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NASBY'S DREAM OF PERFECT BLISS. Page 194.
"SWINGIN ROUND THE CIRKLE."
BYPETROLEUM V. NASBY.
LATE PASTOR OF THE CHURCH OF THE NEW DISPENSATION, CHAPLAIN TO HIS EXCELLENCY THE PRESIDENT, AND P. M. AT CONFEDERATE X ROADS, KENTUCKY.HIS IDEAS OF MEN, POLITICS, AND THINGS, AS SET FORTH IN HIS LETTERS TO THE PUBLIC PRESS, DURING THE YEAR 1866.
Illustrated by Thomas Nast.BOSTON: LEE AND SHEPARD.
1867.Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1866, by LEE AND SHEPARD, In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of Massachusetts. STEREOTYPED AT THE BOSTON STEREOTYPE FOUNDRY. 4 Spring Lane.
DEDIKASHUN UV THIS BOOK.
TO
ANDROO JOHNSON,
THE PRIDE AND HOPE UV DIMOCRISY,
Who hez bin
Alderman uv his native village,
Guvner uv his State,
Member uv the lower
house uv Congress,
And likewise uv the Senit,
Vice President and President,
and might hev bin Diktater,
But who is, nevertheless, a Humble Individooal;
Who hez swung around the entire cirkle uv offishl
honor, without feelin his Oats
much;
The first public man who considered my
services worth payin for;
AND TO
ALEX. W. RANDALL,
POSTMASTER GENERAL,
His most devoted
Servant,
Whose autograph adorns my Commishn ez Postmaster,
This Volume
IS RESPECTFULLY DEDIKATED.
CONTENTS.
- Prefis, or Interductry Chapter, 7
- I. After the New Jersey Election, 13
- II. Converses with General McStinger, 19
- III. A Remarkable Dream, 27
- IV. A Change of Base—Kentucky, 33
- V. Abolition in Kentucky, 41
- VI. A Conversation with a Kentuckian, 47
- VII. A Vision—Spirit of Andrew Jackson, 53
- VIII. A Plan for Up-building the Democracy, 60
- IX. A Vision of the Next World, 66
- X. A Sonnet, 73
- XI. The Situation—The Democracy Warned, 74
- XII. The President's 22D of February Speech, 79
- XIII. A Warning, 87
- XIV. Refuses to Support the President, 92
- XV. The Patriarchal System, 98
- XVI. A Dream, 105
- XVII. A Kentucky Tea Party, 112
- page: 6 (Table of Contents) -7[View Page 6 (Table of Contents) -7]
- XVIII. A Cry of Exultation, 120
- XIX. A Wail of Anguish, 127
- XX. Mournful View of the Situation, 133
- XXI. A Psalm of Gladness, 138
- XXII. A Discourse upon the Nigger, 143
- XXIII. Workings of the Freedmen's Bureau, 150
- XXIV. Presides at a Church Trial, 158
- XXV. Meeting to Indorse Gen. Rosseau, 164
- XXVI. Preaches—The "Prodigal Son," 170
- XXVII. A Pleasant Dream, 177
- XXVIII. The Reward of Virtue, 187
- XXIX. The Convocation at Philadelphia, 196
- XXX. The Great Presidential Excursion, 205
- XXXI. The Presidential Tour Continued, 214
- XXXII. End of the Presidential Tour, 222
- XXXIII. At Home Again, 229
- XXXIV. The Cleveland Convention, 237
- XXXV. An Appeal to the People, 246
- XXXVI. The October Elections, 254
- XXXVII. Mr. Nasby's Opinion on the Cause of The President's Defeat, 261
- XXXVIII. Andrew Johnson President or King? 269
- XXXIX. A Cabinet Meeting, 276
- XL. Sermon on the November Elections, 284
- XLI. A Few Last Words, 291
PREFIS, OR INTERDUCTRY CHAPTER.
THERE is a vacancy in the mind uv the public for jist sich a book ez this, else it had never bin published. There is a vacancy in my pockit for the money I am to reseeve ez copy-rite, else I hed never slung together, in consecootive shape, the ijees wich I hev from time to time flung out thro the public press, for the enlitenment uv an ongrateful public and the guidance uv an obtoose Dimocracy.
I didn't put these thots uv mine upon paper for amoozement. There hezn't bin anythin amoozin in Dimocrisy for the past five years, and the standard-bearers, the captins uv fifties and hundreds, the leaders uv the hosts, hev hed a ruther rough time uv it. Our prominence made us uncomfortable, for we hev bin the mark uv every writer, every orator, ez page: 8-9[View Page 8-9] well ez uv every egg-thrower, in the country. When that gileless patriot, Jeems Bookannon, retired to private life, regretted by all who held office under him, Dimocracy felt that she wuz entrin upon a period uv darknis and gloom. The effort our Suthern brethrin made for their rites, rendered the position uv us Northern Dimocrats eggstremely precarious. We coodent go back on our friends South, for, knowin that peace must come, and that when it did come we wood hev to, ez in the olden time, look to them for support and maintenance, it behooved us to keep on their good side. This wood hev bin easy enuff, but alars! there are laws agin treason, and two-thirds uv the misguided people north hed got into a way uv thinkin that the Dimocrasy South had committed that crime, and they intimated that ef we overstepped the line that divides loyalty from treason by so much ez the millionth part uv a hair, they'd make us suffer the penalty they hoped to mete out to them, but wich, owin to Johnson, they dident, and wat's more, can't. Halleloogy!
