Mr. Winkfield
page: 0 (TitlePage) [View Page 0 (TitlePage) ]MR. WINKFIELD. A NOVEL. 'NEW-YORK: THE AMERICAN NEWS COMPANY. 1866. 1)10 .2 page: 0[View Page 0] (:P ENTRIED, according to Act of Congress, In the year 1866, by L. M. OSBORN, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for the Southern District of New-York. I thIlr' fc fth ititcuto' NEW emotions filled the bosom of young Wink- field. Like a high-spirited chicken at the com- pletion of the hatching process, he felt an impa- tient desire to burst out upon and astonish the world. So he put himself on a train of the rail- road which connected his native village in Massa- chusetts with foreign countries. The sense of bereavement at the death, a year before, of his grandmother, his sole relative with the excep- tion of an uncle, nature had wisely supplanted with unusual thoughts of activity; and his pro- found abstractions upon the science of human nature would now acquire the little requisite, which they only lacked to make them of im- mense value,- the substitution of real men and things for those of the imagination. We here take occasion to hope that no author's weakness for fine writing or sensational effect, no attempt at engaging the critical world, however pardona- ble, will swerve us from faithfully following him in his varied attrition with human and other ani- mals. We shall feel amply repaid if we secure for him the appreciation of the discerning, and we think he will be found-though somewhat ec- centric in his sentiments and singular in his per- son-to be of the stuff heroes are made of, a great deal less foolish than Thaddeus of War. saw, and a great deal more conscientious than the pious Eneas. Mr. Winkfield took the usual naps, refresh- ments, and observations, on the day's travel to- ward New-York. Alive to any illustrations of the principles of his favorite study-the philoso. phy of human nature-he noted many little inci- dents, and one which occurred toward the com- pletion of his journey, we give here. At South- Dibbletown station, in Connecticut, a little man entered the car, looking about him with such a complacent air, that it seemed, if he was not of' any importance there, or anywhere else, he at least had the satisfaction of feeling so. In fact, this little man was starting out from Dibbletown ready to do heroic any thing--any thing which would fur- ther increase the admiration of his fellow-Dibble- towners. So, as the train approached the suburbs of New-York, being led to mistake the character of a person who entered the car and took the seat be- side him-a clergyman of that class who appear able to bear much more on their minds than on their stomachs-and taking him for one of those impostors or confidence men so frequently heard of and talked about by the quid nuns of his na- tive town, he undertook to arrest him, thus to furnish " matter of talk " to them, like Alcibiades to the Athenians. Moses overheard a part of the conversation which ensued between these two worthies. The clergyman was about commencing it, as lie seated himself, when the little man at once start- ed off in a diverting voluntary upon the various subjects of the weather, his own circumstances and intentions, the beauty and grandeur of his native village, and the exemplary virtues of his various relatives and ancestors to the twenty- fifth remove. The clergyman paid attention to all this, but when the little man had exhausted himself, briefly replied that a man, no matter how agreeably surrounded, "had better pay his debts if he wished to be honored in society !" The lit- tle man was about to seek an explanation of this singular remark, when the clergyman went on to classify the manifold debts and duties of each and every dweller upon the footstool, to wit, as a being, as a human being, as a member of so- ciety, of a profession, as a husband, as a father, etc., anI, finally, as "a sheep." "As a what ?" ejaculated the little man. "In using that term, I wished to designate one as a member of a fold, of some religious flock, my friend," replied the other solemnly. Here he revealed his profession, and stated his implicit confidence in the.right to ask for any thing, of any body, anywhere, for its sake. "Undoubtedly a fanatic !" thought the little man. "And you, of course, have heard of our great Simms Memorial project ?" inquired the clergy- man earnestly. " What ? No, sir, I have not," answered the little man, The clergyman stated it. It certainly seemed a beneficial charity, the proposed erection of a new church in the suburbs of New-York ; and with enthusiasm glittering in his eye, he gave a pleasing poignance to his remarks by stating that MR. WINKFIELD. CHAPTER I. WINKFIELD RESOLVES, AND PROCEEDS TO EXECUTE HIS RESOLUTION. page: 4-5[View Page 4-5] 11 he wanted the sum of twenty-five dollars from diction again: he hasn't in his mind any church the other in its aid. In consideration thereof or even any place to put one !)" the latter would be made a life-trustee of the "Ehi I didn't say so. new church. "You did." "I have the papers in my carpet-bag, my friend, Why, no, sir," replied the clergyman, some- creaingyousuc," ontnue 0he what affected by the little mnan's excited mariner. creating you such, continued he. u jcwa "In your carpet-bag repeatedtd the astonished " I couldn't have done so. I said our project was little man. likely to be- * 1 " Yes. I invented this expeditious method "Very well. Never mind eplanations. That's myself. The certificates are bought already made enough, said the little man brefy. nough." out, and then the names of the buyers are in- Here he breathed very hard, and looked for a -serted; and by endorsement, they become trans- moment at Moses across the passage-way. ferable, sir. Our object is to introduce them as Would you like to look at the certificates- a kind of circulating medium." asked the clergyman holding them out to him. "As a circulating medium! By heaven !" "No, sir ; I would not," replied he turning "Yes; but of course we reserve the right to again to the clergyman. refuse admittance to the vestry-meetings to any Then you will not take one ?" holder who is not respectable, or will be likely to "No, sir;I will not," said he. create a disturbance. We receive the money at The persevering clergyman looked about hni once for a great many in this way. It is a noble at the other passengers. There was a good op- plan to save time and labor; very noble !" portunity beside a gentleman a few steps back, " Hum, I should think so," muttered the little and he at once transferred himself to the vacant man sarcastically. "But how much do you ex- seat beside the latter. The little man followed pect to raise in this way ?" continued he. him with his eyes, keeping those organs upon- " Oh! about a hundred thousand dollars above him incessantly, and he presently rose himself, what we have by bequest," replied the confiding moved near, and paused. The clergyman was clergyman. - having some difficulty in explaining i ts applica- " But, look here-there will be four thousand tion to the other, who was a German tourist, with trustees of the church according to this, my evidently an insuperable ignorance of the Ame - man ", can language. - The..sll mn procreedd to the "Very true; still there will be no fear of their exterior of the car, and continued his watch all attending the vestry-meetings at once, you through the door. From thence he returned know." restlessly to his seat, and took occasion to invi- The little man felt of his pocket-book, and gorate himself with a flask from his carpet-bag buttoned his coat tightly. while the train was passing through the tunnel. (" By Jove! this is a little too transparent!) He contmued his vigilance, but heroically con- Ha! ha! Very well. Do you intend to insure cealed the thoughts which were agitating him, the structure?" continued he presently with an until the cars rolled into thedepot-yard upon idle air. Fourth Avenue. The clergyman here returned " Oh ! yes; the policy of insurance was settled to emerge from the car. As he came by, the at the very commencement." little man rose. He suddenly placed his hand in " What! Insurance companies don't take the former's vravat. 1ie twisted it around for a risks on buildings before erection !" short moment, and then commenced to drag him 1I know it." toward the door. The passengers, Moses among " What is this policy you have had issued to others, jumped back confusedly. The clergy- you, then 9' man wvas entangled in their legs, and a throttled "Eh 9 We haven't any policy." noise escaped from his throat. The door was "What did you say-you had one for, then ?" open. The little man pulled him energetically "I-I didn't." without, and by a culminating jerk of great force "You did, (by heaven, he's confused!)" said landed hir supine upon the floor of the depot the little man. "Didn't you say there was a pol- porch. icy settled at the commencement Formang Form a ring I" said the hack- "Oh ! yes; I see. I meant, you know, the pro- men upon the porch, with a business air, and priety, the policy of having the building insured, pushing each other back in a circle around the the-" .clergyman. "1Very well, very well," continued the little The little man stepped back surrounded by man with increased shortness. others of the crowd, and excitedly wiped his brow. " I think, upon examination, you will approve There was much pushing and changing from one of the design. Our noble plan strikes every one; to the other of the actors. and we have a fine prospect, a fine prospect.P' "What is the natter' asked the crowd. continued the clergyman, after a pause, rubbing "The matter! Why, an impostor, gentlemen, his hands. raising money on bQgrus religious certificates, "Undoubtedly; and when it is completed, the whom I felt it my duty to arrest. He attempted it building will be a splendid towering monument on me and another passenger, a foreigit gentleman: of your perseverance, eli ? They'll now see in Dibbletown whether such "9Not so much splendid as elegant, kind friend. games can be played on me ." replied the little The flatness of its situation, you know, near the man in triumph. Central Park, led us to invite the element of The inexperienced Moses was involved inex- beauty before sublimity." tricablydwithin an inch of the little man's nose. " Oh ! ha ! ha ! Then you haven't a fine "And you sat oppost to 'dme ade saw ourm view, after all," said the little man vehemently, maneuver with his papers ?" said th atrtu " What did you say you had one for ? (Contra- hero. "Yes; I overheard some of his remarks," re plied Moses. "If it be really as you think, w must, while pitying him, sir, admire both you generous purpose in defending society, and th( promptness of decision which you have--" Hooray I Dry up !" interrupted the crowd promptly putting a stop to Moses's remarks, an at once squeezing in facetious concert, both him and the little man, very severely. In sympathetic alarm the two were ready to swear eternal friend ship, and did succeed in exchanging addresses Moses being adopted as a corroborative witness in the absence of the German gentleman, who had run away with lightning speed at the inception of the difficulty, under the influence of European ideas of American manners. ", He's not an impostor. I know him !" here cried a gentleman in the crowd with an embossed nose, who had caught sight of the clergyman. "It's the Rev. Adrunse Botts. My cousin, Jim Sampson, had a wife or two buried from his church in Carminy Street, and I see him there on them occasions"1 ,I " Eh, not ar impostor! Ha,.ha!I That is pretty good " said thestrugglinglittle man, with the air of a man astonished at such a thing being doubted, but for a moment thereafter he certainly appeared to be laboring under that impression himself. " Here comes the poltis," roared several voices. At this announcement, the little man started. "By the way, my valise," said he, with a suddenly hurried air. "You just tell the policeman I've stepped for my carpet-bag," continued he to Moses. " Certainly," said the amiable Moses. In the seething of the crowd he disappeared to seek for the carpet-bag. - The policemen arrived and shook the clergyman by the collar. "I've been robbed !" feebly cried the latter, feeling alarmedly for his certificates. "He has been accused of being a confidence man, policeman I" said Moses, feeling a pity for the prostrate gentleman, "and some unnecessary force, perhaps, was-" "Who accused him, you ?" asked the police- man shortly. S 'Ohl no, a friend-that is, a gentleman, who-". "Itan't no such thing. It is pickpockets, policeman," interrupted the sympathizer with the embossed no*e, looking sinisterly at MoseS. "They've been robbing of him, and trying' to cover it up by beatin' of him, and sayin' he is a confidence-man." A renewed commotion here appeared in the mob. It dissolved and re-formed like a small chaos agitated by a new principle. It had dis- covered-the absence of the little man, and by one of its mysterious instincts felt he did not intend coming back again. 'There was a couple, and this is one of the two," suggested the owner of the nose. "If yez count the little chap as one, this one is twohout .of the three, byjabers !" exclaimed an Irishman, who had been struck with Moses's noble length of limb. "I didn't. I am not," exclaimed Moses in impulsive indignation.: " Hum. A pal, is he ? Where's t'other ?"' asked thme policeman. . " Cut his lucky, policeman. This one handed him a card, and told him to run for it. We see him. Take them air saddle-bags off your nose. e How air you, four eyes? Hooray, long-legs !" r roared various individuals. e Notwithstanding his astonishment, Moses cast a look of dignity and scorn upon the crowd at these feeble witticisms. But this lent the latter d what pnt they had, and seemed to be consider- ed by the crowd themselves a much better joke c than any they could make, for their laughter be- - came much louder at it. "Very well. A case of counter-charge. I can't tell which it is, 'specially this one," said I the policeman, scrutinizing Moses. "What do you know about it ?' asked he of the divine. " I don't know," replied the helpless clergy- man, still wool-gathering. "My certificates-" Here Moses and the policeman were obliged to I dodge a turnip and what appeared to be a piece of a cat thrown in their direction. "Do you permit such things as this ?" asked Moses of the policeman with dignity. " Hey ? That won't do, young man. It won't do at all," replied the policeman with sudden de- cision. "I guess you can come along with me. Perhaps you had better make a fool of a police- sergeant, who's been one for three years and more. You can come along with me. Come along I" roared he ferociously, collaring the verily astonished Moses, "and let the judge settle it I" " Eh? What do you mean by this, policeman? I haven't done any thing," exclaimed the latter, refusing to stir, with his coat half pulled over his head. "I1am a stranger. I-I-call upon the small man. If there are any passengers her-" " I'll take him, Spanks," said another police- man who had arrived. " You take t'other one." Expostulation was of no use xvith the faithful guardians, though the reviving raiser of church funds appeared as much indisposed to submit to the proceedings as Moses. They were trotted off together. An energetic ,atfempt was made by Moses to address the crowd about him, as the policeman would not listen to him, and an idiotic imitation was instituted toward the remainder by the bewildered clergyman; but they were both ineffectual from their brevity. Tie policemen urged them at excessive speed down, the street toward that illustrious seat of justice, the Jeffer- son court-house, and a roaring, whobping crowd followed them in ecstasies of delight. The whole procession, for the purpose of shortening the way, tore through a corner grocery, kept by an astound. ed and disgusted German. The clergyman again took leave of his senses at the corner of Sixth Avenue and Tenth street, and our hero was hav- ing unpleasant premonitions of a similar proceed- ing upon his part, when they arrived at the just- ice's court-room of the fourteenth district. It was in this way Moses entered the city. Thus had he, at the very outset of his journey of phi- losophic observation, become suddenly involved in one of those curious and almost inscrutable incidents of human life, which so often surprise the tracer of the hidden chain of cause and effect. Yet under these circumstances his natural bene- volence continued undiminished, and we doubt if the reader will find it otherwise even under others to be recounted in these a which were trying enough to drive a common mind to an incurable insanity, or inaugurate a deep- seated malignity for life. MR. WINKPIELD. 4 MR. INKFIELD. page: 6-7[View Page 6-7] 0 MR. WIN CHAPTER II. MoSE NAB AN OPPORTUNITY OP ODRAVING A STRIt- ING INSTANCE OF JUDICIAL GRANDEUR. A SHORT BUT VINE PIECE OF REASONING. Tna Jefferson Market police court is said to be a favorite dwelling-place of Justice, and it seems very likely, if we suppose the olfactory organs of the goddess are as deficient as her vision. Judge Pootoops's ideas of the administration of the law, like those which Numa derived from his secret nymph in the grove, seemed by their very origi- nality to be inspired. n his decisions he was, no doubt, in invisible consultation with Themis. There is no easier way of accounting for his ex- traordinary wandering and gazes into vacancy in some cases, or his velocitous decisions in others, unless, to speak very plainly, by setting him down as an ass. Were this latter the case, we might here make it our object to show how abstraction- ists of human nature like our hero may be some- times mistaken in a practical application of their ideas, not so much from being fools themselves, according' to the belief of many, as from coming in contact with people who are. Still this would undoubtedly look to those who know Judge Poo- toops, like distorting the truth to show discouttesy So we prefer to report the incidents of Moses's examination, and let the reader draw from them whatever lesson he pleases. The justice had been seated in his court-room full an hour previous to the customary evening session of the day, in company with his constable or clerk. We mention his habit of expending the most of his.leisure time locked therein, to in timate not merely the studious retirement demand ed by his position as judge, but also his sensitive unwillingness to obtrude himself upon those witi whom he had a hopeless diversity of opinion Such a diversity chronically existed between hin and his landlady upon the subject of his boar bill, and he wisely took this method of avoidin[ unnecessary contact with her. He was attired it a flannel dressing-gown, thus resembling, in sQm measure, the picturesque presentment of an Ame rican Indian chief, and was meditating with som feeling no doubt upon the above matter; while his friend and constable was contorting himsel with a needle in hardy endeavors to repair a ren in the rear of his habiliments, when the trampin noise of Moses's terrible escort was heard below and immediately the stair-ease leading to th court-room resounded with dreadful scufflinC stamping and human cries. The constable starte up and the judge turned pale from association ideas. As the door was cautiously opened by th former, a great rush was made upon him. Th two prisoners had been temporarily thrust int the adjoining station-house, and the court-root was now filled with the crowd, -as uickly as vacuum exposed to the access of !soda wat under a pressure of an unusual number of poun to the square inch, and with a species of the sam effervescing noise. Fighting, squeezing and vil fication took place, and it was not until the justit had recovered from three attacks of board-bill ve tigo in the private room 10 which he had recreate that the majority of the crowd had pushed othe from their seats and arranged themselves. Ti whistling and eat-calls were promptly suppress by the indignant constable, as the re-assurt [KFIELD. judge finally appeared, took his seat, and leaned his brow upon his hand. An impressive silence ensued. "Silence!" roared the constable. The official-hour had arrived, and the justice opened the session for the examination of the day's offenders. A negro was introduced and sent back committed for having gone into a strange room, like the sweet south o'er a bank of violets, and two intoxicated sailors for fighting each other and peaceable citizens on the highways. Thejudge began to feel from the unappeased state of the audience that a very unusual offense against the lawa had been committed, perhaps, of a deeply atrocious nature. The door of the adjoining sta- tion-house opened again, and the Rev. Mr. Adri- ance was brought in by the sergeant and a police- man, with his head sunk in his shoulders, and ap- pearing generally a mass of something indefinite. " Ha I the corpse !" cried the judge, starting. "Where is the accused? Let the accused be brought in I" The policeman packed the clergy- man into an arm-chair, and while one of them was attempting to disabuse the mind of the court as to the nature of the case, the station-house door again opened and our hero was shoved violently - into the room by unseen parties. As he turned , his indignant organs of vision toward his pro- pellers, the door was slammed again, and with this want of ceremony, was Moses's first official introduction to the presence of the great Themis completed. The policeman ramblingly stated what he did e not knowabout the case, but what he thought might have been, and then a somewhat disagreeable - silence ensued. The judge stared inquiringl'y at - the policeman the policeman looked at the con- e stable, the constable gazed at the audience, and h the audience at our hero. The latter, like the . person at the end of a chain of electrical experi- menters, felt the accumulated force of the whole d on himself. In addition to this, the constable's g attention here becoming wholly absorbed by a n person in the audience, whom he had detected e in laughing and showing other irrepressible signs - of amusement at him, the wheels of justice seem- e ed to be stopping altogether. The hesitation of e proceedings might have been indefinitely con- f tinued, had not Moses recovered his presence of t mind.. . g "May it please your honor, sir," said he, re- K, spectfully to the judge, "it is with unfeigned e feelings of mingled as-" g, "Silence I Wait tillyou're asked I How dare d you address the court ?" cried the constable, en- of ergetically forcing his indignant gaze from the e spectator who was smiling at him toward Moses. e "Silence !" o "I respect the laws of my country and its au- m thorities, and I therefore cheerfully obey you," a replied Moses. er "I .guess so, I guess so," said the constable, ds "and let me tell every one in this court, that the ne rules of the court will be enforced. Silence ii- roared he, reverting his gaze severely toward the ce smiling maiimn1the audience. r- " Constable, conscience appears to have already d, made an impression upon the offender," said te rs judge majestically. ",He may proceed. Pro- he ceed with your confession, pi-isoner i". ed " But I am not an offender," cried Moses, his ed anger getting the better of his judgment, "and MR. WINKFIELP. as to being a prisoner, I would like to know by "The lamented Simms, one of the most spotless what right you or any other man can authorize and wealthy of our little flock in Carminy street, such infamous proceedings as have-" sir, dying of brain fever, left, by nuncupatory be- * "Oh ! bah I" said the judge looking at the con- quest, to that flock, the charge of an infant stable.- "Take him below. Take what money granddaughter, and the remainder of the Simms lie has from his person, and make a careful de- property, for the purpose of spreading the good scription of his weapons" news-" Decision is a cardinal virtue, and particularly "Stop! That is, go on !" here said the judge adapted to the judicial conduct, and this rapid ar- with some vehemence. "This spotless Simms- rival at it moved Moses's admiration to such a what sex ?" degree, as to induce him to engage here in a " A sister, my kind friend, and-" short fight with the sergeant, and to "make frantic " There it is! just as I expected!" said the gesticulations of appeal to the judge, in ba de- judge, making a rapid note with an incidental sire to stay, and express it. When the noise of appearance of triumph over the case. "I shall his involuntary exit was hushed, the judge issued get at the whole in a few ininutes now.'4 an order to have him brought back agaia-coun- At this sign of the court's sudden interest the termanded it, and then directed the semi-revived clergyman, with increased ardor, proceeded with clergyman to Se further shaken, that he might his chronology. The infant had been properly recount his knowledge of the events of the after- vaccinated, put out to nurse and lost in a retired noon, and more particularly account for the sad Western village, and the vestry of his flock had pickle in which he presented himself before the determined to devote the entire property to con- dignity of the court. verting the indigent Catholic heathen residing in "My kind'friend," commenced the clergyman,- the suburbs of the Central Park, by the erection somewhat recovered from his fright, "you have of a mission chapel there. On that very after- kindly permitted me to make a few remarks upon noon he himself, as chairman of the committee this occasion, which, however unimportant the on subscription, while applying to a stranger on source whence they emanate, may still, perhaps, the New-Haven railroad in the discharge of his be thought to bear so much of-" duty, had been assaulted and choked by him, " D-n it ! shorter I Cut it short!" said the and,.in the confusion of the moment, the malig- judge impatiently. nant creature had escaped, while he himself; be- " Yes, sir, I will endeavor, with great plea- coming senseless, had been brought to the court sure." in company with the person below, of whose com- " Hold! wait!" cried the judge, with sudden plicity in the matter he was entirely unable to calm. ."Constable, I was guilty just now of judge, except from his looks, which might appear using improper language and swearing in this somewhat mystical. During this concise recital court. Constable, I fine myself five dollars I the justice took notes. When the reverend Record the fine, and let the case proceed I" - gentleman paused he looked up. - "My friend and - worthy magistrate," con- "I see you sympathize with us, sir," con- tinued the clergyman amid the applause of the tinued the revived clergyman. "I find I have audience, "I will be as-" some certificates of membership with me and " Hold! wait !" cried the judge again. "As will now receive your subscription, sir, if it is the offense is an unusual one, constable, the pay. handy; and also of _the intelligent audience, nient of the fine may be remitted !" which I--" A general expression of admiration arose in "What is that, ch ?"said the judge. "What the court, and the judge, in increased magisterial do you say?" grandeur, authoritatively commanded the clergy- "A subscription of seventy-five dollars, sir,' man to proceed sharply and to the point. . continued the enthusiastic divine, "will insure "I will endeavor, with great pleasure, my the erection of a tombstone to your memory to friend and magistrate, to be as brief as you may be placed in the rear wall of the edifice!" desire," recommenced the latter; " but I am sure "What ?" said the judge. that even as the deepest crimina who has ever "The beat talent of the church is intended to souht mercy from your bowels, which, I am be devoted to the composition of epitaphs for conyinced, have always listened to the---" these as they may be demanded," explained the " What do you mean by that ?" said the fervent clergyman, "and I am sure the grateful judge, with renewed irritation. 'IWhat do you recollection of your munificence and your quali- mean by my bowels listening ? Confine yourself ties as a magistrate will-" to facts; that is your business here. Let there " Constable," said the court, "take charge of be no unnecessary allusions !" this person. If he opens his mouth again, take " Yes, yes I )Quite true !" said the clergy- him below and incarcerate him. Tombstones I man hastily. "And to revert to our subject, I'll-but I've made up my mind. Let the other mny kind friend, there is a sweet savor in such a person be recalled. This case can be finished at desire. 'A moment unmarked, ere eternity be once. Call him up !" reached, may fix us in such an unchangeable The system of reliefs which was about being state that-" established between the occupants of the front " Look here, if you don't confine yourself to seats and parties in the rear of the audience was facts I will send you below; that's all!" said the abandoned at this unexpected announcement. judge, increasing in ire. "I want no aphor. The most of the spectators stood up, and, as the isms 1 ease was a sensational failure after all, were mak- (" Alas, the disdain of the sinner and perishing ing a great shuffling and noise to revenge them- being I I would prepare his mind for a sweet selves therefor, when our hero was again brought subscription !) Yes, I will proceed chironologi- into the presence of the curt. cally then," continued the clergyman aloud. " My men I" gai the jug "whether yon 7 page: 8-9[View Page 8-9] 'I 8 MR. WIN. are to be considered offenders, or witnesses in this case, the principal person in it has run away. I shall discharge you both, consequently. And- what is the matter, constable?" "Your honor, I hope you will keep order in this court," said the latter. " Ever since this here session commenced the constable of this court has been the subject of the constant con- tempt of some-soap-fat man present here. I know it? Let him deny it if he can!" " I'll fine him presently. Let there be no un- due levity here ! Fellow-citizens, there is no- thing in this case which calls for remark, but its illustration of a maxim which I think I have al- luded to before in this court, and which I have come to the conclusion ought to be incorporated as a fundamental principle of the law. The maxim is, that 'in every piece of mischief you will find a woman at the bottom.' There is but a short chain of cause and effect between the in- sane female who originally incited this reverend gentleman to this plan of a church, by donating to him her property,.and the present predica- ment in which he is placed. If the lamented Simms hadn't given you the nest-egg for a church, Mr. Minister, you wouldn't have com. menced a church; if you hadn't commenced a church, you wouldn't be going about soliciting subscriptions from imbeciles in cars; if you hadn't solicited a subscription from the one in the Harlem car, you would not have been suffo- cated by him, or been here, nor the other party either I" Our hero had had time to collect himself be- low, and his ideas of injury and injustice had given place to a determination to appeal more calmly to the authorities upon his detention. In satisfaction he now fixed his gaze upon the ma- gistrate's brow. He seemed endeavoring to descry within the physical working of the powers which produced this profound piece of ratio- cination. Expressions of deep interest were also plainly observable upon numerous of the specta- tors, and even the clergyman now stared con- fusedly at the learned judge. There were no more cases, and the constable was ordered to incontinently clear the court-room. The learned court here betook itself to its pri- vate room. The constable glared at the sniliug spectator, who was leaving with the rest of the audience, and while the clergyman, flourishing his certificates, was frantically endeavoring to procure that functionary's assistance in stopping the departing crowd, our hero took occasion to disappear also. CHAPTER II. WHILE AWAITING THE, ARRIVAL OF HIS UNCLE MR. EFFINGHAM TOPLADY, MOSES ENJOYS THI SOCIETY OF THE HOTEL. THIS work, properly considered, ought to b held as strictly philosophical. Some reader may laugh, but what of that? We have knowi the writings of some of the most serious author upon the most momentous subjects, which hay caused every one who read them to laugh cor sumedly from beginning to end. But that is n reason why the serious import of a work shoul not be respected. The emotion of levity, in fac p MR. WINKFIELD. rE 9 is said by some philosophers to be merely a mix- ed one, resulting from the presence and contest of two or more of the serious emotions. Is it the subject, then, of any work, or the author's treatment of any subject, which causes it in the reader ? No. It plainly depends upon the abil- ity of the reader himself to entertain more than one serious emotion at a time upon his diaphragm. If he is of a weak,-unnerved disposition, he will laugh. If he is firm, strong, and thorough-braced, he will proceed rationally from the beginning to the end of his perusal, and rise so much the wiser therefrom by having thoroughly imbibed the true 'eiritof the work, instead of was g his time in idle titillation of his lighter being. Having started out with the sound assump- tion that the most subtle and powerful springs of man's nature are as frequently played upon in the ordinary intercourse of civilized beings of this age and country as in that of any other, we have proposed to observe such inci- dents in the adventures of our hero and his co- temporaries as will illustrate the principles of this great science; and while we shall endeavor to leave no incident untouched upon, which forms a necessary link of action, we shall not hesitate to devote the space which is usually occupied by mere microscopic narration of dry events in works of a less philosophical tone, to such reflec- tions as our hero or others may make, even upon subjects which may not be strictly akin to the topic of the moment. Such, for instance, as the moral right of jockeys to dock horses' tails, or of belligerents to dock neutrals' heads, etc., etc., so intense is our sympathy with him for, general science. While experiencing his short legal durance, and reflecting upon the cards of address accompany- ing the frequent baskets of fruit and preserves,, dispatched by his uncle .to his grandmother, Moses had pictured in his mind that uncle, Mr. Effingham Toplady, seated reading in his parlor at the Evercroft House, all unconscious of his own trouble or propinquity. Upon eaching the hotel, he discovered that his relative was tempo- rarily absent at a country water-cure. "If there be any thing to be done for you, however," remarked the pleasing clerk, "you need no prophetic soul, sir-a quotation excusa- ble from its aptness-to point out our proprietor as your uncle, ha! ha! Will your stay be long or short ? Or, perhaps, sir, you may divide your sojourn into two periods, and have a pair of stays, ha! ha! You will excuse the remark from its point, sir !" Moses smiled benevolently at the playful yet courteous spirit of the gentleman, and apprised him of the uncertainty of his plans. Thereupon the affable clerk, still pursuing his playful course, proposed to put him into a seven by ten chamber, with a sky-light, in the fifth story. But Moses,. promptly considering that the humor of the joke would consist chiefly in refusing to be placed e there, was finally put into a commodiousparlor s with an inner bedroom, upon the second floor, n and pleasantly adjacent to a man with the gout, s by whose scientific swearing he might be divert- e ed at almost any hour of the day. Thus agree- t- ably domiciled, Moses's reflections naturally turn- o ed for a while upon his advent tdott 1populous d world around him. But as it is said tha tewir t, does most, who gives his reader the most know- ledge and takes from him the least time, we wi merely mention the apothegm which wound u his meditations, that "in virtue alone lies tru happiness," and proceed with our narration. The first objects which attracted his attention both as a philosopher and as a man, were natu rally those which were immediately surroundin him. He felt the infinity of the fields of specu lation and amusement, when he saw that h could be entertained for over an hour at dinner solely by conjectures upon the character of th person who sat opposite to him. Even the stud of the end of that person's nose, in the variou ramifications of the sciences necessary to explai the causes of its shape, tissues, or color, coul furnish a meditative mind with occupation for. month. The color of it solely would bring before him the whole science of optics, the fine art o painting, and the mesthetic knowledge of th various wines in favor at the present day. T classify facts and educe general principles there from, is no small job to the unstudious mind, bu so habituated was our hero to analogies, tha such work was rathet-instinctive than the labori ous bending of attention. So, for instance, ho immediately began to observe a resemblance be tween the character of his vis-a-vis and that withi whichUlysses's men were endowed by the kind attention of the siren Circe. In two and a half days he became habituated to the semi-public life of the hotel, and even began to create some sensation. Like a man upon a pinnacle,'though a little dizzy with hi eminence, he thus secured an immediate oppor tunity of surveying human peculiarities. In fact so popular was his affability, which possessed the charm of being real, that the unanimity of ad mirers had but two exceptions. These were a young lady in blue, of seventeen, who objected in secret despondency to his appellation - what illusion would there be in saying beneath the softened chandelier of a retired alcove, " Dearest Moses !" and the other was the principal beau of the establishment, who felt a violent desire to wipe out the new-comer by a short conversation- al encounter, and at the same time a painful con- sciousness of his inability to do it. Upon the third evening of his domicile, Moses found himself seated after dinner upon a sofa between two lady residents of the hotel, with whomhe was' promised an agreeable hour's inter- course. One was a widow with a large fortune, the other a single lady with a moderate one. The former was ornamented, according to the fashion of the day, with a tia-a serving as the bier of the golden effigy of a defunct lap-dogy, the other with, a monster butterfly perched upon a gemmed roost. After a series of courteous smiles and graceful contortions upon the part of all three, a conversation ensued, which we have selected from many more brilliant ones he took part in, because it is brief, and moreover because it is our duty to chronicle matters which are not so much captivating to the public, as instructive to our hero. "Is it not delightful, Miss Stacy," said the widow lady to the other, "to have one so fresh as our young friend to entertain us ?--and so talented as I understand lhe is !" " Indeed, it is so. But although he must suc- cumb to the charms of your society, Louisa," replied the single lady, Miss Stacy, with an air illI of archness; "you must not monopolize him p dearest!" ,o h C " My dear Julia, how can you accuse me of that ?" said the other reproachfully; "justice n, alone would lead me to respect the right to which i- your address has entitled you." g 4Address 1" said the fair Miss Stacy, looking i- askance at Moses. e " Certainly, address in securing h'im. I men- r, tion it thus openly to Mr. Winkfield, Julia, for e this talent of yours deserves to be known." y "Ali! indeed, I thank yon very muhi bui s perhaps I am wrong, my dearest Louisa, in shar- i ing his society with you. Gentlemen's society d has been so unfortunately a void to you lately I" a "What are they driving at ?" said Moses to c himself. "This is a very extraordinary conver- f sation r' o " Really, do not display your magnanimity so o soon, Julia," replied the lively Mrs. Plummer. .- "r, Winkficld may do you an injustice, per- t haps, by attributing to your heart that which is t due solely to your intellect." - "In-deed'!" responded the other. I am so e happy to see, Mrs. Plummer, that you can discern - so well mind in others. Next to the possession of intellect, is certainly the appreciation of it." I They don't seem to be addressing me at all I" observed the astonished Moses to himself. I " And fortune has favored you, Julia, With both ; not only with a lofty intellect," continued Mrs. Plummer, "but a still loftier appreciation S of it." - "My dear Louisa, it is easy to fail in being either witty or good-natured by trying to be both. Dear friend, when my qualities are the subject of - your thoughts, I would neither have the brilliance with which you should be inspired lost in ill- temper nor the good nature in stupidity." " I-ladies," said Moses. " Ahem-to change that subject then, my dear Julia, as it is perhaps uninteresing, and to amuse f Mr. Winkfield, suppose you now sing your song 9" continued Mrs. Plummer, as Moses was about opening his mouth. "I am determined those rude operatic people up-stairs, who said it was fortunate you knew but one, shall hear it again and again, until they retract their jealous reniark or leave the house. You shall triumph over them, my dear Julia." At these remarks, Moses observed immediately in front of his face, a frantic desire upon the part of the butterfly to insert his feelers into the brains of the poodle. He was about to insist with a mixture of gallantry and concern upon the plea- sure of hecaringr the charming Stacy, when she herself interposed. " How cold it is here, my dear Mr". Plummer" said she. " Won't you have smy shawl? Think of a cough entailed Upon you at yos age !" "Eli! Oh 10no; I will not deprive you of. it, my dear Julia-Miss Stacy. Oh! 110-11 11a i ha! No-really-ahem. Ha ! ha! You have really no idea how much improvement your figure derives from having something, in fact- thrown over it V" The confused Moses was still staring stupidly at their head-dresses, nd lie here imagined lh saw an alarming futy in the butterfly, wvbile an insane expression of malignant hatred alppeared to settle upon the lincamenits of the lap-dog. "Really, this is singular I They have apparent- Ir v-rkxr TV ' KIEI - page: 10-11[View Page 10-11] MR. WINKFIELD. ly forgotten all about me," thought he. "I have no chance to join in, occasionally even. I -I-ladies--" , "Excuse me. One moment, Louisa !" here whispered Miss Stacy to her friend. "Adjust your hair, the back locks are coming off. Let me arrange them for youV" " Thank you, never mind. By the way, Julia, what a pity it is the fashion of the Chilian ladies in covering the face also, with their shawls, has not been introduced here. It would be so be- coming to you, dear Julia !" "Aih I speaking of the Chilian ladies l" said Moses, in some haste, desperately grasping at this opportunity. "They-" " Excuse me, one moment, Pardon me if I was a little inattentive, Louisa. But I was really admiring your teeth," here interrupted the other again, having feigned a momentary abstraction. "The set you are wearing to-night are indeed beautiful. Who made then? Are they from Parmer or Trenely " I "Heavens! I-I-44-bt do you know, my dearest Stacy," gasped th6 other wildly, like one losing her senses, "I must insist upon your ceas- ing to take that cordial for your complexion! Dr. Sterling says that it certainly is composed chiefly of an obnoxious berry, the juniper and--" " Ma-am!"' said the other. They -here arose, to Moses's culminated aston- ishment, excused themselves hastily, and, leaving him quite unregarded upon the sofa, rapidly pro- ceeded from the room together, as if actuated by some similar and very powerful motive. So great was his confusion at this rapid termination of the intercourse, in which he had not been able to make a single remark, that he followed them dis- tractedly into the hall, from which he observed them disappearing into a small parlor on its op- posite side and closing the door after thdm. Now although he was well versed in the science of human nature, he did not know that persons of strong sensibilities, especially females who have been disappointed in having any one to love, may sometimes prefer the truly thrilling ecstasy of hate to the quiet placidity of mere friendship, and may chronically seek to afford each other a mutual opportunity of indulging in that ferveit passion. , And if he had known it, he probably would not have applied the principle to the present case. On the contrary, he pre- ferred the equally tenable theory that they were much attached to each other, and were only a little eccentric in their method of showing it. Of course it was especially natural for them to manifest much impatience of each other's scorn. when they at bottom ardently prized each other's friendship. Therefore, as to any sounds of thumping, scratching, and subdued respiration which he may or may not have heard subsequent ly 9mainating from the small parlor, if they ar not to be referred to a dramatic intensification o the sane principle, they may at least be consider ed as the hallucination of his excited mind. H( was not positive about it, nor was he positive either, on their emerging from the room, which lie shortly saw them do and go up-stairs, that th head-dres of one was torn in slits, or that th butterfly hiad disappeared with his perch an' some hair from the head of the other. lIe wa only po-itive that lie thought he saw it, and we of course, have no right to assume he did. - It would be transcending our prerogative, al- though, if we could, we might undertake to give this chapter extraordinary point by asserting that such a private method of settling differences is just as rational and far less hazardous to the sta- bility of society than the other ordinarily in vogue among the softer sex of open recrimina- tion and hysterics. Our hero was unfortunately deprived of Mrs. Plummer's society shortly afterward, the latter being called to temporarily visit an aged relative at Boston. But Miss Stacy remained and en- gaged him in numerous conversations, not only giving him a pleasing opportunity to ventilate his philosophy, but appearing earnestly desirous of seizing the chance to inspire him with the tender eloquence of personal confidence. CHAPTER IV., MOSES AND MR. TOPLADY PROCEED TO INDULGE IN THE ENTERTAINMENT OFFERED BY AN EVENING PARTY. THE PLEASING INCIDENTS AND CON- VERSATIONS THEREAT. THE following week Moses's uncle returned to the city. The presence of his nephew infused such spirits into Mr. Toplady as to cause him to give a carter of a dollar respectively to two beg- gars at the hotel door, which remarkable act upon his part was regarded by all as a proof of his un- usual satisfaction. Mr. Toplady had lived, for a few years past, a retired life. Possessed of a moderate fortune, he led what is generally called the life of a gentleman, although, being aware that among the more censorious this is sometimes invidiously designated as that of a loafer, he had, for the sake of avoiding the ignommious appella- tion, kept an office for the wholesale of Italian raisins, judiciously located in a place where no one in pursuit thereof would be likely to find him. Having become somewhat suspicious of human nature, especially of the femimfine side, he lived quite exclusive of society; but to giv6 his nephew an opportunity, lie resolved to come out and even hazard the dangers of an evening party or two. " I have a pleasant affair for you, Moses," said he, two or three days subsequently, in pursuance of this magnanimous resolve. "Mrs. Fasherlidge is to meet some friends to-night. I know Fasher- lidge. Fine, good-hearted fellow. I did him a business favor once and he didn't cut me for it. ,They say his wife is very fond of these affairs, , and it will undoubtedly be a delightful evening." " And the peculiarities of city society are so f new to me, I shall doubly enjoy it," replied Moses. Mr. Toplady was well aware that the style of - manners in vogue in the metropolis was derived e from the same choice source whence emanate the f unique costumes which succeed each other in the - round of fashion. lie considered also that the e same pretty much consisted in the intellectqal e triumph of having no friends, laughing at ac- h quaintances, and staring strangers out of counte- e nance. So he secretly felt he ought to here cau- O tion Moses on these little fashionable peculiarities. d " You inqst not mind any of the careless free- .s dom from restraint which you meet with, Moses," ~, said he carelessly. " Reckless love of fun of iNew-York young people, you know." "Of course not," replied'Moses benevolently "Where no offense is intended it only makes th occasion the more spirited." " Oh! yes. There will be freedom and noise gayety enough there, I warrant you. That's th thing. Every one is full of life at our New-Yorl parties; all hilarity and mirth." " Well I like it; it is certainly much bette than ceremony," replied our hero, "certainly.' Carried with his uncle in a coup to the Fash erlidge residence in the evening, Moses notice many carriages standing in front, both the driver and horses of which seemed desirous of vyinc with the stock-stillness of the vehicles. As the' entered the hall, the same refined quiet still ap peared, somewhat unexpectedly to them, to reign "All! we are, perhaps, a little early," whis pered Mr. Toplady to Moses. "Not many hav arrived yet.'.. A domestic, who had been gazing at their over coats in subdued anxiety, here pointed silently t the staircase, like a bandit chief, afflicted with tie toothache, ordering his prisoners to theii garret; and mounting to the dressing-room, oui friends were prepared for the occasion below by a similar dreary blockhead, who seemed to enter tim humane scruples against divulging the des tination of the visitors. Returning, a faint sound of whispered conversation was all that fell upon their cars as they approached the parlor door. "'You may go in !" said the bandit chief, now softening his manner to that of a sexton. Eli said Mr. Toplady, somewhat confusedly. "Many guests in there yet, Thomas ?" A good many of the church has arrove," re plied the domestic solemnly. "Dr. Coddle hasn't come yet though." Good gracious ! what is the matter with the servants ?" murmured Moses to his uncle. "And this dreadful stillness ! Can the family have met with any domestic trouble which-" Eli ?" said Mr Toplady, hesitating. " Has any trouble occurred in the house, my man, which prevents-" Oi! no. Walk right in, sirs," replied the domestic, in the delicate tone of a sympathetic undertaker. There is no trouble-leastwise not until supper." Our friends opened the door and entered. A more audible sound struck their ears, but it still seemed exceedingly disproportionate to the large number of guests which they beheld in the apart- ment. If it were a gathering for social diversion, it certainly appeared as if a slight paralysis of the festive faculties in requisition upon such occasions Must have been lately visited upon the parties engaged therein. Some of them were gazing into vacancy, with what really seemed to Moses to be a strong air of helplessness; others appeared to manifest a stern expectation of beiig relieved by these; while several of the less spell-bound were valkimg about, as if humanely endeavoring, by gentle conversation and velvet foot-falls, to break the enchantment without undue violence. A gen- tleman who had been seated in a corner of the rear room, indulging in the healthful practice of warm- in- his feet, arose and came toward them. Alh Toplady! I am glad you have come. You n-ill, 110 doubt, enjoy the evening vei-y much," said this gentleman, after the salutations. Ihere lie paused, and cast about the room a look which was rather expressive of the lively feelings of . hatred and disgust than any thing else, and wlich e seemed to deprive him of any desire to continue the conversation with them. y "Mrs. Fasherlidge is still dressing, but she e will be down directly," continued he, hesitating. k " And excuse me-I'll see you again during the evening, of course." With these words lie r walked off toward the retreat from whence he " had emanated. - Upon recovering from their surprise at this un- I expected decarnpment of the host-for such the s gentleman was-Mr. Toplady and Moses were g about resolving to cross the room, or do some- y thing else very desperate, when a very gorgeous- - ly dressed lady entered the apartment, and suc- . cessively saluted the guests. The sensation of - this event commanded the presence of the spirit- e ed host again. He emerged, and presently intro- duced our friends to the lady as his wife. " I pray you take seats, gentlemen," said the o latter rather loftily, and glancing significantly at her husband. r " Mr. Toplady is a gentleman of wealth and r leisure, whom you will be proud to know, my dear," said Mr. Fasherlidge, seeming to derive - some malignant pleasure from making his whis- per quite audible. " Ali! allow me to welcome you to our humble palace," said she, with a sudden smile of gmeat sweetness. "Excuse us; in endeavoring to offer instruction as well as amusement to our friends, we struggle for diffused ease as the first requisite amid the magnificence of our entertainments. We make them as unconventional as possible, - you observe. Do you not think we are judicious ? Excuse ceremony, sirs." " Thank you-not at all!" replied our friends warmly. " You can leave," said Mrs. Fasherlidge, sud- denly turning to her husband, and smiling upon him conjugally. "As you are not wanted here now, you can go up and sit with the child. You know I shall require all the domestics, and can not spare Gretchen. Such singular misfortune! Children invariably are taken with the hooping- cough just when our attention is absolutely re- quired in other matters !" observed she, in gra- ciots apology, to Mr. Toplady, as her husband left. "Yes, the empty refinements of fashion we in particular disregard. Some particular enter- tainments will commence directly, in which we sincerely hope you will join. In'the mean time you will excuse my immediate society." At this she very cruelly but gracefully with- drew from therm. "I suppose it is because I've been so long un. used to these affairs I feel a little awkward," whispered Mr. Toplady, after they had been seat- ed for a moment near the wall. 1"Don't you ex- perience a hind of unnaturalness in the flow of your feelings at these evening parties, Moses V" " Well-yes. I must say I do feel a kind of stiffness now. They don't seem to be doing -much here," replied Moses doubtfully. "lHowever, it will wear away soon, won't it? Miss Stacy told me she was going to be here." "Ali! and there she is-see her-by the win- dow, with those gentlemen amind ladies examining the stereoscop~es," replied Mr. Toplady, somew-hat ielieved. "Suppose I findh out fi-om her if-if the guests are expected-to do any thing unusual to- night. .You sit still. I'll be back presently." MR. WINKFIELD. 10o I t page: 12-13[View Page 12-13] 12 MR. WINKFIELD. Moses did sit still. In fact, he had begun to "Yes," replied Moses, thoroughly overcome think it was not, perhaps, expected he should do by this novel thought. otherwise. Near him sat two ladies in conversa- "There is a sweet pleasure in the contempla- tion. Presently one of them abruptly left the tion of the thought, which the gay flutterers of other, who was dressed in black and of a serious the world do not think of. The tomb is-1 aspect. The latter turned toward Moses and Now time, death, the devil, and friendship are eyedhim, and then smiled upon him. She then some of the most abstru e subjects which can be suddenly resumed her doleful expression, and offered to the human Intellect for its activity, then as suddenly smiled again; then she followed and there is no reason why a philosppher like up this eccentric but pleasing affability by rising Moses, even while naturally expecting lighter and approaching him. and less solemn amusement, should not be "n Ah I excuse me," said she, "you are Mr. pleased with a short game of these lofty abstrac- Dibbler, I believe, of the firm of-" tions. And to a philosopher, too, whose atten- " No, madam, my name is Winkfield, if you tion was thus directed to the second of these in- please, of Maaychusett.,--teresting subjects, how agreeable must it have "A !youf are then but a stranger in this great been to meet with such a female as this, one so city, Mt. Winkfield ?" continued she, apparently willing to keep up a perpetual illustration thereof desirous of entertaining him, with the attributes of her widowhood, and so able Yes, ma'am I replied Moses courteously. to crush any weak disposition to slink off from "Ah 1 how much you have to see! So many the subject by the prerogatives of her woman- delightful drives in the neighborhood. 0 hood. We must conclude, therefore, that he Greenwood I Have you seen that beauteous 'city was unaffectedly sincere when he abruptly inter- of the dead,' Mr. Winkfield ?" inquired the lady, rupted the loquacious lady with the following continuing with some enthusiasm. bulletin of his health: "Not ma'a Im" replied Moses surprisedly. " 0 dear! I beg pardon, madam, but I feel "You know not how delightful a scene it pre- really unwell. Excuse me. I feel as if I ought sents at this season of the year. I was there to seek my uncle and-go homeh" yesterday. Yes, the leafless trees but caused the He saw Miss Stacy standing alone near the winds in heavier sluggishness to resound. The stereoscopic table below. Mr. Toplady had re- cold atmosphere suggested the blood curdling tired therefrom with another friend. Moses slowly beneath the gelid breath of death. The darted in frenzied gratitude for her presence. frozen ground the subsequent tranquillity of the "eeProceed at once to tbe back parlor e' whis- corpse 1" pered she mysteriously. "We must not be seen "Good gracious! this is entirely unexpected V" together! You must-"' thought Moses, with an abrupt start. "I cer- 6"Not seen together V" exclainied Moses, in tainly expected something else !" new astonishment.I "The scene was doubly emblematic, Mr. Wink- No, no I Some of - but hush! Adieu! field, and thus was the pleasure of our silent re- adieu !" said she, precipitating herself from the flections enhanced !" continued the lady, appear- young man's presence ere lie could make a fur- ing as though she highly enjoyed this solemn re- their inquiry fresient. "H 1a I ha! said he, lingering confusedly, "0 dear! yes-ahem-the visit must have "the proceedings are very singular here. There been very pleasant to you," said Moses, shivering is something in the- certainly, for an evening involuntarily as the vivid vision of a graveyard party, I- iu collapsed in winter rose, before hirm His attempt at recovering his equilibrium by cleeMr. Crossboy, my husband, for whom I wear the power of philosophizing was interrupted by a this garh, is buried there!" continued the lady, gentleman in ringlets and a clerical necloth, with a cosy air. 11Ilis tomb, glistening in white- 111stened by a diamond pin, who, rising and wvav- ness, is a fitting emblem of the brightness of his lag the scent from his handkerchief, bespoke the new existence, contrasting so delightfully to our attention of the assembly. It was the celebrated blackened life of earthly turmoil here !. Dr. Coddle, tie great evangelical sensation of the 1"1Ali [-Your husband !' said Moses, making a metropolis. 0 great effort toushow a delicate sympathy for the " Friends, my amiable parishioner, Mrs. Fash- bereavement. erlidge, has kindly commanded me, her pastor "Yes; ten years ago be died. Yes; ten and slave, to inform you that she has a great sur- years since hieI'sparkled, wvas exhaled, and went prise for you P" said he, looking around upon the toacavene replied the lady serenely. guests and smiling archly. A hushed interest At the slight indication of the manner of his waited upon his intimation, and there was a death which these poetic words would seem to general exchanging of significant smiles among give, Moses's consolatory glance seemed to sug- the old ladies as in recognition of one well gest that he would be interested to hear the same known for his affability and unbending in more explicitly narrated, and he immediately society. learned that the unfortunate Crossboy had been "You are all aware, fellow-sinners and guests," blown up on a Mississippi steamboat to such an continued he, resuming a serious air, "that some extraordinary height, the quotation appeared ex- two years since the efforts ot the flock were called tremely appropriate, upon ineal of the Rev. Mr.Witarius, " But if we reason aright, madam, no should dephi oefthmsteiawouyunmn not be much concerned after all whether our life of Dr. Flack's establisbrhomen o thatplace, who ends to-morrow or a thousand years hence," coin- annodhismeanest resole oeote his lien tinned lhe, to th-oamdn fteOin.H ha be ed"No; it is decreed we all must die," respond- there, and by governenal psuckareiption gat.d MR. WINKFIELD. I personal danger, has been obliged to return to his native land, to remainI He is present and wid now gratify you with some remarkIs upon the place of his sojourn, Syria. He will review the nature of its climate, soil, and form of government, andno doubt will relate to us many interesting personal incidents connected with the inimical and truly diabolical spirit manifested toward him and his enterprise generally by the benighted native of that region while dwelling in their midst. I have the pleasure-that is, Mrs. Fasherlidge and my- .self-have the pleasure of introducing to you the Rev. Mr. Witling." A young gentleman of pleasant staidness o demeanor was at once led from his place of con- cealment by the hand of the amiable hostess, and surely enough, a lecture upon one of the most interesting climes of the East was fairly inaugu- rated. Although Moses had expected another class of entertainments, he lent a deep attention to the matter, and felt a profound gratitude to his worthy hostshfor the instructive one which wvas thus offered him. " After all," thought he, "it is perhaps well that a part of evening erntertainments should be rationally spent in the derivation of useful in- formation. A short running account of foreign adventures, with statistics left out, would fill up a gap in a truly delightful manner." This was at the commencement of the lecture. After the lapse of about thirty minutes, he arose very quietly and, seeking the hall, proceeded to the rear drawing-room for the purpose of imme- diately finding, his uncle. Tile door of a small room upon the opposite side was half open, and he looked in. Two or three guests were engaged in low conversation therein. "Pardon mne! I was looking for my uncle, Mr. Toplady. The oriental gentleman making the remarks in the other room," said he hesitat- ing, "was dwelling at some'length upon the' Arabs' methods of constructing their ice-houses. As, I amn familiar with ice-houses, I thought I would leave for a moment."' " 01,! walk in, sir," said a solemn gentleman. " Well, I villa. I will await here, if you please, till the dancing is announced and then-" "I begr your pardon, but I believe there is to be no dancing, sir, 7said a young lady graciously. "The practice is not known in this house, sir," said the solemn gentleman rather sternly. "Our Worthy hostess has feelings in consonance with mine, sir, and that 'of every other American mother. I repeat in behalf of that worthy lady, unseemly frisking and languishing with th'e legs, though tolerated in some frivolous households arc not known here, sir. Not a solitary frisk, Sir." "Ah! I must beg her pardon," replied Moses. "I was not aware she was among those who re- gard that amusement with disfavor.." "With disfavor! Her eyes were first opened to the pernicious results of dancing at an early period, sir, when a young and thoughtless friend of hers, in coming from a dancing party, was thrown from her wagon andsbroke her leg. 3ihe and others are aware too, sir, that her second cousin was born hopelessly cross-eyed, which she never would have been if her mother had not first met her cross-eyed father at a hall. I for my part can't see what there is il it. What pleasure now would there be in waltzing round s with me, for instance, for an half-hour ?" con I timed the solemn gentleman very effectively, and appealing to the young lady. "It is claimed that it is useful and benefits some constitutions. Now I know of a poor young girl, sir, who at- tended dances to avoid nervous disease that she might work and pay her rent. She afterward 3 became aware of her error and refused to go any f more. And what is the result ? She is now in a comfortable hospital, and don't have to pay any rent at all. It leads to all sorts of wicked- less. Why, sir, take the case of Mrs. Fasher- lidge's own French maid i she ran away with her mistress' jewelry, and upon being detected, - stated that she had formerly been a coryphe at I the theatre. The pirouettes the poor girl had been forced to make had undoubtedly turned her head." Moses appeared to be so much affected by these impressive illustrations of the solemn gen- tleman's position, that the latter seemed inclined to relent, and said: " But there will probably be some games here, sir." "They are certainly a pleasant substitute," suggested the young lady, who had been watch- ing Moses's countenance with some curiosity. Do yoc not think they arc interesting, sirO" "Delightful! It is so agreeable to renew our childhood for a merry hour. The old games of bu, and hunt the slipper, and thimble, and toot- leytoo-knock-em-down i" replied Moses vivacious- ly. " I revere them !" "Toot-young gentleman !" exclaimed the el- der at this in belialf our worthy hosts I protest against this idle mentioning of tootley and other senseless pastimes I " What did lie mean by games then? le cer- tainly can't mean cards !" wondered Moses. "I beg pardon the games youkmention, are not with -.-cards, arc they, sir ?" asked he, hesitatin. "Young man Iexclaimed the elder, exploding this time. "I pardon you for disrespect to me; but I will not, Sir, this insinuation at thme expense of the hono- and Christian decent of Mr and Mrs. Fasherlidge and I won't 1" " Oh! allow me to rectify his mistake," said the young lady, hastily interrupting the shocked and hiorror-stricken deacon, to address MosegQ. "6These games are Such as geographical puzzles, historical conundrums, and pleasant involutions of biblical knowledge, you know." " Oh! I sincerely beg the gentleman to forgive my stupidity. No disrespect, sir," replied Moses earnestly. " And these instructive exercises, as they should more properly be called," continued the mollified gentleman, "are also judiciously calcu- lated, sir, from thepositon in which we receive them, to strengthen the back as well as the memory, si" Moses was about cautiously replying when lie was interrupted by Mr. Toplady, who here en- tered the room. "Ah Moses! excuse me. I thought I hiard your voice," said he. "I was in tho adjoininr library. I have been looking at the skulls." "The skulls ?" ejaculated Moses in a lively manner. " A very fine collection of tao line of hmeredit- ary chiefs of the Feejecs, sir," said the solemn gentlemn."Theywr bouht fro iepe sent chief, a convert torChristianity, by the mis- page: 14-15[View Page 14-15] 14 MR, WINK] sionary resident there, and sent by the latter as a fa Christmas present to Mrs. Fasherlidge." di " Indeed !" exclaimed Moses. (" Whew! what a way of raising the wind, and what a pres- af ent !") th "The price was remarkably reasonable, Moses at -fifty cents a chief!" said Mr. Toplady. re " If I had the collection," murmured Moses, "I R should take immediate measures to -secure that of the present chiefhlso.. (I wouldn't mind if it came flo in two pieces," solo voce to his uncle, "and that ar of the missionary, too. Confound me, if I would!) tU am going home, uncle." c( "Yes, we had better go," said Mr. Toplady fii despondently. al pYou will not leave before the collation, sirs 911 n asked the deacon, with an air of profound aston- sf ishment. "It takes place at eleven. Leaving a out of the question the splendid contributions to o the church plate, by which she has rendered her- v self so eminent, the munificent bounty of our w hostess is particularly evinced in her banquets, s sir. That admirable woman has been known to t( declare she would rather make the sacrifice of putting her children on one meal a day, and p stinting her husband to one suit annually, than s fail in either !"1 " It is well known that she is a lady of great b liberality, refinement, and taste," said Mr. Top- t lady, feeling called upon to say something. "'Yes, sir," continued the deacon. "All these d may be observed in her personal attire alone. a Dr. Coddle has paid her the compliment of hav- ing done more to uphold the church, in the t simple matter of dressing, than any other member. i It vas a fortunate thing, both for him and the so- I ciety, when she became sincere. She became so, f sir, on listening to his powerful essay on the re- tributive nature of future punishment, at the( death of her uncle, who died unconfirmed in a fit t of apoplexy. She was principally instrumental t in Dr. Coddle's succeeding the former divine, a very worthy but uninteresting man, sir. You musvertinly stay to the banquet." - M oses fell into a short reflection during these remarks. Regarding evening parties as a relaxa- tionhe had been wondering why, with so many of the usual appliances thereto eliminated in this case, Mrs. Fasherlidge should be fond of giv- incgthese affairs, and still more why they should be so well attended. A stern reflection upon the female weakness for social notoriety would have answered the one, and the last words of the dea- con'swremarks, perhaps, answered the other. Moses, however, more benevolently concluded that the simple, natural instinct for social inter- course and the pleasant interchange of thought, was a suffieilnt reason. "wThere will be nusic aiso," suggested a second young lady, looking pleasantly at the first. " You will certainly be repaid for your delay." "Ahi! that will be delightful. Now what opera 'do you like best? I, for my part," cried Moses vivaciously, "have become enchanted with Doni- zetti's earlier works, and-" "Mis Wagbull, we all understand, possesses a cervice, and eminently adaptedl to sacred music, vice, To sacred music, sir l" said the dea- coni, brekn out again. con A then she will delight us. We must cer- tainly remain. - And perhaps she will sing your FIELD., vorite, uncle, the Ave M1aria of the _Cana an-" I- "I think not; I think not," interrupted the. flicted deacon. " It can hardly be expected, sir, at she or any other sane female desires to sing, this time and place, sir, any piece which makes ference to the forms and mummeries of the omish Church. That is, I should judge not!" Mr. Toplady felt compelled to draw off the in- amed elder from his incompatible nephew at once, nd the latter thus had an unrestrained oppor. unity of chatting with Miss Wagbull until the inclusion of the Syrian lecture, which was nished shortly afterward, much to the delight of ll who had listened to it. We will not give the ature of her remarks herv, but wv will *imply ay that they were so extremely pleasant, and her ppreciation of life therein seemed so akin to his wn, that he wished the moments of their inter- iew might have been prolonged. le saluted her ith unfeigned respect as she left upon being ummoned to assist in the proposed musical en- ertainment. Miss Stacy met him at the parlor door as he resently followers Miss Wagbull. She hastily ought a private interview with him. Requested um to retire again to the library, conceal himself behind its door, and she would talk with him through the crack. "Through the crack ! But why this extraor- linary precaution, Miss Stacy? W hy any secrecy t all in-" "Ila! A mpst singular rumor is current hero o-night," whispered she. "You will pardon me f I have taken these measures to promptly- but, hark! some one approaches! Adieu ! my dear friend. Do not follow me. Oh! do not, I beg!." With an alarmed look, she fled from him at once, ere she could explain to him the nature of the mysterious rumor, or the efficacy of the ex- traordinary measures she was evidently taking to suppress it. "It appears to be something connected with me! - he can't have discovered that am taken for a suspicious character in disguise, or have some infectious disease. What does she mean ? I'll ask uncle. By Jupiter ! there he is with that. Mrs. Crossboy. I can't go near him now." His attention was now engaged by the nusic, which was of a very interesting nature, beimg, in fact, a somewhat novel mixture of the more in- tricate choruses of sacred psalmody, and ballads respecting the Incheape Bell, Mr. John Anderson, the Sicur do Framboisy, and a few others similar- y popular for their solemnity, pathos, and re- spectability. He became particularly absorbed, however, in the vocal effort with which Miss Wag- bull endeavored to gratify the assemblage, and re- pay the kind hospitality of the mansion. There was something so sweet, in her expression,.and so dignified in her manner, that he felt as if it were St. Cecilia herself. What a pleasant, old- fashioned song, and what a voice! An octoge- narian near him, blew his nose in an extremely sonorous manner at its pathetic humor, and Moses himself felt a thrill of pleasure pass through his frame at those clear, earnest notes. His in- voluntary reverie,. and the silence of gratiticatioii which seemed to have. hushed every one in the room, was broken, finally, by a voice at his side. Great heaven ! it was that of his friend, Mrs,. Crossboy. Is r" vyrirLrTy'"Tl",T " TINKFIELD. 15 MR. W "Ah Mr. Wink !" said she; "it is so pleasa to give sympathy instead of receiving it. I, wh have known both, can well say we have thus a the interesting excitement of bereavement, wit the acute pain left out. In conversing with you uncle, Mr. Topplehead-and an extremely aff ble creature he is too, I am sure-I learned b just now that you lost your maternal grandmother a year ago, and I-" I beg pardon, madam," replied Moses, with frown, "I feel that she is not quite lost to me-an none of my dear friends who have-and perm me to ask you how you liked the ballad whic the last young lady sung? Has she not a trul agreeable voice ?" Indeed she has, and what a beautiful figur she has, and what a sweet face, too," continue the loquacious lady. By the way, does it no strike you, Mr. Wink, how lovely those feature would appear, were they-were they compose in the sad, quiet spirit of the tomb! Regar themMr. Wink, and apply the beautiful imagine ative thought .'Now as these features wer decidedly more calculated to arouse feelings con nected with a stay upon this earth, than a de parture from it, Moses not only did not apply th beautiful imaginative thought, but he expressed at once his absolute disapproval of any such pro ceeding by an unmistakable sniff of displeasure. Oh ! I am going home," said he. He arose, and taking a somewhat abrupt leave of the sorry Mrs. Crossboy, sought Miss Wagbull. While lin- gering in her presence, quite a number of heavy old ladies and aged gentlemen withdrew quietly and gradually from the room, and shortly after their exit the announcement of supper was gen- erally made. The universal buzz of gratification, which seemed to indicate that this was considered the event -of the evening by most of the guests, was succeeded by the approach to the banquet- room. Some lively attempts at velocity were made by the guests in this matter, and the stair- case was temporarily crowded with persons of both sexes, pleasantly undergoing the momentary torture of the pressure, with the bright hope be- fore them of being in time. One old lady, en- deavoring to take her dinner-pills on the route, would have been suffocated by wrongly swallow- ing them, had she not been fortunately restored by the shoves and blows upon her back incident to her position. Another guest, an elderly gen- tleman, most singularly lost his set of teeth dur. ing the passage, but otherwise it was safely ac- complished by the majority of the guests. As Miss Wagbul declined to follow them, Moses ac- companied her to her carriage, and then returned to seek his uncle, who had evidently been carried under pressure to the supper-room. It was with, some difficulty that he could obtain entrance thereto. The noise of indiscriminate conversa- tion, and of the numerous acts of refreshment and commands to the waiters, arose in mingled strength. Several gentlemen appeared to be without hope of reaching the table. The solemn gentleman or deacon with whom he had con- versed in the library, in particular, excited Moses's sympathies by the fr-antic efforts which he now made to find a place thereat. Hie pushed about from one part of the table to another, now futilely attempting to reach over the heads of his luckier anid regardless friends, and now attempting in vain to crowd himself in between them. " Fo- nt heaven's sake, sir," said he, with symptoms of 1o plucking his hair, and making quite a moving ap. ill peal to Moses, "assist me. Get me a place at the th table, for God's sake! That is-excuse me-but ir -O dear !-I shall not succeed if some one a- doesn't help me." His despair was very touch- it ing, but Moses was forced to inform him lie er evidently could not bd assisted. " There is that missionary cannibal, young a Witling, standing next to the hostess !" cried the d deacon in his bitterness; " and that conceited it coxcomb, Coddle, oin the other side. 0 dear ! h she is absolutely assisting them herself, and giv- y ing them all the choice dishes I Sir, age is not respected nowadays. The respect due to years e and the rights of elderly experience and respect- d ability is thrown away and basely trampled upon, t sir!" S "Calm yourself, sir," replied Moses. "It was d perhaps, by some over sight that you have been so d unfortunately neglected. - "Oversight! no, sir. It was a deliberate in- e sult, sir; a calm, cool, deliberate insult upon the - part of Mr. and Mrs. Fasherlidge. But I will - thwart it, I will, by heaven !" concluded he, mak- e ing a convulsive grab at a waiter who was push- 1 ing by. Here an opening was made in the crowd -at the table, by a gentleman retiring with a plate in his hand, who proposed seeking. a secret cor- ner to lubricate his repast from a private pocket- flask which lie ingeniously practiced carrying to temperance festivities. The deacon disappeared in the chasm. Moses now descried his uncle upon the other side of the room, wedged in by the side of Mrs. Crossboy, to whose vivacious anec- dotes the unhappy gentleman appeared to be listening with a mingled expression of ferocity and despair upon his countenance. His friend Miss Stacy, too, he observed in another corner alone, unhelped, and helpless. In his courteous benevolence he at once started to assist her in her lonely distress, when a slight occurrence took place, which rendered his retirement perhaps un- avoidable. The unfortunate deacon had not suc- ceeded after all in reaching the table, and in his frenzy had attempted the forcible expulsion of one of the guests therefrom. A gentle alterca- tion took place between the forgetful contestants, and in the momentary consternation of the as- sembly, Moses received a cup of chocolate in his bosom, and concluding his efforts in behalf of his fair friend Miss Stacy would be unavailing lie left the room. He was shortly joined by his uncle. "I am glad you are here," said that gen- tlemai, in nervous agitation. "By heaven - escaped from her-that old woman with her talk about death and scythes ! Let us go, Moses, or she will be on us again. Let us go at once." "Certainly," replied Moses. "But you-you have enjoyed yourself to-night haven't you, Moses ?" asked Mr. Toplady hesitat- ingly, when they were seated in the carriage. "Oh ! yes," replied Moses, remembering Miss Wagbull. "It has been pleasant to ine. Indeed very pleasant." "Well, leaving out the old woman with the scythe, and the lengthiness of the lecture, the occupation of the host and hostess' time, our un- acquaintance with most of the guests, this dread-. lul crowd at supper, and our desire to be a little more lively, ehi? perhaps it was," said Mr. Toplady retrospectively. " Eh, Moses, perhaps it was ?" I page: 16-17[View Page 16-17] 16 MR. WINKFIELD. " Oh! yes; by the way, uncle, have you heard And tripped up the astonished Moses was upon any remark or rumor during the evening in which the spot, and not only that, but in spite of a su- my name was in some way connected with some- perhuman effort to dispossess himself of his antag- h other" onists, dragged into the parlor, rolled up in a fire- tWith Miss Stacy; oh! yes. I heard in one rug and bound therein hand and foot in less than quarter that you were madly in love with her, two minutes. and in another that you threatened to shoot any "Police! " exclaimed the alarmed Moses, as he other person who dared to pay attention to her." felt it impossible to move in the rug. "And will you inform me, uncle," continued "The very idea ! He's tied tight, isn't he ? Run, Moses, starting, "how the deuce such a ridiculous John, and fetch a policeman at once ! Let Bridget statement originated, and from whom?" come up and assist me to watch him!" said the " Oh ! pshaw ! some malignant old gossip trying master of the house, seizing a fire-shovel and to make the evening lively, perhaps. Miss Stacy mounting guard over the prostrate Moses. denied it indignantly " replied Mr. Toplady slowly. "What-what do you mean by this infamous treatment of an utter stranger to you, sir ?" gasp- ed Moses indignantly, making an unsuccessful en- deavor to raise himself to a sitting posture. CHAPTER V. "Oh ! you had better keep quiet ! I'll have to ONE OF THE DIVERSIONS OF NEW-YORK OLD GEN- turn this sofa over you, if you don't !" cried the TLEMEN. other placidly. Tlere there appeared a commotion in the house. AT a proper time after the- party at which he An elderly lady and two young ones ran into the had the pleasure of becoming acquainted with room and out again timidly. Miss Wagbull, Moses proposed to reply to her in- " Come here, wife. But you, Jane and Joanna, vitation to visit her at home. For the first time, stay where you are! I've got him!" perhaps, he entertained misgivings as to the fit of "0 dear! who is it, papa ?" exclaimed the his coat, and eyed with feelings of concern and young ladies approaching in cautious curiosity irritation his pantaloons. It was momentary, how- behind the old lady. ever, and overcoming the weakness, he proceeded "Untie my legs !" gasped Moses, vehemently through the cheerful and bracing atmosphere to excited by the presence of the ladies. "You are fulfill his resolve. Presenting himself at the man- stopping ,r.y circulation! I -I-This dreadful sion, which was of the usual New-York style of posture. You are endangering my life !" roared he. stone veneer with high stoop, he re-surveyed his "Eh? Your circulation ?" asked the old gen- attire upon the latter with much care, ere he rung tleman doubtfully. the bell While bending to adjust a loosened "What do you mean by all this, Edwin? Re- shoe-string, the door was partially opened by a lease his feet and let him sit up," commanded the gentleman. As Moses rose, the latter widened matron authoritatively. the aperture, disclosing a male domestic behind "Hem! Well, I will," said the gentleman. him, and they both commenced to gaze steadily "Stand ready, Bridget. You can sit in that chair, at our hero. young man, but you will not attempt to escape, " (Her father or uncle!) I beg your pardon, hey, will you?" is this Mr. WagbulPs house ?" asked Moses with "I thank you, madam, for your kind interfer- respect. ence, but you, sir, once more I ask you, what do "Sir? Wagbull-no, sir ." replied the gentle- you mean by this outrage ?" said Moses from the- man with an emplhasis,"But step in, sir. It is chair, endeavoring to be as dignified as his envel-, rather cold out there, Ci p? oped condition and the appearance of a resusci- "Excuse met but is ot-is ndt this thirty-one tated mummy would permit. He had taken a Thirty-eighth street?" asked Moses, lingering, and rapid sut-vey. fumbling about his pocket, as he stepped into the "Oh! you need' t attempt to intimidate me by ante-room. aI have a card which-" any innocent protestations. I caught you; I caught "No, young man, it is not thirty-one Thirty- him in the very act, wife !" cried the latter, tri- eighth street.' Let me enlighten you, young man; umphantly. it is thirty-eight Thirty-first street," replied the "Caught me in the act! What do you mean gentleman in what certainly seemed a satirical by the act said Moses, losing his temper at he- tone, as he closed the outer door and furtively ing presented to three ladies rolled up in a carpet looked it. an nearly falling off of his chair in the excite- "Oh! I beg pardon. I have made a mistake. ment attendant thereon. "If I could have my Quite a natural mistake!" said Moses, smilng- hands loosened, I would personally castigate you, and turning about to leave. "This numbering of sir I would punch your head 1" streets as ell asbouses is quite confusing. " "He was stooping down in the very act of seiz- "Wait u moment, young man. Don't be im a ing the mat, wife, when I opened the door,"a sd hurry to go," continued the gentleman, i a jocose the gentleman to his wife. "In the very act. Just tone, at which Moses observed the domestic to be as I supposed, it is a regular profession, not the grinning intensely. "Wait, will you not? Oh ! work of beggars or children, het- do, now 1" ably disguised for the purpose." do,-o t , M s bi " at !" roared Moses in astonishment. fln t-o than somewhatsrpied tses egtlm- "My dear sir, keep quiet, keep perfectly cool. nnte mwa upie a h etea' I know you-Ilhave been watching for you--twen- "O!you will not, eh ? Y ou will not ? Well, I ty-cight matdo hav s'eenh tke farsmhraemonth- rather think you will," continued the latter, lay- somestgtan dolaven, worhalnltheast thrpleasurehof up, John !" exclame he quly to T e etic putting a stop to your rascally proceedings." MR. WINKFIELD. 17 "iDo 'you suspeet me," cried Moses, "of being a purloiner of-" Your game of mistaking numbers was ver pretty, but it won't do, it won't do," continue the old gentleman.' " My blood is up, by heaven and I will have the twenty - eight mats bac again, and additional vengeance for the hours of patient watching for you which it has cost me !" " But-my dear sir, won't you listen to me? exclaimed Moses, in utter astonishment and dis gust. "No, sir, I will not, at least until the police man arrives. Prepare for at least five years it the penitentiary. If you are so fond of the mats I'll see they put you to making them in the insti tuition, ha!ha!" "Take this hideous envelope from me. Re- lease me from this indignity. Release me, or- send your family out of the room," continued Moses nervously, as lie caught sight of the young ladies, irrepressibly tittering at the singular ap- pearance he presented. "No, sir, I shall not endanger the peace and mats of society by any such proceeding, I assure you ! "But listen to me a moment," begged Moses. "I can easily explain how-if you will release me; I have papers upon my person to show you-" "Be quiet, sir. Be quiet until the police arrive and you will have an opportunity !" said the o14 gentleman, cotinuin- his satirical air of benev, olence.o Moses endeavored to compose himself to si- lence, but in vain. "Under these circumstances, in placing an estimate upon your character, I am called upon to read you," exclaimed he, with renewed em- piis"to regard you as a contemptible fellow and unreasonable muff, unreasonable muff, sir." thEh, sir, what is that you said? What is that, Sir ?" asked the old gentleman, jumping in- stinctively to the rear of the cook, as he ob- served Moses's threatening aspect. I say, si-, that I consider you simply as a muff; and were I possessed of the use of my limbs, sir, I should he compelled to inflict per- sonal chastisement upon you, sir, in this very apartment. I would, I assure you !" - 0 dear !" cried the ladies, pulling back their relative in bodily fear, and Cyeing Moses with terror. "Ibeg your pardon, ladies," cried the latter, with immediate regret, " that I have so far for, gotten your presence and your connection with this gentleman, as to have uttered words disre- speetfnl of either. I will now await the arrival of the authorities." After an half-hour's lapse, during which Moses, in dignified silence and with averted gaze, en- deavored to dissipate his sense of injured self- respect, by reverting to the happy scenes of his childhood, the policeman came, and the mistake of the old gentleman was shown beyond doubt by the proofs of respectability which Moses had upon his person. The policeman was sent away by the old gentleman, and the latter, after staring t Moses confusedly for some moments, " My God ! sir, this is a dreadful affisir," said he. "I apologize. I didn't like to do it out there. Stay and spend the evening. I have g Burgundy aid Mumm in my cellar. I just had up a second bottle, and am glad you come. We'll y make a night of it. You and I will watch together d for the thieves, and-" , " Oh ! no; no, sir. I beg of you, excuse me," k replied Moses hastily. "Eh? Perhaps you still feel a little aggrieved and want further reparation," said the pater familias dubiously. "It's natural, and if you say so, I'll have John stand at the front-door as you go out, and you can kick him down-stairs." -Moses felt himself forced to decline this hand- some offer. " Then you will call again ?" said the old gen- - tleman, following Moses out into the parlor. "My wife and daughters will be happy to see you again !" "Oh! do, sir !" chimed in the young ladies, en- deavoring to look tenderly at Moses, though they suddenly tittered again, in spite of their wishes. - Moses started nervously, and with a profit- sion of hasty thanks bowed himself immediately into the street. There he observed the policeman sustaining himself by the front railings and labor- ing very heavily in laughter. Moses rushed by him and proceeded rapidly to his hotel. He re- tired at once to his room, and spent the remainder of the evening in committing the event in cipher to his diary, and in reading Rasselas in bed. CHAPTER VI. AN ENTIRELY UNEXPEcTED EVENT IN TOPLADY's LIFE, WITH AN EQUALLY UNEXPECTED TERMINA- TION. TnE slight incident related in the previous chapter was, after all, so really amusing, so in- structive of the curious predicaments in which the most respectable of human beings may be placed by the stupidity of New-Yorkers, that Moses confided it to his uncle. Very amusing, indeed ; but does it not seem, Moses, responded the latter with asslight frown, "somewhat singular that in the short space of time you have been here, you should have been already twice in difficulty-in fact, in contact with the police !" "But, my dear uncle," replied Moses warmly, "I am sure in both cases it was totally unappre- hended by me, and-" " Yes, very true. But what I would particu- larly refer to, Moses, is a certain want of circum- spection in placing yourself within reach of such events," continued Mr. Toplady, with an air of partial sternness. "Look at me; have I ever been subject to suspicion or-" The abrupt entrance of two strangers inter- rupted his well-meant lecture. "This here is Mr. E. Toplady's apartment, an't it ?" inquired one. "Yes, sir, it is ?" replied the uncle severely. "Oh ! I suppose he is out, an't he ?" suggested the intruder with a trivial air. "No sir, le isnot. I mthat person and-" You can go peacefully with mc, No. 048, patrol man, to the station, or I can shove you !" page: 18-19[View Page 18-19] 18 MR. WINKFIELD. 'What! Good heavenI This is a-mistake! There is some-'? - " Certainly, there always is, isn't there, 390 ?" said the officer dryly to the other. "But be kind enough to get your hat. You may take, if you want to, a clean shirt and two pairs of socks in your pocket." " But what do you mean? ,What is it for 9" exclaimed the astonished Mr. Toplady.. "Oblige me by sayin' nothin' more. My du- ties is simply to arrest you," replied the police- man. "I han't any orders to tell you any thing."