Lunarius :
page: [View Page ] page: 0 (TitlePage) [View Page 0 (TitlePage) ]LUNARIUS: A VISITOR FROM THE MOON. NEW YORK: National Temperance Society and Publication House. 172 WILLIAM STREET. 1869. page: 0-3[View Page 0-3] Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1869, by J. N. STEARNS, In the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York. ROCKWELL & CHURCHLL, Printers and Stereotypers, 122 Washington St., Boston. THE INVESTIGATIONS OF LUNARIUS. OF late years there has been much specu- lation among philosophers relative to the plurality of worlds, and whether other planets and orbs are, like our own, teeming with sentient, rational, intelligent beings. And if so, what is this physical structure? Have they bodies like ours? What is their char- acter? Have death and woe ever entered their abodes? Or have they "kept their first estate"? And are they, like our first parents in Paradise, in primeval innocence, holding constant, delightful converse with 3 page: 4-5[View Page 4-5] 'TH INVESTIGATIONS God, - scanning his works, and glorying in his perfections? If they are fallen beings, has the same stupendous display of mercy, the same magnificent scheme for their res- toration to the divine favor, been published among them? And shall we eventually, if saved, mingle with the virtuous and good of those distant and distinct worlds, after all the machinery for our material existence, having become useless, shall be demol- ished, together with the great globe, itself on which we dwell? These and questions of similar import have often agitated the minds of men. But whatever may be the truth in regard to these imaginings, and leaving philosophers and speculatists to pursue their inquiries, I beg leave here to relate an occurrence that has, for some days past, occupied more or XI -- OF LUNARIUS. less of my thoughts, and in which I confess I have become a good deal interested. Hav- ing perhaps presumptuously consented to deliver a temperance lecture to the good people of this town, and claiming to be, in one respect at least not unlike the great Jew- ish lawgiver, slow of speech, I turned aside into a retired grove, to try to study out some "form of sound words" wherewith to deliver myself of the message. Night had overshadowed the earth, and busy mortals had retired to rest. While deeply musing, and not a little perplexed as to what the matter of my speech should be, my attention was suddenly arrested by a singular phenomenon. Casting my eyes towards the full moon, - which was then just about midway toward the zenith, - I discovered, poised on easy pinions, about page: 6-7[View Page 6-7] 'THE INVESTIGATIONS midway in the heavens, in reality or imagi- nation, which I need not tell, - it matters not, - I saw, or imagined I saw, a being of unearthly make; lofty, erect, majestic, benignant; in all his movements graceful and heavenly. It was Lunarius. He had come from that bright orb which was then reflecting, with such mildness, its soft lustre upon the earth. The philosophers of his native planet it seems, like those of our own, had long in- quired and tried, but tried in vain, to solve the problem, whether the earth, which to them was the most proximate, and, next to the sun, by far the most glorious object in the heavens, was inhabited; and if so, what were the character, condition, employments, and prospects of the beings that dwelt upon it? Lunarius, having obtained permission OF LUNARIUS. 7 from the Lord of his sphere, had, in behalf of his species, undertaken this first voyage of observation and discovery. Arriving in the vicinity of our earth, and having stationed himself in the position above described, he had, unobserved hitherto, spent much time in surveying our world, and looking into the affairs of men. It did not take him long to discover that he had come to a rebellious province of God's dominions. While some things seemed to indicate that this revolted world was still, to some ex- tent, under the government of the great Creator, many most revolting scenes passed under his observation. He discovered, with the deepest grief, that the races of man had given themselves up to violence and the indulgence of passions almost unrestrained, and that the greatest enemy of mankind is page: 8-9[View Page 8-9] 8 THE INVESTIGATIONS man. But amid these scenes of universal wretchedness and- woe, there was one de- partment of human pursuit and suffering that particularly attracted his attention, and deeply affected him. "What it could image, much he searched to know, And still he stood and gazed and wondered long." And the longer he gazed and stood, the more he wondered, till all his thoughts and passions seemed engrossed by what he saw, and led him, perhaps unconsciously, to break the silence. "Stranger! inhabitant of the earth!" said he; " what mean those dark, unsightly dens which I see scattered so frequently in the dells and corners of the earth, that send forth vapor and fire and smoke and stench? I see the busy multitude wending their way OF LUNARIUS. 9 thither from every point, laden with the fruits of the earth, which were evidently designed by the beneficent Creator for the sustenance of man, and casting their bur- dens unhesitatingly into the fiery crater. Again I have looked to see if anything was borne away from these receptacles, from which I might infer that the fruits of the earth had been worked over, and better adapted to the wants of man. But, though long I've looked with painful eye, I've looked in vain. But I see issuing from every one of them, through dark, leaden pipes, certain fiery streams. These flow out into numerous reservoirs, and then, in innumerable smaller streams, they are con- veyed to your cities and towns and villages, and all over your vast prairies, over your hills and through your valleys, to almost page: 10-11[View Page 10-11] 10 THE INVESTIGATIONS every habitation of man. I see the multi- tude everywhere, eager for its approach, and opening their houses, and their mouths even, to receive the fiery fluid. I see the aged and the young, the decrepit and the healthy, the male and the female, the high and the low, the rich and the poor, plung- ing, with desperate strides, into the stream, and goging themselves therefrom. I see parents laving their children with it, and, ever and anon, pouring it down their necks; and the delicate female even, receiwing it to her lips. "But," continued he, " the effects which I perceive inevitably to follow upon coming in contact with these streams, perplex and trouble me much." Here Lunarius went into an enumeration, at length, of the dreadful effects which, OF LUNARIUS. " from his aerial seat he had himself witnessed, with a particularity, and in a strain of eloquence that would have done credit to a modern temperance agent, or a Washing- tonian who had lived all his life in the midst of these fiery streams, and been himself deeply affected thereby. But time would fail me to follow him in this painful enu- meration. Suffice it to say, that, so far as his observation had gone, the effects were only evil. His heart had not yet been re- lieved by the discovery of any good -the minutest - intermingled with the evil. Des- olation: and woe seemed to characterize the progress of these streams wherever they went. "O man! inhabitant of the earth, and better skilled than a stranger from a distant planet in the economy of man,- will you relieve this aching heart," he page: 12-13[View Page 12-13] 12 THE INVESTIGATIONS kindly asked, "by informing me now, what good accrues to mankind from the operation of this vast machinery as an offset for the multitude of evils which it brings upon your species?"I replied, "I cannot tell."