But I anticipate. Twict I wuz drafted into a service I detested—twict I wuz torn from the buzzum uv my family, wich I wuz gittin along well enough, even ef the wife uv my buzzum wood occasionally git obstinit, and refooze to give me sich washin money ez wuz nessary to my existence, preferrin to squander it upon bread and clothes for the children,—twict, I say, I wuz pulled into the servis, and twict I wuz forced to desert to the Dimocrisy uv the south, rather than fite agin em. When finally the thumb uv my left hand wuz also accidentally shot off, owin to my foot becomin entangled into the lock uv my gun, wich thumb wuz also accidentally across the muzzle thereof, and I wuz no longer liable to military dooty and cood bid Provost Marshels defiance, I only steered clear uv Scylla to go bumpin onto Charybdis. I coodent let Dimocrisy alone, and the eggins—the ridin upon rails—the takin uv the oath—but why shood I harrow up the public buzzum? I stood it all till one nite I wuz pulled out uv bed, compelled to kneel onto my bare knees in the cold snow, the extremity uv my under garment, wich modesty forbids me to menshun the name uv it, fluttrin in a Janooary wind, and by a crowd uv laffin soljers compelled to take the oath and drink a pint uv raw, undilooted water! That feather broke the back uv the camel. The oath give me inflamashen uv the brane and the water inflamashen uv the stumick, and for six long weeks I lay, a wreck uv my former self. Ez I arose from that bed and saw in a glass the remains uv my pensive beauty, I vowed to wage page: 10-11[View Page 10-11] a unceasin war on the party wich caused sich havoc, and I hev kept my oath.
I hev in the Apossel biznis more extensively than any man sence the time uv Paul. First I established a church uv Democrats in a little oasis I diskivered in the ablishn state uv Ohio, to wit, at Wingert's Corners, where ther wuz four groceries, but nary church or skool-house within four miles, and whose populashen wuz unanimously Dimocratic, the grocery keepers hevin mortgages on all the land around em—but alars! I wuz forced to leeve it after the election of Linkin in 1864. Noo Gersey bein the only state North wich wuz on squelched, to her I fled, and at Saint's Rest (wich is in Noo Gersey) I erected another tabernacle. There I stayed, and et and drank and wuz merry, but Ablishnism pursood me thither, and in the fall uv '65 that state got ornery and cussid, and went Ablishn, and agin, like the wandrin Jew. I wuz forced to pull up, and wend my weary way to Kentuckly, where, at Confedrit X Roads, I feel that I am safe. Massychoosets ideas can't penetrate us here. The aristocracy bleeve in freedom uv speech, but they desire to exercise a supervision over it, that they may not be led astray. They bleeve they'r rite, and for fear they'd be forced to change their minds, whenever they git into argument with anybody, ef the individooal gits the better uv them, they to-wunst shoot him ez a disturber. Hence Massychoosits can't disturb us here; the populashen is unanimously Democratic, and bids fair to continyoo so.
Here I hope to spend the few remainin years uv a eventful life. Here in the enjoyment uv that end uv the hopes uv all Democrats, a Post Offis, with four well-regulated groceries within a stun's throw, and a distillery ornamentin the landscape only a quarter uv a mile from where I rite these lines, with the ruins uv a burnt nigger school house within site uv my winder, from wich rises the odor, grateful to a Democratic nostril, and wich he kin snuff afar off, and say ha! ha! to, uv a half dozen niggers wich wuz consumed when it wuz burned, wat more kin I want? I feel that I am more than repaid for all my suffrins, and that I shel sale smoothly down the stream uv time, unvexed and happy.
It is proper to state that the papers uv which this volume is composed wuz written at various times and under various circumstances. They reflect the mind uv the author doorin a most eventful year in his history, and mark the condition uv the Dimocrisy from week to week. Consekently they shift from page: 12-13[View Page 12-13] grave to gay, from lively to severe, with much alacrity, the grate party seemin at times to be lifted onto the top wave uv success, and at other times bein down in the trough uv despondency and despair.
I mite say more, but wherefore? Ez the record uv a year uv hopes and fears, uv exaltation and depression, it may possess interest or may not—'cordin to the style uv the reader. Whatever may be its fate, one thing I am certin uv, to wit: I am a reglerly commissioned P. M.; and while the approval of the public mite lighten the toils uv offishl life and sweeten the whisky wich the salary purchases, the frowns uv the said public can't redoose me to the walks uv private life. They can't frown me out uv offis, nor frown P. M. General Randall's name off my commishn.
P. V. N.
POST OFFIS, CONFEDRIT X ROADS (wich is in the State uv Kentucky), Oct. 1, 1866.