- "Show your warrant! show your warrant I" cried Moses, overwhelmed with surprise and con- cern. " Until you do that, my friend will not leave this apartment, if I can help it, by heaven !" "Young man, I jest advise you not to meddle in this here. You'd better not attempt any rescue." And with these words the officer rubbed his nose with his club in dry humor, and its sig- nificance appeared also to divert his companion very much.I " What is it? Confound it, there is some mis- take here, men! I don't remember.any thing I've done lately !" again exclaimed Mr. Toplady, who in the momentary confusion was unable to remem- her any of his own, or any one else's acts, for that matter. "This is surprising," cried Moses. "Police- men, you are at least bound to inform him of the cause of this outrage, for such it assuredly is V" "Look here,-I can't wait here no longer," ex- claimed the officer. "You can hear all about it of the inspector. I don't know nothing about charges any how." "Well, then, we had better wait until we reach the station-house," said the prisoner hurriedly. " It's probably a gross mistake, which will be cleared up there instantly !" " What ! will you coolly submit to these fel- lows ?" renewed Moses, looking pugnaciously at the officers. And he, no doubt, would have con- tinued his reckless opposition to the guardians a'nd been presently knocked down by them, had he not ascertained from his uncle that the police were duly authorized by general warrant to proceed in this manner. "Well, then, if- you go I will go with yop, uncle. I'll accompany you and stay there with you," said the affectionate nephew. "In the tn- pleasantness and gloom'of the dungeon I can, perhaps, soothe the distressed-" Mr. Toplady had been gazing for a moment at the officer. He possessed a great knowledge of the ways of human nature-male, at least-and he seemed struck with an idea, for a light passed over his face. " Eh ? No. I think you had better not Moses," said he. "I had better go alone, hadn' I, officer?" "I've got a cab out here. It won't hold bu two. 390, Jim, can show t'other gentleman th way to the station-house, if he wants to go,' replied the officer, becoming quite affable. Moses concluded to agree to the arrangement Ilis unfortunate uncle was conveyed quietly t the cab, and he himself at once tore along with th auxiliary officer in eager haste to the polic office. . . To his great astonishment, and certainly to hi profound gratification at its cause, upon reachmn that place he discovered considerable excitemen The officer' who had taken charge of hils uncle had already arrivedbut the latter had notu! In their disappointment the authorities sternly held Moses in the suspicious light of a -conniver at the escape. All knowledge of the official charges brought against his uncle, and of the case in general, was thus unfortunately ordered to be refused him by the entire force. He was allowed to leave the premises, as the officers who had been detailed to make the arrest freed him from any blame in the matter, as far as their know- ledge was concerned. And he was thus left to find out as best he could what the occurrence had been which had given rise to these disagreeable proceedings against his relative, and also to what obscure retreat that relative had fled under these unpleasant circumstances. CIIAPTER VII. MISS STACY INCREASES HER INTEREST IN oUR-HERO. MosEs endeavored in vain to allay his natural concern respecting the whereabouts of his uncle and the probably doubtful condition of spirits under the oppressive circumstances in which the latter was placed. For a day or two, all his cautious efforts appeared fruitless, and his own spirits were beginning to be exceedingly depressed by the forced secrecy imposed up- on him in the matter, when he received a note evidently written by the absconding party himself, in which he was partially -relieved from his anxiety, and from further prosecution of his search, by a statement therein of his re- lative's satisfaction at the immediate situation, and by a desire that he should not attempt to jeopardize the same by any present efforts at discovery. In the mean tine the society of his several new-made acquaintances in a measure dispelled our hero's disappointment at his uncle's necessary absence. Miss Stacy in particular appearedmore assid- uous than ever in her affability, and she took this opportunity of expressing her warm interest in his designs. lIe made a morning call at her parlor in obedience to her summons. Sh was charm- ingly attired in a short dress of white camnbric vith pantalettes, slippers, and blue ribbons cross- Ing openwork stockings, and her arms were partially covered with mits. The gallant Moses was a little surprised at first by this picturesque costume, but soon learned that she was about 1 making her customary visit to a portrait painter's 'studio 0who had been intermittingly engaged for the last five or six years in taking her as Inno- t eence. " Ach Mr. Winkfield!" said she impulsively, as t -our hero commenced to taper off in his compli- e ments at her charming personation, You are so noble, so generous, that one formed with a heart constitutionally impulsive as mine, can not refrain from a wish to assist you in all your re- o solves, and I would particularly proffer now to e guide you, to cherish your interests, and ever to-" e "Mv dear Miss Stacy," interrupted Moses, hardly find words to express my wish to return g this instance of your friendship.'** f l t. "Ah ! ever true to the nobler instincts of tile heart.- You feel, do you not," continued she in tender inquiry, "that you would hereafter scarcely hazard plunging alone into the turbid sea of the life about us ?" "Certainly, oh! no. That is, oh! yes, I mean. I feel in a measure the danger which you speak of," replied Moses. "As you were! Quick, quick !" exclaimed she suddenly. "Look at that fly upon the wall once more." "At the fly?" repeated Moses, in surprise. "Yes, yes, I would catch again that noble pen- sive expression, which for a moment was then arrested upon your countenance. Ai! yes, the life and loves f that innocent being, cheerily playing in blissful unconsciousness in the sunshine the livelong day, I know suggest deep emotional thought. Soon rudely torni fiom the dear partner of his daily joy, by the dastard spider, great griefs will assail him. With a yell of despair, he dies. Ah! thus it is with human life. But to proceed," continued the fair lady, and she here- upon placed herself upon an ottoman near Moses's feet in a most girlish attitude with a sampler, at which graceful posturing Moses was affected to making a compliment. "Naughty, naugity man!" continued the fair being naively pouting, and presently she playfully ran her needle into his leg. lie concealed the short utterance of personal anguish which he would like to have made at this, and she continued. " But to proceed-in the turbid sea of life, dear friend, you would feel, would you not, the need of woman's aid to sustain you, to buoy you up as you buffet the waves ?" "Above all things, I should be happy to secure that," exclaimed Moses courteously, al- thoughl he did not exactly see how woman's aid was usually necessary in natatory experiments. "At the party the other evening, as you are aware, I promptly suppressed allusions to certain relations existing between us. Bmut here between us alone, I now feel that I may confidingly promise you my fiendship," continued his fair friend, picking coyly at her sampler. " And when your plans are more definitely formed, you will let mie know them, first of all?" " Oh! yes; ipost heartily. I am proud of the opportunity," replied our hero gallantly kissing her mit as he rose to leave. "Oh1 adieu !" said she, tripping gracefully toward an inner roon as lie left the door. " Adieu, mon amni!" And she archly wafted a kiss toward him upon her taper fore-fimger. "What a kind woman! and charming, I am sure," thought Moses, as he walked down the hall from her parlor. " What warm friendship!" How in vain did he further speculate upon the means of repaying that warm friendship, when lie found her maid at his door that afternoon! "I beg pardon, Mr.-Winkfield, but Miss Stacy's compliments, and she wishes to know if I can be of any service to you in mending your clothes, sir, and examining your linen when it's returned from the wash," " Eh? God bless me! I will not trouble you, my dear; oh ! no, there is no necessity." "But Miss Stacy wishes ue," said the smiling maid. "0O dear ! but tell your mistress, Annie, that I am ceeedingly indebted to 11cr for 11cr kindness, and indeed I am to you too, Annie. There !" re- L sponded Mose6, placing something in her hand. "You are a good girl; not now, but when I feel the need I will certainly avail myself of your needle P' CHAPTER VIII. MR. WINm1i-ELD ATTENDS AN INTERESTING MEETING OF AN EMINENT CONSERVATIVE SOCIETY Two or three days after his uncle's departure Moses was finishing in the hotel reading-roonte advertisements of the last journal of themmom-mmig and casually looking out upon the mu ggyatn ios phere and slippery pavements to regard them as an actual preventive against rash adventure in the streets, when he happened to observe a Inotico of the meeting of a society entitled "TThe Nation- al Society of Political Instruction." Struck by the name, he was about making inquiries of the attendant who was noiselessly arranging the newspapers upon the table, when a gentlemnan near by gave him the desired information, and added that he was himself a member of the asso- ciation. " We have our semni-annual to-day, sir, and some extremely important measures will be brought ip for decision. I suppose that the so- ciety is now in session, sir." Moses intimated that if it was of a public na- ture lie would like extremely to attend it, and tlim gentleman in reply immediately proffered his services as chaperon. Moses knew that this gen- tiemnan was somewhat noted in public circles, md was frequently called upon to iead subscription committees for charity balls or for benefits to decayed tragedians; and upon the way, the Hon. Luke Noblock, for that was his nami, gave our hero much useful public information. "-Our society is strictly conservative, sir," said 11e to oumr hero in explaining the objects of the association in question. " Al ! yes. In medio res tulisslonus)" replied Moses, applauding the position. " We hold the true meaning of the word con- servative, sir," continued the gentleman, " to be to earefumlly avoid exercising any influence u on any body or any thimg " " But, dear me ! I should hardly think the form- ation of a society necessary to acconmplish tlhat purpose," replied the somewhat surprised Moses. "I mean ini- our owi affairs-in affairs with which we have any natural relation, or which in any way can possibly affect us, internally, domes- tically, or nationally. " But in what way, then, does the society mani- fest its usefulness ?" asked Moses curiously. By its formal sanctions of general govern- mental and ethical principles, and by its sugges- tions of improvement to foreign nations ! In this way we occupy ourselves, doing much good with- out doing any mischief. In this way have we ac- quired our fame, and we are widely known, sir, both individually'and collectively !" " Ai! I see," said Moses, apparently relieved. You must be." " The .radicals call us idiotic," continued Mr. Noblock, "aand the society is frequently charac- terized by the public as imlbecile; bumt we well kmnow such terms arec but tme mecre results of envy or ignlorance of our glorious position of comnserva- tisnm !" MR. WINKFIELD. 19 i page: 20-21[View Page 20-21] 20 MR. WINKFIELD. And as an instance of. this"conservatism, which appeared rather elastic, he stated that, in the case of the local politics of the city, in- stead of foolishly attempting the impossible task of eradicating the system of wire-working, how- ever objectionable it was, it quietly entered into the various cliques and vigorously intrigued itself. " At the last election, I was appointed, to- gether with three other members, by the society, to secure the nomination as controller for Pro- fessor Quanler, our greatest abstractionist in po- litical economy and successful refuter of Malthus, both theoretically and practically. I mention this, and the fact of our obtaining admission to the municipal convention with the expenditure by the society of fifteen hundred dollars, bor- rowed from Professor Quattler's aunt, to show you its real energy.". "And your candidate succeeded in obtaining the desired nomination ?" inquired Moses. " Well-no,"replied the other slowly. "Though the day before the ballot we obtained the pro- mises of more than two thirds of the whole con- vention, and on an informal vote obtained a fine majority, for some reason or other, when the for- mal vote was taken, our candidate didn't obtain but four votes-not another one beside our own! There was something wrong somewhere !" Moses agreed that it was really mysterious. They had now reached the place of meeting of the society, the Apollo Hall, a large apartment over a stable and carriage repository in Mercer street. A sample of the usual noise attendant upon de- liberative assemblies was issuing from the hall, at one end of'which was a deep stage, occupied in the rear by a pile &f neglected music-stands, the rest being devoted to the officers of the meet- ing. As there were of these, beside the presi- dent, a large number of vice-presidents and se- cretaries, it was well filled, especially as its occu- pants were temporarily enlarged somewhat be- yond their natural dimensions by the importance of their position. The members who were not officers were trying to look important also, by earnestly listening to a gentleman with gold spec. tacles who had the floor, and of whose remarks many of them were taking notes. Ah ! that is Professor Quattler himself !" whispered Mr. Noblock, as they took a seat in the body of the house. "I see he is remarking upon the causes of war again, and has just al- luded to the celebrated treatise of Van Botheid on the Perturbations of the Planets in connection therewith. He translated the original two hun- dred and fifty pages himself, and he added thir- teen hundred pages more of valuable editorial notes. The edition is regarded, sir, as one of the most extraordinary contributions to science of this age." Moses did not express any opinion on this, as he had never before heard of it Nor did he know that such was the profound erudition there- in displayed, it was believed only one man had ever successfully mastered it, to whom a singular experience occurred. The, original "perturba- tions" got into this persevering fellow's brains, and the doctors gave him -up as incurabIe But as he proceeded wildly to read the notes, he re- covered, His brain being partly turned by the text, the notes had the effect of turning them en- tirely round to their original position. .Professor Quattler's remarks were presently In- terrupted by the pell-mell'return of committee of the society from their committee-room to re- port progress. The chairman thereof stated that "the committee for universal peace and settle- ment of disputes by arbitration" had sat long upon the subject of the resolutions referred to them, and had hoped to shape their ends (sensation) to meet the approval of the society, but they were totally unable to agree upon what the proposed Address to all Nations should be, and asked to be discharged. At the prompt suggestion of Professor Quattler, the society would not listen to the unhappy committee's wishes, and peremp- torily ordered them to return to their committee- room. The professor then resumed, the thread of his remarks, and proceeded for an hour or so in a discourse which became so impressive that before he had half finished the president shut his eyes to meditate thereon, and nods of approval might be seen all over the house. le would probably have proceeded for an hour lon- ger, had he not been again interrupted by the peace committee. Such a noise emanated from its room that three quarters of the society awoke and sought the passage-way, in curiosity to as- certain the cause. The committee conscious of its inability to come to any agreement, had very incongruously resorted to physical force to set- tle the question of the Peace Address under its consideration, and one old gentleman had been knocked into such an extremely insensible con- dition as to lead to the belief in the minds of many that a slung shot was used during the me- ee. Order was presently restored, both in the committee-room and the hall, by the final dis- charge of the unhappy committee, and as Pro- fessor Quattiler's planetary ideas had been irre- vokably driven from his head by the interrup- tions, the president ordered the treasurer of the society to read his-report. Thereupon Profes- sor Quattler rose again and expressed his will- ingness to relieve the treasurer from the trouble by reading it himself. The society having re- ceived by the report the agreeable intelligence that they were heavily in debt, then-..proceeded to the appointment of several more committees on various subjects, upon all of which Professor Quattler expressed a desire to serve. In fact, in his incorrigible desire to play all the parts, he strongly resembled the illustrious Nick Bottom. These committees occupying most of the time till noon, a recess in the proceedings was taken, and although the announcement by the presi- dent that there would be no refection as usual, appeared to cause a momentary rage and disap- p4ontment in the hearts of many members pres- ent, they endeavored to make the recess as lively as they could with the spiritual refreshment of unofficial conversation. In this way Moses was enabled to hear many pleasing facts and anec- dotes connected with the objects and influence of the society. " Ha ! ha! Professor, you saw that last thing of Palmerston's," said a lean gentleman to Profes- sor Quattler, "That was meant as a dab at us , Pretty good! wasn't it -" "Yes, yes," said the professor, much amused. " By the way, I have heard also that the Queen isafi-aid that the society will take it seriously, and has remonstrated with the premier against a repe- tition of bon mots on us. ,I see Greenlog is not here to-day. I didn't exactly like his argument in his closing prayer at the last meeting about in ternational comity," continued he after a pause. " The doctor is apt to be crude in his opinion and loose in his statements." " It was a fine prayer, though ; one of the finest prayers ever offered to the society, I think,' said the other warmly., - "You have seen his new work on inythology, professor? Ought we to do any thing about his secretly worshiping Jupiter?9" continued the lean gentleman. "They say that some of his students have caught him a half-dozen times going through with the regular ceremonials in the Greek room of the college, and it has got to be a regular thing. It is rather radical, isn't it?" " No, sir. It is a splendid example of conserv- atism. It is certainly an older religion than the Christian, and I think we had better do nothing. If it is necessary, however, I will attend to it." . " Certainly, certainly; I suggested it to you for that purpose," said the other submissively. "Gentlemen," said another person, who had just joined the two, "gentlemen, I want your advice, What do you think of the propriety of a secret resolution deprecating the evident in- tentions of Austria toward Italy, to be privately -passed by the society and quietly handed to Na- poleon by Dayton after dinner ?" "A good thing, Mr. Small," said Professor Quattler. "I have already been thinking of that thing myself." "You have ?" said Mr. Small. "Yes, I shall introduce the resolution this af- ternoon: whether viewed as an encouragement to Napoleon or a warning to Austria, its effect must be propitiously felt." " Ha ! ha !" said the unfortunate initiator of the proposed movement in hysterical fury, walking away. " By the way, Mason, you have not heard of that rich particular of Francis Joseph's cabinet consultation on Napoleon's letter to him,"contin- ued the professor. "It is known only to a few. I got it directly from Motley,-who was in Vienna at the time. He's a hot-tempered little fellow- his flinging bis crown at Esterhazy showed that- but at bottom full of fine instincts. You know Connt Krug, his minister of finance, is extremely fat; and upon his stating to his master that he couldn't raise a kreutzer from his subjects except by forced loan, was knocked from his chair by his Majesty, who also attempted, and actually succeed- ed, in rolling him upon.a large fire burning in the state apartment. The thing washushed up. The papers merely mentioned it as a heated dispute which had occurred in the cabinet; but it leaked out from the resulting indisposition of the minister and the extraordinary smell of camphor for a week or two thereafter, hanging about his palace! Ha! ba!" Our hero had been left alone by Mr. Noblock for a few moments, the latter having retired to a secret place for the purpose of coining a few re- marks he intended to offer the society after the recess. At all these, conversations and others which he overheard, Moses's interest increased in the affairs of the society, and he awaited with some impatience the renewal of the session. When it was resumed, the first matter under considera- tion was a suggestion of a plan to he issued to dis- tressed countries for paying their debts, which, considering that it was to come from a society whose treasurer had just reported themii heavily in debt themselves, Moses was forced to look upon s as one of those eminent practical jokes with which humane members of such bodies now and then t take occasion to relieve the profound labors thereof. The plan, however, was unanimously adopted, and the president then called the atten- tion of the society episodically to a communica- tion which he had received from a benevolent as- sociation, sn association which he thought it unnecessary to designate, requesting that a col- lection should be taken up in the meeting on be- half of its charitable fund; that he would noteven present this communication to the society, as the proceedings desired would undoubtedly be a gross violation of parliamentary propriety, the society being strictly political. This announcement was received with a whirlwind of applause, and after it had died away, Mr. Noblock seized the oppor- tunity to address the chair. From the shortness of his preparation, however, he rambled so in his exordium that he shortly sat down in some con- fusion, no one apparently taking any notice of him from beginning to end, except our hero and a young man near him, who both applauded with much benevolent violence whenever he was stuck in the heaviness of the road lie was endeavoring to journey upon. Professor Quattler having by this time- vamped up the recent thunder, stolen from Small, now offered it. But that defrauded gentleman had not been idle. At his instigation the corresponding secretary immediately rose and read 'a letter to the society in his possession from France, which stated that a society exactly simi- lar to theirs in its objects and composition, estab- lished in that country, had lately been broken up by order of the Emperor, the officers exiled and their property confiscated to the government. Taking a common-sense view of this news in connection with the resolution to be dispatched to the Emperor, it seemed rather to render the latter a work of supererogation, and Small at once stated that such was his opinion. Enraged at this, Professor Quattler launched forth into an account of the obscure life of his antagonist's father, and intimated the depravity of his previous ancestors. The debate immediately assumed, in consequence, the character which is usually.lesig- nated by the reporters as "one of great strength and vigor of repartee." The aged president sniffed at Mr. Small and ordered hin to take his seat, and though the latter radically announced his intention of doing no such thing, he was con- servatively pushed off his balance amid under it by the parliamentary effort of an adjacent member to second the efforts of the president. Thereupon the resolute Small, extricating himself, created great sensation by attempting to defy both Pro- fessor Quattler and his adherent, and by openly characterizing the former as' a "Machiavellian cogger and villain !" "Send for a dictionary !" said Professor Quat- tIer, with much vehemence. "Do you apply those terms to me radically or conservatively, sir ?" " Radically, sir. I regard you radically and unmitigatedly as a cogger and villain !" repeated the excited Small. " Very well, then, I am satisfied !" replied Pro- fessor Quattler, turning over the dictionary, which a secretary handed to him. "I find, Mr. Presi- dent, the primary and radical meaning of the word cogger to be one who makes cog-wheels, and MR. WINKFIELD. page: 22-23[View Page 22-23] 22 MR. WINKFIELD. the word villain was originally applied, sir, to a poor but very respectable class of Englishmen. I am, therefore, perfectly satisfied with the epithets, and under these circumstances I am willing that any question of the gentleman's expulsion from the society turning upon his acknowledgment of radicalism in the matter shall be entirely waived," continued he with great magnanimity. A round of applause followed this lofty exam- ple of forgiveness, by which the astounded Small was undoubtedly saved from being promptly ex- pelled from the association. As that confused gen- tleman stared at his antagonist, the consideration of the resolution was resumed with renewed inter- est, and its passage was even imminent, when fate and justice interfered again by a new and most unexpected interruption of the proceedings. The outer doors of the hall were suddenly thrown open and a large body of strangers, entering with resistless violence, filled up the vacant seats and the aisles. They were headed by a female of middle age, carrying a blue umbrella, with which, as a victorious oriflamme, she waved on those who followed her. It was ascertained to be a body of radical abolitionists from Cheever's church, re- solved into a committee of the whole to assist in the peace movement of the National Society; for the feminine leader immediately informed the venerable president of this sympathetic object, and to show it, proceeded at once to pour forth in a vigorous and defiant manner a torrent of philippic eloquence'against him and the society generally for its laxity and imbecile conservatism. The faculties of the aged officer were for a time entirely absorbed by this unexpected onslaught, Aroused at last by the increased vigor of her vitu- peration, he endeavored to recover his parliament- ary comprehension. "You are a female and entirely out of order, ma'am !" exclaimed he, aghast. "I move she be put in order then," cried a humane voice. "I move she be permitted to address the society." 'The president rose to expostulate, which was an unfortunate action, for he was immediately regarded as having put the question, and he had scarcely said three words, when he was greeted with an overwhelming shout Of "Ay !" " And I move that brother Gardensarse, brother Lommeydew and sisters Alltork, Doolittle, and Quock, be added to the number of vice-presidents of the society !" roared the owner of the voice, evidently tickled with his success. At another tremendous shout of " Ay," two colored gentlemen and three females stepped upon the platform, and took their seats in the midst of the astounded vice-presidents. The aged president was fast giving way. Pro- fessor Quattler pushed toward him. With a gasp the aged president called Professor Quattler to the chair, and tottering to the music-stands, sank from view among them. " This will not do ! This will not do, gentle- men !" cried the new chairman vigorously. "It ia not parliamentary. You are not qualified as members, and I declare you out of order !" " But we are !" "I am a member 1" "I am a cor- responding member!" "I aman honorary!" "I subscribed money to the organization, and brother Bollick, there, is a member also, art thee not?" were a few of the cries which resounded through the entire body of the house at this ruling of tle professor, and a number of Quakerly-dressed gentlemen, and others in the ordinary garb of civilized beings, arose to view.I Influenced by this illusive 'appearance of right the temporary chairnian, from the confusion of his unusual position, very unwisely referred the, question of eligibility to the society, and another overwhelming shout in the affirmative put him in the very uncomfortable predicament of being obliged to declare the whofe proceedings to be in order. " Brother Garrison, you have prepared the re- solution ? Let me have it here," said the female orator, energetically, to a benevolent-looking ir- rupter beside her. The latter handed her a paper, from which, above the increasing confusion, she read, for the society's deliberation, the following brief but pointed resolution: , " Resolved, That this society is -in favor of, and will henceforth lend its aid to the immediate emancipation of the slaves; the abolition of flogging in the navy; of rum-shops, and of that dastardly tool of an infamous oligarchy, the United States Supreme Court !" The last lingering remnant of the conservative Professor Quattler's presence of mind was rapidly disappearing with the increasing noise of the antagonistic elements of the assemblage. . He had just enough left to attempt the ingenious maneuver of declaring the society duly adjourned. In his failure, he jumped wildly into the body of the house, and his place was immediately taken by one of the new vice-presidents. The resolu- tion was triumphantly passed, and an indescrib- able confusion now ensued, both on the stage among the vice-presidents as well as among the members. The rage and disappointment of the original members increased. Amid repeated noise of hustling and pushing, and cries of "Mem- bers of the society will come to order l" "Shame- ful !" WYou ass, come to order 1" "Silence!" and an endeavor of some of the wretched con- servative members to sing "Old Hundred," as a sedative, Moses crept out of the hall, after vainly attempting to reach his friend, Mr. Noblock, who was hopelessly involved in the crowd of disputants, and in a doubtful physical contest with a stout Quaker. The radical barbarians had already succeeded in their principal intention of giving to the con- servative organization a black and revolutionary aspect, from which it could not recover for six, months at the very least, and soon succeeded in the supplementary pleasantry to which they were now devoting themselves, of ejecting the National instructors by violence from their hall. The delighted Small had the intense gratification for a long while after this day of seeing his enemy, Professor Quattler, deprived of much popularity on account of the former, and there is every rea- son to believe that he was satisfied with what physically occurred to that gentleman during the latter. CHAPTER IX. MISS WAGBULL AT HOrd- Moszs essayed a second time successfully in presenting himself at Miss Wagbull's threshold without mistake. -By philosophically reflecting that it was. but a human being whose presence he MR. WI was seeking, he had managed to subdue his ro- mantic enthusiasm to a degree or two below that which is commonly known as infatuation in the thermometer of human hallucination. Still the feelings which inspired the immortal Burke in his brilliant allusion to the lovely Queen of France, filled the bosom of our hero, as the young lady received him in her drawing-room; and there is no doubt that standing forth, he would have madly extemporized an adaptation of that beauti- ful apostrophe before her, had not the page of the establishment, a rather fatuous appearing Irish boy of tender age, remained to stare at him, probably under the impression, from his majestic port and lordly mien, that he was the real hero of the latest dime novel, consumed in the entry- way, and- wastow appearing again in respectable society, in spectacles, after having mysteriously escaped from the dungeons of his enemy. "You may leave, Timothy," said the young lady. I have been reading Paradise Lost," remarked Moses to her, as he led her to a seat upon a tete- a-tete, "and do you know I cheerfully left Eden to come and see you ?" I hope you will not create such a disturbance as you did there," replied she animatedly. Oh ! no. It is another thing now. I have learned how to behave myself, in the presence of angels." I verily believe his majesty commenced with poorEve in this very way. But perhaps you had bet- ter talk in blank verse to me. I assure you I will not find fault with the measure," said the young lady- a7'ly. I feel as though I might employ an orchestra to express myself," replied Moses grandiosely. Dear me! and while you are thinking about them, perhaps I may very appropriately cry 'fiddle-sticks' to the whole subject. And tell me,' has Mrs. Fasherlidge had the honor of your so- ciety since her reception ?" I have not yet called," replied he to her. "She seemed a kind lady, devoted to religion, and yet fond of social pleasures." Yes, though extremely religious, if she is still somewhat wedded to the world, it is cer- tainly quite excusable," said the' young lady. Her childhood was passed in the acquisition of those elegant accomplishments which render the homage of society a necesity to her happiness" It is an enviable mean," continued Moses thoughtfully, " to be able to cultivate, with due regard to each, the sublime graces of religion and the tasteful refinements of social mtercourse.. I am one of those who think that the stern religious enthusiast and the worldly devotee of fashion are alike wrong." "Yes, and both often unconsciously acknow- ledge their error," added the youig lady. "The one in the yearning so often evident in their scorn for the pleasures of social life ; the other in the casual sincerity with which they seek the glorious shield of religion in affliction." "But among all the examples of the eccentri- cities of human nature," continued Moses, re- flectively, " I think that of persons-ladies mov- ing in intelligent society-whom we read of at- tempting to chemically compound fashion and religion, to be the most extraordinary. Their pastors might be well occupied in pointing out to them the ludicrous incongruity, if not the spirit- ual danger of such a course." NKFIELD. 23 "Were such a discourse elegantly composed, with brilliant metaphors and original similes, and eloquently delivered in the sweet, rich tones of tin orotund voice, they would listen to it." "You surely would not intimate, Miss Wagbull, that any woman takes an interest in religion but for such excitements? The universal suscep- tibility of woman to true religion has been regard- ed as a proof of the providential care of heaven for the best interests of man ! "Yes, and I may incidentally observe these divines have certainly reason to think so !" re- plied Miss Wagbull, smiling at Moses's earnest- ness. "Dear me !" cried Moses warmly, " I do not wish to believe that such females as'I have read of do exist. But I have read, Miss Wagbull, that in the accompaniments of real religion, in charity for the real poor, for the gross and vul- gar, the rude in speech, the base in sentiments and squalid in garments, some are wanting; that there are some by whom Charity, the divine nymph, is only imagined with the loveliness of their own faces and the graces of their own per- sons." " And how could they wish to come in contact with a sufferer," added tbe young lady, "-less ele- gant than themselves, with one who does not possess the power of pathetic and polished lan- guage and manners, to manifest the gratitude with' which the niunificent bounty has over- whelmed her?" " Well, after all," replied Moses, " even such benevolence, mingled as it is with the sentlimen- tality of romance, is better than none. Elegance or charity is not so reprehensible as the other, elegance of religion. I have read, also," con- tinued he, reverting again involuntarily, "of such women being frequently tyrants in their house- hold, regardless alike of the welfare of their children and the feelings of their husbands ind servants, and entertaining no idea but that of their own wants, their own dignity and import- ance. And while exercising prudence in manag- ing their household, they do so principally fotr the purpose of adorning their own persons with the costly habiliments constantly dictated by the arbitrary rules of fashion, with the hope of secur- ing for themselves the approbation which the world will bestow upon the brilliancy and the x- quisite taste of their decorations." The young lady again smiled at Moses's earnest- ness, but nevertheless listened to him atten- tively. "I have heard, also," continued he, "of such persons filling their private letters to absent friends with artful expressions of affection, and with the most generous and disinterested sentiments, and yet often making themselves merry with the foibles of those friends, regardless alike of their own modesty and the sacredness of friendship. How- ever, I hope you have not met with any instance of such, Miss Wagbull ?" asked Moses, with what seemed to her a real wistful hope of meet- ing with a denial from her. "Oh! no," replied the young lady, " except per- haps only when the wit was without apparent malice, and merely intended to excite the mirth of those present." " Ah ! that is perhaps pardonable. And I have heard, also," continued Moses, " of such persons being disposed to treat the experience of the page: 24-25[View Page 24-25] 24 MR. WINKFIELD. aged, and the authority of the scientific, with the superciliousness of an assumed superiority. Yes, to feign a blush, not for themselves, but at the bold presumption of these-" He was here fortunately relieved of the un- pleasant subject by the entrance of an aged lady, accompanied by a stout middle-aged gentleman with a flowing head of black hair. They both resembled the young lady sufficiently to be at once taken by Moses to be her relatives. The gentleman had a kindred smile, and the old lady, though apparently feeble in person, appeared to possess the vigorous spirit, which Moses had been delighted with in the young lady. " Why, grandmother ! have you returned so soon ?" exclaimed the latter. "Mr. Winkfield, this is my grandmother. Father, Mr. Wink- field!" The gentlema shook Moses's hand heartily, and the old lady bade him resume his seat. "cAny relation of the Chadwicks of Rensselaer county ?" asked she, somewhat peremptorily. " No, ma'am, not that I am aware of," replied Moses. "1Hum ! you have the Chadwick nose. I sup- posed you were," continued the old lady, appear- ing irritated at the disappointment. As she ap- peared about to continue her remarks, there was a deferential pause on the part of all three. "1However, it is my opinion," continued she shortly, "it is my opinion you don't know who your relations are. The young snippers of the present generation don't wish to have any, and old times and genealogy are despised by 'em," concluded she, deeply aggrieved. "I hope you will not class me, ma'am," said Moses, "with those who have cast odium upon their generation, by their flippant disregard of such matters. I feel, with you, the error of their course I "orWhere did you come from? I've never seen you before ?" asked the old lady in such a man- ner as wouldnodoubt have confused Moses sx ceedingrly, had he not noticed that both her son and her grandaughter looked as if they would like to have him humor her age. "1Mr. Winkfield is from Massachusetts, grand-. other replied the young lady. 11Well, Iam sorry for it," continued 'the old lady, ferociously. "They are a stuck-up race. However, there are some good people there. There is Governor Doolittle. I met him at Gover- nor Tompkins's inauguration ball. He is a well-in- formed gentleman, and his wife a lovely woman. But the Massachusetts people are generally stuck up and pretentious I" Moses being aware of the fact that Governor Tompkins had become a part of history, and, in fact, had been dead for about thirty years, natural ly concluded that the old lady had not exactly kept up with the progress of events, and was, perhaps disposed to consider her generation as the last ol any account upon the earth. "n What has put grandma in such a bad humor. papa?" whispered the granddaughter to her pa- rent. "I don't know. She was in high spirits at the Pompenkops before we came in- It is sin gulr, o sonr did she come in here than sin commenced to be petih. Sig soetig, Be sic. Mother, don't you wish to hear Bessie sing?' "Well, I don't mind if I do," replied the old lady snappishly, and looking severely at our hero, who was blushing in pleasure at the proposition, and had gently risen to open the instrument. " Always the way 1 They like the fiddlin', tid- dlin' accompaniment better than they do the song! What's become of the musical taste now- adays ? I would sing myself for you, sir, if I thought the young men of the present day knew any thing about expression or execution ! But no, I will not! I will not !" continued she, as if determined to subject Moses to this bitter disappointment. The exquisite sympathy of the young lady's voice, as she judiciously selected and sung a sim- ple air of the old lady's youthful days, lent beauty to the grotesque seediness of the Iflusic itself. A thrill of pleasure darted through his vitality at each note, and he expressed his gratification by running his fingers through his hair. "My darling girl!" said the old lady, as her smiling granddaughter approached her, after she had finished. Though the momentary result of this experiment upon her feelings was a dispo. sition of the venerable female to throw herself upon the young lady's neck, her irritation seem- ed presently to 'return with increased vigor. " My dear child," continued she, "never shall you leave me. 'You shall live all your life to be a comfort to. your old grandmother 1" At this point she seemed disposed to sniff at the sur- prised Moses. " By the way, mother, if Mr. Winkfield will ex- cuse business, wouldn't you like to come into the tea-room a moment? I want to consult you about, that lease," said Mr. Wagbull, as both he and his daughter observed that the old lady's dis- pleasure appeared to be rather on the increase than otherwise. " Very well-yes, I will. I am going to bed pretty soon," said the old lady, gazing at Moses again ; "and it is time for all honest people to be there." Moses indeed was beginning to feel quite un- comfortable, and would have implicitly taken the hint of the aged relic of the past had not the young lady immediately diverted his attention by some pleasant remarks upon the curiosities of old times and fashions. Although he could plain- ly see by the shadow upon the glass doors- that the old lady now and then came forward to watch him through the crack thereof, and although at one time he thought he heard the epithet "jack- anapes I" audibly expressed therefrom, he was still fain to continue; and afterward, when a ifoise of some one throwing things around, and with a cracked voice apparently pitching into a domestic in the chamber overhead, reminded him - that perhaps an hour and a half was sufficient for a first call, he still lingered to converse with the father, who was evidently much pleased with so attentive a listener to his political reflections. He even insisted upon regaling our hero there- with, as far as Madison Square, upon the latter's return home. As Moses could not resist the de- sire to interrupt the other with repeated reflec- tions upon his enjoyrent of the evening and the - exquisite voice ofthejyoung lady, the old gentle- emani suddenly informed him, with an air of ex- - ultation, that she was "the greatest cook in New- York City," an thnlft hi. Uon retahng this hotel Moses found a letter MR, WINKFIELD. 25 addressed to him from the gentleman of diminu. about as unable to agree in their theories as the tive stature who had the encounter with the cler- historians were in their facts. Still Moses had gyman in the cars, and whose misplaced enthusi- derived from these labored lucubrations of dis- asm in the cause of society he had not yet forgot- tinguished authority an excessive amount of ten. The writer, Mr. Thomas Titman, warmly Hsthetic admiration, and as the criticisms which thanked Moses for having upheld him in that at- are popularly considered best in such matters tempt at discharging his duty, and courteously are generally those which consist from beginning mitigated the further occupation of his attention to end of nothing but a varied expression of that with the reason that our hero could best inform pleasing emotion or of unmitigated vituperation, him of the result of that endeavor, and also we should be authorized to repeat here minutely whether he could return to theveity again, to state the scientific reflections which an inspection of it briefly, with safety. He frankly confessed that, this rare collection would naturally draw fro= acting impulsively upon a momentary change in our hero. But instead of this we are forced to his conviction with regard to the clergyman's chronicle a remarkable condition, into which his character, he had thought it best to immediately emotional nature was immediately thrown upon absent himself from the scene, and had retired his entrance into the room, which lasted until he for the night to an inn in an obscure part of the withdrew therefrom, and which had the effect of city. That he was subsequently drugged and rendering the use of his critical faculties of no ac- robbed in that neighborhood of every thing he count. Hanging upon the wall, directly in front of had upon his person, and had finally returned to the entrance, was a large painting of a nude figure, his native place, Dibbletown, without having ac- which, after a lightning glance from our hero, complished the original object of his mission, either by its unexpectedness or truthfulness to which was to examine, as a committee, the Cro- nature, caused him to blush violently, and drove ton aqueduct, in reference to a project entertained his gaze to another portion of the room. The by his fellow-townsmen, of introducing water into second object which then met his vision was a Dibbletown from an adjacent brook. group of sculptured nude figures, illustrating some Moses, ere he retired, penned a reply, in which low mythological fable and some high artistic he benevolently proffered his assistance to Mr. truth, which, however, had no other effect upon Titman in his official and social investigations, him than causing him to turn redder than and sent it off by the morning's mail. ever, to drop his eye-glasses, and again change his position. After recovering his presence of mind, he readjusted his'eye-glass and prepared to inspect whatever work of art should next en- counter his optical organs. He did so, and his CHAPTER X. cheeks burned with a still intenser blaze. It was CURIoUs EFFECT OF ART UPON OUR HERO. HE IN- a representation of the fable of Diana and Actmon. DULGES IN LUXURIES. A FINE FIELD FOR THE He proceeded in a lively manner. Venus rose EXEaCISE OF HISPHIILANTHROPY AND PHILo- from the sea on the breathing, life-like canvas XSOPHCI OSERVATION ISAOPENED TOA IM. -before him. Even the frame-maker. shared the triumph of the painter-.-a number of naked little .THE next morning was a bright one, for the cupids played in the golden parallelogram sur- wind had changed, and Moses, observing the om- rounding the painting. Again Danvo lay beneath nibuses crowded with merchants hurrying to the golden shower, or Musidora bathed her pol- their places of business, while others were vigor- ished limbs in the gelid fount. He retraced his 'ously walking to theirs, was inspired with the steps. It was strictly a classical collection. On briskness of the- scene. He bade adieu to the all sides he saw breathing figures, either starting glowing coal-fire and his easy-chair, and resolved from the canvas, clothed in slight apparel, or that he also would pursue at once his business of standing forth in the chaste divinity of the mar- inspecting life, Nulla dies sine lined. Jack Frost ble, clothed in no apparel at all. Nine tenths of bit his fingers and toes quite smartly at first, but the glorious embodiments were unfettered with he soon walked himself into a vigorous glow and robes of man's making. That our hero, notwith- delicious spirits, at the moment considering win- standing all the glory and the chaste divinity, ter to be the most delightful of the seasons. A actually blushed himself out of the room, we may large notice attracted his attention at the sculp- say was chiefly owimg to the peculiarity of his tured entrance of a distinguished building upon temperament ; and for his opinions upon art, Broadway, denoting that it was devoted to the which we had hoped to furnish our readers, we exhibition of some of the rarest specimens of the must refer them to some other occasion. fine arts of statuary and painting ever imported As Moses regained the entrance, lhe observed to this continent. He mounted a spacious staircase an old man with a basket of ginger-cakes, who, and sauntered into a magnificent gallery, fur- contracted with the cold, had taken refuge there- nished with all the delicate appliances of modern in, and was endeavoring to keep off further en- luxury, for the assistance of languid fashion in a croachments of- the bitterness of the day, by critical inspection of the various artistic triumphs swaying his body to and fro. which hung upon the walls or stood upon the " Well, my man ! What have you there ?" tesselated pavement. Among the numerous asked Moses, after a rapid survey ~of the scanty works which Moses had read in his multifarious and tattered habiliments of the merchant. studies were several histories of the fine arts of " Ginger-snaps, please, sir. They are good, sir. painting and sculpture-extremely inasterly when Keep your belly imice and warm, sir." The 01(1 digested separately, but rather coiifusing when fellow at that moment evidently regarded warmth taken together - and also many elucidations of as the most desirable of earthly luxuries, lie the theoretical principles thereof, subject to the rubbed his own pinched sat ch, to gie same fault perhaps, as the authors thereof were ditional humor to his old-fashioned jest., tran page: 26-27[View Page 26-27] of thoughts upon one of the most inscrutable a pleasant nod of semi-recognition toward of subjects was immediately aroused in Moses's him. mind, and so completely did it take possession of "Yes," replied Moses, " an exciting scene, sir !" him that he unconsciously expressed his ideas "Yes," replied the young man, smiling; "queer thereon by violent frowning and emphatic gestures. accident that, to the professor with the gold " Just see that costly scene above; it does sem specs !" singular," said he, striking his hand smartly with "An accident ?" his fist, "that Providence should order such dis- "Were you not there? A trap-door in the floor sensations. I've looked for their reason in vain, gave way! He happened to be upon it in the and I must say-Good gracious! I forgot," - hustle, and jumped so hard upon it in his effort " Oh! you say you would like to eat a couple ?" to restore order, it broke, toppled sidewise and". inquired the old man. let him through into the stable below, and he fell "A couple! I'll eat them all, every one of right astraddle of a horse feeding in his stall. them, replied Moses savagely. "I don't care, you Ha! ha ! the old horse must have been disgust- may throw in the confounded basket. There are dd, mustn't he ?" two dollars. Take them, and leave the snaps and In the enjoyment of the anecdote, Moses in- go about your business. Stay," continued he, as sensibly drew his chair nearer the young man, the astonished old man took the money and began who complaisantly cleared a space upon his table to slink off, eying Moses as if he felt he had in- for the former's mutton-chop. Our hero soon flicted upon the latter some deep injury "Where learned that the young man was acquainted with do you live?" Mr. Noblock, and also with his uncle, Mr. Top- The man appeared to have an indefinite idea of lady, having met the latter in business circles, where he did live. After fumbling around in his that his name was Bunter, and that he was the memory, of several places, he selected a large "invoice clerk of Tudlum, Shaw & Co., round house in Frankfort street, near the New Bowery, the corner." stating that lie had a daughter living with him "That society," said the clerk, continuing the who was bed-ridden. conversations, "may not do much good, Mr. Wink- " Very well, go on," said Moses. "Here, give field, but at any rate it does no harm, like some me four snaps; you may have the basket and the of the hypocritical ones !" rest of the snaps too. You had better eat "Hypocritical ones !" repeated Moses. them." "Yes, concerns which under the pretense of The old man began to realize a deep sense of charity, and religion too, swindle their customers Moses's generosity. "I'll pray for you! I'll pray out of their money, and what is more, out of for you!" said he, in his gratitude, and he was in their rightful senses sometimes ! The youngg earnest. He unaffectedly went through with the man here looked hastily at his watch, then at Lord's prayer upon the spot, and not only that, Moses, and continued vivaciously: "You may but wound up in his simple enthusiasm with that think I am too severe, Mr. Toplady, but I assure usual supplement of the sublime Watts of you I am not. For instance, I have personal Now I lay me," etc. knowledge of the rascality of one of these hypo- Fearful that the old man's attitude might at- writes in private life, and if you have a mind to tract passers-by and create a scene, Moses hastily hear it," continued he, as if ardently desirous of sent him off, and wended his own way down the interesting Moses, "I'll prove my position by street, the four snaps in his overcoat-pocket at- facts I by facts tracting for a block or two a keen-scented cur, Moses intimated his desire to hear.them, and who was also actively engaged in procuring a pre- the other proceeded. canionslivelihood in the public thoroughfares. "Well, I have a friend, you know, who is se- cae turned toward Ittner's in Grand street, for cretly engaged to a Brooklyn young lady, sir, the purpose of procuring a noon-day sandwich. and I am, confident the old folks-that is, her Being urmore curious than hungry, however, he was father and her aunt, you know-if they were left led into a smaller place near by. It was a to their own real feelings, would permit him to youthful establishment compared with the other, marry her; although he has been brought up as and perhaps was not much over-visited by a kind or sort of Swedenborgian, and can't very customers. For this reason, no doubt, when well be a Presbyterian, -and says lie won't be, un- Moses entered a young man who was standing til he has examined into it for a few years. But near the counter therein, rushed to the rear and no matter for that, what I want to say is, that a cried out excitedly to some one down-stairs, rekerend rascal, a sample of the goods I referred "There is another one I another one has come in, to, has been for a long time worming his way Williams !" gradually into their affections, until he has got to Moses quietly seated himself at one of the be a partner in the firm, sir. Yes, lie is there little tables, when another party, evidently the three quarters of his time, and lives there, in fact, cook and partner, hastily presented himself from as a kind of chaplain and escort to meeting. below, to be optically assured of the event. For some reason or other, probably because I Moses at once ordered a mutton-chop, to subduo havo openly oxproggod my contempt and that sort the ill-concealed agitation of these parties, and ot thing for him, he opposes the match, and he then looked about him. There was another per. has succeeded in prejudicing Susie's father and son in the room partaking of a repast, and upon aunt so much against Me, that the last time my a second inspection he observed that it was the friend was there, the old gentleman told me oung man who sat near him at the Conservative plainly, not to come inside of the house again. Society's meeting of yesterday. Moses again My friend is very unhappy, and feels crazy about looked at him, and he in return looked familiarly it. I am kind of unfitted for business by it, amid atMoss."Ahem!~ I believe I met you at the losing time for nothing." meetings yesterday," said he, as our hero made "But have-has your friend no relatives or MR. WINKFIELD, 26 I 9r acquaintances, who might by theirpersonal efforts apartment near him in the hotel, and who ap- assist himi" asked Moses sympathetically. - peared to be himself occupied by a melancholy No. Personal efforts are of no use, nothing demon. _The unhappiness of the gentleman, can be done unless it be to open. the old folks' Moses romantically attributed to the influence of eyes first, and make 'em believe lie is a rascally high art, and frequently sought his presence for loafer -" the express purpose of imbibing himself the rav- "Just so. That is what I mean, to divest this ishingr feeling. By the constant contemplation fellow of his unrighteous power !" continued of the uncomfortable painter's countenance and Moses warmly. "I should hold it the duty of interspersed attempts to smoke his meerschaum those near by to use their efforts in crushing such pipe, Moses generally succeeded in reducing his wicked'imposture-such sacrilegious prostitution usually high spirits to the very last stages of of the pacred garb of religion; not only for your misery, and in this condition, the two might be friend's sake, sir, but generally, for the sake of frequently found together, looking dolefully into society and hurmamity at large !" the fire, or drinking a glass of wine in dejected "It is not so easy to do it, Mr. Winkfield," abstraction. replied Mr. Bunter, and here lie proceeded to re- " No. You don't say so ?" exclaimed our hero late many incidents illuminating .the case, and one afternoon, as Mr. Pinksitt, the artist, was going to prove undoubtedly that he was quite alluding to some of the peculiarities of town life correct in both his estimates of the rascality and in endeavoring to give Moses a more thorough power of the hypocrite, and the weakness and insight therinto. piety. of the honest people to whom that indi- " I assure you," replied the other, "there are vidual had attached himself. repeated instances here in New-York society, of And if it wasn't for that very thingg" con- women who are quietly awaiting the decease of eluded lie, "of leaving the- old folks in such their advanced husbands, in order that they may hands, Susie says she would consent to run revert with the property thereof to their original away- lovers, who are as quietly awaiting for that hap- "She is a brave and honorable girl, and I re- py event !" spect her for that. You have interested me " Lord bless meud what a dreadful position-for with these incidents, perhaps merely to illustrate the unhappy husband, if lie should discover it!" society, but allow me here, sir, to express my "IHa ! ha! Perhaps some of them know be- earnest sympathy for that young lady and your- forehand. They are generally rich money-bags, self-I mean your friend who is so unhappily who are experienced in buying and selling, and placed." they ought to know what the young souls are Thank you.' they purchase !" said the artist satirically. And allow me to observe, were I called upon " But what a dreadful position for young souls to assist their just efforts to thwart the designs of voluntarily to assume !" this evil-minded person-as from what you have "My dear sir, young souls assume many foolish related, he undoubtedly is-I could not consei- positions because they are young, and old ones entiously decline," said Moses, striking an eni- because they are old, for that matter. Let m phatie blow upon the table. ' tell you an anecdote of a person whom I'happen The young man grasped Moses's hand warmly to know was concerned in one of these affairs. at this characteristic speech, and formally revealed Ila! ha! when I think of it, it assumes the shape himself as the party to the affair. On the spot of the ridiculous. A young friend of mine in our lie further confided to him the name of his pro- profession," continued the artist confidentially, posed father-in-law, their place of residence, the " while he was studying in Rome, met a young number of inmates of the house, the numberless lady with whom he was accustomed in infancy to virtues of his darling Susie, the daily habits of play bo-peep and tea oi his mother's back-stoop." every one of the family, and in fact of the " Stoop ?" Dutch grocer at the corner, and of the milkmam; . " O his mother's rear portico. This young and even alluded feehingly to the fact of a pet cat lady had unwillingly married a retired naval ofli- being constantly present in the front-basement cer thrice her senior, extremely rich, and of sus- window. . picious temperament. Being frequently in the Moses in turn invited him to dinner, and the studio of my friend, she exercised her generosity young victim of the wiles of the reverend wolf, upon hinm, and in return therefor lie gratefully during that repast, made an appointment with fell im love with her. She had been expecting Moses for an introduction to the young lady something all her life, and this was it. She was above mentioned, as a confidential adviser ani of vivacious temperament, and at first, she pro- assistant hypocrite-fighter. posed that they should jump together from the Thus casually was a new field of benevolence lantern of St. Peter's. Her infatuation being and philosophic observation opened for the ar- toned down to the religious state, she next suig- dent exploration of our hero. tested the idea of running away into the interior of Africa, and founding a chaim of mienionary Sab- bath-schools from one end to the other of that delightful but unenlightened continent. After- CHAPTER X1. ward she proposed a heavy chiaroscuro, to appeal MR. PINKSITT POINTS A MORAL IN. A PERSONAL' to the generosity of her spouse, and asking him TALE. MOSES coiMES NEAR MAKING THE LATTER to do the gentlemanly thing and die, or let her TL MOE OINE A ITE - have a separation in some other way from him. TINUED.But after all, both these young people were child- D -reni of honor, and they kept the old gentlemani as DUaING th1e absence "of his. uncle, Moses be- respectably happy as possible iin his domestic caine acquainted wih an artist, who occupied an feelings. Perhaps hue did not possess originally MR. WINKFIELD. page: 28-29[View Page 28-29] MR. WIMKPIFELD. a very suspicious nature; but as she, being a lively "'My dear Captain,' said my friend jocosely, and headstrong character, had told him that it 'I advise you to sell out if it is going to be man- was the height of infatuation to think she could aged as it has been and is now!', love him, he naturally concluded that if she did "'Is now?' reiterated the obstinate marine. not him she would some one else. His sense of 'Why; d-n your eyes, stick to painting. I honor which he ought to have thought of when he will bet you five hundred dollars, sir, I can start married her, thus became extremely morbid. -He from here to-night, wintry and sleety as it is, go had heen continually prowling about, and been to Albany, write a letter to you announcing my, discovered with extraordinary missiles of destruc- anchoring there, receive your answer before start- tion in all sorts of foolish places, and he had not ing back, and then make the return voyage before been married two years before he had permanent- to-morrow noon! Yes, sir!, ly lamed in a duel a fast young fellow whom he "'My dear sir!l' my friend proceeded, 'I am overheard talking flippantly of his conjugal rela- unable to continue the contest i that way, tions, and expelled from the country two French 'but--' counts and a German pianist, who had comment. "'So you are; d-n it, I'll advance you the five ed to obey the instincts of their troubadouric na- hundred on your bottom. Stay; I want to con- ture in his household. What was originally a vince you now. -I'll tell you what 1ll do. I'll- pleasing excitement became afterward a mania, I'll-d-n it !-I'll bet you five hundred against and he used to confide to our young friend in the a fulllength of my wife, that I'll do it. The train studio at Rome, in his more pleasant monients, a will start in a half an hour from now,-and I'll go, new method which he had invented of skinning confound me if I don't !' alive and which he proposed trying upon the first "'Agreed! agreed !' cried my friend. 'Though subject that was properly offered him. The art- such a night as this-' ist was continually running the danger of being "'Wife, my carpet-bag. John, my carriage. offered up as that subject, by the headstrong Come along, and tow me to the depot! cried nature of the lady, and when they all returned to the aroused stockholder.I America last year, the latter had reached so far "And off he did actually go, not only preparing in her affection for the artist as to be in her turn for my friend an ample opportunity to calm and jealous of him, and she frequently threatened to instruct his impassioned female acquaintance, but invoke for him the fate, which he was beginning even having made the arrrangement to inform him to think he merited, for this platonie, but hazard- by letter oC the exact moment he might be ex- os speculation. The husband had always look- pected back. Ha! ha!I ha!I Do you see the ed upon him up to' this moment, as a straightfor- point?" continued Mr. Pinksitt, forgetting for ward, agreeable artist, with no passion in his the moment his melancholy. "And in addition composition but for his profession, and used fre- to that, authorizing my friend to see his wife quite quently to invite him to dine in company with frequently upon the subject of the portrait. himself and his wife. But the lady's ardent nature However, he was tired of the impropriety. But had at last obtained so much the mastery of her it was an original thing, wasn't it ?" prudence as to place their secret in jeopardy, the "Yes, extremely ingenious," replied Moses. slightest suspicion of which no doubt would have "I must laugh at it, though I disapprove of the ultimately exposed them both to extreme danger. cause in which it was effected. I certainly disap- At last the jealous habits of the captain increased prove of the cause as French and unnatural. Ha., to such an extent, that he was disposed to watch ha! yes; very funny !" 4 his wife's movements with the closest scrutiny. The artist here suddenly ceased laughing as a The artist cautioned her, even forbade her at- stranger entered the room, an elderly gentleman tempting to meet him -alone, as a matter of the with a pair of close-cropped side-whiskers, and a highest importance and yet, on the other hand, rather resolute expression about the nose. he was constantly eubjected to the fear that her "Hallo, Pinksitt, how are you ?" oed he. pent-up feelings would explode in some overt act "Excuse my sailing you down in this way. I which would be fatal, To be able to obtain beg pardon, you are engaged." private interviews with her, fbr the purpose of "No, no," replied Mr. Pinksitt. "By the allaying her critical feelings, had become rather way, allow me, Winkfield, my friend, Captain serious and difficult. Grimble.". "1Now after all this background, I'll put in the "How do you do, sir ?" said the stranger, salut- main points with a throw of the brush. They ing Moses. "Blast your eyes, and holystone were at dinner. ;our quarter-deck, Pinksitt, what have you been "'Pshaw,' said my friend, 'you talk about the doing for a month? I can see the barnacles activity and public spirit of that railroad. ' I have growing upon you! Wife saw you at Forrest's knvn some of my friends to be all day on the benefit last night. I was so interested in the road from here to Albany-a day and a half there play, that I didn't. Fine play, Othello, sir," con- and back!' tinuedhe turning to Moses. And fine example, " The husband was a stockholder in the road sir !"1 which was the subject of conversation. "Yes," replied Moses, much taken with the- "'What!' said he indignantly. 'Absurd! stranger's cordial manner. Such ridiculous stories as that are blasted sailing "I hold a true gentleman is bound to at once athwart-bows by the bloody, rival concern. Ab- protect his honor and the honor of his family and surd!' ancestors," continued the other. " That is what "They are absurd from the fact of their being pleases me in the play. As a Grimble, I say it" real, replied my friend. ' " Though it is dreadful, it would seem, apart 'D--n it ! I know better !' roared the hus- from the laws of society, to be right, when his sus band in a great rage. ' I own stock in that picions are properly confirmed," suggested Moses road, and-' , 'philosophically. -I 29 MR. WINKFIE. Society is much better for it; much better !" found him in waiting. The half-holiday bad been replied the stranger. willingly accorded by the head, who had even Singular !" here said Moses, who had remem- kindly volunteered to go to the Custom-House and bered the coincidence, and was smiling at it. do up in person the usual perjury which fell "Just before you came in, my friend, Mr. Pink- ordinarily to his clerk's lot. They soon crossed sitt was relating-Mr. Pinksitt, suppose you--" that noble arm of the sea, the East River, and "Winkfield-!" interrupted the artist quite sud- landed after an agreeable though somewhat denly, "just draw a whiff or two from this pipe monotonous voyage of two minutes at the foot again. I know you do not like smoking, but this of Fulton street, in the city of churches. The Turkish tobacco is exquisite !" chief objects '.of interest which lie observed in "Don't like smoking . I don't know how I that busy thoroughfare, appeared to be the extra- should sail along without my segar after dinner," ordinary number of bright-faced young ladies cat- said the representative of the Grimble race. ing candy therein, the equally extraordinary num- "Pahaw ! Pinksitt. I like to have forgotten my her of other females apparently suffering from charter. Mrs. Gritable sent me round to ask you tooth-ache, and the bitter cold weather. "This to dinner to-morrow. You have not dined with must be a very pleasant place in summer !" said us since you lost your bet, you know! Ha! ha! he, shivering. How about our railroad now, eh?" As they passed the Episcopal church in Mon- Moses started involuntarily. tague street, several persons closely observed "Yes, you rather had the better of me there, I them to see if they took notice of the famous must confess," replied the artist, at whom Moses stained windows thereof, and when they did not now gazed with increasing agitation. "Wink- hatred and anger were plainly visible on the faces field, I see that pipe does not agree with you after of the unhappy citizens. As they walked along, all, It certainly makes you a little pale. Let Moses, who had become thoroughly convinced o' me take it. (Take care, you will betray me !)" the rascality of the hypocritical minister, pro- whispered he hurriedly to our bewildered hero. ceeded to exhaust himself and his companion "So it has-really-it has muddled me. I also, by a tremendous philippic against hypocrisy feel-ha! ha !-as if I had not a drop of blood in general, which ended in his feelings getting in my veins !" stammered Moses, shuddering, the better of his intellect, as shown by various "Let me open the window," interrupted the vague anathemas and- violent gesturva utterel benevol nt Grimble. and made. No, no, replied Moses, recovering his presence "What do you think of my killing him ?" asked of mind. Singular, that I should have that young Bunter, infected by these amplification. vertigo just then !" His business habits of mind were plainly visible "But you are better now, oh ?" continued the in this proposition. captain. By the way, suppose we have the "Killing him! Elh?" asked Moses somewhat honor of your society, too, to-morrow, Mr. Wink- startled. field. Happy to see you." "Yes. Putting him out of existence. Doesn't "Really, how unfortunate. It will be impossi- lie deserve it ? Wouldn't I be doing a duty to ble ." replied Moses, with the air of having a my fellow-beings by kicking the fellow entirely most vexing preengagement for the very hour of out of the shop ?' the captain's dinner. While Moses felt that the proposition of his "Well, some other time. I am jealous of the companion was a lofty prompting of nature, honor and hospitality of the Grimbles, and I shall such were his pr(jtudices in favor of the usual take it as a personal affront, if you do not afford forms of society, that he felt himself called upon us the pleasure some other time," replied the to dissent therefrom. captain with growing affability. "My wife says I "Very well !" said Bunter with a resigned air am jealous too, and I wish to prove to her, the "let us say no niore about it. I have often thought lttle craft, tha I'm not the pirate she takes me about it. I only wanted a little encouragement, to be, ha! h !" and thought you might perhaps give it to ic!" Pshaw, she is as jealous as you are, Captain !" "No, I advise you to dismiss it from your mind interposed Mr. Pinksitt pleasantly, at once. I can't approve of it at all. Not at all," " Well, good by, as revoir. Remember, Pink- continued our hero emphatically. sitt-to-morrow at five." " Very well. She lives in the second house "Certainly, adieu. Ta-ta, Captain !" around the corner from here'!" said Mr. Bunter- "0! dear, I an so glad he is gone 1" cried somewhat nervously, as they reached a little gro- Moses, sinking into a chair, and wiping the per- cery store situated at a corner, with many large spiratiron from his brow. mansions amid spacious gardens in the neighbor- W ell, on the whole, I really think I am too," ?hood. "1Excuse me a iomient," said lie, enter- said the artist. imig the store and exchanging a rather mysterious .... word or two with its proprietor. " I scoin to do any thing underhanded, and so would Susie," con- CHAPTR Xtinued lie as ho returned, " but an arrangement CHAPER Xis absolutely necessary." MOSES PROCEEDS TO SURVEY THE PILD oPENED This delicate manner of alluding to the fact, TO HIM iN CHAPTER TEN. HIE IS HmGHLY PLEASED that lie had quietly bribed thme Dutch proprietor WITH THE AMIABLE CHiARAcTER OF iS sELF-CON- nforesaiid to watch tme daily miovements of the STITUTED wARDS. family, was duly appreciated by Moses. S".The fact of it is, I might as wel avoid a row ACCORDING to his engagement with young with the old gentlenian, you know. I believe I tBunter at dinner, Moses repaired at the appointed told you lie is rather disinclined to have mec about," time to the former's counting-house, where he whispered Mr. Bunter as they mounted the step's page: 30-31[View Page 30-31] L 30 MR. WINKFIELD. of a lareoldfashionea house in Holly street, the mayor's back-kitchen at the dinner hour for with broad windows and pleasant grounds to look the same interesting purpose. at therefrom. " I don't care any thing about the property. I A round-faced young lady with flaxen curls, am willing to work !" said the faithful Tom, who had evidently been on the watch, quietly " but Susie is right about leaving the old folks, opened the door. and I'll stand by her until I die, sell me as dam- Papa is at the bank and aunt Jane and Mr. aged if I don't." Rascal are off ahan on a i tour through "That is right.' Come and stand by me now, Brazil at the Cooperinstitute," said she. my dear, for I want to pull your hair. No, no. Ah Susie! let me introduce Mr. Winkfield to By the way, go and look out of the window, Tom- you, Mr. Moses Winkfield. Our friend, you my. I want to talk with Mr. Moses for a mo- yo, MI Mr. Wneinificantly n mont," said the young lady, suddenly abstracted. nowam so happy to see you again, Mr. Wink- " That is my diplomacy, Mr. Winkfield; when I field. I say again, for do you knowI have seen wish any one to go away, I tell them so." you a thousand times before, hovering over Tom " There is something which I think you ought and mc with wings" cried the young lady viva- to know at once, Mr. Winkfield," continued she, ciously. tupon my word, I have, in my as Tom delicately withdrew, " and I have con- -cios Uo'wcluded to tell you before I forget it. The other Moses made a profound bow, and looked in day-now don't tell Tom, will you ?-the other such a pleased manner at her, that it increased day I was in the library when the Rev. Mr. her fancy for him at once. Hunkvfell came in very suddenly, and after look- "e0 Mr. Winkfield do let me call you Mose !" ing siilingly at me and observantly at the door, continued she. It is so confiding " lie rushed up to me in an impressive manner. I Our hero at once gallantly gave her general am positive lie was going to attempt to kiss me, permission to call him sy thing, porvided he for he seized my hand and when I drew it from might be known by it as her devoted admirer. him and deliberately boxed his ears he did not mgTom became poetical about you and called seem surprised at all. But such is his insolence, you a matchless gentleman. So do , but Idon't which, alas, has become only too powerful in this wish you to remain matchless long, and I suggest house, that when I looked menacingly at him, he Tom's cousin in Seneca county! Oh! how crazy smiled in contempt at what influence I might she'd be if she saw you! I would be myself, if it possess with my own father and aunt; just think were not for poe old Tom's having carried my of it.' It is horrid. A married man! I am so boos for me, going home from school "r rad I have some one to whom I could reveal "I told her all about you, you know, said this! Tom would become desperate if I told him Tom, in high spirits himself, of it, and when I think of it I feel-you know- "Yes, and I've been getting up such a dinner so hortid !" as for you, Mr. Winkfield, in imagination, you un- What!' gasped Moses in asemi-speechless derstand, when we are settled. The first cull- way. Let me-utter y abhorrence of that nary talent of Brooklyn will be devoted to it, and wretched man! Let me-" you are to have the extraordinary privilege of "And on another occasion, continued the en- kissire the great cook herself when it is finished, courted young lady; "I was-however,;I sup- namely, the honorable and much obliged Mrs. pose you don't care about that incident." Tonm Bunter." " Certainly !" suggested Moses. "It would be That dinner, were it with but a crust of bread, better to have his character weiglIed by all the would be fit for kings!" said Moses feigning great factw." solemnity and laying his hand on his heart. "It was about mny garter. You a5ce my con- "She's a little enthusiastic, Mr. Winkfield"~ founded garter becoming untied-" said Tom apologetically. "But repress your feel- "Never mind. It is immaterial!" replied Mo- ings, Susie, and let us calmly discuss theyprojects 505 hastily. "And let me at once state, Miss i before us."sTomlins, that I intend that fellow shall be pun- "You are a good boy, Tom, always so sober ished, first of all, by an ignominious dismissal and steady, and I will," continued the young from this house, and then-" ady, slapping her friend upon the shoulder. "Yes, At this moment a very loud blast upon a fish- let us see whate we three fellows can do? Bt horn was heard, apparently coming from the you will come and see me some other time won't neighborhood of the corner grocery. It was the you, and tell me what you think of Tom ?" faithful signal which announced a necessary close With a wave of the hand worthy of the old of the conference. school, Moses promised himself that pleasure "O'Lordy " said Mr. Bunter, retreating sim- froquently. So much was he pleased with the ultaneously from the window. '"There's sthe simple reliance of the young lady, that he at once carriage !" assumed a parental air over them both, pretend- My goodness! fAut Jane and her confes- inv to attentively inspect the pictures upon the sor come back from Brazil s exclaimedt-the walls, or increasing his emphasis in his remarks, young lady, running bto the curtains. durtmg their subsequent little love passages., He It was thought best that Mr. Bunter should saw that, notwithstanding the liveliness of the avoid the approach of the persons referred to young lady she possessed much common-sense by Susie, anid as they had rendered his exit by and female tact; and as she appeared also to have the hail unavailable, because they had stopped a deep affection for her father and aunt, anid had at the front-door thereof, he quietly stepped into property depending upon her movements, he dis- a small fuel-closet in the apartment to await intil missed from his mind the romantic plans of imme- he could leave the mansion unobserved byt them. union consummated upon thee spt or ofa seen tha it wo l pas besinjudicious fo him, MR. WINKFIELD- .4 I 31 also, to disclose himself, until the plans were more matured. He therefore generously under- took to place himself for the moment beneath the old-fashioned sofa upon which he was sitting, not deeming it undignified or improper, under the circumstances. He had scarcely succeeded in this, when the parties at the door, consisting of a solemn lady, weighing between three hundred and four hundred pounds, and a gentleman of ordinary dimensions, came into the room,'Pot slowly or with the customary gait, but with all the evidences of a panic. The gentleman pushed violently past the lady, ran wildly around the centre-table, and then, without uttering a word, pursued his way through the rear door into the hall, from which he rapidly sought an apartment on the other side. The lady tottered toward the sofa, beneath which our hero lay concealed, and upon which she fell with all the inanimate force of thorough consternation. The bottom and springs of the seat were broken by this, and the whole superimposed weight was precipitated upon the person of our hero, who was conse- quently squtezed within an imch of his existence. With the theory that an untimely earthquake had suddenly taken place, he would have gasped a suffocated appeal to be rescued from the dread- ful pressure of the ruins, had he not heard an indistinct voice from the mass resting upon him. There is a person at the door begging for charity, who has had the small-pox !" observed that voice in accents of terror. Enlightened by these words upon the nature of the situation, he endured for a few moments thereafter with heroic magnanimity the severe' torture, convulsively endeavoring to alleviate the same by reflections upon the grand but inexora- ble laws of gravitation. The young lady hastily rang the bell for aid. The domestics came, and with the assistance of the gentleman, who had by this tune properly taken the prophylactic step of drinking a glass of brandy from the medicine. chest in the library, the lady was removed from the sofa and ultimately to her room. The dis- eased party at the front-door in the mean time had retired therefrom, disgusted at the failure of his charge ipon the benevolence of the man- sion, and at a proper opportunity shortly after- ward the two conspirators left also, the breath- ing organs of our hero not being as efficacious as usual, and many of his bones aching severel-, CIIAPTER XIII. MR. THOMAS TITAN. M'SS VISITS THE REGIONS OF THE NEW BoWERY AND CREATES AN EXCITE- MENT THERE. Ma. TITMAN, the noble Dibbletonian gladiator of society, arrived at the Evercroft House, and im- mediately elected himself as a temporary follower of our hero. In an interesting autobiographical sketch he illuminated the pleasant fact that he was an older alumnus of the college from which Moses had graduated. "Class of '51," said Mr. Titman. " Great times Swe used to have. We were regarded by the whole faculty as the most talented class that ever had appear ed in the college. I remember onde, ha ! ha ! when four of us threw a log of wood through hi one of the juniors' windows, and knocked down half the class ! Hodle never liked us, and re- k paid us one day. We had tied a goat in his chair. He came in and seeing the aniinal, says lie, ' Gentlemen, I perceive you have at last a teach. I er whom you can appreciate!' and for a week after we vere compelled by the faculty, in sec- i tions, to feed our new professor with cabbage leaves, to comb his beard, and pay him other delicate toilet attentions, two of us being special- ly detailed to sit solenly during the hour at ei- ther side of him as assistant professors, ha! ha I" From these and other anecdotes, Moses soon learned that his lively friend had not been much given to study during his collegiate career, that his stay there had been abruptly terminated be- fore the usual period, and that he now profes- sionally affected architecture, engineering, and drawing. As the conversation proceeded, Moses was captivated by his vivacity, and his own man- ner in turn quite won the confidence of the little man, so much so that after the latter had refilled is glass with wine a second time lie revealed to our hero his susceptibility to female influence by intimating that his temporary absence from Dib- bletown was partly to allay an affair of that na- ture, in which he was involved with two sisters, who apparently had both haplessly fallen into the same infatuation. " They are large, noble girls, both of 'em)" continued Mr. Titman. " Taller than I. And such flow of feeling ! Something so fresh about them. Such artless envy, such fighting and jeal ousy, and. all on my account! I don't know which one to take. I am really puzzled, they are' so nearly alike in their affection ; and such is their harmony and sisterly love in all matters excepting this, that I've felt it my duty to give neither any encouragement, and in fact to draw off to avoid breaking tip this lovely tenderness. My lot is hard. I've either to give up my love or commit-this crime of-" " It is certainly an unpleasant position to be placed in," interrupted Moses sympathetically. Indeed it is. I did once temporarily make, up my mind and go so far as to rashly write some poetry to one of them, offering myself. She misconstrued the sentiment, however, as it was in poetry, and it passed over. If it had been in prose, she would have understood it." " The merit of poetry nowadays does seem to consist it its unintelligibility," said Moses. "It's much easier to write than prose," replied Mr. Titman. " Half tie time you don't have to bother yourself with the ideas; it is only the sound you must look to. There was a phrase in mine about her having ' some one to look 7p to.' I meant it metaphorically, of course, but she must have applied it literally and got mixed up its th-at way ! Thus running on, the evening cheerfully passed, during which Moses became thoroughly acquaint- ed with his pleasant fellow-alumnus' character. The next morning after breakfast our hero pro- posed quietly ascertaining t1he true condition of the ginger-snap man. At the hotel door lie had a momentary conversation with a wealthy banker, who as about taking his carriage. sirh" saidot should be etnjoimed contenttment, sirt"osaid theinatueman in r eply to Moses inti- tented mind is a continual feaster si. Teach 'em page: 32-33[View Page 32-33] 32 sir. Lok at me, sir, I am con- mouth was wide open during the interview, she to be contentedtemade no use of it in any other way; so as there This was certainly unanswerab end Moses, was an Irish groggery on the street floor of the declining the other's, proffer of his vehicle, went corner house, our hero applied therein. upon his way. In proceeding~ through the "It must be on the fourth flight, two doors be. Bowery, he met Judge Pootoops, who bore the low," replied the keeper. 11Jimmy, there is an suspicious looks of having quite recently eman- old man and crippled grral living in therfourth ated from a refreshment room. flight, back, an't they, at 640 ?"1 Ah sir! how do you this morning, sir ?" As the gentleman of leisure appealed to, named said the latter, hastily wiping his lips and assum- Jimmy, answered in the affirmative, Moses pro- ing an affable air. I am glad to meet you ceeded to No. 640, which was a populous tene- under other auspices than those of our lat meet- ment house, and successfully ascending to the- ung, sir." tm fourth story opened the door of the back room. "iThank you, indeed I am too, sir, replied There was a white-painted line across the floor, Moses, laughing.d I t s r and a slatternly brawling Irish woman appeared "Cold morning," said the judge to be quarreling with another and deformed fe- "Yes, sir, and it is unpleasant to think of how male of mature age, about crossing it. There many poor yet innocent people there are suffer- were also a half-dozen children of different ages ing at this moment from its rigor," continued therein. Moses impulsively, as they walked along to- "ell, yoong man, what will yez have here ?" gether. asked the masculine female, as Moses paused in "gYes," replied the judge, "you won't have to spite of himself, momentarily overcome by the go far to -find instances of that. Down here in unpleasant. sights, sounds, and smells, of the the New Bowery there is enough of that sort of house which had seemed to increase as he mount- thing." ed toward heaven. I proposed visiting that region" continued "Will you have the kindness to tell me if there Moses.p In fact, I was upon a little errand of is a person by the name of Lear living on this relief, sir. There is a decrepit old man with a floor? He is an oldwhite-haired man, and he bed-ridden daughter residing somewhere in sells cakes in Broadway near Grand," said Frankfort street, whom I am anxious to find." Moses. "Charity is a noble thing. A noble thing, "Heh 1" said the woman, looking at him with sir," said the judge. As a political measure, the jocose air of a person feigning deafness. too, ive always advocated it. A good many Does he live here ?" reiterated Moses. votes are made, sir, in this way." "Oh! ye-ces, but he bain't here now. He voYes, I take great interest in these people, bain't here now, sir," continued the woman, bow- really," Moses proceeded. ing and apparently attempting to imitate Moses's "Ah !" said the judge, coughing slightly. polite manner. "The daughter good-looking, I presume." " And his daughter-" "I don't know. I have not seen her. I " Oh! his dather! Yes. She be's out, too! merely wish to ascertain her condition and that He be's out and she be's out ." of her father," replied -nses. "Ah! on their business, I presume." " A very praiseworthy action, sir, on your "He be's a training' to-day!" part. Charity is one of the loftiest of our in- "Training ?" inquired Moses. stints, and its practice is elevating, sir. "oHe's at Bill Jones's now fornenst the stable, "It they are worthy, I propose imteres1in tn on the nixt block, and Bill is training is pup by some friends in their behalf. Perhaps you v, ould settin' him on the would man He gets a saxpence like to join in their relief, sir," said Moses, hon- the forenoon for it nla estly concluding from the judge's extollation of "Setting a dog upon the old man!" exclaimed the virtue of charity, that it would be a piece of Moses, incredulously. benevolence, which would be highly appreciated Ye see, young man, being' would it don't ache by him, to offer him the opportunity. The judge, his would legs much toh ite 'em wid the dog's however, evidently believed himself to be al- tooth !" claimed thectonan, with a slight ap ready sufficiently elevated, for he did not seem in- pearanee of facetious deception in her counten- clined to acceptthis proposition. And not only ance. this but he presently alluded to a pressing en- "Good God! what a dreadful way of earning gagement which he had, and bidding our hero a pittance!" soliloquized Moses. adieu abruptly, left him at the next corner. "And ye comto to help 'emn, young man! I ad- Having passed the junction of the New mire yez for it! I admire yez," and here the Bowery and Frankfort street, Moses commenced female took himi by the arm and turned him to makeinquirienkfortthe ancient peddler's resi- around, with strong looks expressive of that dence by accosting a boy in the doorway of the feeling. first large house adjacent to the corner. As the This was a rather rough way of showing it, child did not appear to know where he lived him- but Moses regarded the demonstration as well self or where his father wasor whether he had meant. any even, Moses concluded he was the neglected "Now lave 1"' said the woman. offspring of som mariner addicted to long voy- "oMa'am o" ages, and proceeded to apply to a heavy-looking "Go out of this," continued the woman with an girl, andpprntlrecently immigrateay who w apearance of excitement, foi she uttered a large wending her way through the passage of the oat andtilld- lagreiht house with a pail of water. In answer to his "I intwendd"atocinerpdshnd started in astoishmen at im. Tho oug 1hler thereupon she administered a powerful blow in k' I I Moses's stomach and another one instantly upon Moses assented his nose. The astonished Moses extricated his "But it is not so cold as nigt bef ls" a rom e grasp n backed to the door. The continued the yolwg man, as Moses ordered a children set uip discordant yells, but the woman's couple of glasses of ale, which they drank by the voice rose above the din, in a string of dreadful stove. "There was a fire in Division street. oaths amid vituperation. They had absolutely to throw hot water upon it. "But, my dear madam !" roared our hero, in- heated by the steamers; yes, sir. It ran down stiuctively retreating, as she pursued him with from the roof and froze in icicles. A fireman rapid and successful lunges, and endeavoring in who slipped, was frozen to one of them by the vain to obtain a hearing from the unreasonable hair of his head. They set the roof on fire taain being, against whose powerful onslaught he felt to melt him off, but it was no go. He was finally he might not otherwise defend himself. His chiv- knocked off with a pole, and fell on a feather alrous efforts at deliverance were ineffectual. He bed." was knocked against the wall and balusters of Moses politely expressed his incredulity at the staircase, and pulled back and pushed for- this singular occurrence, and then proceededto ward thereon, in what is called by military peo- thank the stranger again for his late interference ple a running fire, until he reached the lower in his behalf. In reply, the stranger very feel- hall. There a large mob collectedafrom the rooms ingly asked Moses if e had now fully been re- and the street, to whom Moses, as he arranged stored to his proper condition, and at the samle his disheveled habiliments, endeavored to ex- tine, also very feelingly put his hand into our plain his position, while his exhausted assailant hero's coat-pocket unnoticed by the latter. was recovering her breath. Moses again warmly thanked the stranger, and "He's a-lyi'! the domned, sneakin' informer upon being informed by him that he ownedsome after Mike, and tief-policeman !" indignantly ex- tenementscin the neighborhood of the old ginger- claied she, "wid his talk about the ould man, snaps man's supposed residence, asked him in the win there be's none, and he knows the same, the cause of charity, if he heard any thing of tre oo blag~yard tief! They tuk me off worse befour peddler or his daughter, to send the information and siut Inc to the Blackwell for notin'! Domn to the Evercroft House. They shortly, parted, him! I'll make him to be after lavin', if-if I and Moses returned to the hotel. In dressing for gets fewer mionts for it!" roared she emphatically. dinner-, he discovered the absence of his watch And she forthwith commenced aggressive move- and handkerchief. ments again, which would probably have been "Gracious !" said he. "It must have been highly detrimental to our hero, as the mob very taken during the altercation in the hall by see gallantly sympathized with her, if an elegant of the crowd. I wish I had net forgotten to ask young man, who had evidently been in a high the address of that kinl stranger.gote mmigt re- station of life as waiter or porter to soine debat- cover it for me !" log society, and had a great notion of eloquence, His principal regret, however was at his failure had not interfered with remarks which drew the to find time ginger-snap man, and although lie attention of the mob from Moses by their unii- made subsequent inquiries, he was unable to find 'telliibili.ty. either the watch or the man. The baneful effect Certainly, certainly !" said another of the of poverty in inducing fear of oppression and crowd, who had just wedged his way in, and who tyrannous poor-houses had perhaps led tie old seemed to be carrying all his earthly possessions, ian to deceive our hero. At any rate lie was to real estate and live stock upon his person, "what continue a waif of society, unpicked up by amy is the ruction here, what is the rumpus ? What one. are you about, Judy ? I know him well!" "I ask for the assistance of the authorities against this mad wonnan !" here exclaimed Moses who had recovered himself sufficiently to be angry. CHAPTER XIV. Where are the police ?" "No. Come along with me. Never mind the TnE REv.MR. HUNKYFELL. police. Let her go. There'd be no satisfaction. -MosEs and Mr. Bntcr paid severalsubsequent Only a mistaken female," said the man, pulling visits to the Brooklyn youig lady. Upon the Moses through the crowd. " Stand aside boys. fourth, by the inadverteice of the Dutch sentinel I kmow him well. Merely come to ask her'to at the cor y they stumbled in upon tihe antind Sunday-school." father confessor of the establishment. Mr. an- At last, through the stranger's efforts, Moses ter defiantly determined to remain and Moses was suffered to move away from the crowd. considered it a fvo-abletpportmaity to survey Why, just such a case occurred to my friend, the forces of the epemy. The aunt was already Mayor Opdyke," continued lie to time restored in the parlor. It is quite natural for tme specta- Moses. "XWe were walking" together in time ambmrbs tor, upon first belmolimg a solemn female of mmi- to examine a site for a new public school. I was on usual breadth of pcison,to be disposed to tn- the committee, when he said to me: 'Councilman, order of feei Tho1gh Moses courteously just look at that man's kettle!' The man was bowed,he was so struck by the peculiarity of her going along with a curious kettle. He turned appearance, that he remained bent for a momnet round - felt his favorite kettle had been affronted, or two. Time lady looked severely at her niece pitched into the mayor, and did him considerable and friend, and the at our ero. Miss Tonins damage before I could arrest imn der surely introduce r. Wikld tohe lin side up," continued the stranger volubly, as be " Ah Mr. Winkfield! of whachrham - slipped upon time ice. "And what a cold day it her I" Ther a mo iar puse, as Mm- is! Suppose we step into the Shades here." Winkfield appeared to bestil rather oimfused. MR. WINKFIELD. WINKFIELD. 