- "What," continued Lunarius, "dost thou know of no good derived from it to thine unhappy race, to compensate for all the anguish and blood and death, which it pro- duces?"I said, "I know of none." - Wilt thou not, then, O mortal man!" he asked again, in tones of the deepest earnestness, "wilt thou not assemble the wise men of your earth, -your philosophers and sages and physiologists, your moralists and good men,--that I may diligently inquire of them; that I may understand this great mystery; that this enigma may be solved before I return to my native sphere?"I OF LUNARIUS. 13 said, "I will try." Thereupon, I jmmedi- ately called the trumnpeter, and told him to sound the trumpet shrill and long. By the time it had done sounding, I saw before me, or imagined I saw before me (I need not tell which, it matters not), a vast assemblage of the wise men of the earth, venerable for age and learning and wisdom, among whom I discovered presidents and -governors and senators and kings and emperors and jurists and physicians and divines and apostles and prophets and farmers and mechanics; in- deed, all classes of our race were repre- sented in the vast assembly. They had come to aid Lunarius in his investigations, and furnish him, if in their power, with a solution of the painful difficulty he had en- countered in his inquiries into the condition of man. page: 14-15[View Page 14-15] " 'hrnE INVESTIGATIONS Lunarius, from his aerial seat, with an air of majesty, benignity, and grace, and in tones of deep earnestness and solemnity, immediately addressed himself to his dis- tinguished auditors, who listened with the most respectful, attention to the celestial visitant. Time would fail me to recapitulate his exordium, or, indeed, anything more than the numerous questions propounded by Lu- narius, and the substance merely of the re- plies made by his learned and distinguished catechumens, expressed in the briefest man- ner possible. Should I have written it all down, it would have made a library as large as the Encyclopaedia. After a suitable address, Lunarius thus began his inquiries:-- O men! - inhabitants of this terrestrial eI OF LUNARIUS. 15 globe, -can you tell me wherein is the good that men propose to themselves by this vast enginery and apparatus, with which almost all your race seem to be more or less con- nected, and which, so far as I am yet able to discover, is productive of evil only? Bear with me while I inquire in detail: "1. Are these streams on which so many seem to feed, productive of any nourishment to the body?" The response was distinct and universal, that chemical analysis and universal ex- perience have demonstrated that there is no more nourishment in a draught of these waters than there is in a flash of light- ning "2. Well, do they not prevent disease?" Dr. John James, late of Upper Alton, in behalf of his profession, arose and replied page: 16-17[View Page 16-17] 16 THNl INVESTIGATIONS emphatically, that these waters have an in- jurious influence in all the diseases that affect the human system. They originate many, and aggravate and add to the pain and danger of all. "3. I perceive," said Lunarius, "that when a man first comes in contact with them, he seems to be stronger. Do they not increase permanently a man's strength?" The venerable Dr. Rush replied, "They impair strength." "4. Well, my good doctor," continued Lunarius, "let me ask, do they not improve the appetite?" Dr. Rush again, in behalf of the whole profession, replied, "They occasion a decay of appetite." "5. Do they not allay thirst?" Many voices answered, "The oftener and OF LUNARrUS. 17 more a man drinks of them, the oftener and more thirsty will he be." "6. Do they not promote digestion?" Dr. Sewell, who has investigated this point thoroughly, and published to the world a picture of the living stomach of one who had taken frequent draughts at these streams, stepped forward, and declared that "The use of these waters deranges the func- tions of the stomach, and, if persisted in, seldom fails to change its organic struct- ure." 7. Do they not fortify the body against the effects of cold weather?" "This is far from being true," promptly answered Dr. Rush. "The temporary warmth it produces is always succeded by a greater disposition in the body to be affected by the cold." 2 page: 18-19[View Page 18-19] 18 THE INVESTIGATIONS "8. Doctor, are they not necessary in warm weather?" "As well," replied the doctor, " might we throw oil into a house, the roof of which was on fire, in order to prevent the flames from extending to its inside, as pour these in- flammable waters into the stomach to lessen the effects of a hot sun upon the skin.' 9. I observe," said Lunarius, " that these waters are much used by the husbandmen while gathering in the produce of the soil. Pray be so good as to inform me, are they not necessary in time of haying and har- vest?" A farmer instantly replied, "Ever since I banished them from my farm I have had my crops got into my barns in better order, and in better season, and with less trouble than before." OF LUNARIUS. 