33 6 page: 34-35[View Page 34-35] 34 MRWNKFIELD. MR. WINKFIELD. " Have you not yet taken means, Mr. Wink- field," continued the laly, looking solemnly at Moses, "to secure redemption ?" " Madam, I hope it will be no false presump- tion for me to imagine that some religious im- pressions have been made upon my heart. I was vaccinated-I m~ban baptized at a very early period," replied Moses deferentially, though it was evident he had not yet entirely recovered his clearness of mind. Here the,young lady, either thinking to take advantage of the spiritual occupancy of her aunt, or not being disposed to regard her pre- sence at all, after jocosely commanding her friend Mr. Bunter to " shut up !" at something he was whispering to her, kissed him so heartily to en- force her commands, that it attracted the atten- tion of both the aunt and Mr. Winkfield. ".Wanton disregard of propriety !" said the former, in a low voice to her niece. "The rules of life, the precepts of Christianity, have no effect upon you, poor child !" "Precepts of Christianity, Aunt Jane !" said the young lady in a lively manner. "Why ! am I not doing as I would be done by ?" "Scoffer," said the aunt in a shocked state, " cease your impiety, or heaven may yet visit this house with punishment for the deeds that are done in it !" "Very likely, iunt," replied the. young lady significantly. " But do you take any interest in the revival of the languishing cause of vital Christianity, Mr. Winkfield ?" continued the aunt, again turn ing to Moses,. "Is it substantial piety you would embrace ?" " Ha ! ha ! My dear aunt, why not try him?' said Susie, tittering, " I mean, do you feel the efficacy of repent ance, sir ?" continued the aunt, blushing and look ing more severely than ever at her niece. " Oh I yes, madam; but I believe in bringing - sinners to punishment too, as well as repentance,' replied Moses. "Though I am well aware tha there are many conscientious, sterling Christian like you, madam, who are so kind of heart, an so scrupulously desirous of rightly following th precepts of Christianity, that such a principI seems to them- both unmerciful and wrong." Won by Moses's compliment, the worthy lad, smiled softly upon him, and endeavored to loo as conscientious and sterling as possible. Whil she was engaged in this act of amiable weakness a gentleman of a dark-olive complexion, in a cl real neck-cloth, an unbuttoned sack overcoat an yarn slippers, which appeared to constitute hI habitual undress uniform, entered the room. fH appeared extremely well-conditioned, and wore pleased expression, which seemed as if it had bee recently oiled up with a glass or two of old Otar "Ah Miss Susannah! and my friend Mr. Bunt is here to-day," said he, smiling benignantly upo them. "And, I beg pardon-" "This is Mr. Winkfield, a friend of my niec Mr. Hunkeyfell," said the aunt. "Ah ! her friend, I see; a fine, ingenuous cou tenance !" (Moses was scanning the speaker face with great intensity.) "Are you awaiting guidance, sir? You will excuse us, sir, but W have no time to lose. We can not he too qui( in exhorting or being exhorted. We are trifling away our time within sight of perditio And how are you occupied, sir? Upon mathema- "and what is more, allow me to express to you ties, poetry, history, commerce, law, or physics?" sir-" "The science of human nature has been my Excuse me one moment, Mr. Winkfield," in study, to some extent, sir," replied Moses. terrupted the divine, who seemed to be enjoyin, " Ah! a person of leisure and observation, and the moment hugely. "I see that your spirit i have property," said the clergyman, edging up equal to your intelligence; and enlisted in th toward Moses. "Indeed, an interesting study " grea t cause of evangelical religion, what invi "Yes,,sir. I flatter myself that by this means able victory would await you." the examples of not only the virtuous but the "Enlisted in the cause of that religion whici vicious, also, are presented to me in a clearer upholds virtue, against rascality and vice, sir,. light," replied Moses, with unconscious intention. hope it will!" continued Moses feelingly. "I will warrant you, now, contmiued the di- And you feel yourself already thus enlisted vine, smiling serenely, "that by the virtuous you do you not ?" said the divine coolly, and with mean such as are noted for the practices of mere lightning glance at Susie and Mr. Bunter. sobriety, or honesty, or industry, or humanity, Moses started, but immediately repressed him and that sort of thing ?" sel'. "You are quite right, sir," replied Moses, some- "If so, confide in me, sir, and I will assist yot what astonished. in your efforts, certainly," continued the divin "Here you see it! This is one of the cases, benignantly. said the reverend softly, and turning to the aunt, Moses put his hand to his brow, rubbed i seated in rapt observation of the conversation inanely, and rose. near by. "This is one of the cases, ma am, Thank you," replied he, in increasing confu which the worthy Doddridge refers to, when he sion. Very well-that is-you are very kind speaks of the subtle errors and frailties of per- I propose to have the pleasure of calling again o sons relying upon their perverted reason merely Miss Tomlins and-". to guide them." Certainly," continued Mr. Hunkyfell, with " Ah the holy man !" exclaimed the aunt, the amusive air of a cat playing with a mouse alluding to Doddridge, and throwing herself im- but still with encouraging politeness. "Do, sir. plicitly upon his authority. I shall be particularly happy to meet you again." "What says that most inspired of divines ? Moses thought he could better recover his continued Mr. Hunkyfell. "Has he not expressly presence of mind in the street, so he very pru declared that the exercise of such principles is its dently took his leave, accompanied by Mr. own reward, even if there be any thing more than Bunter. form or artifice in it? Certainly. Yes, let iie tI wonder if he-meant any thing by that last warn you, my friend, in accordance with that remark 9" thought he, as he reached the pave- glorious view, that an attention to such defective ment. Confound it, he seems to have found and imperfect principles, as he calls them, is out what we are about !"' merely so much time lost in the great work of in- "What do you think of the goods ?" asked suring eternal salvation and redemption by grace! Mr. Bunter. - Grace!" "Oh! an excellent anji original pattern !" re- " Ah! yes !" murmured the worthy aunt, once plied Moses, with an effort at satire in the midst g more rolling up her eyes. of his abstraction. " Our hero could hardly contain himself at this "But you can close him out, can't you ?" t perversion of the esteemed Doddridge's senti- again inquired Mr. Bunter earnestly. s ments. He supposed that the divine was either "Eh? Oh! yes. Yes, of course," replied d. in the habit of indulging in the intellectual Moses mechanically but bravely. "Oh! yes." e amusement of covertly deriding the worthy aunt's They wended their way in silence to the ferry. e limited comprehension, or else he enjoyed little When they had crossed the river, Moses turned momentary attempts at maliciously exasperating to his friend, and they swore together some such y those who knew better. After relieving his feel- secret and impassioned oath as the three Swiss k ings a little by a slight snort, and by kicking the gentlemen once did, and then parted for the day. e reverend around the room, in imagination, he S, awaited further developments. "The mighty blessing! The glorious state of d election, when you shall feel yourself saved from is perdition !" continued the divine, " with which CHAPTER XV. c you see the wicked unbeliever is punished !"MOSES AND MR. TITMAN ATTEND AN OPERA THE a Ah 1" exclaimed the lady, still in deep feeling. MOITISeA MTHEREO NAND THE INCIDENTS THEREAT n Ay! , and think, madam, the justice of such . d. punishment will heighten your joy! As you see To relieve himself from the feeling of knavish- er other wretches writhing in consuming fire; what ness, which the atrocity of the hypocrite had n moments may be expended by you in the bliss of forced upon him as a fellow-being, Moses con- self-congratulatioAi!" eluded to resort to the diverting efficacy of music, e, This was derisive of religion itself. Moses and in the evening, with Mr. timan, betook him- turned red, walked to the cat in the window, and self to the Academy. In the lobby thereof, Ital- n- ejaculated " Rascal!" in such explosive indistinct- as, Jews, and other inhuman beings from strange 's ness that the ammal opened hr eyes i astos- lands were chattering, ushe erecting, and ig meat, and apparently im bodily fear. beaux were saunteiring; some peeping in at the ne "And you, Mr. Winkfield, I see that yon are doors, others standing in the. ways--the small ck affected by these sentiments," continued the gen- alen with big lorgnettes and the big men with ll tleman, with an eminently pleased air. sniall ones. Within the auditorium there was a n, "Yes, sir, I am," replied Moses indignantly , blaze of beauty already, although the general u,? n- g is a I- u e it -S illumination or conflagration had not yet taken phice. Following an usher, our friends reached their seats, which were undoubtedly very choice ones, as they were sufficiently near the orchestra to miss nonie of the finer passages of the drums, trumpets and other delicate instruments. The orchestra was already in and busily engaged in exasperating the more sensitive lovers of music in the house with a prolonged tuning operation. "Good gracious ! we're late !" exclaimed Mr. Titman. "They've already commenced !" Moses disabused his fellow dilettante's mind. " And we are extremely fortunate I think" continued he, "in obtaining this box. It is very capacious; almost large enough for two more per- sols."' " Yes, and such a good view of the scenes. I say, Winkfield, I can see away behind'em, through the crack in the curtain. 0 dear I Good gra- cious! Moses. I say! 0 dear !" " Eh ? What is the matter?"' inquired Moses while Mr. Titman whispered hastily in his ear. "God bless me, you don't say so! Well, don't look that way again !" said Moses, blushing ex- ceedingly. "Don't look that way at all !" "I can't help it. He's finished mending 'em and is putting them on now." "Very well. I am glad of it. -How full the house is becoming. Those persons over there can scarcely get along to their seats," -*id Moses, look. ing around. " Heavens! Supposing tiere was a fire to oc- cur, how should we get out ?" said Mr. Titman, turning very pale. " Pshaw! An absurdity in a fire-proof building like this !" replied Moses, looking a little nervous himself. This remark having assuaged Mr. Titman's fears' he commenced to look at the splendid "landscape with animals" about him. There was every style of beauty, and every form of elegant maniiness. The fair blonde with her heavenliness, and the buxom brunette with her earthliness. There were belles who appeared to be in a bewitching state of betweenity, and others who looked as though they had escaped from the place under. neath the earth. When Mr. Titan become be- wildered with his inspection of this dazzling array, he turned his lorgnette to the fresco and to the chandelier and then suddenly reverted to the sub- ject of his previous apprehension. "Do you think there is any cause of alarm Winkfield ? I-I positively smell smoke," whis- pered he to Moses. "Suppose the house was on fire in the basement ? 0 dear !" " Pshaw! nonsense! Be quiet and sit still," replied Moses, convulsively placing his hand upon the railing beside him, as if lie were about to jump over the box inclosure. " We won't try to get out now, shall we ?" asked Mr. Titman, who was very pale. " No, no. Alarm the entire house. Hundreds would be crushed to death. Besides that, we can't !" " I feel very fatigued," again said Mr. Titman. ' Suppose we retire. I understand the piece for he evening is very uninteresting !" "I'll thank you to move your chairs one side," said a polite usher to our friends at this point. Behind him in the alley stood six strangers. ' These gentlemen have standing room in this ox," MR. WINKFIELD. . 85 page: 36-37[View Page 36-37] 36 MR. WINKFIELD. " Good heaven! there is room for only three," the tonic, and badly done !" whispered this gen- remonstrated Moses in a low tone to the usher. tleman. "Pshaw ! hear that pedal passage of the "And do you mean to say there are six more bassoni. Such dodges are not classic; not classic at places here ?" all. An extreme sharp sixth brought out in that " Enter, gentlemen; extra night," said the usher way; Mr. Winkfield, is unbearable. Nothing more, hurriedly. I assure you, than the first derivative of a prepar- "By heavens! this is an outrage," whispers ed suspension, with diminished harmony, the Moses indignantly to his friend, as the party third being flattened by licentious passing notes! squeezed into the box in front of them, entirely Miss Wagbull, the whole instrumentation of this precluding a view of any thing but an expanse of movement is robbed by its eccentric scoring of dress-coats, energy and richness, without even allowing the " What shall we do ?" said Mr. Titman. harmony repose. I will not stand it," cried the "They are foreigners, and it is the custom of musical gentleman, appearing to be deeply moved their country," said Moses, after endeavoring in by this unhappy matter. vain to make one of the strangers understand his "Ahi! this is better," continued he presently, disapproval of their proceeding. relieving the feelings of all present with a smile. "What shall we do ?" repeated Mr. Titman, ex- " The stage scoring of this maestro is always su- amining in helpless fascination the two buttons of perior to his instrumentation. See! See ! The a short-skirted dress-coat before him within two soapyrano catches it from the tenory," continued inches of his organs of vision. "We shan't at- he in excitement; "he from the baritony, who tempt to expel them, will you ?" has taken it from the basso. The orchestra will "No, no. In any other place. But here they have it presently, but, I fear, badly !" are protected by the laws of decorum! But we "What is it ?" asked Mr. Titmuan in alarm. can't sit here, we shall be suffocated We must "The house won't catch it too, will it ?" stand up !" "It is the fugue, sir !" replied the critic, as Mr. They stood up, and though they were still un- Titman was about suggesting that the basso should able to obtain a glimpse of the stage, they nev- have certainly been fumigated before being allow- ertheless congratulated themselves upon at least ed upon the stage. being in an eligible position to hear. - They there- "It is the development, the opening out, the fore resignedly accepted their novel situation un- organic growth of the musical thought, first lying til the close of the first act. At that point hav- latent in any simple phrase, according to its in- ing some well-founded fears that they might be nate law. One snatch of melody wakes all the desperately tempted to pick the pockets of the echoes through the realm of sound. The fugue, front ranks for amusement, and acting under the ir i-Nature is full of fu-ue, sirP " inspiriting suggestion of Mr. Titman, who pro- Mr. Titman being relieved, thought of cats in posed returning to the hotel, and substituting for the moon-light, and nodded intelligently, the whole affair a select performance of popular "In the spiral growth of the plant, sir, the swell airs by himself on his accordeon, they abandoned of the ocean, the wheat-field tossed before thd the field to the six foreignersreached the passage breeze, the innumerable details of -figure, the and managed to edge their way to the corridor. grouped columns, intesected arches, even the Here they wandered about some time in loitering leaves and flowers seems driving, yearning upward, indecision, and then observing that it was in vain and thie heavier, intricate ensemble looks light to return at the moment into the auditorium, phi- and instinct with aspiration. It is the sense of losophically withdrew to the refreshment-room the finite everywhere losing and finding itself in below, where Mr. Titman spent his time in in- the infinite. It seems to say that nothing is specting the lithographs upon the wall, while finished; no individual form or existence com- Moses rationally studied the Italian of his libretto pletes itself, but each and every thing relates, re- in a corner. After lie had finished the critical fers unto the whole, and in developing its own examination of several pages thereof, an influx of tendencies reveals a world. As a form of art, humanity into the wine-room suggested that a it is analogous to architecture in its-" second intermission was taking place. With Mr. "Certainly, to architecture," maid Mr. Titman Titman, lie therefore returned to the house, into abruptly, " and the earnest student of that noble which they were enabled to penetrate a short dis- art, which unites the finite necessities of man tance. This success resulted in the discovery with the symbolic embodiment of the conceived at- and pleasant recognition of his presence by Miss tributes of the Infinite, as lie stands before the Wagbull, front a distant box in the second circle, magnificent Doric caryatid, typical of grandeur to which lie and Mr. Titan at once repaired. and inposiig majesty, placed upon its stereobatic There were two or three beaux surrounding the dado, or the glorious stylobate with its fluted hypo- young lady, but she warmly greeted our hero, and tracielium, its fascinating triglyphs and still more Mr.Titman, beingproperly accredited, was prompt- graceful imetopes, will probably ask of the hum- ly seated by Mr. Wagbull. During the progress of ble author of this unpretendimg but faithful the third act, and while the tenor was standing on treatise why-wly-" tiptoe to reach the higher C and the basso was in "Very true, very true. But to revert," con- the basement of his musical apparatus searching tinued tie critic, suppressing Mr. Titman's little for the famous ut de poitrine, our friends had the effort at rivalry. " Observe this movement ! exquisite pleasure of enjoying a running-criticism How different from the former !" said lie, as a upon the performance by one of the gentlemen mass of rich sounds filled the auditorium. "The present, time elegant critic of the MusicalUnierse boldness now justifies itself. Tha, exuberant an'd Ladies' Own Dress-Maker, without the pe- richness does not exclude cleanmess; time stmramngc- cuniary expense of buying the newspaper. ness doesn't degenerate into -barroquec affects- "Hum!I Fourth resolution of the dominant tion." seventh into the harmony of the major third below 4"No ; certainly not !" said Mr. Titman,. MR. WINKFIELD., 37 I "The luxuriant ornation does not smother the presumptuous; ease -of 'the latter.. In the mean severity of the outline. Masculine, audacious time Mr. Titrhan, who was in high spirits, occu- and seductive, the thought is clothed in the trans- pied himself in observing, with many evidences' porting, magical drapery of profundity. And now of mirthfulness, a stupendously dressed dowager,, see, on a different ground play tender, pale, opa- whom he had caught sight of near by, with a line nuances, yet with a juicy and strong color- wart on her nose. The mutual convulsions of ing!" the two at each other's appearance was succeeded "By gracious! But go on. Go on !" ex- by a prolonged attempt to indignantly stare each claimed Mr. Titman. other out of countenance; and finally this pleas- " The feminine element is no longer mysterious, ant reciprocity of courtesy was ended by the ap- but advance into the foreground with such de- proach to the dowager's box of a gentleman, who cided significance that the metaphorical manli- engaging her attention with what appeared to be ness, though still spirited and proud, vanishes remarks made in good English, was invariably before it dizzily, or is banished into its train! answered by her, Mr. Titman noticed, with such Romantic, individual and peculiar, the adagio brief but classic French expressions as "Bong! breathes the aroma of love. 'Tis the memory of wee, myshoe! certainmong! c'est-ca," etc. a fleeting moment of life, full of poesy idealized, "He is a French gentleman, and she, perhaps, and spun in fine ethereal webs of harmony. wishes to delicately compliment him by paying With nothing stiff or angularesque, momentarily to his native language the honor of using it)" glimmers in the concerted movement the mas- said Miss Wagbull, smiling. culine anguish, the secret tenderness which is "But look there !. Excuse me !" again ex- carried to the meeting of the elements. And claimed Mr. Titman, in the progress of his roving now, repulsed, see the passion-whirlwind of the observation. "Miss Wagbull, please look at scherzo, the delirium through which a breathless those ladies in the parquette with the needles and and spasmodic melody is hurrying to and fro, the balls of yarn in their librettos. Why I they like the impetuous beating of a heart that breaks are knitting !" and perishes in love and passion. Behold, in a "Oh ! they are ladies from Boston, and, un- rhythm, vague and evanescent, the rising of the doubtedly, so well acquainted with the music they star of contemplative remorse !" are not obliged to spend-all the time in attending "By heaven? But can you tell me, Mr. Fidle- to it," exclaimed Miss Wagbull good-gaturedly fadle, how you find out all this in the music ?" "I understand it is quite a common custom continued Mr. Titman, after recovering from his in Boston." stupefaction. Here the affable c-itic of the " Ladies' Own" " *se e it is not generally k-nown," replied Mr. approached once more, purposely to repay Mr Fidlefadle, with a'smile of pity. "But the prin- Titman's attention to his late remarks by offering ciple is simply this, sir: First, the music must to conduct the latter and Moses behind the express certain emotions which the spectator scenes, and thus enable them to witness the sympathetically feels from observing the scene operation of the coming act cx machina. and reading the libretto. Second, the various "Certainly," replied Mr. Titman. "And sounds, movements, passages, etc., - of which Winkfield, what say you?" modern music is composed, are such as have Moses excused himself, but at once persuaded been conventionally agreed upon, shall represent Mr. Titman to accept the kindness. The curtain these certain emotions." presently rose again, and our hero's attention "Conventionally ? Then they are not always was directed to the stage. The music was ex- imitative of such as would naturally be made to tremely fine, and highly illustrative of the fatal express these emotions, or arouse them?" passion of jealousy, which the scene represented, " Not at all, sir. Imitation ? Heavens! it is for the composer shad not entirely succeeded in barbarous, sir, and not allowed in any case in avoiding the " buffoonery" of nature in interpret. modern music. And the genius of the composer ing the eccentric libretto. At the maddened is now shown not only in the ingenuity with outburst of the entire orchestra, under the mas- which he can avoid this natural buffbonery, so to terly direction of the perspiring leader, as the call it, but also in the success which he meets catastrophe approached, the Conte di Luni y with in overthrowing the old conventions." Crazi chased the Marchesa about the stage with "Overthrowing them ?" his glittering ancestral sword in one hand, and a "Yes, sir, and grandly dictating himself what fatal goblet in the other. Anon, with the shriek people must be pleased with !" of the piccolo, the unfortunate Marchioness re. " Thank you. I see it all now," replied Tit- ceives the catastrophic blow and rushes to her man, secretly resolving to establish himself in dressing-room to die and go home. Then, with Dibbletown as a great musical genius, by apply- the demoniac tittering of the violins, the widower ing these principles to his future performances reads a short account of the toxical properties of with the accordeon. The act having closed, the the bowl, and drinks from it; with an ascending critic concluded to take himself off, leaving Mr. blare of the trumpet, throws it to the ceiling; and, Titman entirely overcome by his eloquence in with a rude resonance of the druni, precipitates musical matters,. himself uponithe floor, where he dies without even During the subsequent intermission a pleasant, a verbal willafter a short and exciting attempt at gentlemanly young fellow entered the box, and the difficult gymnastic exercise of recovering an occupied Miss Wagbull's attention for a few mo- erect posture with stiffened legs and arms. ments. Moses listened to Mr. Wagbull osten- While the unfortunate Count was engaged in thus sibly and speculated upon the possible causes throwing himself about upon the floor of the which had induced the young lady to receive this stage, a cry of distress was heard at one new-coiner with the warmth she had shown, and side thereof, in the flies, and simultaneously a also made some very uneasy reflections upon the person, clinging with fear to a rope, swung across page: 38-39[View Page 38-39] MR. WINKFIELD. the stagetwenty feet in the air, and in full view of the house,. As he swung back -again he con- vulsively drew up his person to the rope, appar- ently in terror at the distance\ from the floor, and wildly called for help. At the third vibration, and while the attention of thb entire house was becoming directed to this singular spectacle,.and the enthusiastic tenor rose to resume his dying Throes on a safer part of the stage, a circular movement was given to the rope by the efforts of some one in the scenery trying to catch the 'flying object, and to the observation of the bewildered and alarmed Moses was turned the terrified countenance of Mr. Titman. A roar of applause from a party of sailors in the amphitheatre drowned the latter's frantic enunciation of his inability to hold on much longer. The mariners, who had strayed into the theatre and patiently sat out the fiddling, thought they were going to be rewarded with a grand acrobatic display; taking-Mr. Titman's frantic posturing, together with the tossing of the tenor below, to be a commencement of the chief per- formances of the evening. "Place a mattress or something beneath him!" cried Moses, starting in alarm for his friend. "Dear me! he'll break his neck!" Here the musical critic could be plainly seen in the wing humanely making another effort to grasp his unfortunate acquaintance, as another oscilla- tion took place. Amid the confusion of the audience, the alarm of the ladies, the jeers of the more unfeeling, and the rude noises of encouragement by the sailors and others above, the curtain fortunately fell; and a moment thereafter Moses heard a noise disagreeably indicating that something else behind it had also undoubtedly fallen. He hurried to the stage with Mr. Wagbull. They there found Mr. Titman, surrounded by counts, duchesses, and scene-shifters, evidently mor4 affected by the sympathy which a tall young lady of the chorus was endeavoring to bestow upn him in mingled Dutch and English, than by the harm which had been done to his person. "You see, I was walking about up there, and looking down on the stage, when I leaned against what I thought was a wall," explained he to Moses, as they returned to Miss Wagbull's box. "It was only a part of a scene. It was fortunate I caught the rope, or I would have broken my head or done something disagreeable." Moses's dark feelings had been dissipated by the mimic excitements of the scene; and if they had not thus been, they would have been certain- ly by the real one which he now experienced, of placing Miss Wagbull's cloak about her, and waiting upon her to her carriage. It was proba- bly owing to his lofty feelings at this extreme honor, that Titman could induce him, only by coun- terfeiting painful thirst, to enter a lager-beer shop on the way homeward. While therein, also, the lit- tle gentleman got into difficulty with Moses, from having been so much carried away by the Saxo- nian beauty of the attendant girl, as to kiss her. As he appeared somewhat penitent, however, during Moses's lecture, the latter relented, and acknowledging that the act was perhaps allow- able "as a mere tribute to beauty," seemed to Mr. Titman to manifest an intention of following his example. Upon arriving at the hotel, the lat- ter expressed a strong desire for a cold fowl, and thereupon Moses, still under the pressure of his elevated feelings, became indignant again, but after he had shown a slight sympathy with Mr. Titman's anger at the refectory being closed, the two at last bade each other adieu and retired for the night, Moses to dream of Miss Wagbull, and Mr. Titman of a bluelit apotheosis in theatrical style, with the tall young girl of the chorus. CHAPTER XVI. THE REV. MR. HUNKYFELL PLEASANTLY MAKES TIHE HANDSOME OFFER TO MR. WINKFIELD OF A GEN- ERAL BUSINESS PARTNERSHIP. THE PROGRESS OF THE BUNTER DIFFICULTY. As Moses gained the Union Park pavement, in turning from the Broadway promenade the next afternoon, some one, overtaking him, placed a hand upon his shoulder. Moses shuddered and turned around at the light velvety touch. It was the persons to whom he instinctively attributed it, the reverend Mr. Hunkyfell. Our hero first proposed wringing the reverend gentleman's nose and proceeding quietly upon his way. He then determined upon the better course of acceding to the divine's intimated desire to speak with him. "My dear young man," said Mr. Hunkyfell, as he noticed Moses's avoidance of his proffered hand, " excuse me, am I right in fearing that not- withstanding your excellent impartiality of judg- ment, I detected some prejudice upon your part toward me in our last intercourse ?" "You are," replied Moses. " And must I fear, young man, that notwith- standing the acute appreciation of character, which you appear proud of possessing, that pre- judice is one likely to last ?" "It is very likely to do so," said Moses, endea- voring in vain to conceal his antipathy. "And it is impossible for me to.remove that prejudice ?" " Utterly," replied Moses again involuntarily. "Alas ! then it is a vain hope which I have cherished. Do you know, now, I have really cherished a hope since I met you, and it was my present object in accosting you, of being assisted by that judgment and by the rest of your ener- gies, in the noble field of pursuits to which it has been my pleasant lot to be called," continued the divine. "You are a gentleman of leisure. You have property and an ingenuous countenance." i "Sir !" said Moses ferociously. The reverend gentleman drew away instinctive- ly, but presently smiled. He seemed to consider it himself a rather heavy joke. "Then you hate me ?" asked he earnestly. "No, I merely despise you," replied Moses be- nevolently. "Your frankness is certainly affable," said the other. "There-is some virtue in your character, though I must say that part of it is not what has particularly attracted my attention." "Very likely," replied Moses, "that part of any one's character is not particularly attractive to you." "My dear sir, I allude to it not in petty irrita- *tion, but rather in sorrow, as, ahem! you appear *to enjoy the esteem, ay, even the friendship, of a Fw MR. WINKFIELD. member of the family whose interest I have con- in the matter, iry 'oung friend," replied the ceived it my duty to cherish." divine, smiling affably upon Moses. Moses here suddenly inanifested an increase of "And what is the sum in this matter, to which interest in the conversation, which the keen-eyed you consider yourself entitled as spiritual adviser gentleman did not fail immediately to observe, as of this family ?" asked Moses. ie continued, in malicious amusement, "Her own fortune is some forty thousand dol- " However, as my society appears absolutely lars. What do you say to thirty-nine thousand ?" detrimental to your temper, perhaps I had better "Thirty-nine thousand !" not try it with further conversation." "Well, then, twenty thousand," continued the "Proceed, sir, proceed; it is only because you divine, acknowledging by this modification that have alluded to that estimable family, that your lie had been a little too facetious. "This would conversation becomes interesting to me," said enable me to increase my charities in certain Moc, assuming an aip of indifference, quarters at once, which I have long been desirous Alh! I see you have already dismissed Your of." ill-will, and are even inclined to-be plain with me. "But what if I should use my persuasion to I assure you, in return, for the pleasant manner prevent that young lady's consent to granting you in which you have started on the subject which is a dollar, sir, and what if I should still further interesting to us both, that I will cheerfully use proceed to Mr. Tomlins himself and reveal to him my power, as far as consistent with my conscien- this iniquitous conversation ?" said Moses breath- tiois duty, to agree with you thereon. Your ing very short in his indignation. "I rather friend, Mr. Bunter; is desirous of being united think I should be likely to impart to that gentle- with Miss Susannah." . man a little of the unpardonable prejudice which "le is," said Moses, somewhat astonished at you so correctly observed in me." this plain understanding of affairs. " My dear sir," exclaimed the other with open "And he has your sympathies and efforts in laughter, "let me kindly warn you, my young his behalf ' continued the divine. friend, not to prejudice the cause of your friend " If lie has my sympathies, my efforts will cer- by such foolish plans. Mr. Tomlins is too well tainly follow them," replied Moses proudly. satisfied with the piety of my wishes, to render it "Thank you,n' said tihe reverend gentleman necessary for me to even notice such a piece of with the satirical air of being initernally convulsed malice on your part," continued he putting on a with laughter. "Yes, I thank you, sir, for your sanctified air. frankness. But why should you and I be au- "Well, sir, you studied Tartuffe at an early tagonists ?" exclaimed he presently, and apparent- age, no doubt," said Moses, "and by a long course ly in a very sincere way. "My dear sir,,I am of villainy and cunning since, you think you are quick ii my appreciation of human qualities. A admirably fitted for the part in real life. I must union in personal interest of such attributes as agree with you. You are. It is not for me to yours aid mine would be sure to be crowned with decide whether your proposition will be enter. all the worldly success that either of us could wish. tained. But take notice," continued our hero, Why may n-)t such a friendship and'compact be losing his temper, "that while I shall present it at once-", to them, I shall use my best efforts to dissuade " You had better drop that subject," interrupt- them from any such concessions to villainy." ed Moses. "AhiI I thought you would conclude it to be "I suppose I must," said the other hesitatingly, the best way," said the other and gazing at Moses earnestly. "Well, well, to "And what is more, I shall not rest in oppos. revert to our other topic," continued he, softly ing you in this alone, sir; but I shall continue rubbing his hands. "You are aware, I observe, my efforts until I shall see an injured family en- that my consent is necessary to the marriage you tirely rescued from the clutches of such in- are in hopes of consummating." famy, such rascally. unmitigated, and scoun- "So I- perceive. The method in which you drelly-" have obtained this power is an example of the "My dear sir! There is no necessity of such purity of your religion as well as of the vigor of heat, I assure you. Pray let me calm you. I your understanding." really entertain the highest wishes for your own "Thank you," said the reverend gentleman welfare. I do not desire any antagonism with bowing affectedly. "But you pay my understand- you," continued the gentleman, again offering his ing a tribute which is perhaps undeserved. The indignant enemy the olive branch. " Would my piety of Mr. Tomlins and his sister, sir, has in- duty to my calling and my charitable resolves duced them to thrust a share of the influence of allow me, I assure you, that I would even defer their estate and standing upon me-with the my wishes to yours." same religious feeling, I have been induced to ac- Moses looked at him in unutterable scorn. cept the onerous charge. There are many causes "I suppose as you have become interested in in which that influence must be exercised, and no this matter, I shall soon have the pleasure of con- part of it must be lost." versing again ivith you upon it. I shall, shall I "Ai! I think I understand you," said Moses. not ?" said the clergyman significantly. "As you are a married man, and notwithstanding "Very well ! very well I" continued Moses in your wife may die at any moment in the institu- a subdued way. tion to which she has retreated from the cares of " Pardon me. I must now part from you, my this world, your interest in the disposal of Miss dear fieid. With God's blessing I leave you I Toilins's hand arises chiefly from a desire that Adieul",replied the other. her fortune, or at -least a part of it, shall subse- " The only way to fight the devil is with fire," qiiently remain subject to your disposal. Am I said Moses as he continued upon his way utterly right 2" .absorbed in this interesting matter. " If I could " You are certainly possessed of great clearness thwart tnis miserable fellow and relieve that truly page: 40-41[View Page 40-41] 40 MR WINKELD.MR. WINKFIELD. suffering family from his machinationsI might c afford to lie once.or twice." f Here a thought struck him, and he became lost in meditation. CHAPTER XVII. Ml. TOPLADY RETURNS WITH RENEWED CONFIDENCE TO THE CITY, AND RELATES TO HIS NEPHEW THE CAUSES OF THE DIFFICULTY WHICH LED TO HIs LATE FLIGHT FROM IT. MOSES'S previous life of retirement-and medita- tion had not educated him by any means to the vivacity of a hotel. Those hours which since infancy he had been taught to devote either tov silent study or the natural recuperation of his physique, he observed were here especially select- 1 ed for the ebullitions of animal activity. Did heI sit down in his room at night to meditate uponI the immortality of the soul, or the nature of friendship, his reflections were set to the liveliest kind of terpsichorean music. Or was he quietlyI composing himself ere he closed his eyes in- slumber to prove the uselessness of the passions compared with reason, his theory and practiceI were presently destroyed by the maddening sounds of a gentleman with a baritone voiceI doing the Standard-Bearer in the principal parlor,I or by tie equally irritating hum of a public ban- quet in tie dining-hall. After a brief consulta- tion with the clerk of the hotel and Mr. Toplady, whose faith in the climate of the city had been sufficiently restored to cause, his recent return from a protracted- sojourn at a country hydropa- thic establishment, Moses resolved to answer one of the numerous newspaper advertisements, in which " all the comforts of a home " are pro- mised to single gentlemen ; the latter being sup- posed, as they do not enjoy -the domesticity of married life, not to know and consequently to be both surprised and. delighted to learn, that such comforts often consist, of two boys, three girls, and the dear little infant in the baby-jumper. Our hero was fortunate enough to discover, how- ever, in the quiet and clean little Banks street, a young married couple, who having under the usual insane impulses, hired a house which was too large for them, by the whole second floor, now gave evidences of returning reason, by ad- vertising the same to be rented to some gentle- manly person who could assure them, by refer- ences, of his possession of the culture requisite to a proper appreciation of a second story. The apartments were delightful. The sleeping-room at the back looked out upon a little summer house, which needed only the coming summer to make it beautiful, and his front parlor command- ed a view of a sedate old Quaker lady in a de- lightful cap constantly at the second story win- dow opposite, pleasant at any season of the year. The young couple themselves appeared to pos- aess all the charming simplicity which belongs to youthful inexperience, and in addition to that the equally charming duplicity of being coqipletely bound up in each other. After a scrutiny of our hero's person, references, and remarks, somewhat prolonged by frequent delicate withdrawals for Consultation thereupon, he was finally ac- cepted by them as an occupant of their second light. He soon removed to these spacious and pleasant apartments to which be was frequently accompanied by Mr. Titman and Mr. Toplady after dinner. The latter almost immediately upon his return to the city, was waited upon at his office by a high municipal authority and in- vited to meet a party of sixty other citizens on a jury-panel of six weeks. Having very properly suggested to the judge, that he might possibly come under the provision of the statute, exclud- ing lawyers from juries, from the fact of his hay- ing studied law at an early period of his life and having expressed the benevolent wish not to pre- judice any of the cases thereby, the court re- lieved him of his scruples, by stating that it "guessed he did not know enough law to hurt any thing," whereupon, after making a nenergetic attempt to appear as if the whole assemblage hadn't heard the remark, he was duly sworn in. What with "amicable suits," in which charges of perjury and bribery were made on both sides, with ninety-fifth trials of cases of " ancient-lights," which all the lights of the bar could not render luminous, with the brilliant charges by the judge at the jury, and with the successive appeals to the obstinate twelfth man, Mr. Toplady was generally too tired for the first week to seek other amuse- ment in the evening than slumber. Finally, however, in passing an evening in Banks street, he was enabled to explain confidentially the events which had caused his temporary sojourn in the country; and we will give his narrative here as concisely as possible. "1You know, Moses," said he, "Mrs. Fasher- lidg e's affair was not quite so lively as I wished it : so I thought I would go to another one, the first of Colonel Sparks's, without you. Just to try it, and see whether their next would do for you. I went up to Sparks's and found a crowd of street idlers about the canvas passage at the door, making great sport of it. The winds were making sport of it too, for I could scarcely crawl through it. I got in, and in the dressing-room was personally affronted by the fellow presiding there, who objected to the color of my cravat, the scoundrel. However, he finally permitted me to go below, and I was announced, with a great flourish by the German musicians with their instruments. Sparks haa a great idea of these things, and has a little orchestra nest for his music up on the side of the wall, with a little door and secret passage-way and all that. Every guest that entered was trumpeted In this way, and it made some sensation to commence with. Sparks and his wife were seated in great solemnity like a king and queen, on a sort of raised dais at one end of the parlors. I was led up to them and paid my homage to them as if they really were regal personages, and so did all the others. And then they turned me loose upon society. I saw some people I knew, and was about going to them, when I heard the doorkeeper's voice again. ' Mr. Joab Sackett, wholesale dealer in pins and needles, 67 Courtlandt street, no goods at retail. J. Sackett and lady,' he roared out. " Ha I ha I Sackett had made a mistake, and handed the faithful domestic his business card, and the fel1w read the whole of it ! I know Sackett very well. He is a thick-headed little fel- low,but his wife thinks a good deal of him, and they were very agreeable through the whole evening. 41 I cILIU ous epressns o1 oL - sOUwoun1 s s eath !, he'd got out of some historical novel. le had obtained possession of a dish of mushrooms; and when Joab, who was looking for something, came along his way, he thrust the dishunder his nose, and I heard him say, 'Here, eat these. These are what you are looking for ;' and then, in an undertone, 'Very few constitutions can stand them; they'll made him darned sick!1' "'Oh! thank you,' Joab said looking up at him; 'wouldn't you like 'em ?' "' No, sir-r-r!' cried the other fiercely. "'1Hey?' said Joab starting; and here, if you had heard the encounter between them, you would have said the fellow was a fool. I vish I could remember the exact words he next mut- tered. It was something about there being in him the glorious promise of youth, beauty, and an opening future, and in Joab the hard reality of want, ugliness, ignominy, and despair; and ie wound up by saying, '0 gods of the difficult Delphos! I shrug my shoulders, ha! ha!' "'I beg pardon,' Joab replied. le was much confused by-this incomprehensible stuff. 'Can I do any thing for you? Has any thing disagreed with you?' asked he. "''Philosophers have argued for centuries!' the stranger went on as if he was in a soliloquy. 'Let them turn to the revealed Logos for a solu- tion. To feel that this beautiful creature once loved me ! Be still, my soul! Cool off,i my brain! Is there no flux in our agony ? Ha! ha! ' These were his very words, Moses; I remember them. Joab appeared in great com- passion, and asked hin again if he was unwell. ' Ha! the proud ass's contumely!' continued the fellow in the same way, and then lie presently came personally at Joab: ' You conversed with her?' said he. "' Whom?' cried Joab. "'Miss Pottle. "'Yes,' said Joab, trying to ingratiate the stranger by slapping him on the back: 'she told me a story about one of the old gods run- ning off with a girl-' " " Jupiter and Semele, probably," interrupted Moses, laughing. Mrs.Sackett immediately insisted upon my society, no doubt bolted precipitately for the table. I and I enjoyed myself in hers, and that of some have since learned he was a New-Haven tutor, a other acquaintancet very much ; I didn't think lover of six years' standing of Miss Pottle, and I should be so pleased as I was. I was even in- was then laboring under her displeasure for duced to do more than the usual dancing. By something he had or had not done, and she the way, there is a newly imported set called the would have nothing to do with or say to him. Schleswig, which I advise you to avoid, Moses; If there was any deviltry in Joab, it would be I broke one of my suspenders in it, and it is al- likely to be shown, when there was food in together too unsatisfactory, too intricate. We prospect. He appeared quite gallant in hand- had music, too, and by gracious, an unusual lite- ing Miss Pottle down and assisting her at the rary recitation by a Miss Pottle, of New-Haven, table, and listened to her classic stories ahd daughter -of Professor Fottle, an original poem allusions with the air of a dashing young fellow she wrote about a feat performedin the Crimean deep in a flirtation. The Byronic nincompoop, war by an English soldier named Warmeastle, in for I can't conscientiously call him by a better which he took up a cannon bodily and ran off name, as you will see, worked his way near them, with it from the enemy who were trying to get it listened a moment and then violently crushed away from him. The incident was no doubt a the sandwich he had in his hand and commenced heavy joke upon the part of some English news- walking about in furious abstraction. le once paper." came near me, and I heard him.:Tepeating those "The poem was not heavy too, in consequence, lines of Byron: was it ?" interrupted Moses, who was also dis 'There never yet was tuman power posed to unbend for the moment. Which could evade, it'unforgiven, "Oh! no. It was considered very fine !" re- The patient search and vigil Iong sumed Mr. Toplady. "Let me see, I remember Of him who treasures up a wrong.' the first verse. It struck me by a very striking And he followed up the quotation witlimore ri- poetic liense n it, taken with the warrior's name: n4d.e' 1 diUWUU ul i Uf 'ILG d 'Now see yon foe; it seems but a mouse Stealing in the horizon, said brave Hothouse. Steady, boys, steady, with your match be ready! And with a poke, amid the smoke, Gunners aIram home, ram hone , "She had to call the heroic Warmaastle Hot- house, not to spoil the line, I suppose. However, the chief merit of the poem was in the. other verses, which I can't remember." "I should think so"interrupted Moses sig- nificantly. ig "By the way, the poetess had something to do with the events I commenced to explain to you, and that reminds me. You know, Joab, that is, Sackett, is one of the stupidest men* imaginable, and it's for that very reason, his wife tries to make out he is talented and full of iis- chief. She is perpetually accusing him in public of amusing himself by cheating at cards, or look- ing after othet women, or something else, when he hasn't the slightest idea of the sort. I noticed that long ago, when I first knew them. She wishes to have other women believe she has got a brilliant dashing fellow for a husband, you know. Poor Joab, he is good-hearted, and is a fair business man, but that is about all. Well, he was conversing with Miss Pottle, and we could see him from the card-room. So Mrs. Sackett couldn't refrain from directing the attention of all of us toward him, and in a loud voice intimat- ed that he was engaged in a rascally attempt to win Miss Pottle's affections, and she knew it! While she was talking in tltis manner and feign- ing a desire to expose him on the spot to the lady, a man near by us-ie was a gloomy-looking fellow, a nitiny with a Byron collar, I had noticed several times before hanging about the staircase, or stalking about the' rooms,'having nothing to say to any body-lie started convulsively, and contorting his face with the hardest kind of gri- mace, said!: " Ha! deathh !' He then disap- peared, but soon came back, evidently to listen to what else might be said. Mrs. Sackett kept at it, and hearing it again, lie grasped his long hair and gave it a prolonged and vigorous twist, but, the supper being then announced, he disappeared, MR. WINKFIELD. page: 42-43[View Page 42-43] 42 MR. WINKFIELD. " ' Running off with a girl,' said Joab, ' and "'Good God! no. I may have-have squeezed I believe she'd like to be run away with, too ; her hand-a little, when I handed her down to ha! ha! I've good notion to surprise my wife, supper !' he replied in his Vgony, and he here and do it.' made some propositions to me Vhich I thought " At this the fellow placed his nose in contact on the whole to be rather cool for the moment, with Joab's, and exclaimed, 'Miserable robber but which I have since benevolently attributed to of hen roosts and caitiff! you'll hear from me !' the increase of his distraction at the prospect " Joab started back to prevent strabismus. of the duel. He proposed that, as I had occa- The other at this cried, 'Ha? Vengeance !' and Eionally expressed myself disgusted with life, I rushing abruptly to the staircase, disappeared should fight this duel for him, and not only that, above. Joab here came at me and appealed to but as I was a man of property, I should make a me about him. He thought he was mad. I told will in his favor before going to the field. I was him I had noticed the fellow before, and con- forced to decline both these remarkable proposi- cluded he was simply drunk. tions, Moses; but, as his agitation was getting "'Yes, there was a dreadful smell of rum the better of him again, I endeavored to soothe punch about him,' said Joab. 'The lemons him, by stating that he was certainly authorized must have soured his temper. Ha! ha !' to take no notice of the letter, coming irregu- " We went up-stairs together, and the whole larly as it did through the penny-post, and I also point comes now. I have been thus particular proffered my services as a friend to stand by him with previous points, this conversation, etc., that in the matter, and assist him out of it. He went you might fully understand what a fool the fel- off, and the next day both he and Bwifter were low was then and was subsequently, confound arrested and bound over to keep the peace him! We were just sauntering along the hall, against each other, by that learned Jefferson and I was making a remark to Joab about enter- Market judge, Pootoops. Now who do you sup- ing the drawing-room and reviving an old coun- pose caused the arrest? Sackett probably in- try dance, when he was abruptly felled to the tended to intorin the police of the matter, but floor by the bodily precipitation, of this party what do you think of it, it wasn't he, Moses. upon him, over the balusters of the grand'stair- The challenger himself did it before him! He, case, to which we were adjacent. It was un- the warlike lover, after he sent the challenge, doubtedly an accident. The fellow had evidently became seared, either at the probabilities of fall- been gratifying his imagination by reaching after ing in the combat, or of being hung for murder Joab's hair, when lie reached too Far and fell over. according to the statutes as the survivor. At We restored Joab, but the booby disappeared. any rate, he took himself in person to the police And when we 4ad got through with the evening, office, and hurriedly insisted upon being himself thinking the a air a pretty good joke, we caine at once restrained from his deadly purpose by be- away also. Now two or three days after that ing put under bonds, and after statimg the cause soirse, Sackett came into my office in a rather of the quarrel to be an attempt at sediciiig and lively manner, with a note in his hand, which he running away with a young lady, of which he had received through the penny-post. It was a gave an exaggerated description, demanded, as challenge to mortal combat, and was signed J. a mere secondary matter, of course, that Joab Sokenuts Bwifter. should be put in a similar tight place." "'knBwifter ! who is he?' asked I, for I didn't "But how were you arrested ?" asked Moses, know his liame. as his uncle paused. "That is what interests me "'My dear friend, Toplady, you remember in the matter. Was it as a second of the pro- that party who fell over the stair upon me at posed duelo N Sparks's?' replied Joab.'This is the man. "Eh? no. Not at all." He is an escaped madman T Good heaven! "Well, how was it then ?" asked Moses, in Look at the dreadful method in his madness; some surprise. through the pemmy-post! No apology -will be "No, not as second at all. The fact was," received, and I am permitted a day to arrange continued Mr. Toplady, hesitating somewhat, "I my-earthly affairs before going to the field. had become slightly fatigued with Miss Pottle's Good Godt a conversation at the party, and asked Joab to re- Go'But what is it for ?' I asked. 'The note lieve me, you know, and pay attention to her, says: For thirteen insults received at Mrs. inadvertently intimating it -would be a personal Sparks's reception. Also to put a stop to your favor to me. In the cross-questioning lie was feral designs.' "subjected to by Pootoops, Joab was led into a con- ineIdon't know, unless lie hurt himself in thir- fftsed confession that he hadaattempteda small teen places when he fell over the balustrade, and flirtation with Miss Pottle, and when thai was insanelybelieves I put myself utder there on put down against him, in order to get out of it, he purpose t injure him.' attempted to say it was at another party's sug. pI referred to the note again. 'He intimates gestion, and that he did it all on account and in e will asasinate you, if you don't fiht him behalf of a single gentleman, who was violenitly said1 . in love with her-to wit, me!" "'GoodGod! yes. Hadn't I better inform on d'What do you mean by Toplady's account? him?' asked Sackett, becoming more agitated. asked the judge. 9Why didn't he attend to his I told him I didn't know how that would look lovemaingew el? so tr omeibl coing after an accusation of insult by the challenge. cocte btenyuohfrfrclyarig "' But good God! ,think of it, my dear sir I the feale off?'reldJobwhwaaths am a man of family!' said he, pulling his hair wI dn't kn'I reliqued bhr ad atces for the moment in anguish, wit' d.I -I meeysuee e adoe "'You did not trifle with Miss Pottle?' I asked, and' SedfrTp-" 'raedtejde 'Take improper-' t edfrTpay'rae h ug J i L MR. WINKFIELD. 43 peremptorily; and Joab says he alluded to me as should reward her champions, Moses with Mr. the chief rascal in the affair, and went on to Bunter might well include in the plan, the pur. say, 'Women again! I'll see whether this ab- pose of being near to assist in the ceremony of ducting, fascinating, and intriguing after 'em can't visiting upon the exposed impostor the first pun- be put a stop to! I'll make this scoundrel Top- ishinent he would seem to merit, of being promptly lady's name ring' and conspicuously expelled from the Tomlins It was upon the pleasant charge of an at- mansion by its owner. With spirit, Susie set tempt at forcible abduction, therefore, that I was about removing the temporary difficulty of her arrested, and I have no doubt he would have made father's reluctance in becoming a party to the my name resound pretty sonorously in it, if I had scheme. Mr. Tomlins, as a father, sincerely not lost my way in going to the police-office." loved his daughter. But lie was a man of robust "Ah! you lost your way ?" repeated Moses, weaknesses. As principal ancient of the First Con- looking at his uncle. gregational Church, his piety had truly become a Yes," said the latter. "Lucky; wasn't it ?" weakness. When Susie disclosed to him the ad- Very," replied Moses. vances toward a flirtation which the reverend "Ha ! ha ! and the funniest part of the affair Mr. Hunkyfell had made, we may say in mercan- is, that Mrs. Sackett begins to believe Joab really tile terms, that he refused flatly to accept such is a Don Giovanni. Bhe scarcely permits him to a draft upon his belief and his feelings. speak to a woman now , " A senseless imputation. It is impossible !' "I.a! h,! on the whole it was a rather curi- said the exercised parent and deacon. "He him- ous affair, concluded Moses, rising to bid his self would have called down upon his own head uncle adieu for the evenig, the avenging lightning of HeavenI" (LHe might have done that also, and have f4lt safr enough, as he knows the mansion is very ex- celtently insulated,"said Susie. CHAPTER XVIII. " The idle jest again!" replied her parent, CONTAINING THE GRAND COMBAT WITH THE HYPO- sternly. "tGirl, this is perhaps an evil represent- cRITE, AND ITS RESULT. action to me, caused by your worldly motives." a. WIN LD flt assured that te bta If yo t believe me na*your daughter, method of rendering his efdrts beneficial to his a woman living in decent Brooklyn society, I fenhdoMrBnerngwaistdireciemtowardinsist you shall," continued Susie, with spirit. friend, Mr. Bunter, was to direct then toward 46I have seen too much of your unfilial disre- an object, which seemed also his duty as a vin- spect to me in your obstinate prejudice in favor dicator of the interests of society, that of com- of society, against My wishes for your religious pletely dispossessing the Brooklyn family of the safety af reverend Mr. Hunkyfell's society and influence. I am not unfilial, papa, replied Susie. "And Though strengthened With the hope of promptly I respect your piety, for I know it is sincere ; but succeeding, he was well aware that if lie failed in don't let it lead you to be a fool any longer." a first attempt, his subsequent efforts would likely "Fool, miss!IDo you impiously accuse me- be useless, and perhaps detrimental to both the tho head deacon of the First Congregational interests of Mr. Bunter and those of society. le, Church, and the author of your existence-of- therefore, proceeded cautiously in the matter, az of mental weakness !" exclaimed the worthy man a wrestler about to try his strength in a grand in a rage. single combat with a powerful iitaronist. His "I do," said Susie, with argumentative candor. relations with the aunt were extremely favorable; "I ami afraid your head is wrong, for your for, through a little pleasantry of Miss Suie, the heart iainot, to permit thi man to play upon you." worthy lady was momentarily invested with the "Child, I say you have misconstrued his mo- somewhat serious hallucination that otrB -ero had tives, if not his actions," said the deacon pettish- become violently enamored of her. Bt the im- ly. "Every thing is now perverted in your view, portant point to be attained was to annihilate the by the infatuation you have conceived for that c .h . Toms, usie's ther, re- trifler, youig Bunter. I understand that lie has posed in the divine. As micre personal inter- been here again, notwithstanding my final con- course, unless strengthened by a long friendship, versation with him. Let him not come in ily aould not effect this Moses invented a speedy presence again. Remember, no child of mimie and promising plan of accomplishment-a simple shall be united to Catholics, Swedenborgians, aud brilliant counter-plot-tiough one, perhaps, Jews, Socinians, or triflers who can go to sleep aicri ie0 wouldnot have suggested, but for the within the sacred portals of the sanctuary, and apparent necessity of contestingr Satan with igrne- not only that, but- )uv materials.t e proposed that Susie should "Pshaw! I have seen you sound asleep fifty reveal to her father the same interesting facts times during the sermons, and as for Tom's %hiich she had confided to him, illustrating the howling, he never would have done it, ifI hadn't rue character of the wolf of the household. stuck a pin in his arm." The latter, upon leaving the library, had sought "Do you accuse me, first deacon of the Con. further interviewawith her.'That ntervie vgregatiomal, and author of your days, of-of .iould be granted also. The father sliould then slumbering in church T" cried the p~areut, exer- be imduced to secrete himself within sight ad cised again. hearing thereof. This was all; but it seemed " I do," replied Susie, who had the decided nevitable that the reverend gentlemans would advantage of him in temper.- " But as to the hus be caught in a toil uf his owvn spinning, and conduct of Mr. Hunkyfell, papa, I think I have gnsominmously spurned from the household, the not mistakemi. It may have been ai serious flirt- anctuary amid the presence of honorable men. ation, commenced by him for the spiritual wvel- Virtue, at last, would be triumphant, and if she fare of his best friend's daughter; as it may be page: 44-45[View Page 44-45] 44 MR. WINKEIELD. unchristian in me not to avail myself of his covered this virtue in me. 0 Mr. Hunkyfell! efforts, I have arranged for him the private in- have you thought so little of me heretofore ?"' terview which he intimated we might have in the said Susie, with the kind intention of assisting conservatory, at an hour rendered convenient by the gentleman forward a little. aunt's customary nap, and your business engage- "Oh I no, not that; but your father's bright ments. Now I have sent for you, papa, that you character has perhaps dazzled me from seeing may be a secret auditor to this conference,. and minutely the virtues of others, even of your relieve you from the position of being a ninny sweet character. I can not, can not but linger any longer." upon this theme. It is to a daughter's ears, and "Ninny! This to your father. Do you ac- before her, as well as every one, will I dvi ell on cuse the author of your days of-of mental- it. I love your father," said Mr. Hunkyfell, with of-unfilial child of Satan !" said Mr. Tomlins, a slight appearance of being pathetic. becoming exasperated again.g ri know you do," replied Susie, somewhat "10 papa! Good morning, Mr. Satan. How impatiently. 111 know you do. But me-tell do you do ?" cried the lively Susie. me, I pray you, tell me, sir, why you wish to see "Ahem !I won't listen to you, you bad me at this time, my dear-Mr. Hunkyfell." child." "I will, I will. But as I do so, let me take I . don't wish you to. I wish you to listen to that dear hand of yours in mine, and then I Mr. Hunkyfell." -can--" "Do you mean to ask me, the deacon of the canAh sir! the trouble of my mind since you so First Congregational, and president of the Seventh rashly revealed your feelings toward me the National, to descend to the mean subterfuge of a other day, is not to be expressed," said -Susie key-hole, in order to become the enemy of-of looking down. my best friend ? Froward child, you do not know " Then you have divined my feelings, dear your own wickedness. This is the working of girl. I thank you. Oh ! now I have hopes, Bunter. And who is this Mr. Winkfield who has strong, yet'tender hopes !" continued the rever- wormed his way into the confidence of your end gentleman, with a gesture which indicated he aunt as well as--" was congratulating himself upon a victory. aunHa! ha! Hush, papa; think of aunt being "And what are these-these tender hopes, in the melting mood! Odear !" dear sir ?" asked Susie. '(" O the fool! why " The idle, disrespectful jest again I" doesn't le take my hand?") "Mr. Winkfield is a handsome, intelligent "Your father is my friend," said .Mr. Hunky- young gentleman, and he is my adviser in this fell, relapsing into panegyrics again. "I am matter, and I don't care who knows it," said proud of that title, and to my last dying day, if Susiejwpettish frankness. I can in the most minute way requite that friend- "AhI! A friend of Bunter's schemes, eh? ship, by gratifying his wishes, by spreading his Very well, I have decided. I will do as you merited famne-by--" wish," replied the father, with temper. "Never "But these hopes," asked Susie hurriedly, was such distractionep-"what are they, sir-my dear Mr. Hunkvfell ?" wMr.Winkfield wished it to be distinctly un- "You are young and artless, and need some' derstood he is here at present merely as Tom's one to direct you. Is it not so, dear girl ?" friend and intercessor. Feeling some delicacy "1Oh ! yes," replied Susie, casting her eyes down from having been conclusively forced to form an again, with stage demureness. ("Ah! he is com- unfavorable estimate of a person whom you as ing at it now!") yet highly esteem, and who is a member of your Your estimable father, for whomI can not-" household,,hle honorably %vishes to defer, until (11Confound it, there he is off again r) you have visible proof of the disloyalty of this "But I see it displeases you to hear me speak villainous fellow, asking you the privilege of vis- thus of your father" iting your family as a friend." tOh B no, no; not at all," said Susie hastily, "of "Hum! A fine commencement of friendship ! course not. But you mentioned hopes, with abetting mutiny in my household P" concluded which I am connected: have you not, dear-sir Mr. Tomlins, with an air which was undoubted- and you-" ly very unfavorable to our hero. 11I have, dear girl. Hopes, strong, tender The hour was toward dark. Susie was walk- hopes. They are of carrying out your father's ing in an alley of the conservatory, now and wishes." then plucking a flower. Her father was con- "My father's wishes I"repeated Susie. cealed beneath one of the lofty stands of plants. "Yes, and they are even stronger now than Mr. Hunkyfell entered, with an easy air. they were when I casually met you in the oratory ' Ah Miss Susie ! you are here, and alone." the other day, and when I would have kissed "Yes, and sir, is it not better, perhaps, that your forehead, for the indications I then saw of the door be closed during our interview ?" said a returning obedience to his desires, upon your Sugio, hesitatingly. part."I " The door? Oh! yes, certainly ;" replied Mr. "What ?" said Susie in astonishment. Hunkyfell. There was a twinkle in his eye, and "My days must be devoted to go d while I he glanced around with the rapidity of lightning. remain on earth. My stay may be perhapsshort, "My dear, dear girl," continued he, approach- I feel worn with my labors in religion's cause. ing her, " you have gratified my inmost wishes."' But it sustains me, it fills mea with etuasm to "Ah ." replied Suirfly.- knw' am supre aly tha m fathu syn " I knew you inherited the kindness, the dis- pathy of your fther, in altm felbors. Howv de- position to generous confidence of your worthy hecious then was it to me to utee o t hat po father," continued the divine. ..tracted exhortations to you on your duytWhlast ." Is it possible that you have but lately dis- father, were at last having an effect. Wen ls MR. WINKFIELD. I met you alone an4 in meditation, I saw tha change, and I have sought this interview to com plete it, dear girl." " What, sir, do you mean to say that-" "But do not reveal to hin my efforts wijti you. I would not that he should kinow of then until their consummation. The delight of hi surprise will be my delight, for it is virtue's, re ligion's cause too, as well as his. Ah I I fee happy. I- S What do you mean by this rhodomontadeF cried the confused Susie. " R1odomontadel Iuch language now? Miss Susan ! can I-can I have been misled in m hopes by the child of my dear benefactor, by her whom I would thus save from false friends from misery, from error?" "Answer ine this question," said Susie, ener getically, " do you mean to say that you did not attempt to kiss my cheek in the oratory, the other day from other motives than interest in my father's wishes ?" "Other motives! Why, what other motives ?" asked the reverend gentleman, with a well-feigned air of painful astonishment. "But it is not you, no, not thc child of my pure friend that speaks. It is the baneful, maliynant influence of the false friends, new and old who are surrounding her with their worldly snares." "Do you mean to say, sir,' continued gasie in a rage, "that you have not sought this interview expressly to make love to me ?" "Your cruel, immodest insult is.refuted by the simple fact that I haven't, " replied the divine in triumph. " But oh ! enough I" Confound it, so you haven't," exploded Susie in bewilderment, "but you wished to, and-and now I see-you knew that, that there might be somebody concealed here in-" "Gracious heaven, somebody here who wil reveal my efforts to your father ! Who ! where!" exclaimed the other, with a well-affected start of consternation. " I am here, my dear friend !" said Mr. Tom. lins, coming forth from behind the shrubbery, and speaking in an agitated voice. "0 0ir ! I apologize for my position, but I do not regret it, for by it I have been enabled to see through the vile designs which would tear me from a noble man, a true Christian, from the best friend I have. My daughter, repair the injury you have attempted, by confessing your crime upon your knees before him, or you are no longer a daugh- ter of inn 1" "Stay !" cried Mr. Hunkyfell; "stay, Mr. Tomnlins, for my sake. I plead with you to stay your anger from your child. Oh! no, she can not wish to impute dishonor to me. She has but been led to err against her better nature, in her fatal attachment for an un worthy, cruel,malignant foe, Ah li I reo-the threat of ber lover's friend. Tush, it is but an imbecile conspiracy !" " What I Bunter's friend, this Winkfield, has threatened you!--and, you-you-" continued Mr. Tomlins, turning to his daughter, "you after lending yourself to this vile attempt, stand mute without a defense for your malice P" "I do not. I will defend my assertions, by asserting them again. Your noble mam, sincere Christian, and true friend, is a perjured, hard- cued traitor ! As for the facts, they are not plainer to me than his motives. But I won't say. t any more to or abont the Wretch ; and that is I- poz!" At this juncture, as Susie very properly burst nto a flood of tears, a sympathetic agitation ap- lm feared at once in the lid of a large tool-box standing at some distance from the scenejn the s conservatory. It opened half-way, shut down, - and then opened entirely, and there stood dis- l closed like a couple of jumping-jacks, two other parties interested in this matter, Mr. Bunter and Mr. Winkfield. The latter chivalrously sought the side of Susie, while the former commenced to hase thuedivine about the al- y leys with a hoe, with which lie proposed to put him to death. He succeeded in knocking him , heavily upon the back by one smart blow, ere Moses by action, and Mr. Tomlins by adjuration, - arrested p4im. The noise at once attracted the cook from the kitchen-the serious footman, and r a pious house-maid from the table-setting and stolen love-making in the dining-room, and last, though not the least interested, as far as Moses was concerned, Aunt Jane from her boudoir. The divine recovered his equanimity, and the judi- cious use of his faculties from the presence of numbers and the threatened procuration of thme authorities by Mr. Tomnins ineae of a fresh out- break of the enemy's malignancy. His triumph was now about to be complete, an(l he seemed chiefly decirous of enjoying it o er our OKeeiVied hero, lie assumed, for that pleasing purpose, an air of magnanimity and Christian forgiveness, truly xasperatingto the latter. "My erring brother, let me forgive your fault," he addressed Moses. " Yours is perhaps not so much that of moral obliquity as a mistaken view. Why, you are pale, sir ? The air within yonder receptacle must have been extremely unhealthful. I sincerely hope you have not risked your health by remaining there too long," continued ie with a tender, Christian solicitude, and agaii a humior- ous twinkle in his eye, meant for our poor her)o alone. " Mr. Tomlins, sir," said the latter, endeavor- ing to be as cool as possible, and addressing the deluded pater-familias for the first time, though at the sane time incidentally endeavoring to run through and transfix the hypocritical divine with a look; "the exposure of this personhas failed. I will not say by any other means than perhaps the low cunning, which is far removed-far me- moved from an intelligent sagacity, sir, and which could only have been foreseen in him, luy persons themselves accustomed to its base use!I" Young mai," replied Mr. Tonlins, 'I am not disposed to listen to accents of what I deem shameless if not criminal effrontery'I " Allow me to observe," continued the bravo but unsuccessful Moses, blushing to the crown of his head, " that I hold those who by prejudice aro blinded to proceedings MagainAt themclives of wicked men, whom they have an opportunity of justly punishing, deserve, if not reprehiension, at least no sympathy. At some future day, when the inevitable dispensation of justice shall be awarded in this matter-" ".Brazen adventurer and reviler of virtuous men !" exclaimed Mi. Tombuhis, "leave my-" "hold, my dear friend," interrupted Mr. Hun- kyfell. " Let us seek, like Christians, this op- portunity to excite him and all ouir errini friends here to steadier virtue, by showing them an cx- page: 46-47[View Page 46-47] 46 ample of meet forgiveness. Let uis embrace them, let us receive them into our confidence, give them our advice, and lead them up to a triumphant re- nunciation of their errors-a sweet, sweet return of good for evil." "1Hear this !" exclaimed Mr. Tomlins, much affected. "Perverse creature, could you find it in N our heart to wrong such virtue ?" "Madam!" said Moses, now philosophically turning to Aunt Jane. "I acknowledge that the glance of reason can never be sufficient, un- ailed, to direct us in every part of our conduct. When it is not stifled by our own passions, it is misled by the deceptions of others. In particu- lar do I think some portion of providential grace is necessary in this cas, by heaven !" "Ye., and oh 1 won't you please repent, sir ?" replied Aunt Jane in timid excitement. "For my sake-for one who to win you from error, is willing to avow that she would reciprocate the tender-" " I beg pardon," said Moses, as the lady hesi- tated, " you were about to observe-" "That I would reciprocate your love, dear youth, were you only a member of the glorious band !" murmured the fragile girl in a sweet reluctant whisper to him. "tHeavens ! wiat a misfortune. Madam, you mistake-you are entirely mistaken !" Moses, vehemently whispered back. The lady sat down involuntarily upon an orange- tree box, and shut her eyes as she heard the fital truth. Hr senses swam, and she fell into mo- mentary insensibility. " I hope, Mr. Winkfield," said the shrewd divine, " though my friend Mr. Tomlins still re- mains inexorable, that I shall meet with you again. I see not only that you possess high talents, but that thee are many virtues in your character, which I think might be strengthened by ny exhortations and advice !" " And a constant contemplation of your in- fernal example. Allow me to observe that you are a rascal, and that any body is a pitiable mole who after five minutes' conversation with you can think otherwise. I am perfectly cool, sir, else I should be tempted to violate the laws of decorum by inflicting upon your person a severe punishment, a very severe punishment. As it is, my selfrespect compels me to leave your presence. Until the scales of prejudice shall have dropped from the eyes of your patron, I fear that justice will be shielded from you through him I" "Young man !" said Mr. Tomlins here, "you can now leave this house. I have already for- bidden my disobedient daughter from receiving the visits of Bunter. I now plainly tell her, if she has a future interview, either with principal or accomplice in this vicious plot, I disown her forever !"! "Never mind, Tom. Never mind, Mr. Wink- field !" here cried Susie cheerfully. " If papa continues to make a ninny of himself, that won't prevent ultimate justice being done. I think you had better go now. I am sick of the whole thing, and am going to dinner." Our hero fatally lingered in his honest efforts to emancipate this worthy family from the toils of deception. In the first place, he attempted to be classically satirical, by reciting a Johnsonian allegory, containing gods and goddesses, upon the subtlety of hypocrisy. In this he was sternly rebuked ere he finished, by Mr. Tomlhin, for add. ing to his other enormities a frivolous and vain display of a knowledge of profane fiction. He then wildly attempted to continue his efforts by making an unsupported assertion that the ebap- lain had deliberately and unblushingly bargained with him, as the party of the second part's agent, to sell his consent to Mr. Bunter's union with Miss Tomlins for the sum of twenty thousand dollars. At this, by the immediate orders -f the irre- coverably exasperated head of the family, and although Aunt Jane faintly protested,and both our hero and the unhappy Bunt-r struggled manfully, they were dismissed in disgace, and with irre- sistible violence, through the side- gate, by the combined efforts of the three male domestics of the house, aided by the Dutch grocer and, his boy, who turned traitors to Bunter at the last moment, from fear of losing the patronage of the house. " By Jove, it is just what we expected to have done to the reverend rascal " ejaculated Moses, as they walked away. " So it is !" said Mr. Bunter, struck with the idea. "It is singular ! The dispensations of Provi- dence, I must say, are very singular-very singu- lar indeed. But, my dear boy, we did the best we could," continued Moses. "And things are perhaps not much worse off than they were be- fore, eh ?" " No, perhaps they are not," said Mr. Bunter dubiously. " And mind you, Bunter, whenever you want my aid, send for inc at once, though not just at present. Perhaps it would not be judicious just now." The grateful but unhappy Bunter heartily thanked Moses for what lie had done, though he seemed compelled to acknowledge the propriety of the latter's opinion of the situation. "Smar t fellow, that Hunk) fell !" said he. "Very," replied Moses. V. "How did he find out what we were up to ?" asked Bunter, in curiosity. " By his infernal cunning, by his infamous craftiness "' replied Moses, vainly efndeavoring to longer repress his anger. "It is my intention, Bunter, it is my intention, by heaven, to----to soundly thrash that gentleman the next time I meet with him, no matter where it.is !" CHAPTER XIX. THE COUNT AND COUNTESS HETHERINGTON. TaE 0yotg people, Mr. and Mrs. Hetherington, with wvhom Moses lodged, were a singularly un- sophisticated couple. They formed what judg- ment they had of men and things from the impos- sible situations, absurd -creatures, and exagger- ated sentiment which are the attractions of sen- sational romance and the gag of the stage. A rational maiden aunt residing at a convenient distance in the country, supplied them with what money and sense they needed for the ordinary purposes of life, and they were thus enabled to pass their hours in all sorts of illusions. He was laboring under the hallucination that lie was I, r 47 doing business by passing daily through the bus ness part of the city, and she that she was house keeping by intrusting her household to an ene getic Irish girl "0 happy innocence of yout and happy young love !" was Moses's reflection while playing at all-fours and drinkihtg tea wit' them one evening in their parlor. What though the wife at times would put on infantile manner and nestle in her husband's lap, or the lord, o the contrary, assume a parental air, or cithie would drink out of the other's cup, or he would kiss her scissors, or she the cracked flute lie ha! been attempting a wheezy melody upon, or woulc produce his picture and passionately contemplat it, if lie happened to leave the room temporarily what though these and other tender little scene. between them somewhat disturbed our hero'E feeling as a conservative philosopher; he never theless enjoyed himself hugely In their society from very sympathy with virtue and innocence In his enthusiasm, he gallantly descanted upon his young host's manly intelligence, and upon hi; hostess's amiable loveliness, indulging in littl complimentary turns of wit, generously subdued to the capacity of their appreciation. "Ai !" said he to Mr. Hetherington, with whom he was playing, while the wife was leaning over her husband's shoulder and fondling him carelessly about his head and ears. "Ah ! the queen of hearts I Yes, fortune has given he to you in this game, and in life too-the queen of all hearts!"- With this heavy inanity, he looked at the lady, who immediately returned a gratified look, and treated him to the sight-of a seemingly un -conscious kisq imprinted upon the cow-lick in the crown of her lord's head. "Have you ever noticed, Mr. Hetherington,' continue the benevolent Moses, making another gallant effort, "how much your wife's nose re- sembles-that of the Greek slave ?" "You don't say so ?" said the young husband, gazing in rapture at-that organ of his loved spouse. " What a wondrous triumph is that illustrious work of art," continued Moses, rendered a little shaky in his principles against flattery, by the sight of the pleasure lie was giving. "Not a feature but is the ideal of artistic perfection." The wife here furtively glanced a woman's glance at the mirror, looked again gratifiedly at Moses, and then to round off the situation, play- fully pulled her husband's nasal organ. "Don't. You hurt !" said the latter, affecting severe pain. Here a short row was improvised for the pur- pose of a lengthy reconciliation. The latter was of such an extremely tender nature, that Moses felt compelled to make a diversion. "Hark ! I thought I heard the fire-bells. No. Never mind V" concluded he, after feigning to listen, "I was mistaken. By the way, we haven't finished the rub, Mr. Hetherington." " And, Mr. Winkfield, suppose my wife plays with me against you ? Mollie, you can sit upon half my chair," replied Mr. Hetherington. "Oh ! that will be so cosy !" exclaimed Mollie. "Certainly, certainly," replied Moses, smiling pleasantly. ("Such tenderness!") "hIm this way you will sit more easily, Mollic," contined Lord Hetherington, putting his arm around his countess. " Is my cheek too rough against yours ? It is unshaven to-day." MR. WINKFIELD. MR. WINKFIELD, ii- "Darling !" whispered the wife in low sariness, e- " the cheek of my darling husband! " r- By a slight snort the husband relieved himself h of the oppression of his temporary ecstasy at this i, exhibition of his wife's microscopic devotion, h and by resuming the play, relieved Moses of a h powerful premonition that lie would be called s, upon to hear more fire-bells shortly. n "Your aunt lives at Waterbury, Mr. Hether- r ington ?" inquired Moses confidentially. d " Yes. She advised us to let one floor to have d a little society in the evenings. We thought of d a lady and gentleman, but we think we are for- e tunate in securing you; (don't we, Mollie?) Not that we are at all tired of each other's so- a eety and wish others, but-" s "Tired .of each other' society !" exclaimed the wife, with a tender reproachful look again at her husband. "0 Rainsford I the thought !" . "But what I mean, dear, is, that it is pleasant to have some one drop in at times, you know." - s " 01,! yes. Yes. To be sure ; and envy us. e Of course, certainly," said the wife recovering. I "And when aunt comes down, it will be so pleasant for her to meet you, Mr. Winkfield!" " And it will be a pleasure to me to meet her, sir," continued our hero impressively. "A pleasure additional to that which I now expe- rience as an observer and man of the world in r witnessing, and as a friend I hope I may say, in sharing the exquisite harmony and happiness of her young relative's household." 