19 "10. Are they not necessary for firemen on board of steamboats?" asked Lunarius. Captain Holcomb, known to many western travellers, replied, "I have run a steam- boat the whole length of the western waters for a whole season together, without losing a trip, or suffering an accident, and not a drop was allowed to the hands on board." "11. Are they not necessary for seamen in the coldest latitudes?" An English sailor replied, that "'A Danish crew of sixty men, well supplied with provisions and thesefiery waters, attempted to winter in Hudson's Bay; but fifty-eight of them died before spring. An English crew of twenty-two men, destitute of these waters, and obliged to be almost constantly exposed to the cold, wintered in the same bay, and only two of them died." page: 20-21[View Page 20-21] 20 THE INVESTIGATIONS "12. I perceive," said Lunarius, "they temporarily increase strength and agility. Is that increased activity and strength usually expended in useful purposes?" Several voices instantly replied, "If run- ning, jumping, wrestling, fighting, and act- ing like a bear, a tiger, or a monkey, be useful, then we might answer this question in the affirmative." "13. Do they not make a mail more in- telligent and wise?" A venerable patriarch, in behalf of the whole assembly, gravely replied, that the experience of thousands of the race, and the observations of millions more, go to show, that although they make a man wise in His own conceit, they make him a fool in the estimation of everybody else; that although they give a wild and mad- i OF LUNARIUS. 21 dening impulse to the brain for a short interval, they eventually impair. and waste its energies. And our holy oracles affirm that, "whoso is deceived thereby is not wise." "14. Do they not strengthen the mem- ory?" Dr. Sewell replied, "The memory is enfeebled, and sometimes quite obliterated by their use." "15. Well, doctor, do they not strength- en the judgment?" Doctor Sewell replied, "The judgment becomes clouded and impaired in its strength under their influence." And Dr. Warren, a distinguished surgeon, added, that "No surgeon having an important operation to' perform could safely take even one glass of wine," the weakest page: 22-23[View Page 22-23] 22 THE INVESTIGATIONS form of these waters, -"for it would dis- turb his judgment in a greater or less degree." "16. tWill they not make a mechanic more skilful?" A mechanic replied, by exclaiming sar- castically, "Whoever heard of a man being better qualified to put a watch together, or some other intricate machinery, byfirst getting drunk!" "17. I have noticed," said Lunarius, "that they temporarily excite men's intel- lects to greater action. Is not that in- creased action usually judicious and use- ful?" The moral and intellectual philosophers responded, "We often hear of men being better fitted to serve the devil. But who ever heard of a man's devising better plans OF LUNARIUS. 23 for serving God and his country when drunk than when sober?" "18. Will they not raise a man in his own sober estimation?" A Washingtonian replied, "After I had recovered from their influence, I loathed and despised myself more heartily than I did the very reptiles that crawled on the ground." "19. Does not the business, upon the whole, promote in men habits of cleanliness and decency?" A voice promptly responded, For an answer to this question, O Lunarius, turn your head into the door of one of the common tap-rooms whence these burning waters ooze out; and, if you can withstand the column of noxious vapors that is ever oozing from them, stand in your tracks page: 24-25[View Page 24-25] 24 THEit INVESTIGATIONS long enough to witness the degraded, miserable remnants of men, entangled in the meshes of Satan, staggering, loung- ing, spewing, foaming, and wallowing in their own filth and shame. Or, :for another example, you may see one literally lying with a dozen hogs in the mud and filth, - a spectacle which is not unfrequently wit- nessed." "20. Will they not enable a man to make better bargains?" A farmer replied, that he had known a man to barter away even the rails that enclosed his cornfield, and turn it into the commons, after drinking a glass or two of these waters, when only an hour or two before the very proposition was treated with the utmost scorn. "21. But," continued Lunarius, "will they OF LUNARIUS. 25 not make a man more careful in contracting debts?" A sherif present replied, that he had, in the performance of official duty, sold many valuable estates to pay debts fool- ishy contracted under the influence of the insanity occasioned by these waters. "22. But do they not insure greater punctuality in the payment of debts?" All the merchants present responded, that nearly all their bad debts were against intemperate men. "23. Do they not promote a man's cred- it?"' A sagacious merchant replied, that he had recently refused a man credit for no other reason than because his breath smelled of the liquors from these pestilen- tial streams. page: 26-27[View Page 26-27] 236 iTHE INVESTIGATIONS "24. Will they not protect a man from insult and violence?" asked Lunarius. To this the whole congregation re- sponded, "There is no class of men on this terrestrial globe so often abused and laughed at, and maimed and robbed, and stripped of everything, as the poor drunk- ard." "25. Will they not make a man more re- spectchle?" The congregationagain replied, "There is no man more shunned as a companion than the drunkard." 26. But do they not increase his useful- ness " asked Lunarius. A philosopher replied, "A man's useful- ness depends upon the action of his body or his mind, or both. How can his usefulness, then, be promoted by that which destroys OF LUNARIUS. 27 both? As well talk of increasing the strength of a horse by cutting his ham- strings." "27. Will they not make a man a kinder, and better, and more provident husband and father," asked the celestial visitant. A philanthropist, who had been much in the habit of visiting the abodes of wretched- ness, immediately arose and said, "Permit me, as an appropriate answer to this ques- tion, to relate something I recently heard in a wretched cabin that I visited. 'Mother,' said a little pale-faced, sickly- looking boy, - mother, this bread is very hard. Why don't we have cake and nice things as we used to when we lived in the great house? Oh, that was such a pretty house, mamma, and such a pleasant garden, all filled with flowers; and you made such page: 28-29[View Page 28-29] 28 THE INVESTIGATIONS sweet music with your fingers, and pa would sing. Pa used to laugh then, and tell me pretty stories, and take me on his knee, and say I was his own dear boy. Mamma, what makes pa so sick, and look so bad? It makes me afraid when he stamps on the floor, and says so loud, "George, go off to bed." Mamma, will he get well again, and take me on his knee again, and sing me a sweet song, and love me as he used to do? Mamma, what makes you cry? Did I make you cry? It makes me sorry to see you so sad and unhappy. Won't you wipe away your tears, and smile again? ' "'My son! O my George! My child! Your father is a drunkard!'" "28. But do they not make a woman a better wife, or more kind and faithful mother?" OF LUNARIUS. 