2! "Mr. Winkfield, we entertain a great esteem for you, sir; " said Mr. Hetherington impulsively. - " And I thought after all it was better you were a single gentleman of leisure," joined in the wife in an overflow of confidence, "as, being some older than Rainsford, you might more will- ingly take walks with him, and kindly give him advicein his business operations." " Those that I shall shortly enter intoI!" ex- plained the husband. " I will, madam 1" exclaimed our hero, rising in enthusiasm. "I feel it my duty, and your hus- band may consider me as a business friend and commercial brother!!" With this happy arrangement, a game of coup- gorqe euchre was substituted for the single game, which, however, was presently interrupted by the rules of the game compelling Hethering- ton to cruelly aid and abet Mr. Winkfield in beating the countess, thereby causing the latter to burst into a copious rain of conjugal som-row. After holding out for about ten minutes, she granted her repentant husband's earnest suppli- cations for forgiveness, during which Moses inge- niously saved himself the necessity of starting another alarm of fire by undertaking a long apology, thinking that one was due from some- body for the occurrence of the scene. The game was then renewed and continued with partial success, several more sensational epochs occurring during the evening. At last Moses, having heard three additional alarms of fire, two altercations in the street, one knock at the door, and seen three spiders, retired for the night to his own room. He had enjoyed himself much, and he resolved to visit them, fi-equently and give them his advice. "It will be a pleasure. They evidently have taken a fancy for me, a great fancy, amid seek my friendship. Anid they shall have it I 9 6 page: 48-49[View Page 48-49] 48 MR. WINKFIELD. Yes, they are perhaps a little indiscreet in their improvement of the culinary science. Cooking is child-like enthusiasm for each other; it is, in slighted in this country, appetite is regarded as a fact, a little too much at times for, perhaps, a ra- constitutional disease, and meals lightning-like tional being, but it is still emotionally anA exqui- remedies taken at the crisis to assuage its site sight, and with that advice it will be rendered periodical attacks." more exquisite, by becoming gradually more It may be interesting to the reader to know sober and more reasonable. Yes, I must incidentally that the effort at culinary reform in promise myself the pleasure, of visiting them fre- the shape of Parisian dish above referred to, was quently." within three weeks subsequent to its introduction, the cause of at least three duels on paper, six knock-downs, and a large number of petty con- versational quarrels, from the necessary and heat- ing preponderance in its composition of the CHAPTER XX. poiwre over the chat jeus. . Moses was now introduced by his friend to a MOSES SPENDS AN EVENING IN A NEW-YoK gentleman, an old habitud of the club, seated with CLUB-iHOUSE.others in a window, and engaged in the afternoon A rw days subsequent to his domiciliation occupation of reviewing the ladies of fashion as with Mr. Hetherington, Moses was indulging they rolled by in their carriages, or swept along upon the Avenue in the graceful gymnastic exer- the pavement. cise, designated sauntering, when, being overtaken "Nephew of Toplady. Charmed to know, by a young city acquaintance, lately made, he you," said lie. "Sit down. Where is your accepted his invitation to accompany him to his uncle? Haven't seen him lately." club-house, one of the many located upon the , Moses stated that his relative had but lately fashionable street. Moses had heard that, returned from a short sojourn in the country, numbering among the older members many and diverted by the pleasant view from the win- merchants, professional men, and retired gen- dow, took a seat in the alcove with his friend, tlemen of fortune, these establishments were and joined in the common occupation of looking especially adapted to improve the rising youth of out of it. New-York by the practical lessons of experience, "How are you, Tillotson ?" continued the old to cultivate their wit and good taste, to perfect habitue, as a young gentleman with rather red them in the accomplishments of language,conduct, eyes and careless smile came up to him and lean- appearance and behavior, which adorn the gen- ed over his chair to look out also. What is tleman moving in the best society, and in par- the news over at 'The Boys'?",,) ticular to give rise to those warm and lasting at- "I don't know. Ion't go there." tachients which ennoble life. He had been es- "Don't go there ?" pecially pleased to hear that the vices of society "Left. Y'see the butler has bought the mort- to which youth is prone, were strictly excluded gage and bullies the fellers. I think I'll come from the-most of these pleasant associations, that over here." intemperance was considered a disgrace, that the "Certainly. I'll propose you to-night. Hel- name of woman was always mentioned with re- 10, there goes Smilkey, most charming girl on spect, and that the rules of lay were restricted the~ avenue. Eh! what! hallo! eh! I say by the penalty of fines or e pulsion to the-char- who's that she's got with hers? By Jove, it is acter of social pastime. He was consequently that chap, Whatsynam !",., pleased with the opportunity of being introduced "Who is he? I don't recollect him, asked into one of them. Moses's friend inquisitively. Having entered the gorgeous establishment, "Who is he! Fellow of good family enough, and duly admired the mirrors and the frames of but he belongs to that low club down the street, the works of art adorning its walls, his attention where they admit clergymen and have lectures." was called toward an alcove at one end of the Here the speaker was temporarily interrupted. drawing-room, apparently a committee-room of the " Call a man," said he faintly; "two or three institution, for at that time some eight or ten gen- times caught in this way!1 Wilson's tied 'em on tlemen were either seated near a table therein, or too tight again." There was some commotion, moving about the same with the usual air of con- but whether it was the result of the mysterious cern, and the buzzing noise incident to a delibe- manipulations of a domestic about the calves of rative consultation. Moses presently learned that his legs or the hasty consumption of a glass of it was the cuisine committee holding its monthly brandy, he was presently enabled to resume the meeting, and that the momentary subject of their interesting thread of criticism upon the various enthusiastic labors, was the formal admission to passers-by in the avenue below. To all of which the club carte of a piquant dish, the chat jeun Moses listened with some surprise, as he imagined au poivre en ragout, discovered in a celebrated it did not contain that respect for the other sex, six sous Parisian restaurant by a corresponding which he held as one of the first duties toward member, who had immediately secured the recipe them of every male member of society, and he for the club at his own expense. hardly thought that this tone, which appeared to "Our club approves the French method of pervade the conversation of others also upon the cooking, you see," said Moses's friend ; "1treat- interesting subject of woman, fairly sustained the ing it as a fine art should be treated, and giving reputation of the institution or repaid that ad- it due attention." miration which he had observed the fashionable "Quite rightly," replied the enthusiastic Moses. ladies of society generally bestowed upon it. In- m' It is a highly laudable occupation for gentlemen deed, he was forced to conclude that if those fair of Iei-ure. Nothing can be more beneficial to beings should judge this to be the manner in society, especially Amnericamn society, than the which they were there talked about,.they would 11l u1). WINKFIELD. be inclined to look upon the institution as a de- cided enemy to at least one ,-hich they generally prize, the time-honored inwitution of marriage. " Hallo, there goes Dobbin's wife! Ha! ha! Did you ever see such A change in a man ? What a poke he used to be. But she drove him abso- lutely to join us. The poor fellow didn't wish to, at all. Domestic, you know, fond of children. But he's over that. Spends most of his, time here, and is transformed into a regular butterfly, sad dog." Moses reflected that Mrs. Dobbin ought cer- tainly to be a satisfied woman, and was turning to conceal any little doubtful expression of coun- tenance which his thoughts might give rise to, when his vision was met by what seemed to him, to be a gorgeous expression of the fine art of dressing. It was a young man, a youth who might truly be designated as the very perfection of the fashion. That very morn- ing the gentleman had risen early and expended several closely reflective hours, in examining at a proper distance the genius which had been thrown into the breeches he now wore. A re- tirement for deeper study and thorough analysis of the lines of beauty displayed in an accompany- ing coat,-had occupied the heart of the day. An hour of the afternoon had been devoted to a con- sultation with his man upon the proper means of getting into the whole establishment without' marring any of its effect, and finally the sunset hour saw him successfully robed in these rare habiliments, and the dying day was glad to be faintly reflected in their glorious lustre ere it gave up the ghost of its existence. He stood be- fore our hero an astonishing apparition, himself astonished at the wonder of his own creating. He looked at our hero for a short moment. It was but to survey his nether habiliments. A slight faint -smile expanded upon his countenance, and lie turned away. A smile of pity and compassion for the unhappy Moses, one of contempt and scorn for his breeches. Moses again directed his attention to the old gallant, who now proceeded to entertain himself, and those about him with a minute relation of a deeply interesting story 'of real life which had happened during the earlier years of his existence, the hero of which was one of his intimate friends and in which lie himself was subordinately involved. The glorious triumph of this interesting friend appeared to have consisted principally, inthe so- duction of a young and foolish married lady, and incidentally in the murder of her husband, and the breaking of both her parents' hearts. "And he was hanged, of course ?" asked our hero, apparently making a humorous attempt at indignation. "Eh? Ha! ha! Pretty good. Ranged? No. He'll be here soon. He is a glorious fellow. Very popular. If you will wait a little while, I will introduce him to you. You never saw such a facetious old dog as he is! Dry, sir! Dry, as sherry or an old maid's bones !" Our hero felt, no doubt, that if there was as much dry humor displayed in this glorious indi- vidual's remarks as his actions, his conversation might be as effective as Professor Holmes's first attempt at being funny was upon the compositors. So he did not wait to be introduced ; but walked away to another room under the delieatc pretense of seeking his friend, who had temporarily ab- seated himself for a little consultant, with the head cook, intended to be highly advantagu~i,5 to both Moses and himself.s Here he was. occasioned a little surprise, by an attenuated elderly gentleman, of highly respect- able appearance, but still with an unhappy rest- less air, as though something unconcluded was weighing upon his mind, requesting with a polite apology a few moments of private conversation. Moses walked with him to a window. " Do you intend to marry her ?" said the stranger, in a low voice. "What! whom ?" said Moses, in confusion. " The sister of the man with big legs and whiskers," continued the stranger, with weak accents. "You mistake, sir! You are directing to me an inquiry undoubtedly meant for some other party," replied Moses in astonishment. " Oh! Oh! I beg pardon. The room is dark and indistinct. Excuse me !" continued the gen- tleman, "I thought you were the party." " Certainly !" said Moses politely. " She ought to be married at any rate. It is a duty the party owes to other people if not to her," muttered the other with a dissatisfied air and still eyeing Moses, as he walked away. Moses was so much struck with this brief in- terruption that he appealed to his friend when he returned for information upon it. "Oh ! didn't you know him? Why, that is Spen- cey. The fact of it is," replied his friend shortly, "he is a little touched in his cranium. Only a little, though, and solely upon this sub- ject. We don't mind him. But really, the cause of his state of mind is so singular, I must tell it to you." " Do so," said Moses, quite interested. "He was going home from the Club-House at a late hour one evening, when he was followed from its door until he reached'Union Park, by a carriage and two unknown men walking upon the pavement behind him, When lie had gained the Park pavement, the carriage stopped at a short distance ahead of him, the men violently seized him, forced him into it, and stifling all opportu- nity to use his vocal organs, ears, or vision, drove off. After they stopped and Spencey had par- tially recovered from the insensibility, which had been caused by fright and the stuffed bag into which they had inserted his head, he found him- self being made to enter a building which he im- mediately felt to be a church, and presently he knew that he was standing before its altar. A light was ordered to be turned on in a low voice, a hand was placed in his, and upon the stuffed bag being removed from his head, he discovered him- self in an unknown sanctuary, standing before a clergyman in vestments, with an unknown female in agitation by his side, and another and older female in equal agitation supporting her, while two other gentlemen were seated at a short distance. "'You know the meaning of this. Refuse to go on with the ceremony, sir- and you die!' whis- pered a large man with large whiskers, in the af- frighted Spencey's left car, and furtively pressing the muzzle of a pistol behind it. "In all human probability, though a-bachelor of many years' confirmation, he would in two inoi'e minutes have been irrevocably married to a female, whom he had never seen before and who was also not remarkably attractive, if the down- 49 page: 50-51[View Page 50-51] 50 MR. WINKFIEo cast ar 7orithe convulsed bride, had not been e directed to his legs, (you observed, he hadrather thin ones,) and thus to his face. She gave a subdued shriek, murmured, 'It is not he l' and fell in insensibility upon the pavement, and amid the confusion incident upon the discov- ery she had made, Spencey followed her example. When he recovered, he found himself being eject- ed from a hack in an obscure street as forcibly as he had been made to enter it, and while restoring his ill-used person to an erect posture, he observed it driving away in the distance. He ran wildly about, found the avenue to his residence, reached the latter, put himself to bed, and after a week's delirium, rose from the same, with his wits per- manently disordered, at least as far as the neces- sity of this unknown girl's marriage is presented to him in connection with his own future peace of mind." " That is the most extraordinary adventure I ever heard of," exclaimed Moses, striking the table before him emphatically. " He wisely conjectures it was some fellow con- nected with the Club, whom they were after, but very irrationally imagines strangers whom he meets here, to be the derelict person ! Hence came his mistake in approaching you." "Well, that incident is extremely singular," reiterated Moses. " The parties had either imbibed too strongly for the occasion, or their faculties of perception had been unjointed by their excitement. Unluck- ily for him, the mystery has riever been solved. The parties undoubtedly were frightened with their own violence, or else knew it would be of no use to attempt to find the real fellow. They've never been heard of. But let's to dinner." And thereupon' Moses accompanieVl his enter- tainer to the dining-room. After casually observ- ing a youthful gentleman who having been abroad, was endeavoring to give tone to-the es- tablishment, by dining as he had seen it done in England, to wit, by taking a chop and a pint of sherry, reading the afternoon journal, looking languid and observing the effect of the whole on the spectators, and also after observing another young gentleman, who was introducing the fash- ion as he had seen it, to wit, getting very drunk and going to sleep over his chop, newspaper, and sherry, Moses proceeded to and through a dinner which certainlydid honor to the regulations of the fastidious committee, and which he felt a modern Gil Blas would have pronounced worthy of Dr. Spring, Tyng, McCloskey, Bellows, or any of the present hierarchy. When the repast was finished, he enjoyed the further facilities whic the Club furnished for the amusement of its fre quenters in the form of "the Club" game of whist at sixpence point, that being well known as the maximum stake allowed in the establish ment. With his usual impetuous enthusiasm in matters which could afford pleasure to thosE around him, he here entered fully into the spirit of this curious game, and after a prolongation of the amusement for two hours, discovered upor rising from the table for the purpose of partakinE of a lobster salad, that he had lost four dollar and been fined four hundred and twenty for va rious violations of the game. He was surprised ti observe though it struck him as a very common dious arrangement, that this matter of fining wa intrusted to the members at play themselves, an I that during the %vening the rules of the institu- tion were being ctestantly vindicated by weighty penalties enforced 'ty these parties upon each other. He now joined again in the conversation and although many disputes arose therein, in con- sequence perhaps, of the consumption of too much unnecessary wine, he saw that they were politely confined to mere logomachy by a -ery curious but highly laudable practice among the members-a practice, which appeared to be an- other rule of the institution for preserving its re- putation for high tone, consisting in both parties promptly challenging each other and then in- stantly withdrawing their warlike notes. As many as five of these interesting exchanges took place during his presence there. As to the style of conversation, he speedily became aware that the entertaining topics which had been discussed before dinner were very popular ones in the es- tablishment. Although several old merchants now and then endeavored to bring upon the tapis the public events of the day, or sequestered themselves at times in small knots for a quiet discussion of a punch and commercial matters, it was observable sooner or later that the entire assemblage swam in the more vivacious channels of thought,- the scandal of the day; and those who hadn't much to say, listened to what others said about every body's wife or mistress, horses, dogs, or servants. He became bewildered, and toward midnight he rushed from the establishment, resolved, among other things, to destroy the peace of the first quiet family he could get at. In the morn- ing the result of his few reflections upon the in. stitution, was, that it might be considered, as a, dining-house, a very praiseworthy institution. Whether his previous views thereon in other re- spects were confirmed or not, it is perhaps not necessary for us to state. CHAPTER XXL AN UNSATIsFACTORY ONE TO MOsES, Mosgs had noiw become quite intimate with Mr. Wagbull's excellent family. Though the old lady still kept up her mysterious propensity to view h;m with disfavor, he nevertheless managed, by his propitiatory conduct, to prevent her aggres- sive movements from coming to violence and blows. When, however, upon his last afternoon call, he imagined he observed a coldness and re- serve in the manner of her granddaughter, he was suddenly reminded there might possibly oc- cur more disagreeable results of the ancestral in- - fluence, than if the old lady should be led to in- sert a sharp instrument in a vital portion of his person, or to scatter the physical nest of his t mind with a fire-arm. He looked earnestly at Miss Wagbull for the moment, as if to descry the 1 cause of the barometer's fall, and asked her dubiously if her grandmother was well. S "Oh ! yes, sir," replied the young lady. "But are-are you a little indisposed yourself, o Miss Bessie ?" continued Moses lugubriously. - V ou are scai cely in your usual spirits to-day, stare you ?" , d" Oh ! yes, sir," replied Bessie, appearing to MR. WINKFIELD. 51 make a momentary effort, and immediately re- lapsing into conversational incapacity. "But you are engaged now ?" continued Moses deferentially. " And shall I-" "Oh ! no, sir," replied she. "How cold the weather is again!" continued Moses after a pause. " Oh ! yes, sir.- "It is very disagreeable, very, outside. Have you been out to-day, Miss Bessie ?" " Oh! no-that is, I mean yes. Yes, sir," re- plied she. Here there was another pause, in which the young lady courteously endeavored, by trifling with her watchguard, to appear at ease, and too evidently failed thereat. "**see the Huguenots is to be performed on Wednesday night," continued the perplexed Mo- ses, hunting in vain for some conflagrating sub-' ject. "Y es-yes, it is." "You will go, of course." "Oh ! yes, sir.-" "By heaven, but the role of Valentine is very dramatic; do you not think so, Miss Wagbull ?! "Oh! yes, sir," replied the young lady. Here she made a great effort and added, "Very, very much so." The tremendous length of this remark, under the circumstances, encouraged Moses so much, that he immediately exclaimed with an air of en- thusiasm, " And won't you sing rPlus blanche que "a blanche hOhn!ine for me, Bessie ." "Oh! yes. Yes, I will." "But mind you, don't sing if you feel at all disinclined. I would not ask you against your wishes, you know, never, Bessie. That is, if you are not in voice to-night, or-you are not in voice to-night ." asked he vehemently. "Oh! no; that is, I really fear I am not." The song was not sung, and the conversation continued for almost an half-hour longer in the same brilliant style, which the young lady varied slightly, however, by two or three confused- at- tempts to excuse herself for inattention and ab- straction, thereby rendering the situation much more awkward. Unable to dispel the too evident peculiarity in her manner, Moses finally made a desperate effort, and tore himself away in an un- sati fled state. "Yes, sir, and no, sir! Confound it, what does she mean by that ? It is either the grandmother or dullness, and I will visit some place of amuse- ment." Moses was never more mistaken inhis life. It was not the grandmother, nor did the young lady feel at all dull. On the contrary, she felt unusu- ally strong emotions that afternoon, and on his account, too. The fact was, that during the morning, she had visited Stewart's, and upqn driving down a by-street, near the Fourth avenue, she saw him looking hastily around while in the not of making up to an old rheumatic negro with charity in his hand. She was much affected by the look of gratitude upon the useless darkey's face, but she could not help laughing at the ab- surd air with which the ridiculous Moses feigned to abusively order off the ancient mendicant as some one approached them. The act lent her estimate of his character such dignity, that it had momentarily scared her from the pleasant terms of friendship into the fiekd of terrible respect, To dissipate the impressions of her demonstra- tion thereof, and at the same time to improve his knowledge of the real world and the refined amusements which is afforded to the student of the ideal one, by the ingenious appliances of stage paint and machinery, he proceeded in the evening with Mr. Titman to witness a representation of the Lady of Lyons. Mr. Titman was much impressed with the characters and the audience, the manner in which the orchestra crawled in from beneath the stage, the introductory tasting of his instrument by the clarionet-player, the wrestling with and final per- pendicular erection of the double-base, by the lit- tle old musician with spectacles and snuffy nose, and the dignified assumption of the musical throne by the smiling leader. His absorption in the play itself was shown in the fidelity with which he followed the various expressions upon the actors' faces, with similar ones upon his own, and their gestures by sympathetic reflections. Upon one occasion, when one of the exercised characters started convulsively from his seat with a forcible gesticulation, Mr. Titman also jumped up, with one sufficient to alarm a consumptive gentleman in frout of him, attract the eyes of many of the audience, and arouse the vigilance of the policeman in attendance. By these pecu- harities of the susceptible Dibbletowyer augment- ed by the eccentricity with which a 'a rentle- man seated near by manifested his appreciate. of the melodrama, Moses's ardent endeavors to imbibe the true sentiment of the romantic play were rendered quite sterile and unavailing. This party, though evidently not subject to the weak- ness of pathos, still had a manner of his own of enjoying the play. Every thing in it was unmiti- gatedly funny to him, except, perhaps, the scenes which the distinguished author intended to be such. From the commencement of the evolution of the tender element, he indulged in ill-controlled ecstasies of laughter, and the perspiration rolled from his brow in his efforts to subdue to decorum his visible agitation thereat. When the eloquent description of the young horticulturist's imagin. ative Alpine home was reached, the old gentleman was unable to control his peculiar appreciation of the play any longer. With an emphatic and au- dible utterance of a very vulgar but popular word, expressive of a profound sense of the ridiculous, he rose, and being kindly assisted from the house by the knightly bearer of the locust, soon reached the street, in which the noise of his continued ex- plosions might be heard dying away, as he gradu- ally receded in the distance. This distraction, together with the annoyance caused by the per- sistence with which a facetious party in the gal- lery above him continued to drop programmes, orange-peel, and other little valueless articles upon his head, and also the proximity of a gentleman behind him, who was partial in his repasts to that fragrant vegetable, the onion, rendered the even- ing, whether considered in the light of an emo- tional exercise with the sentimental muse, or as a philosophic one of critical observation, entirely unsuccessful and barren in its results upon our hero's being. This compels us, in consequence, to close this chapter without any particular illus. trations of the principles of dramatic science, which we might other wise had an opportunity of recording. After having abstractedly followed Titman into page: 52-53[View Page 52-53] 52 MR. WINKFIELD. a lager-beer cellar, and accidentally drank a glass of that beverage while there, Moses. presently re- tired home and to bed. CHAPTER XXII. SYMPTOMATIC CASE OF A DISTEMPER TO WHICH IN- EXPERIENCED AFFECTION IS VERY LIABLE. WHEN he was not engaged in the evening, Mr. Winkfield was frequently accustomed to resort to the Hetherington parlor, there to cultivate the society of the youthful couple, and sometimes during the day he would accept the young mar- quis's invitation to walk with him in the purlieus. On these latter occasions, the wife generally bade her husband adieu, as if he were departing for a long voyage, and the young lord appeared to be laboring under the same impression, for no sooner did he leave her sight, than he would begin to write short notes of love and encouragement to her upon his hat in the street, -nd dispatch the same to her by the swiftest running messenger or idler near by. Tbh benevolent Moses was becqm- ing more ar9 more interested in them, and took great F,1ns in delicately offering to their inexperi- .ice all the applicable rules of life which he could remember or deduce. His enthusiasm rose to a great height, and he thought he. saw clearly a gseat change in them, which he proudly attri- buted to their contact with him and his philoso- phy. If there may have lately appeared a slight peculiarity in the conduct of both toward him, it was either imputed to his own fancy or to the slight excess of the interest which they woulc naturally endeavor to show in him. He was a little mystified on several occasions, by observing after some remark he had made, in particular of a complimentary nature, that they would both obtusely stare at him for a while, then look a each other with a slight appearance of consterna tion, and finally smile in a forced manner to ac knowledge the same. He also once or twice dis covered the young count, supported by. the coun tess, listening at his keyhole; and he further no ticed that while the count less frequently propose the customary walk with him, they now invari ably followed him to the front-door when he wen out, subsequently appearing at the front-windov to follow him with their gaze until he had disap peared from the street.I "A great interest. They are taking a grea interest-in me," thought Moses in generous pride "1And they manifest it in this original way, th droll creatures !" . On one occasion, having learned from him tha he intended to leave the city for a short period and after a circunlocutory extraction from him o the proposed duration of'his absence, the youth ful count simultaneously paid a flying visit to hi; aunt in Waterbury, and returned in the evenin train. The conversation which ensued upon his am rival, and the joyful embrace of his spouse, ma be interesting to the reader, and perhaps of am sistance in elucidating the mystery which wasb ginning to envelop our hero in his relations wit his host and hostess. I" He has already got back and been here," said the countess. "Say any thing?" asked the young husband briefly but expressively, after they had sat still for some moments. COUNTEsS.-" Yes." COuNT.-" Allude to your nose again ?" COUNTESS. -"es." " It must be so!" continued the count. " What do you suppose led him to select us ?" " It was the advertisement." "Oh! no. It could not have been that. Look at him. He has no business, he says. He wishes to aid us with his friendship and advice. Yes, it is deliberate. He conducts himself properly now, in order that he may be the more unsus- pected. Luckily, I have been awakened in- time." Painful silence for a few moments. " Yes, if ever villain was written in a human countenance in legible characters, it is surely iun his. But why need we anticipate fresh evils ." re- sumed the unhappy husband, making an effort to be cheerful. "Though we be bewildered by the extent of our present ones, do we not love each other, dear? And shall not that sustain us against all the rude assaults of the world, of peniwry, and with the ad of the strong arm of Bridget, of such stoopers to deception, and un- principled monsters searching for their prey as this one?' " My dearest duck, never shall I be found suf- ficiently liberal in my most unguarded moment to enable him ever to mention the subject of a sympathetic confidence to me, And should he do so, you know, I can easily call the cook! " " Oh! yes, and let the miscreant, as he would thus prove himself to be, feel himself then if he I dared a match for Bridget. We can not let her know about this matter now. But she must be prepared as she was to day for such an emergen- cy. Let her keep the kettle constantly boiling i during his presence in the house, or let her have the pepper-canister convenient b the door at - all times." - " What a mysterious fate envelops us, in this - our early life of wedded existence, my Rainsford! - Is it not strange that the evil which menaces us should have penetrated even to our hearthstone, d ere we were awakened from unconsciousness .. and laid its meshes, like a malignant fowl, on our t very threshold and staircase ?" V " Spider, my dear. Never mind. We must watch and be guarded. -he slightest movements of his daily career m1e of immense impor- t tance in teaching the h of his malignant . wiles." e ," Why didn't he fall in love with some single lady? There are so many who would run away t with him in a moment, if that was all lie wanted." " My dear, he could not help it, the scoundrel f lie could not resist your fatal beauty, the miser- - able rascal ! You are too, too beautiful." s The conversation here ended, for the youmg g lady fell precipitately on her husband's neck, and whatever emotions or thoughts they bad to ex- r- press, for some time were more beautifullyand y affectionately communicated in actions of bland- .- ishment, h I MR. WINKFIELD. 53 ()TA tEI XXIII. philosophical truth derived from historic exam- rm ARncitmdrciT. SOCIETY. AN BISTORICAL 'pe. Moses had frequently observed this person SCHOLAR. within the library, or.in the neighboring thor- oughfares, generally hastily wending his way 'MosEs frequently visited, among other institu- thereto. On one of these latter occasions, how. ions, the magnificent library of the New-York ever, he remembered to have observed him stop- Archwological Society, and was much impressed, ping in front of the large window of a cook. not only with the immense amount of learning shop, into which he appeared to look earnestly upon its shelves, but also with that which existed and lingered as if unwilling to break the charm in the heads of the philosophers composing this of the thoughts, historical probably, which oc- distinguished society. One of the original quali. cupied him, by moving on. On another, he had fications for admission to membership, that the by chance discovered him in a retired angle, of a candidate should be one hundred and seventy coal-yard not far from the library, eating his years of age, was some time ago modified to re- luncheon in the form of a cold bone, in the most ceive parties who were literally not so old, but furious manner, no doubt, the result of his ex- could be proven to have about the amount and treme desire to be at his loved labors again. quality of wisdom and learning which persons "Such is the mysterious power of genius over of that advanced age may be naturally supposed the worldly habits of its gifted possessors," to possess. The consequence of this was an im- thought Moses. "Naught but the sacred fire mense influx of genius into the ranks of the in- which burns in their bosoms is felt by them. lon. stitution from the various walks of society. As ors, fashions, appetites, ay, even the acute plea- a proof of the talent which pervades the estab- sure of the possession of wealth or the acute lishment, both in its internal management and pain of the want of it, are unnoticed." external relations, we will simply cite the mas- As these reflections rose in the mind of Moses terly system of refection, by the impressive cere- he unconsciously was attracted toward the re- monies of which most of the members, who, sati- treat of the scholar. The latter was pausing for ated with their own'and every body else's learn- a moment from his labors, and as he looked up lnug, would not otherwise have come, are in- he caught Bight of the spootacles and visage of veigled into paying the society ten dollars a year our hero. The habitual respect for the presence and walking two miles every fortnight to its of intellect, was perhaps traceable upon that rooms to get a sandwich, which they might obtain countenance, for an indescribable but deeply at home for nothing. marked shadow which passed rapidly over the One day, after Moses had expended an hour or student's face, gave place to a sympathetic glance two in the picture-gallery, studying the extraor- toward Moses, and he remarked: dinary specimens of art, called Pre-Raphaelites, "Fine day, sir. I hope it doesn't look like and in the museum, hob-nobbing in imagination, rain." with the mummied water-carriers, supposed to be "Oh! no," replied Moses. Pharaohs, he returned to the library-room. "Take a seat, sir-take a seat," continued the In one of the alcoves thereof, especially de- genius, concealing the appearance of an invita- voted to rare histoties and documents connected tion by emerging from the alcove to look up at with the American Revolution, sat a gentleman, the sky-light. who appeared to be earnestly plunged in histori- " I am afraid I am interrupting you in your cal investigations of great difficulty and labor. labors, sir." His table was covered with ancient documents "Oh ! no, sir; no, sir," replied the literary gen- and musty books, turned down for convenient tleman earnestly. " I am only too happy, sir. reference, and while ever and anon he ran his Our labors, you know, at times require us to fingers ecstatically through his grizzled hair, or pause, and the pleasure of your society, sir, will darted at one of these references as some sudden be very acceptable, and-" thought struck him, he disclosed to the observer "Not at all! But I beg your pardon," con- the eccentricity of genius, in an utter disregard tinted Moses. " You were about to observe-" for the apparently slight tenure of his habili- "Ah! yes; living at some distance from here, ients. Frequently a disengaged end of a collar in Westchester, I was a little afraid of the rain. played unnoticed beneath the ear, or the ends of I must have the exercise, you know," replied the a yellow cravat hung at the back of the neck of stranger, fully started; "and besides that, the this absorbed devotee of history. The tight ladies, the silly creatures, must keep up their dress-coat, apparently made in the times whose shopping with the carriage, and I tell them never events he was investigating, was buttoned un- to mind me. In fact, I always walk! Fine ex- evenly, and a large red handkerchief appeared ercise. The finest, I think, can be resorted to V" from its rear pocket, in constant solicitude to es- " How far from the city is your place situated cape the confines of the gloomy keep. His pan- sir?" asked Moses, in quite an interested man- taloons reached nearly to his ankles, and these nor, which appeared to please the stranger very were encased by the legs of blue yarn stockings, much. the remainder of which were hidden by a pair of " Eight or nine miles from here, sir. The air figured India-rubber shoes, apparently an experi- is delightful there. The little chicks-my little mental effort of the first patentee of caoutchouc. ones, sir, are healthful, and riotous with its in- Though his hair and whiskers were gray, and vigorating influence. I determined that tme lines of care and perhaps anxiety were visible country was the only place," continued the stran- upon his brow, our hero could see that it was no ger, with increased volubility, "for a person wtha old man, endeavoring to grow young again by family. There is a fine select school near, which passing his time with the ghosts of his ancestry, but is quite popular among the gentlemen of the person who twas still a young man enthusiasti- neighborhood. Mostly gentlemen's residences ally fitted by natural tastes to teach the world about." page: 54-55[View Page 54-55] 54: MR. WINKFIELD. As he happened to mention the youthful con- "I am sorry to disturb you, Mr. Lampson, and stituents of his family, a look passed over his you, Mr. Winkfield," hete interrupted'the gen- face which seemed to Moses for the moment to tiemanly librarian, who had approached, " but look extremely like that of misery, and which my clerk informs me that the lecture-room below was apparently so sincere and genuine, that our is on fire " hero, while fumbling for his card to present to "But in no less than three of these docu. the stranger, experienced some difficulty in satis- ments there appears-" continued the scholar factorily attributing it to the mere literary eccen- absorbedly, while grasping one of the books be- tricity of the scholar. However, he was led to fore him- that conclusion by the subsequent conversation "God bless me!" interrupted Moses, "I am of the other. fearful that the conflagration below will-" " I beg pardon, I've left my cards. This is my " In three, at least, the following statement address, sir," said the scholar, writing his name appears," continued the scholar triumphantly. upon the inside of an empty match-boxcover. " Mark you well that natural discrepancy which "I shall be happy to see you, ahem, at our little tends rather to increase than diminish the credi. farm I Indeed, Mrs. Lampson and myself will bility of the testimony, and-" 1 drive in for yousome day, if you will grant us the " My dear Mr. Lampson," roared Moses, in pleasure of your society at our plain country mingled astonishment and alarm, "My dear sir, board I" save yourself! The lecture-room below has be. Moses stowed away the box-cover with much come ignited and the flames may envelop-". care, upon which he read the name of "Joseph " Never mind, never mind, calm yourselves, Lampson, Westchester County," and duly noticed gentlemen," said the gentlemanly librarian, again the affability of the scholar. approaching, "my clerk informs me that it is an " Your labors are very confining, sir," said he, unfounded alarm, merely a smoke issuing from a looking at the numerous papers and documents furnace." spread upon the table; "but society and poster- , Here Mr. Lampson, as an especial mark of his ity will be grateful to you for them, and such an prepossession in favor of Moses, offered to read incentive must surely be sufficient to dissipate confidentially a few chapters of his work to him. any feeling of weariness, after all !" As the hour for his leaving had arrived, however, "Very confining, indeed; but I do-not mind it a most irritating fact to him, no doubt, Mosee at all. See," replied the other, warming into was obliged to decline the intellectual treat, and great enthusiasm as he reverted to the subject of shortly left the premises. his studies before him, "you have heard of my paper on Simkinson, that-wily and principal con- -- spirator in the Gates cabal against Washington. Since that was read before the Society, sir, in CHAPTER XXIV. pursuing my investigation, and from certain pe- ,W, culiar aspects of certain facts contained in vari-D- ous of these documents which you now see be- AT Mr. Wagbull's dinner-party, Moses met fore you, I have discovered-I have discovered, many sensible persons and noted many valu- sir," continued he, with an air of intense import- able ideas, which were exchanged upon the vari- ance, "the true and only estimate which should ous topics of society, literature, friendship, and be placed upon his character. In fact, Bancroft religion. The old lady, for the nonce, neglected himself, whose ears it has reached by rumor, has him, as her time was quite engrossed with a new privately confessed, to some friends of mine, that fatuity upon the part of the Irigh page-; who, I have benefited history in a manner which he having a new suit of livery adorned with large never would have thought of, and that the theory bright buttons and devised by the old lady her- which I have placed upon Simkinson is only equal- self, appeared to be impressed with the conviction ed in its bearing upon the general history of the that he was an army officer of distinction. What Revolution, by the singular facts upon which it with constantly propping himself against the pil- is founded. All these facts I have not formally lars of the dining-room, and screwing himself promulgated. My object is not to create sensa- around to secure a rear view of his new habili- tional turmoil in literary circles, although rumor ments, or foolishly standing before the beaufet- has already been busy at work among historical glass with closed eyes, for the impossible purpose scholars." of seeing how he would look lying dead on the " Ah! yes. I should imagine it," cried Mosesp field of battle, and the consequent neglect of his "She is generally the forerunner of great benefits duties as assistant-retainer at the table, it raised to literature and science." the old lady's exasperation to such a pitch that " And, sir, I will now confide to you," con- she did not hesitate to give him short lectures, tinued the old young scholar-" Oh!1 how I love in a shrill voice, at intervals of the whole ban- history !" parenthetically ejaculated he, as if he quet. had suddenly been called to give an account of It had fallen to Mr. Toplady's lot to be his labors before an inexorable judge, "it is my placed at dinner by the side of Miss De Pompen- life, my passion. I can not-can not resist it. -I kops, the heiress of the old Dutch horticultural will now confide to you and your honor, with the family of that name, and intimate friend of the injunction of temporary secrecy, mind, mere tem- Waghulls. The common stock and ancestral porary secrecy, until my work is published and head of which the Pompenkops of Anmerica secure from t'he wretched garbling of Numhead, boast, was an honest market-gardener, who came the fact that Simkinson was not only of bilious tem- from Holland in the seventeenth century. The perament and had-by the way, you are already stock and head, of which he boasted, was the. aware probably, that his nose was broken in in- cabbage stalk, the head of cauliflower. Knicker- fancy, but-" Ibocker, in reference to his professional enth- MR. WINKFIELD. siasm, says, "he was proud of his seed." His posterity imitate him closely; so are they. Mr. Toplady knew all this, but it was not the head of cabbage but the sweet cabbage-rose, which now represented that illustrious family at Mr. Wag- bull's, if the vegetable simile may be pardoned; and to continue the metaphor, we may say he de- voted himself to besprinkling it with a rather large-sized watering-pot of flattery. Owing partly to his constitutional timidity and partly to the constitutional hauteur of the young lady, we have to chronicle that his efforts, both to dine and to converse, were, perhaps, but partially success- ful. He was afraid to be brilliant, lest he should be cynical; and he was afraid to be good-na- tured, lest he should be commonplace. He therefore vibrated, during the dinner, between the two, and had the appearance of being neither. Nevertheless, when he rejoined the ladies in the drawing-room, his nature, inspirited by the re- freshment of the repast, completely asserted it- self; for he then had enough wit in his memory, and imagination in his reason, to make himself an object of decided distinction. On the same principle that champagne is improved by ice, Miss De Pompenkop's natural coldness had-the pleas- ant effect of making his sparkling efforts to entertain her extremely refreshing to those who observed them. During the course of the evening, Miss Wag- bull again entertained Moses; and, in the enun- ciation of some views upon the duties of her own sex, she manifested such unaffected modesty, yet such a nobleness of thinking, that it deeplyI moved him. There was no truer eloquence thanI the simplicity of her manner and language, and the truths which she uttered seemed adorned' and improved by a disposition in which innocence and reason were united. She seemed to think that, as the grand object of education was moral excellence, domestic life was the best fitted to cherish that of woman. Her self-conceit might be corrected, her taste purified, her understand- ing raised by moderate contact with the world; but she seemed fitted by nature to best adorn the interior of a private life; for her interests were there. "They do not seem to understand woman's true duties," said- she, "who seek to do away, on the ground of her dependence upon man, with distinctions which increase the mutual benefits, and enhance the satisfactions of life. In that dependence lies, not only our security, but our happiness." n y o s b Ou There is nq imputation of inferiority in her dependence upon man," interrupted Moses warm- ly. "Each sex.has its proper excellencies, which are derived from a mutual dependence." "Yes, woman has her influence upon man," continued Bessie, blushing; "but the amiability which captivates his spirit, the elegance which soft- ens his manners in society, is derived from the moral excellence, which the consciousness of her real duties gives her. She can not long use her boasted power over him, to no higher purpose than the gratification of her vanity, her desire for notoriety, or the indulgence of pleasure, without producing disgust in him and danger for herself. It seems to me, therefore, that those of our sex who have an ambition to shine in society, as it is called, commit a fundamental error. The virtues of woman have nothing dazzling; it is only her vices that can be conspicuous, and she may thus become, not an object of contempt or hate, but of compassion; for even one imprudence upon her part may tarnish a thousand excellent quali- ties. Yet it should not be accounted a hardship, but a privilege, that her character is so delicate as to be sullied by the slightest breath of calumny, and that the stain is indelible; for by this she is led to shrink from all those irregularities, those notorieties, which impair her excellence in the performance of her duties." " And there is another reproach which may be cast upon us," continued she earnestly, "and which in turn might ask its reformation from you, and that is, the habit of constant falsehood of living to conceal ourselves. As we are in- structed from infancy to please you, we have no other care but to conceal that which will be dis- pleasing to you. The yoke of constant dissimu- lation has been imposed on woman by her posi- tion; but to show herself as ehe is, to frankly confess her faults, is what a true woman longs for. When you convince us that you love truth, we will tell it to you always-always !" " Were all women as you, Miss Wagbull," said Moses, deeply approving her candor, "they would lose nothing by doing so." " Woman's ambition is to be loved," resumed she. 1"If you wilt say she becomes lovely by her sincerity, the sex would strive unaffectedly in this; but you worship the charms of her person, the illusion of, her manners, and each tries who shall charm and deceive you the most. As for our wars, our jealousies, our little animosities and bickerings, their consequences are perhaps not more serious than yours," concluded she, smiling; "and when you say that something more solid shall take the place of our frivolous tastes and humors, the latter will also disappear." " Yes, and I now see that there are women who can nobly rise from under the pressure of a disadvantageous system of education and of so- ciety, and exhibit the most decided marks of a vigorous understanding and correct judgment," said Moses in sincere admiration. CHAPTER XXV. MOSES nEcEIVES AN ODD NOTE. UPON his invitation to dinner at Mr. Wagbull's, Moses had procured a very beautiful japonica, which he intended as a peace-offering to the grandmother thereat. He was met at the door of his lodgings by Mrs. Hetherington, who feigned great admiration of it. Moses very gal- lantly forewent the intended onslaught on the old lady's animosity, and presented his young hostess with the flower. Her husband appeared from his hiding-place on the kitchen stairs, as soon as the innocent Moses repaired to his room. They said nothing at the moment, and soon sought their bower. "Hush! There he goes out I" said the count at last, when Moses, having donned his dress- coat, left for Mr. Wagbull's residence, . " He is going .to a party to-night. What a beautiful flower this is!" said the counters, Yes," replied the count briefly. "le is very kind, and certainly has taste," page: 56-57[View Page 56-57] MR. WINKFIELD. 57 56 MR. WINKFIELD. continued the countess, with woman-like weak- ness. " H'm! Well, perhaps he has," replied the husband somewhat gruffly. " And, what a pity it is he should undertake to be so bad. He was so pleasant to me, when he gave it me, and-" " Ma-am!" cried the count sternly; "Mary Matilda Watson !" " What is the matter, Rainsford ?" "You think to deceive me, ma'am? You would deceive your legally constituted husband ?" "Why, dear, what do you mean?" "But I'll thwart you, madam; I'll thwart you," exclaimed the husband, jumping about in an alarming manner. "I'll thwart you and the partner of your schemes! I'll call the police! I'll have the assistance of the authorities, of aunt, the sheriff, with military aid, if neces. scary !" Here the inhappy'young man flew about in a frenzy, which a too vivid imagination had pro- duced, slapped things indiscriminately, threw the japonica upon the floor, jumped upon it vigor- ously, and dared his wife to attempt to stop him in his frantic career. " You have a plan !" roared he to his aston- ished, frightened little lady. "A plan! I-a-what-what do you mean ?" " You have a planu a preconcerted, pro-con- cocted plan !" "t ' haven't," said the eqnfused Mrs. Hether- ington vehemently. "You-have !" said the count, in furious reek- lessness. " You. intend to run away with this Winkfield to-morrow morning at half-past six. I see it all!"1 "Heavensy! I don't ! What ! you accuse your own wife of-" " You do !" reiterated the count. "Aha! I see confession in your eye !" " You don't. You are mad-you, my hus- band, to-"' . " Do you mean to say," asked the count, "that you have not made an arrangement with this miserable ravening rooster and unprincipled wretch, to-to desert me P" No!" exclaimed the wife hysterically. "Then you 4on't love him, Mary Watson, and admire his devilish flowers ?' " 0 Rainsford !" " And vou don't think him handsome, and like his legs?"' " No. He is a nasty, good-for-nothing, ugly man!" cried the wife energetically, amid her tears; " and I hate him!"- " 0 my darling wife !" exclaimed the repent- ant lord in sudden remorse. "Have I been rash? Have I done you a wrong ?" "My Rainsford ! my own Rainsford !" " Now hushed be every fear. Where, oh! where is my own wife, that I may once more hold her to my bosom!", The cloud had passed. After some sacred mo- ments, they were sufficiently restored to be able to concert together further defense against the common enemy. " We must continue to dissemble," said the count- " We must treat the heartless spoilern with the smile on our lips, yet with vengeanc ready in our hearts. When tihe fell ruffian, witi impious, hands would snatch you hence, th~ atrocious villain shall fall beneath my arms-and legs-or if not mine alone, Bridget's !'" " But let us warn him. Let us write a letter and warn him. It may have the effect of stop- ping him." "A letter, eh ?" "A letter, and sign it as if it came from some one who saw his wicked plans-anonymously P" " You are right, Mollid. The very thing, if we make it strong. We will make the wretch tremble in his shoes, even now.", That evening, returning from the dinner-party, Moses found on his dressing case the following epistle addressed to him, and headed: ATROcIoUs MEMBER OF SOCIETY! " Think you that the glance of your eye, like that of the basilisk, shall transfix your victim ? Let the evil spirit, assuming a human form wreathed with sunny smiles, beware! E'en now, despite superstitious dread, may he be de- nounced and hurled from his station. If he may be tortured by the unceasing dread of detection, shall he not soon feel the stings of a conscience that knows no rest ? Stamped in characters of fire, the warning comes! Deception, treachery, machinations, schemer, beware ! The eyes of society are upon you !" (Signed) " JuNius AND MANY OTHER CITIZENS. " N. B.-It is useless for you to attempt to dis- cover the boy who brings this. He has been properly rewarded and has willingly returned to a secure obscurity-we may say-in another na- tion." This was the most extraordinary and unintelli- gible piece of correspondence that Mr. Wink- field had ever received. And the inquiries which he made respecting its delivery, of Mr. and Mrs. Hetherington, only made it the more so. CHAPTER XXVI, MOSES AND MR. TOPLADY ATTEND A PICNIC AND FESTIVAL'Or THE ASBURY SUNDAY-SCHlOOL. IT was a fine May morning, and Moses was seated with his uncle, in the latter's office. " It is a splendid day, Moses; I wish I were in the country, this morning. I feel a longing to be in the country," reiterated Mr. Toplady. "So do I, uncle," replied Moses, snuffing the - green fields and May flowers in imagination. , Here a very ragged urchin entered the room. "Have your boots shined, sir ?" " No." "Would you like to buy couple-er tickets to a Sunday-school festivial?" continued the boy de- murely. " To a what?" "Sunday-school picnic, sir."' - "Eh? Where did you get them, boy?" asked Mr. Toplady, "from the teachers ?" "Yes, sir." "Eh, you are sure you haven't stolen them from some place, or some little boy in the street 2"9 asked Mr. Toplady again, auspicious of the youth's shabby appearance. " Oh ! no, sir," replied the latter, and there.- eupon he commenced the well-known juvenile re- frain of "-Oh! the Sunday-school, the Sunday- school.!" to prove the legitimacy of his connec- tion with the matter. "Never mind, that will do, that will do," hasti- ly said Mr. Toplady, wincing. "Quite a coinci- dence, Moses. It is a picnic and festival of the Asbury Sunday-school, Rev. Mr. Knox's Metho- dist Episcopal, and is for this very day, ten o clock," continued he, reading one of the tick- ets. "It is not aristocratic, but respectable, Moses; -if you were to go, you would have -an opportunity Qf seeing a new set of honest peo- ple from the other side of town." Ah ! I should like that," replied Moses. It seems, it is to be held in a grove, on the west bank of the Hudson," proceeded Mr. Top- lady, examining the tickets again. "Rather in- definite. However, it will be a pleasant little ex- cursion. What say you, Moses, do you wish to go? The sail upon the river will be just the thing for us, and we can simply look on, you know, not actively participate." "Well, we will, then," said Moses. "Here,. boy, we'll take them." The boy received the money and disappeared. As they had no time to lose, they started at once for the steamboat. Upon reaching the latter, they observed upon its decks many male adults, rather rough in exterior, and, without doubt, the fathers and brothers of the scholars. " Where are the children and ladies ?" in- quired Moses of his uncle. "The boat is small, and somewhat crowded. I suppose they have assembled in the ladies' cabin. The Sunday-school is not yet on board, sir ?" asked Mr. Toplady of a gentleman, smok- ing a segar near him.* " No," replied the latter, taking a curious sur- vey of. Moses and his uncle. "They are not going in this boat. They are -on the ground, and went early this mornin', to have no fail !" "But this is the boat for the picnic and festi- val of the Asbury Church ?" asked Mr. Top- lady. "Eh? Hullo, I say, Sam," exclaimed the stranger, pulling around a friend near by, "these here gents wants to know if this here boat is for picnic and festival. ,What do you think of it?" "Let 'em find out !' replied the other gruffly, afeer a short survey of our friends. "If they come here to make a muss, let 'em find out. I know a peeler, Jim, when he's got store-clothes on and when he han't." " But, my friends," continued Mr. Toplady, "we ask merely for information." "I bought my ticket for the Asbury Sunday- school picnic and festival, and this here was de- signated the boat to me, by the parties," replied the other. "I don't know nothin' more about it, I don't say no more; you'd better go ashore if you don't think this here is the boat for a picnic and festival." " You won't make nothing' by staying, " con- tinued the first stranger superciliously. But we have tickets, and thought we would like to see the picnic," courteously continued Toplady, in propitiation. " You an't peelers in mufety ?" asked the sec- ond stranger. " What ?" asked Mr. Toplady. "I say, you an't peelers in mufety ?" reiterat- ed the stranger, raising his voice.,, " Excuse me, my friend," continued Mr. Top- lady, "but you observed-" " Look here, plugs, you can't raise no muss on to me, leastwise until this here boat is off. You can't raise no muss on to me, nor Bill, nor no one else here," repeated tle stranger strongly, and moving off with te other. "I think we had better go ashore, uncle ; I think we had better give it up," said Moses. "Don't you ?" " Yes, perhaps we had. GraciousI there is the boat moving. We can't, Moses." "What did he mean by peelers ?" now asked Moses dubiously. "I don't know. I am very sorry there are disagreeable characters on board ;, I didn't ex- pect them. However, there are surly people everywhere," replied Mr. Toplady. " If we had been earlier, perhaps, we might have gone with the Sunday-school." "That is what I supposed would be the ar- rangement Moses, of course." The boal was now in the stream. It was much crowded, and Moses and his uncle concluded to move into a quiet corner near the wheel, from the deck upon which they were. "They will get in order directly, and then the ladies will come up from the cabin below, and there will be, no doubt, a dance or two in the saloon." "Yes, and we are in a capital place to look at the scenery in the mean time. On the whole, it is fortunate we did not stay back," said Moses. Most of the people appeared to have assem- bled forward. "dWhat a delightful day I" exclaimed Mr. Top- lady, invigorated by the breeze , nnd forgetting the late disagreeable conversation. "These little excursions are very beneficial affairs to the city. They give the yeomanry and working classes an opportunity to restore their health and to relieve their spirits from the jaded monotony of daily labor. They are truly benevolent occasions, and it is not unbecoming in a gentleman now and then to patronize them." The boat rapidly passed from the region of the ferry-boats, and soon left the city in the rear, while the green heights of Weehawken and the Palisades began to bound the landscape on one side, and those of Fort Washington on the other. At this point, a united and vigorous cheer from the front part of the boat greeted our friends' cars. Sonic youthful -gentlemen within their sight on the after-deck, uttered a sympathetic cry thereat, and one ejaculated: "It is a go this time. No stopping this time, by -!" Hereupon another cheer arose again from be- low, which immediately elicited another yell front the parties nearer by, and two or three of the latter appeared to have been suddenly afflicted with a severe attack of terpsichorean frenzy. While Moses and his uncle from their recess were confusedly observing this performance, an indescribable noise and disorder arose, which seemed to be in all parts of the b6at. Invitations to drink, boisterous laughter, and extremely for- cible language, as if on the part of fifty people at once, assailed the hearing of our friends. "Gracious ! There certainly can be no0 ladies upon this boat ; for the honor of humanity and decency, I hope not 1" exclaimed Moses indig- nantly. " What do they mean ? Is this a page: 58-59[View Page 58-59] 58 MR. WINKFIELD. specimen of the relaxation of the New-York pop- grossly insulted by Mr. Toplady, and e very elation properly had sought out the latter, accompanied 1oIt must be confessed it is, Moses. Tiey by a small crowd of admiring friends, to prompt- certainly haven't much manners to boast of. ly wipe out the stain upon his character as a But weyare mistaken. There are no ladies on gentleman and high-toned citizen. the boat, and that is, perhaps the cause of this Mr. Toplady and Moses rose, and accompanied impropriety." the crowd to the after-deck. . But in the cause of religion, going to a Sun- "My dear sir, and .gentlemen," said Mr. Top- day-school celebration !, lady agitatedly. "I disclaim having had any in- It is certainly coarse and unreflecting." tention but that of merely seeking information." Their conversation was momentarily arrested by "You are a d-d peeler. lie's a peeler in theappearance of a knot of persons on the after- disguise, boys V" replied the fellow-citizen. I deck, who were wrangling evidently upon some "I am not!" said Mr. Toplady strongly. point, and evidently backing up their respective " What do you mean by peeler? I am not, my opinions by offering and accepting wagers there- dear sir.". on. While our friends instinctively lent their "You are out of the Metropolitan limits, and I attention to this, a gong was sounded and. there will lick you!" continued the other determinedly. was a momentary lull Then the following high- "What does he take us for, gentlemen ?" ly interesting announcement was made on both asked Mr. Toplady in bewilderment. "What is decks, with accompaniments on that severe in- it he wishes ?" strument. "Air you a pollis detective or air you not ." "Gents, the ring-pools is, now offered in the said one of the crowd with a suspicious look. cabin on the front lower deck; a cock-fight will " Good heavens, no ! who said I was?" take place 'meditly after the sale. Call up to the "I can lick you. I can lick you anyhow. Cap'n's office and take your chances, gents, afore He suitedd me, boys, and I'll take his life'I" And we gets on the ground!', this ferocious threat was adorned by an allusion "1Good God, Moses, they appear to be talking to Mr. Toplady as the offspring of canine parents. about a prize-fight, which is going to take place "Look here, whoever you are !' here interrupt- somewhere !" ejaculated Mr. Toplady in conster- ed Moses courageously. "You wish to have an nation, returning to Moses again from a knot encounter with some one, I rce, You intend to toward which he had edge . have it with this ge-ntleman here. But you shall "What!" not, by heavens, not until you have had one with We have been deceived, Moses. The pie- me, you scoundrelV" nic is a sham. Heavens! but we are in for it, "Hooray ! That's fair !" exclaimed the crowd and we must dissemble. Yes, we are on the.way in high admiration. to a prize-fight, "What do you mean by thin gross attach, you Luckily they were in a retired place, and in it infernal rowdy! and you, sir," continued Moses to they cowered for the next half-hour ; and we say, the friend of the party, who, during the whole cowered, for the scene which continued during scene bad been gradually encroaching upon that time was- enough to make any person of him with inauspicious intentions. "You can't taste and sensibility feel unwell, and wish he had intimidate me, sir! You can't intimidate me .. not come, to say the least. It is unnecessary to The crowd respected Moses's pluck enough to particularize it. It was enough for our heroes, have interfered, and prevented any unfair impul- that it was, most of the time, a scene of blood- sive action upon the part of the opposite cham- shed, though principally from the nose. As they pions. But these parties themselves, as usual in neither of them took much interest in fowls,-ex- such cases, wished to prolong their pleasure by cept when they were cooked, it was quite natural having some more preliminary wrangling., o a for them to refrain from visiting the contest, long imitative scene of polite sneering was which liberal-minded gentlemen, enthusiastic visited upon our exercised friends by them. upon the improvement of the feathered race, had This affectation of genteel sarcasm was sustained instituted upon the front deck. They likewise as long as they refrained from replying, but when thought there was plenty of time, after they they endeavored to deprecate the excitement reached the ground to take what chances they of the others, the vituperation on fundamental wished in " ring-pools." principles was renewed. At last a couple of rings When the cock-fight was terminated, and it were formed. Mr. Toplady's forced engagement was most conclusively, by the cowardly dying of had already commened, and lie had miraculously one of the feathered combatants, after a sneaking warded off one or two blows, and mentally ejacu- defense of his interests for a half-hour, his lated as many prayers for deliverance from the owner was kindly knocked overboard, that he contest, when a young man who had recently might be enabled to cool his excitement. The arrived from the forward-deck, rushed in between boat stopped and went back; still Moses and his him and his adversary, and by this timely act ar- uncle were doubtful whether the rescue was ac- rested also the progress of an interesting little complished, and the pleasant idea that they piece of business in which Moses was bout being might, perhaps, now very properly regard them- engaged. He was a bright-eyed, cheerful, and selves as accomplices to a murder, lent new in- active young man; 4ind what Was especially teiest to their situation. While revolving in gratifying to Moses and his uncle, seemed totbe their consciences this eminent thought, Mr. Top- a gentleman, or, at least, acquainted with the lady was suddenly accosted and defied to mortal attributes of one. At the same time he appeared combat, by the party from whom he had asked to be' very well-known, and quite popular among information at the dock. Though having be- the surrounding spotig gentry. By his effors come highly inflamed with wine, this gentleman the difficulty was amicably arranged. ie in- still knew enough to recollect that he bad been formed the men that Moses and his uncle were MR. WINKFIELD.- .9 not improper personages, neither peelers nor in formers, but both literary gentlemen, connoisseurs in the turf and ring, and amateur reporters, one for the liberal religious press, and the other present on behalf of the ladies' organ of the Bloomer movement. He induced them to accept the disclaimers of our friends at any offense inten- tionally offered, and by the masterly stroke of in- viting the entire crowd to refresh itself at the bar, actually placed our friends upon an enviable foot- ig for future influence and popularity in the New-York sporting world. . In company with Mr. Barnard, their jovial rescuer, they now felt at ease enough to rove about the boat and mingle in the festivities. From the fact that lie had made a successful and honorable stand in his late encounter, not only having warded off his antagonist's blows, but actually struck out twice himself, and seized with the propensity for imitation, Mr. Toplady fre- quently doubled up his fists, and perhaps would have joined inthe little pugilistic entertainments offered intermittently thereafter, if he had not been restrained by Mr. Barnard's advice, and Moses's request. He therefore confined himself to the little'ingenuities of feigning to express his admiration, or high sense of the ludicrous, at some horrible story of physical mutilation and mangling, related with great gusto by adjacent parties, or of loudly expressing his impatience at the delay of the boat in reaching her destination, The temporary demoralization of our hero had not reached this lively stage, owing to a slight indisposition he was suffering from the effects of a segar, which he had deemed it judicious t-o smoke under the circumstances. le still made quite a successful attempt at self-degradation, by talking horse and dog with the numerous sport- ing men, aldermen, and ex-prize-fighters, to whom lie was subsequently introduced, and by sagaciously making use of what knowledge he had picked up on the boat, in discussing with them the noble art, and the approaching contest. Guided by his genius he authoritatively sustained or denied, as the occasion demanded, the little scientific points therein, of which he had not the, slightest idea; and when two of the parties dif- fered, he at once concluded to side with the largest and most muscular, another instance of' his innate genius, and the judicious employment. under trying circumstances, of his knowledge of human nature. Mr. Barnard received with a highly pleased air these demonstrations of his new-made friends, whose predilections he increased by his lively manners, hei witty appreciation of the Inferior animals present, and by succeeding acts of friendship, wherein lie introduced himself as a member of a well-known and respectable family of the city, and gave them much beneficialjinfor- mation upon surrounding and other' social affairs. The boat was steered for a rickety wharf in a secluded bay of the river. The crowd disem- barked, including Moies and Mr. Toplady, who acceded to Mr. Barnard's solicitations, and to his suggestion that it would be judicious for them to sustain their assumed character as reporters. The contest at once took place between Bandy the Kid, and the Rev. M. Thomas Slotmons, so called, the one from his frisky agility, and the other from his long countenance, and general1 clerical appearance. For the particulars thereof, we will refer our readers to that celebrated au- thority in such matters, the New-York Clipper, merely mentioning a few of the striking points '*ourselves. At twelve M., the men shied their nob cover- ers into the ring, and shook their bunches of - fives at the scratch. The betting was five to - four on Slommons, as the Kid showed too beefy, being fourteen stone, three pounds, and four . ounces, or about two ounces over his usual fight- log weight. 1st Round. Slommons made the opening shot on the chopper, followed by a straight deliv- ery on the left peeper, the Kid being short in his returns, though he planted a rib-bender and got away. This brought on some rattling ex- changes to a close, when they fibbed away at the ribs, and in the wrestle for the fall Slommons was undermost. 2d Round. Both shots went over the shoulder and stopped upon the stmellers of the two seconds, who had approached too near from professional anxiety, which elicited cries of "foul" from both. 5th Round. In this round some very rapid passages ensued, the dial being the target, when both pugs got to in-fighting, and Slommons threw his man heavily. 6th Round. First ruby for the Kid; the clergyman having left his gate open, the kid'came in and politely knocked on his parlor door to inquire for his health. 10th Round. Both lively, fighting fast at the ribs, shiftily. The Kid invested slightly on the bread-basket; Slotmmons countering on the left, and placing the Kid's tob in chateery leisurely delivered several hundred taps tiereo, raising a bump. Both lively, however, and rallying to the ropes get down side by side con- versing on political matters, and Mrs. Lanigan's fashionable blow-out. The succeeding rounds up to the fortieth well-contested, though both dod- ders were frequently short in their deliveries and compelled to spar for bellows-ease, 40. The Kid's nose spattered over his face? by a most beautiful, scientific, and powerful straight from the clergyman's right. This daring use of the right showed his genius, and aroused a thumping clap from all the sharps present. 56. Bandy closed his left eye permanently. Some good half-arm blows at the ropes by Slom- mons, but Kid finally sent in one of his catty- pults, which resulted iti a double somersault by the clergyman over the ropes. Cries of " foul" at its stoppage by his buffer, who caught hinm by left walker, but declared all moral by referees, as being out of ring. 63. Both down and forgetful-like. 64. Both men pounded on the head with um- pire's slung-shot, and a glass of turpentine ad- ministered to each, to bring them to time. 64-70. All in favor of Slommons, the Kid not having been well since sixty-third round. (NOTE. There is one thing which we here take occasion to protest against, both as gentlemen and lovers of the manly art. We trust that every true, every honest upholder of that noble science will sustain us in 'discountenancing a practice which we consider is fast beconmitn a foul stain and injury to the ring, and through that, to the best interests of humatiity We simply regard it as a disgraceful outrage to de- page: 60-61[View Page 60-61] MR. WINKFIELD. MR. WINKFIELD. cency, and any man who has any self-respect will not be guilty of conduct which we deem de- spicable, whether intentional or unintentional.' We allude to the innovation of outsiders talking with the seconds of the men and offering them pea-nuts ! The conversation blunts their sense of responsibility, and the pea-nuts distract their attention from their duties. The whole thing strikes at the very vitality of the art, and should hereafter be discouraged by every one.) 70th round. Kid feinted with his left, got down on knee, caught clergyman by rising blow under left ear, and seizing him by belt, sat down on ground and went through a remarkable pro- cess with him. It was asserted by many of those who could see through whirl of strikers and walkers, to have been that of turning him inside out and scraping him. Referees distracted and umpire agitated, but as clergyman turned up in natural condition, decision of " foul" by umpire avoided. 71. Increase of mysterious, energy of Kid. Again caught Slommons by walkers, and thrash- ed him for several moments on the ground. Not foul, as blows received on nob and above the belt. No particular effect on clergyman, not be- ing meaty, except slight ringing in his sound- boxes, sand-swallowing, and dirty face. Rose and smiled. 71-108. All in favor of clergyman, who ap- peared to have been refreshed by rounds seven- ty and seventy-one. The Kid wonderfully cranky and powerful, but wild and continued grog-fight- ing of the air. 109th and last round. In this round the Kid violated the rules by attempting to strike below belt. He then followed it up decisively, by ad- ministering a severe kick upon one of the aston- ished clergyman's shins, another in his abdomen, a third upon the other shin, and incidentally made a reckless attempt to take advantage of his improper proceedings, by biting off one of his antagonist's ears. At the shout of "foul !" which marked this illegitimate and unexpected conduct as the final triumph of Slommons, the disgusted bottle-holder of the Kid was meditating the disagreeable neces- sity of throwing up the sponge, when he was vio- lently thrown up himself by his principal. . The latter had been fairly pounded into insanity. He dashed right and bgft through the crowd and start- ed in the obliquity of derangement for the.river, but was secured ere he reached it. The two re- porters thought it professionally unnecessary to return again from the steamboat to which they had fled, but the crowd reissenbled on the spot, and the fight was given to the Rev. Mr. Slommons. The gentlemen who had risked their money upon the skill and endurance of the unfortunate Kid, immediately commenced to relieve their feelings of loss by indiscriminately assaulting the backers of the victor. To our friends' utter amazement and fear, the whole Sunday-school fought all the way back to the boat, and continued the conflict upon its decks after it left the spot. 'Such was the disorder, that Moses, Mr. Toplady, and Mr. Barnard very rationally secreted themselves in a coal-hole, afd the captain of the boat, overcome with fears for the safety of himself and his yes sed, run it ashore upon the other side of the( river. Here the scholars finally scattered in al directions, the losers to indemnify themselves by the gentle process of robbing sequestered houses and wayfarers, afid the winners generally assist- ing them, in preference to being longer belabored over the head, and at the same time indulging their enthusiasm at the result of the day, in the playful collateral proceedings of breaking open wine-cellars and bars, smashing furniture and windows, and insulting protestants thereto ere they proceeded to lie down for the night, or to seek the different stations on the route to betake themselves to town. Alarmed at the abrupt landing of the steamer, Moses and Mr. Toplady had emerged with and become separated from their friend, Mr. Bar- nard. The latter hastened forward to generous- 'ly assist the captain in his difficulties, but the former were forcibly shoved ashore in the midst of a crowd of infuriated combatants, of whose blows they seemed to have become the common centre. Their deliverance from this mailstrom of passion could only have been miraculous, and even thus was accomplished at the expense of many terrible contusions of the person and lace- rations of habiliments. They bewilderedly sought the railway track, and ran for over three miles in the twilight to the nearest settlement, their speed being materially increased by the fearful knowledge that they were chased by five of their fellow-excursionists, maddened with drink and disappointment, and armed with a select ar- mory of deadly weapons. On reaching the Evercroft House by the evening train, Mr. Toplady gave a feeble smile at the important events in which he had been engaged, and fell insensible. His nervous temperament and sense of respectability could hold out -no longer against the terrible shattering they had received, and his nephew was not relieved from apprehension for the safety of both his mental and physical constitution for two or three day' thereafter. CHAPTER XXVII. LUCID TIEWS OF MR. BARNARD UPON MARRIAGE. WE may say that Mr. Toplady, for the first time in his life, at least since-well, since his boyhood, yielded to the witchery of a young and charming woman. In his visit to Mr. Wagbuill's with Moses, upon which occasion he met with the dignified Miss De Pompenkops, he became as it were unconsciously, and in spite of himself, interested in her. That the charm worked grad- ually and subtly upon him there is no doubt, for it was not until he found himself unconsciously studying the polish of manners, and all the minor arts of society, that he reflected there was cer- tainly some particular object for his enthusiasm, some passionate ardor, of which such conduct was the result. Was he, Toplady, in love at first sight ? And was that love tlie fervor and intoxica- tion which shows 'how little reality it possesses by the ease with which it is forgotten, a mere effervescence ? He would see whether it was, and he determined to call immediately upon the proud -descendant of the old Dutch vegetable family, and ask of his own conduct there a solution of 1 the question. He did so, but she was out, and he left his card. Still he found his feelings 61 60 out, too, before he got home.- 0 thou first know lots of fellows who get along well enough love of the awakening heart! That is, first without one." for a long time. 0 thou love ! descended of hea- "Ahi! yes. Your friends are without doubt of ven and light. Love, that can render the strong- your age. One may certainly be well enough est weak, and make the proudest man yield like supported in the cares of life at that age without a reed to the faintest breath! She must be his.- the help of a partner," replied Mr. Toplady. he could not live without her-his wife! The "Well, I don't know about their supporting first time the thought of really having one, per- themselves alone," replied Mr. Barnard. "Some haps, had ever swept across his mind. He start. of 'em find it pretty hard work to manage that, ed, and passed his hand across his forehead. and it is the only reason they entertain the idea That one word awakened him to partial common. of matrimony at all, I imagine." sense. He knew that the rich heiress, the high- "Perhaps I may grant the infelicity of too ,born maiden, the beautiful woman, was intended early marriages," continued Mr. Toplady, as if in by her famiy for the Prince of Wales, but he.- earnest soliloquy. " It must be surely an unhappy he made dn estimate of his possessions, surveyed thing to be married, and discover too late what his features in the glass, and descended to dine nothing but the voluntary blindness of youthful and gain further information, in company with passion before concealed. Dreadful!" his nephew, Mr. Titman, and Mr. Barnard, their "That your wife's mamma is too much for guest. He was enthusiastic, yet withal serious. you! Yes, it is a floorer," replied Mr. Barnard. The topic of marriage had become an exceeding- " Well, I do not refer so much to that. Still, ly solemn one to him, while it was a highly most philosophers have agreed, very wisely I amusing one to the other gentlemen, in particu- think, that the longer time of maturer marriages lar to the jovial Mr. Barnard, to whom the vari- will increase experience, and wider views will ous forms of connubial infelicity had been thor- allow better opportunities of inquiry and selec- oughly presented in the many examples thereof tion."' in the extensive circle of his friends and ac- "One would think, Toplady," said Mr. Titman quaintances. - -with a kind of jocose air, " that 'you were really To these he at once referred, when the conver. entertaining a design of trying matrimony your- sation turned upon the interesting subject to self." which Mr. Toplady.cleverly led it, and the con- "And is there any reason why I should not, delusion of his induction therefrom was a respect- sir ?" asked Mr. Toplady warmly. ful concession that "the institution of marriage "Oh! no. None whatever, sir; none, I assure was perhaps good for society as a general thing, you," replied Mr. Titman. but that it was rather hard on the individual." " Well, sir, what then would be your objections " But, sir," replied Mr. Toplady, "the good of to such a proceeding -upon my part ?" continued the whole is the same with the good of all its Mr. Toplady sternly. parts. If society be benefited, so is the indi- "Oh! I should not feel myself authorized to vidual." object. By no means," responded Mr. Titan. " That is what my Aunt Julia says, when Uncle "And is there any one who would be, siri? Is Ed complains at the breakfast-table of her run. there any one ?" continued Mr. Toplady, glaring ning away from him to a soiree the night before,' upon Mr. Titman, replied Mr. Barnard. 'If I devote myself to "Oh! no. I think you misunderstand me, society, Mr. Wilson,',says she, ' I am devoting my- Mr. Toplady," replied Mr.. Titman, who began to self to you. What is gocd for the whole is good feel that it was a rather serious turn he had for the part.' So he in revenge comes'home tight given to the conversation, after all. from the club next evening, and excuses himself "Very likely, very likely, sir. It is very sin- as a member of society by saying, 'What is good gular I should have had occasion to, sir," again for the part, is good for the whole'" said Mr. Toplady with lingering irritation. " But you will grant that men and women were Here the conversation was resumed by Mr. made to live together ?" continued Mr. Toplady. Barnird, who had been trifling with his glass of "Yes," replied Mri. Barnard. "But that is wine during this short episode. And he con- the very thing Uncle Ed thinks is a very unfor, tinted to cite his eccentric avuncular relative as tunate arrangemei%. You ought to know him. authority for his position, and by the many forci- He is a high old sockdolager." ble sayings of that henpecked philosopher, made "I should he very happy," replied Mr Top. Mr. Toplady actually tremble with agitation and lady rather forcedly. "Our acquaintance with misgivmig at a theory, which he himself had so each other would be mutually instructiveperhaps." recently adopted, and caused him to decline par. " Yes, Uncle Ed conceives it to be the duty ticipating in Mr. Titman's proposition to visit of every man to look out for his wife after lie has that classic resort, the hall of negro minstrelsy, one, but he says he wished he had looked out for in order that he might more earnestly spend the Aunt Julia before he was married." evening in strengthening his hopes and judgment " His sentiment is correct. What is more de. by an undisturbed deliberation in the quiet pre- lightful than to live, feeling sympathy for another, cincts of his chamber. and constantly contributing to another's felicity? What more miserable than to exist without ex- citing another's sympathy, to be afflicted with- out tasting the balm of pity? Such state, the CHAPTER XXVIII. philosopher has said, is not independence of the world, bumt exclusion from its chief happiness," MOSES THINKS THlE OUNT DRUNE, AND THE COUNT continued Mr. Toplady eloquently. TnINKs MOSES CRAZY. "'But I have not seen the practical necessity By their reliance upon each other amid their of having a wife," continued Mr. Barnard. "I fears, Mr. and Mrs. Hetherigton became some- page: 62-63[View Page 62-63] 62 MR. WINKFIELD. what assured for the time being against that ter- I first learned to amuse myself in thiS way at col- rible hypocrisy, which in the borrowed guise of lege," continued Moses. "Being lonely, you honest friendship, studied to lure them to its know, I used tol devote my leisure to it, and have toils. Moses received his friends in his apart- practiced more or less ever smce. Since I have ments in the evening, and frequently upon the been here I have felt the need of an instrument ears of his intended victims, the heartless laugh to respond to this desire." of the would-be miscreant might be heard, joining " Sir-r-r !" with that of his associate revelers, perhaps at the " You have noticed probably, I have attempt. ribald disclosure of his sinister intentions, at a ed to elicit a few soft responses from yours, when moment when inflamed with the bowl. Yet by in your parlor." dissembling and watching, they rested in tempo- "(This is dreadful!) Sir-r-r !" rary security. They accepted his invitations to "I thought frequently of trying my han there. the theatre, and his cards to the painting acade- However, on some future evening, I will show mies ; and by a master-stroke of vengeance, Mr. you my powers, if you say so ?" Hetherington used frequently to dine with him. "Do you make this distinct proposition to On these and other occasions, lie delicately man- me ?" asked Mr. Hetherington, grating his teeth. aged to materially increase Moses's knowledge of "I do." his personal relations, with information of the "Then, by Christopher, you shan't. That's powerful influence and dignity of his aunt and all I've got to say," exclaimed the unfortunate other relatives, of his own intimacy with the count. authorities, and of his ungovernable ferocity "I beg pardon. I thought it might amuse in cases of the arousal of his passions. In his Mrs. letherington," replied Moses delicately, at promenades with our hero, he now preferred se- this unexpectedly strong refusal. eluded walks by the river-side, or sequestered "Ha ! ha ! You probably think she would his rambles by the lake in the Park, invited thereto, ten to it! I am going to see her and my aunt as no doubt, by the horrible but equitable desire of soon as I can go," continued the count, increasing pushing him into the water; and faltering in these in ire. "I'll see about itI I'll see about it, dreadful intentions, lie was nevertheless fain to sir !" relieve his feelings, by shaking his fist over the "Oh! never mind. I didn't know you were unconscious Moses's head, or uttering half-sup- so much attached to the little object, but it is pressed references to the rascality and idiocy natural that these little ministers to our happi- combined, of some party or acquaintance of'his, ness, beguiling our weary hours, should be ten- whose name he appeared then indisposed to dis- derly cherished. By the way, why don't you close. practice keeping yours in a case?" suggested The frequent discovery in the morning, of fire- Moses affably. shovels and tongs mysteriously placed against his "In a case ?" repeated the bewildered count. door, during the preceding evening to act as a "Yes, but a bag will do as well. Such a fine kind of impromptu alarm upon its opening, was a one as yours ought certainly to be kept from any subject of some curiosity to the latter. Upon exposure !" one occasion hearing a scraping noise in the hall " D- nation! You are crazy! Go to the outside his room, as lie was retiring, lie discovered d-l!" roared the count, utterly reckless of his the Irish girl had succeeded in moving a bureau language. "Go to the d-l!" from the hall-bedroom and placed it directly in The astonished Moses looked at his companion front of his door. Upon asking her by whose and after a moment's meditation came to the sat. orders, she replied, "Mister and Missuses!" Where- isfactory conclusion that he was druik. "Strange," upon Moses, thinking it was probably connected thought he, "he shouldn't have shown it before! with'some early cleaning operations, of the coin- The exercise has caused the fumes to get into his ing morning, generously dismissed his proposed brains!" expostulation with regard to the emergency of fire, The-count walked sulkily along and said not a and retired for the night in this blockaded con- word more, and Moses, humanely seemig him to edition. the corner of Bank street, also in silence, left Mrs. Hetherington was presently taken by her him, and proceeded to the Evercroft House to lord to visit her aunt in Connecticut, and the in- sup with his friends. fatuated husband himself immediately returned to Bank street to watch, le took a walk with the unsuspecting 'villain. It was a soft May night, and as they proceeded around the Parade- CHAPTER XXIX. ground they heard a sentimental divinity student MOSES AND M.]BARNARD PAY AN AFTERNOON YI5IT irthe University, wooing Melpomene with his MOE A MR. ANPYN AFTERNBAR flute. The plaintive melody immediately made TO THE WAGBU MANSDOEN, IN HSBMR. BAR- Mr. Hetherington homesick, and he was fain to express a desire to see his wife. Moses also con- THE next day, while crossing Madison Square, fessed himself touched by the soft music. Moses was descried from the portico of the Fifth "I, too, experience the same feelings V" said Avenue Hotel, and presently joined by the lively he. Mr. Barnard, who thereupon commenced to en- "Confound the impudent fellow!" thought the tertain him with a very odd account of an Irish newly-exasperated count. "To my very face, he wake, which he had attended the night before, says ie wants to see her too !" and during which the probability of there being " I feel like wooing the dear goddess myself," two or three more in the course of the week, continued Moses poetically, within the sanie circle of Irish society, was " What I" said the astonished count, rendered quite certain by one of the most "I have had some practice in Massachusetts. tremendous fights he had ever witnessed. MR. WINKFIELD.-63 " Suppose-we drop in a moment at Mr. Wag bull's," suggested Moses, as they neared that gentleman's residence. "Miss Wagbull, with out doubt, is at home." "I haven't been there but once since New. Year's," replied Mr, Barnard. "She undertakes to lecture me, every time I go there, and I must say I-am behind in the course. Suppose we go in and take another." They entered and learned that Miss Wagbull would presently descend, the grandmother, in the mean time, promptly furnishing them with her society, and suggesting that they might con- sequently deem that of her grand-daughter super. fluous. Moses deferentially intimated to the old lady, that perhaps her own time was too valuable to be expended for their pleasure. "He means if'lie had fifty years more of expe- rience and knowledge, he might be able to enter- tain you in return, madam," said Mr. Barnard respectfully. "Who are you, young man?" asked the old lady, turning to him. "What do you want here -" "Oh ! nothing, ma'am !" replied Mr. Barnard somewhat abashed.I "Your society is not objectionable," continued the old lady, "as long as you respect the laws of decorum. If you behave yourself, you are wel- come to this house, sir !" " Thank you, madam, for your hospitality," said Mr. Barnard, courteously coughing to hide his disposition to feel lively at the old lady's ex- pense. "What is the matter? Got a cold ?" asked the old lady immediately. "Take catnip and pennyroyal in equal parts. It's in the head, I see, young man. That's where most young people of the present day are weak." " Ha! ha! Very good. Very good, madam !" cried Mr. Barnard, approving of the old lady's remark as an eminent piece of wit. . What do you mean by this senseless gig- gling ?" asked the old lady, vigorously resenting this disrespectful familiarity. "Oh! nothing, madam; excuse me," replied Mr. Barnard, again feeling much abashed. If it gets on the chest, young man," continued the old lady, reverting to the cough, "take some elder-flowers, one ounce of oak of Jeru- salem and the north side of a maple-tree, and boil 'em till they simmer." " But, my dear madam, I assure you I am not at all troubled !" cried Mr. Barnard, at once en- deavoring to relieve the old lady.. I "Drink the tea, and put the remainder as a poultice on your chest," continued the old lady instructively. "But how do you get at the north side of the maple-tree, so as to be able to boil it with the other ingredients ?" asked Barnard, becoming curiou.. Where are your wits? Can't you scrape the moss from a tree ?" continued the old lady pet- tishly. Oh !" said Barnard, much relieved. "It grows on the north side to protect the tree from the cold winds," continued the old lady, with the quiet grandeur of one imparting im- portant information. . The entrance of Miss Wagbull gave Mr. Bar- nard an opportunity of reflecting upon this valu- I able knowledge, as the old lady devoted her t whole attention, for a few moments thereafter, - to casting severe frowns at Moses, and endea- voring by violent interruptions to impede the progress of his conversation with her grand- daughter. Finally she was diverted by quite a series of coughs upon the part of Mr. Barnard, undoubtedly feigned from friendly motives to Moses by that ingenious individual. " "Young man! that is not a cold you have. It is not a cold at all ! It is not natural enough for a regular cough," said she quickly. "You need a vermifuge, young man! You undoubtedly need a vermifuge." " But I'm grown !" suggested the astonished Mr. Barnard, rubbing his nose incredulously. "I can't help that. Grown people have 'em, and I know it. There you are rubbing your nose! It is one of the very signs of 'em I" con- tinued she triumphantly. " Your knowledge is much superior to mine in this matter, madam," replied Mr. Barnard sub- missively. ("By Jove, she may be right ! It may account for my seeing snakes now and then !") Here the aged being, to sustain her position of adults being visited l y infantile diseases, went into a long account of one, who had been care- fully kept in his infancy and childhood by his parents from any liability to contract the dis- eases contingent thereto, and in consequence, o the day after he was twenty-one, was attacked with measles, scarlet-fever, thrush and whooping- cough, all at once. To this, Mr. Barnard con- tinued to pay great attention, and as the old lady insisted upon giving him the entire treatment of the difficult case, was much impressed with her knowledge of such matters. Moses thus secured an opportunity of enjoying Bessie's society without fear of interruption. The young lady had delayed In appearing somewhat longer than usual, owing to the fact, perhaps, that she was becoming more unsatisfied with her toilet than formerly, and was disposed to have every minute particular passed upon in the critical judgment of her maid, before descend- ing. " I have been studying so hard," said she to Moses, with a smile. "All the morning!, You would not think it of me, would you ?" "Why not? What have you been studying, Miss Bessie ?" asked Moses. "I have commenced Kant's Critique and-" "Kant ! Metaphysics ! Why, what has in- duced you to try that ?" asked Moses curiously. "I don't know. Women know so little nowa- days, and they have but little right to lie respect of men who are so superiorly educated," replied Bessie, looking down. "But metaphysics, Bessie! Do you think women should know metaphysics also, to render them worthy of men's homage and friendship !" "I well know that the cultivation of our minds," continued Bessie, "is to fit us for the noble duties of that life, which our constitution marks as the sacred designation of Providence. Our knowledge is to be chiefly reproduced in the daily habits of a domestic life; but if we are in- tended to he the companions of men, how can we hope to be, to those with whom we are-unable to talk, to those who feel themselves constantly obliged to forego the utterance of their own cle- I page: 64-65[View Page 64-65] 64 wit.M . W1 actedd ideas and lower themselves to the common- place level of what, alas, is too well known to be our sex's daily thoughts " " 1Yet even so," replied Moses, "1the society of woman is.beneficial to man. It is a relaxation, a spiritual restoration from the intense thought, or exhausting labor, which falls to his lot in the discharge of his duties." " But is this hardly fair for her ?" asked Bessie. "She does not stand in need of the relaxation which severe application or overwhelming busi- ness makes requisite for him. Her employments do not exhaust her spirits. Should the strong, truths, which she longs to hear drop from his lips, be diluted with flattery, should her desire for in- formation be put off with a compliment instead of a fact or reason ?"71 "oNo; and when she indicates a relish for in- structive conversation, that of men, even the less distinguished for sense and learning, will not be apt to be confined to what is vain and unprofit- able," replied Moses. abl must confess, that we too often think to flatter the understanding of men by avoiding the exercise of our own, but it is only to recommend ourselves in the eyes of those, whom it is our duty to please !" replied B~essie earnestly. tBessie ,it is not the relaxation of frivolous trifling, nor the discussion of intellectual abstrac- tions, that man seeks in her society; it is an ele eating power, a spirituality, with which it is her province to endow him by her smiles and love and for which he may seek in vain amid the ab- stractions of philosophy, the truths of science, or the practical deductions of reason," replied Moses With chivalrous gentleness. " In her conversa tion, he would see her fancy flourish, her sensibil cities expand, her wit guided by delicacy and taste, on subject interesting to the heart and tc .the imgination." "B 1ut if the study of abstractions gives exact ness to the ideas, produces definite notions of realities, chastens the imagination,leads to think to analyze, to combine and to methodize; if confers a power to discriminate the glitterin, from the solid, the false from the true, are no such virtues required in domestic life, and is no such a study fitted to strengthen woman's wind ' to put her in the best state for directing her pu suits in those particular channels, which her dec tination requires ?" "tAr! yes," replied Moses, now in deep appri bation - " and with such an end, she runs no ria of being seemed a precieuse -idicule,.a blue-stoel ing affected with pedantry. The most profoun metaphysical disquisitions or tempestuous the logical polemics are thus without danger to h womanliness, and it is thus men of sense w: cease to be hostile to her improvement." "I thought also of attending more assiduous to the lectures of the day than I have," continue Bessie. "1And you are quite right," interrupted Mose "for I well know that you will not resort to their with the fashionable hope of appearing well-i formed, by cheaply substituting the exciteme of public amusement for the fatigue of applicati -that you will not seek the diverting graces rhetoric instead of the deductions of reasomn,t esthetic gratification instead of substantial i provement !" "Do tell me what a woman should best hi INKFIE2JTLDT. continued Bessie with an air of innocent perplex- ity. "It is so hard to steer between being a vain pedant by reading too much and a vain fool by reading nothing." "Let the poet answer for me," replied Moses, gently tempering his critical spirit with the elo- quent r6sum6 of Mr. Wordsworth. As he finished the lines, a modest languor ap- peared in her manner, a timid sensibility seemed to express itself in her look. The silent tender- ness of this enchanting expressiveness seemed but to adorn the correctness of the sentiments, which she had disclosed were innate within her. Moses looked upon her fine brow across which her hair waved in heavy billows to float around her neok, and felt that the soft ringlets, which art could not hold captive, the fineness, the velvet- like coloring of flowers, which her complexion possessed, the regularity of her features, which discovered new attractions in every expression, were a fitting adornment of the temple which contained so noble a soul. The philosophic se- renity of his mind seemed scarcely to afford relief or resource in the momentary intoxication of his heart. It has been said by gifted writers that it is in truth an awful moment, when a human being first discovers, that his passions and affections are stronger than his talents and intellectual powers-when he first begins to suspect their vast importance in the sum of his existence- when he first feels that his happiness is no longer in his own keeping, but is surrendered into the - dominion of another. r But awful as this moment was to our hero, it s is our duty to record that the one succeeding it - was still more awful to him, hero as he was. - , "I love Wordsworth," murmured Bessie, after d a pause, looking up. "Do you know, Alfred and o I studied the whole Excursion together ?" "Alfred and you! I beg pardon," exclaimed - our hero, "but may I ask who Alfred'is ?"' f Oh! Mr. Hoyt, our neighbor, whom you met , at the opera and at dinner the other evening t" it replied Bessie cheerfully. g "Hoyt! Oh ! yes, I remember iim," said our t hero, endeavoring to feign composure. it "He has such a clear conception of poetry and d, he reads so beautifully !" continued Bessie in in- r- nocent enthusaism. S- Moses felt inclined to, wish that the amiable Alfred had never been born; to hate the very o. letters of which that person's name was com- Ik posed! He presently betook himself to the k- street, accompanied by Mr. Barnard, who had Ld quite penetrated the old lady's graces, by faith- o-* fully listening tb her thrilling recital of the er troubles and narrow escapes of the infant of ill twenty-one. We may say that the five different crises which the latter had passed through, of as ly many diseases, within as many hours and under ed as many doctors, were as nothing to the uneasy commotion which our hero had just experienced s; in as many minutes, in- nt on CHAPTER XXX. he GRAND CLIMAX OF MRH. WINKFmELD's nELATmONs he wiTH THE HETnERItNGTONS'. In returning from dinner at the Evereroft to e," his lodgings, on an evening shortly subsequent to MR. WINKFIELD. 