29 The whole congregation, in horror, ex- claimed, "A drunken wife! A drunken mother! Spareus, spare us, O Lunarius!" "29. Well, then, do they not promote the respectability of a man's family?" The whole vast assembly responded as with the voice of one man, "We have never heard of a family being more respected by the virtuous and good in consequence of using these liquors. We can point to thou- sands of families whose reputation has been ruined, but not to one whose respectability has been increased by them." "30. Do not these waters promote the interest, eventually, of the dealers them- selves?" Here, Rev. Dr. Edwards, who had spent much time in investigating this point, arose and stated many facts, only one of which I page: 30-31[View Page 30-31] 30 THE INVESTIGATIONS can here repeat. "In a single county, in the State of New York," said he, "of two hundred and seventeen dealers, one hundred and fifty-five failed in their business, and seventy-nine are known to have died drunk- ards." "31. Well, does not the drinking or dealing in these liquors promote peace of mind. " "Oh, the indescribable horrors of mind I have suffered!" exclaimed a Washingtonian. "I have felt at times such a sinking it seemed to me I could not live. I could compare my feelings to nothing but a burning fire. "- "We were compelled to quit the business," exclaimed several voices, "because we could have no peace of mind while we remained in it."- "Well may they tremble," added Chief Justice Daggett, "lest the blood of OF LUNARIUS. 31 murdered bodies and souls should be re- quired at their hands." "32. Are they not favorable to the virtue of a man's family?" "If you will cast your eye, O Lunarius, over the whole surface of this globe," re- sponded the great congregation, " you will find no class of children so vicious, and so destitute of all moral culture, as those of the drunkard, and especially the children of the drunkard-maker." "33. Will they not prevent men from committing suicide?" * A reformed drunkard exclaimed, "I was strongly tempted to put an end to myself." Another said, "Many a time have I felt life to be really a burden, and, but for the fear of plunging into still deeper woes, it would have cost me but little effort to terminate in page: 32-33[View Page 32-33] 32 THE INVESTIGATIONS the most summary manner my existence." A coroner also testified that three-fourths of all the suicides are instigated by these liquors. ' 34. Well, do they not silence the tongue of slander?9? Rev. Dr. Beecher, an eminent divine, re- plied, "If the tongue ever sets on firb the whole course of nature, and is itself set on fire of hell, it is when stimulated by these fiery potations. "35. But," said Lunarius, "let me inquire again, will they not add to the comforts of a man's house, keep its windows whole, the roof from leaks, his garden clean of weeds, his fences whole, his gates locked, his bars put up, his hogs yoked, or his cattle and hbrses fat?" "If you have yet cast your eye upon the OF LUNARIUS. 33 field or house of the drunkard, O Lunarius, you have an answer," was the reply. "36. Do they not render the dealer him- self more kind and benevolent in his dis- position?" A former mayor of the city of Alton arose and said emphatically, "I have often thought, if there was any class of men under the heavens of the Lord entirely destitute of sympathy, it is the rum-seller." He il- lustrated it by a variety of facts. "37. Do they not promote purity of thought and action?" A philanthopist replied, that those dens of infamy in our large cities would scarcely be sustained but for the influence of stim. ulating drinks. An eminent jurist added that nearly every man in our country pun ished for criminality in that direction ha; 3 page: 34-35[View Page 34-35] 34 TIIE INVESTIGATIONS confessed that he was excited by these liquors when he committed the crime. "38. Do they not promote a man's liberty?" asked Lunarius. The multitude answered, "They are the greatest incentives to slavery that exist on the globe. They make the man a slave of his appetites and passions. They trip up, his feet without violence, and bind him hand and foot in the gutter without chains." "39. Do they not diminish the tenants of your penitentiaries?" Rev. Louis Dwighlt, Secretary of the American Prison Discipline Society, an- swered, "Four-fifths of all the inmates com- mitted their crimes under the influence of these liquors." "40. Well," said Lunarius, "do they not empty your poor-houses?" OF LUNARIUS. 35 Several overseers of the poor replied, that of one thousand nine hundred and sixty-four paupers in different alms-houses, one thou- sand seven hundred and ninety were made paupers by partaking of these intoxicating liquors. "41. Do they not deter from deeds of violence and murder?" A judge replied, "Of eleven murders committed, all except one were committed by intemperance." Another judge said, "Of twenty cases of murder examined by me, all were occasioned by these spirituous liquors." Another said, "Of more than two hundred murders which were committed in the Uni- ted States in one year, nearly all were said to have their origin in drinking from these streams." "42. Let me ask, Is drunkenness ever page: 36-37[View Page 36-37] 36 THE INVESTIGATIONS produced by these milder forms of these waters called wine, cider, beer, etc.?" Here the Duke of Orleans, then heir-ap- parent to the throne of Franc., stepped for- ward and said, "The drunkenness of iFrance is on WINE." Moses, the great Jewish lawgiver, who ruled a greater nation than France, testified of Noah that he I began to be an husband- man, and planted a vineyard, and he drank of the wine and was drunk." King Solomon, also testified that "Wine is a mocker, and strong drink is raging (and he knew of no stronger drink than wine). He also ex- dlaimed, with manifest emotion, "Who hath woe? who hath sorrow? who hath con- tentions? who hath babblings? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine; OF LUNARIUS. 37 they that go to seek mixed wine." (For the rest of his testimony reference was made to the twenty-third chapter of Proverbs.) The prophet Joel next lifted up his voice, and exclaimed, "Weep and howl, all ye drink- ers of wine." And, finally, the injunction of the Apostle Paul was quoted, "Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess," etc. "43. Well, let me ask," said Lunarius, "does the drunkenness produced by these milder forms ever lead to murder and sui- cide " The coroner of Madison County, Ill., re- sponded, that some years ago, he held an inquest over the dead body of Mrs. Legin, * in the little village of Madison, who had been shot dead at noonday, by her husband, while getting him a warm dinner; he hav- ing come home intoxicated, and his pas- page: 38-39[View Page 38-39] 38 THE INVESTIGATIONS sions inflamed by hard cider. It was testi- fied that he had drank nothing stronger that day. When he got sober, and realized what he had done, his remorse and anguish were so great, he committed suicide in the jail at Edwardsville. "44. Ye men of the healing art, while ye are up, allow me to ask you a question of some importance. Are they necessary as a medicine?" Dr. Chapman, in behalf of his profession, replied, That " so far from it, it is the duty of physicians to discountenance the popular notion of their remedial eicacy." And Dr. Mussey added, "So I a h long as these liquors re- tain a place among sick patients, so long there will be drunkcenness, ay, and patients too." To these sentiments all the physicians OF LUNARIUS. 39 present assented, among whom were more than seven hundred from the British me- tropolis alone, and, to show their sincerity, every one of the seven hundred signed the certificate with his own hand. An aged man also testified that he had used these ardent waters as an invalid, for many years. He gave them up, and got well. It was the remedy that kept up the disease; and when he renounced the one, he got well of the other. "45. Well, doctors, let me ask again, do they not prolong life?" Dr. Hossack replied, that the amount of human life gained by temperance, to the society of Friends, is more than the differ- ence between thirty-three and forty-seven, an average of fourteen years gained in every life, which is equal to forty-two per cent. page: 40-41[View Page 40-41] 40 'THE' INVESTIGATIONS Doctor James also said, 'They coincide with the causes, aggravate the form, and increase the danger of every disease that affects the human body or mind. They shorten the term of human life, even when used temperately." All the physicians pres- ent -many thousands in number-arose and said, "This testimony is true." "46. Do they not secure for men the watchful care and soothing attentions of kind and sympathizing friends, on a bed of sickness and death, and a respectful and decent burial?" "Well," said Lunarius, "',I perceive that the cholera, that terrible scourge, is just now making its ravages among your hapless race; will not the free use of these waters destroy its venom and arrest its prog- ress?" X / OF LUNARIUS. 41 A host of the best physicians from all parts of the world are immediately upon their feet. "In India a native physician declares that people who do not take spirits or opium do not catch the disease, even when they are with those who have it." As the pestilence swept over India years ago, it was stated that, "in the army, consisting of eighteen thousand men, more than half of the men died in the first twelve days;" the free use of intoxicating liquors was as- signed as the cause. Mr. Hubor, who saw two thousand one hundred and sixty perish in twenty-five days, in one town in Russia, says, "It is a most remarkable circumstance, that persons given to drinking have been swept away like flies. In Triflis, containing twenty thousand \ V'VV IIUJ)l page: 42-43[View Page 42-43] 42 T'tiE INVESTIGATIONS inhabitants, every drunkard has fallen, - all are dead! Not one remains /" "In Paris, of the thirty thousand de- stroyed by cholera,' a few years ago, " it is said that a greatproportion were intemperate and profligate." It is also stated by com- putation that five-sixths of all who have fallen by this disease in England were taken from the ranks of the intemperate and disso- lute. A physician, who-visited Montreal, during the prevalence of cholera in the summer of 1852, says, "The victims of the disease are the intemperate; it invaria- bly cuts them off." In that city, after there had been one thousand two hundred cases of the malady, a Montreal journal states that" not a drunkard who has been attacked has recovered, and almost all the victims to it have been at least moderate drinkes " OF LUNARIUS. 43 A reliable gentleman of New York city says of that period when the scourge visited that city, "Facts abundantly authorize the conclusion, that had it not been for the sale and use of spirits, there had not been cholera enough in the city of New York to have caused the cessation of business for a single day." A gentleman residing in the city at the time has thus marked the connection be- tween rum and cholera: "A quantity of spirits was taken from a certain store in the morning, and distributed to a number of grogshops. In the evening the workmen assembled and received their accustomed quantity. The next morning one, and another, and another, were carried by my door to the hospital, and in the afternoon were taken to the Potter's Field." page: 44-45[View Page 44-45] " THE INVESTIGATIONS The coroner of Madison County, Illinois, furnished the following answer to this in- quiry. On the 15th day of August, 1838, he was called to hold an inquest over the body of Edward Glennon, found in the field of Mr. Debow. It was shown that, on Wednesday 11th previous, he had got drunk at Burrett's grocery, and had filled his bottle at the tap-room, aud on his way home had tumbled over the fence into the field aforesaid, which was the last that was seen of him till the 15th. When found, his head was severed from his body, and lay several yards from it, with the flesh mostly gnawed off by the dogs. One arm was found a few yards from the body, in another direction, also mangled and partly devoured. The body, having been for three days ex- posed to the intense heat of the sun, pre- OF LUNARIUS. 45 sented a most loathsome mass of putrefac- tion. After the coroner's inquest, a hole was dug close by, and with the aid of their spades the remnant of his putrefied carcass was tumbled into the ground. The verdict of the jury was, that these waters had brought him to his death. "47. Do they not," asked Lunarius, " make bread, that upon which your species mainly subsist, more abundant?" The editor of the "New York American" here arose and said, that he had ascer- tained that more grain was consumed in the distilleries in the city of New York than is consumed by all the inhabitants of the city. "48. Well, do these waters increase the value of property?" Several political economists replied, that ? page: 46-47[View Page 46-47] " THE INVESTIGATIONS in those towns and villages where these streams had been excluded, property was worth from twenty-five to one hundred per cent. more than where they were permitted still to flow. "49. But do they not prevent shipwrecks and steamboat disasters?" One who escaped the wreck of the Ben Sherod, in 1837, arose and testified that just before that fearful disaster, by which one hundred and fifty human beings were hur- ried into eternity, a barrel of whiskey was placed on deck, for the use of the hands, who drank to excess, and became intoxi- cated. Others testified ithat the no less dis- astrous fates of the steamboats Home, the Lexington, and the Erie, were owing to the same cause. "50. Is not the dealing in these waters OF LUNARIUS. 