05 his walk with Mr. Hetherington, Moses was ac- "Don't step a foot inside, Mollie, and you, be companied by Mr. Titman. In the more relaxed ready Bridget. You see he has bullies here !'" moment of the repast, the latter gentleman had said the excited bount, flying frantically into the confided with an appearance of triviality rather ball and back again. than of gravity, a minute account of his ruptur- "Don't be foolish, sir," said Moses sternly; " I ing, in the most shabby manner according to his am not disposed to permit you to act in this fool- own confession, an extremely interesting tie with ish way in the presence of my friend. Come in, a deaf young lady in Dibbletown and forming an- I pray you." other with the two tall young ladies thereof, The count moved a little further into the room merely from a change of fancy on his part from and produced a dumb-bell. At the same time, as the blonde to the brunette order of beauty. if by concert, Bridget brandished another before Moses would not have been very deeply impressed the eyes of the astonished Titman. with the matter, had not Mr. Titman still shown " What is the matter ?" cried the latter edging a want of remorse, even when he insinuated that off toward a window at this demonstratioR of the the young lady had pined away and lately died, brawny Bridget. "Have they all been taken in- wholly from the above cause. Moses felt it to sane? What is it? What do they want ?" be his immediate duty to earnestly lecture his " Ye kape quiet and aisy, ye little bully I" friend upon the enormity, the heartless enormity said Bridget menacingly to Mr. Titman. " D'ye of thus trifling with that tenderest of objects, a mind this ? Ye'll see prisintly, it will be after confiding woman's heart. Trifling with it, wheth. making ye, if ye don't !" With that Bridget took er to wn it rom its rightful possessor, or to win her fifth exercise with the dumb-bell within an it, but to idly throw it away, was, he might say, inch of Mr. Titman's left ear. a dishonor to manhood- and a crime! - "But my good woman," said the latter, "I "I didn't mean to leave her. I procured a merely wish to know, in behalf of my friend here, speaking trumpet and passed many happy hours what this-" conversing with her in her parlor; but you sae, Kape quiet P" interrupted Bridget ferociously. somehow my fancy changed," said Mr. Titman "But, my good woman, I-") with an apologetic appearance of nascent remorse, Ye stay there in that corner, and if ye opens aroused by these strong expressions of his friend, your gab agin, I'll knock yez head off and niake "At any rate, I never took dead aim at her with yez ate your wurruds; I wull, by the howly St. a direct proposal." Pathrick, and may he not assile yez carkiss af "Titman, in matters connected with the other therwards, ye dirty little Yankee-man !" sex, We,'the stronger beings, can not be too care- Having in this masterly manner used up and ful and delicate. A woman's nature is essentially cornered at the very commencement the reserve sensitive, and when she is loved,she is the more so. of the enemy, Bridget turned to assist her supe- Her spirit is, as it were, an Eolian harp, giving rior officer in making the principal charge. forth responsive melody to the slightest touch, " Vile seducer, and miserable voluptuary," re- and we can not be too careful in playing upon it !" commenced the latter, somewhat impeded in the They had now reached Mr. Winkfield's lodging, oratorical amplification of his words by his agita- and they walked leisurely up to his rooms. Tit. tion and the dumb-bell, "the time has now come, man threw himself back in a chair, while Moses when with feelings outraged by a long and patient proceeded to hunt for his slippers. A knock was suffering of-you-my wife and I have come to heard at the door. It was opened, and Bridget, the conclusion, that you can let your trunks re- the maid, appeared, beckoning to some one in the main until morning, and send for them; but you, rear, and signifying by mute gestures that what sir, vile voluptuary and miserable seducer as was wanted would be found within. your own weak meshes have proven you 'you The Count Hetherington here appeared in a must proceed hegce to-night. It is useless for rather unsteady manner and standing near the you to resist. This arm is strong, and Bridget osouted out ma tremendous pilot-like can manage you both." yoiee:." Isnow the time ?" asked the daughter of "Vile seducer and miserable voluptuary, the Erin, with an impatient start. time has now come, when with feelings outraged "Wait, Bridget. He must be punished, erc he by a long and patient suffering of the-feelings goes, with some scorn; with the contempt which which were outraged-by the suffering-in the- the impotent failure of his nefarious schemes, Vile seducer and miserable voluptuary! the time dark plotting and vile propositions, so richly call has now come, when with feelings outraged by--" forth from the heart of triumphant honor and Here as he seemed to have lost himself and manhood. Vile seducer and miserable voluptu- what ideas he intended to enunciate in the whirl. ary, the time has now come, when-" pool of his feelings, Bridget came to his rescue "Let it go, Rainsford," here whispered the and said: trembling little countess, vainly endeavoring to "Mr. Winkfield, ye are a nice man, but ye de- prompt her lord in his effort. " I can't remember savin bligyard, ye must be afther getting out of it at all. And tell him at once his intentions are this! 0" )discovered, and that we are sorry for him, and And a small voice from the outside was heard hope lie will do better and something else of that whispering to Mr. Hetherington at the door. "0 kind!" Rainsford! tell him quickly! Tell him quickly, "Your intentions, vile Winkfield, arc discov, au have this terrible suspense ended "1 ered," repeated the count. "We are sorry for "y dear Mr. Hetherington, and you, my dear you, and hope you will try to do better and some- adtam, I pray you come in. Calm your seeming thing else of that kind ! agitation, and tell me what this--this pleasantry , " Titman, an unintelligible difference has m eans," said our hero, astounded at the purport grown up between this gentleman and myself' of the words he had heard. ,.In spite of it, I need hardly ask you to take no- page: 66-67[View Page 66-67] 66 MR. WINKFIELD. I tice that I shall consider a repetition of the ep-" cination with your husband," said Moses, turning thets he is making use of as extremely insult- in an irritated way to Mrs. Hetherington. ing," said Moses energetically. "And now what " What act can you point at, which has not been intentions of mine do you refer to, sir ?" continued conceived by me with the greatest respect both he, turning to the count. for you and for your husband, madam -" "Base lodger, didn't you come into this house "I forgive you, sir, indeed I do," replied Mrs. for the purpose of-of wickedly winning the af- Hetherington, timidly; "but you admired-my- fections of Mrs. Hetherington ? Answer me.that." features and- Moses was so astounded at this, that he gasped "Gracious Heaven. Perhaps I was indiscreet. for words to reply. It was the natural tribute to your beauty, "Ah! your guilty conscience betrays you. madam ?" said Moses gallantly. You confess it here, before you leave in abashed "And you said you envied Mr. Hetherington dejection." his lot ." "I don't. I don't !" expostulated the perspir- "So I did, and I say so now," responded Moses ing Moses. "I don't confess any such prepos- frankly. terous nightmare's trumped-up fabrication. Why, 1"Look here! Would -you recommence this who has been deceiving you ? Who has been thing before my very presence ?" exclaimed the idly, maliciously, trifling with my reputation and lord, in irritation at the noticeable effect upon his' character? Give me the villain's name P" wife of these remarks of Moses. "But enough. "It was me!" replied the injured lord in a We called to give you notice to leave, as your fainter tone. "Stand by, Bridget. It was me month is up to-morrow at eleven, and we thought and my wife. We watched you and discovered, perhaps you would oblige us by doing. so to- early after you came here, your nefarious de- night."# signs. The very last time I took a walk with "You are fixed, madam, in your opinion that you the open insult came, but the- time has now I have meritedly forfeited your respect and friend- come for you, voluptuary, and your designs to ship?" be thwarted. Yes," continued he, gradually as- "Ye-yes, sir," replied the lady, looking at sured, and with a sudden inspiration of memory; her lord. "Yes, sir, I am. Mr. Hetherington "as the rock whose firm-set base not all the feels so, and so do I." tumult of the western surge can- shake, volup- "Well, then, I will leave the house, sir. I will, tuary, though the fierce winds uplift it to the madam, and at this very hour," replied Moses. stars, I will brave the shock of ruffian force and "You are both fixed in this preposterous, insane, stick to my assertions." and thoughtlessly unjust hallucination, and I can "1You don't know it, sir.' You don't know it. do nothing but leave. But, mind you, in doing You are foolish and infatuated. Either your so, I distinctly wish it to be understood, that I in reason never has been perfect, or else your no way plead guilty to this insane impeachment imagination has been lately getting the better of of my honor and sense of decency, not one jot it!" or tittle. I leave, simply because it would be in ".It hasn't! I deny it I warmly deny it!" re- very bad taste to stay here, and with the best of plied Mr. Hetherington. "Oppressive tyrant, feelings to you, madam, and your worthy husband. whom nor the sacred bond of justice, nor of Titman, I can't make head or tail of this, but we hospitality controls, vengeance at length is will quietly walk out of the house and proceed to aroused. Injured honor claims aloud the crim- the Evercroft. I can send a man for my ward- inal." robe, Mr. Hetherington." " Criminal! 'Do you know what it is, sir, to "Very well, And we shall keep the matter make this; this terrible charge against an honora- quiet, sir, and we hope you will not attempt again ble man, and that too in the presence of one of such a wicked purpose," replied Mr. Hethering- his best friends ?" asked Moses in solemn earnest- ton. "Don't cry, wife; never mind the rooms. ness. . We'll give up the house next month and go up "Nefarious man! you can not by any subter- to aunt's." fuge .hoodwink us, and you need not think' by Moses walked out of the room, between Mr. threatening usto'be able to suck in, as it were, Hetherington and his much affected wife, followed that friend." by Mr. Titman. He magnanimously proffered his "Wait ! You distinctly make this charge hand to them and then descended the staircase. against me," asked. Moses; "this grave charge He was about to turn at the bottom and grandly of deliberately seeking this roof for the purpose wave a pleasant adieu to them, when Mr. Titman of disturbing the honor and peace of your fell violently upon him and precipitated him family ?" against the front-door. The Irish girl, unable to "1I do, both me and my wife, Mrs. Hethering- resist the exercise of the power which she knew ton." she possessed over the physique and spirits of Mr. "1And you further state that it is not at the Titman, had given him a scornful push and sent instigation of any malicious person outside, but the little mani flying down-stairs. Moses and he you do it of your own accord, in consequence of heard the expostulationo 9f the bot at this, as your own sensible evidence of the existence of they finally shut the front-door after them and such an atrocious purpose on my part ?" they wended their way down the street. "1We do. Both me and my wife, Mrs. Hether- "This is a most singular charge, Titman," said ington." Moses, breaking the silence. Don't you think It is a terrible charge certainly !" said so?" Moses, pausing in meditative earnestness. " I do," replied Mr. Titman briefly-. , " You wince beneath the lash. It is justice, -" Did you ever hear of such a case, Titman ." sir," continued Mr. Hetherington. " Oh!I yes. I have heard of similar eases quite " And you, madam, do you share in this -hallu- frequently," replied Mr. Titman candidl7-. puvru'l weirauty. L-e mother of MISS De Pormpenkops was in her own comfortable boudoir, reading, for the one thousand seven hundredth time, extracts from that admirable and only reliable history of New-York, Knickerbocker's; the said extracts mainly appertaining to the necessary mention of the Pompenkop ancestry, in treating of the early horticulture of the country. The young lady herself received her embryotic ad- mirer in the library of the mansion, who plucked agitatedly at the bouquet in his button-hole, while his heart beat so loudly that he could plainly hear its tattoo. 1" The temperature is exceedingly disagreeable without, is it not, Mr. Toplady ?" asked the affable young lady, attributing his continued trembling to the inclemency of the evening. " Quite low and disagreeable," replied Mr. Toplady, as if remonstrating against the ungen- tlemanly conduct of the clerk of the weather al- luded to. "Your visit is a very generous one indeed, Mr. Toplady," continued the young lady graciously, " on such a night as this. You relieve my feel- ings of their monotony and gloom." "Ah !" replied Mr. Toplady, "can such a charming, vivacious spirit as yours be ever weighed down by gloom or monotony ?" " You know me not. I am but a human be- ing, alike with others, Mr. Toplady." "No; not at all," replied Mr. Toplady ardent- MR. WINKFIELD.-67 "I never dreamed of being accused by these ly. "At least not like others. Miss Wagbull people in this way I" and all who know you say that I" " Very likely !" "0 dear Miss Wagbull I" exclaimed Miss "It is a terrible thing! It is horrible, Tit- De Pompenkops ; "she is my most intimate man !" friend, sir !" " Yes," said Titman abstractedly, "trifling "Yes, and thus knows you best !" with that tenderest of objects, a confiding wom- 1"And her grandmother is such an excellent an's heart, whether to win it but to idly throw it upholder of society " away, or to win it where already bestowed." " And her father, an honorable, high-toned " Good Goq, what a coincidence! 'But appear- gentleman!" said Mr. Toplady enthusiastically. ances are against me, Titman, I confess. Yet "Yes." when I assert my innocence to you, may I not "And Timothy, the Irish boy, is a faithful do- ask you to say nothing about the affair-at least mestic lad, do you not think so " continued he, for the present, eh?" pursuing the catalogue for the purpose of recov- Titman promised, and Moses quietly effected ering his ideas. the change of domicile back again to the Ever. "Sir! Yes, sir. This whole household is croft, ere he retired to 'a somewhat disturbed very excellent indeed," replied the young lady, slumber. somewhat constrainedly. "4Their equipage is very elegant. A very fine pair of horses, Miss De Pompenkopsl" said Mr. Toplady exhaustively, and vainly struggling in CHAPTER XXXI. his own mind to change the subject. MR. TOPLADY AND MISq DE POMPENKOPS. "They are of fine English stock," said the young lady, politely concluding to ignore Mr. WHATEVER may have been the effect upon Mr. Toplady's last encomium, and referring again to Toplady of Mr Barnard's doubtful illustrations the Wagbull family,; " their first American an- of the matrimonial relation, it was evidently but cestor died in New-York in 1760." temporary, for lie had no sooner awakened the " In 1760! Has their pedigree been traced as next morning than he felt again a strong desire far back as that ?" asked Mr. Toplady. to go at once to Miss De Pompenkop's mansion, "Yes; and it shows the health and vigor of and make the initiatory application for the posi- their race. This ancestor, sir, died at the ad- tion of object to that young lady's destitute affee- vanced age of ninety-five years, respected by all tions. He wisely resolved, however, to read up the Dutch as well as the English residents," contin- for a day or two longer on the necessary require- ued the young lady. ments thereof, and,.upon the evening of the third " Gracious ! At that age 1" replied Mr. Top- day, presented himself at her door with a mon- lady in astonishment; "he must have been re- ster nosegay in his buttonhole. Two supercilious spected." colored domestics opened the door, who hesitated "He served Trinity parish, and was beloved from doubt whether he was an amateur cr profes- by all the parishioners. For thirty-five years h1e sional florist; but upon his giving one of them occupied a stall in that church, sir." a smart blow with his cane, they ran away swiftly "In the church I" responded Mr. Topladv to urfnrm th niA,,r dii 111ihe confusedly. . "Yes, and the month previous to his decease he preached a sermon before the parish, re- markable for the sonorous tone in -wich it was delivered." :"Preached a sermon! By heavenI Ha ha ! very good. Very good, indeed, Miss De Pom- penkops !" cried Mr. Toplady, much pleased with the apparent unbending of the young lady. "And his conversation too was discreet, I sup- pose; not in yea and nay, but neigh principally." The refined young lady started perceptibly at these words. ' Do you not think it a judicious practice to preserve the records of ancestry ?" continued she rather forcedly. " Certainly," replied Mr. Toplady, abashed again ; " certainly. Even the memory of the faithful servants of a family should be preserved." , "With common people, of course, it is not perhaps essential," continued the young lady. ."No; their mission is to set off by contrast. the excellence of blood," said Mr. Toplady gal- lantly ; "for this reason, Providence has wisely deprived them of the knowledge, and the most of them of the belief, they ever had any ances- tors I" "But do you deem this contrast necessary, sir ?" replied the young lady, who still felt called' upon, as a member of the aristocracy, to defend hereditary refinement from the vulgarity of be- ing relative even. page: 68-69[View Page 68-69] 68 MR INKFIELD. "Perhaps not. I may say not ; for though The domestics were directed to light the gal- there were no vulgarity in the world, refinement lery, and presently Mr. Toplady escorted the would still be a term of which no one moving in young patrician to the same, with increasing in- the circle which you adorn, Miss de Pompenkops, terest, and followed by the easy Mr. Beckman. would mistake the meaning," replied the bril- The dust had been allowed to accumulate in liant courtier, bowing low. the room in fit accord with the antiquity which " You are very kind," said the young lady, ma. it contained. The dim light of the chandelier jestically acknowledging the compliment. She fell upon a long row of portraits upon the wall, smiled upon Mr. Toplady. the counterfeit presentments of the young lady's She seemed to stand upon a metaphorical emi- ancestry ; and a feeling of subdued awe pervad- nence, and look down upon the world, which, ed Mr. Toplady's bosom, at the sight of these in- though necessarily brought in contact with, she teresting relies of a noble race. He seemed to inwardly despised. The union of natural grace be carried back in the past to the times in whicl1 and grandeur, with the habits and sentiments of those haughty men and fair ladies once lived and aristocratic seclusion, of sweet female weakness- breathed.. es, with the austerity of pride, was manifested in " This is the founder of our house," said Miss her character with the most beautiful and won- Pompenkops, in a low voice, as they stood before derful consistency. The heiress of a proud the first portrait in the line, that of a dignified name and much wealth, a train of obedient plea- personage, with long flowing beard whitened with sures had ever waited round; and from her in- years, and with a tremendous forehead, bending fancy she had breathed an atmosphere redolent over a ponderous.tome, apparently in rapt, mysti- with the horticultural perfume of her lofty deri- fled study of its occult principles. Above him ovation. If, then,, her grace was commanding, on the canvas were represented the celestial her elegance high-hred and airy ; if, she even spaces-the empyrean, starry host, asteroids and threw into the manner in which she sneezed, constellations; and at one side was an alembic coughed, or waved the perfume from er hand- in a high state of successful effervescence. kerchief, a spirit of magnificent haughtiness, he "He came from Arabia in the tenth century, remembered it was the pardonable result of hav- without any name, and was called ' the mysterious ing a Dutch market-gardener for an ancestor two horologer.' He brought with him clocks, and a centuries before, who, being contented with his singular powder. Placing the latter under the lot, did not sell it, but left it to be gilded with burghers' assembly-house, of a town which had time for his posterity. It sufficed him to see in fallen under the reigning count's displeasure, he that sweet smile, that she was a woman, that blew them up while they were concocting a peti- there was a strong under-current of human pas- tion of grievances, was baptized and knighted, sions and enthusiasm flowing beneath that received the Christian name of 'Slagting-duivel haughty reserve. He therefore continued his ef- Van Pompoenkops,' or 'the unearthly slaughterer fort, by replying to her sweet look with a tender of the Pompoenkops,' obtained the hand of the grimace, which, although it alarmed her slightly count's daughter in marriage, though at the ma- at first, was on the whole quite successful in re- ture age of one hundred and fifty years ; and moving her reserve, for she began to look upon henceforth gunpowder was introduced in Dutcli him as one of those eccentric gentlemen, who wars, and shortly throughout Europe." are accustomed to display their affability in little The young lady thus proceeded. The next freaks of humor, portrait was that of the mysterious horologer's "fThe archives of our family we have carefully son, the reigning count and Hovenipr, surnamed preserved, Mr. Toplady," continued she, rather Bezopen Zottebol, from his fondness for wine. The hastily. " We have whole boxes of parchments next, that of his wife, Joanna, author of the great and deeds. I would they were arranged, and we original temperance movement of the twelfth cen- must certainly have a secretary. Perhaps you tury; and the next that of the renowned warrior would like to examine the portrait-gallery, Mr. of the fourteenth century, Sehijtebroek Scheten- Toplady9" laat Pompenkops, famous for his Parthian me- "Certainly !" said Mr. Toplady in rapture. thod of warfare. Then followed twelve more Here they were interrupted by the entrance of ancestors, variously renowned, who seemed to a magnificent pair of whiskers, attached to a have a remarkable personal likeness to each gentlemanalso magnificently gotten up - who other-the males invariably looking to the left, bowed themselves into the room, with the easi- over an immense moustache and a very elabo- nessthe impossibility of being annoyed, result- lately painted coat of armor; and the females, ing from a long experience in society, and imme- with a hawk on the fore-finger, all looking to the diately commenced to put in play some of the right at their respective lords, over a huge ruff. simple ways of creating little social sensations, " And this is our great American ancestor, the with which they inspired their porter, about the utopian Count Rip Stadtholder Van Po'mpenkops, starting period of their growth, and which con- who, disappointed in early affection, left his nia- sistedin his gentle tugs at them, his senten- tive land to found a state in the Western World, tiousness, and his intelligent smile, The man- and pursue his predilection for horticulture." ncr of this Mr. Beekman-bobuts - for by that " Why, he is in armor too !" exclaimed Mr. name the cherisher of these whiskers was intro- Toplady, as the portrait of the exile represented duced to Mr. plady as extremely deferential him in a full suit of armor, bending scrutatively tMis Dc Pomeikos but lie seemed to be over some cabbage-heads. aweofiasfampena foops; the, which Mr. Top- " Yes - the painter wished to represent the aayeed a a mg t ere, w . his.torical' fact that,, while pursuing his horticultu- "tadenie," exhodught tlhe latter, "you can't go ral relaxations amid the hostile aborigines of anywhere, nto thrsneo yn lady but Manhadden, it was often necessary for him to he ayume a flow reene" ougthus protected." I MR. WINKFIEL-69 Mr. Toplady had retrograded to a distant end "Now, faithful squire, you must hang these of the gallery, to take a species of retrospective upon the valiant knight's shoulders. They are genealogical glance down the long line of por- called poldrons," continued the fair dame. tiaits; and in twisting his head into a proper ar- Mr. Beekman tugged at two immense plates of tistic position therefore, brought it in smart con- iron,and successively fastened them upon Mr. Top. tact with an object which emitted a metallic, lady's back. The latter sunk to a more compact- ringing sound. sitting posture on the stand beneath their weight, .Ah! that is the casque or helmet which the and began to perspire profusely. illustrious exile brought with him to this coun- "By heavens,'they must have had immense try," said Miss Pompenkops, as Mr. Toplady strength ! Immense !" repeated he. stared confusedlyet it, doubting from the severity "Now place the breast-plate in its position," of the blow, whether the prolonged sound he directed Miss Pompenkops. heard came from theinteresting relic or from the "The breast-plate ! why, this coat of mail ap- interior of his head. "See, we have the com- pears a sufficient protection, certainly!I But pro- plete suit of' armor." ceed," said the chivalrous Toplady, making an- And hereupon Mr. Toplady learned the singu- other effort. lar and-providential manner in which the armor " And now you will have the kindness to stand had been rescued from obscurity. After two up, and he will place the tuilettes upon you. centuries of an unknown history, it was discov- They are the overlapping pieces, hanging from cared by the young lady's father in a junk-shop in the waist over the hips, and fasteied by clasps." Water street, with two bunches of extremely de- Mr. Toplady slid into the greaves and boots, cayed radishes in one of the cuisse's pockets, and and assumed an erect posture. in the other an autograph letter of Governor "Never mind the tuilettes! I really do not qarsKoppig to the Count Rip Stadtholder, re- think I can stand them. I know I can't. I am questing the latter to return him a demiohn he sure of it," said he eniphatically. the boed. Proofs indubitab h ier Very well then. Now the trusty lance." the Water street shopman was a correct histori- Mr. Toplady grasped the lance gratefully. cal scholar, or else had procured the assistance '"And now the parache, or nodding plume." of one in inventing the lively imposition. To "No, never mind, never mind that ! Really, I make the latter the more illusory, the main part don't think I can wait !" hastily replied Mr. Top- of the helmet was found at the moment of pur- lady. He summoned up superhuman strength, and chase, in use by the wife of the proprietor as a took a step forward. His manner in this movement utensil for soap-making. was not very grand or majestic, but still it was W h hat immense headsour ancestors must very interesting and affecting, for it seemed like have hads" cried the curious Mr. Toplady, exper- that of a noble warrior, enfeebled by his wounds, mentally adjusting the heavy helmet upon his about sinking upon the glorious field of battle. own head. "Wait! wait! Dear me!" suddenly exclaimed - ""Ohc! do put on the restof the ;armor, Mr. he. "There appears to be something in one of Toplady," cried the young lady vivaciously. "I the feet, something alive I" In his distraction, would so like to see the presentment of a warrior the warrior agitatedly felt of his helmet, and in of the olden time! Mr. Beekman will assist you, doing so caused the volant piece or vizor to drop and I can direct ou. See! the hauberk or shir with a smart snap, He thua became completely -chemise of mail is suspended near by, with its encased and shut out from view. The sound of his sleeves already attached. You must commence voice at once emanated in a very indistinct and with that." hollow manner from within, yet his accents seem- The ardent Toplady politely complied with her ed to be those of a person desirous of being im- request. mediately relieved from an unpleasant situation. Gracious! I didn't think it was so heavy !" He again confusedly endeavored to raise one of said he, as he adjusted the iron jacket with the his feet, for the purpose of taking another step, aid of the affable Beekman. It appeared large and in the performance of this arduous feat lost enough to contain Mr. Toplady and one of each the balance of his person, which he had been generation of his ancestors as far back as to the struggling so manfully to retain. He staggered timc it was originally constructed, and fell to the floor with quite a heavy crash. "oAnd here are the greaves and cuisses for the "I am not hurt, but take off the helmet.! lower limbs, with the getiouilleres, or knee-pieces Heavens, Beekman, lift the vizor! I am suffo- already attached, and the sallerets overlapping cating! I can't stand it! And they are biting the feet. By mounting this stand, against which me in the leg I" were the hasty accents which in- they rest, you can insert your limbs in them at distinctly emanated from the metallic case, as once."t the utterer made an unsuccessful attempt to sit Mr. Toplady mounted the standdat the immi- up. "There are two rats in.the left leg !" lent risk of falling backward; and with the as- The disagreeableness, if not the danger of his sistance of Mr. Beekman succeeded in placing his situation was certainly apparent, and Mr. Beek. lems in the stiff ca e ofemetal. There wasN great man endeavored at once to relieve the unfortu- rother also Thy wrfulaotlonger than nate gentleman. But in vain did the affable Do teTpladian limbs; the calves were about three Bobuts essay to unfasten the vizor or pull off the fetgraround and the hoots appeared at least of helmet, the rusty clasp of the former had fas- asgta lnt. tened with such a vigor to the clamp in the hau- "Tese upper things must remain unhasped," berk. He tugged first at his whiskers and then Suggested Mr. Toplady prudently placing his hand at the helmet, and unintentionally aided the vie- Upon the cuisses, or thigh-pieces. " Though he .tim's rapid progress toward extermination by a ppears to have been much broader than he was adding choking to the latter's want of air and large long, his stature wias evidently greater than mine." inhalations of dust.. A couple of negro domes- page: 70-71[View Page 70-71] 70 MR. WINKFIELD.R ties came rapidly into the room, attracted there- to by the noisy crash of his downfall. With great presence of mind one of them immediately returned to the kitchen for a hammer, while Mr. Beekman and the others occpied their time in restlessly carrying the hapless knight in his case to various parts of the room, for the purpose of supplying him with his great need, fresh air..But the colored master of the situation soon arrived from the kitchen with the happy instrument, and by one or two smart blows the clasp was disen- gaged, the helmet removed, the hauberk unfas- tened, and Mr. Toplady successfully drawn out by the head and shoulders from the rest of the, case of mail. Though the vital spark still ani- mated his organization, he was semi-insensible, and many moments elapsed ere he was sufficient- ly recovered to enjoy the sympathy of Miss Pom- penkops, the congratulations of Mr. Beekman- bobuts, and the decease of the rats. He presently walked out of the house, and homeward. What his feelings were on his way home we do not know, but we imagine that as his torture was now a thing of the past, and the sympathy of the young lady still glowed in his memory, he finally thought more of the latter than he did of the former. CHAPTER XXXTL MIs STACY SEEKS THE cONFIDENCE OF MR. TITMAN MR. HYPERINoN RUNSWIcK DIFFIcULTS. TnE impression left upon our hero by the un usual warmth of Miss Stacy's friendship, by th mixture of playfulness and sensibility, and wha the French call naivete, was like, so to speak that of delicious strains of musio. lie discover ed in his being a depth of delight, which pe plexed him by its very inexpressibility. We wil not give here particular passages, as they had relative beauty which rendets it difficult to sei arate them from each other r their surroundin circumstances without barringg their general e feet. Suffice to say that what she said and di in her lively intercourse with him possessed th mingled charm of.pathos and humor. Thong of course, it will be evident to every reader,' was not at all from being overpowered' by theic demonstrations that Moses had transferred hi lodgings from the hotel to Bank street, it neve - theless happened. that by this means she can much less in contact with him, being deprived his society to such a degree as. to induce her seek temporary consolation therefor in that off elderly Cuban gentleman, of large possession who had lately arrived in the metropolis. Bu that our readers may observe the constancy o her friendship for our hero, notwithstanding th we will report a brief conversation which she h with Mr. Titman, about the period of Moses'sr turn to the Evercroft House. Mr. Titman had been kindly amusing theI dies of the hotel, one evening, in its parlor, by chaste performance upon that excellent instr meant, the accordeon, in whose varied and coi prehensive capacities he was a skillful adel One by one the audience had gradually left the conclusion of the entertainment, no dou unfortunately called away by pressing duties engagements, until she was left to enjoy his ciety and musical abilities alone. Though she also appeared to be frequently reminded of mat- ters which required her presence elsewhere, and more than once seemed resolved upon leaving; she, nevertheless, forewent duty for pleasure, and remained in company with the accomplish- ed artist until he had finished his repertoire. She had another motive for lingering than her desire for the sensuous excitement afforded by Mr. Titman's performance. As he triumphantly placed his instrument in its box, she compli- mented him not only upon his artistic skill, but upon his general intelligence, sensibility, refined manners, generosity, friendship, and various other virtues of cbracter. Whereupon Mr. Tit- man very properly endeavored to corroborate the correctness of her remarks, by attempting on the spot an arduous compound expression and bearing illustrative of these numerous character- "Ah! life itself, with its various amusements, duties, struggles, and disappointments, is amys- terious instrument, is it not ." continued she, after she had again referred to his late musical effort. "It is," said Mr. Titman, who was waitmg o see how she made it out. "T hosehamusements, struggles, pains, hopes and fears are so many keys upon whicn we are called to play," said Miss Stacy. " Yes, and a good many people are not allow- ed to play on any but the minor scale," observed Mr. Titman, apprehending her idea. ' Very true, sir. It is alas!1 true," said. Miss Stacy, with a sigh, "I would hardly wish to in- e clude myself among such, but-" t "What! have you pains, struggles, and fears , too ?" asked Mr. Titman, gallantly. "I would r- hardly have thought so bright a character de- r- served them." LI "I appreciate your sympathy, Mr. Titman, al- a though I am aware your feelings are prepossess- p- ed in favor of another. Yes, I have a pain aud ig disorder I" g diso ow me," exclaimed Mr. Titman. "Of - ,,,,ow -e d what nature -" le "A general restlessness of spirit, an eagerness h for that which I have not, a trembling suspense it of being, a weakness at times of-" e o Then let me recommend to you a bottle of is Radway's Relief. Undoubtedly a disorder of the r- nervous system, originating in some slight bilious ne derangement-" of Sir I" to "It is an excellent restorative, and refreshes an, the system. The advertisement says so, at any is, rate !" it, "You mistake me, sir 1" said Miss Stacy with f some feeling. ."You mistake me. It is spirit- is, ual I mean, a disorder of the sensibilities 1" ad "Ahl! Oh! Excuse me. I thought you re- re- ferred to a physical affection. I beg pardon, Miss Stacy." la- "And alas, it is one which perhaps too great- y a ly needs tre kind confidence and sympathy of ru- some generous friend," continued she. m- "Why not mine? I would be proud to offer pt. it," responded Mr. Titman. tre " The object, w-th which these feelings may be Lbt said to be somewhat connected is a near and in- or timate associate of yours. Yes, perhaps I a so- judicious in confiding in you1 " Very right, madam, very right. And that associate is, I may ask-" "Mr. Winkfield." "Winkfield! why, what has he been doing " exclaimed Mr. Titman, much interested. "Ex- cuse me, but what relations-" " Dear me, I would reveal my delicate posi- tion to you, Mr. Titman, but it is with the in- junction of the strictest confidence " "Certainly."- "And it is for his benefit, you know, the ben- efit of one in whom you are so deeply interest- ed, as well as myself, that I have dared to dis- close it to you."I We can not resist the opportunity of observing here that never was there, perhaps, a more beau- tiful picture of a woman's love, cherished in se- cret, not self-consuming in silent languishment, not pining in thought, not passive and despond- Ing as she asserted, but patient and hopeful, strong in its own intensity and sustained by its own fond faith, that either Moses or the Cuban gentleman was destined to become hers. So in re- sponse to Mr. Titman's earnest request to pro- ceed, she continued: "4I have done this solely for your advice. A Cuban gentleman (spare me the necessity of men- tioning his name upon my assuring you of his undoubted refinement and exquisite sensibility- a sensibility ever tropical in its nature, Mr. Tit- man) has rendered me such attentions lately as have really caused me much anxiety regarding my connection with his future happiness. Oh I spare my blushes, my agitation ! To be plain, I can not decide if I could rightly give him my hand ere I have ascertained that I should not give unneces- sary pain thereby to another, to your noble friend, Mr Winkfield." "I do not know, madam. I only know that were I in Mr. Winkfield's place, it would give me pain !" replied Mr. Titman gallantly. "I am unacquainted with his sentiments, but as a friend of Mr. Winkfield, Miss Stacy, I should advise you not to give your hand to the Spanish gen- tleman !" " I thank you. You relieve my feelings. Ah! perhaps I have said too much. Surely, you will not reveal this conversation to Mr. Winkfield ?" "Certainly not, as it is a matter of confi- dence."' d"nYou, no doubt, might thereby confer a ben- efit upon him which he ardently wishes, but you do not think of such a step, I hope ?" "Oh! no, certainly not !" "There would be a definite solution.of the matter, anid I should be entirely relieved of my disagreeable suspense, if you informed him that a gentleman from Cuba, at present in New-York, stopping at the Brevoort House, and frequenting the Evercroft Hotel-I disclose his name, the Senor Flor do Cabanas--has wished to identify his happiness with mine ; but I hope it is not your intention of doing any thing of this kind." " By no means. Rest assured in my perfect silence and discretion, Miss Stacy !"1 " You would render your friendship with him much stronger, and no doubt produce a display of his gratitude at some future time; but this, assur- edly, will not influence you ?" " Well, as you wish it, no. Certainly, no. I will not," replied Mr. Titman, slightly wavering at this point., nYou, perhaps, feel it your dutyenotwithstand. ing. You may, perhaps, feel it your duty at some moment hereafter to do so, or may, quite natu- rally, divulge it to him in an unguarded moment; but do not, I beg of you." "Never Rely upon my faithfulness, Miss Stacy!" And Mr. Titman was faithful in his guardian- ship of this delicate secret, for Moses never heard the slightest word in any way whatever upon the subject from him, and the little man thus showed a power of reticence which was reAlly wonderful in him, and which Miss Stacy, perhaps, hardly expected from his somewhat unstablecharacter, when she revealed it to him. But if she failed in this attack uponhim, she was still indefatigable. She endeavored to induce the proprietor of the hotel to speak to Moses about it, when he settled his bill; and although this worthy person failed too, through forgetful- ness resulting from business cares, her constancy was unflinching in furthering her twofold deter- mination of purpose. On returning to the hotel, Moses concluded, as a matter of economy, to take exclusively into his service one of the colored waiters, instead of keeping three -or four, as Mr. Toplady did, in the disguise of house-servants. There was one who had much pleased our hero by the faithfulness with which he had attended to numerous little wants and errands, and inquiring into his relia- bility of the clerk of the hotel, sent for him end made the proposition, which the delighted domes- tic at once accepted. " What is your family name, Brunswick ?" asked Moses of him. 1 Hyperion, sir I My full opithet is H 'yperon Brunswick Difficults. My author's name was Previous Difficults," replied the domestic loqua- ciously. "Very odd name, sir! All my male an- cestorial relatives have borne it, and my eldest brother in the navy bears it now." Moses thought it was a very odd appellation, and in reflecting for the moment upon it, imag- ined it might have been originally bestowed upon the great common stock of the family, by some African chief or sovereign, perhaps, to com- memorate troubles, into which the maternalcpar- ent of the stock had been plunged and extricated from, previous to his birth. He then requested Brunswick, who was poltely making iarfeint of arranging the room in order to remain, to pro- ceed with further particulars of his fam1ily and race. "vMy father was of very playful disposition, sir; used to come home and break all the furniture for sport. He was a fisherman," continued Brunswick. "Used to bob for eels in Wallabout bay, and sell them in the markets, sir. One day, extremely auspicious for his piscatorial pursuits, when it was raining, he was out in the bay, and feeling as it were uncomfortable for to bail the boat, he extricated a plug in the bottom to ex- clude the water out troo the orifice, and the water permeating through the aperture back agin, swamped the vessel, sir. My mother-in-law seen him from the door, but 'twant no use. He had as high as ten pounds of leadinto his pocket, and Ie went down to wunst" " Ah !" said Moses, sympathizing with his do: maestic at the sad loss. " The boat was washed ashore," continued the MR. WINKFIELD. page: 72-73[View Page 72-73] 72 MR. WINKFIELD. latter. "We picked it up. It was jest as good as ever, all except the plug, sir. Jest as good as, the first day it was made !" "Ahem! yes." "I wish he was alive now. I jest wish he was a-livin !" said the domestic after a pause, in a kind of subdued fury. " Wouldn't he swat that ere Jinks across the snodgin ?" " Eh! What? What is that? What is the snodgin ?" " I mean, as it were, jest to revenge himself upon his protuberance, his nasal protuberance, sir !" "Why, what would he do that for ?" inquired the master, benevolently noticing the deep feel- ing with which the remark was emendatdd by his servant. "And who is Jinks, Brunswick ?" " That's what I'd like to tell you, if you please, sir. I thought I ought to tell you, before I en- gaged myself to you, sir, as I get sometimes wild, and you might think it was caused by something else." "Very true, Brunswick. Proceed." "This is one of my bad days. He was around there this mornin'. I seed 'em a talking together for over an hour in the wash-shed. His name is Jinks, but he's romantic, and has took on his mother's name, which is Lommeydew, and he's been courting' around mother-in-law ever since about a month after the old gentleman went the last time a-bobbing." " Ah! your step-mother ?" 4 Yes, my own mother deceased in my infancy, sir. He's jist as if he belonged to the other sect; 'scuse the allusion, sir. Talking poetry and knit- ting, and eating and drinking with fluency, and studying for the ministry. That's the way he comes it over her, to use a familiar phrase. All the females of Shiloh are mad after him. She's a good creature, and enjoys their envy, and thinks he means what he says. When he gets to eatin' and drinkin', he means what he does, certainly. It's a kind of disease with him. He comes there almost every day at dinner, when he doesn't come in the morning to stay all day. She's eating nothing and looking at him tenderly; and he's all the while smiling at her, while he is hoeing the food in heaps and shoveling it down his thote I And no liquor better be kept around handy neither. Two or three times I've seen him when he's come there in his fits, as he calls them; fits froni his sensitive nature to poetry and reli- gion, sir! 'Scuse me, sir," continued the unhappy domestic, making an unconscious grasp at the poker in his indignation. "I could just take and-"' " Calm yourself, Brunswick said Moses, much interested. " This is all, perhaps, very natural, and your feelings1too, are natural; but'you must remember that it is exceedingly common for la- dies, who have been once bereaved; to seek a second object for their affections. And perhaps it is a wise dispensation that such should be the case, and indeed the wisdom, too, seems mostly on the side of the lady." "All he wants is her money. The old gentle- man left her somethin', and she is industrious in washing, until she's tuck in several hundred dol. lars, and lie knows it. You may think, perhaps I'd like to get it, but it is not that. No, it's be. cause he's deceivin' her all the time, until he eanr jest get lawful holt on that cre sum. I can'1 kick him out, for he'd only make out to her he was abused, and she'd go in for good and run away with him. As 'tis, if I say nothin' when I go there, and don't do nothin' more than go scowlin' about, neither of 'em mind me, and things go on jest about the same. Fortnitly, as she knows what the difference is, she seems to like courtship better than bein' married. It's been going' on now about four years !" "Your course is very judicious, Brunswick," said Moses; "but may you not have been mis- taken in judging of the relations between them ? May she not consider it her duty to extend her hospitality to him as a member of the religious society to which she belongs, or even in ordinary friendship, which is so delightful to see, even though it be mistaken sometimes ?" "No, sir," replied Brunswick, continuing fixed in his disgust. "Ef I've seen 'em once, I've seen 'em fifty times a-huggin' of each other, and she appears to do the most of it." This seemed conclusive evidence to Moses, and he proceeded: " But still you must not permit your feelings ,to get the better of your judgment, Brunswick. If this object of her affections is really unworthy of them, I will assist you in your honorable and filial endeavor to wean her from them, or at least to impress her with his true character, ere she takes the fatal step. Has any thing occurred lately, which you think demands our immediate attention, Brunswick ?" " Oh! no, sir, only I left him this mornin', while she was gone away to carry home her wash, suckin' eggs in the hen-house in "Very well, at any time when you desire to converse with me on this subject, you may, Brunswick. And you can now brush my clothes and leave." " Thank you, sir," replied the gratified Bruns- wick, touching his forelock. CHAPTER XXXIII. A NOCTURNAL ADVENTURE. Ma. WINKFIELD Well knew his friend Titman's susceptibility to female influence, but lie was not aware of the extent to which the latter's imagi- nation got the better of his memory in his con- fessions thereon. In fact, Titman did not know it himself, and his case upon this matter. was, no doubt, another instance of the curious anom- aly that men can sometimes enthusiastically per- suade themselves, as well as others, into a belief that they are veracious when' they are not strict- lV so. Moses had returned from the Arebmological Rooms to his. lodgings at the Evercroft House, after assisting at a quiet unrolling and examina- tion of a damaged female mummy by that learn-, ed Egyptian scholar, the librarian, in the latter's private office; the said mummy being a kind of unofficial and private luxury, which the librarian had bought for himself out of an importation, - anid as a special favor permitted Moses to assist ,in decorticating. The research had been ex- - tremely thorough, and the perplexing fact that they had found within the envelop on the mum- tmy's head a crushed Parisian hat having led to NKFIELD. 73 MR. WI a prolonged and indecisive colloquy, Moses was quite exhausted. He was therefore much pleas- ed to find Mr., Titman in his parlor, and in that gentleman's society to turn his thoughts for the while from th'e profound researches of historical science to the commoner events of daily exist- ence. Titman appeared to have something un- common to talk about, however. " What is the matter ?" asked Moses, noticing his air.I " There are moments," replied Titman with much solemnity, "when the Ian becoming at once a hero and a slave is, as, it were, consider- ing those points, a-a-heroic in his tendencies, and as it were-but, perhaps if is better for me to reveal to you at once the circumstances which have surrounded me during the past week !" " That is right, of course, go on at once," said Moses in a sympathetic voice from his dressing- room, while washing his hands. "Last Sunday, Moses," commenced Mr. Tit- man, "I was invited by a young friend of mine, an artist from Boston, by the name of Giovanni Brown, to make a passing call with him upon a wealthy gentleman's family residing in Madlison avenue, for whom he had lately been doing some fine paintings. Moses, the young lady, the daughter of the family was the only one who happened to be at home! Singular fatality! But let me go on quickly," continued the ardent Thomas. "I will not rehearse the numerous manifestations of regard observable in her con- duct. At this moment I sacredly withhold them, as-as sacred even-even from your con- fidence, Moses, and I am sure of your appreciat. ing my delicacy. Suffice it to say, she asked me-to call again! And, 0 Moses-but let me proceed. I did call again-on Wednesday. Her parent was there, the old gentleman. I endeav- ored to behave in a modest, diffident, and unos- tentatious way, and his sweet daughter received me in an extremely courteous manner. Her large black eyes swam with an unusual fustre, but he had most unfortunately imbibed the no- tion that I was a tufthunter, or something of that sort. I am sure of it. In fact, Moses," con- tinued Titman, in a depressed way, " he--he, so to say, pitched into me and defied me. Gracious I I was so astonished at this unexpected thing I was taken with a vertigo, and became so dizzy as nearly to tumble off my chair. Miss Williams, that's her name, endeavored to change her fath- er's ungracious behaviour by laughing, and to encourage and reassure me. But I still observ- ed he was partially pacified. He kept his eyes on me in a very suspicious manner all the while he was going out of the room, and in the hall. In fact, Moses; as I noticed. she was obliged to smile at the occasion in spite of herself, I had to get up and back out." "It was extremely awkward," said Moses. " Awkward! It was the hardest time I ever had. He is an irascible, ill-natured old beng,0 and it is almost as much as a man's life is worth to enter his house, when he is at home. 0 dear ! it is just my fortune ! But I have been again. Moses, I-" " Wait !" exclaimed Moses here. He remem- bered the fickleness which had seized his friend in the affair of the deaf girl in Dibblctown; a ease which resulted in such a fatal manner to the poor girl, and now the tall sisters were being de- serted for this new object. "Before you pro- ceed, Titman, let me know if you are serious this time. Mind, you must know you are serious, confound me if you mustn't," concluded Moses, striking the table vehemently. "Serious, Moses! Yes, I will confess to hav- ing hitherto trifled when I should not. I have perhaps too lightly considered the feelings and hopes of others. But in this, I see the footsteps of destiny before me. They beckon me, that is, destiny beckons me to follow, Moses! We pledged each other's troth this afternoon in the entry of her mansion. She confessed her rash- ness and the precipitancy of the thing, but we both knew the fatality which drove us on." " This is the most extraordinary thing I've ever heard," said Moses, staring at Titman. "After four days' acquaintance, and in -the entry " " Yes ! We would have done it in the parlor, but do you see, her mother was there, and she probably would have put a stop to it," replied Mr. Titinan minutely. " Very well, very wellI" said Moses curtly, for some conscientious doubts about the propriety of such rashness and irregularity were occupying him. There was a meditative silence for a few mo- ments, when Mr. Titman burst forth in the fol- lowing -eloquent description of the lady of his passion, being as much as he could then remem- ber of one of a heroine he once met with in a novel, in Dibbletown: " 0 Moses! you can fancy nothing half so brilliant, so beautiful, so joyous. Luxuriant tresses of the fairest, most silken texture; eyes blue, and radiant as the heavens from which she descended; checks of-" " Wait a moment," interrupted Moses. "You said her eyes were black a little while ago, and now you say they are blue. You mean black of course, don't you?" "Did I say blue? I mean black ocoursc, Yes," resumed Mr. Titman, "eyes black as the heavens from which she descended, cheeks of rose, and lips of carnation, a skin white and pol- ished! Ah! you should have seen it-not as marble or snow, nor as satin it seemed - 0 Moses! and her form, Moses, by the soft power of Venus, 'twas matchless. Ha ! the bounding elasticity of the child, and yet the rounded beau- ty of the woman, arms that might serveas models to the sculptor, hands that- looked as if only formed to play with flowers, feet that seem al- most too small to bear the beautiful figure. 0 such loveliness transcendent ! A perfect child in manner too. You should have seen her, when resisting the expostulation of her another, upon her slight toilet, consisting of the morning che- mise or robe, with a certain half-pouting, half- laughing look, and arch vivacity she-" lie was unable to go on, and Moses too was thoroughly overcome. They stood for some time in convulsive silence, supporting each other, until their deep emotion had passed away. When Moses recovered his mind, he applauded his friend's choice. He grasped his hand, and in low tones warmly promised his active friendship and counsel, should it be needed, in assisting him to win this dazzling jewel. Titman then expressed his heartfelt gratification at this new evidence of Moses's sympathy, and promptly followed him in to dinner, The next day, he walked with our page: 74-75[View Page 74-75] 74 MR. WINKFIELD. I hero past the house of his inamorata. On that base. You can be the tenor, Winkfield. There's occasion his knees shook and his legs manifested no use declining; I know you've got a fine voice, a repeated inclination to double up as he ap- and know how to sing too. Jim Simonds will do proehed the house; but as Moses found it im- the base, and I can get little Joe Hawks, too, I possible to induce the little man to proceed with think. He can relieve you on the tenor, when his original intention of introducing him there or you get tired. Just the thing." even to look at the parlor windows as they went " And, Titman I you can bring with you your by, he momentarily concluded that the parents' accordeon," magnanimously suggested Moses to opposition was much stronger than his friend had his friend, who had modestly refrained from re- depicted. Titman here confessed that the young lying upon it, in a matter of so much magnitude. lady had not accepted him, in so many words, as Titman trembled with anxiety and delight. her lover; but still, the circumstances of their " Congratulate you, old fellow. Has she got last meeting were ample enough to warrant his lots of rocks ?" asked the fireman in delicate concluding that she wished to do so, and he felt sympathy, as Titman blushed, and shook the convinced that her passion would soon be dis- former's proffered hand. That very night was closed in articulated accents. Upon this, sus- settled upon, as the weather was propitious, and training the little man in his agitation, Moses re- " we'll have a supper at the tavern after the sere- peatedly advised him to courageously persevere, nade" said Mr. Titman impulsively. and pursue the thingin a manly and straightfor- On the six o'clock New-Haven alecommodation ward manner. train, the party, including the valuable acquisition A week or two afterward, Moses again alluded of little Joe Hawks, might be seen enjoying the to the interesting subject, and Mr. Titman in- prosp ct of a fine night's adventure. It was after formed him of its progress: dark when they reached the village, and although fome have been around there so often, that I be- but the hour of eleven had been reached, there live the neighbors begin to take me to be a seemed no one stirring in that land of primitive burglar reconnoitring. Confound me, if I don't. habits, excepting about the depot and adjacent But, Moses, she's gone away. She's gone out to a hotel. An half-hour was consumed at the latter' town in Connecticut. I got it from the grocer, in securing beds and in ordering supper to await and the grocer got it from the maid. They've their return from the serenade. Having at the got a country-seat at Rye, or a friend has, or bar repeatedly fortified against the night air their somethingc of that sort, and she's gone t make a adventurous spirits, the party walked out, under country visit. I know just where it is, and I've the lover's lead, to the temporary temple which gota project, which I think-which I think," re- contained his goddess. They at last found it, on peated Mr. Titman mysteriously yet triumphantly, the distant side of the village. .After some mis- " will succeed in furthering my hopes more than giving on the part of the impassioned swain, as all the visits I could pay her here. What do you to its being the right place, and upon the part of think of it'?" Moses, that there might be dogs upon the premi- Moses intimated that he would be a better ses, they quietly opened the front-gate, and pro- judge, when he heard what the project was, and needed with whispers to arrange themselves upon thereupon Mr. Titman informed him that he had the grass, in front of thd mansion, and under the brilliantly conceived the grand stroke of bringing window, where it wa supposed the fair lady the sympathetic power of music to bear upon most likely lay dreaming. It was an exquisite events, and in fact, to give her a serenade, "say moment, full of poetry and romance, but Mos an of a small brass band, or a distinguished pianist, Tndefined fear pervaded the bosom of Moses. or a quartet of voices !" There was an unearthly stillness reigning, and in Moses entered at once into it. "But," said he, addition to that, the odd idea had suddenly taken "I disapprove of the band, entirely. No woman persistenthbold of his mind, that there was a sick can ever be delicately affected by the sight of baby in the back part of the house, who not until six fat Germans, puffing and scraping under her then had been fairly quieted by its worn-out par- window. Never ! never !" said he with an em- ents, after a whole evening's efforts. phatic gesture. "And how arc you going to The house was a large whiteone with green arrange a serenade with a piano !" blinds, standing at the junction of two streets, "I thought we might back one up in a furni- and surrounded b a fine grove e of maple trees. ture-wagon in front of her window, replied Titp Now it so happened, that the fowls of this man. "It would be novel, and the pianist could neighborhood were of a race which, despite easily sit in the wagon and play upon it." a longr domestication and training by man, had "No," said Moses energetically. No pianist hereditarily cherished a love for nature, and much of any note would ever consent to such an ar- preferred such conveniences as she offered for rangement." their necessitiesktoo those constructed by the "4Well, but how are we to get the quartet ." 1andiwork.of man. Thus, a noble band of tur- asked Titman in a faltering voice. keys was at that very moment, in the midst of " To be sure, that is a point," replied -Moses, those very trees, undergoing a recuperation of reflecting very prudently for his friend upon the physical power after a long summer day of laces- well-known exorbitance of professional singers. sant darting at and pecking of insects, involving The entrance of some one interrupted the inter- the usual nervous exhaustion resulting from the esting conference. It was that enthusiastic fire- frequent fights incident thereto. Startled from boy, Mr. Barnard, to whom they at once confided the depth of slumber at that dead hour of the the affair. He was delighted, and dissipated their nght, by unexpected, a, w a ,unearthly hesitation by instantly settling the difficulties, sounds, it was natural that uad te veryouirt bar, "'Common thing. We don't want any operatic the responsible gobber sholdgive ou pon singing. You both can sing. So can I. There the air,. long and loud, a cry of apprehension.- is a fellow down at Five's house, who's a first-rate Equally natural was it, for the entire band, once MR. WINKFIELD. I aroused, to keep up, as the strains continued, an unceasing inquiry or anguished criticism there- upon. A novel emendation was thus made of the usually charming nocturn, selected for open- ing the occasion, in some such manner as the following: Ort In the stilly night, (Gobble, gobble, gabble,) When slumber's chains have bound me, (Gaobble gobb, gobble gobb, gobble,) etc." The musicians were overpowered with emotion, and their voices quavered. The efforts of such as were naturally less concerned in the ultimate success of the mission, were suffused with a dis- position of laughter; but deep irritation was plainly observable in'the manner of Mr. Wink- field, as well as Mr. Titman's, the latter having but then fairly started in convulsively tossing his instrument in the air, after the approved fashion of supplying it wi wind. -Besides this, the prompt efforts of Mr. Barnard to dislodge the disagreeable fowls, though praiseworthy, seemed but to hasten the undertaking to an ignominious failure. In addition to the cry of the birds, the frequent passage of brickbats and other missiles through the thick foliage of the trees and their heavy fall upon the ground or the roof of the mansion, while they failed to expel the birds, obliterated what other emotions may have been aroused in the bosoms of the half-awakened occu- pants of the dwelling, by the powerful one of fear. "Hallo !" cried a voice from a chamber. "Who are you ? What the d-1 are you doing"j there ?" "'Stop!" said Mr. Winkfield to his companions. "Wait a moment! Hey ?" replied he, rather faintly to the alprupt inquiries of the person in theI chamber. " D-n you, I'll be at you presently " said that individual. "I think we had better go quietly off," here whispered Mr. Titman nervously, beforee they find us out. We can try it again some other night. I think we had better go." I know you, you scoundrels !" again exclaim- ed the now thoroughly aroused gentleman, his theory being confirmed by the -general failure to reply. "Leave those turkeys! Drop'em, I say l" "Really, really, I believe they think we have come here to steal their turkeys I" said Mr. Titman. "IHe does, and it certainly demands an expla- nation," said our hero promptly, feeling that the honor of the party was thus awkwardly involved. "Sir! my dear sir, Mr. Williams," exclaimed he, bespeaking a hush around him, and advancing toward the window, " if you will permit me to--" He was about to proceed, when he observed that the excited gentleman had disappeared from the window. There was a scuffling noise in the chamber, as of a man in a slight difficulty with his pantaloons, and then an apparent rush through the hall to the rear. "Sam! Jim! Good God, thieves! The tur- keys !" were the next words that struck their startled sense, and these were immediately fol- lowed by a concert of two or three females in dis- tressf . . "This is no time for' parley E The whole vil- lage will be in an uproar, before we can satisfy him," -said our hero hastily.- " Good gracious, how unfortunate ! We had better get out of the difficulty by escaping at once" - I And with this philosophical solution, he and the two young fire-gentlemen at once followed the agitated Titman, who had left about ten seconds before, and rushed out of the garden. In the mean time the adventurous Barnard, who had slipped to the rear of the house to procure a pole for the wholesome purpose of keeping order in the unwelcome audience to their proposed concert, was detected by the two serving-men in the act of removing a rail from the barn-yard fence, and was atonce engaged in a sharp contest with these faithful domestics. With one sweep of his impromptu weapon he had knocked one of them into insensibility and a dungheap near by, and had already clenched with the second, when the vigil- ant friend, the retreating basso relieve, leaped the side fence in rescue, followed inespit dai corps by the tenor, just as the excited proprietor of the mansion, who had been somewhat delayed by the frantic embraces of his wife and daughters, tore around the corner in pursuit of Moses. The race between this gentleman and our hero was a short one. Such was the remarkable speed of the lat- ter, urged on by the thought of disgrace in his rear, which had been aroused by a dim idea of Barnard's operations, that he, no doubt, would have overtaken the panic-stricken Titman, and es- caped the excited proprietor, particularly as the latter made the mistake in his confusion of stop- ping to knock up the village doctor. But roost unfortunately, in the course of his flight, Moses came intoabrupt contact with an old lady, who had happened to come outof asick-room,where she was watching, to look up the sti-eet and see what was the matter. The unhappy female was scared into dreadful fits and insensibility, even if she were not so knocked by our hero's physicalmomentum. The candle which she held over her head flew half a dozen feet into the road. Moses stopped to pick it up. All consideration of personal disgrace or danger passed from his mind at the moment, and in his alarmed benevolence he turned to lift the rigid old lady from the ground, when the proprie. tor of the fowls came up. The parley was short. " Scoundrel !" said the proprietor. " Allow me, allow me to explain, Mr. Wil- liams," said our hero hastily. " You will soon see that such ungentlemanly epithets should not be idly-" "My name an't Williams !" "But you know him. He's stopping at your house, from the city." " Ie can't, you d-d rascal, and there's no such person about I You infernal rascal 1 Murder, thieves," said the other. "Good GodI what's this ? Poor old widow Simpson, murdered too !" With these words he made a blow at our hero, and at once attempted to seize him. Moses felt it to be his imperative duty to protect himself as best he could. He administered a successful tap upon the nose of his excited assailant, which seemed to paralyze the latter's intelligence, and then followed that up by punching him power, fullyand rapidly, two or three times, in the abdo- men. He was a stout, able-bodied, country geo- tleman. He stood for a moment gasping for the breath which was thus rudely expelled from his person, and then, slowly wavering, gradually sank upon the ground, which he watered with thec blood from his nose, at a short distance from tihe unfortunate old lady Moses then, in melancholy grandeur, stalked page: 76-77[View Page 76-77] 76 MR. WIN off to the ddpot, where, after some search, he found Mr. Titman secreted behind two barrels in a merchandise shed. We do not propose , to minutelv recount the ipanner in which Mr. Bar- nard and his friends escaped. We will merely state that they were accustomed to pugilistic en- counters, and that Mr. Barnard in accidentally visit- ing the hospital at Hartford six months after- ward, concluded it to be his duty to leave a con. siderable sum of money for the benefit of a con- valescing patient he saw there. Both he and his friends shortly joined Mr. Winkfield and Titman at the depot in high spirits. A night train was opportunely coming along, and the whole party were seated therein and on their way back, be- fore Mr. Titman had recovered from his palpita- tion, before Moses had time to reflect upon the doubtful termination of the night's adventure, or Mr. Barnard and friends to recollect the banquet which awaited them at the village tavern. The next 'morning's issue of the Rye Gazett contained a terrible and startling account of a general onslaught upon its quiet town by a band of English burglars from the city, seventeen it number, in which Moses had the dubious pleasure of reading that Squire Tompkins and two of hit men, were lying in a dangerous condition from wounds received at the hands of the ruffian des peradoes; that the widow Simpson's house ha been robbed from top to bottom, and the unhapp; proprietor herself frightened to death. The ac count was somewhat exaggerated, no doubt, bu it was enough to keep the aroused community o Rye in an excitement for weeks thereafter. -4..- CHAPTER XXXIV. MISS DE POMPENKOPS CONFIDES HER SOCIAL NEED TO MR. TOPLADY, WHICH ACT OF FRIENDS) RESULTS IN A VERY IMPULSIVE PROCEEDING UPO HIS PART. MR. ToPLADY had vigorously kept up his siege to Miss De Pompenkops's affections, and by n merous interviews with her, had reason to thin he had materially advanced his positio Though from her characteristic delicacy be sa no prospect of conquest, unaided, he still f that his intimacy with her would now warra the intervention of some common friend. F this purpose he delicately intimated to h nephew, his desire of securing at some future p riod that of Miss Wagbull. In the mean time mania for secretaries and readers had becor prevalent in fashionable circles, and MissI Pompenkops, under the influence of the diste per, had applied to Miss Wagbull for her advi upon the best method of procuring a reliable or We give the reader the following conversati which took place in Miss De Pompenkops's p lor one afternoon between that lady and Mr. T lady, as a natural consequence of this state of fairs, and as furthermore illustrating the progrc of the latter's suit, which made therein an- vance, undoubtedly unexpected to all parties. " Mr. Toplady, Miss Wagbull and I were c~ versing to-day about a matter of interest to m said Miss De P'ompenkops, after a few momen conversation. " Ah I'" said Mr. Toplady, on the qui vi [KFIELD- (" The dear girl! Can she have already smoothed the way for something?") " And she alluded to the fact,'" continued Miss De Pompenkops, hesitating, '"that you, Mr. Top- lady, were especially fitted and would be willing to supply a great social need I have I" " Great heavens " exclaimed Mr. Toplady, with ill-concealed joy. "Yes, yes, my dear Miss De Pompenkops-pardon me if I now thus address you-Miss Wagbull has already been apprised of my-my willingness to supply that want! (Moses must have done it !)" "Then you think you can, without any trouble, fill the situation for me?" "Fill the situation? Try me, madam!" ex- claimed Mr. Toplady, mad with joy. "Command me at once as your slave, to-to-" "I thank you, Mr. Toplady, for this warm evi- dence of your friendship. In taking into con- sideration your knowledge of your fellow-men, e your experience in judging of character, and, above all your knowledge of Italians and the I Italian language which has been necessary in your business, she thought you were especially adapted e to gratify me." s " Knowledge of Italians !" exclaimed Mr. Top- 1 lady confusedly. - " Oh! yes. Mamma thinks I'd better have a d person who can read the Italian to me in my y mornmg hours." - " Ah she is right! Your respected mother it is quite right !" continued Mr. Toplady approving- of ly. "There will be no difficulty in me upon that, my dear-friend I" " I want a person of good education, of real refinement, Mr. Toplady ; of a tender, respectful regard for the amenities of society, a person pos- sessing a good disposition, one who has a critical taste in poetry, and is religiously disposed." DS "And in me, dear Miss De Pompenkops," cried 1P Mr. Toplady, rising in ardor; "in me, do you N as well as Miss Wagbull see one who can supply, you with all these virtues ?" "I do; and there is one more desideratum, ge Mr. Toplady, which I think I had better mention, u- before you accept my proposition, and that is, k that there will be no objection to sleeping in the n. servants' dormitory, and eating with the butler." w "Sleeping in the dormitory, and eating with elt the butler !" ejaculated Mr..Toplady aghast, and nt pausing in the gallant action he was contem- or plating. "I hope, ma'am, my dear Miss De Pom- is penkops, that you will not, meist upon that. Pe- Never! madam. Never can it be agreed to !" a "What ! do you think so? Then I will not me think of it. It is perhaps immaterial !" replied De the young lady. m- "Ah ! you are true to yourself in doing so," ice said Mr. Toplady with renewed ardor, taking her ne. hand. "And when in the course of events," on continued he tenderly, looking the young lady ar- in her eyes, "there shall be little prattlers about op- this household, would you, would you have any af- objection to-- , . ess "Prattlers, Mr. Toplady !' exclaimed the young ad- lady, faintly endeavoring to withdraw her hand. " Yes, children." , o- " Whose children, Mr. Toplady ?" asked the a,"' young lady in astonishment. .. ts' " Why,. ours to be sure ! But I see, I was foolish to mention the subject now, and as your ye. accepted faithful lover and proud husband, let MR. WINKFIELD. me on my knees, imprint a chaste kiss upon this fair hand," said Mr. Toplady hurriedly, and suit- ing the action to the word. "I live but in your eyes, the touch of your smile thrills my being !" With a short, hysterical shriek, the young lady drew back, gasped for articulated utterance, and then assuming a terrible attitude of dignity, motioned him away from her. "My dear-Miss De Pompenkops, I-" "Don't speak to me, sir I" "But gracious ! I--" . "If you have any sense of decency left, and do not wish me to cause you to be expelled by the servants, you will immediately leave my presence, sir !" "Good heavens! But my dear Miss De Pom- penkops, I meant no offense. I-" "How dare you, sir, have presumed to address me, sir, in the manner you did ?" "As for that, ma'am, my dear Miss De Pom- penkops, was not I warranted by your kind words in-" " Warranted! More insults? But leave me, sir. Leave me !" "(Devil ! what prudery! She is willing to have me as a husband, but is not willing to have me kiss her hand!) If you wish me to, Miss De Pompenkops, I will!" "I do, sir." "Very well, I will then obey your wishes !" "You may go with the assurance that I par- don your presumption, and that I at least shall not think it due to either of us, to mention this scene to any one." " I thank you, madam," replied the exercised and bewildered Toplady. "But mayvI-may I- call again ?"y " Your own judgment must direct you in that, sir," replied the young lady coldly. "If you should think it best, you will, of course, be hon- orable enough to assure me by your conduct that I have been right in leaving it to you." With this terrible speech, the young lady] haughtily withdrew from the room, and the un- fortunate Toplady left her mansion in bewildered dejection. All h's old suspicion and antipathy to the sex came back upon him. " She is a proud, cold girl, or else she is dreadfully delicate, or else she was thinking too much of her money, or else she loves some one else ! That confound- ed Beekman! No, no, it can not be, it's me. She told me so in as many words, by heaven ! What does it mean? I wonder if it is always the way with 'em in such cases! I ought to have gone on-I ought to have gone on-and kissed her !" CHAPTER XXXV. MOSES' GOES ON A DELICATE MiSSION FOR MR. TITMAN, INTO THE GREAT STATE OF NEW-JERSEY. THE proverb that "faint heart ne'er won fair lady," refers ~to the superhuman energy which men are required to exert, when ladies arc of that kind, who can not be easily deluded into the be- lief that the lover is the most perfect of earthly beings, or when their parents or other "surround- log circumstances," render it impossible for them to have any definite estimate of their lover's character at all. Either of these alternatives may have been the case of Mr. Titman, but whether the one or the other was the obstacle he saw before him, Ie did not falter in his pas- sionate ardor. Thus it was but a few days after the unsatisfactory termination of his musical es- say he disclosed to Moses, that he had been oc- cupying his spare moments in reconnoitering the situation of his inamorata and her family, through the means of confidential agents in the shape of small boys and grocery-men, resulting in the in- formation that the young lady's visit to Rye had been already concluded, ere the attempted musi- cal offering, but that she had now permanently departed with the remainder of her family in its annual retreat, to their own country place in the delightful confines of Newark, New-Jersey. From the reports laid before him by his scouts, he had inferred that the severity of the stern parent's care over his daughter's social relations, was undoubtedly chronic in its nature, and that much difficulty might be naturally apprehended from the prosecution of his proposed suit. For this reason he again sought the wise counsel and practical aid of Mr. Winkfield in the matter, and by a mixture of timidity and ardor increasing Moses's sympathy and admiration, at once secured both. "You think that Miss Williams is perfectly assured of the depth of your sentiments toward her ?" inquired Moses with habitual prudence. "Ye-es, yes," replied Mr. Titman, who was well assured of it himself, if she was not. "And you say you were enabled to follow them to Newark?" continued Moses still in inves- tigation. "Yes, and I found out from the parcel ex- pressman, just where they live in Bloomington. The house is as secluded as a convent. I am confident she is cruelly treated. No one there, and she is shut up like a nun." ' " I hope not," replied our hero. "But we are authorized to do something, and as it is impossi- ble for you to see her at present without difficulty, the first step seems to be a note from you, asking her permission to continue your friendship with her, to secretly counteract such unjust rigor." " A note ! what is the good of that? It would fall into the hands of her father, who would treat her with more severity than ever !" "No, I will see her personally." "You !" exclaimed Titman, who seemed mo mentarily doubtful whether Moses might not pos- sibly be trying to become principal instead of sec- ond in the matter. " Yes, I will place the note in her hands my- self," continued Moses generously. " But I didn't think of writing to her just yet !" " What! You are serious, are you not ?" asked Moses sternly. "Oh! yes. Yes," exclaimed Mr. Titman, who felt authorized to be positive on this point. "Then you can't begin too soon. No man ever yet successfully wooed a woman without being obliged to spend a great deal of time in writing to her. They demand it. Because it is etiquette, I suppose. And under the circum- stances of her parent's opposition, it is absolute- ly necessary, as a voucher for the sincerity of the future surreptitious and underhanded measures which it is highly probable you will have to take." page: 78-79[View Page 78-79] MR. WINKFIELD. "Very well then,' faltered Mr. Titman. pation of sleeping on barrels or boxes on thel 4"There certainly will be no harm in it, will sunny side of the streets. there ?" "Easy place for laboring men tolive in, eb, "Harm! took here, Titman," again exclaim- Hezekiah ?" said he to his ancient driver. ed Moses. "You are sure you are not attempt- "Yes, indeed, sar. But not nyear so much ing to grossly deceive this young lady ? To idly as in de old Reblushon times,- when slavery trifle once more with-" wasn't 'bolished hyar, Master, I spec !" " Oh ! no ! never !" replied Mr. Titman, who felt " How? Do you believe that can be so, Heze- assured of his own earnestness, if of nothing else kiah ?" asked Moses. in the matter. "'Deed, I do, massa. All wes cullerd folks " Then write the note; and as the only danger wants it back, too." . to be foreseen from it lies in the possibility of its "By heaven! such is the political demoraliza- falling into the hands of her unjust parent, I will tion of this unhappy State, that even the negroes see that it does not, by heaven, by carrying it themselves are in favor of slavery!" thought myself !" continued Moses in energetic friendship. Moses. "But hadn't I better wait and deliver it to her "Fine times, dem Reblushon tines was, Nar. myself, at some future opportunity ?" said Mr. Fit well- de Newarkers, sar I" continued the Titman, still apparently feeling the importance of darkey. the step he was about to take. "Yes! they did, I believe. They were quite " Ridiculous ! Who ever heard of a man, patriotic, I think." . carrying his own letters to another ? It is a fine " ies! on de- side of de 3ritishers. Yah day and only eleven o'clock, and I will go over Yah !" this very day with it."