47 regarded as a safe business to the commu- nity?" To this inquiry the magistrates replied, that the tapsters are required by the laws of all the States to give bonds to keep the peace, in a large sum of money, which req- uisition is made of no other class of busi- ness men, and would not, of course, be made of these, were it considered a per- fectly safe business. "51. Do not these streams promote quiet- ness along the streets " The magistrates again replied that nearly all the quarrelling and cow-hiding, and fight- ing, and pistolling, and drinking, are excited by these. "52. Do they not promote subordination to the laws?" asked Lunarius. A lawyer here arose and said, "By your page: 48-49[View Page 48-49] 48 'THE INVESTIGATIONS leave, Lunarius, I will read from the papers some account of their influence in exciting the lawless and violent proceedings in Alton on the 7th November, 1837, when blood stained its streets, and the man of God was slain." Leave being granted, the following items were read: "Soon after dark there were unwonted gatherings in certain coffee-houses. Here the spirit of vengeance which had been rankling in their hearts was excited to desperation by 'spirit behind, the counter. In about an hour after, when the mob had had time to revive their spirits, and recruit their courage in the aforesaid coffee-houses, they returned with increased numbers, armed with guns, muskets, etc., and re- commenced the attack with renewed vio- ence. Whiskey was brought and distrib- OF LUNARIUS. 49 uted freely among them. Occasionally one of the mob was heard to sing out, 'If any more guns or whiskey is wanted, away to the French coffee-house."' "53. Do they not promote the ends of justice?" A judge arose and said, "I will tell you Lunarius, how this operates. A man was indicted by the Municipal Court of Alton for a heinous crime. While the jury were retired, contrary to law, a stream of these waters was let into the room. Sev- eral of them drank of it. One in particular, who was infdvor of convicting the prisoner, after he had drank, swore he would go in for clearing him. The jury were unable to agree, and they returned into court without any decision. From this one case, you may learn the rest." 4 page: 50-51[View Page 50-51] 50 xTiH INVESTIGATIONS "54. Do they not promote the purity of elections?" To this a reformed drunkard replied. that "he had controlled, at a single elec- tion, more than one hundred votes by whis- key. And," added he, "I cal do it again.' "55. Well, then, do they not add dig nity, wisdom, and efficiency, to your legis lative councils?" Henry A. Wise, then a distinguished and loyal member of Congress, from Vir ginia, arose and said, "I will answer that question. I state the fact to the nation, said he, "that some of the higher execu tive officers at Washington are, and have been, notorious drunkards. And I further state, that I have often heard the reason assigned, and believe it was a valid one for the House of Representatives of the OF LUNARIUS. 51 Congress of the United States not sitting in the evening, after dinner, when the business required it, that many of the members were so much in the habit of intoxication, that they were not only unfit themselves for public duty, after a certain hour in the day, but were likely to pre- vent others from discharging their duty, by interrupting the order of business." Extracts were also read from the Rec- ord of Congress, as recent as the 11th and 12th of April, 1866, to the ef- fect, that in the Senate a resolution was offered to prohibit the sale. of spirituous liquors in the capitol building. The reason assigned was that there should be something done pronptly to prevent such disgraceful scenes as had recently been witnessed about the capitol. Not only page: 52-53[View Page 52-53] 52 THE INVESTIGATIONS were members in the habit of getting drunk themselves, but even the little boys empl9yed by them as pages, had been sent home drunk at night.-Passed the Senate by a vote of thirty-three to two. In the House a distinguished member from Illinois, moved that the White House -Presidential Mansion be included in the resolution; which, with his amendment, was adopted. "56. Well, then, let me ask," continued Lunarius, "are they not necessary for men in public oqfce?" To this question, the illustrious Thomas Jefferson, the framer of the Declaration of Independence, replied, and surely no man could answer better than he,-"that the habit of using ardent spirits by men in public life has occasioned more injury to the public service, and more trouble OF LUNARIUS. 53 to me than any other circumstance which has occurred in the internal concerns of the country, during my administration. And were I to commence my administration again, with the knowledge which from experience I have acquired, the first ques- tion which I would ask with regard to every candidate for public office should be, Is he addicted to the use of ardent spir- its? "57. W ell, are they not necessary in our armies " A numerous corps of the officers of the army were at once upon their feet, and testified, that "the gill of whiskey allowed to men on fatigue duty by the Act of Con- gress, passed March 2d, 1819, not only failed to answer the end for which it was granted, but contributed, in a great de- page: 54-55[View Page 54-55] 54 THtiJ INVESTIGATIONS gree, to form and keep alive habits of intemperance, --the legitimate result of which are insubordination, disease, and crime." Major-General McClellan, of the Army of the Potomac, said, "No one evil so much obstructs this army in its progress to that condition which will enable it to accomplish all that true soldiers can, as the degrading vice of' drunkenness. It is the cause of by far the greater part of the disorders which are tried by courts martial. It is impossible to estimate the benefits that would accrue to the service from the adoption of a resolution, on the part of the officers, to set their men an example of total abstinence from intoxicat- ing drinks. It would be worth fifty thou- sand men to the army of the United States." OF LUNARIUS. 