., As Moses did not reply to this, a silence ensued " But hadn't you better take Brunswick or some and they drove on. They soon reached the place one else with you ?" again repeated Mr. Titman of alighting, laid down upon an impromptu chart in growing excitement. "In case of any difficul- which had been drawn from his memory by Mr. ty, you know." Titman. It was a small country-store, keptkby a "Difficulty! What difficulty? No, I can find woman, and adjacent to a small school-house. out the means of its safe delivery better by my- Moses dismissed the vehicle, and under the pre. self. Ahd if I don't succeed to-day, I can go to- tense of prospecting the neighboring residences morrow. You shall succeed, my dear boy," re- and villas, with a view to purchase, spent some plied the generous Moses. time with the apple-womari in gathering informa- Mr. Titman shut himself up in the bed- tion. Mr. Titman's statements were partially chamber, for the composition of the epistle, and corroborated. "No visitors were stopping at Mr, presently returned with it delicately sealed and Williams's villa yet," but she believed, " the ladies scented. Moses called Brunswick, and informing were expecting some during the season. Mr. him that he had an engagement for the day iu Van Voartese's was half a miled down the road, Jersey, gave him his liberty. and Mr. Williams was a miled or more! Didn't " Thank you, sir," replied the domestic. "But hearn tell of its being to sell. There was a good are you going to Jersey, sir. Rather dangerous, big garding about for ladies to ramble in, and sir. They hate the Americans so. They and the children to hollow, and yellow. Miss Williams Coney Islanders !" frequently rambulled into it, and sot down into " They hate citizens of other localities ?" asked the arbor." . Moses in astonishment. "Are you a native of New Jersey, madam ?" "Yes, sir, and they dogglewhack'em whenever inquired Moses. they kin !" P' No, I'm from the State er Maine. Cow "They what ?" inquired both Moses and Mr. here to teach school, but I gin it up, as I couldn't Titman. "What do you mean by dogglewhack ?" get a livin' by it." " Why, invite 'em into bar-rooms, and then Here as she commenced to inflict punishment leave 'em to pay for the drinks" - upon her small boy, the penalty of soiled habili- " Very well. You may leave," said Mosem, ap- ments, causing a sound somewhat similar to the parently satisfied with this explanation. intermittent noise of a paddle-wheel of a* steam-. He arrived safely in the noon train at the boat, Moses left her. Newark depot, and awaited there until the pas- He sauntered along from the store in his sengers had disappeared. - The ticket-master and feigned tour of inspection toward the immediate a suspicious dirty-faced gentleman, smoking a neighborhood of the Williams retreat. The sun clay pipe, were the only white persons who re- had already sunk behind the hills, the wind was mained, and the colored population was represent- blowing gently, and the robins along the shaded ed by an old snuff-taking darkey standing in the road were singing their loudest. He felt a plea- sun, awaiting the arrival of the passengers and sant emotion in observing that this beautiful the expected sneeze. This latter possessed an country was gradually being rescued from the odd-looking, ancient vehicle, evidently accus- barbarous natives, by the influx of enlightenment tomed to the wants of suburban visitors. Moses and civilization from other climes, and-mentally at once hired it, and proceeded toward that dis- expressed the conviction that the time would ulti- taut precinct of the town known to the old in- mately come when its legislature would, no doubt, habitants as Higgins's farm, and to the more re- consent to the great amendments of the Federal cent ones as Bloomington. He enjoyed the ride constitution in favor of those principles. By the through the town very muck, the passing view of time he had arrived at the corner-post, marking the public buildings, and the peculiarly lovely the dominions of Mr. Williams, the first gentle ladies, making their purchases in the various mixture of light -and darkness ruled the scene, stores, and the immense number of indolent ne- and every thing seemed propitious to his debut as5 groes, everywhere engaged in the laudable becu- an amateur postman. The house and grounds MR. WINKFIELD. were situated upon a corner made by the road and a lane, and surrounded by a lofty fence of ornamental pickets. A large number of fruit- trees graced the grounds, and in the middle, a grape arbor suggested the spot, to which the young lady was accustomed to repair, at just such a sentimental hour, to speculate upon the chances of escaping to some watering-place dur- ing the season, or of persuading her father to re- lax his eccentric parental vigilance, in reference to Mr. Titman and such other beaux as she might have. The families of the neighborhood had returned from their drives, and Mr. Williams and his were then probably engaged in the sedate enjoyment of their tea. "I think I can see them at the table in the back-room," said' Moses, looking through the fence and intervening foliage from the secluded lane. " If she comes out into the arbor after tea, it wjll be an easy matter. I can quietly whisper to her, through the fence, from whom I come, and at once hand her the letter." As if to give assurance to his words, a young lady here appeared upon the piazza, accompanied by an elderly one, evidently her mother. " How unlucky ! Extremely ill-timed upon the part of the old lady. She is looking directly this way, too, and may take me for an improper char- acter, if she sees me," thought he, slipping be- hind a tree. Suddenly the old lady sneezed, and took her- self into the house, while her daughter appeared to settle upon the piazza, as if for the purpose of more permanently enjoying the fresh air and' pleasant scene. " Good! Now is my 'time. She is entirely alone. No one at the windows !" He hazarded attracting the attention of other members of the family ; but lie opened a side- gate near him and quietly walked in. Embold- ened by his success, lie took a few paces and gained a heavy box-bush, where lie again paused to reconnoitre. A gentleman emanated from the house, stopped a moment upon the piazza to sniff the fresh air, then descrying a hoe, lying upon the grass within ten feet of Moses's ambush, pro- ceeded to take the instrument, with a i itter, to- ward the stable. " Confound that John I Leaves every thing about. There's that side-gate unlocked, and wide open again for the cows to enter to-night 1" By a vigorous hop, Moses gained an adjoining bush, which he shortly exchanged-while the gentleman was engaged in locking the side-gate, the only facile means of egress-for the entrance of a wood-shed, adjoining the stable. Presently the gentleman approached thi very wood-shed with the hoe in his hand, and Moses fled further into a wash-house, the next in the chain of offices, and adjacent to the kitchen. Here he stood up as close as he could against the wall in a dark corner, with a slight perspiration upon his brow. "John! Here! Come here, John !" cried the gentleman, irritably from the wood-shed. A chair was quickly drawn back from a table in the kitchen at this summons, and a man there- from passed within two feet of Moses to obey it. To add to his growing uneasiness at his position, Moses listened for fifteen minutes subsequently to a terribly dreary exhortation and apology between the master and man at tme entrance of the wood-. shed, upon the subject of the hoe, gate, and other derelictions. It seems as though they never would have done, and had taken root at the door of the wood-house. "This is unfortunate !" reflected Moses. " The hope of succeeding this time appears vain. And gracious! it will be unpleasant to be caught here now I couldn't explain myself. As soon as they go, if they ever will, I'll quietly regain the yard, and edge round to the front-gate." Circumstances beyond his control immediately rendered this reflection apparently useless. A light was struck in the adjoining kitchen, and fell with particular illuminating power upon the very corner in which he stood, while a noise of chairs being drawn back from the supper-table therein, announced that the domestics had at last appeased the cravings of their appetites. A tall wicker clothes-hamper, half-filled with unwashed linen, stood near our hero. He could not attempt to leave the wash-house under the circumstances, and there was no place of concealment but in this. He therefore grabbed in agitation an arm- ful of clothes therefrom, mounted the adjacent wash-bench, and sliding ignominiously into the basket, at once covered himself with the clothes. That this was a timely measure no one can doubt. The wash-house was a favorite place of evening resort to the domestics. Its brick floor protected them from the damps of the night, and the even- ing wind, blowing through, rendered it especially agreeable to those seeking a safe effect thereof on the warm summer night. The apartment was, almost immediately after Moses's prompt conceal- ment, occupied by the cook and housemaid, who naturally preferred a pleasant rest there to the labor of removing the banquet, and of washing the dishes, which they had left to the scullion. They were presently joined by the returning coachman, and all three proceeded to enjoy them- selves after their manner, in the delights of con- versation and uncouth flirtation, apparently with the intention of prolonging the same for an hour or two at the very least. The house cat, following her habits also, entered likewise, and after a short tour of purring about the various occupants, with a leap proceeded to cosily settle herself in the identical clothes-basket in which our hero was secreted, and directly over his heatd. What were his sensations in this Fal- staffian retreat? In the garden, his foolings were alive with adventure. In the wood-shed, hc had bravely scorned the imminent chances of being consigned to a constable. His spirit in the cause of his friend, mounted high in the corner of the wash-house, and here, with an ample opportunity of reflecting upon the rectitude of that cause, it must have mounted still higher; but how lie wished they would goI It was not his moral na- ture which failed him, but his physical. His cramped position became unendurable, and lie had to move. As lie commenced to do so, the cat, alarmed from her doze, jumped up hastily, smelt about for a moment, and then with renewed assurance nestled once more in her position. A few moments elapsed. The excruciation of Mo. uses' posture culminated again, and he again was forced to relieve himself. The cat, with swelled tail and back, growled and spit in fright, and dashed maldly to the floor, between the talkative domestics. "Gracious me! What's the matter with the cat?" ctied the housemaid. " Here Jenny, puss, kit, kit I4 79 page: 80-81[View Page 80-81] 80 MR. WINKFIELD.. I "I do know! There's a rat or something' inf the basket, John," said the cook, as they allI paused at the evolutions of the animal.I " Do go and see," said the housemaid timidly. " Well, I will," was the answer of the man, A It was all over!1 There was no use in any at-I tempt by Moses to escape. The coachman held him firmly in the basket, until the excited females informed the head of the house, and in a few moments, stoutly secured, he was led into the library to await the arrival of the village con- stable, for whom a boy had been at once hastily dispatched to Bloomington Centre. The particu- lars of the subsequent proceedings in this affair were very disagreeable to our hero, but they must be related. He thought not of endeavoring to avoid a speedy consignment to the county jail upon the dreadful charge of burglary. No, he thought only of avoiding a betrayal of his friend's cause in an explanation. In the grandeur of his spirit, he resolved to say nothing at all about the sacred secret, and as he had little to say about any thing else, to rely for extrication upon a pro- pitious destiny and the chance of covertly appris- ing the young lady of his character as Titman's ambassador. She appeared in the library among the rest. But in vain did he endeavor to attract her notice, by contorting his expressive counten- ance'in silently fashioning the magic name of her lover., The more decided his efforts to make the syllables appear distinct upon his lips, the greater was the mingled astonishment, concern, and risi- bility of all the parties present. His gentlemanly bearing and intellectual features precluded the possibility of his being a professional house- breaker. Linked with his extraordinary grimaces and his remarkable reticence, they led to the very strong theory that he was drunk, and finally to the stronger one that he was insaine. " What did you want in the wash-house, my man ?" inquired the master of the house for the fiftieth time. "Come, speak up, feller, haven't ye got a tongue?" reiterated the constable, while the fe- males kept up the discordant chorus of "The dreadful creature! Poor young man! How I pity him! How wild he looks !" etc., etc. " TitmanI Mr. Titman! Miss Williams, can I have a few moments' conversation with you?" at last said the prisoner audibly to the young lady, unable to endure his pantomimic exercise any longer. "With me ?" ejaculated the young ladyin fear. "Why, what does he wish, papa? He speaks of a Mr. Titman. Who is Mr. Titman, papa?" "What!" roared Moses excitedly. "Do you, mean to say, Miss,. that you have not lately be- come acquainted, in New-York, with a young gentleman of small stature, who has expressed a decided preference for your society, and-" "I assure you, papa, I know no such person !" replied the young lady with a mixture of incre- dulity and curiosity. " Then you do not lfhow this handwriting!" continued Moses dildly, and succeeding in show- ing a corner of the note in his vest-pocket. The note was extracted. It was a copy of Byron's poem to Mary, and signed " Theodore the stranger." The contents were a proof to Moses, that he had been gros-hy deceived by Tit- man upon the degree of time latter's intimacy with the young lady, for that gentleman was con- fessing in the very signature, perhaps, that he was a stranger to her. To the constable, they were a proof that he was an adroit housebreaker, with a deliberated plan. To the rest, that he was crazy with disappointed love. A final consulta- tion was held, to assist in which a neighbor was called in, a member of the Jersey legislature, who suggested that our hero should be carried to the " New-Jersey State Asylum for Idiots and In- sane Persons," as it was felicitously situated but three miles therefrom, on the road to Paterson. And a most humane suggestion it was, too, for the gentleman himself, in company with many of the body to which he belonged had been there, and from personal experience of the treatment, knew it to be a very pleasant and mildly con- ducted institution. A compromise was at last made with the constable, who had proposed carrying him to the Newark jail, and by and with that functionary's agency and consent, our hero was carried for the night to the asylum, in the family carriage of Mr. Williams, with the prospect of a medical examination in the morn- ing, and, no doubt, a judicial one speedily there. after. He escaped from this institution, upon the morning of the second day of his incarceration, by knocking down the doctor and two of the keepers, and tearing energetically out of the back- gate. He arrived safely in New-York, but with what feelings ? His confidence in Titman was, we may say, entirely gone. He sought that dere- lict party, with the vague intention of seeking compensation for the suffering he had undergone, in his delusive cause, by personal satisfaction. Ip particular did he dwell in his vehement up- braiding, upon the powerful dose of jalap and the fourteen showe'-baths to which they had subjected him in his short stay in the asylum. The penitent Titman made a hasty confession of the true state of his relations with the young lady, which consisted simply, in his having picked up a handkerchief dropped by the young lady in the street, of having been eccentrically tendered fifty cents as a reward therefor by her mother accom- panying her, and of his infatuatedly watchig their progress home, and subsequent movements to Rye and other places. "And were you introduced to them by your friend the Boston painter ?" asked his inquisitor sternly. "No, no. He said he knew them, but be had to go away !" replied Mr. Titman in utter con- fusion. "And you never went to her house at all!" continued the inquisitor. " Ye-es. Yes. I went with his card. But I saw only Mr. Williams in the hall, and he was so savage at me, I had to tell him I was looking for some one else, and I came away. I couldn't stand him !" " And you did not mutually plight your troth in the entry ?" "N-o-o! No!" "Titman !" said Moses, passing sentence. "I consider you an impostor and a dangerous person to be about in society ! My reliance upon your stability of character, at least in such matters as these, is gone altogether. But for your sake and in consideration of my friendship for you, I con- sent not to divulge this matter to any one." " Thank you !" said the relieved Titman. "And I expect you will not," concluded Moses. CHAPTER XXXVI. JINKS LOMMEYDEW, THE NEOPHYTE OP SHILOH, AND HIS AMOUR. ON the morning of Mr Winkfield's Jersey excur- sion, Brunswick determined to devote his leisure to the discharge of a dutiful visit to his step. mother, and for that purpose at once repaired to her home in Summer Lane. It was a fine day, the air was balmy and the scene delightful there. Her house was a wooden one, situated in the rear of a large brick manufactory, with a little yard at the side and rear. Hollyhock bushes were grow. iig therein, and morning-glory vines climbed over the mansion and over a neatly white-washed hen- house near by, about which numerous fowls were stalking, or resting in the sand and shade. An ironing table with its utensils, removed from the house on account of the warm weather, was placed upon the brick pavement. At one of its ends was a plate of water-melon, handy to which and reclining upon a wooden bench, was a rather long colored young gentleman, with his wool done in pyramidal form on his head, an extreme- ly peaked nose and a very bright eye. 'He ap- peared to be dividing his attention between indo- lently feeling for the pieces of water-melon and ia smiling artfully upon a stout and comely col- ored damsel, engaged in the ironing. Brunswick walked in. The recumbent gentleman sat up and uttered a salutation, cavalierly acknowledg- ing which, Brunswick fell to partaking of the water-melon so largely, that much alarm appeared on the countenance of the other gentleman. "Well, and how's Mr. Winkfield ?" asked Mrs. ,hfs-ults "He's well!V' replied Brunswick sulkily, "and so is Mr. Toplady, and Mr. Titman, and Misses Wagbull, and all the folks I know !" Ah! Miss Wagbull! They live in a fine louse, Mr. Difficults. Noble merchant and a num of great attainment," said Mr. Jinks Lom- minydew, "a man of great attainment !" Yes," replied Brunswick. And I understand his daughter is a lady of superior loveliness and tact," continued Mr. Lon- medew. "She dresses beautiful. The last time I see her, she had onto her a rich brokid, cut bias, f You know, with three basque ends at the back, , insertion laid on straight, fluted spaces run acrosst, f aud frilled skirts, full width!" said the step. t mother, turning to Mr. Lommeydew. . Tie divinity student appeared to be fully con- f versant in such matters, and presently the con- i Scious glance of the sublime mysteries he shared with her and the rest of the sex, melted into one t Of loveBrunswick said nothing, and after av oinment's silence, made a cheerful effort. t "Well, I thought I'd come around and t ins how you're all getting on. Hflow's Shiloh, jinks V "All 9! whly do you stay away, my dear Diffi- -uts Why not walk in our paths, so many iters to guide you with their love and friend- -hp1 f "I don't think much onto religion conducted on them principles !" replied Brunswick shortly. "I am fearful that you care for social piety on no principles," said Mr. Lommeydew severely, for the purpose of impressing Mrs. Difficults. "We are skeered of your morril and ethical condition, and truly, Mr. Brunswick, let me warn you. Oh! come and suck in the spirit of truth and holiness from Shiloh's sacred desk." "I don't want to do no suckin-in," said Bruns- wick. " There's'enough humbug and suckin-in already in that ere church !" " Ah ! I was once regardless as you," continued the divinity student, alternately rolling his eyes from Brunswick to the lady. " I was once deep- ly atrocious as you. Like you, I did not notice my double-dyed villainy, my buffoon avarice, my boot-black profanity, my ethical and morril im- morality in eating and drinking-" Here Brunswick interrupted the student by in- forming him that he had such a cheerful confi- dence in his own physical powers, he thought he might be able to pitch him over the hen-house, and pleasantly offered to do it for the small sum of twenty mills or two cents, federal currency. "I meant no offense. I meant no offense," said the divinity student somewhat hastily. "And I disclaim contention at the moment !" "Look here! I don't want'no words with you ! No words at all!" replied Brunswick snorting. " I know you well enough, Jinks. I know'd you ever since you stole Mr. Harper's case of can oysters, when you was a boy, and cat yourseY into a bilious fever, and was found out I" "I pity you, as entirely witless and with lovi attempts at facetiousness !" replied the divinity student slightly touched. Brunswick immediately resumed his handsome offer at this, and his step-mother concluded that she had better interfere. After some further wrangling Brunswick filially consented to a tem- porary reconciliation for the sake of her feelings and rose to leave. "Oh! no. Stay to dinner, Brunswick," said the good-hearted woman. " I am sorry to see you so witless and melancholy-like, and I want you to become cheerful. Do!" Brunswick remained, occupied himself for some time in walking about the garden, examin- ing the hen-house and finally went up-stairs to enjoy a short slumber before dinner. As he passed through the parlor, he observed, hanging there, the much prized coroner's certificate of the disappearance of his father, which only added fuel to his desire to avenge that worthy parent. Instead of sleeping, he looked out of the window furtively, but to see a little love-passage going on below between his step-mother and her swain. The latter was pretending to know how to iron for her, and there was some little tender scuffling n the contest for the smoothing-iron. As the whole moral trouble of Brunswick would have been obviated by the extermination of the di- vinity student, and as he felt there was no par- icular harm in committing murder in inagina- ionghe now did so upon the obnoxious party in various ways, such as'by putting poison in water- meons, by making him read the congressional eposts, by dosing him with Conway's Consump ive cure, by inducing him to take 'a walk down Jacob street or a trip on a Jersey railroad, and mnally, observing'- a ten pound weigh t in tho MR. WINKFIELD. 1 81 page: 82-83[View Page 82-83] 82 MR. WINKFIELD. corner of his bed-room, among other business relics of his respected parent, he adjusted it with nice poiseover the vital part of the student re- cliningbelow, and speculated upon the pleasing consequences of permitting it to fall upon him. An half-hour was to intervene between the cessation of the ironing and the commencement of the process of getting dinner by the lady, and the prospect of the repast moved the divinity student again from his recumbent position. The language of the two lovers thus left together was different from the ordinary speech of unim- passioned mortality. They lived in another world. All nature was propitious. Around the shaded windows above the bench the morning- glories twined with the jasmine and the running rose. The rose was loaded with flowerets, and the darling morning-glories in sweet accord with the soft tranquillity of the scene lazily closed their tender cups over their delicate petals. Hushed was the scene. The gnats had retired to their coverts from their late incessant dance in the sun, and the stalwart chanticleer was re- clining, in the shade with wings outstretched. while the loved members of his seraglio nestled in the sand about him, or ever and anon pecked softly at various points of their persons. 'Twas noonday in the heated city 'twas noonday in the cool retreat! To persons of the lovers' race 'twas better than the twilight hour for the holy communion of feeling. "IAh ! Brunswick sleeps !" said the impassion. ed student, as a gentle noise of one sleeping was wafted to their ears from above. "Yes, yes," replied the lady tenderly, and -sitting down on the bench as she adjusted the lagt fold of the snowy linen upon the rude but useful ironing-table. The student bent his legs be -neath the bench. "In dim sluggishness, he sleeps with tranquil heart. 'Tis nice, and yet his is not such joy aE ours, dearest !" continued the suitor. "4No, it an't !" replied the lady. "Ah ! I knew one from my earliest childhood amid my infant sports and difficulties of youth if not really, yet in my visions; and now may i not be the hope of a glorious manhood that she that bright apparition, may henceforth be m, prop and stay ? Amid joy and woe, rain and sun shine, may it not ever be thug, 0 dearest ?" He took her unreluctant hand in his, and hi gaze followed hers, to linger with unutterabi thought upon the distant hen-house. The ba ance between the probable cost of being h prop and stay and the annual yield from tli home of the feathered tribe, with other specie of the domestic revenue, may have been passing through her mind,and induced her to have r plied merely, "1Dearest sweet P" "Again she evades my oft-repeated question Great heaven ! does every breath influence her Does every weakness move ?" said the love kicking up the gravel in his impatience.. "lHist ! Hist 1" said the lady, as the stalwa chanticleer cried out a startled alarm at the d m onstration. "What ?"1 "The sleeper stirs. He will wake." "N.Silh es. YeadI wretdh would woo in vain my downy couch,1p 1ould "r iWhat, saod whretched, so suddenktly 1 Yo I my Emerson? No no ! It may not I" replied the lady, who was apt im these scenes to catch something of her lover's impassioned manner. Such is the power of love. "Ah ! I faint. What meanest ?". " Pardon, love,,my hasty words. I knew not what I said, I-" "10 Emerson I have confidence into me. For to share your grief I would die ." The divinity student covered his face convul- sively with his hands. ,,I 'I can not speak it !" he cried hoarsely. "Let me divine! This agitation !Speak ." 'Tis well. 'Tis well. Soon called to Jersey as missionary, I-" "Don't, don't! You wrench me !" replied the, lady in her 'alarmed passion. "What! would you leave me? "And why not ?" he replied still hoarsely, "Any thing, every thing. Let destiny fill my lot! I willnot survive the loss ." "1What loss? What have you lost? Any thing valuable ?" cried the lady in sudden alarm. " Valu'ble ? Yes'm. Your love! You love me not. False one, have I suffered such misery to grow into my heart only to find that I was de- ceived ! That the woman for whom I could have chained that heart's blood could not withstand the frown of an irritated step-son and friends for my sake! Sink him I" cried he in his passion, as he made a convulsive leap into the air. The startled chanticleer fled to the bottom of the yard. All was soon silent again. The lover stood erect, with arms folded on- his breast in gloomy silence by her side-for one moment, nis face all worn and haggard, his dress disor- I dered, paler than the lady, who with" a faint - smile, -raising herself still more, held out her hand to him. l Gracious heaven ! he had tutored himself to s calmness, but this quite unmanned him. Springing forward he fell on his knees by her side, sobbing her name. , She bent over him, with tears fast falling on h bia bowed head. Her fair hanal was on his shoul- t der, and he threw his arms around her, speech- , less with great sorrow. y About three minutes elapsed. "Emerson I" she said at last, gasping, but still softly. ."It is so decreed, dearest. Be patience, so be patience. There is no shadow between wn e now, is there, dearest ? None, none. No suspi- 1. cioning, no jealousy, no doubt. But love such is as ours could only eist in heaven. What mat- ic ters life or death, as long as you know I love s thee ! And now the repast, the merid'nal re- g past 1" e "Ah !" replied the lover. He looked up at her eagerly. She seemed a pitying goddess, all n. tenderness and , benignity; only her mantling ? burning cheek showed her to be a woman of wilL r, She faltered in answer to his wild, eager lek A veal cutlet, some buttered squash, and-" rt The characteristic full stop, and, above al', le- the heaving bosom, the melting eye, and the suffused cheek were too much for the poor guile- less child of his appetite, as he was. Beaveni seemed to open on him. His burning kisses fell d,o s et Ihands that had rereved him I hapinss Nopmesistane u, She blushed higher, but smiled. His power. MR. WINKFIELD- 88 ful arm curled around her. She looked a little scared, but not much. He kissed.her sweet cheek. The blush spread to her very forehead at that, but no resistance. As the winged and rapid bird, if her feathers be but touched with a speck of bird-lime, loses all power of flight, so it seem- ed as if that kiss paralyzed her eel-like and eva- sive powers. Under it her whole supple frame seemed to yield as Emerson drew her closer and closer to him, till she bid her forehead and wet eyelashes on his shoulder and murmured "How could I let you be unhappiness ?" Neither spoke for a while. Each felt for theI other, and Emerson drank that ecstasy of silent delirious bliss which comes to great hearts about half-past eleven in the morning, if the dinner is at twelve. The banquet soon waited the descent of .the gloomy Brunswick. The student said grace with his fork quivering nervoiflsly in the air. They ate. After dinner, Brunswick entered into a game of seven-up with the divinity student, and having abused him for about half an hour in con- sequence of the double exasperation, -of the am- bitious attempt of that worthy to become his father and of an unsuccessful one of cheating at the game, he left for the ferry to await his mas- ter's return from abroad. CHAPTER XXXVII. MOSES GOES THROUGH ONE FIRE, WHICH PLEASES HIM TO SUcH AN EXTENT THAT HE IMMEDIATE- LY ATTENDS ANOTHER. A MEMBER OF THE NEW- YORK FIRE DEPARTMENT. SHonTLY after his return from New-Jersey, and in the course of a morning ramble Moses came across a glass globe in a bird shop, containing one large and short-tailed gold fish and three smaller ones, apparently infants of the first, as they too seemed gifted with brief latter ends, and possessed a similar facetious disposition. He took the globe to his home, and called Bruns- wick. "Bruhswick, take these fishes to Miss Wagbull. I will wait until you return." "1Yes, sir," said the servant, starting at once. - "And, Brunswick, you had better see Miss Wagbull yourself." "Yes, sir." "And you 'nayobserve, Brunswick, if she is. pleased with them." - "I will sir." "And Brunswick! Tell her that I thought she would like them, as-as I really fancied them myself." "IYes sir." "And, wait, Brunswick! On the whole, you needn't say any thing about it. Merely present them to her respectfully." "Very well, sir." " By the way, Brunswick! you may observe if she smiles, or if she is-is agitated in any way.'? "I will, sartain, sir !" "Brunswick ! one moment. have confidence in yo, in thi t, -h " " Oh I in minutest- particulars, sir." i i"Then you may go," said our hero, apparently Brunswick returned shortly, and made his re- port. "I presented the globe of fry to Miss Wagbull, sir, in her front-parlor, and they both said it was a tasteful selection, or similar words." " Both ? Was there any one else there, Bruns- wick ?" "Yes, sir; a young gentleman as had drop. ped in on a morning call, with a bouquet. She held it to the big fish to smel of, but with great care, with great care, sir '" " What was the gentleman's name, Bruns- wick ?"g "Horrit, or Horrid, sir." Moses said no more, but presently rose and retiring to the inner room for a few moments, philosophically threw about his hair-brush and pin-cusQhion to relieve some irrepressible feelings which hadnseized him. Toward afternoon, hap. opening accidentally in the neighborhood of Miss Waghull's house hie dropped in. Bessie thanked him heartily for the fishes. "Flora,-too, has favored me this morning," said sie. " See, Mr. Winkfield. Is not this a beautiful camellia? Mr. Hoyt, who brought it, is very fond of flowers." " It certainly is very beautiful!" replied Moses, inspecting the gorgeous flower. "See those dear little fishes. Mr. Hoyt says there has been lately a great difficulty experienced in cultivating the camellia." I have never seen one more perfect," continued Moses, with philosophic calm. "Yes, Mr. Hoyt said it took him over an hour to make a selection at Bird's." "What a tender, subdued tint," continued Moses, feigning enthusiasm. "Yes, and Mr. Hoyt says that not one in a -thousand are able to attain that peculiar color." S Quite true. It is exceedingly rare. I must say it is exceedingly rare," continued Moses, with soe symptoms o backsliding. (" I wish Hoyt would make his visits here 50o!") "Mr. Hoyt, you know," said Bgio, is -- "Certainly!" said Moses rather explosively. "Y ou are quite right in relying upon his taste. Ofcourse. Mr. Hoyt, Miss Wagbull, is a gentle- man of culture and refinement-(whom I have a strong desire to run through with a small-sword!") There had been tdring the conversation a cer. tam species of agitation in the young lady's tone. She did not seem aware that her remarks might be considered quite ordinary and at this point, though she continued them, she seemed struggling with her conscience about what she was doing. There was a young lady of Boston, with whom Miss Wagbul had preserved the constancy of friendship since leaving school, by the interchange of frequent letters and occasional visits. Of this young female mentor she was accustomed to seek for advice upon her wardrobe and other matters of feminine solicitude. Upon that of her admirers, she was wont to delicately elicit this advice through the circumlocution of philosophical and wire-wo- ven estimates of poetical or historical characters, whom she conceived to resemble them, with ro- mantic hypotheses of the influence of these beings uponher own character under varied circum- stances, and receiving emendations of the same by return post. After she became acquainted with Moses, Aristotle appeared in the letters, who soon gave place to Demosthenes, and he to the Prine of Conio, who in turn resigned in favor of Cyriac page: 84-85[View Page 84-85] 84 'MR. WINKFIELD. Skinner, and finally George Washington himself verted into a pyrotechnic shop for the approach- was forced to abdicate in favor of a 'compound ing Fourth of July. character of her own making, in which the virtues "Fine fellows!" said Moses enthusiastically to of philosophy, oratory, elegance, and friendship Titman, as they stood wedged together upon the - were combined with all other imaginable ones. curb-stone. "I understand some of the best citi- Having asked her friend how she would reconcile, zens are members of fire-companies. Besides in her intercourse with such a noble being, the fa- that, these companies are the true nurseries of miliarity of friendship with a just respect for his the military spirit of the country. The same dignity of character, .the acknowledged high- qualities necessary upon the field of battle are priestess of love wrote in reply that she had necessary here. The same organized discipline better dismiss both the familiarity of friendship and the patient abnegation of the individual in and the worship of respect from her conduct the patriotic devotion to the good of the whole, toward him, by making him jealous. Before a the nation or society. The praiseworthy efforts union can properly take place, it is absolutely of these fine fellows can not be. too much dwelt necessary, observed she. It purifies and strength- upon." ens love. It shows the suitor how -lofty, how Here the pipeman of an engine momentarily noble a thing his beloved's affection is, how in- turned his stream directly in Moses's face and dispensable to his peace of mind. It submits his then into Mr. Titman's waistcoat, either by acei- love to the ordeal of fire, from which it comes dent or with the praiseworthy effort of preventing out as pure gold, to gladden her future days with their taking fire. This event, and the customary unalloyed felicity. In the distraction of her tender- ridicule thereof of the surrounding parties, neces- ness, Bessie relied on authority, as every one else sarily occupied them for a few moments after- does in distraction. . She now essayed to obey its ward, and Moses's feelings were so aroused by dictates, and that the effect of her efforts were the remarks of his fellow-citizens thereon, as to rather heavy upon our hero will be presently cause him to impulsively designate the principal seen. humorist among them as a rascal. Thereupon " Alfred is very intelligent, do you not think he some unknown party from behind knocked his is?" proceeded she. 0 - hat over his eyes, while a third, viewing the "Oh ! very," replied Moses fervently. situation in his own peculiar and professional "And so congenial! When children, we were light, quietly went to work on his own account to school-mates together," Continued Bessie. " He pick Mr. Titman's pockets. The aforesaid gentle- seems like an old, old friend. Oh! ever so old !" man, whose character as a gentleman Moses had "Very well, I am glad to hear it," replied impulsively impugned, now requested the pleasure, Moses, in a secret rage against Hoyt, and re- of a personal combat with the latter, and the fire volviag plans to exterminate him. being a short one and over, the hosemen,who were "I do not know how I could bear the depriva- stationed near by, proposed that the engagement tion of his society. He is so good !" continued should take place at the " carriage-house, 20's, Bessie, cheerfully, where they would see fair." Moses, no doubt, "Yes. He is extremely affable," said Moses, would have thus been forced into a deliberate making another effort at magnanimity. pugilistic encounter, if his alarmed companion "I am so glad to see you appreciate him, Mr. had not opportunely descried at a short distance, Winkfield. You who read character so excellent- taking a fire-coat from a machine, that faithful ly. It makes me feel that I am truly favored by fireman and valuable friend, Mr. Barnard, and Providence with his friendship!" 'hastily brought him to the spot. After some "Without doubt t" exclaimed Moses, clutching further wrangling and an adroit avoidance of a the arm of the sofa. company row, through the efforts of that gentle- "And by returning it, I can show you I know man, Moses and Mr. Titman were enabled to leave how to- appreciate your judgment !" said Bessie, the scene with him. with cruel malignance. - "Those 20 boys, Jim, are a little too groggy "I thank you. I thank you for the honor," with their runners anyhow," said Mr. Barnard to replied Moses. a man accompanying them, a stunning, volcani- He rose and staggered, rushed to the hall, cally dressed individual, with a fire-shirt, thunder seized his hat, and in distraction sought the and lightning buttons and sulphur-colored, hell- street. fire pantaloons. He reached his chamber at the hotel, but there " Ya-as ! They ought to be lammed, and we he only longed for some excitement to distract his ought to do it for 'em soon," replied Jim, with a thoughts. The presence of Titman afforded him few expletives. " The time's almost come, and no relief. While in this restless state the fire- I'd like to spile that bully foreman of their'n." bells rang. Inviting Titman to follow him, he "Jinkeyman is a nasty little boy," replied Mr. again hastened into the street and toward the Barnard. district announced by the alarm. ' As they turned "I kin do it, the next time I feel a little mun- into an obscure street some blocks away, an ian- well," continued Jim, with more forcible exple- mense, shouting mass of people came moving tives applied to the party alluded to. -Here, in rapidly down it. They avoided the danger of be. apparently forced admiration, he feelingly re- ing upset, and converted by a very rude process ferred to some personal contest, in which the into -elly, only by increasing their speed to an latter had been recently engaged, and from which agonizing degree and keeping ahead of the throng he had come off with the victory and his oppo- until they reached the scene of the conflagration. nenat's nose in his possession. -There, after much unpleasant struggling, they oh- " His nose !" exclaimed Moses, at this state tained an opportunity of witnessing thme energy of ment. " You don't mean to say that-that such the firemen, in extinguishing thme fire, which had things are-",, broken out in a Dutch grocery, temporarily con- " What is the matter, young man ." ashc MR. WINKFIELD- 85 Barnard's colleague, for a moment eyeing Mo- your flipper and let them words slide," replied ses sternly. " He don't fight exactly square, the appeased fireman. but he's devoted to it. He cherishes a muss " And now tip us something in the whooping. more'n any fire-boy I know.". cough line, Jim," said Mr. Barnard, and pre- This way of nursing the military spirit of the sently the zealous member of the fire-depart- country met with Moses's decided disapproval, meant feigned to bee me afflicted with a severe and he continued: "Do they allow such infamous fit of that noisy disuer, and caused the air to encounters as the one you refer to, sir, to take resound with such admirable imitations of its place in the public buildings, the engine-houses spasmodic explosions, intermingled with infantile of the city ?" cries and alarmed exclamations of the imaginary "Young, man, it was into the back-yard; if mother, that several passers-by looked up at the that is what you want," replied the volcanic fire- windows of the houses and a doctor stopped his man in serious displeasure. "You don't find carriage in professional benevolence. no fault, do you, with this here event ?" After Moses and Titman and Barnard had sub- "The little irregularity referred to, Winkfield," sided in their complimentary expressions *of said Mr. Barnard, in a smoothing manner, "was pleasure at this exhibition, the latter, in ecstasy, merely incidental to the pugilistic enthusiasm of whispered to Moses that there wasn't a man in the parties. It is not always so, you know; and the city, on the stage or off, his equal for doing as to the fights, how can Americans become it, and that this thing, together with doing a sea- good fighters without 'em?" 'sick man without a palate, and singing the "Ah ! yes," said Moses; "viewing the mutila- "Ladies' Revenge," had endeared him tn the tion merely a5 an accident, or at the worst, as whole company to which he belonged. an emotional ebullition,-it may be passed over "By the way, suppose you and Titman come perhaps." round to the carriage-house with us and see the Here the accompanying fireman fell into a fellows. They've got the machine home by this lively demonstration of suddenly increased ir- time." ritation, swearing violently and throwing his Moses, having no doubt gained a sufficient coat and himself about in a very loose man- knowledge of the department for the time being, ner. , declined the proposed entertainment - where- "What's the matter, Jim ?" asked Mr. Barn, upon Mr. Barnard forcibly captured Mr. Titman ard,'while both Moses And Mr. Titman were lost and compelled his accompaniment to the engine- in trembling admiration of the extraordinarily house, no doubt with the generous purpose of florid style of the gentleman's language and his gratifying the taste for scrimmages, and of af- wild gesticulation. fording him an opportunity of displaying the per. "I don't want no names called," said the irri- sonal prowess, which Mr. Titman's narratives of tated fireman, " whether again me, or him, or apy his past experience ought certainly to have led member of the department." his friends to believe he possessed, and may havd "What names ? Who's been calling names ?" the intelligent Mr. Barnard. asked Barnard. " This here young man," said the fireman, turning to Moses. "Why, no, sir," objected Moses. "I beg pardon, but-" CHAPTER XXXVHL "Look here, young man, I don't 'want no jawin' about it. I want you to take back that THE FoRCE F cL~cUMSTANcEs, air sentence." THE unexpected prudery of Miss De Pompen- "I certainly will," replied Moses, to keep the kops so perturbed the spirit of Mr. Toplady that peace. "But, my friend, what sentence do you when the excitement of the novelty had passed refer to -" away, and nothing but the stern fact was left to "What sentence do I refer to? Why, 'that occupy him, that is, after he had slept upon it, he air about ''motional abolition ' We an't no felt forced to betake himself again to the water- d--d nigger-stealers, young man, nor more, nig- cure establishment in the country, to which he was ger-drivers, and we don't have no d-d niggers accustomed at critical periods of feeling to re- about, except to carry the target." pair. There he commenced again to drown his "Olh pshaw! Jim," explained Mr. Barnard, griefs in copious libations, to wash away his laughing. "He did not mean that ! You mis- petty annoyances with showers, dips, and sitzes took him, He meant the boys were sometimes coddling both his soul and body, while wrapt in too lively, that's all." the originality of his solitude and a nalf-dozen "Very well, he'll have no objection anyhow to wet-sheets. taking that air sentence back, will he? Young The water-cure was situated on a pleasant man, you don't have no objection to that ?" field in the pleasant town of nampleboro, and "Hear! hear !" cried Mr. Barnard. "As a had its quota of customary guests. There was member of no party, and unbiased in my opin- the enthusiastic old gentleman with the doughy ions upon the momentous question which is un- nose, the same being washed of its thirty years' expectedly brought before the honorable assem- ruibescence by'the hydropathic treatment to which hy, I suggest to the distinguished member of he owed "a miraculous restoration to health sir he opposition, a suitable modification, or at with the ability of climbing the adjacent nmoun- lst, reconstruction 'of his late able but unfor- tains daily, sir, without fatigue, and bringing taae remarks . . home an appetite demanding mountains of food." "Oh ! yes, I freely do so," said Moses, to Then there was his friend, who had been lately humor the gentleman. induced to come, and was just then believing "You are quite right, young man, and give us water, from its unusual taste, was the very best page: 86-87[View Page 86-87] 86 MR. WINKFIELD- wine he had ever tasted. Then there were others, suffering from-a reiiction of their enthu- siasm, and who took a gloomy view of life in general, and were disposed to believe that the doctor was an infernal scoundrel and humbug. There was the German gentleman who had been in the original establishment of Preissnitz, and could tell you all about it, and insisted upon doing it daily. There was a semi-divorced couple who had been separated from each other a half-dozen times from "nincompoopability of temper,!' as the Irish porter of the establishment expressed it, and who were now endeavoring to live under the same roof again; the one with rooms in the ex- tremeiiorth end, and the other considering a southern exposure highly necessary. There were several maiden ladies, permanent, residents, and a Jew who, at the period we speak of, was the cynosure and hero of the establishment, from the remarkable effect which the treatment was having upon his person. Ill-treated nature had taken this first opportunity, upon the re- moval of twenty-five years of dirt from the ex- terior of her Israelitish temple, to renovate the interior also. At the time we speak of, the un- fortunate Hebrew had three hundred and twenty boils upon his person, and what little vitality was left in the unfortunate man was kept there by his simple hope that several eminent proprietors of second-hand clothing-stores with whom he was acquainted would " write books!" Mr. Toplady lived rather retired, here as else- where. He took matutinal and evening bath and walks, read the papers and books during the day, and by whist and conversation with the ladies, managed to fill up the rest of his unoc- cupied hours. At the other end of the village, upon a goodly but somewhat' sequestered site; stood the Unitarian and principal house of wor- ship, to the rear of which was attached, the rec- tory. The church tower commanded a fne view, so one evening after tea, Mr. Toplady strolled thither, with innocence and meditation joined in soft assemblage in his mind, opened the church door and mounted to the belfry, to observe the prospect. By a coincidence, Mrs. Elwell, semi- divorced wife, had come there with the same in- tentions, together with the additional one of be- ing out of sight and hearing of her incompatible husband, and Mr. Toplady found her in that lofty and retired place. " Ah! quite a steeple-chase I've had, madam, ' said he gallantly. " But I really didn't expect to find such a belle here. He! he I an agreeable surprise, indeed V" "Yes, sir!" replied the lady, recognizing tht courtesy, and endeavoring to out-do the masterly wit of the effort. "But though one may hav( lofty ideas here, Mr. Toplady, I am sure it was no necessary for you to come here to procure them.' " With such intoxicating flattery frbm youi lips, madam, I'm afraid that I should not requir )the altitude of my present position to get high he ! he !" ,continued Mr. Toplady promptly, an being pleased with his own brilliancy, immediately thought Mrs. Elwell a very charming woman. " A splendid sunset, Mr. Toplady. Look Look at that beautiful Magenta cloud on th right, just above the hill! " " Yes, *At summer eve, when heaven's aerial how - Spans with wie arch the glittering hills below, Why to yon mountain turn themuing eye, Whose sun-bright summit glitters in the sky, Why do those cliffs of shadowy tint appear f More sweet than all the smiling landscape near?'" asked Mr. Toplady, in poetical solemnity, though there were no cliffs and no bow to make the quotations exactly appropriate and the smiling landscape was chiefly represented by a man in an adjacent field milking a cow and grinning ex- pressively at the prospect of the close of his labors for the day. " Those are beautiful lines, Mr.'Toplady," re- plied the lady. "And I like them very much." "Thank you," said Mr. Toplady, receivmg the remark as a personal favor. "Campbell is my favorite poet. I am now enjoying, with unusual interest, the Pleasures of Hope." Here they both occupied themselves with the sunset, and made the usual patronizing remarks about it, as though it were the work of quite a meritorious artist. Then they looked in the east to see how the brush had been thrown there. Then their attention was attracted to the man, milking the cow in the field within view and to ,his occasioned expostulations of "So, ye bitch1" and "Dod rot ye !" addressed to the restive animal. And then they were called upon to observe two horses curveting playfully in a pasture further on, and Mr. Toplady spieda roost, with a dozen hens pushing each other and settling upon it, while the noble chanticleer, seatedin the centre, crowed another adieu to kind friends for -the night, or pecked his next neighbors, to reduce them to a proper state of obedient quiet. At last, proposing to leave, Mr. Toplady carefully handed the lady down. To their astonishment, they found the church-door by which they had entered closed and locked. In vain did Mr. Top- lady endeavor to open it, or the remaining one upon the other side of the vestibule. For at least twenty minutes, he futilely expended his efforts in attempting to force back the bolts with his pen-knife, to unscrew the lock, or to remove its fastening by violent application of muscular pow- er. He then entered the body of the church for the purpose of endeavoring to effect a deliverance by means of one of the windows. "Of course I can easily get out in that way," said he. A practical examination, however, revealed the disagreeable fact, that he was scarcely able, even by standing upon the pews, to reach the bottom t of the window, and had he been -able to lift the e Gothic sash, as there was a dreadfully high base- ment beneath, he would not have felt like precip- e itating himself therefrom, without having pre- y viously made his will, which at that time would e have taken too much time. t "0 dear! how gloomy it is here, Mr. Toplady! I feel-really afraid. It is so dark !" said 'the r lady timidly, after this failure. e "Good gracious !" said Mr. Toplady, beginning , to perspire. "But suppose I accompany you d back to the cupola, as it is still light there ? It y will be more agreeable to you." . The lady timidly accepted the proposition, but upon reaching the belfry, was immediately driven e back with renewed agitation by the bats. " How stupid of these people ! I suppose soit' of them have locked the door for the night, with- out ever thinking there was any one in the bel- fry !" exclaimed Mr. Toplady, as they agai I I MR, WINKFIELD 87 reached the vestibule, after groping their way peared, he arose, and after a short and doubtful down and making numerous missteps, by which examination of his osseous constitution, proceed- his shins were severely abraded. Here he ceased ed to resuscitate the semi-insensible lady. rubbing his leg and taking hold again of the "I am not hurt-not hurt at all, madam. I door-handle, faintly shook it. Then he stopped find that the window is out of the question-out of and looked idiotically at it. the question altogether; and allow me to observe " I am-afraid to-to halloo, madam, as I in addition, madam, that if I meet hereafter with don't know who might be attracted to us. It the infamous architect who planned it and its might be some thoughtless person who would fellows, I will thrash him within an inch of his compromise your-your-and my-O gracious ! life, I will, by heaven !" This is really unfortunate. Besides that, there is "Oh !. I am so glad to hear your voice again no one going by." Mr. Toplady; but what shall we do-what shall "0 dear! what is that ?" exclaimed the lady we do now ?" said the lady, their disagreeable posi- in sudden terror, grasping Mr. Toplady's arm tion striking her again with full force. convulsively. "I thought I saw something move "I do not know, madam," replied Mr. Toplady by the staircase. Oh !" very curtly, under the influence of growing irrita- " Heavens! madam, don't be alarmed. There tion. is nothing here, I assure you. Compose yourself. Here the footsteps of some one passing by on It is only a little disagreeable for the moment. I'll the road was plainly to be heard. soon effect an exit, by some means, and the moon " Hist ! I hear some one. I'll attract his at- will make it light presently." tention. It is the only thing that can be done. " Oh ! I am so frightened, I shall die !" I say, my nan !" said the hesitating Toplady in a "I beg of you don't! And suppose you sit very faint voice. down in one of the pews, while I-while I-try His invocation was unheard. The opportunity the door again. If I don't succeed this time," was lost and for the next half-hour there was a muttered Mr. Toplady feverishly, "I'l halloo ! or most provoking absence of passers-by, or of any jump from one of the windows, and care not sounds that would indicate the presence of living what the consequences be. I will, by heaven" beings in the neighborhood, though once or twice He tried the doors again with the same want they imagined they heard through the thick rear of success. Fatigued with his efforts, he sought wallof the edifice the deadened sounds of persons a pew with his companion and conversed for a moving in the adjacent rectory. few moments in gloomy despondency. , Despera- " Gracious! why didn't I think of it before ?" tion was stealing upon him. "Madam!" said he exclaimed Mr. Toplady suddenly, and rising en- solemnly, " I will now proceed to the gallery. thusiastically. " The private entrance leading The windows are so constructed that I may be into the parsonage from the church ! There must able to lower myself therefrom t the silL. I Van be one. Yes, I think I remember it." thus, perhaps, open one of the sashes. Succeed- He was correct. .He found its door and it was ing in this, I will proceed to squeeze myself unlocked too. He opened it. It led into a dirk through, and then jump from the window on the passage. But as he entered it, the old difficulty outside. I may, perhaps, be-be injured-possi- suggested itself to his mind in greater force than bly for life. But it must be done.- Good-by, ever. Could he accost any one now and in such madam!" a peculiar manner, without the possibility of "For heaven's sake - 0 Mr. Toplady! do placing the lady in a very unpleasant light ? No. not-you will kill yourself and leave me alone in It was his duty still, to endeavor to effect an this dark place !" said the agitated lady, grasping egress without the aid or observation of any one. her companion again hysterically. The pastor of this church wasa transcendental "Calm yourself, madam. I can not feel that gentleman, whose. high abstractions had led him I am doing my duty, without at least seeing if I to an inclination to believe in spiritualism. The can open the-window. It will take but a moment, recent death of a beloved wife had perhaps con- and I assure you, my dear madam, I will not firmed him in that belief, and he endeavored to jump out without further permission from you." seek for his bereavement, through its means, some With this considerate promise, he felt his way consoling insight into futurity. to the gallery, and reaching the aperture of one of That very evening, -seated'in his study, he huad the windows, which ran through the gallery floor, been secretly working up his afflicted thoughts observed' that it was happily wide enough to by means of the centre-table ind semi-darkn ess admit the insertion of his person. He cautiously to the hallucination of inducing the departed lowered himself therein, but unexpectedly found spirit to appear, not in knocks alone, but visibly that the slanting sill afforded no footing whatever. to his frenzied eyesight. Ile held on by tle main strength of his arms for ".Appear !" conjured he in the hushed whisper two exhausting minutes, and then with the last of infatuated awe, and staring idiotically toward frantic appeal for aid to his fragile and terrified the church-door of the room. A form appeared companion, slid through with lightning-like rapid. at the door. It was Mr. Toplady's. The insane ity, into the body of the church below. He struck priest started convulsively forward. his chin violently against the gallery floor as he "As thou hast changed thy sex, change mine I" descended, and falling upon the seat of a pew be- cried he in his imbecility. neath, was precipitated head foremost against its The form disappeared; the wavering Toplady door. For a few moments all earthly sights and had fled back to the church upon being dis- sounds were shut out from his senses, and he so- covered. The clergyman recovered his wits. renely devoted his spirit to the heavenly study " Thieves," cried he, and he immediately locked of the numberless stars which appeared to him the door and gave the alarm to his household. during the period in the glorious imaginary firm- " We are discovered They'll be here pres- amnt. When these splendid orbs had disap- ently !" said Mr. Toplady convulsively to the lady page: 88-89[View Page 88-89] MR. WINKFIELD. whom he had reached. "Secrete yourself ! Let us secrete ourselves -in the belfry, and per- haps they will not find us. 0 dear, it is too late to attempt to confront any one now !" Mr. Toplady was quite correct. In a moment or so, the clergyman with a light, his man with a pitch-fork, and his two -servant girls with fire- shovel and/ tongs, came rapidly into the church. "The sermons, goblets and Bible are safe! They've escaped, but without their booty," said the clergyman hastily examining the, pulpit. The man ran to the front-door, and found it as he had left it, locked. "They are somewheres here now, by golly !" said he. "They must have come in here and hid till I locked it, and they haven't got out. The door's jest as I left it !" ' "Ring the bell 1 Ring the bell then, Orrin !" cried the clergyman. "We must have aid I" The bell pealed out upon the 'air, and the neighbors obeyed its summons, including many members of the principal fire-company of the vil- lage with axes, an old gentleman and his wife carrying a ladder, and the husband of the unfor- tunate lady in the church, with twenty-three inva- lids from the water-cure, bearing the leathern 'buckets of that institution. "Where is it ?" and "What is it?" were the various cries as the crowd tore into the church. The clergyman at once dissipated the prevailing impression, and amid increased excitement, a special search was instituted. The lady was ar- rested behind the belfry door in the gallery, and led below, but Mr. Toplady was gone. To her excited lord and the astonished crowd, she at once endeavored to explain her extraordinary po- sition by tremblingly recounting the facts, with her recent companion's share thereof left out. In the midst of this recital, and while the clergy- man was again ecstatically thrilling his being by reconciling the apparition he had seen with the belief in a supernatural transformation of his wife's spirit, a crash in the gallery was heard. In less than two minutes, Mr. Toplady was igno- miniously brought a captive to the vestibule by the clerical serving-man and two shop-keepers. From the belfry-tower, through mysterious and unfinished regions, he had miraculously crawled into the organ loft, and upon the top of'its noble instrument. There he had been disturbed by a sense of suffocation and-by-living things, An- noyed with two spiders in his left ear, he had at- tempted to change his position, and broken into the body of the organ. At his appearance the ill-balanced Mr. Elwell charged hostilely forward, but was restrained by his fellow-invalids. " Let me at him! I'll have his heart! I want his liver and tripe ! Let me go !" cried he in his rage. The lady went into hysterics, and Mr. Toplady into a wild protestation of his own innocence. His hurried attempts at explanation were of no use now. To quiet the frenzy of his antagonist, he was finally hustled from the scene through the rectory, while the husband was forcibly prevent- ed from following him. He was secreted by friends in an unknown place foi the night, and the next morning at early dawn left the village on a cattle-train. The explanations which the lady afterward made partially allayed tihe gossiping excitement which existed in the neighborhood, but failed, perhaps fortunately for her, to convince her sus- picious husband, and a final and permanent sepa. ration shortly took place between them. The only party who suffered to any degree from the event, was Mr. Toplady, and he, perhaps, more in feeling than reputation, for such an one as he ob- tained is exceedingly popular nowadays. CHAPTER XXXIX. MOSES CATCHES THE MANNERS LIVING AS THEY RISE. MosEs plunged in society, With Mr. Titman he visited Mrs. Jones D'Aubyn, wife of John Jones Dobbin, wholesale dealer in shivers, on a lovely reception-day. They found her gilded sa- loon crowded with the beau monde. "How amiable of you!" immediately exclaim- ed Miss D'Aubyn, a young lady recently finished by the celebrated Madame Des Minauderies, ad- dressing Moses, as he and Titman bowed. "C'est votre ami, c'est le mien / A! /quelle surprise!" "Mr. Titman esteems it a high honor, Miss D'Aubyn," replied Moses, " to be presented to you." " Al! quelle reconnaissance nous vous devons /" " Wee /" said Mr. Titan, as Moses left to pay his respects to Mrs. D'Aubyn. "And Jiow much Mr. Titman resemble au Comte Phoolanass C'est etonnant!/ Est-ce que ivous l'avez jamais vu, Umplishoo Titmong ?" P" Wee-/" said Mr. Titman. " Vraiment, et vous savez combien vous ees 1"4 meme ?" " Wee," said Mr. Titman. " Votre ami in'a dit, que vous m'avez vu a la promenade en carosse. Mais dit moi OC'est vrai, n'est ce pas, gue vous etesfiatteur et dejafati. gud de moi?" " Wee I" said Mr. Titman. "Eh bien, j'ai l'honneur de vous souhaiter le bonjour I" replied the young lady, at once majes- tically rising and leaving Mr. Titman to specu- late upon the cause 6f her abrupt departure. He presently paid his attention to a lady visi. tor near by. " I think I met you in Rome," said she to him graciously.* " Oy!no. I have never been there!" " Ahi I remember it was on the Rhine 1" con- tinued she, smiling. "No, I have never been abroad, madam !" "Will you have the kindness to excuse me from farther conversation, sir ?" "Certainly !" replied Mr. Titman, in some as- tonishment at observing her leaving him too. He immediately entered into conversation with another. "Do you belong to the Union or New- York Club, Mr. Titman ?" asked she. "To neither, madam. I belong to no club," replied Titman. "Sir, did I hear correctly ?" " Oh ! yes, ma'am." "Excuse me, friend wishes to speak with me upon the ot r side of the room. Good- morning, sir !"1 Hie presently joined another, after the manner of the other beauxe circulating about the room. "I congratulate' you upon your coming into MR. WINKFIELD. 88 your property, sir,0 said this lady, who was the anxious mother of three unmarried daughters. "I hear that you inherit a large estateI" " Oh! no. The rumor, if there possibly can be one about me, is quite incorrect," replied the modest Titman. "Then you are not in possession of a large estate ?" asked the anxious mother, who had in- vented this rapid method of finding out where large estates lay. "1I may say not, madam." "Then you will excuse me from asking you if my conversation does not seem disagreeable to you, for I know it really must be, and I will not trouble you longer." The unsuccessful Titman immediately essayed ic another quarter to start a conversation. " HaI ha! ha! ha l" said the vivacious belle, whom he saluted. " Ha! ha! ha! ha!" replied he. " Ha ! ha! ha !" continued she affably. "Ha! ha! ha " responded he with increased vigor. " Ha ! ha !" ejaculated she jocosely. " Ha ! ha!" acknowledged he gracefully. " Ha! a-hum V" concluded she. "I must now leave you." " Thank you!" murmured he sotto voce, and thereupon he rather hastily sought Moses, who was momentarily engaged with a Mr. St. Beauty, a peculiar exotic in the New-York parterre of fashion. " I say, Moses," said he, in rather disrespect- ful perplexity, "that old woman over there is disgusted because I don't belong toa club l" "Eccentrictties of the day, monsieur, You must humor them; only way to get along. You should join a club. I am on a good footing at four. Regularly club-footed, ha, ha !" interposed the accomplished exotic, displaying a remarkable knowledge of the English, even to its capacity for wit. "Like cooking, institution of my coun- try, sir. Won't do to be American here, mon- sieur, even to your boots. I brought a case with me from Paris; knew I couldn't stir a step in society without 'em! " This gentleman, Hippolyte Isador Georges de St. Beauty by name, whom Moses had frequently met before in the mansions of polite society, pro- fessed to be of noble French extraction, but of an exiled family, naturalized to the English soil. From his conversation it was well known in so- ciety that this anglicized Gaul was in some way attached to the secret service of the Foreign Of- fice in London, although he had frequently hint- ed that his real object was the restoration of the Bourbons to the throne of his native land., Mr. Titman was at once inspired with his good sense and liveliness, and when the three presently joined a charming group of ladies, successfully emulated the vivacious.diplomat's ease and con- sciousness of popularity. The conversation which ensued with these fair beings we hardly know to what to compare. The subjects which they seemed most fondly to dwell upon were certainly very proper ones, and such as need a thorough handling in society at the present day-novels, four-in-hand, preachers, dances, the opera, the theatre, paintings, frame- making, busts, and embroidery. And besIdes, ma- ny of them, even if the fair beings did not know much about them, were judiciously chosen, for 89 they showed what dancers, singers, painters, ac- tresses, varnishers, engravers, and embroiderers the coterie was composed of. Even upon areli- tecture, Mr. Titman had an opportunity of burst- ing forth in safety, and his quotation of the clo- quent Knoblesdorff's exordium about stereobatic caryatids, tryglyphs, mutules and antifixe was received with a flattering appreciation. To re- produce the various remarks elicited from these young ladies would be impossible, for they were like a compound of essences, so volatile in their nature and so exquisitely blended that they escape upon the first attempt to analyze them. Like silvery soap-suds which even while we gaze on them shift their hues and forms, dissolving into air and light and rainbow showers. Like the May mornings, flush with opening flowers and roseate dews and "charm of earliest birds," en- deavoring to catch the unsuspecting worm. Like the mountain streamlet, ever leaping and spark- ling in the sunshine, or rather like the very sun- shine itself, for so the genial glare of fashion touched into conspicuous originality even the vacant atmosphere it shone upon. There was here no mischievous use of the faculties. That of wit, the perilous possession of which subjects woman to the loss of that sweetness of disposi- tion, that delicacy of sentiment which is her ap- propriate grace, and without which every other quality loses its charm, it was quite evident had been very properly suppressed by astute school- teachers in the training of these young ladies. And if they displayed their judgment only upon frivolous subjects, it was certainly very fortu- nate, for with the ambitious disposition fostered by their education it might be decidedly danger- ous in more momentous matters. If their mem- ory was properly attuned to remember the faults of others and forget their own, is not this an enviable state to attain ? And if their imagina- tion was just brilliant enough to enable them to appreciate. the sensation novels of the day and to surround themselves with a halo of import- ance, could it be deemed poor or undirected ? Every body knows and feels that there must be some dominant vice, some ruling weakness prevailing in every human heart-and is not that of vanity, of a fondness for admiration, the most harmless of all ? Is it not ineradicable from the human breast? In the most primitive forms of society is not fondness for admiration just as strong as in the most civilized and refined? The savage belle is tickled with the beads and bits of glass around her neck and the rings in her nose, and the bosom of the civilized one natur- ally swells with .a conscious thrill as she ob- serves that the "adornment of her person is a mark of envy. And if it is thus ineradicable, and if it is one of the most powerful incentives to application and study, the teachers of the pres- ent day have certainly been right in making it the foundation of their system of education. And if the external accomplishments which they aim at are the most rapid and visible im acquire- ment, they have certainly been sensible in espe- cially directing their efforts to those. And we have no doubt Moses felt so. To be sure, he may have expected in the great prog- ress which civiization has made sice the world commenced, that woman should begin to wishl to be admired for something else besides her ex-. ternal accomplishments, her paraphernalia, and page: 90-91[View Page 90-91] 90 MR. WIN] her knowledge of the forms and ceremonials of society. He may have hardly wished to suppose that the very persons who feel themselves called upon, and indeed are generally considered as representing the elegance and refinement of a community, should be unaware of what real re- finement consists. He may have preferred to see those delicate young creatures, so lovely in per- son and engaging in manners, instead of sacri- ficing their hearts and minds to the sophisticat- ed, costly and vapid pleasures of fashion, adorn- ing the endearing situations of domestic life, multiplying its comforts by fulfilling its-duties, and in the exercise of every womanly virtue, an- imating retirement, and embellishing the charm- ing scenes of family delight. But if there was any thing cruel and inhuman in this~ system of education it could not be laid to the fashionable teachers of the day. Their humanity as well as their famed thoroughness might be seen in the charming naisveti of these young ladies, by which they appeared wholly unaware they were not in woman's true sphere; in the innocent uncon- sciousness that vulgarity itself may be clothed in external refinement, in the happy infatuation that men of sense are accustomed to look for their home companions in the resorts of vanity. We have therefore every reason to believe that Moses walked away quite satisfied with what he had seen and heard. Mr. St. Beauty was also eminently sensible in his criticisms thereon. "They are very original, very original, air.- Totally different from European society. The ladies here display more genius. They somehow succeed in being admired for their accomplish- ments, without having any." "Yes, they do not need even external ac- quirements to render them charming !" replied Moses chivalrously. "Very true, very true. Let me see-do you dine at Delmonico's ?" continued the diplomat carelessly. - " At the Evercroft," replied Moses. "I was about proceeding there for that purpose, and-.."' "Certainly. With pleasure," said the eccen- tric diplomat promptly. "Yes, woman is our great support, sir. -She at once charms us, sus- tains us, ad smooths our-" Here the lively attce h6 manifested a sudden desire to bolt across the street, which he man- aged, however, to repress, as one of the beings upon whom he had commenced his gallant en- comium, namely, a female with a basket upon her arm, rather abruptly appeared before him and addressed him. "I want you-to pay my bill. I've waited long enough for it " said she rather peremptorily. " My good woman, you---" "You needn't good-woman me. I've watched for you, and caught you at last," continued she, raising her voice. "I've done his washing for the last six months and haven't got a cent for it yet," said she, by way of explanation, at the ev- dent astonishment of the accompanying gentle- men. l1Very true. She is my washerwoman, but she is a little touched here," hastily whispered the diplomat to Moses and placing his handy sig- nificantly upon his forehead. "Insane,,sir{ in- sane ! I keep her out of charity. Aheifrisacre, my good woman, you--" "I want my 'bill settled, I tell you, and, I'll I' FIELD. have it now I" reiterated the woman rather fiercely. " Blast it, sacre, she'll create a scene. I must humor her," continued the diplomat to Moses. " My good woman, one moment. I hereby call upon these gentlemen to take notice that I for- mally adopt you as my daughter, and-" " I want my bill I" cried the woman with more force than ever. I "And-and I have already made my will in your favor, my good woman, sacreifenmme, and here are two dollars on account, and-Mr. Wink, field, you haven't a couple of dollars about you, have you ?" asked Mr. St. Beauty, feeling hur- riedly in his pockets, in pursuance of his hu- mane purpose of humoring the woman's singu- lar aberration. "Left all my small change at home. Foutre, nomndijew ,, " Certainly," said the affable Moses. The woman received the two dollars. Mr. St. Beauty further solemnly agreed to meet her at her lodgings with the rest- of the bill at ten o'clock precisely on the following morning, and still indulging her partially appeased hallucina- tion with indistinct mutters, the unhappy lunatic walked away, leaving Mr. Winkfield and Mr. Tit- man deeply excited with compassion for her un- fortunate condition. CHAPTER XL. THE FoURTH OF JULY. THE Fourth of July Moses felt, in common with his fellow-citizens, was a day especially worthy of their commemoration, though, perhaps, as an impartial philosopher, he would have said that the 12th of October, 1492, ought to have a share of the honor. It naturally follows that if there had not been.a discovery of America, there would not have been any American colonies, and if there had been no American colonies, there would not have been any Declaration of Indepen- dence. However, it is to be presumed, that on the morning of the anniversary he rose, infected with the general enthusiasm and ready to make the day an occasion for patriotic feats and expres- sions of national gratitude. Like a patriot of "76, he scorned further slumber, especially as he had been aroused therefrom before light by the noise of explosions--principally by boys who had lain awake for three nights previous speculating upon how early they should rise out the important day -and as at early dawn the incessant sounds of drums, and the tramping of horses, together with a long altercation, which took place directly under his window, rendered any further attempt at sleep entirely useless. He threw open his blinds, and the fresh morning breeze wooed his locks. Performing his ablutions and clothing himself, he then awaited with a pleasant perusal of the glorious constitution of the United States, the hour of breakfast. When that was finished, he sallied out in company with Mr. Titman to witness the military spectacle upon the Washing- ton Parade. After dodging runaway horses -and passing over frightful mines, which were explod- ing all along the route, enveloping them in smoke and causing Mr. Titman to make numerous con- vulsive leaps into the air, they reached that de- I MR. WIN lightful park in safety. It was filled with files of soldiers at ease, and with spectators of all ages and both sexes, pushing and squeezing each other in trying to become so. This is delightful. A very good spot to see the spectacle," said Moses, after they had with some difficulty selected a position on the principal avenue. "Only I don't like the way in which that boy near us is playing with his pistol. He will certainly injure himself." Simultaneously with these words the pistol went off and our hero received a very heavy wad and some powder therefrom ia the side of hie head. "Are you hurt ?" asked Titman in alarm. "Oh! no, not at all. But where is that reck- less little rascal?" " Oh! he has gone off, too," replied Titman. "Do you think he did it purposely ?" asked Moses, rubbing his temple. "I don't know," replied Titman. Well, if he did it purposely, I think I should follow him and thrash him-I think I should, indeed. Ah! there is Mr. Wagybull under that tree." "Yes; and there's Barnard in the military," added Titman. See Company B, Seventh Regi- meit"1 While they were making efforts at recognition by these friends, Mr. Titman jumped forward in a lively manner. His position interfering with the view of a party behind him, the latter had promptly stuck a pin into his leg to alter it. " He-stuck a pin into me!" said Titman. "I saw him!" " What do you mean by that ?" said Moses to the man angrily. A large crowd immediately .Surrounded them. " I didn't !" said the man. "Do you deny the outrage ?" said Moses in a loud voice. "My friend saw you!" .1I can't help that. I didn't stick a pin into him. It was a needle, boys !" said the man with' a grin to the crowd. At this information the latter laughed quite heartily, and a man with a bulldog and a breath fragrant with plantation-bitters, shoved against Moses in his ecstasy, and attempted to grind him against a tree. Our hero would bave undoubt- edly undertaken, in spite of circumstances, to avenge these gross aggravations upon the part of his fellow-citizens, if a masked battery had not here been let off near them with such dreadful power, that even the general turned- pale, although all his campaigns had been made on this field. The attention of the crowd was turned to the military, the review of which was now to take place. The regiments formed into a more perfect line on the avenue, while the general and his staff arranged their hair, and made other preparations for gal- lantly riding down before it. Presently the bands struck up "Hail to the Chief," and the general commenced to move. The crowd commenced a parallel movement, and, in the pressure, Moses, Mr. Titman, and Mr. Wagbull were shoved later- aity past the policemen and sentries. Unable to penetrate the human wall on either side and agi- tated by the threat of the guard, they promptly joined the staff of the commanding officer, and walked therein, three abreast, down the entire line. Though they were thus obliged to forego the intended gratification of witnessing the spec- tacle, they were enlivened with perhaps more ex- [KFIELD. 91 hilarating emotions; for under the impression that they were distinguished personages from a foreign nation, the crowd at all points greeted themi with huge cries of extollation, and after they had ex- tricated themselves at the end of the avenue, they were followed for many moments by a branch mob of considerable dimensions, contending with enthusiastic blows and vociferation, for the honor of shaking hands with them. As they were hastily leaving the park, perhaps from a fear of a repetition of this unexpected ovation, they fell in with Mr. Lampson, the historal scholar of the Archnological Society, with two little boys, neatly collared. "These are my sons, Thomas and Joseph, Mr. Winkfield," said he proudly. Papa's going to take us up to Fourteenth street now, to see the soldiers go by, and Tom and I have got five cents to spend I" said the youngest impressively. "You are a good little boy, and so is Toni," said Moses, feeling in his pocket, in which he mysteriously discovered a stale sandwich and several pieces of orange-peel. Here the worthy author of the forthcoming sensation on Simkinson launched forth into chap- ter twenty-seven of that work, beingm a minute expatiation upon the influence which that arch conspirator caine near exercising upon the world- renowned piece of history commemorated by the day, and affected thereby not to take notice of Moses's benignant addition to the boys' five cents. During this learned exposition, the infants entered into a little contest as to the disposition of the unexpected fortune they had come into. "Tom, let's buy a bunch of fire crackers, and some peanut candy!" said the younger. " No, Josie1" replied the other gravely. "We must buy something for mamma.- The gentleman expects us." ".But-ean't we have the fire-crackers1" said Josie disapp-i.tedly. "I want some so much, and so do you, Tommy, don't you ?" Perhaps we may-no, there's just enough to buy her a pair of gloves, don't you see, Josic ?" said Tom, making a great effort to appear serene. I'll buy one, and you buy the other!" Good! Crikey, Tommie, won't mamma laugh, when she finds 'em under her plate? We'll put 'em under her plate, and it will be such fun!" said Josie, enthused with the new idea, and thereupon they both indulged in youthful gyrations at the thought. What affection! I see you bring up these little fellows rightly, Mr. Lampson," exclaimed Moses, who had been voluntarily paying more attention to them than to the worthy scholar. "You teach them frugality and the glorious habit of self-denial." . "Yes," replied the scholar rather pompously. "I hold, sir, that they will thank nie for these habits of economy, especially when they grow up and come into possession of their property, sir." "But you will allow me, thing once, to break through your discipline ?" said Moses. " Certainly. Coming from you it will be qimte correct," replied the scholar affably. Whereupon Moses added another half-dollar for the fire- crackers, aiid after responding to the wvorthy scholar's renewed proffer of the hospitality of Westchester county, left the party to proceed with their frugal enjoyment of the day. page: 92-93[View Page 92-93] MR. WINKFIELD. As Mr. Wagbull here suggested to our hero and Mr. Titman, whether as a piece of republican satire or otherwise, that they might perhaps de- rive new and valuable ideas of the political inter- ests of the country, in attending a civic celebra- tion of the day by the Tammany Young Men's Democratic Association at the Cooper Institute, they proceeded to that place.- The regular chair- man of the association being hopelessly drunk, Judge Pootoops had been extemporaneously called upon to preside, and was already in the chair, nursing his grandeur, and with a manifest determination upon his countenance to sustain the party in this impressive hour to the best of his abilities. Moses was in time to hear his in- troductory remarks, which he applauded with friendly vociferation, though he would not exactly reicho the sentiments thereof, as the justice en- deavored to show that if all the patriots of the Revolution were not democrats, at least all the republicans of the present day were tories, The Declaration of Independence was then read. that is, our friends supposed it was that interesting document, though it might have been a short history of Jack the Giant-killer, or Dr. Brandreth's advertisement, for all the efforts to make him- self heard of the consumptive gentleman wht was intrusted with the performance. The great point of the day was now reached, the oration. A cel- ebrated and rotund statesman from Washington had been engaged, who proceeded at once to dis- play his "matchless eloquence, his profound lore, and the unconquerable love of his country, for which his patriotic youth, his congressional ex- perience of thirty years, his diplomatic services abroad of twenty years more, and the general studious occupations of the closet for a half a century, (making in all one hundred and twenty years,) so eminently possessed him of." It cer- tainly was a great effort, or, at least, would have been, if he had not been short-winded and incor- rigibly given to mixing his metaphors. He "grasped with his eyo the events of the Revolu- tion, and drank in with heavenly rapture the broad platform of its principles. The proud eagle of liberty laughed to scorn the despots of the old world, sifted the chaff of selfishness from the' wheat of patriotism in the hearts of our ancestors, and with one stern flap of his wings purging them of discord, produced the Declaration of In- dependence. On the volcano's brink, the patriots made hay as the sun of opportunity shone, and boldly seizing the bull by the horns, crammed the unpalatable morsel down the throats of the aghast tyrants. In the ma5lstrom of the conflict, they left no stone unturned, and strained every nerve in hot water, to eat the golden fruit of lib- erty," etc., etc. During this rhetorical confusion, Judge Pootoops had slipped out to refresh his presiding energy at a neighboring bar-room, and in his return, encountered Moses and party, "Fine oration, sir," said he to our hero. "Celebrated man. It was a great stroke for the' party in securing him. It .will have an effect upon the coming election. We give him a dinner after the meeting." "Ah! it is a pleasant thing to see the country grateful to one of its great men for his long ser- vices," replied Moses. "Yes," continued the judge. "Yes; we sell the tickets and will have money enough over to buy a hundred votes l" "To buy a hundred votes!" repeated Moses, in some confusion. - "Yes, sir. He is a great card, and truly a valuable statesman. His efforts have been un- tiring in adjusting the unhappy sectional differ- ences of our country, sir." "And he is justly honored for that !" said Moses warmly. " He was paid five thousand dollars by the South for one speech alone, sir, on the Kansas question," continued the judge impressively. "Ah !" ejaculated Moses, waning somewhat in his enthusiasm, and turning his attention to the assemblage. "You have a fine audience here, judge." " All democrats and members of. the club. We are the association, sir. The other club is nowhere-mere faction, sir. They threatened to turn out and interrupt the proceedings, but they haven't dared to show their heads. They claim to be the regular Young Men's Association, and are mad with despair and envy at our influ- ence in the party, sir. Most singular thing, I haven't seen one of 'em to-day," continued the judge, revealing a state of affairs within the party, which certainly called for the pacificating ability of the orator of the day. " Splendid thing, sir, the club principle; it consolidates the voting interest, sir, and directs it upon the right men." "Very true, very true, Mr. Justice," inter- posed Mr. Wagbull warmly. "It is the only true way of securing the blessings of popular suffrage, sir, of enlarging the boundaries of human civili- zation to comprehend the liberal views and en- lghtened policy of one of the most remarkable in- stances of liberty and enlightenment, which as a policy of-I may say-under the circumstances- which-" " Certainly," said Judge Pootoops, staring at, the speaker. "I beg pardon, Judge Pootoops, this is Mr. Wagbull, a gentleman who takes great interest in the political affairs of the city and exercises no small influence, I believe, therein,'Z said Moses. " Wagbull! I never heard of him before. Not a republican, I hope. But excuse me, gen- tlemen, I must leave you. You will stay, of course, and join in the procession. We move down to the Seminole House in Canal street, where we dine. By the way, here are three tickets to the banquet for you and your friends,", whispered the judge to Moses in a burst of gen- erosity. "Be on hand, and I'll see you get good places." - . Delighted with this friendship on the part of the judge, and with the prospect of hearing the speeches of the entertainment, Moses and Mr. Titman prevailed upon Mr. Wagbull to accept of one of the tickets, and they remained until the con- clusion of the exercises in the hall, which shortly took place. The association defiled into the street with the judge at its head. The edge of the procession was much taken off at the commence- ment by the premature marching off of the band, which reached the end of the block before it was apprised of its mistake. Though Judge Pootoops and the entire procession were obliged to run for some time in a very undignified manner~ to over- take it, they nevertheless ultimately recovered their ceremonious bearing, and in due grandeur the association reached the place of banqueting, 92 93 to which Moses and his friends speedily followed. The procession halted upon the pavement for a moment and then proceeded up the staircase. But it had but partially mounted the same, when a rumor ran down it and into the street which seemed to strike the entire 'association with ghastly and sickening feelings. Many members trembled, and for support sought the walls of the building; others convulsively threw up their arms in the air; others clutched their hair, while the majority pressed madly and recklessly up- stairs and into the banqueting-hall. "I can't help that, sar, it iseat !" said the ne- gro, caterer and proprietor of the hall, in agitated converse with Judge rootoops. "I-can't help who paid me for it. I got up the dinner all reg- lar, and the association has been here and eat it! Dat's all I knows about it 1" "But we are the association ! Don't you see us ?" shrieked the judge in the agony of doubt and despair, "and we have come to cat the din- ner you were paid to prepare for us !" " It isn't going' on morc'n half an hour since the Young Men's Dimmicrat 'Siety was here, and they cat every thin' up in no time and then left right off, every one of 'em !" said the colored ian determinedly. The unusual quiet, the mysterious non-appear- ance of the opposing faction in the presence of the association, to which the judge had referred at the Institute, was now only too well explained! By an adroit and consummate plan of vengeance, played upon the innocent ignorance of the colored men who had gotten up the dinner, the enemy had stolen into the camp, while the association was placidly listening to the eloquence of the Washington statesman, and quietly eaten up their proposed dinner ! "How was I for to come for to go to tell ? They came all regular in a procession, and had a small banner !" replied the colored caterer, en. deavoring to defend himself' against-the the out- cries and threatening gesticulations of the mad crowd which surrounded him. The unhappy members stared at the empty plates and at each other in petrifaction. "We's all tought it was a 'singler Fourth of July feed, sar," continued the caterer, beginning to be converted to the new theory of affairs. " They was not over twenty minutes about it, sar. There wasn't no toasts, no sayin' nothin' at all. They was kept silent by the head-man and seein' who should eat the fastest, and then they all suddently rushed out of the room and left." It would be in vain to attempt to describe the scenes which followed this astounding discovery. Blame was cast indiscriminately by the outraged members upon the negroes, Judge Pootoops, and each other, and under the influence of maddened disappointment, several animal-like fights en-- sued. The negroes were compelled to fly for safety from the disordered scene. Such mem. bers as were unable to postpone appeasing the cravings of hunger, dispersed to seek luncheons, arduous spirits, and consolation, in neighboring pot-houses, and although Judge Pootoops exerted his utmost to keep the association still intact and restore it to order, by intimating that prompt efforts to replace'the banquet might possibly be snccessfnl by evening, the dastardly trick was only too successful. The organization of the as- semblage was irrecoverably broken up for the I MR. WINKFIELD. day. Many of the dispersed members returned from their private excursions, but only-to hang in knots for the remainder of the day around the scene of disaster, and converse upon the ab- sorbing subject, and the majority broke up into bands, which might be met all over the city howling for vengeance, and hunting for the hid- den enemies until a late hour of the night. Moses and his friends betook themselves to the Evercroft to dine, and satisfied with the day's experience, -he forewent the fireworks and went early to bed. CHAPTER XLI. MOSES AND FRIENDS SET OUT FOR A WATERING- PLACE. IT has been said that there is one word in the vocabulary, more bitter, more direful in its import than all the rest. A distinguished writer has recommended to her readers, if poverty, if dis- grace, if bodily pain, even if slighted love be their unhappy fate, to kneel and bless heaven, for its beneficent influence, so long as they are not tortured with the anguish of-remorse. Miss Wagbull, for a whole day subsequent to her premeditated and abetted cruelty to Moses, suffered its terrible stings. In vain did she seek to allay its power over her distracted thoughts, in extorting from her maid, within the secret recesses of her boudoir, many compliments for her innocent victim. In vain did she bury her face in the pillows of her couch, when she re- tired. In vain did she rise early the next morn- ing and spend the whole forenoon in shopping. In vain did*she seek in the afternoon the con. solation afforded by the spiritual conversation of her pastor, Dr. Tinker. The evening came ana with it a spirited but touching note from the martyr. Seven more notes followed to and fro in rapid succession, explanatory, amatory, accusa- tory, vindicatory, exculpatory, and reconciliatory. The martyr himself then approached and the whole matter, including the entire correspondence was laboriously discussed, and we question which at the close was the happiest, the triumphant martyr or the repentant tyrant. The day succeeding that of the national jubilee, Moses received a letter from huis uncle, dated at the celebrated watering-place, Saratoga, containing the information that the writer had left Ilampleboro from its excessive dullness, and had proceeded directly to the Springs. It was agreed upon by Moses and Mr. Titman that nothing would be pleasanter for both than to comply with his desire to have them join him there. To their increased delight Mr. Barnard also determined to go, although they informed him of their plan but three hours before they left. He nevertheless met them on the steam- boat as fresh as a daisy, and as easy about his baggage a if he had not atrunk, threo fishing- rods, a short gun, a horse and saddle, and al Irish groom aboard. The noble Hudson was an object of great interest to our hero. From the deck of the boat he could easily see the magni- ficent-country seats along its banks, with tho people thereof lolling upon thq grass beneath the trees, or sailing in their pleasuire-boats upon the river. Every one he~ descried appeared to be page: 94-95[View Page 94-95] MR. WINKFIELD. 