55 "58. Do they not perpetuate estates and families 9? asked Lunarius. Rev. Dr. Edwards replied to this, that in one town containing less than nine hun- dred inhabitants and about one .hundred farms, it has been ascertained that thirty farms, within thirty years, have been lost by intemperance. In another tow n of thir- teen hundred inhabitants, thirty-seven farms changed owners from the same cause, in the same time. In another, of some fifteen hundred inhabitants, eighty estates had been squandered away by intemperate own- ers, in about fifty years." "59. Do they not secure a more hardy race of children?" The sons of AEsculapius promptly re- 'plied, that "the diseases produced by drunkenness are, many of them, hereditary, page: 56-57[View Page 56-57] 56 'THx INVESTIGATIONS and that it tends to deteriorate the human race." In a work from the pen of M. Jules Simon, entitled, "Le Travail," which has just appeared in Paris, appear the follow- ing statements of the condition of the chil- dren of working-men in some parts of France - "Even in France there are towns where women rival men in habits of intoxication. At Lille, at Rouen, there are some so satu- rated with it, that their infants refuse to take the breast of a sober woman. In the mountains of the Vosges infants drink eau de vie. On Sunday, in the churches, the air is literally infected with the smell of eau de vie made from potatoes. In those mountains there are no more frequent causes of idiocy and imbecility, for, in OF LUNARIUS. 57 general, the dwellings are healthy, and the water is excellent. The great misfortune is, that the children of habitual drunkards are idiots, so that the punishment follows from generation to generation, from the guilty and degraded father to the innocent children. In the manufacturing towns the mayors are obliged to take measures against the cabarets that supply eau de vie to chil- dren, for there are drunkards of fifteen as there are laborers at eight; and, morally and physically, they present a melancholy spectacle." "60. But does not the drinking of these liquors, after all,prevent drunkenness?" The Washingtonian replied, "When a man may run into the fire t f to escape being burned, or into the water to escape drown- ing-then, and not till then, O Lunarius! *' page: 58-59[View Page 58-59] 58 T'i'tij INVESTIGATIONS may one drink of these waters to prevent his becoming drunk." "61. But let me ask some of your politi- cal economists, Do not these waters dimin- ish your taxes?" They all replied, that 'the greatest por- tion of all the taxes in the respective coun- ties in which we dwell, is expended di- rectly or indirectly on the victims of these waters." i 62. Do they not promote the sanctifica- tion of the Sabbath?" A worthy citizen of Alton replied, that on a Sabbath in August,--just upon the eve of an election, --he had seen, as nearly as he could judge, about seventy-five men and youth in one drinking establishment, engaged in drinking, electioneering, etc. An innumerable multitude of men dressed OF LUNARIUS. 59 in black exclaimed, These tap-rooms are the greatest nurseries of Sabbath desecra- tion in our fallen world." "63. But," let me ask, " do not these wa- ters, nevertheless, all together, and in one way and another, promote a greater amount of happiness to the human family?" Here, again, thirteen venerable Presidents sent up their card to Lunarius, which he read aloud, as follows, namely: - "We are satisfied from observation and experience, as well as from medical testi- mony, that ardent spirits, as a drink, is not only needless, but hurtful, and that the entire disuse of it would tend to promote the health, the virtue, and the happiness of the community. We hereby express our convic- tion that, should the citizens of the United States, and especially the young men, page: 60-61[View Page 60-61] 60 THE INVESTIGATIONS discontinue entirely the use of it, they would not only promote their own personal benefit, but the good of our country, and the world. JAMES MADISON, ANDREW JACKSON, JOHN Q. ADAMS, M. VAN BUREN, JOHN TYTEER, Z. TAYOR, M. FILLMORE, JAMES K. POLK, FRANKLINT PIERCE, JAMES BUCHANAN, ABRAHAM LINCOLN, ANDREW JOHNSON, U. S. GRANT." After a slight pause, Lunarius turned to the ministers of the gospel:- "64. Ye men of God - ye ambassadors from the Prince of Peace to this rebellious race!" said he, "allow me to ask you a few more questions. Do not these waters tend to prepare men for the reception of the gospel?" OF LUNARIUS. 61 Rev. James Gallagher-a distinguished preacher--said, in reply, that " he had often remarked, that when a man takes a glass of these waters in the morning, he is utterly lost to the influence of the gospel for that day.' The other ambassadors all added, "No man ever lays down his arms which he has taken up against the God of heaven, while under the influence of these waters." "65. But do they not promote devotion?" "If devils are the objects of worship," replied the divines, "it may promote devo- tion. But what is to be thought of the presumptuous wretch who attempts to send up to heaven an offering on the breath of Rum " "66. Will it not aid missionaries in, their great work of evangelizing the hea- then?" i page: 62-63[View Page 62-63] ,62 THiSE INVESTIGATIONS Rev.' Jonathan Brainerd, a distingruished missionary among the North American In- dians, replied to this inquiry, that "the propensity of the Indians to strong drink is a great obstacle in the way of their being brought to Christianity. The sin of drunk- enness and the effects of it have given me inexpressible trouble and anxiety of soul since I have been in this business. Although I have done my utmost to represent the evil of it, yet with some it is still prevalent. And our neighbors - the white people - are not a little accessory to it. There is scarcely one of them that has strong drink to sell but will sell it to the Indians, although I have set the evil before them, and ear- nestly besought them not to do it. And some will even buy liquor in public houses and give them, to see if they cannot make Chris- OF LUNARIUS. 6 tia, Indians drink as well as others." - Life, p. 258. "67. Do they not strengthen the power of motives to do right?" The men of God unanimously replied, that all the motives which usually operate to promote virtuous action utterlyfail when a man is under the influence of these intoxi- cating waters. "68. But do they not weaken the power of motives to do wrong?" A man who had spent several years in the penitentiary, for the murder of his own child, arose, aud with tremulous voice and tearful eye, said, "I loved my boy when I was sober, as tenderly as ever a parent loved his child. But under the influence of mad- ness, occasioned by these accursed streams, I killed mychild, -my darling boy, -while page: 64-65[View Page 64-65] " THE INVESTIGATIONS he was exclaiming, 'O my father I you will kill me! you will kill me!' All the men on earth, and devils from the pit, could not have induced me to kill my boy. But these fiery waters induced me to do it." "69. Will they not prepare a man for a dying hour?" As an answer to this question, a para- graph from a paper printed in Alton, in August, 1840, was sent up to Lunarius, which he was requested to read, as follows: "A rumseller died a few weeks since in U. Alton. The disease of which he died was occasioned by the use of the drug which he had so freely administered to others. Just before he died, he seemed to wake up to a sense of his awful condition, and still more awful prospects. He was then in an agony which could not be expressed by words or OF LUNARIUS. 