95 MR. WINKFIELD. replete with tranquil enjoyment, in particular, an old negro fishing on the end of' aprivate dock. Moses's feelings were in unison with the scene, and Titman, infected with a desire for practical Joking, by the presence of his friend Barnard, proposed passing himself off as an Italian count, and was only prevented therefrom, by the latter's suggestion that he might be possibly taken for a' Jw peddler. Music was also lendig its charms to the occasion from the cabin. All the country people who were aboard were taking turns at fingering a piano therein; a proceeding which seemed to be considered by them as a matter expected by the navigation company, and as a duty which they owed to themselves in ob- taining the proper equivalent for the-sum paid by them as passage money. Presently a weak- headed youth from the South, tries a song and breaks down from feeble memory of the words. He immediately proceeds to the coal-hole and practices the same there to the intense delight of tho ctl-heavers. While he is subsequently enter- ing into a conspiracy with a passenger to have the latter call vociferouslyfor it again, a young country gentleman on an ottoman in the corner feels that' the time is now come for him to lead his lady- companion to the instrument, where after much blusiing she consents to comply with his per- sistent requests to give him a "chune," and not only fills his being with ecstasy, and an ar- dent resolve to propose before they arrive "to homte," but apparently from the applause, affords infinite delight to the other passengers presetit: the selection from her repertoire being a chaste and unique arrangement of "Old Dog Tray," which derived a singular amount of expression from being executed the most of the time with one finger. Upon the spacious boat there were a great many tourists, fashionable and otherwise, includ- ing a lady with nine trunks, and the chatting was of the most agreeable kind. Moses overheard many diverting remarks upon society, the aris- tocracy, and the summer begira of its fair mem- bers. "Mrs. So-and-so goes to a small island this side of Cuba for her health, and Mrs Blatk goes to Europe 1" Which were no doubt well-au- thenticated pieces of information with some modifications. The "small island this side of Cuba," being Staten Island, and Mrs. Blank visiting Europe, by going to her father's, the old farmer in the country,-permitting the children to romp, and reading up about the other hemisphere from the guide-books. Moses and Mr. Titman attended supper below, while Mr. Barnard, who had partaken of quite a number of lunches, ere he started from the city, preferred an instructive conversation with the engineer of the boat. As the meal was unsatis- factory to them, from the confinement of the cabin, and from the hard breathing and danger- ous handling of his knife, by a country gentle- nian feeding near them, they returned to the deck after a hasty cup of tea, to continue their inspection of the delightful river, and enjoy the cooling breeze that fanned their brows. At a late hour the party retired, with the exception of Mr. Barnard, who did not go to bed at all, partly from the vivacity of ,his temperament. partly ft-om the nature of his habits, and partly from the soundness of his judgment, which prompted himn to take a hand at short whiist, in an airy saloon, with three commercial travelers, at ten cents a point, rather than to become a prey to unwholesome meditation and insects within a seven-by-four state-room.. About three in the morning, Mr. Titman in his night habiliments rushed from his apartment and sought repose for his exhausted nature upon a bench on the for- ward deck, just as Moses, who by the power of his philosophic habits, had at last overcome the various adversaries of sleep, fell into a gentle slumber. When the boat arrived at Troy, in the morning, Mr. Barnard, taking the lead, .reheved the minds of thirty-three hackmen as to their desire for knowledge of the party's destination, by wringing the nose of the largest, and followed by Moses and Mr. Titman, proceeded to the Coleman House for breakfast. Here they learn- ed that an accident obstructing the track, had occurred to the early morning train from Sara- toga, which would delay their departure three or four hours, and which had been caused by the eccentric desire of a Hibernian switchman on the previous evening to see if there really would be any damage resulting from his leaving his switch, and attending a shillalah party at the village pot-house. The experiment was evident- ly suessful, and the damage was exactly ascer- tained for him, one head being broken upon the engine, and thirty at the party. Moses, with Mr. Tittian seized the opportunity of the delay to mark the manners and dwellings of the Trojans, and Mr. Barnard to pay his respects to one of the principal engine companies of the city, composed of some of the best citizens of the place. These evidently had all the enthusiasm of provincial ad- mirers, for when he returned, his friends learned that upon being discovered in town, the company had gone so far as to assemble, and tender him an impromptu pugilistic contest with a canal-man in a lumber-yard. The fight occurred to the delight of all present, and undoubtedly to the great disappointment of many other of the pr-in cipal men of Troy, who staid away only from ignorance of the affair or from pressure of their engagements. In this encounter, Mr. Barnard had very humanely closed both eyes of his an- tagonist at the very first round, in order as he afterwards pleasantly expressed it,- that "he might not see what was going to happen to him," and in consequence of this, the contest had been rather short, but what it lacked from brevity, had been made up in brilliancy ; and amid much enthusiasm, he was further informed that a grand collation to take place that evening would wind up the impromptu festivities, if he and his friends would remain. Notwithstanding this pleasant offer, they left for Saratoga at' the appointed hour, after taking lunch twice, and settling their bill, wherein some little difficulty was experienced from the charges against Mr. Barnard, among the luxuries, for the practical jokes of kissing the chamber-maid and running a waiter into the cellar. CHAPTER XLII. AT THE SPRINGS. MR. PINKSITT, THE ARTIST, AGAIN. A PRETTY PIECE oF BUSINESS TO coM- MENCE WITH. UPON arriving at the Saratoga caravansary, the party found Mr. Toplady, who had already se- cured ample apartments for them, consisting of a spacious double-bedded room, nine feet square, in the hotel, and a nice suite at a pleasant cot- tage in the village, a quarter of a mile distant, with any objections to rain obviated by the nume- rous umbrellas in the possession of its affable proprietor. As Moses professed himself delight- ed with the idea of colonization, Mr. Barnard and Mr. Titman at once seized upon the double-bedded room, to give him an opportunity of realizing it, and after a proper installation and repose, all proceeded systematically to enjoy the life at the Springs. They rose early, attended with regu- larity the races of the tumbler-boys to the foun- tains, drank the waters therefrom, and after the customary sickness and the abolition of any traces of appetite lingering in their systems, inci- dent thereto, underwent the usual form of break- fasting. Mr. Barnard expended his forenoons in the billiard-room. Mr. Toplady passed much of his time with some old friends, accompanying the married ladies with due circumspection, while Moses and Mr. Titman, sauntered with, others in the park, or enjoyed the scene from the balcony. This became a favorite place for our hero, as a philosophic roost. He could survey therefrom the crowds of gayly-dressed pleasure- seekers seated near him or parading below, and speculate at case upon their various characteris- tics. There were ladies blooming in the radiant beauty of youth and health, with their attend- ant beaux, and some blooming by other means, who were attended by theirs. There were ladies dressed in simple attire, andothers in gorgeous re- splendence, including the fair owner of the nine trunks, the contents of some one of which, at the very least, she wore constantly upon her person. There were gouty old fathers and uncles, and dys- peptic elderly gentlemen playing with romping children. There were middle-aged ladies, who, from. their costume, might have been classed among the young ones if they had not dispelled the illusion by acting like little girls. There were heavy dowagers with rough voices and hairs on the nose, and slim ones with a tender solici- tude for their daughters' lungs, and a constant apprehension of their little boys being submerged in the fish-pond. And among these there was much mysterious gossip and match-making and undoing, and the kissing was so prevalent that Titman frequently became bewildered by it, and often lingered near the fair groups with unde. fined expectations. There were, whist parties in the parlors, and croquet parties in the park. There were people yawning from the effects of last night's ball, and others who were still very lively therefrom. And to distinguish them so- cially, there were the sudden mushrooms, who never knew the names of their grandfathers; and there were the representatives of the pure Ameri- can aristocracy, whose honest plebeian ancestors probably would not care-to know them could they return again upon earth; and there wasone person- age, who claimed to be a direct descendant of Attila the Scourge, and carried with him continual- ly a written genealogy to prove it, which was quite unnecessary, The morning saunter was succeeded by the af- ternoon drive, and if the day wasdelightful, what was the evening ? All, youth, middle-age and an- tiquity, assembled in the ball-room to intensify each other's delights. The light forms moving in 94 the graceful intricacies of the quadrille and ]an- guishing upon the manly shoulder in the fairy waltz, constituted an exquisite spectacle, while other forms languishing against the wall, were in- teresting spectacles also. In the moonlight upon the balcony, while music swelled from within, were the whispering in corners, the fond gaze, the palpitating heart, the stolen kiss, or else the abrupt intrusion of parental jealousy "afraid of the night air," or malignant envy, afraid of nothing. Moses contracted many new friendships and renewed some old ones. At dinner, upon the first day of his arrival, while Mr. Titman was being im- pressed with the thrilling ceremony of uncovering the soup, to the Soldiers' Chorus in Faust, and was staring in stupefaction at the gorgeous negro head waiter, adorned with diamond ear-rings; and while he himself was glancing over the blaze of elegance at the tables, our hero observed Mr. Pinksitt, the artist, with whom he became ac- quainted at the Evereroft, and who at once pleasantly recognized him. Avery fresh-looking young lady was seated with the painter, to whom he seemed to be devoting his smiles and atten- tion, and also a staid elderly gentleman, appar- entiv her father, who was devoting his amIles to the bird before him. After dinner, the painter joined Moses, and informed him that he had been in the country the most of the time since he had left the Evercroft, at a village on Long Island, getting up some marine things. " Ah I and our friend Captain Grimble and his wife ?" asked Moses in a low voice, for his thoughts involuntarily reverted to that eccentric fire-junk, and tender. "Have you seen them frequently ?" "No, no," replied Mr. Pinksitt with a sudden frown, and a nervous tug at his artistic beard. He certainly had something to reveal to Moses, but hesitated, and Moses, observing his agitation, delicately refrained from pursuing the blithesome subject. "By the way, I.have some friends here from Quogue. You saw them with me at dinner," presently resumed the artist, recovering from his abstraction. "I would like to introduce you." " I should be very happy," replied Moses. "She has retired just now to take a nap, or what is as refreshing to ladies, you know, to havo a talk with some female friend." The next forenoon Moses expended in the so- ciety of the young lady, when he soon observed that she looked upon the rising sun of modern painting with much favor, and seemed to allude to the marine views with even a semi-prop' ictary air. He saw this with gratification. He was pleased to observe it, as an evidence of the art- ist's emancipation from his previous relations. In the course of two or three days, Moses re- ceived a letter from New-York, directed in a lady's hand. Upon opening it, he discovered it was but an envelope, containing an epistle ad- dressed to Mr. Pinksitt, and in some astonishment thereat, he at once took the inclosure to the lat- ter. The artist opened it, read it, and at once manifested some intention of speedily reducing himself to the necessity of wearing a wig. " This is too much, Winkfield. I manage to keep her away, but she will continue to send me these protestations of love I" said he with a look of despair. page: 96-97[View Page 96-97] 96 "Who? Is it from Mrs. Grimble ?" asked Moses. "And what on earth did she send it to me for?" " Excuse me, Winkfield, but I took the liberty. You know Saratora is a dreadful place for gossip, and I fear to receive even a newspaper from her' here. I took the liberty, as she will write, to have her address her notes to you during ,rthe short period of the season here." " But I-" " You know you alone are acquainted with my relations with her; and my dear Winkfield, I can confide in you, and in no-one else." " That is very true, but still is not this arrange- meat a little too-"1 mt1tlEhe? You do not, like it? I will have it stopped. I'll have it stopped at once !" replied the artist disappointedly. " Oh! no, no !" exclaimed Moses, overcoming his slight dissatisfaction, upon observing the infesti- vity of the other's appearance. The artist here became more melancholy than ever; and fell into little fits of stupor, from which it seemed difficult to arouse him. " Aboy l" answered he, as Moses started him for the fifth time, probably from dreams of Capt. Grimble and others. "Yes, Winkfield, it is of no use, she will not give me up. She would die rather than see e marry ." " This is really a terrible position to be placed in," said Moses i sympathy. . "It is the conse- quence of allowing our temporary inclination to overcome.our sense of habitual duty." This philosophical reflection did not appear to comfort the distracted artist very much, for he answered: "But she-she patronized me in my profession. She was the first who did. She loved rue, and the worst of it was, I thought I did her. And I can not be an ingrate, Winkfield, I can not be an ingrate !" "Ingrate!" exclaimed Moses. "Why, what are you groiiig to do ? She wants me to wait until her husband is dead," replied Mr. Pinksitt. " He has had a slight touch of apoplexy since you saw im-en. raged at his cook!l" "But in not right in assuming, Mr. Pink. sitt, that another-that Miss Tucking-" " Yes, Winkfield, it is she only whom I love or can ever love !" exclaimed the artist passion. ately. "And let this dear girl once know that I have been so basely capable of deceiving another, as I have Josephinie-let Agnes and hei father know that I have been so weak-as to leti myself to Mrs. Grimble's penchant, and I am lost The sole hope of my life is lost!" "And let Capt. Grimble know it," though Moses, " and it would not make much difference whether you had any hopes or not "Josephine-that is, Mrs. Grimble-is in en. tire ignorance of even my acqutaitaiceship witi Miss Tucking. And it is my present object t keep her so, Winhfield; that is until-until- I'm distracted-at any rate for the present." "You are quite right. You have freed your self, and you are now authorized to take an, measures to emancipate her too from this infatr ation,"replied Moses vehemently. The next day he again visited the artist's roor for the purpose of encouraging him in his effort to free himself fiom the improper ecuiimstaiice which had so long surrounded him. Miss Tucli ing and her father were there. The young lady was merrily romping with her lover, and the father was complaisantly looking on with the oc- casional feint of t little parental expostulation thereat. "Ah Mr. Winkfield! you are just in time. Have an ice, do ! We have just had ours up," said the artist, The young lady had stopped her liveliness to salute Moses, and apparently feeling it necessary to subside gracefully to the decorum of acquaint- anceship, pretended to pick the pocket of Mr. Pinksitt's professional dressing-gown hanging over his traveling easel. Noticing a piece of paper beneath the easel, she picked it up, however, and exclaimed: " Oh!1 what a dear little note in buff and blue! May I read it, Edmund ?" " No, noy" said the latter, hastily attempting to snatch it from her. Taking his act as a lover's trifling, she alternately held the note in triumph from his reach, and read aloud therefrom, by, snatches, the following remarkable words: " Dear friend, I am sick of my husband. He grows worse and worse. He pulled the cook's nose again this morning and is unbearable. But your love, my dear friend, sustains amid these trials, one who should have been Your own JOSEPHINE.' "Sick of her husband t Your own Josephine l" repeated the innocent young lady, turning pale and sinking into a chair. " 0 father! give this horrid note, written in ugly blue ink, to-Mr. ]Vinksitt ! P. "No, not to me !" exclaimed the latter, in his agitation, still permitting the note to lie upon the carpet, whither it had dropped from the discom- posed young lady's hand. He cast an appealing look at Moses, undoubtedly indicating that he would-be pleased with a very peculiar piece of friendship on our hero's part. " To whom, then ?" asked Mr. Tucking, picking up the note, with the air of a man.afraid of infec- tion. "oTo-to Mr. Winkfield !" replied his proposed son-in-law, hesitating. " Really, I do not know if it belongs to him," said the Quogue country gentleman, with polar severity. " Ohs! yes, I assure you !* See the accompany- ing address. It's in the same handwriting and to Mr. Winkfield," said the willingly conmunica- tive artist, rushing to the table and taking up the wrapper, which Moses had left with the letter. The young lady uttered an exclamation of joy and followed to the window 1er father, who was suspiciously examinin'g the envelope, at arma's length through his eye-glass. "But, my dear, sir !" whispered the astounded Moses to Pinksitt. "For God's sake, say nothing now !" replied the latter. .It is true," said Mr. Tuekinc who had finished his quarantine examination, and approached Mo- ses. "Itis yours, sir, and I beg pardon for my delay in giving it to you, sir." Gracious heaven my dear sir- "c e Moses, bewilderedly holding the note. "You will excuse us for havingaccidentally discovered that which had better have been never .known," said the paterfamilias, still continuing MR. WINKFIELD. MR. WINKFIELD. his pleasing attempt to freeze Moses ; or perhaps never have bee'r Never have been, sir 1" " But, sir-!"interposed Moses again excitedly "Fie, sir, fie I" said the gentleman, now trying the warm treatment of shaming Moses into a sense of propriety. "But pardon us, sir, pardon us. We still must feel it is a humiliating secret, which is properly your own, sir !" Moses was in terrible discomfiture. Hie felt his hair standing upon end. " My daughter and I are about taking a little walk in the park. Meantime we hope, Mr. Pink- sitt, you will endeavor to assure your friend for us, that we have been very unwillingly intrusted with this objectionable knowledge," continued the Long Island parent pompously. "Good day, sir, good day, Mr. Winkfield."' Moses made a wild attempt to rush after them, but was restrained by the excited artist. " What are you going to do ?" asked the latter. " To disabuse their minds !" replied Moses hasti- ly, " to-", " What? Why, think, what you do to me !" " But this gentleman is a man of few words, and has had an impression of my character which- which-" "Oh ! pray rest easy, Winkfield. You are not placed as I am !" implored the artist. " But Iam!" said Moses, in renewed excitement. I have a friend in New-York, who-dear me, if she were to -hear-" " But she is not here !" continued the artist dis. tractedly. "What does it amount to, that Ag- nes and her father, who are comparative strangers to you, should imagine that you-" "But heavens! They imagine what is not so! What is not true !" said Moses vehemently. " They will never say any thing about it: They are people of honor, and, my dear friend, you will save me and my life and her's-Josephine s, by heaven, think of it !" The appeal became too great for Moses's feel- ingrs. He gave up his designa of following Mr. Taking and daughter, and presently left the grate- ful artist and went to his. own lodgings. "1 Pretty business!" ejaculated he on the way. However, keep quiet and -nothing will be known about it. He must certainly be assisted in his difficulties." But to increase those difficulties, to augment Moses's misgivings and add to the interest of the situation, Mrs. Grimble, accompanied by her ep- centric lord, arrived that afternoon. Moses was conjured by the agitated artist to screen his posi- tion from her observation, and introduced to her. After a short but comprehensive estimate of her peculiar character, Moses firmly concluded that a discovery, by this mercurial female, of the artist's relations with Miss Tucking would be hazardous of a volcanic explosion, in which some of the dibris might perchance be scattered over him. But as fortune had made him the sole depository of the disagreeable secret, and he seemed the only one who might assist the unhappy artist, he resolved to continue the exercise of his benevo- lence toward the latter, consistently, of course, with the obligation.to himself of preserving his own moral and physical system intact therein. lie, therefore, at once artfully endeavored to per- SUade Captain Grimble to leave the watering- place, although it was but the day after the latter arrived-. h "There IYou see mywife, Winkficld," sald the marine, who was somewhat irritated at a vio- lent snubbing he had jdst received from his wife. " What do you think of her? She let's me decide, you see. The point being always, whether I shall permit her to have her own way or, stand by and see her take it.Peculiar, Isn't she ?" b "Not at all, not at all. The prerogatives of the sex, you know," replied Moses. "By the way, both she and you will enjoy the society here very mafch, I imagine, Captain. It is regarded as a little stupid by some, and I know of one or two who even intend to leave at the very first oppor- tunity, but still, people will find fault everywhere, you know." I didn't want to come at all-Mrs. Grimble again." "At any rate, Captain, if nothing better, while you are here, you can occupy your time very beneficially in going through a course of the water medically. Dieting, keeping yourself in your room most of the time, you know, and taking your out- door exercise regularly. I advise you to; as an invalid, you couldn't do better," "D-n it! I can do that at heme !" TIt would perhaps be better at your house. The water is better bottled; and, surrounded with domestic comforts, it would certainly be much better if you went through the course in your own house." o Failing to persuade the gallant captain to fol- low this beneficial advice, Moses resorted to other maneuvers for the generous purpose of segregating that gentleman and his wife as much as possible from contact with Mr. Pinksitt. So assiduons and constant did he become in paying his court to Mrs. Grimble, so profusely complimentary, so eager in the offer of his services to her, that one day, when at the well with her lord, he thought he detected an inclination upon the part of that gentleman to throw a glass goblet at his head, and on another, he discovered him taking hdeliber- ate aim at him with his forefinger, as if lie were imagining it a first-quality dueling-pistol. Confound this marine monomaniac !" thought Moses. "He can't be getting jealous of me! Good gracious, suppose he should find out that his wife had been addressing notes to me! By heaven, if I were alone here, I shouldebe tempted to go away and get rid of the whole business at once! But no " continued he striking his breast, "I will not dishonorably desert one who has appealed to my aid in his efforts to recover the path of duty. Besides that, I am no doubt mistaken." CHAPTER XLIII. IN WHICH MR. PINKSITT Is IMPRUDENT, MOSES ARTLESS, AND MRS. GIUMBLE TRAn STRONG. A LETTER FROM MR. DIFFICULTY, UPoN an island of the neighboring lake, short- ly after Mr. and Mrs. Grimble's arrival, there took place from the hotel a picnic, which Moses looked upon as a failure. Firstly, because every body wished to be exclusive and speak to nobody; secondly, because they would not dance, as they had enough of that to do at the hotel; thirdly because they could not fish, as there were no fhin e lk; fourthl, because there seemed page: 98-99[View Page 98-99] 98 MR. WIN nothing to be done, except to eat the luncheon and look at the scenery, both of which were very uninteresting; and fifthly, because Mr. Toplady was shot quite severely in the leg, in an attempt at archery, gotten up among the ladies toward the close. Mr. Barnard had done his best to rescue the assembly from their dejection. He had proposed for that purpose, early in the proceedings, that the banquet should be spread and eaten, particu- larly, as, owing to the vicissitudes of dissipation, he had only partially breakfasted that morning upon a segar and a glass of Congress water. He had afterward facetiously tied a ferocious bull- frog upon the bosom of a gentleman who had re- sorted to the oblivion of slumber for relief, col- laterally securing in either hand a garden toad, and then awakened him with a shower of grass- hoppers. But even this and other little speci- pens of the young gentleman's liveliness failed to be inspiring. The only funny thing which ap- peared to be appreciated during the whole of the performance was an attempt upon the part of Mr. Titman to sing a serious song. Captain Grimble's knowledge of aquatic matters had been called into requisition, and he had been carried to the picnic, not unwillingly, for his wife had sprained her foot on the morning of its occurrence, and shown savage symptoms of megrims in conse- quence of thesaccident. She had been covertly promised the society of Mr. Pinksitt during her lord's absence, and perhaps it was chiefly from the painter's infatuation in neglecting her to ac- company Miss Tucking to the festivity, that Moses felt it to have been a failure. When the hour for returning came, the foolish artist contemplated the possible insalubrity of this step. It then suddenly struck him that her sus- picions might have been aroused by it, that she even might be very uncomfortably awaiting his return to the hotel, with wrath enough in her re- flections to create a serious scene. Oppressed with this unpleasant idea, he confessed his delin quency to Moses, and induced him to proceed ahead as scout, with the agreement to follow him and tarry at the wells to await any threatening intelligence he might procure. Again inspired with the rectitude of the cause, Moses at once generously set out for the hotel, and, there pro ceeded to virtuously sneak about the premises in cautious search of Mrs. Grimble's presence. Shi was not in her parlor, but he presently found he' at a hall window near the artist's apartments She had been reading there a book which appar ently disagreed with her; so much so, that th hall waiter had removed his station to the othe end of the passage, in alarm at her irritated start and impatient expressions. She started again a seeing Moses, but immediately recovered herself and smiled with extraordinary sweetness upo him. "Waiter, take this book to my apartment. S you have" returned from the picnic, Mr. Wink field. Where are your friends ?" said she "1Where is Mr. Pinksitt? He was there, o course." There were here some symptoms of ferocit at the mention of Mr. Pinksitt's name ; but Mose was glad to attribute them ,to her unpleasant ankle, for she immediately smiled again sweetly ad Rad:- "Mr. Winkfleld, I am charmed with your b FIELD. MR. WINKFIELD. g nevolence and self-sacrifice. Anow me to express the unbounded admiration I have for such vir. posely tohavoid me, the traitor? But he shall Mr. Tucking, who had been introduced to tuous efforts. . The last instance of it, in particu. not, he shall not !" her. lar, calls for my gratitude even !" - At the utterance of these terrible words, which Mrs. Grimble bowed, but did not answer him " Your gratitude I" exclaimed Moses, attempt. were accompanied by the most unfavorable looks, further. ing to look virtuous. she flirted off at once to her apartments. With "May be she is like me, out of breath and can "Yes I" said she, glaring terribly upon him; the speed of a startled hare, Moses bounded from not. Oh! if she would only stay sol" thought "and I may -repay you, sir, in good time. But the hotel into the park, and led many of the par- Moses. tell me," continued she, suddenly retaking her ties who were loitering in the latter to believe he "Your daughter, Mr. Tucking," suggested the gracious air, and smiling mere sweetly than ever, was mad as a March one, by his wild flight to the artist, desperately, as his propped father-in-law "tell me about the picnic, do 1" place 6f assignation with the painter. It was as he began to appear somewhat astonished. " Mrs. "Yes, I will, certainly !" replied Moses, slight- expected. The artist had but just arrived there, Grimble, allow me. This is Miss Agnes Tucking." ly startled. and with him were the inevitable Mr. and Miss "No. She is so enraged she can't speak. " Tell me, sir," said she, setting her teeth and Tacking, who were ready to saunter toward the Gracious! it will be terrible presently I" again flirting her fan convulsively, telll me - your hotel.thut friend, Mr. Pinksitt-was he at the picnic?' "My friend! my friend p" gasped he. "I beg tardMos me s y daughter, sir," said the "Yes," replied Moses, stammering in confusion pardon; I didn't observe you-scarcely, con. ent' female slowly to Mr. Tucking. "And your at her authoritative air. "I-he-that is-I beg tinued he, addressing the worthy natives of friend, Mr. Pinksitt," continued she with freezing Quogue- significance to the unhappy artist. "And you, no doubt, thought he'd better be What is your agitation, Mr. Winkfield ? One "Here it comes. She can contain herself no there than at home. You induced him to go VI would think you were really being pursued by longer," murmured Moses. continued she, with some symptoms of personally some one" exclaimed Mr. Tucking. Am I not right, sir " continued the female attacking Moses, as the derelict artist's acknow. cs it is nothing, not ling It is only be- wildly. e Is primo correct or me to assume, ledgred friend, cause I have been running. I've come quick,"7 Miss, before I proceed, that-"1 "I, madam ? Certainly not," protested Moses, replied Moses. A personal-a personal matter "Certainly !" interrupted the artist quickly. in hasty forgetfulness. "I had nothing to do of importance, upon which I wish Mr. Pinksitt's " I have the honor and pleasure, in common with with it I" advice. Excuse me !"Mr. Winkfield and others, of calling myself Miss "What i Nothing to-do with it! Who had, "Ah! something connected with that affair of Tucking's friend. (Josephine! do you know ten-was it a lady? Tellme, did e accompany he tt i ediately suggested Mr. Tucking what you are invoking? Death to us both and te-ita ladythhe ? Tl e i h copn to the artist in a low voice, our love!I")DI Yes " replied Moses inanely. "No ! That Yes it is possible," replied the latter, turn- It was a desperate whisper, but it had its effect. isis"omhat ae. The mention of their love!/, Was she mistaken? hi e waltz wihher?""Oh! I am sorry you have such a friend," The temporary danger was Passed, at aiiy "No!He did not e e did not, I assure whispered te young lady pettishly. aBut I rate. She recovered her tone, nothing be yknow you are so good, and you may recover him henceforth observable therein beyond allowable " Did he sit by her at dinner? Did he fill her by your counsel." feminine malignance, and leaving, her intimidating glass? Did she pull his hair? Did she toy with "Yes, Yes," replied the artist, here grasping time confused Mr. Tucking, whom ahe judiciously his watch-chain, the min ?" continued she, rap- his hair isanelv. chose as the object of its severity, Moses betook "And do talk to him. Talk to him now, the himself to his room, where his feelings were mo- idly, almost breathlessly.wrthdmn.whehifelgseemo " Yes," replied Moses, astonished to remember reafulcd man. Rescue him from his dreadful, mentarily diverted from the subject by the follow- - that this was pretty much what had furtively course ing iiterestimg letter, which he had received from I taken plce between the enamored couple. "That "Why, what is the matter? What makes yom his servant Bruswick. comae in this breathless manner ?"1 asked the art. i evntBusik s"Did he walk about with her? Did lie have ist quickly, as his friends turned away. "RasPacTAuLE Sin, his arm around her waist?" continued she, rising "Nothing. Tell, em you are sick or sometmg, "According to the promise promulgated by me in her rage. "Did she pout at him? Did he- edo from here," replied our hero in a hasty and ratified onto by yourself before we temper I did he-kiss her ?" I rW"isper. parted for the nonst, I take my pen into hand " On one occasion,"7 replied Moses idiotically; "From here ? Where to ?"f1- artlfor te ons Notnen myvpcns intohr, "there may have been-" "Anywhere but the 1otel'or on these grounds. aid that daind-excuse the site blasfeimy! ceptin, "Oh I I knew it! I guessed it !" exploded Go"t onceh o perhaps, I vent to camp-meeti on Long Island's e she in her fury. "The wretches IThe miserable "But hat does this mean?. sea-girts shor. Inow take my pen n hand for to r creatures ! The chit ! Who is she ? Ah i! this "Go, I tell you, or look out for a storm and recount the numerous scenes, religious, obscene, minx I have seen him with three times since I Andvscn" and otherwise. There was a teremnjous crowd - have been here ?". "An wy -" 'onto the train, but the terp was luckly short, as e "Madam, allow me to explain. You mistake. "Because Mrs. Grimble has discovered all, and it was quite hot, sir, and the senses was rendered r ITe was merely endeavoring to make the day is looking for you. That's all," replied Moses, extremely sensitive. It was a beautifully day, and s pleasant, madam, I assure you, for an acquaint fwio undoubtedly said last what he ought to have all nature smiled, and most of the passengers t ne fhi ndmnefomLngIlad wo" first. 1ms ftepsegr t dance of his and mine from Long Island, who- "Greattook advantage of the tavern 'jest above the "Where is he? I will expose him! 1 IWill "Great God!Ihow can Iuhinder- grounds, to do so also to mnothei way. The n publicly expose him.' I will bring him to the Min! "reie no longer time There she is camp ground was an attractive site, sir, so activity punishment he so richly deserves." g " p roses in a flint voice. and religious fever. But excuse the digreshun, o "But, madam," expostulated Moses, "is not A approne g them, with rapid steps, was and to resume. I wandered about onderneatha your interest in this matter--may it not seem the il-mateled lady. There was no opportunity the trees, and looking into the tents. A great somewhat extraordinary, if not to society at a ettpe. Tostr ten and run would have been many other colored mn were doing the same f large, at least to Captain Grimble ?" a pretty piece of business, extremely pretty anmd thing, and lots of artikics werec casually stole. "Where is Edmund ? You, as the accomplice frmi ito tie bystanders, if inothmg resulted Mother-in-law injured herself the fumst two days, .y of his perfidy, ought to know," continued sihe. " h!hr! d. riding in the whoolegig outside time tents, and time sa " He hasn't returned from the picnic yet," re- Ah ervee you are I"said the lady, stopping stujent was also injured into his moral feelins by at plied Moses. ("Heavens ! suppose he is at the mdareiu the quartet. losing 40 cents on the thimble; now you ace him y funtin ow.Sh is't o lme utthat sh "aaim th artrs. Grimdbe Allo in e" x- and now you don't, sir, you know. There wasa wy ountai w. Shr her sn't so lmeebt himimed th artit, forced to take notice of her good many of 'em about, and after semon, was e- " But he will, won't he ? Is he trying puir- Peculiar air, it was so evident. Grmg ? ad en'lly 'dnlged insby thim members, as had little page: 100-101[View Page 100-101] 100 MR. WIN and was, no doubt, encouraged by the, ministers,' as when they lost it made 'ein gloomy and desire consolation of their pastoi's words. Nothin' further occurred the fust two days, 'cept, perhaps, a young man put himself out of jint in four places, while drawin' himself up in exstasy, and let himself out suddenly to express his religious feeling. " Third -day. I begin to sperience feelins of retchedness myself towards night, which I attri- bute to the fac' there was no water handy to wash into, and had been two days and a half with a dirty face, but a lady as had taken an interest into me, led me to the angus seats, and I diskiv- ered it was religion. As it was evenin', and she sat by me, and we held each other up, sleepin' part of the time durin' the discourse, which last 11 o'clock fourth day. "Fourth day. The remainder of the fourth day I pass over as of little interest as it was pass- ed in sleepy oblivion. N.B.-I was not so much drunk, sir, as tired, as you may imagine from the above recital. But 'to continue. I will now drop the dairy form, and resume the easy hys terical flow of logical narrating the subsequent events, as it is more natural for me. Besides, I forget the exact days. Sufficient to say, I had hol altogether lost my site, my memory dear and English home and beauty, to quote a fine inscrip tion onto a monument heard of by me.' I wac drugged by some parties unknown to me an forced to join the church. I escaped from thi converted fold, and, insensible as I was, instinct ively picked out the stujent in the crowd, wh( was continually hollerin' about me as a sinner who ought to be saved from d--nation-excus the profanity-and administered to him a sever punishment four times onto his person, twice with my foot in his rear, it is subsequently relate to me, and twicet into his left eye. It was a di grace, I confess it, and I am sorry to relate it t you as my respected employer of my capacities as servant, but I have felt that I ought to b frank, and besides that you requested me to writ to you minutely. Perhaps it was not my fault I am gen'ally temperate ; I never think of -drinkit nothin' 'cept what's left at dinner, as you knov and' far be it from my thought -ever to treat a r ligious 'sembly with creatin' violence and a rov That is what I told the constable of the town r siding near the canip, and he finally left me o on payment to him of two dollars and my letti him have my new vest. He kept me three da; in his cellar, and he said the food I had was much as that. Mother-in-law was very indige the first day all day, and tended to the stujen w49 was severely injured. However, she and t1 above lady and one or two friends afterward can down to the constables, who, as a legal office couldn't be tampered with by them, and as t minister was with 'em, and he felt the outrage and besides that, mother-in-law had put evfe cent she had with her into the plate. But to vert to our subject. In my respect for mothe feelins, as she 'peared to feel bad, I went up the stujent, and forgave him. So no more fro yours at present. The minit you want me, se immejiate, and I will jine you quicker than a wi or a eagle flying' after his prey. I want to very mu I miss you, my guide, fatl~ier, and friend, if y .will humbly pardon my addrespin' of yor as su( but such I really feeL TKFIELD. MR. WIN "Good by, sir. N.B.-When I come shall I that she wound up with such -outrages upon my fetch your thick clothes? I now respectfully bid feelings, that-that I felt myself freed at the you adieu.t c s' , moment from the only chain which bound me- " I am your sincere friend and well-wisher, my remorse at breaking the tie-and summoning I1"H. BRuNswtcK DIFFicULTs. courage, I told her firmly that she had broken it "P.S.-Remember me to Mr. Toplady, who I herself by her outrages upon my feelings, and hope is well, and otherwise enjoying' God's blessing . that I would, in fine, marry Agnes ; and she .pe s wll, nd thewise Joyn~o',sbessn'. agreed to it! With a terrible passion, Winkfleld, Also to Mr. Titman, and Mr. Barnard, aid pre- she agreed to it, and informed me she was as glad sent them with respects in behalf of your truly as I, to break the tie between us. t ohe then flew devoted accomplice in your benevolent missions. outo a room." -out ,, oue room." H.B.Diaw." " She flew out of the room !" repeated Moses. "Then I am afraid, dear me! it is not all over, my friend." CHAPTER XLIV. "What1' don't you think so ?" asked the artist dubiously. CULMINATION OF THE RELATIONS OF MR. PINKsI'T "Beg pardon," said a domestic, approaching WITH MRS. GRIMBLE. them. " Mr. Pinksitt, a note for you, sar." NEXT morning at breakfast, Moses met his fel- "Good God I" exclaimed the artist, tearing low-conspirator. open the epistle. "I-I-Winkfield---" "Free! I am free !" said the latter, taking "What is the matter ?" said Moses, hastily Moses -aside. "I can breathe again, my dear supporting the other. "You stagger! You are friend Winkfield !" sick-" , - " What !" It is from her!1 It is from her, Winkfield. t "I belong only to myself. I am my master. Here, read said the artist faintly, "She in- All is broken. She has released me and forever." sists upon another interview ." t " May heaven keep it soI I hope she may not "I ,told you ao. What did I tell you just I change her mtind !" said Moses. now?" exclaimed Moses angrily, as he took the - " Poor Josephine !" 'exclaimed the artist. letter. "This affair isn't finishedI It isn't s "Good heaven, are you regretting her already !" finished, and never will be." d exclaimed our hero,' with more misgiving. , 'I've sent Captain Grimble to Ballston to e "Oh ! no, but I must pity her." procure rooms. He has become extremely ugly, - Yes, she is in an extremely wretched position, and wishes to go away too. Come to my parlor. o and she merits our pity. No, she does not," re- I must see you this once I'" read Moses from the , canted Moses severely, having time to recollect note. e his position as a strict upholder of the morals of "I must go," said the artist resignedly. "I e society, and in addition to that, the irritating fact suppose I must !" t that in spite of that strictness, he had already "Yes, I suppose you must, replied Moses, d been exposed, through her agency, to the con- who had some apprehensions that the lady might s- tempt of at least two of his fellow-beings. "Not otherwise very definitivelyundertake to conclude o a bit. Not a bit. And you must be firm !n the difficulties, by divulging the whole affair to s ." Well, it is all over, my dear friend, and I am her husband; "but be firm! Be firm !" e firm !". . The artist promised to be firm, and departed; te "But are you sure? Tell me, what did she say? whereupon Moses for more than an hour, in vari- t. You met her in -secret, and-" ' ous attitudes and various distracted conversations n' " Yes; she immediately came to my room, and with different parties, awaited his return. At W, commenced at once by saying calmly that she last he came. e- wished to convince herself it was not a dream or " It is all arranged. She wished to tell me w. an imposition. She then suddenly exclaimed: she had taken time to reason," said he. "She e- ' No, it is true ; it is real. You can not deceive acknowledged the folly and error of continuing to ff me any longer. You, who have affected, before cherish her ideas, and she had now determined n' me, the most tender sentiment, have been in the to consent. She told me she would still love me ys mean while quietly arranging your union with an- as a friend-a brother," continued he,, much as other! Wretch, if I ought not to have expected affected ; " and she is only to remain over night nt love from you, I at least thought I could expect the and to-morrow, and appear in the ball-room this it, honor, loyalty, and frankness of a gentleman l" evening, and then she is going to Ballston, and it he "Good !" ejaculated Moses. will all be over !" ne "Accuse my frankness and not my honor, I rd. "At last it looks so," said Moses, in great er, plied; I swear to you, that from the very first day, satisfaction. he I promised to tell you all, but whenever I saw That evening the lady appealed in the ball- e, you, I had neither the courage nor the force to room, with no traces of her morning's anguish; ry avow to you that-but I will not tell you Wink- and she danced and flirted vivaciously with every re- field what occurred afterward. She-she accused one, except the artist. r's me of vilely marrying for money ; and having "Yes. She is a noble woman to be able to to recalled to tny memory the many benefits she had make such an effort," thought Moses. -" And ~m conferred, upon me in my profession, she coon- Pinksitt, too. No wonder he -appears somewhat nd menced to treat me-as she does her husband ill at ease and still concerned. It is the thought nk sometimes. She then appealed to my genero-ity .of having been the cause of such a trial to that ch. to give her time to become accustomed to the thing, interesting creature. But, thank heaven!i the on and in the same breath flew into another fit of trial has been concluded in the cause of pro- oh, rage, and vowed she would declare all, and scnd priety." me and herself to destruction. Suffice it to say, And with these happy reflections he proceeded to devote himself to tiiefestivity. Moving here and there in the illuminated hall, amid the love- liness and grace of its occupants, or sustaining some exquisite form in the various dances there- in, or listening in delighted benignity to the low gentle-oice of his partner in some cool alcove. His friends apparently shared with him the plea- sure of the evening. At its commencement, Mr. Titiman was honored with the society of a young lady, who endeavored to impress him with a no- tion of her refinement by an intense demonstra- tion of frigidity; but, notwithstanding this and the physical effect therefrom of catching a slight cold and sneezing once or twice, he was enabled to continue his hilarity until an extremely late hour, when he was forced to his lodgings by three waiters under the command of Mr. Barnard. When Mr. Toplady retired, he judiciously fol- lowed up the'business fidelity with which he had attended to his terpsichorean duties, by rubbing his limbs with brandy, and Mr. Barnard followed his by applying the same internally. As for our hero himself, the graceful manner in which he performed various redowas, varsoviennes, etc., called forth the admiration of numerous young ladies; and even the accident of being thrown in a sitting position upon an old lady's lap, caused by the enthusiastic rapidity of a waltz, which he had executed with a congenial young lady, was passed over by the ancient gentlewoman herself with but a sriort or two of momentary indigna- tion, owing to his affable bearing. And he con- tinued his efforts until he and the lights were fairly put out. CHAPTER XLV. CULMINATION OF MOSES'S RELATIONS WITH CAPT. GRtIMBLE. NEXT morning Moses, in returning from his customary morning walk, found Mr. Titman at breakfast, in company with Mr. Toplady, Mr. Barnard, and a party of fashionable young gentle- men, whom he was convulsing with the wit which he had imbibed from the negro minstrels during his brief stay in New-York, and which was ren- dered sufficiently original, by his affecting it to be so, to make it highly pleasing. After gener- ously doing his share of applauding these affable efforts of the little gentleman, Moses repaired to the balcony with Mr. Barnard. He was there presently caught by a party of interesting young ladies, and pressed into their service as reader of the new poem by Tennyson, whereupon Mr. Barnard, leaving him with the decided, conclu- sion that he was very amiable, sought Mr. Top- lady's society in a game of bowls. As Moses now and then endeavored to render the intenser passages of the poet with dramatic force, and lifted his sonorous voice or lowered it to the still whisper, many were the looks of ad. mira'tion and even tenderness cast upon him and his poetic absorption. There were some unavoid- able interruptions by necessary remarks among the young ladies, respecting their crotchet work, such as, " Yes. T wo loops ; then a cross stitch ! 1, 2, 3, 4. Return and fill up interstices. 1, 2, 3, 4. Then reverse," etc. And also an idiotic poo- dle instinctively felt it his duty to bark violently FIELD 101 page: 102-103[View Page 102-103] 102 MR. WIN whenever Moses raisedais arm to point the fin- f ger of scorn, or make the lover s- appeal to s ;heaven. But otherwise his auditors vere deeply I delighted, and he would have come off without a f mar to his own pleasure, if he had not felt forced a to correct an innocent Laura Matilda who per- I sisted in pointing out the flattest commonplaces t of the book as exquisite gems, merely because the t Sentences commenced .the wrong end foremost.e After philosophically attempting to show that true poetry consisted neither in exhibiting a sen- t sible man in motley, nor a fool in plain dress, he I left to wander about the park, and presently pro- 1 ceeded to his own room. It was a commodious i front-parlor with a back bed-room, upon the first a floor, in a pleasant cottage surrounded with a garden of trees. He opened the door of his parlor. "Good I gracious !" exclaimed he. His friend, the artist,- was agitatedly pacing I across the room, and Mrs. Grimble was, seated i upon the sofa, pulling her handkerchief in equal' agitation. The fact of his parlor being made the f place of interview may have caused him some( alarm, but it was that of there being any interview at all, and particularly it agitated appearanceI which caused him to inwardly exclaim, " Thist eternal affair! I knew it She's changed her mind againI" .( " My dear sir," continued he, with a frown, to the artist who approached him to explain; t " why, why have you been weak enough to-" t " My dear Winkfield," interrupted the artist, "excuse my liberty, for1it was necessary, such a have become Captain Grimble's suspicions-and a she insisted on the interview and-I thought we'd better agree to meet once more. She's just come, and every thing as yet is-well, in point ofI fact, somewhat unsettled,'but-"I " Madam!V" said our hero energetically, turn- ing to the lady. "You are no doubt aware of t my having become involuntarily a confident of your unhappy secret, entirely involuntarily, andI it is in fact extremely disagreeable to me, but allow me as a confident to advise, warn, nay, i entreat you, both of you, unhappy beings, to( summon up your courage, to fortify your duty to f yourselves and to society, and conquer this ter- rible attachment, which however pardonable in I its commencement, is still leading to consequen- ces which may be truly regarded by every en- lightened Christian and conservative upholder of I the conventionalities of society as no more nor less than-awful !" Now this oration was all very pretty, highly 1 applicable, and creditable to the moral impulses of our hero, but we are inclined to believe if he( had known the proceedings which were taking I place outside at the very moment of its delivery,( he would have refrained altogether from it, and confined his words to a simple exhortation toE thenm to leave his apartment instantly. But he 1 did not know that Captain Grimble's sufferings had so increased, in consequence of his wife's extraordinary number of headaches, ferocity and i erratic conduct generally, as to induce that wor- thy but sensitive gentleman to attempt to dis- cover the cause by employing several emissaries in the shape of numerous small boys to watch the motions of his willful lady, not daring to do so himself. He further was not aware that one I of these youthful spies, but a short moment be- ft AF-V% -WIN-r-wqkovl MR. WINKFIELD. E 103 FIELD. fore, had returned to the captain at the hotel table with the interesting information that the ady had turned down into the yard of Mr. Wink. ield's lodgings, and, in fact, entered the same in an easy and graceful manner. But luckily, as he paused and delicately looked out of one of he parlor-windows, that his remarks might have heir effect unwitnessed by him, he espied the excited captain, who had knocked down the boy and started for the cottage, now tearing through he front-gate and toward the house. With that presence of mind which marks a vigorous intel. ect, and one equal to cases of extreme and per. lous necessity, Moses bounded to the parlor-door and locked it. The next moment he wisely ex- pended in revealing the coming danger to the lady and her unhappy affinity, the next in bund- ling them together into the back chamber, and pointing breathlessly to a door leading out there- from into the rear of the garden, and the next in seizing from the centre-table a copy of that in- teresting monthly, Godey's Lady's Book, and thus fraudulently. but grandly awaiting events. The captain rushed into the hall of the cottage, and violently seized the first door-handle he met with. It was that of Moses's apartment. The latter arose, book in hand, and opened it. ___ "My wife I my wife! Mrs. Grimble l" ex- claimed the captain, tearing past Moses into the room and insanely looking beneath the sofa and table, upon the mantel-piece, and pulling the chairs about.; "Eh? eh, sir ? Captain, what means this-this abruptness ?" asked the pale Moses, heroically summoning all -his power. "What means this intrusion, sir ?" - "You needn't attempt subterfuge, young man. My wife, Mrs. Grimble. Is that woman here ?'" roared the captain ferociously. "Your wife, Mrs. Grimble, here P" replied the trembling Moses and feigning a mixture of indig- nation and surprise. "Don't you see she is not here? Don't you see it?" "Yes. I see she is not here. And what is more, young man, I see-a handkerchief-a la- dy's handkerchief !" cried the captain, darting at an object upon the sofa, and examining it. "If it isn't hers, scuttle me! One of the blasted three dozen I bought at the lace store, No. 33 Bowery, and presented her with 1" For a short moment Moses stared idiotically at the unfortunate article of apparel, disordered, and left by the lady in her recent agitation upon the sofa. He then instinctively backed toward the bed-room door to escape by that egress. He could not. The artist had taken the hasty pre. caution to lock that too in his flight. The cap- tain drew a glittering blade, which, whether his own or borrowed, amply answered all require- ments. The chase around the centre-table was a short one. At the fourth heat Mr. Winkfield turned abruptly upon his pursuer. With one elevating blow which he succeeded in placing aider the proboscis of the latter, he knocked that less agile antagonist into the fire-place atid a state of insensibility, and escaping by the front.- door, fled for the apartment of his nearest friend and sole relative, Mr. Toplady,. CHAPTER XLVI. MR. PINKSITT UNDERTAKEs TO DISCHARGE SEVERAL BUSINESS MATTERS FOR THE JOINT ACCOUNT OF GaIMsLE, WINKFIELD, AND SELF. Ma. ToPLADY was not in. Our hero rushed into -the hall again, where he came in contact with the equally fermented Pinksitt. "She is afe in her own room. We escaped without being observed by any one I" whispered that agitated gentleman. "But, good heaven, I didn't !" replied Mr. Winkfield breathlessly. "Pinksitt, I must leave. I must leave town at once. Ha suspected and attacked me. I defended myself, and knocked hin down, but he'll be here presently, and good heaven, I must leave, to avoid a public exposure of the matter, if-nothing else! Adieu. Protect my honor, bring me word to Plumville, and keep my destination a secret from every one-,even my friends !" The directions were extremely hasty, but they were sufficient, and in less than an half-hour our hero, fitisihing his third mile toward Plumville, sat down ont a rock in a hidden wood at the side of the road, to recover his physical energies and momentarily contemplate the extraordinary diffi- culties into which he had been so unexpectedly plunged. We observed that by his promptness of action in the late contest, his terribly excited antago- nist had been knocked insensible; we may ob- serve that he was in a measure knocked sensible also, for upon recovering, instead of the impiil- sive vengeance which he had thus attempted to scekl, he resolved at once upon the systematic. plan of satisfaction usual im such cases. Yes, he started for his hotel- there avoiding every one as well as he could in his rage, he at once paid his bills, calmly informed his now thorough. ly alarmed wife that she must pack up at once; and about the time that Moses reached Plum- ville on the north he and the other half of his ungracious establishment had reached the Spa on the south. From this latter place he failed not ere he retired to his restless couch to indite a dreadful challenge to our hero, and inclosing it in an epistle to Mr. Pinksitt with a brief state- ment of his grievances received at the hands of this vile.scoundrel and- bloody pirate, Winkfield, requested him to undertake the task, peculiarly restorative to the unhappy artist no doubt, of becomnig his second. What were the latter feelings ? With restless paces in his room he waited for the light to break, and at early dawn sneaked out of the hotel with the deadly missive, and in a hired gig reached tne tavern at Plum- ville ere the comfort-loving people of that town were yet stirring. As Moses had too well con- jectured, the news he thus received was such as would increase the consternation and disgust into which; he had already been plunged. The sleepless night was to be succeed by a day of darkness and perhaps-I "But let me calm you. Consider this missiveI of but little account, my dear Winkfield, or that it will be matle so by the step which I am aboutI to take," said the artist, in a voice faltering with despair. '"And now, adieu, my friend, adieu !'- "What step ? Where are you going ? What are you goim5 to do ?" exclimmed Mosea in as- tonishment at these words and the manner of the other. Can I hesitate without being an infamous wretch?" replied the artist. "Is it not for me, for me that your life has already been endan- gered ? Is it not for me I'hat she, infatuated as she is, is about to lose honor, fortune, and rep- utation at the hands of her injured husband ? Is it not by me that he, a gentleman of honor and gallant marine, has been injured and outraged ?" "Oh ! do not feel so guilty !" cried Moses, with emotion, "for you are not, are you ?" 1"And to-morrow without doubt you would-yes, it is right. My existence belongs to Josephine, and I will offer it to her-my honor to you, and I will sacrifice it for your safety. Either stay and avow all, if she be already repelled by her hus- band, and receive at his hands the fatal punish- ment which I merit, or fly with her to some strange country, there to linger in wretched ob- scurity and endeavor to atone for the folly into which we have been inadvertently drawn P" "Silence !" cried Moses convulsively. " That is, be calm. Let us endeavor to preserve our equanimity at this terrible moment. You can do neither the one nor the other. Either step would be to the lady' dishonor, and besides that, you haven't money enough to fly with! "No ! my friend !' said the artist despondent. ly. "But what matters lucre in a case where honor and character are in question ?" "I would lend you some," said Moses forget- fully. "But no, no! never, never! Listen to me. The fatal attachment between you and this wretched female is not what has been discovered at all. It is I the captain suspects I To clear myself I would have to betray both you and his wife, unless I could sit down and calmly reason with him on his absurd suspicion of me. I'll sit down and reason with him, Pinksitt !" " But he will not listen to reason. Good God! I know him too well!" * Eh 2" said Moses in concern, starting up in bed. "Never !" "Then he deserves to be shot, and I will fight him I I am opposed to duels, but I will fight this one !" exclaimed Moses, striking the pillow beside iivn with a tremendous blow. "Besides that, there is no alternative. I must, by heaven !" To say he did not feel it was possible that an encounter might not be necessary, would be de- nying him the ordinary porptions of humanity. But still as he had no exact notion as to how it could be avoided, we must accord much admi- ration to the magnanimity of his decision. The artist was overcome. "My friend I my dear Winkfield I" said he, rising desperately. "The time is elapsing. I must leave you. I will see that you are protect. ed in this matter, as your disinterestedness de- serves. It shall not be said that such friendship as yours will be unremembered by me !" He tore himself with a fervent embrace from the magnanimous Moses, who had been suddenly struck with the premonition that he was going to feel very disagreeable. The next forenoon, the artist was returning to Saratoga from a pleasant visit to the dire Captain Grimble at Blallston, in which he had been led to believe that all hope of stopping the affair was dissipated. Hie found that by the captain's order, the servants of the page: 104-105[View Page 104-105] 104 MR. WINKFIELD. latter had taken bodily possession of his hair- selfish being who asks you to sacrifice me in this brained spouse, and carried her by force to her way ? Tell me I" home in New York; that the captain had already "I must go 1"1 broken seven chairs, three tables, and as many "Ah ! tell me; is it Mr. Winkfield?" continued Ballston waiter's heads in his distracted fury, and she, lowering her voice impressively. the entire Sabbath-day previous with numberless - "Yes ! yes. But it is of the utmost importance oaths. In vain had the unhappy Pinksitt endea- that the matter be kept secret and-" vored to demonstrate the improbability of the "Ah I I know. It has something to do with wife's having been in Mr. Winkfield's room, by that letter which the miserable, guilty man left stating he was there himself about the period al- in your room and which betrayed his wretched luded to. The dreadful handkerchief was sufficient relations with-with, heavens another person's to nullify his efforts. With that handkerchief, the wife !" inexorable ancient mariner intended a grand theat- " Yes. It is with that fatal matter, by foolishly ric coup of vengeance on the battle-field. He pur- becoming involved in which, he is now only too posed waving it as a sort of white black-fiag, and well punished 1" continued the artist, endeavoring then using it as wadding for the numerous bullets to relieve his feelings. with which heintended toperforate our rascally he- "PunishedI It is right. He merits it, the ro'sperson. Theartist desperately consentedto con- wretched being and profligate " said the young tinue as his friend, and then left, under pretense lady. of immediately meeting the second of Moses. "But-but his existence is at stake !" contin- His last hope was gone.. He had not entertained ued the artist, irritated by these weighty compli- Moses's suggestion of submitting the affair to Mr. ments to our hero. "A duel may-" Barnard, for he intended that Moses should nked "A duell" no second. Yes! he would choose the loneliest "Yes, and it is my duty to endeavor to pre- spot he could find for the field. He would ac- vent it." company the captain thither, and cause Moses to "You will be shotI One of the pistols may meet them there. Once there, he would himself go off, and-O heavens I I'll go straight and tell avow all, request Moses's aid as his own second, the magistrates I" and take the punishment he merited from the "Great God I no!" said the artist fervently. hands of the husband. Being blotted from exist- "No, I warn you, Agnes. Now that I have in- ence by the latter would only be too welcome to trusted it to you, let no one know of this in the him. le made his will in his pocket-book on slightest particular. No one l Remember, I the way, leaving all the pictures he had wrought charge youI1" to the United States government, to be hung in The longest time usually known for a woman the rotunda of the national capitol, a lock of to keep a secret is, we believe, twenty-four hours. hair to Agnes and Moses each, and his wardrobe The one which the artist, with a lover's infatua- to the worthy Irish janitor of the studio buildings, tion, thus intrusted to his Agnes, she kept seven who had been, at -many periods of artistic need hours and twenty minutes. At the end of that during a long series of years, his generous finan- period she nervously divulged it in strict confi- cial friend. dence to her father. Her father felt it to be his He proceeded to select the field, a pasture duty to seek Mr. Toplady at once, and with the adjoining an obscure village, three miles distant information put a stop to the terrible alarm into from Plumville. Captain Grimble could remove which the latter had been thrown by the sudden with him to the village hotel the night before, disappearance and prolonged absence of his and Moses could ride over from his retreat at nephew. Mr. Toplady at once practically con- Plumville in the morning. The field was well suited with Mr. Barnard, Mr. Titman, and the chosen, for it was sequestered from the road, and proprietor of the hotel, and all four started off to almost surrounded by rugged and thickly-wooded the nearest justice of the peace, to put John Doe, hills. At seven in the evening, every arrange- Richard Roe, Mr. Winkfield, Mr. Pinksitt, and meant had been made for the deadly meeting every body else connected with the deadly project thereat at five on the following morning, without inder immediate and heavy bonds to keep from other intended witnesses than the single second violating the peace as against each other, and the and such native birds of ill-omen as might be people of the State of New-York generally. In hovering about the spot at the time. vain Mr. Barnard tried to dissuade the others In less than an half-hour after he had arrived from this nonsensical idea. He already felt much at his hotel in Saratoga from the discharge of injured by Moses's slight in not seeking his aid, these melancholy duties, and in consequence of or at least inviting him to witness the combat. his efforts to appear nonchalant, his friend, the " It is all cursed foolishness," remonstrated he. fair belle of Long Island, began to conjecture that "They have secreted themselves. You can not he was suffering severely from an acute pain in find them,-even if you do get a magistrate. Bet- some part of his physical frame. In less than an ter occupy your time in endeavoring to find out hour, she discovered that he was not, and at once where it is going to be. We may be in time to began to'exhibit mingled symptoms of a woman's see it. I think it is a shame for Winkfield to curiosity and a lover's panic., treat me in this shabby way. But I'll be there "0 dear ! Edmund, what is the matter? Why, .yet I" how pale ou are I Heavens I you tremble. Oh I The irregular propensities of men are generally ar -oui daner?" put to beneficial account by the wise dispensations arNo, ino aPshaw ! it is nothing," replied the of Providence. It was through the profound artist forcedly. " The fact is, my dear Agnes, reasoning and indefatigable search, prompted by I have to be' absent a day or two for--for a Mr. Barnard's eccentric motives,- that Mr. Top.- fried." lady and the peace officers succeeded toward day.- "But you shan't go. Send papa. Who is the light next morning in discovering undoubted 131 MR. WINKFIELD. 105 traces of the place of meeting, perhaps, in time, by furious driving, to avert the deadly conflict. The sheriff prudently summoned aposse comitatus of five respectable citizens living adjacent to his office, and the whole party swelled by a volunteer surgeon in the person of the apothecary's appren- tice, and by fourteen loafers from different parts of the village, who somehow had mysteriously obtained wind of the affair, started off in wagons to the place; Mr. Toplady being very nervous, Mr. Titman very cold, and Mr. Barnard very afraid that they would not be in time. The latter had become so irritated at the delay, caused by the prudential measures of the shertff, as to repeat- edly express to that worthy officer, his desire to knock his head off for him. Though how that was going to expedite matters, we leave the read- er to conjecture. CHAPTER XLVII. THE LITTLE SETTLEMENTT BETWEEN OUR HERO, CAPTAIN GRIMBLE AND A THIRD PARTY, WHO THRUSTS HIMSELF INTO THE MATTER IN HAND ON HIs OWN ACCOUNT. IT is said that in times of great danger, with the prospect of extermination before a person's discernment, the faculty of memory is unusually active, and even the smallest events of one's pre- vious career, and particularly those of a peaceful and placid nature, are called in rapid succession before the consciousness. As Moses bade, per- haps, a lasting adieu to the quiet town of Plum- ville, and drove along in his solitary ride toward the place of meeting, he remembered many scenes of his previous life, especially of his early childhood, which probably would not have been otherwise easily recalled. The little generous sharing of.molasses candy and peanuts, which had so often delighted his infantile being at school, the applause of his friends at gaining the first prize for spelling, the Saturday holiday visits to the woods in company with Joe, the stable-boy- were among the number of these pleasing recol- lections. Speculations on that mysterious, in- scrutable subject of a future life also filled his mind, and the various perplexing doctrines of Stoics, Peripatetics, Christians, Jews, and Moham- medans, passed in rapid succession. Even the old horse before him shared with him his pen. siveness, and fell into a gloomy meditation upon the rude manner in which he had been torn from his oats, and the unseemly hour at which he was called upon to put his muscles into requisition. At last as our hero turned into-a lonely by-road, according to the directions of the artist, he des- cried that person in front of him awaiting his ap- proach. Every thing had been arranged by the forlorn painterin an adjoining field. The inex- orable captain was there, brim-full of increased wrath, and the most powerful microscope in ex- istence could in vain succeed in revealing the smallest hope of avoiding the conflict. Moses led his horse into an embowered thicket, and tied him. How he envied that honest hackney's lot at that moment I --The prospect of -spending a further day upon this earth, in feeding upon inferior timothy, and being driven thirty miles a day, by unfeeling pleasure-seekers, seemed heaven to him compared with his prospective destiny. He took a furtive moment's opportunity to essay to dissipate the involuntary agitation of his system, and followed the speechless artist 'n silence to the pasture. At one end thereof, near a little hillock, was his dreadful antagonist, walk- ing impatiently up and down, and in An adjoining field at the side, was a bull, who had been roused from his dewy lair, and stood in sleepy as- tonishment collecting his faculties, and gazing at the intrusion. No other specimens of vitality en- livened the scene. " Wha--where's Barnard ? Where is my- friend ?" asked Moses of the artist. " Never mind. He's not necessary. I'll-I'll see to every thing. Every thing will be right I" replied the artist, in much greater agitation than Moses.' "Cheer up. Every thing will be made straight directly. You'll see I" Moses internally agreed with the speaker. He felt confident that something or somebody would be made straight directly, but he did not know whether he would be the one left to see it. "Good GodI That fatal handkerchief!" cried the artist. "He has at last brought out, and is waving the handkerchief she left in your room. Oh! howl hate to see it I The wretch has been in- sanely nursing it in his bosom, as if it were the dearest object of his affections on earth, instead of a badge of shame, as he is going to make it, for himself." "But what is he waving it for?" asked Moses. " He's insane, crazy !" replied the artist. "It is to show that he defies you, thd laws of his country, and his God! The d--d wretch I" The marine was undoubtedly full of the fire of unquenched jealousy, for he still continued to madly toss the unfortunate article of his wife's wardrobe-in the air as our hero advanced into the field. But if he was insane with jealousy, there was another being near him, who had been gradually working himself into a similar state. The rights and prerogatives of feeding in one's own pastures, is one of the fundamental prince. ples of bovine as well as human nature, and moreover, it is just as worthy an object of excit- ing the passions, as the marital rights of the latter. Besides that, bulls don't like to have things waved in the air before them. It obscures their vision, causes a rush of blood to their heads, and a simultaneous rush of the owner of the head, upon the ofending object. With one dreadful snort and bound, lashing his sides in his new fury, the adjacent animal butted down the intervening fence, and charged down directly upon the heedless captain, "Save yourself! Save yourself!" cried our generous hero in alarm, as he observed the terrific bull's tearing pace and corkscrew tail. It was a small field, Moses and the artist threw themselves into the jungle on the side, and turning in hasty agitation, they saw the. bull come in contact with the captain, just as the latter had hurriedly stooped to carry off the case of weapons lying upon the ground near him. He was too late. The case of instruments was knocked from his hands to a distance of twenty feet, and the captain himself was knocked com- pletely over the fence near him into a scrub-bush, leaving the temporary supply of breath he had in the field from which he was so summarily ejected. The bull triumphantly snorted, tossed his horns, and thcn retreated. Moses and Mr. page: 106-107[View Page 106-107] 106 MR. WINKFIELD. rinksitt broke their way around through the of the bull, sufficiently to turn his attention again thicket to the captain. They found him insen- to the greater injury which he had conceived his sible. He still firmly clutched in one of his moral nature had received from our hero. For hands the fatal handkerchief. The artist stoop- once in his life, the latter felt inclined to wink at ed and took it from his grasp. the illustrious use of mendacity, for beside feel- "Good heavens! we are saved ." cried the ing it to be a stern military necessity, he felt that Artist in sudden agitation. "Even if the bull his antagonist would be cheated-only into his hasn't killed him! He will succumb on this !" own happiness. How weak a being is the man of ha"Gracious I But isn't it our duty to try and jealous nature I With the proof of the handker- restore the poor man ?11 exclaimed the humane chief gone, the captain was brow-beaten and Moses, supposing the artist's words referred to bullied out of any reliance upon his youthful the probable extermination, or at least perma- spy's statements, by the now thoroughly indig. nt-nt disability of his antagonistt, nant artist.' The idea of a man's, impugning his nen dsaptin ofehis eyes Moses bent wif' honor by bribery, and attempting t ke over him and endeavored to restore him to an his own life miserable throughithe hired espion- erect posture. "Where am IP" said he faintly. agre of negroes and ragged urchins! By such in- "Here!" put in the artist opportunely. dignant ejaculations as these of the artist, by his "Here among your friends, Captain Grimble. suggestions of the liability to :inistake or the I am your friend. Mr. Winkfield is your friend!" temptation to youthful natures o'f fraudulently "Eli ?" asked the marine, confusedly. "I am obtaining rewards, by" the lofty and innocent the victim of a conspiracy " bearing of Moses, and, above all, by the fear of h eNono a" continued the artist. "You will increasing the intensity of a prospective domestic be better presently. Only scratched a little, and row, when he returned home, the captain was you'll soon get your breath in trim. Come, sit up, led to back entirely out of his suspicions., Captain " "Young man, blast your eyes! It is all your "I1was taken midships. If I am not the vic- fault !" said he, addressing our hero. tim of a foul conspiracy,I'm damned '" said the "How my fault ?" asked Moses in astonish- latter, raising himself up in a weak manner. ment. D-n their eyes. '9-tWhy didn't you tell mn,,inksitt had been " He's recovering. le's all right. He's with you ts commencing to swear once more," said the "But I told you myself Captain, I had been artist., "And all can be explained now." there," interrupted the artist. "You were in "What?" asked our hero, whose misgivings such a rage you wouldn't believe me." were being renewed at the sight of the captain's " Well, you didn't say any thing about your recoverybloody handkerchief. It is your fault too. It is If the ebullition of expletives was to be taken the fault of both of you. But never mind. I as a sign of restoration to consciousness and respect your honor and bravery, young man. bodily soundneFs the Captainebegan to recover Shake hands, and we will hunt up and kill that very fast. For full ten minutes thereafter, be d-ned bull together, by - 1" caused Moses'sears to resound with his naval Notwithstanding the general agitation to which anathemas, and enchained his emotional nature his being had been subjected during the progress with astonishment at their novelty and expres- of the recent events, Moses cordially grasped the siveness. As they were mainly directed against proffered hand of his late antagonist, and per- the agent, instead of the principal of the sup- mitted his own to be shaken by the eccentric posed conspiracy, however, Moses felt a tempo- and gratified mariner. In less than three minutes raryreisrance. thereafter, as they were amicably'drinking from "Captain Grimble,"continued the artist. "You a flask together, the two combatants and the have been the victim of a foul conspiracy I Of common second were surrounded and arrested by circumstances and designing spiesvc" the fervent sheriff and his posse. The happy My port-side is badly injured," continued the solution of the difficulty was at once imparted to captain in marine soliloquy. "And my stern the crowd, much to the* relief of the worthy entirely carried away by the cowardly lubber Ppeace-officer, Mr. Toplady and Mr. Titman, and as "rLyCaptainrimble I That handkerchief you much to the dissatisfaction of Mr. Birnard, the found in Mr. Winkfield's room, is one I left apothecary's apprentice, and the rear-guard of there l It is mine 1" continued the artist in a village loafers. After vain entreaties from Mr. loud, distinct voice. Barnard to be permitted to place the men, to see- The captain's attention was again called from how they would look after a shot or two, accom- the bull by the artist's vehement manner. He panied by an.offer to get up that interesting spec- stared at the latter for a moment, and then utter- tacle himself with any of the parties present, and ed tIe Saxon synonym of that short but sublime an enthusiastic request from the ambitious stu- word, which Victor Hugo's captain did on the dent of medical science to have the professional lost field of Waterloo.0 privilege of bleeding Captain Grimble, the whole "Your handkerchief !" exclaimed our hero in party prepared to start back to Saiatoga. Mr. confusion. Barnard, still seeing nothing but ignobility in the "Yes. How luckyI It is one of mine she stupid termination of the affair, and feelingly re- happened to have borrowed-remember, I left it proaching Moses with the lack of friendship he in your room!" whispered the artist hastily. had shown toward him in the matter, magnan- "Remember it was I who left it in your room!" mously, offered to pitch into the sailor and thrash And this and other energetic prevarications he him on behalf of our hero; but as the latter felt continued to roar and stun in the captain's ears obliged to decline this kind offer, the pugnacious the insults and inri s recein from the horns q uarrel wth ted rimser the elef that MR. WINKFIELD. the efforts of these guardians of the peace were only a letsand hindrance to the fireeand enit ened pleasures of the community, and with the intimation that this one had, in improper cu riosity, insinuated his nose into the present affair, he more than once, on the way back, expressed to the indignant officer an extreme desire to pull that particular and well-defined organ of know- ledge for him. By the time they had reached the confines of Saratogra, the irritated gentleman had got to defying the whole posse conitat us, loafers in- cluded, and though( h they rather had the advantage of him in number, there is no doubt he would have commenced summary operations on them, if he had not been prevented by the entreaties and commands of Moses, Mi. Toplady, idTitian. Suffice it for us to say, in conclusion of this matter, that it forced our hero to shorten his in- tended stay at the watering place. Notwithstand. ing the earnest efforts of the parties to hush it up, it at once became known, and our hero be- came the lion of the place, not for his real posi- tion in the matter, but the very one of which the captain had suspected hun. People were burst- ing with curiosity to see him; the young ladies (in bevies) sought his society and admired his lofty bearing, and a number of gentlemen, who had a chronic indifference fdr their spouses, re- peatedly expressed a desire to introduce the new Don Giovanni nalgre lui to the bosom of their families, by invitations to ride with them, dine with them, and visit them in the city. - All this was extremely repugnant to Moses, especially when lie thought of the extreme pro- bability of these events and this new phase in his reputanon reaching the ears of Miss Wagbull. He resolved to hasten his acceptance of the re- peared invitation of her father to visit, during the season, his country-place in Vermont, on the beautiful banks of the Connecticut, and once there, to disclose, with Mr. Pinksitt's permission, the true facts of the case. As that gentleman felt his happiness was secured, as far as freedom from his late relations was concerned, he was too grateful to make any objection. Though upon his stating his doubts as to what he should next hear from the eccentric Mrs. Grimble, Moses sug- gested lie would do so only in case of necessity. To those who take an interest in the peculiar position of that lady, we may as well state that the worst of her case was over. She had learned that the artist really loved the country girl, and that was enough for her. To be sure, she was mad and furious, and several times thereafter rashly threatened an avowal to both her hus- band and Agnes, but she no longer -felt -the same energetic feelings toward the painter she formerly had experienced, and she was now en- abled by the eccentric strength of her character to permanently divert her feelings and thoughts from this somewhat romantic episode in her life, to the more proper interests of legitimately and fashionably ruling her own husband. CHAPTER XLVIII. MR. WINKFIELD AND HIS FRIENDS PROcEED TO MA, WAGnULL's COUNTRY-SEAT. 0ua hero's friends had been so often enter- tained by Mr. Wagbull in the city, that they grate-. fully resolved he should not sufferaforshaek of .society at his sequestered country-seat. Leaving the temporary pleasures of Saratoa the three high spirits started with Moses upon ai afternoon train toward Mr. Wagbull's estate. Upon tme train there were the usual characters-country- men with large feet and women with small babies; comieicial travelers, running for their employ- 0ers, including one who was running away from Ihis; a marble proprietor thinking of the iuiex- haustible irok in his quarry, a dyspeptic patient thiniiigof the iiiexhaustible rock in his stomach ; and( above ifl, the inquisitive Yankee, on the seat next behind you, who, after having used up with his qutaions the fat man on the seat beside him, turns his attention to you for the rest of the voy- age. At the Castleton depot, the antiquated por- ter of the village hotel, with a horse aid cart, ap- parently-older than himself, transported to the tavern for the night our party and their baggage, ingeniously overcoming his atmiinal's obstinate an- tipathy to locomotion by tying his nose in a bag of oats, and causing the deluded creature to chase them. The proprietor of the hotel was enjo3 ing the gentle game of euchre in the bar-rooin, and that lie might not neglect the village cronies with whom he was thus engaged, left the attendance of our party entirely to the porter. Owing to the chilly dampness of the evening, a brilliant fire had been humanely lighted for these worthies upon the bar-room hearth, but none in the parlor, another proof that the landlord's regard was for the friends who thus assisted him in enjoyi-g life at ls own expense, rather than ffor the guests who assisted him to enjoy it at theirs. Moses occupied the time until nine ,in writing in his chamber, and Mr. Toplady in reading a Ledger of the previous December by the fire in the bar- room, where Mr. Barnard had forced himself into the card-party and astounded the entire company by winning every game. Mr. Titman undertook a walk in the twilight with a bottle-nosed, white- hatted native, who was evidently suffering from a depression of spirits, for the professional purpose of examining the ancient church, and other speci- mens of Yankee architecture in the neighborhood. From this, howeve-, lie shortly returned, having been om'ercomne by the gloom of his cieeroie, who, over his wife's tombstone in- a lonely corner of the churchyard,'had asked for a small subscrip- tion toward renewing the inscription thereon, ani intimated suicide in case of disappointment. Whereat Mr. Titan, thinking murder more pre- sumptive, had abruptly fled from the spot. After tea, more village habitues of the tap dropped in, ostensibly to watch the game of cards, but really to await the opportunity of being invited to drink by the popular landlord. Upon these occasions, which were quite numerous during the evenimmg, they invariably endeavored to give an accidental appearance to the consummation of the longed-for event, by becomniig suddenly interested in, and laughing boisterously at some anecdote, which had passed unnoticed before. Presently one of these worthies, reminded by the clock of his con- jugal promise to be at home in an hour, irritatedly bewails the miseries of married life, and after a short and touching silence among them, another hepcedflow sardonically makes the remark:± gaJoe Fnge' gIn viso jmed to tm Thonmpson emboldened by these attacks upon the marriage page: 108-109[View Page 108-109] 109 - MR. WINK relation, perpetrates his witticism thereon, and is p quiet for a minute or two in his efforts to appear t] unaffected by it, though swelling visibly from its h internal effect, and looking around at various mdi- b viduals to observe its result upon them. Finally, unable to contain himself longer, he laughs violent- ly, and rising, goes outside for the purpose of recov- v ering himself. Then two or three of the henpecked a ones make the tremendous resolve that they will not go home till they get ready. Then there is aT pause in the game and another drink is taken. Then warmed. by the spirits imbibed, the jovial t host takes a chew of tobacco, and commences toa alternately expectorate and sing, in persistent I monotony, a pathetic ballad about some unfortu-v nate maiden, the whole party joining regularly in ( the chorus, which is some facile air of the day, t married to the immortal verse of "Dodle, dodle, dodle, chip chum, Tchl, tchooral lay lay V" At the conclusion of this affecting performances Moses, who has seen enough of village enjoyments,4 in company with Mr. Titman, does what Mr. Top- lady did two hours before, and retires, leaving Mr. Barnard actively engaged with great prospect of success, in bringing about a fight between two old fellows, who have got to disputing-about the rela- tive weight and beauty of their respective pigs. Finally, the September night in rayless majesty from her ebon throne looks down upon a slum- bering world. The next morning, after a delightful country breakfast, Brunswick arrived with the gentle- men's thick wardrobe, and the party then resumed the railroad for Chester, the nearest village to Mr. Wagbull's country-seat. As the train was not very remarkable for speed, Mr. Barnard en- deavored to relieve its tedium, by humorous re- quests to the indignant conductor for the privilege of getting off and picking some apples, promising to cut him off at the next bend, by smoking weeds in the baggage-car with Brunswick, and by riding upon the engine. Mr. Toplady -and Mr. Titman went to sleep, and Moses looked out upon the scenery. At a station where a freight train was awaiting the right to the road, Moses was much surprised by observing his diplomatic friend, Mr. De St. Beaut6, stand upon the roof of one of its cars in company with a brakeman. As. soon as he saw Moses, the attache immediately descended and entered the passenger train. "Ha! ha! You thought I was in a curious place, eh? But secrecy, my dear sir, secrecy. I've been to Canada, on this reciprocity hash, and was quietly on my way back," said that lively individual. "It is quite singular we should meet at this distance from the city, isn't it ?" said Moses. "Not at all! The first time I met Lord Strat- ford was in.Paris on the service, and I met him the second time on a mountain in Afghanistan as a tourist. He had ascended one side of the moun- tain, and I the other. He sat down on one side of the peak to cut a troublesome corn on the right foot, and I was engaged with one on my left, when we discovered each other. Positive fact, sir." " By heaven ! But you have traveled in Asia ?" continued Moses hastily. " Traveled! I have been thirty-three times on the overland route to India. 'I was drowned in the Red Sea once, thrown on shore, my body FIELD. kicked up by natives, robbed, carried on a camel hirty miles and sold to an Arabian medical phi- osopher before I came to. Ha! ha! you don't elieve the story, I suppose ?" "No, I don't," replied Moses. "Neither would the Arab philosopher who wanted to have the villagers stone me to death, )s a lying Christian, so he could get my body !" " How did you get out of it ?" asked Mr. Tit- man curiousif. "I brought my diplomatic training and logic to bear. I denied I was vitber liar or Christian, and offered to prove it to him. And he said he'd et me off,ifI did. So I told him if I said I was a Christian, I was a liar, or else I'd be no Christian in saying so, for according to his doc- trine, all Christians were liars.- And if I said I was a liar, I was no Christian, or else I would.be lying in saying so, or words to that effect. I told that to Motley and Sir Frederick Spruce, in Austria. We were taking an omelet together, souffpee au rhum. They laughed so, that they couldn't eat any more, and o-dered me to take it off." "What ! The omelet?" "What was I saying ? I mean they ordered it off-and took me up on the veracity of my anecdote." "You know Sir Frederick well?" asked Mr. Toplady. "Intimately-like you, a little, eh? Old bachelor-never seen any one he liked, or any one that liked him, ha! ha l" replied the diplo- mat vivaciously. " I met him once in Washington, sir. I am a mere acquaintance, sir, and as such, I do not feel authorized in alluding familiarly to his attri- butes, sir!" said Mr. Toplady, with great severity. "Neither do II Any more than I would to yours, for instance. I know the respect due to age, of course, sir. But the fair sex, you know, will look for personal beauty. You are aware of their fas- tidiousness, no doubt, from your own experience, eh ?", That Mr. Toplady's indignation was materially increased by these remarks, appeared in the look of searching intensity which he bestowed on the jocular diplomat thereat. As it seemed entirely lost upon the latter, however, it gradually disap- peared from Mr. Toplady's countenance. "By the way, how far down do you go to-day ?" asked the attache, of Moses carelessly. "We are going to stop at Chester," replied Moses. " Singular thing! Another coincidence; I was gomg to stop there too I" Here the conductor collected the tickets, and Mr. De St. Beaut6 produced his. " This is a pass for freight trains only !" said the conductor, examining it. "Very well, you can come back presently and I'll settle the fare, I am engaged in conversation now. Yes, I thought of stopping a day or two at Chester, Winkfield." "I am happy to hear it. We are going to a country-seat near there-and-" " We may meet again before I leave. Yes !" continued the diplomat. " Though I've sent my baggage with my servant as far as Springfield-. And a most amusirig thing, just before Ilft, I1 changed my pantaloons and sent them, pocket- book and all, ahead. Ha ! ha ! I haven't a cent MR. WIN with me, a diplomat in distress!I By the way, suppose you favor me with twenty dollars for the moment, Winkfield." . "I will, if I have it," replied Moses, with a momentary serious air, "Certainly." " Exquisite practical joke on myself, eh ?" con- tinued the diplomat, laughing vociferously as he took the money. "Ha! ha! I pant for my pants! I long to go along !" Moses did not feel much inclined to laugh at these witticisms, and as for the exquisite practical joke, if it was played on any one, it appeared to be on himself. However, he now recovered his feelings, an4l listened with much philosophical pleasure to his lively acquaintance, who continued to rattle on with his diplomatic. anecdotes or to criticize the peculiarities of the various passen- gers in the car. "See that unpleasant old gen- tleman over there quarreling with his neighbor about having the window up. He is a retired merchant, with nothing to do but to go about and fight in this way to pass his time. And that individual just ahead of him with the whiskers. He is a Bostonian, drawing his head into his shoulders and trying to pass himself off as an Englishman without any neck. I have a great knowledge of nationalities, sir. That old lady there, with the cat shut up in a flower-pot, I'd swear her father was a Scotchman, and her mother a North of Ireland woman, by the way she sneezes, taking snuff!" And so he went on until the train arrived at Chester, pleasing Moses very much with his judgment of human nature, and his diplomatic experience, while his lively exaggerations and sociability made him a very agreeable companion to the others. Even Mr. Toplady felt authorized to smile at his familiarities, as long as they were not with his own properties and attributes. Mr. Wagbull and the Irish boy were awaiting them at the depot. The former greeted them heartily, and the latter grinned with pleasure at seeing our hero. Upon learning that Mr. De St. Beauty was 'an acquaintance of Moses, and at leisure, Mr. Wagbull insisted upon the pleasure of his society, too, at the country-seat, and the affable attach, without much reluctance, con- sented to furnish it at once. They passed over a beautiful road winding along the bank of the river, and at last came in sight of the fine man- sion of Mr. Wagbull, placed.on a terrace at some distance from the stream, with a lawn in front, a grove-of trees at one side, and a commanding view on the other, according to the true rules of landscape art. The house was of the class styled follies, though perhaps, the only folly con- nected with it, was the proprietor's supposition that the admiration of his neighbors would over- come their natural propensity to the billingsgate of envy in talking about it. Winding up to the- terrace, Moses saw ladies and gentlemen upon the lawn, and, in particular, one beautiful face which sent a thrill of joy to his heart. -CHAPTER XLIX. Moss AND HIS ParzNDS RocEED To nm goy Tnn -HOSPITALITY OP "THE FOLLY. ' How muck more delightful, thought Moses, in observing the gayety which reigned at " The FIELD. 