65 actions, and began to call upon God. O m3 God!' he exclaimed, 'Icannot die! Imus not die yet! You know I am not ready t( die. I don't want to die. I am not ready. He asked to be raised up in the bed, anm kept repeating these and similar expres sions. He then clinched his fists, an stretched himself up, as it were to brac himself against the Almighty, and ex claimed, 'O my God, I won't die!' and in mediately fell back and expired. A venei able man of God here exclaimed, with heavy groan, 'Oh, at the LAST it biteth lit a serpent, and stingeth like an adder."' 70. Will it not prepare a man for tl judgment and eternity?" again inquired L narins. The Apostle Paul here arose, and d dared, in the name of the Great King hii J page: 66-67[View Page 66-67] " THE INVESTIGATIONS self, that "the drunkard shall not inherit the kingdom of God." "A drunkard or a drunkard-maker in heaven!" exclaimed a hoary-headed man of God. "The very thought, if I deemed it possible, would make me shudder. Why! the music of that celestial world would cease. The loud-swelling chorus would at once be hushed to silence. Consternation would fill every face. The saints would drop their golden harps and flee away in terror. All heaven would be in an uproar. Anarchy and desolation would pervade the universe of God, and the last hope of fallen man would be supplanted by disappoint- ment and eternal despair. But the veracity of God is pledged that in heaven 'the wicked will cease from troubling. " "71. I understand," said Lunarius, that OF LUNARIUS. 67 sixty thousand drunkards die annually in the United States, and as many more in Great Britain. Would this vast multitude be added every year to the congregation of the damned, and swell the wailings of eter- naldespair, if these waters should cease to flow, and mankind were to cease selling and drinking them?" "If there were no evil tree," replied the * man of God, " there would be no bitter fruits." "72. But will not the use of these waters hasten the millennium?" asked Lunarius. "There will be no drunkards or drunkard- makers in the millennium; 'nothing to hurt or destroy in all God's holy mountain,'" re- plied the man of God. "73. And will drunkenness neve- cease under the whole heaven, so long as men - continue to drink of these streams?" page: 68-69[View Page 68-69] 68 'Hia INVESTIGATIONS "As well may we expect the ocean to dry up, while the rivers continue to run, or the heavens to drop dew," responded the whole vast assembly without one discordant sound. "74. Would the total extinction from the face of your earth of all these intoxicating streams, together with the art of producino them, be a calamity to the human race?" Dr. Paris, in behalf of his profession, re- plied, with great solemnity, that "the art of extracting alcoholic liquors by distillation must be regarded as the greatest curse in- flicted on human nature." "75. Let me ask but one more question," said Lunarius, " which I wish you all duly to consider, and I will relieve your patience. Do the use of these waters, then, produce no conceivable benefit to the estate, body, or OF LUNARIUS. 69 soul of mzan, either inl this world, or that which is to come?" No response was sent up from the vast congregation to this inquiry. A pause - a death-like silence -- ensued. Then I looked, and behold, Lunarius turned aside and wept. He gave vent to his feel- ings in a flood of tears. At length, he re- turned and said, "Respected and worthy friends, excuse the emotion I havebetrayed. It was excited by the painful results of these investigations. I have propounded more than seventy inquiries, covering, as e arly as I can judge, the whole ground that should be embraced withtin the compass of hlumuct,, pur- suit and humzan anzbition. These questions have all been answered with great intelli- gence, frankness, and candor by the assem- bled wisdom and experience and virtue of page: 70-71[View Page 70-71] TiAS INVESTIGATIONS THIS WHOLE WORLD, and the conclusion forces itself with irresistible power upon my mind that these horrible smoky dens, these innumerable black spots upon the sur- face of a dark world, with their multitudinous streams, and endless ramifications, which occupy so much of the attention, the capital, and time and energies of your species, are not only of no use whatever, but a perfectly szperfjuous mischief, a gratuitous evil, with- out one ofset or redeeming quality. . . . " I have surveyed the mighty ruin; and though tears are unknown in the bright orb from whence I came, I could not but weep. To see men made in the image of God, and but a little lower than the angels, thus de- graded below even the reptiles that crawl beneath their feet, I could not repress my feelings of commiseration, of horror, and de- OF LUNARIUS. 71 testation. What foe to God and man has been thus engaged to spoil the noblest work- manship of the Creator? What imp of dark- ness has invented this vast apparatus to work up immortal men to make such dis- gusting beasts ? "'There's sure no man so hates his fellow-men; - It is the work of hell; None but the devil e'er thought of such a plan, So demon-like, so fell!' "Yes,it is the work of the devil, -- Satan's greatest masterpiece, -his metamorphosis by which brutes are made of the best mate- rials, -by means of which, more than any other instrumentality, he keeps up his dark dominion over men. Those dark dens, therefore, were characteristically and truly denominated, by one of your most distin- page: 72-73[View Page 72-73] 72 INVESTIGATIONS OF LUNARIUS. guished preachers of righteousness, 'th, breathing-holes of hell.' "O desperate frenzy! madness of the will! And drunkenness of the heart, that naught can quenoh But floods of woe!' "I bless my God that there are no rail. ways, or steam-power, by which these fata streams can be conducted, or electro-mag. netic telegraph, by which the art of making them can be conveyed to my own beautiful and hitherto happy world!" Lunarius could add no more. Over- whelmed and disgusted, and his very heart's blood chilled within him at the informatiou he had received, and the scenes he had wit- nessed, he suddenly spread his broad silver pinions, and, swifter than the eagle's flight, soared away toward his native orb. i