109 Folly," how much more delightful to pass the summer in this rational manner than to expend it in the innumerable dress-parades of fashionable watering-placesI A healthy excitement is ob- tained, to which there is no reaction of lassitude or spleen, in the wooing of nature instead of art and to a person of his feelings we may add, what ecstasy is there greater or more tranquil withal, than that which is offered in the walks amid nodding groves, the mossy seat beneath the shady beech-tree with the dearest of friends, or the proud defense of the timid female against the sinister-looking cows. And so thought Mr. Titman, as his eyes met the glances of a tall young lady, a distant relation of Miss Wagbull. As for Mr. Barnard, the promised shooting and fishing, the stables and capital dinners, furnished food enough for his hopes. But we are sorry to say that Mr. Toplady did not partake of the others' satisfaction. Miss De Pompenkops, the proud descendant of the ancient Dutch horticultural aristocracy, was one of the guests, and not oily she, but also the easy, tranquil Mr. Beckman- bobuts. The very first sight Mr. Toplady caught, on his entrance into the grounds of the house, was that of Mr. Beekman delicately ad- justing a field-glass to enable her to examine a horse-fly in the air, which she had taken to be an eagle, swooping from his mountain eyrie. We will not say what his exact sensations were at that moment. Suffice it to say, that he com- menced at once looking through a magnifying- glass too, the distorting instrument of jealousy, despair, murder, madness, suicide, and general dizziness of morals. Miss Do Pompenkops re- ceived him upon the piazza quite cordially, and the fosterer of the noble whiskers courteously shook his hand; but it seemed to him as though the reception of the one were the pitying friendship for misplaced hope, and the other, the magnani- mous friendship of successful rivalry. Mr. St. Beauty met. with general favor. .He had in- stantly ingratiated himself with Mr. Wagbull by his profound knowledge of international relations and if lie, felt his tenure was uncertain in any place, he was aware the one he was in at the mo- ment was just as good as any other. Etigaging manners and self-possession are but small social weapons, compared with the great gun of per- sistent flattery. This is no gift, but an acquire- ment. Every one is certainly satirical at times and precisely the same formulas are used in com- pliment as in sarcasm, but the one is genial and the other is not; Mr. St. Beauty, with great good sense, concluded it was just as easy and vastly better to flatter than to ridicule. In particular was he judicious, in insinuating the possession by his pleased victims.of faculties and other gifts of nature which they did not have. His official travels had stocked his memory-with many amusing personal anecdotes, he was a fine judge of cooking, no dish but he knew the name of, and he seemed a good one of wines. The dis- play of these accomplishments constitutes half of the science of diplomacy as viewed by outsiders. The other half consists in having mysterious and unintelligible views of public events. And certainly he here succeeded admirably ; for in vain did our hero, Mr. Wagbull, or any one else, essay more than a half-dozena sentences with liini upon such subjects, before they were completely overpowered with admiration at, and compelled to page: 110-111[View Page 110-111] MR. WINKFIELD withdraw for meditation upon, the wonderful con- cealment into which he generally managed to crrry his views. Language with him was the diplomatic strong-box in which at once to pre- serve and hide his ideas. What a sublime scene is a country gentleman's dinner-table I As words can not describe, we ad. vise our readers to assist at one. When Moses took his seat at Mr. Wagbull's board, on the evening of his arrival, he thought that the god- dess of plenty and of taste had at last made an amicable arrangement to appear for once to- gether. Ile was seated between Miss Wagbull az d her romantic confident, Miss R'ushton, of Bos- ton, whose'visit was the result of a pressing en- treaty of the former, comprised in a short letter of forty-seven pages, each page presenting the appearance of a No. 22, Ames's Sieve, No. 1 be- in" the largest woven size, The impression which Moses's appearance and bearing tmade upon her, had been duly imparted to Miss Wag- bull at the moment of his arrival, in an agitate: whisper of the words, " Beautiful creature !" The grandmother was also present, and the im- pression which his arrival made upon her, was now conveyed in another whisper, loud enough to be heard all over the table, "What !' that ninny here ?" The aged antagonist had expressly foregone her customary habit of taking her even- ing meal in bed, to appear in ovel whelming ma- j-sty at the table for the purpose of crushing him. Mr. Wagbull, surrounded by Mr. Toplady, Mr. St. Beaut6, and others, including the member of Congress from the district, a portly heavy per- sonage, was in great glory at the foot, occupying himself with the-sublime art of carving, and with discussions of national and foreign affairs. " What do you think, Mr. S'boaty," said he, after he had assisted that diplomatic genius to the wing of a fowl, "of Metternich's doctrines of government? You diplomatists are wedded to t'tc divine right of kings, no doubt, but can the European governments be compared with the profound yet simple system which guides the re- publican in his enlightened views of internal and international comity, tending to the direct ad- vancement of the sound civilization of one of the most enlightened policies, aimed at by one of the most profotud yet simple systems, which-when -as I might say-" ' Certainly, sir. Your views are extremely correct and chaste, my lord. Pardon me, I mean my onerouss host," replied Mr. De St. Beaute. "And if you will but observe, Mr. Wagbull, you will see from close scrutiny that in these-these European h'ashes-ha! ha !-there is too much unnecessary pepper, to use a phrase more usually applied to the culinarial apartment, ha! ha ! Ia! First class red is a good- ingredient, but apply with judiciousiness and stir till well nixed. If before being cooked, an egg or two well beaten b-but I forget myself. The rest doesn't ap- ply, does it? Ha! ha !" Very good. Very good, indeed," replied thet worthy host. "But in stating it in a brief and concise manner, I was somewhat anxious to ob- tain from one so well versed as you, the senti ments which you entertain thereupon. In fact, whether you are for the European or time moren enlightened American system which-..-" "Ahi very true. Tlhe Amtericasn system in more enlightened, perhaps. But don't undrstanm me as rejecting the European. No, no, indeed Prejudice of birth, you know, must have its way Old tastes must be suited, ha! ha! I believe what's his name, Metternichs himself, has observed that in his essay or disquisition upon the nature of the fundamental principlesI", "And he is wrong, sir," interrupted the mem- ber of Congress, with flabby impressiveness. " As a man and an American, sir, I deprecate the European system, whether advocated by him or any other man, as extremely pernicious to liberty,' sir, and pronounce it a Machiavellian nuisance to humanity, sir. I do." "Nuisance, sir ! I can not agree with you upon that point. Not at all. As to its being pernicious, we must necessarily distinguish !" "Eli? But how do you distinguish, sir, and what ?" asked the member of Congress pom- pously. Mr. Barnard was listening to the conversation with great eagerness. His opinion was, that it hid already begun to partake of the nature of what he would desig nate as a "high old discus- sion,"'and from his looks, it was quite evident he was much interested in its issue. " Let us understand each other, sir," continued the lively diplomatist. "Of course, I would not undertake to dispute your enlightened views, Sir Henry, I beg pardon, Me. Buxter. Not at all. Not at all. Pernicious, I dessay. But a nuisance, sacre, as a Frenchman, I say no. I will gener. ously accord you one half of your blarsted posi- tion." "Hey? One half?" said the member of Con- dress staring at the other. "But permit me to ask you, sir, what you can think of a system which-" " Ahl! that is it. Allow me to recall to your memory the chapter of the same-same distin- guished author and diplomatist, Nicks-old Nicks we young diplomatists call him, ha! ha! Read the chapter of his work, sir, where he treats of that point in particular, and, I dessay, you will see you must grant every one of 'te statements he proves in it." "That is so. That is so!" said Mr. Barnard, rubbing his hands and edging on the eccentric diplomatist. "That can't be denied, at least. (This cockneyfied Frernchman knows as much on the subject as old Foozle does, at any rate!)" " But the point! Vhat is the point, sir ? Let us know what the point is, sir !" exclaimed the member of Congress, with, perhaps, justifiable rimpatience. "I, for one, do not understand what it is!" " Ha ! h i! I have no doubt of that," returned the diplomatist. "You have doubtless forgotten the chapter or what is more likely, I dessay never read it. Nonzdjemw/ Allow me to recall the principal points of that sublime portion of his Views, where, in quoting .his fellow-cotemporary -the great and illustrious party, who wrote on the American system, in reply to his-" . " Ah ! I eve," continued the member of Con- gress, looking around. "At last, I see! De Toequeville, I presume you refer to, sir !" "The very person. De Talkwell, as we young. er diplomatists call him, ha! ha I In reply to his remarks where Ihe so ably describes thme insstitu- tio~ns to be such ail snch, you know, in point of sfact, just as he states, in comes Nicks, excuse my dI playful abbreviation, and immediately proceeds t 1 to reply by proving that all institutions of that on, affording great amusement to the other guests kind are such and such, you know. How ele- as much by'his good-humor as by his voluble re- gantly that chapter is written! and you must now lation of personal anecdotes, which Mr. Titan grant it is unanswerable. I may have changed deemed so interesting as to take furtive notes of the exact language of both somewhat; but still them, and at which the country gentlemen present in main I give you the ideas !" repeatedly punched each other to express their "You refer to De Tocqueville's general stric- emphatic delight. And as the illustrious member tures, I presume. Very well; it is just here I of Congress was rapidly getting drunk to console wish to arrest you." himself for his recent exasperation, we may re- " Eh!" exclaimed the diplomat, with a start. gard tAe young attAch6 as the cause even of his "It is upon that head I wish to attack you, enjoyment. In the mean time, at a secure distance and I think I can refute you." from the venerable but high-spirited grandmother, "Oh ! you merely attack me on the head, do Moses was conversing with Bessie's confident, you?" replied the diplomatist, resuming his Miss Rushton, of Boston, who whispered to him her warmth. readiness t9 plot with him at a moment's notice, "Yes, I do. The strictures of De Tocqueville, and proceeded to minutely relate the details of I grant you, may seem just and impartial, sir ; but four cases of match-making in which she had a I deny them, deny them in toto, sir !" darkling hand, and of which Moses incidentally "Very well. What of that. It seems really, learned three resulted in failure, and the fourth sir, you not only prove nothing yourself, but you in something worse. can't see that any one else does ! Blarst it ! After a refreshing walk upon the lawn, and a Sacre ! a very amusing way of reasoning truly !" scamper to the house before a rowdy thunder- "Allow me to observe, sir," replied the mem- shower, music enlivened the drawing-room. Miss ber of Congress, rather hastily, "that I know Wagbull sung a sweet air, Miss Rushton perform- what I assert, sir, ed a brilliant fantasia, and at its close Mr. Tit- "Very well, I must say, if you know only man who had been lying during the shower, in what you assert, you know extremely little, sir," suffocated insulation between two feather beds, ap- replied the diplomatist with increased jocularity. feared modestly at the door with hi rducordeon in S Ha! ha ! exclaimed Mr. Barnard. his hand. A general exclamation applauded the "Very well, very well, sir. You have cited discovery which he thus made of his accomplish- certain authorities for your points. Those points ment, and a duet from Norma with Miss Rushton I deny, and as to your opinions thereon, they are ensued. The performance was exciting, espe. easily pulverized, and shedd to atoms, as they cially as it soon resolved itself iito a trial of speed. will now be by me, sir, t once !" said the mem. Sometimes Mr. Titman was ahead in the contest, ber of Congress in a rage. sometimes the two 'were neck and neck, to use a "Well, I might put yours in turn through the phrase of the turf, and sometimes the young lady same-process, if they were not already too small advanced a little, but it ended in favor bf the no- to be pulverized, ha! ha! I think I have him cordeonist, the young lady coming in at least four there !" continued the diplomatist in great pleas. bars behind. Great applause followed the effort, antry. "I have, I think, properly done his cake and led on by his success, Mr. Titman followed brown, and frosted it, ha! ha!" up that by volunteering respecting an old man, "Ahem. This is dreadful, dreadful, sir. You who had simultaneously become a widower and a are extremely ignorant, sir, and your European lunatic, an affecting ballad, which Mr. Barnard prejudices-" would not permit the little gentleman to finish, as "11beg of you, gentlemen," interrupted the he took violent exception to the lues, host, "moderate ourselvess" "Your vile, abject admiration of the infamous "hTe snow Is enray aged head edicts of despotism, your-" But the fre Is in my breast, " One moment !" entreated Mr. Wagbull on the ground that the fire would have certainly hastily. melted the snow, and the whole thing was not "Your obsequious groveling, and stipendiary natural. The enjoyment of the dance closed the enslavement to the yoke of hereditary vassalage, evening, of which not among the least entertain. accompanied by your blustering assurance ing features were the gallant but arduous efforts have-- of the country gentlemen present to cut the "One moment !" roared Mr. Wagbufl in paci- pigeon's wing, to perform the double-shuffle, and fication. "Mr. Buxter, allow me a gl tss of wine to execute other ancient and intricate figures, all with you." of which they successfully accomplished with I was about to observe that any further dis- agonized countenances to the intense diversion cussion with you would be extremely uninstruc- of the assembly, excepting one or two gentlemen, tive, sir, very!" said the methber of Congress en- who had never seen the thing before, and were deavoring to feign composure in this dignified re- taken ill during the performance. Mr. Wagbull mark, and concealing his rage by heavy draughts also endeavored to revive his old recollections, from his goblet. and might be seen at various times bobbing up "Ha ! ha! I knew you would give in. I think and down in his place in the cotillion and smiling I rather had him, oh ?" said the diplomatist, turn- blandly upon his partner, or courteously hand. ing to the delighted Barnard. "I roasted his ing her across the set with minuet steps. Bruns- goose for him, I think. But I had to do it lie wick assisted Timothy in distributing the ices, attacked Metternichs. I was frequently at Mrs. and from the number of times he put his hand to Nicks's soirees when in Europe with the embassy, his face to hide an irrepressible smile, or politely Fraedsyup fo h a e, you know, Msr. Top- retired- to the hall to laugh, it maybi fre 7. that he also enjoyed the above performances Atnd so the lively gentleman continued to rattle amazingly. The Irish boy, who was laboring; un- MR. WINKP4JELD. 111 page: 112-113[View Page 112-113] 112 MR. WINKFIELD. der the belief that our, hero's domestic was a near relative of the sable Prince of Morocco, whom he had- seen in a very pretty play at the Bowery Theater with gold caskets and lots of shining things in it, looked at him with some awe, and received the frequent punchings from him for inattention rather as friendly favors than. otherwise. CHAPTER L. MR. TOPLADY AND MR. TITMAN PENETRATE INTO HIDDEN BAcK-cOUNTRIEs. THE WAY IN WHICH THEY SET OUT, AND THE WAY IN WHICH THEY RETURNED FROM THEIR EXPLORATION. BAcK from Mr. Wagbull's estate, in a secluded and sparsely-settled township, there was a beau- tiful lake to which it was suggested by Mr. Wag- bull that his guests should pay a day's visit. There were boats on the pond, owned by a neigh- boring farmer, who let them to picnic parties, and to secure these properly prepared for the day, Mr. Titman volunteered, induced by the hu morous accounts he had heard of the primitive habits of the natives, and persuaded Mr. Top lady, who was disposed to try the effect of ab sence upon Miss De Pompenkops, to accompan) him. As the proposed drive was a lengthy an hilly one, requiring great equine toughness, an as Mr. Titman intimated to the hostler that h( was an experienced driver, that official very judi ciously gave them an animal whose nature h felt had been properly hardened to such trials being one which Mr. Wagbull in eccentric human ity had lately rescued from an omnibus establish meant in the city. The animal and vehicle no' stood ready at the piazza, and we question which of the two stood the stillest. It was a remark able horse. Not a motion could be detected i any part of his sytem, and with the exception o his eyes, he looked more like a grotesque woode image than a live being. Those organs, however made up for any deficiency of animation an3 where else. Such a dreadful look, lowering sid wise at the piazza i That horse was a demon,-onl awaiting some such opportunity as this to wipe ou the long series of cruelties and hardships which h had endured at the hand of man, by wiping ou those who might be riding behind him. Titma made several easy witticisms at the "old horse's expense, at which we might conclude the animL indulged in a horse-laugh, if that intense look malignity which lay in the depths of his hal closed eyes did not utterly forbid it. But to pr ceed. The ladies and gentlemen, crowding upon ti piazza, congratulated the two gentlemen up( having safely placed -themse.ves and the lu cheon in the buggy, and the excursionists we about starting, when Mr. Toplady withheld M Titman's hand, and, feigning an air of concern asked, " Will he shy ?" whereupon the air w rent with laughter from all parties present. Ha ing accomplished this innocent pleasantry, t unsuspecting gentleman ordered his compani to drive off. On the road, Mr. Titman soon I gan to manifest that he was any thing but an perienced driver, and Mr. Toplady discovered, the same time, that the horse not only s,hied, b seemed to pick out the most dangerous places the road for that interesting operation. The road was a very rough one, and in many parts passed over exceedingly narrow spots, bounded on one side by deep ravines, and on the other by natural walls of granite. Even at this early stage, Mr. Toplady got into a chronic state of alarm, and more than once expressed a pettish wish that he had not come, which only seemed to increase Mr. Titman's incapacity. The horse's mouth was a very hard one, and Mr. Titman was in constant fear of losing the reins from a truly fearful habit which the animal bad of throwing his head back at unsuspected moments, and jerking at the rib- bons with tremendous force. It was quite evident that no amount of flattery could alter the settled antipathy which he had to proceeding in an order- ly manner. So Mr. Titman, with the assistance of Mr. Toplady, judiciously tied the ends of the reins firmly about a bag of oats beneath the seat, as a kind of anchor in case of distress. Con- siderable time was lost by the necessary care at- tendant on the increasing bad behavior of the beast, and as they lost their way repeatedly, and were constantly getting into lanes, which led to - some mountain barn, pasture, or nowhere, it was fully noon before they succeeded in approaching - their destination. - As a compromise measure, natural to the eco- nomical habits of early times, the primitive in. I habitants of the two villages of Wolsley and d lalsted had erected a common house of worship e on the boundary line of both, and full three miles - distant from either. The church stood upon the e pinnacle of a tremendous hill, from which a long , view of the heavens, the noble lake, and the sur- - rounding groves, in which the Indians once - lurked, might be had. Still further on the road, w the voyagers had ascertained to be the dwelling- h place of the individual, who united the guardian- i- ship of the meeting-house with the pursuit of n agriculture and the extraction of fish from the Df lake. Mr. Titman congratulated his friend and n his arms on their approach to the neighborhood, r, and their spirits once more rose as they mounted y- the higp hill of promise. As they descended on e- the other side, Mr. Titman relaxed his precaution, y for the animal himself seemed to have business at enough in attending to the rolling stones in the ie washed road. It was the great mistake of the ut excursion, and the extraordinary care which the n horse was manifesting was only a gross piece of " equine deception. As they approached the bottom al of the hill, and just as Mr. Titifan was uttering of an exclamation of satisfaction thereat, the animal If- started off- at lightning speed. At one side of o- the road stood a barn, sunk below the level of the highway, with its gable end turned toward lie the latter, and in it, convenient for the storage of on hay and other produce in the barn-loft, was a n- window. This window was open, and through it re Mr. Titman was presently transferred from the fr. vehicle, bead foremost and with great precipitan- *n, cy, into the hay, which filled the interior. The as immediate cause of this was a simple but lucid v- movement of the horse in his mad career, by he which one of the froi t-wheels was twisted be- on- neath the body of the uggy, and the other upon be- a boulder lying upon the distant side of the road; ex- the carriage .being parted i the middle, both at shafts being broken, and the triumphant oper- ut ator of the movement being freed .entirely from in the traces. In the midst of the crisis, Mr. Top- I MR. WINKFIELD. 113 lady very wisely essayed to dismount from the "We wish to procure assistance," continued vehicle upon his side. He made the attempt, and Mr. Toplady. "We have been unfortunate, was compelled by the terrible momentum, result- and-" ng from the abrupt breaking of the vehicle, to "Will some bread and cold meat do you?" in- turn a rapid summerset, in which he became dis- terrupted the female timidly. ordered both in mind and person, and was made "My dear woman, you mistake," cried Mr. to bleed freely from the nose and swallow, nuch Toplady hurriedly. "We don't wish food, but--" dirt from the highway. He sat up in bewilder- "Well, then, you had better go on. You can't meant upon the road, just in time to receive a se- have lodgings here," interrupted the woman at vere bite in the shoulder from the equine humor- once, and with these words she precipitately ist, when the latter started for a new and inac- -slammed the door upon their astonished faces, cessible home, which the adjacent mountainous and immediately locked it. region afforded him, and to which he at once re- "Good gracious, what does this mean ?" in- paired through the graveyard, with the bag of quired the surprised Mr. Toplady of the equally oats tied to his tail. The, yell of anguish which surprised Mr, Titman. the insertion of the horse's teeth in his person " What inhospitality 1" exclaimed the latter. elicited from the unfortunate Toplady was very A short moment elapsed and then the blinds loud, but it failed to bring either Mr. Titman or of the second-story window were opened and a any one else tothe rescue. The poor gentleman pair of black eyes were seen peeping through the stanched the- sanguinary stream which flowed crack at them, and also two smaller pairs lower from his nose, felt of his person to be assured down. Immediately after this, a loaf of bread, that no bones were broken, and then gazed in con- thrown without comment at them from the win- fusion upon the surrounding scenery. He thought dow, struck Mr. Titman on the head, and the repiningly upon this last addition to the nume- blinds were closed again. These movements were rous scenes of earthly turmoil to which he had succeeded by the noise of a small contest in the been subjected since he had come out for a second chamber, and the audible cries of "Don't, grand- time 'in society-an institution which he now dad! Don't go near them!" From whichit was more than ever considered as hardly repaying evident there was a patriarch in the house. A the cost and trouble of supportig. The sum- pair of rheumy eyes appeared at the blinds, as if merset which he had turned he conceived he had" making a reconnoissance of the numbers and turned m upholding that institution; his blood strength of the enemy, and then a venerable per- had flowed to sustain it. The dirt which he had sonage, throwing open the shutters, boldly dis- swallowed had been swallowed in the same doubt- closed his attenuated form at the window. ful cause. Who shall then blame him if he pro- "Go away, ye. tories !" cried he. " I'm a rev- ceeded to condemn it even in profane terms, and olutioner, I'd let ye know. Go off. Disperse, ye lamented the hour he made a second essay in it ? tories !" He was aroused from his bitter meditation by a "But, my dear sir, we have business witl. cry from the hay-loft, and proceeded to his equal- you," exclaimed Mr. Toplady. "Wthave come ly unfortunate companion's aid. le discovered for the keys of the boats in your possession, and it was but the cry of restoration from semi-suffo- we have broken down and wish your assistance !" cation, for Mr. Titman met him at the door of This explanatory speech was thrown away, for the barn to joyfully congratulate him on their es- the old gentleman was deaf as a post. le com- cape from an ignominious extermination. menced to wave a fire-shovel in defiance at them. . Where-where is the horse ?" asked the lit- "Good God! they can not think we are thieves tle man. or beggars !" said Mr. Toplady in irritation. "D-n him!" exclaimed Mr. Toplady, explo- " Impossible!" replied Mr. Titnian. sively. " Here, woman ! Where is your husband ?" "I am glad he is, gone !" said Mr. Titman. roared Toplady angrily. "I've business with "Really glad." him !" "It is my opinion, Titman," continued Mr. The garrison had ceased to parley. It was Toplady after a moment's silence, in -which they anxiously awaiting the succor of the individual had been ruefully gazing at the wreck, "that referred to by Mr. Toplady. To add to the disa- horse is an ass !" greeableness of the situation, it commenced to "What a pity these animals couldn't tell us rain quite smartly. The besieging army at once beforehand, when they're going to serve us such bivouacked upon the front-porch .and held a dis- tricks. We might then get out, before they com- gusted consultation upon the best means of re- mnence. There is no use trying to catch him, I ducing the impromptu fort. A scraping noise suppose," continued Mr. Titman despondently. was soon heard at the postern. The boy, who "No, let him go and let us walk on and find had been dispatched to the fields for his father, the house. We must procure assistance." had arrived with the succor, just in time to ar- They proceeded down the road toward the rest a desperate sally contemplated by the revolu- house, which after a quarter of a mile walk, they tionary soldier with his fire-shovel. reached. A woman answered their knock there- "Hullo, wife, what's matter here? What do at, wiping her hands upon her apron as she ap- you want, friends " inquired a burly, honest- Peared at the door, and followed by two children looking man, appearing at once at the front. peeping timidly from behind her. "My dear sir, we want to see you," replied Mr. "Can we see the head of the family for a mo- Toplady. "We were coming here, when we Ment ?" asked Mr. Toplady importantly. broke down on the road just by the church, and The woman hastily eyed their dusty and torn we wished to procure assistance when your wife~ Clothes. in the most remarkable and unheard-of manner, "Wa-all, I do' know. What do you warnt ?" supposed we were--" asked she. " Oh! I see. The woman's a leetle mistaken, page: 114-115[View Page 114-115] 114 MR. WINK eh? hey! hey !" continued the farmer, laughing.T " Walk in, friends. You needn't think you an't T welcome, because you be Jews. I spose you hi spilt your goods now, hey! hey !" I "Good God! Jews ! This is the resultof having a Roman nose. We are not peddlers nor thieves, n sir!" said Mr. Toplady raising his voice in re- ti newed irritation. "We are guests of Mr. Wag- bull on the river, and we came on his behalf to " secure your boats for the day after to-morrow !" e "Very well, I am not deaf, though dad is, hey! hey! Walk right in and sot down. Here, you, g Webster and Johnny, go out of the settin-room s( to wonst. Wife put on the kettle, p'raps the men would like suthin'." p Confidence was thus restored, and Mr. Toplady c at once entered into a thorough narration of the v ride, its object, and its catastrophe, during which r Mr. Titman took an interesting survey of the room. The floor was partly covered with a gor- s geous carpet, composed of the debris of the" breeches, and other habiliments of the family for h the last two generations, and the handiwork of d the industrious good-wife herself. The usual o asparagus branches had not yet- been removed i from the painted fire-place, two large conch-shellsi and four brass candlesticks adorned the mantel-u -piece, and a stunning picture of Ajax and Achilles hung on the wall, supposed by the natives, on there undoubted authority of the grandfather, to be General Washington and Lord Cornwallis, in thec new undress uniform adopted just after he left the army.! The old gentleman, noticing Mr. Titman's ar- tistic stare at this illustrious print, at once pro-, ceeded to entertain the latter with a long andE rambling story of revolutionary times full of pith and anecdote, but principally bearing upon theI outrageous fact that he never yet had received but eleven dollars of his pension, a dollar a-piece from as many agents, whom he had authorized to collect the same, at various periods since the close of the war. He hoped Mr. Titman would endeavor to procure some information for him on the matter. The latter impulsively promised he would, and continued he, " Is the Commissioner of Pensions, an unconscious instrument of such villainy as this in his bureau, or is he playing himself in this way !" "Yes, as a fifer for four year'n more," replied the, old gentleman, staring hard at Mr. Titman, after the manner of deaf persons, and' watching the motion of the latter's lips. " Ah, You were a musicians,?" said thelatter, raising his voice. "I was wounded and taken prisoner at Still- water," continued the old gentleman, partly at random. "Honor be to all such patriots, who defended their country in its hour of peril !" cried Mr. Tit- man, in a louder key. "Eh? I am a little hard of hearing," replied the old gentleman. . "1I say, honor be to all such patriots, who de- fended their country in its hour of peril!" re- iterated Mr. Titman, still louder. Rh"? I am a little hard of hearing, and-" *' I say, honor be to all such patriots !" roared Mr. Titman, " who have-" "REh?- I am a little deaf, you know, and what did you say' ?n" YIELD. "Oh! never mind. Nothing!" replied Mr. itman, with perhaps a tinge of indignation at is ardent phrase being lost on the old gentle- an. "Ha! ha! Yes. A good joke; but it was A joke to me ! It hurt me like sixty!" con- nued the latter. (" Ah ! He thinks I alluded to his wound !") In what part of your person were you wound. d, sir ?" again vociferated Mr. Titman. "Hey? Yes. Left behind !" replied the old entleman. "Yes. I couldn't walk at all, ye ee. I couldn't get away ." Mr. Toplady here called to Mr. Titman: "How rovoking, Titman ! Mr. Staples has a horse he an loan us, but no vehicle," said be; and the village we came through was away out of our oad 1" "Yes. You oughter struck for the church, straight from the sa-outh !" replied Mr. Staples. Ye see, I lent my carryall to my cousin, and I aven't any thing but a hay-wagon, but you can't lo nothin' with that. Them Millerites on the ther side of the pond have got a buggy, but it s a mighty ways ra-ound, and they won't lend nothin' 'cept to people who are ready to go up V1 " Go up !" exclaimed-Mr. Toplady and Mr. Tit- man together. "What do you mean by that-. "Go up to Moses! They believe Millennium is common', hey! hey !" " They don't expect to go up, as you call it, in a buggy, do they ? asked Mr. Toplady, with a grim smile. " No, as they belong to the sulky family them- selves !" said Mr. Titman, laughing very heartily. Here the natural association of ideas in the farmer's mind reminded him that he did have another vehicle under his control. It was on the ground floor of the little barn, near the meet- ing.house. If they were not very squeamish, he'd let 'em have it. By going the short cut they would save five miles, and as the road was pretty much free from houses, no one would see them. It was better than riding three failes in the rain to the village to get a carriage. "Squeamish! Not at all, as long as it will run," said Mr. Toplady. What kind of vehicle is it?" " It is the meetin'-house hearse," replied the bluff farmer and callous sexton; "and I greased it last week." " Good God !" exclaimed Mr. Toplady and Mr. Titman -in unison. "It lo good and strong, and there is room enough on the seat for two. That is, I think so. But you'd better stay all night. Ulysses will be to home with the wagon to-morrow." Mr. Toplady and Mr. Titman looked at each other. The thought of the festivities at Mr. Wagbull's and the probable alarm of Mr. Wink- field, if they should thus prolong their absence, suggested itself to both. In .desperation, the made up their minds ; and so the farmer le i horse, a docile animal, to the quasi-barn, or hearse-house. With acapacious cotton umbrella, which the-kind housewife loaned to them, and after many. substantial thanks to her and her husband and the accomplishment of the original mission, our voyagers soon set out on their home- ward journey. There was hardly room for two on the seat of the vehicle, but, with the umbrela to MR. WI shelter them from the rain, and their spirits buoyed up by the oddity of the thing, they started off in an extremely lively manner, Mr. Titman holding the reins and cracking his jokes, and Mr. Toplady holding fast to the seat and umbrella, with a firm determination to enjoy it all. It was not long, however, before their spirits fell again. In vain did Mr. Toplady endeavor to keep his seat. Whenever there was any trotting, he was in continual danger of being precipitated to the ground by slipping sidewise, and whether there was any trotting or not, it was useless to attempt to shield himself and friend with the heavy um- brella from the driving blast, against which they were heading. The seat was filled with water, and their legs were completely drenched. Mr. Toplady was accustomed to all the varieties of the water-cure treatment, but such a sitz-bath he positively disliked. "0 dear! It is of no use !" said he, in utter misery and exhaustion. 41-I can't hold up this dreadful umbrella any longer. I ean't prop it up, or do any thing with it!" "Well, shut it down; it -is of no good !" re- plied Mr. Titman, more anxious than ever to get along the road. "the rheumatism will repay me for -this !" again commenced Mr. Toplady, after a pause. "Never mind I" cried the unfaltering Titman, whipping up the horse. "We shall, soon be home by this road!" "Stop ! atop, Titman! My legs are aching now," said the unfortunate Toplady. " There is no help for it. I don't like to do it, but I must- I must get inside, Titman !"- "But, good gracious! Supposing any one should find us driving along at this furious rate," said Mr. Titman, shuddering, " and they should find. you inside in a fit? 0 gracious ! It is too much like-" " Never mind. I am not going to be laid up six weeks, with inflammatory rheumatism, for the sake of appearances ! I am going to get in- side !" said Mr. Toplady determinedly.0 They stopped. Mr. Toplady opened the little door at the -back, and crawled in. What his sensations were, after Mr. Titman closed the door upon him, we can not exactly state. An hour or two after this transfer was made on the road, Miss Rushton was looking out of the drawing-room window of Mr. Wagbull's mansion, at the rain, when she descried a conveyance on the distant road. "There is a hearse !" said she, to Miss De Pompenkops. "Some poor person gone to the dark and gloomy abode." " How fast he drives !" ejaculated another young lady. "Why, I declare, he-he is turn- ing in here." "In here ?" "And, heavens! it is-it is Mr. Titman driv- ing !" continued she, in astonishment. "Good gracious !" exclaimed all the ladies in chorus, rushing to the windows. "It is lie! It really is the little man !" cried Miss Rushton, with increased surprise. "No other I Has be been taken insane ? And where is Mr. Toplady ?" . " Why, what does it mean ?" exclaimed they all in chorus again, and looking at each other in utter amazement. Regardless of any thing but the rain, Mr. Tit- NKFIELD- 115 man drove the vehicle steadily up to the door. I With a short command to his animal, he arrested its progress. In thoughtful benevolence,the backed the conveyance up to the Piazza. Amid the cries of horror and astonishment, he opened its narrow door and benevolently lent his assist- ance to the disburdening of its unfortunatecOn- tents. Mr. Toplady was carried to his room by the domestics, where he revived sufficiently to call for Moses and a glass of brandy, while Mr. Tit- man sought the drawing-room fire, and there en- deavored, with congealed tongue and incoherent accents, to give a confused account of theradven- tures of the day to the excited assemblage. CHAPTER LI. GEORGE HENRY DOTTLEWASHER. IN the househdid of Mr. Wagbull- there was a very pretty young maid, of English origin, who assisted the cook of the establishment in the important duties of the kitchen, besides attend- ing to those connected with the renovation of the more delicate pieces of linen which could not safely be intrusted to the Irish laundres. This maid, on a bright morning a day or two af- ter the arrival of our friends, was engaged in a little court near the stables in the laudable oc- cupation of hanging out certain of the aforesaid pieces of linen, for the purpose of drying them in the sun, when Mr. de St. Beauty, who had been lounging in the stables, gently digesting his breakfast, in inspecting the horses and meditat- ing perhaps upon the gay existence of the mem- bers of his profession, crossed accidentally the little court for the purpose of returning to the house. The young female, casting her eyes upon him, paused so abruptly in her occupation and gave such a start that her movements arous- ed the meditative gentleman from his reflections. " Hah! taken with my shape P" said the gen- tleman to himself. "Let us see what sort of creature she is before we go in. There is no- body looking, and perhaps-" The girl still stood gazing at him, as if thor- oughly subdued by is appearance. "Ha! ha!I This is love at first sight P" con, tinned the flippant young gentleman. "It is our duty to attend to it, poor girl !" "George 'Enry l" cried the maid aloud. "Eh ?" said the diplomat with a lively move- ment. "Who called me ? I thought I heard--" " It's him! I am sure of it now I" ejaculated the maid. "George Henry. George Henry Bot- tlewasher I" reiterated she. " Eh ?" continued the young diplomatist, look- ing at her more attentively. "Oh ! blast it ! it's-it's that little girl I met in New-York at- but what do you wish, my girl ?" continued he immediately resuming his assured air. "Shall I be careful of the grass, oh ?" "How, Mr. Geor-ge Henry Bottlewasher ! Don't you recognize me-don't you know the young lady as kept your company when you were in the'Hinglish consul's kitchen in New-York ? And told me confidentially all about how you got kicked out of 'or Majesty's hambassador's at Pa- l-is, and run away to America ?" page: 116-117[View Page 116-117] 116- MR. WI "0 my God, she'll compromise me " " You said very well, I-was too good for you, and now I know it myself, sir !" continued the maid in great indignation. "Good heaven I don't talk so loud, Elizabeth! You'll arouse the house. Young woman, I must correct your error. I am not the person you refer to at all. Not at all ! You confound me with-with some other confounded person !" "Eh! but it is you. I know you very well I" continued the maid in the same strain. " Then you have forgotten who you are your- self, if you say that, Lizzie-I would say, my worthy girl 1 "1 have not forgotten myself. _ I know who I am, and what is more, I know I am not like you, perfidious, 'eartless fellow, as you are " "What is going to come of this? Here is my fat in the fire, all on account of a woman again, too !" " It is frightful, 'orrible, your treachery. But I will proclaim it to every one I see !" continued the girl, overcome by her feelings and putting her apron to her eyes. " Oh ! the devil is in the pot! there is no use now-she's got to crying !" said the gentleman, " by gravy, if any one should happen to come this way-Lizzie ! I am just now dearly expiat- ing the crime of my forgetfulness. The storms of life are descending on me I I am being dish- ed and served up half-cooked by a cruel fate, but know that not my interest alone but yours, my dearest duck, has induced me to pawn my iden- tity and the fair name of Bottlewasher for--for drachmas-and here-here on bended knee," continued the wild young gentleman, looking hastily toward the house, "I renew the assurance of my distinguished affection !", "Well! at least you remember your Lizzie. You are not so cruel as to forget her features I" " Hallo!1 what is all that ?" said Mr. Wagbull, entering the inclosure through the garden-gat just at this moment. "I say, S'boaty, that i rather lively, isn't it?" " Great Dina of the Effeezus ! It is shy wor thy host !" exclaimed the penitent lover, jump ing up. "I dare say, my host, you think I wa attempting to throw myself at her feet V" "I don't know about that, but you certainlI were at them !" "Well, it did look like it, I must confess. Bu you see the wind was blowing away one of thes napkins, or diapers, or whatever they are, and in pure gallantry I had to secure it for her. As at organ of international and domestic -courtesy, put on my diapason stop, ha ! ha ! Do you see? "1I must say, I do not exactly, my friend. How ever, boys will be boys!" "Yes, she didn't want to lose her napkins, an( I didn't want to lose my illusions, ha! ha! It i the French school of diplomacy I was educate in, eh ! ha! ha!' "I've no doubt of it. Well, well, come alone with me to the billiard-room, and see how man points you wish me to give you." CHAPTER LII'. Tmgl BAcK-SEAT OP THlE WAGON. UroN. the occasion of the picnic excursion I the picturesque lake of Halsted, Mr. Toplady wI NKFIELD. delighted. Miss De Pompenkops, the proud de- scendant of one of the great blooded Dutch fan- ilies of Ameriea, had c)osen him to be her venv- her. He determined to make it a day of earnest- ness. There should be no play about it for him. After a charming drive upon the bright September morning, the party arrived at the lovely sheet of water; the opinion of the natives, on the route, at the appearance of Mr. Winkfield's eye-glass, Mr. Beekman's whiskers, and the lively demonstra- tion of Mr. Barnard and Mr. St. Beauty on horse back, having been divided as to whether the caval- cade was a circus, or the son of the British queen with his suite, whom they "had heern tell was aba-out in the country." Miss Do Pompenkops expressing a passion for the manly scenes afforded by the virile art, Mr. Toplady at once determined to row, much to the satisfaction of an indolent yung gentleman by the name of Mills, who shared with him the responsibility of propelling one of the boats. He grasped the oars, and at once set out in rash magnificence. "Why, you be goiu! wrong cend foremost, Mister!" cried one of the sexton's boys, lying on the platform. Eh .So I am," said Mr. Toplady, hastily re- versing his strokes and running the boat back into the platform, by its contact with which, he flew into Miss Rushton's embrace, causing her in agitated union with Miss Pompenkops to topple backward upon Mr. Mills, who at once communi- cated the momentum with his head to the bottom of the boat, where it was duly annihilated. "What an awkward, clumsy boat this is ." ex- claimed Mr. Toplady, recovering himself. ."Wait, Mister, ye must sit ra-ound t'otlrer way. said the boy, pausing in his unrestrained laughter at Mr. Toplady'sinexperience. "Stern on, I will push ye off." Mr. Toplady obeyed, and starting off again, ran at once into a lily-pad at one side of his route, from the natural disproportion of strength in his arms. "Why will you play such merry pranks, Mr. - Toplady ?" cried Miss Rushton archly. "Do go - ahead. See, the other boats are far out." " Well, I will," replied Toplady perspiring. "Mills, don't let me deprive you of the pleasure y of rowing. 1-11 " Oh! do feather the oars, Mr. Toplady l" ex- t claimed Miss De Pompenkops. It is so beauti- e ful to see the bending blade, now dividing the n sparkling wave and now dripping in the sun's n splendor.". " '1Certainly!" said the gallant Toplady, tugging " in agony at the oars, and with difficulty retaining them in his hands. - "Oh! yes, we all know you have a genius for d feathering the oars, Mr. Toplady !" chimed in Miss s Rushton. d Mr. Toplady felt it might be possible, as he had never tried, and presently he essayed various g violent and paralytic motions with his wrists, with y the assurance of showing thereby that he could do something extraordinary with the oars, even if he should not strike upon the aquatic mystery alluded to. Then, after alternate exclamations these coplicated actions, he relaxed his effort from .sheer exhaustion, and Mr. Mills relieved to him.1 Then, as they approached the opposite is shore, he in turn relieved Mr. Mills, and was MR. WINKFIELD. 117 challenged to a race by Moses in another boat. pieces, and frightened the remainder and the Upon this, gazing in the eyes of Miss De Pompen- ladies into momentary quiet. And then the re- kops, he once more renewed his vigor, and dipped past was determined upon. During the harrow- his blades deeply in enthusiasm. Presently as a ing scene upon the lake, two cows from the bushes, cheer from the parties on shore greeted his ath- taking advantage of the confusion, had succeeded letic efforts, one of his oars "caught the crab," in breaking open one of the baskets, and eaten sev- and sheered sidewise into the profound. He enteen pies and all the sandwiches. This little dropped the other oar and held on with 'both sport of the animals, however, occasioned but hands to the crab-catcher, and following its course, brief delay, and even additional excitement was as the boat turned abruptly, glided easily and obtained from it in the formation of a foraging headforemost over the side of the boat. party to the scattered -houses in the distance, of "By heaven, there is Toplady overboard !" whom Mr. Barnard was the most successful, for cried Mr. Barnard upon the shore. "Good God, he secured a large and choice provision of edibles and there goes Moses !" by making a descent upon the house of the Mil- "So they are, by George !" exclaimed a fat lerite farmer, dwelling in the vicinity. After country gentleman in astonishment. "Both on politely listening to that deluded agriculturist's 'em I" explanation, that money was of no object to* him, Mr. Titman frantically embraced a young lady and that these edibles were especially prepared standing near him, while the ladies; whom Mr. for a farewell dinner, on the following Sunday, Toplady had so ungallantly deserted, might be with some religious friends, who expected to go seen in convulsed terror going through the same up with him and family immediately thereafter, the process. Brunswick plunged headlong into the lively commissary quietly knocked him down, and pond, and Mr. Barnard followed his example. seizing the provisions, brought them successfully "Oh! wirra! acushla! wirra-wirroo !" cried the into camp. During the repast there were toasts to Irish lad, starting off toward the nearest house the ladies and to the brave rescuers of Mr. Top- for an ax. lady, and then there were songs. The fat country " Keep up, Toplady, for God's sake !" bawled gentleman became grateful for Bessie's melodies Mr. Wagbull, as the unfortunate gentleman's legs to such an extent as to offer one himself. And appeared for a moment above the surface and mounting a log for this purpose, fell off'in the then disappeared again. "Good God, there is middle of his Bashanic efforts, and became quite Winkfield entirely out of sight! Why, the boy sulky at Moses, who, supposing he had finished, can't swim !", diverted the attention to a loon upon the lake. It was but a moment of suspense. The next Mr. Titman and Mr. St. Beauty came out with thereafter the faithful Brunswick held Mr. Wink- their jokes and witticisms, at which the country field by the collar, and Mr. Toplady was clinging gentleman speedily recovered his humor and to the side of his boat, into which the agitated kicked out violently-behind to express his delight. Mr. Mills was endeavoring to draw him by his And then a game of forfeits was instituted, which head, while Mr. Barnard was bravely striking out was soon broken up by Mr. Barnard, as he d' within two feet of them in the water. not deem it worth while to wait for the pregr 1"It's only four feet deep here. I touched the of the game, but fell to hissing without the au- bottom twice," cried he, sputtering. "They are thority of its rules, in which grave irregularity he both safe any how, ladies !" was soon followed by the whole party. Mr. Top- The danger being over, Mr. Wagbull promptly lady kept aloof from such wild scenes, because .elicited three cheers from the assembly, and his the celebrated Dutch gardener's dignified de- daughter as promptly fainted. She soon recovered, scendant did, but joined in the numerous dances, however, to severely criticise Moses's heroic at- and led her about in their mazes with studied tempt to swim with his boots on. steps and patient devotion. Such moments suc- " Ha! ha! It is a good joke," said Mr. Titman, ceeded each other in lively variety, until the sun who had descried the bottom in the slanting rays began to lower, and at last, when Brunswick, the of the sun, and had come to the conclusion there Irish lad, and the other domestic, had eaten the had been no danger. Mr Toplady did not think remainder of the banquet, discussed the heel-taps, so at all. If it had been amusing to fall headlong and Timothy had been partially resuscitated from into a pond, it was certainly no subject for merri an unexpected intoxication into which he had ment to him, to be compelled from fear of rheum- fallen, the wagons, which had been brought around atism to present to a number of gentlemen and to the scene, were prepared for the return. At ladies the phenomenon of a staid, elderly gentle- the house of the Millerite, they paused for a short man, playing horse in an open field, especially period, for they found that its excitable proprietor when he knew that one was present, to whom had been scared by Mr. Barnard's summary ac- above all others he would- tions within its precincts, into the belief that . But never mind, the festivities proceeded with Millennium was instantly'at hand, and in conse- great hilarity A fire was built to relieve Mr Top- quence had mounted into an apple-tree with all lady from his equine diversion, and dry the other his family, clothed in pink gauze ascension-robes moist members of the company, and soon after- to await the important event. They rectified his ward the dancing was commenced to further the momentary aberration at least, and induced him same purpose, Mr. Titman playing the game- to descend ; and having requited his forced hos- some accordeon, whtch he had brought thither, pitality, started once more upon their way home- assisted by Mr St. Bealit6 upon the resonant violin, ward. And then there was fishing from a neighboring Mr. Toplady was in the last vehicle with the ledge by all the ladies, the gentlemen baiting the proud heiress and descendant of one of the old- hooks and supporting the fair ones in their pro- eat Dutch market-gardeners ot New York history. Carious positions. And then Mr. Barnard and The feelings which he experienced as he enjoyed Mr Titman killed a few birds with their fowling- the back-scat with her, were peculiar. IHis inter- page: 118-119[View Page 118-119] 118 MR. WIN] est in her, to speak generally; was no doubt that of predestinated affection ; yet it had been up to this moment-in particular, since his hasty de- monstration in her drawing-room-that respectful, reverential sympathy, which might be termed by keen dissecters of character, social poltroonery and fear of her. But now there arose in his bosom an intenser emotion, akin to that insane impulse which impels fascinated moths or horses to seek the flames which are to consume them. As he fell headlonginto the lake, he had thought, amid his excitement, as he went over, that he heard his name, the familiar name of Effingham, breathed in terrified affection from her lips. He was not sure, but the possibility had refined his reason, and he had been silently exercising it during the whole afternoon. And now, thought he, should he weakly suffer to pass a felicitous moment, and dash the cup from his lips as it was presented ? Should he relinquish the golden op-- portunity of securing the treasure for which he had ventured into the toils of numerous tailors, florists, barbers and jockeys, when it was just within his grasp ? Should he, after having once compromised his equanimity of feeling by dis- closing on his knees, and in his best pantaloons, his preference,.blush out the remainder of his life, and die a poor, single, scorned thing, because he had not spirit enough to show he knew how to properly do it? -To." He would seize the golden opportunity afforded by the back-seat, and de- clare his passion or-perish in the attempt! " How beautiful is the country," said she pen- sively. "I could live here all thle year, were there only society."I " And without that, you would derive happiness* here as elsewhere, from the very reflex of your own presence," replied Mr. Toplady. "Yes, you would be happy here too !" " How, Mr. Toplady ? Without the fashions, without taste, without the intercourse with well- bred people? Observe the shocking manners and dress of the natives. Oh! no, it would be unen- durable !" " But would not the society-the love of one here, be a sufficient consolation for the absence of the mere admiration of the hollow many there ?" suggested Mr. Toplady, with a leer. " The affection of the commoner sort of people seems, indeed, to thrive in such a rude existence of solitude and exile, but to persons of refine- ment, the delightful appliances of refinement and taste'seem necessary to render mutual sympathy exquisite or heaven-like, do they not ?" There seemed a faltering weakness in her tones, as if they were those of a reluctant confession. His arm was upon the back of the seat. He was violently impelled by some unknown, unseen, and unearthly power. The mellowness of the hour, softened by the graceful shadows, was in unison with thepensive tenderness of feeling which she seemed in vain endeavoring to conceal. The parties oi the front-seat were occupied. " Beloved being! My danger this morning affected you!" whispered he agitatedly. " I saw it as I sunk! And let this sign of my impas- sioned hope in return, now properly imprinted on your fair brow, be a token to you of the everlast- ing sympathy of our hearts !" With this the rash gentleman at once precipi- tated himself upon his fair companion's form, crushing her bonnet completely and succeeding IL wim W., VIkTl MR. WINKFIELD. FIELD. in planting his osculatory blow, somewhere under her left eye. The neighboring air was filled with a wild scream. -The astonishment of Mr. Mills and Miss Wag- bull who were on the front -seat, may be con- ceived, when on turning they observed Miss Pompenkops apparently fainted, and Mr. Toplady in the act of frantically leaping oyer a stone wall at the side of the road. 0 " Good God! What is the matter ?" hastily cried Mr. Mills., " He-Mr. Toplady-sir-I-0 Miss Wag- bull!" incoherently murmured the lady. t "Why, she has the hysterics !" cried Miss Wagbull, hastily placing herself at the unfortun- ate young lady's side and sustaining her form. "But what has Mr. Toplady gone for?" asked Mr. Mills. " Heavens, I scarce can tell! For water from a spring perhaps, to revive her !" conjec- tured the confused Bessie. The young lady here sat up, opened her eyes and looked around. "Mr. Toplady, I-why, where is Mr. Toplady ?" asked she agitatedly. " He has gone into the woods. What is it, deary ? You are better now. Did-you see some-, thing unexpected, some horrible sight?" asked Bessie tenderly. " Has he" gone? Heavens ! Yes, yes, I saw a terrible, cruel sigt-a poor wounded bird, a weak fluttering thing, and Mr. Toplady-yes, he must have gone to rescueit !" replied Miss De Pompenkops. "But surely he will speedily re- turn," continued she, raising her voice and making her accents quite distinct. She was mistaken, though they awaited his re- turn for some time, during which she minutely- recounted the scene of the wounded bird. Mr. Toplady did not appear. They called him by name, shouted their impatience, and Mr. Mills dismounted and looked a short distance into the shadowy precincts of the forest. " This is a most singular thing !" said he. " He must have got lost in the thicket and wandered out of the reach of our voices !") They renewed their calls and shouts, and Mr. Mills, at Miss De Pompenkops's request, endeavor- ed to convey to the erratic gentleman's ears. her special commands for his return, but his efforts were useless. " There is a bend in the road above here. He may have wandered through the forest and joined one of the wagons ahead of us," suggested Bessie. "4OP at least he may be awaiting us upon the road !" All hope of his return to them there being dissipated, they accepted this doubtful solution, and drove on, expecting to be accosted by him at every turn and corner of the road. But he did not appear. The shades of night fell thicker and thicker, and finally in darkness they were forced to proceed impatiently toward home, relying upon the presumption of finding him there. For four hours after their arrival, the whole household in commotion and eager expectancy awaited the sounds of footsteps upon the gravel, or of the farmer's wagon, which might possibly be bringing the lost gentleman back to his home, while the impatient Moses, with Brut swick amid other domestics frequently sallied down the road with 'lanterns to aid his belated return. Just as Mr. Wagbull, at a moment considerably past midnight, was ordering out the entire strength of his stables and his household for an organized search, Brunswick, in visiting Mr. Toplady's apartment, for that gentleman's overcoat, dis- covered himin bed soundly sleeping. His clothes were much disordered, his boots soiled with the mud of swamps and the dust of the highway, and he bore the appearance of being, greatly fatigued. After unknown and superhuman exertions, the wretched gentleman had reached the house, and rather with the feelings of a murderer than a re- spectable human being, had unobservedly sneaked up by the back way to his room, where, over- come with fatigue, with thoughts of self-slaugh- ter, or at least the necessity of perpetual intoxi- cation to make life bearable, he had sunk in slumber. Relieved of their fears, his friends permitted him to remain undisturbed, and re- tired themselves to await a thorough explanation in the morning, of what was certainly an extra- ordinary adventure, if not proceeding, upon the part of a respectable elderly gentleman. We are happy to state for his sake, that on the morrow the theory of the wounded bird was opportunely discovered, eagerly accepted, and minutely followed up by him. Nay we can say, restored to joy, he even saw in it an allegorical meaning. CHAPTER LIII MR. ]BEEKMAN MAKES THE ACQUAINTANCE OF MR. BOTTLEWASHER. MR. BEERMAN-nBOUTS was an individual of that enviable temperament which is rarely thrown from its balance by the difficulties of its possess- or, to say nothing of those of others. Whether this was because the sanguineness of his nature was greater than his perspicacity, or whether the latter was not very lucid in its effects, it was nevertheless true that his equanimity was rarely disturbed. To be sure, he might be observed at times nursing his whiskers with a serious air, but that may.have been as much the result of a noble reliance upon their power as of any thing else. He thus smiled complacently upon the fa- vor which Miss De Pompenkops seemed disposed to bestow upon Mr. Toplady at the picnic, and which, it was quite evident, she did bestow upon him subsequent to it. The time, which he was wont to expend in sitting in silent satisfaction by her side, he now tranquilly consumed in frequent resorts to the arms of Somnus, or in smoking a segar in lazy pedestrianism upon the numerous walks of the surrounding park. It should not be inferred that he did not ratiocinate upon the adjustment of proper means to any end in hand, for he undoubtedly did this. But his weakness lay rather in his confidence that if he did not possess such means, fortune would be sure to bestow them upon him. It was on a bright afternoon, day or two after the picnic, that, from the warmness of the weather, he had betaken himself to a shady bower in the gardens, with a paper of cigarittos and a French novel, there to pass an hour upon .his back, in lazily titillating his fancy, or watching in sleepy nonchalance the wreaths of smoke twirling from his lips. He had been there but a few moments, and was blinking in sympathetic amusement at a bright-eyed toad, hopping about the bower, while he was silently debating whether he should light another segar or not, when he heard the noise of footsteps upon the gravel, and of conversation, in a by-walk which ran across the park at a short distance from. his retreat. He immediately recognized one of the voices to be that of the illustrious Chevalier St. Beaut6 and the other that of a female, who appeared to be laboring under some little womanly excitation of feeling, which the gentleman was evidently endeavoring by his conversational eloquence to assuage. Eavesdropping was an action the gen- tlemanly Beekman naturally scorned, and he rose to a sitting posture for the purpose of at once disclosing his propinquity to the new-comers, when he was astonished to observe that the fe- male was one of the maids of the house. Under such circumstances he did not feel himself bound to move at all, except to at once hide himself in the most artful manner he could. What was the conversation he heard, or were the actions he ob- served, it is not necessary for us to state, it being sufficient to remark that after an apparently eatl*- factory result to both parties, the maid tripped back hastily, by a somewhat circuitous path, to the house. Mr. Beekman immediately emerged from his shady covert, and following the diplo- mat, who was already sauntering back, humming a lively air, exclaimed authoritatively: " Here, sir. Stop your singing, sir, and come here!" "Stop my singing! eh? Are you addressing me, sir ?" exclaimed the young diplomatist, mani- festing great astonishment, as he turned hastily around and observed the other. "Yes, you rascal !" replied the latter. " Perhaps you would be pleased to moderate your expressions. It is a tone, sir, to which I am not habituated ! Not at all, sir!" said the diplomatist. "Not habituated! You rascally fellow, I have heard all V" "And what am I to infer from that, sir ?" asked the diplomatist immediately. "I know all, I repeat to you; and I have the intention of knocking you down. Now I think of it, I remember seeing you as hall-waiter at Mr. Barclay's !" "It wasn't me !" said the other. "Brazen-faced rascal!" "He may have been, but it wasn't me I" "Rascal! Do you mean to say you didn't an- swer the bell there ?" " I never answered at all." " I have no doubt of that, you scoundrel. But listen to me, Bottlewasher; I will not knock you down. I will expose you, and stop your confounded disguised career." " It is my diplomatic talent. I have a genius for it. You can't choke off genius !" "Diplomatic talent! Well, you have impu- dence enough, that is true !" said- Mr. Beek- man. "I will employ that talent in your favor! I know your relations here ! I've seen how your pot boils as well as mine !" " Eh, sir ? Here, take yourself off. No, stay," continued Mr. Beekman. " Fortune has sent me this fellow. By Jove, he can tell me 119 page: 120-121[View Page 120-121] 120 MR. WINKFIELD. what is going on, and when she is tired of ideas out from an adjacent mountain, had made one of' and conversing men, and wants the society of a those natural bathing-places, four or five feet chap like me," thought he, in lazy weakness. deep, of fresh, sparkling water, swiftly flowing "He's a good fellow to have, by Jove !" or whirling merrily in graceful rounds, which " Leave it all to me !" continued the assured are irresistible to those who are partial to the Mr. Bottlewasher. "You'll see in two days how delights of bathing, and not partial to any dan- I'll assist you 1" ger therein. Mr. Toplady and Mr. Winkfield "Eh? very well, I will. But remember, you during their short stay had frequently paid rascal, don't you attempt to hold any conversa- morning visits to this place of refreshment, but tion with me. And confound you, sit-sit at now as the season was rapidly growing colder, the other end of the table at dinner, you ras- Mr. Toplady had postponed his bath to the warm- cal!" ,1,er hour of the day which preceded that of din. "Very well, I consent to the conditions." ner. The place was quite secluded, and Mr. Top. " Here, pull the wrinkles out of my pantaloons, lady after disrobing himself was induced for a and brush the leaves from my knees." short moment to frisk on the rocky brink and "But, my dear sir, is it proper for a popular cut numerous agile capers in the air ere he member of the diplomatic profession to--" . plunged in, with all- the ardor and enthusiasm of "No words. Do as I tell you, rascal !" the amateur in water-cure. Great was the plung- "Yes, sir, yes, sir. Any thing else, sir?" ing, and diving, and turning over on the back, "Yes. Get out, you rascal "' and snorting, and hard breathing, and laughing, That evening, shortly previous to the hour of and races around the bend, and crawling up the dinner, Mr. Wagbull happened to be passing by rapids above, whith took place on the part of Mr. Beekman's room, when he was amazed to the two swimmers. observe therein the distinguished Mr. de St. "You swim pretty well, Toplady !" said Mr. Beauty in the act of shaving the former. Mills, who had been forced to acknowledge his " Well !" said he to himself, as he proceeded. inferiority in that noble art by propelling him- "That is the liveliest specimen of a young gen- self on the bottom in the races. tieman I ever saw! Actually amusing himself "Yes, with my clothes off. But I can't get with the novel excitement of taking off some- along at all with 'em on," replied Mr. Toplady, body else's beard !" paddling away to keep his head above the sur- face. "The other day, when I fell into the lake, I went underneath immediately. The more I tried to swim, the farther down went my bead. Iam going to practice, though, with weights in CHAPTER LIV. my pockets. I am not going to give it up until MR. TOPLADY AND FRIENDENJOY A DELIGHTFUL Pcan carry a hundred pounds I" WALK AND REFRESH THEMSELVES WITH A RU. "Isn't this splendid ?" said Mr. Mills, ducking WALK AND RFRMsWHICHTH EVER)WTHEAYRU-his head beneath the water for a moment, and RAL BATH, FROM WHICH, HOWEVER, THEY DO then rising to catch his breath and recover his NOT RETURN AS THEY COULD WISH. - presence of mind. "It gives one an appetite ONE of the most charming peculiarities of Sep. too." tember weather -in Vermont is that it possesses "Magnificent! magnificent !" answered Mr. all the beauties of summer, many of those of Toplady, with new enthusiasm at the prospect of autumn, and none of the disagreeable features a delightful walk home and a pleasant dinner of either. I think there is no happiness equal thereafter. "Now for one morb race, Mills. in tranquil enthusiasm to that which an after- We'll go up to the rapids and float down around noon walk across the fields and in the woods the turn in the current. What do"you say ?" upon one of these days affords. The sun is emil. "Go it !" said Mr. Mills, and away they went, ing with all his benevolent blandness.upon the laughing and struggling, and disappearing around scene, and yet the wind is blowing in smart the bend. Then, after a little rest, back they freshness, waving the foliage, and wooing the came, floating swiftly on the current, or rolling check of the pedestrian, to dissipate the warmth Akround therein like drifting chips. of exposure and the exercise. Huge clouds are ' "Well, let's go out now. Never stay in too incessantly chasing each other, as if in frolic, long at one time; is my motto. Duck your head across the sky, laughing now and then at their once more, and then go out," said Mr. Toplady, sport, till they cry a few drops, which come as he took his own prescription, and then com- slanting down, while Iris's aerial bow spans the menced wading toward the little landing ledge lofty eastern hills. Beside all this, the birds of rocks, upon a back shelf of which, beneath are making a devil of a noise, packing up their a tree, they had placed their towels and clothes. trunks to go south, and the cows, horses, and "Good gracious! where are our clothes ?" ex- other animals seem continually animated with claimed he hastily, as he observed that the tow- the glowing sights of the heavy harvest about els were in their places, but-that the apparel was them. So thought Mr. Toplady and Mr. Mills not. as they paused in their afternoon walk from Mr. "Eh ? What did you say ?" asked Mr. Mills, Wagbull's house, at the side of a sparkling riv- walking out, and shaking the water from his ulet, which, strengthened by its many mountain head. tributaries, seemed quite a diminutive river, ere " Did you move our clothes from here, Mills ?" it ran through Mr. Wagbull's property to join inquired Mr. Toplady, commencing to hastily the beautiful Connecticut. At the point where plush away the surrounding bushes with his the gentlemen seated themselves, about a mile hand. from the house, an angular turn in the stream, " Eh? No. What is the matter ? can't you caused by an enormous ledge of rocks running find them? " MR. WINKFIELD. 121 " Good God, no!t Why, what does this mean ?" -continued the excited Toplady, jumping upon the back ledge and rummaging earnestly about. " Ha ! ha! Some of our friends at the house are around here with 'em!" conjectured Mr. Mills dubiously. "Hello! Winkfield! Titman !" There was no answer, except by the echoes from the neighboring mountain, which soon died away on their attentive hearing. "1I say, Titman, Moses, this is no joke at all. Come here. We are catching cold," cried Mr. Toplady pettishly. "Not funny at all!" The summons was of no use, nor were the re-' petitions thereof, nor the renewed and prolonged searching of both the bathers. "1O dear !" said Mr. Toplady, pausing in his anxiety, as the too probable truth struck upon his mind. "Some scoundrel of a foot-pad has stolen them! He hasn't even left 'the shirts. They-they might be of some-" " It is dreadful. What shall we do ?" inquired Mr. Mills, beginning to shiver. "God knows," replied Mr. Toplady, staring at the opposite shore. It was, indeed, a" difficult position to be extricated from by human reason- ing. The sun was sinking behind the bills. If they staid there, they would run the hazard of freezing to death. They could not go home in the predicament they were in, and if they at- tempted to seek the road to accost passers-by for assistance, they might run the risk of exposing themselves before they could properly retreat.0 " Whoever you are that have taken these clothes," cried Mr. Toplady indefinitely, "if you will leave them where you are, and designate the spot, you may take all the change there is in the pockets, and the watch too, the rascal! It is an old silver one." " I left mine on mydressing'-case, luckily," said Mr. Mills. k The generous offer, and the entreating tone thereof, were alike lost on the hardened offender, if he was still in the neighborhood. The only thing remaining for them to do was to cautiously approach the road, mount into a tree thereon, and hail the first passer-by that came along. With some difficulty from the rough bushes, briers, and thorns, they succeeded in reaching the road, and both at once mounted into a -maple- tree, and concealed themselves in the foliage, to await the coming of some traveler. It was not a highway, and the chances were against their seeing any one at all.- For full half an hour they waited in gloomy, desperate silence. At last the joyful sound of an approaching wagon fell on their ears. The vehicle camPe in sight. 0n its front-seat was an honest farmer, returnig from Chester, and on the back were two yoing fe- males, his daughters, without doubt, talking to- gether. " 0 gracious I how unlucky I" said Mr. Top- lady, in a low but energetic tone. - "Confound the deuced women! Always the way with these country girls, riding about when they should be at home attending to their business V" This speech was apparently very ungallant, but it was caused by the very fact of his respect for the sex amounting to timidity. Thus the vehicle rolled'past to a short distance, ere he summoned up enough courage to give a subdued yell to stop its driver. The latter looked around as if he had heard something, butV the rapid continuance of the vehicle on its course rendered useless a repe- tition of the call. "Perhaps it is best he didn't discover us," said Mr. Toplady, after a moment's silence. And again they waited. Their chances were not all gone yet. Soon two little boys came along the road with fishing-poles in their hands. They had evidently been fishing in the stream above. They could probably give the unlucky bathers some information respecting the missing clothes, or could be induced to procure assistance for them. " Hallo, boys I" cried Mr. Toplady distinctly, at the proper moment. " HeyI What do you warnt ?" said the boys, stopping in an astonished manner. "Where are ye ?" "Here, in the maple-tree V" replied Mr. Mills. The boys approached and looked up. The objects which they saw there, were evidently such as possessed to their youthful minds the wild appearance of the traditional " crazy men," for they dropped their poles immediately and fled upon the wings of terror down the road, until out of sight. " The little fools I What were they scared at ? o dear! it is of no use!" cried Mr. Toplady. " Yes, it is. Cheer up I" answered Mr. Mills. " The sun is away down. It will be dark soon, and then we can go back to the house, or to the farmer's on the other side of the stream." It was the only prospect left them. They waited three-quarters of an hour until the dusky shades of evening began to prevail, and then commenced to wend their way through the woods and bushes, by the side of the road, not toward the farmer's, as they were afraid of his dogs, but to the Wagbull mansion itself. By crossing the rivulet, they could penetrate the thick grove adjoining the gardens, and by crossing the latter, reach the rear-court, and the servants' staircase, and by this they might with due caution gain their chambers without being seen. Fortune appeared to favor them, though at some expense of their cuticle. They succeeded in reaching the domestics' staircase without observation. " I guess they are not through dinner yet," said Mr. Toplady softly. "Go as still as you can." Mr. Toplady was right. They had not finished the dinner, nor even commenced it yet, for they were awaiting the arrival of the tardy in- dividuals themselves. Mr. Mills's apartment was in the front of the third story, directly over Mr. Toplady's in thesecond. They were both obliged to pass'the main staircase. It was best for both to seek at once Mr. Toplady's room. With one dash, they ran along the ball, to pass the stairs, and-it was very, extremely unfortunate, indeed, but-just as they reached the latter, the dignified Miss Do Pompenkops and the lovely Bessie came tripping up the same, with their arms around each other's waists, to make a hasty preparation for ~dinner, which had finally been ordered. The sight to their bewildered vision was that of fright- ful madness, of frenzied lunacy! There were two wretched, insensate creatures, with desperate countenances, tearing along in delirious rivalry, and jostling each other in their frantic career. Miss Wagbull shrunk back against the wall for support, while Miss De Pompenkops sank in ap- page: 122-123[View Page 122-123] 122 MR. WINKFIELD. parent insensibility upon the staircase. With and of the frequent loans he had made him, hence. one bound, Mr. Toplady, followed by Mr. Mills, forth to be considered as donations. I vain did tore into his room, locked the door, and jump- Mr. Beekman manifest his utmost sco -n and in- ing upon the bed, groaned, clutched the empty dignation at the base supposition of such a trick air and madly thrust his head between the pil- being played for his benefit. With brazen ef- lows. frontery, the individual laughed at the one and accused the other. In vain did the English -+--- maid, as the reward of his past and prospective perfidy, turn state's evidence against him, and thoroughly expose him by her indignant narra- CHAPTER LV. tive. He had the assurance to tell her that his RA E A backsliding was the justifiable result of a de- HIS EXAMPLE IS FOLLOWED BY MR. WAGBULL ficiency in her of the refined requirements of AND THE OTHER GUESTS. wealth and position indispensable to the partner of such a talented person as he, and the extreme WHAT occurred at the mansion during the hardihood that he was already secretly engaged remainder of that dreadful day, or during the to a person who possessed these and many other next following need not be particularly recited charming attributes in addition. The aroused here. It is sufficiently unpleasant to be com- daughter of Albion made a furious dash at the- pelled to relate that Mr. Toplady was confined to recusant delinquent in mingled scorn and rage, his bed with a severe attack of the rheumatism, but was restrained by Mr. Wagbull, who at once and that it required all of Moses's affectionate advised his dismissal from the premises. care to keep the mental agony, which distracted "Before I go, Mr. Winkfield," continued the him, from, preying fatally upon his physical indurated wretch, twirling his carpet-bag, and system. To crown the astonishment of the turning to the excited Moses, "let me advise whole house as to the affair, the clothes of the your friend Toplady and the portly young gen- victims were found in a mysterious bundle in one tieman, if they ever wish to conceal themselves of the stable-bins, two or three days subsequent- while bathing again, to dive among the weeds at ly, by one of the horse-boys, and returned with the bottom and stay there, ha ! ha ! It is a their contents to the respective owners, uninjured great deal snugger place than up a tree, and one and complete, with the exception of fifty cents is not so liable to take a cold there, ha! ha '" in small change, left in one of the pockets of Mr. This jocose allusion to the unfortunate circum- Mills, which had probably been confiscated by the stances in which his friends had been placed, stable-boy, or taken by the penitent thief, ere would have been highly aggravating from any his conscience had smitten him to this partial act one ; but coming as it did from the very author of requital. 9f those wrongs, it was simply a maddening I Mr. Beekman courteously sympathized with temptation to commit murder. Our hero chased the misfortunes of hia rival, and never thought, the wretch in his continued fury for over a for once, that advantage could be taken of them quarter of a mile, and would have probably over- by any person, who had such an undoubted right taken him, had he not injudiciously stopped in to be called a gentleman as he. There was one his rage, to grasp at various missiles upon the guest in the house, however, who thought other- way. Mr. Barnard, who had with great presence wise, for shortly after the excitement caused by 0r mind sought the highway leading to the vii. the return of the bundle was allayed, Mr. De St. lage, some time previous to the dismissal, sue- Beautd approached the gentlemanly porter of the needed better. After administering to the ex- whiskers, and with triumphant looks and whispers diplomatist a severe drubbing, he permitted hiun of jocose assurance, made it apparent at last to to pass to the neighboring railway-station, which the slow mind of the astounded Bobuts, that the that extraordinary genius did, with hastier steps thing was the successful result of the implied than usual perhaps, but still with immense satis- contract between them, and that thid disgrace faction at such an escape, and in particular at which the rival Toplady was receiving in the Mr. Winkfield's forgetfulness to ask the return favor of the fair descendant of the Pompenkops, of the numerous financial favors he had benevo- in consequence of the late untoward violation lently conferred upon him . of the consonance of things, was something Benediction, or the adt of blessing, of wishing which no one, but the possessor of such illus- to a person the grace of God, has always existed trious diplomatic talents as his, could have ac- as a custom among the most civilized as well as complished in so ingenious a manner, or in so barbarous of communities. The earlier patri- brief a period. The overwhelmed Beekman arch of the chosen people when leaving the stood for a moment utterly aghast, and pulled world, after a short sojourn therein of five or six his whiskers in idiotic confusion. Then, having hundred years, invoked blessings upon the fu- promptly pulled the nose of, and kicked the too ture career of the tender infants of one hun- confdent diplomat, collared him and led him into dred, one hundred and fifty, and two hundred, the presence of the gentlemen of the house. We who surrounded him at his demise. The Jew- should have imagined that the feelings of the ex- ish priests of a later age, from the lofty summit posed wretch would have been more disagreeable of Ebal blessed the whole nation in a pretty during the ensuing scene, than'those of the other sound manner. In the Roman Catholic church persons present. But not so. He retained his benedictions are of several kinds, and are per- vivacity and self-assurance, even in that moment. formed in numerous impressive ways, varying In fact, they were ineffaceable. In vain did our according to the object upon which they are be- hero rave, as he thought of his uncle's rhieuma- stowed, to the parts of his physical system in- tism, of his own generous introduction of such an tended to be reached, or the circumstances of impostor to the bosom of a respectable family, his vase. Mar. Toplady occupied many moments -I'MR. WII of his forced retirement at this period in en- deavoring to concentrate from the more vehe. meant examples, which the history of these rites afforded, one grand comprehensive and crushing invocation, applicable to the vitals of Mr. De St. Beauty, and was only sorry that the act of "the laying on of hands," which accompanied many of these time-honored -rites, had become impossible in his case. By the time he recovered from his invalid. ation, the general idea of a return tp the city was projected, and our party contemplated with the vigor resulting from a healthful summer- campaign, the prospective delight of a renewed acquaintance with the renowned metropolis, and of again meeting their kind host and his family at his town-residence. Miss Do Pompenkops left among the first, without seeing Mr. Toplady, it must be confessed, but she nevertheless sent to him her kindest wishes. Neither he nor Mr. inehman-bobuts had the pleasure of accompany- ing her to her home, as perhaps both of them oriina ly intended. CHAPTER LVI. MR. WINKFIELD AND MR. LAMPSON DINE WITH MR. BARNARD. MR. WINKFIELD THE NEXT DAY PAYS A. VISIT TO THE SCHOLAR'S VILLA IN wESTCHESTER. SHORTLY after the return to the city, Mr. Bar. nard called upon Mr. Winkfield, and informed him that he had just emerged from the Museum, which he had felt it his duty to visit under the influence of the country feelings he had contract- ed in New-England; that he had duly seen the Happy Family, the wax figures, including that of the Playful Haberdasher, who murdered his wife and six children, biting off the head of the infant; and also the other curiosities, according to the catalogue, comprising tb mud-fish. "I picked up a curiosity in the Park, too, a singular genius. An indignant literary bully in india-rubbers, who had just been in a difficulty in the Copy-right office about its foreign arraige- ments, and been put out of it. He took my fancy and I did his, because I offered to clean out the establishment for him; and because I resembled, he said, what his friend Bancroft, the historian, used to be, according to the miniatures, at the close of the last century. Bully for B3ancroft ! The india-rubber. man is going to dine with me this evening, and I think I will make it an extra- ordinary spread, in honor of our safe return to the white settlements. I want you, Mr. Toplady, and little Tit!", Mr., Toplady was absent at a Norwich Electric Institute, having concluded to try the efficacy of Connecticut lightning, instead of Massachusetts water, for his infirmity of spirit, and Mr. Titman had been most mysteriously missing the entire day. SWell, you come. With the aid of the copy- right man you and I can manage it," replied Mr. Barnard. E8 i P - Upon reaching the latter's rooms in the even- -ing Moses found that the banquet was extraordi- nary, both in quantity and quality, that the mar- kets had been ransacked for the material, ad the Maison Dorde had deputed its finest intellect NKFIELD. 123 for the preparation. le was surprised to hear the name of Numhead mentioned as he entered, and gratified to find that Mr. Barnard's curiosity was the eccentric scholar of the Archmological Library, Mr. -Lampson. The latter appeared thinner and more care-worn than ever, which Mo- ses attributed to close application during the summer in the preparation of the great work. le nevertheless seemed highly inspirited by the doubly-agreeable sight of the banquet and Moses, and when the ceremonies were commenced, paid an impartial attention to both, as the most cour. teous method of signifying his eminent satisfac- tion at the hospitality of Mr. Barndrd. When Moses in a neat speech proposed their host's health, characterizing him as a manly, amusing, instructive and hospitable friend, Mr. Lampson in a loud voice applauded every epithet, and when that of hospitable was mentioned, cheered vigor- ously, and sent his plate around for another bird with iereased enthusiasm. He seemed for the moment to have thrown off his literary dignity, and while enjoying the pleasures of the board, endeavored to repay them by a social use of his muse. Clio brought out ber unwritten records, and secret anecdotes of the great struggle for American liberty; many being such as had never been divulged to the public ,upon the printed page, and many such as could not well be, on ac- count of Mrs. Boffin. Our hero joined in, and sang the inflexible virtue of the founders of na- tions and endeavored to show that the more a community knew of civilization and the amenities of life, the more profligate it became. le was occupied with a heavy quotation, from the fifth chapter of Sir Thomas More, highly applicable to thigh point,.when le was interrupted by a slight altercation between the host and the scholar. "Take one of these pat6s," said the former, as Mr. Lampson manifested a relaxation of his prandial vigor. "Oh ! no. No more." "lavd some of the pickled oysters, then," said the host. "Oh! no. I think I have done enough. I can't! replied the guest. "But you shall," insisted the host. "No, sir. I don't wish to." What you don't wish to! I won't have any of that nonsense. Take 'em," continued the host excitedly. "Here, John1" - I positively decline. I will not have them," said Mr. Lampson, bawling at the top of his voice under the pressure of self-defense. - D-n it! I'll see whether you will or not !1 said the host ferociously. "Very well, then. i11 try one or two more I" replied the unhappy historian. And to hide his growing incapacity from the sensitive host, he signed to pick at the bivalves, and commenced another little higtorival anecdote. While he went oi, now emulating the heroes lie was talking about, and making history instead of chronicling it, Mr. Barnard plied him with wine, that his flag- ging appetite might be revived, and at the sanie time generously kept ahead of him to cheer him Thereupon, in amicable return, the scholai- in- formed them of his own nice tastes ui) the art of eating, of the recherchi6 little dinners lhe was ac- custoined now atnd then to give at the snug box at Westchester, and expressed a strong desire page: 124-125[View Page 124-125] MR. WINKFIELD- that both Moses and Mr. Barnard should speedily ( do him and his wife the honor to assist at one ofT these quiet affairs. - During the progress of the banquet and whenI all were quite busily engaged with the various delicacies before them, Moses incidentally noticed a most curious action upon the part of the schol- ar, which he held was undoubtedly to be attrib- uted to the eccentricity of genius, under the in- fluence of social mirth He saw him at a certain point glance furtively about the room, and then suddenly slip into his pocket a woodcock fromI big plate. Presently, three Fren6h rolls adroitlyI followed, and shortly afterward, during the tem- porary absence of the waiter, the half of a chicken mysteriously disappeared from before the scholars and undoubtedly flew to the nest of the wood- cock. Though this pleasantry was frequently repeated with other substantial articles, at various stages of the banquet thereafter, Moses conjec- tured it to be the preliminary arrangement of some magical trick, which the genius -purposed perform- ing during the evening, and went on with his own share of the festivity. For the seventh time in his worldly career, our herp attempted to smoke after the dessert, and the effect of this effort with that of the champagne, of the boisterous hilarity of the host, and of the learned disquisitions of the disciple of history, made the scene somewhat indistinct for a while. "I'll tell you what let's do,"exclaimed Barnard with a rather thick utterance. "Let's change coats, go into the street, and have a lark. You take mine, Winkfield; I'll take Lampson's ; and Lampson can take yours !" "No, no," interposed the scholar, starting ner- vously. "Never, sir, never I'll consent to go into the street, but not to change coats. It is not dignified, sir. Never! sir." As Moses at once sustained the scholar, the affable host did not press the proposition, but in amicable revenge compelled the latter to drink another glass of wine Mr. Lampson did so, and presently consented to another. Very shortly he agreed to a third, and thereupon insisted upon a large number more in rapid succession, until he was finally inhabilitated- from an erect posture, or a proper view of historical and other mundane things. It was not remarkable, therefore, that, at this point, he should indiscriminately attempt to put bottles of wine, plates, knives, forks, and other articles openly and violently into his pocket, He seemed also to be suddenly possessed with the idea that Mr. Barnard had been for a long period the enemy of his children, and indistinctly called upon Moses to contrast the ease and lux- ury of that gentleman with their want and misery. He also took into his head the singular idea of alluding to the banquet and to his host's unbound- ed hospitality, in terms of quite furious disap- proval, and ejaculated repeatedly from his sofa sugh strong expressions as "D-n his dinner! D-n his salad !" etc., until incapacitated from saying any thing at all. Mr. Barnard, observing his condition, proposed to Moses that they should murder him "for a lark." But after a considerable discussion, im which Moses showed that he was rapidly be- coming infected, with the slang phrases of the day, they left him gently slumbering upon the sofa, and sallied together into the street. Our hero had subsequently an imdistinct remembrance of attending, among other scenes, the cere- monies of a midnight baptism, in a temple of high-church proclivities, of being compelled by Mr. Barnard to accompany him to the font, among the number of the confirmed, and of that gentleman's coming away therefrom with the im- pression that he had been shampooed. We will not dwell upon the remorse and shame of our hero, upon endeavoring in vain to find, unaided, the key-hole of his door at a later hour. Suffice it to say, his faithful servitor, Brunswick, did so for him, and also held his bed,,util he was ena- bled to place himself upon it, and sink into oblivion.I The next morning, the first thoughts which oc- cupied him, were those which the previous night's society with the historical scholar gave rise to. He remembered the impression he had received during the progress of the banquet, despite the scholar's vivacious air, and boasting references to the convivial appliances of his own home, that there frequently appeared an expression upon his countenance, indicative of the mental agony, which results from a very keen consciousness of the rigors of poverty. His ddd allusion to the misery of his family, and his singular acts in pocketing articles of food from the table, now received in Moses's mind a harrowing solution. Could it be that his family, his wife and little ones, were suffering at that moment, that they even needed those articles? Moses reviewed his antecedents, and considered the struggling life, the traditional poverty and pride of literary characters. With fervent restlessness, he break- fasted, hastily repaired to Mr. Barnard's dwelling, aqd to the library, but finding the scholar at neither of these places, resolved to satisfy his generous impulses by seeking him at his home in Westchester. .He soon reached Harlem, and in that pic. iuresque suburb, was directed to the butcher, as- one most likely to be favored with a knowledge of Mr. Lampson's residence.0 " Lampson! It's the leg-of-mutton man i" said the butcher's man, jogging, the latter's memory. "Don't you know he said his name was that? I remember it from its sounding like sheep, I mean lambs!" Upon further inquiry Moses discovered that the scholar occasionally bought a leg of mutton there, and did it with such an overwhelming air of patronage, and took it off with him with such apparent fear of its not reaching its destination, that he had become inseparably and facetiously associated in the assistant butcher's mind with -that article of food. "We run our carts up that way sometimes, boss. Yes, I knows where he liveth, my lord !" replied the butcher. And after Moses had received from that prolixious immolator, almost confusig direction, in which highways, and cross- roads, and lanes, and corner-lots, and bridges, and "Mr. Johnsonses country-seat, and Mr. Smithses country-seat," were incoherently mixed up. he started off, and at once penetrated the wilds of Westchester. It was a pleasant day, and that, with the vehemence of his purpose, dissipated the fatigue which would otherwise have resulted from the numerous mistakes which he made in the course of his search. He wan- dered about in a country which was all Mr. Lampson had described it--well stocked with 124 MR. WINKFIELD- still-born cities, geese, and retired German shoe- makers. "Where does this road lead, my friend ?" said he to one of these intelligent beings, as he ap- proached a hill. " Up de hill !" " Where does this road lead, my friend ?" said he to another whom he met upon the apex of the acclivity. "Down de hill I" Another undertook to direct him to Mr. Thompson's country-seat, by employing as land. marks a flock of geese, a man with a red head, " a field mit some drees," "and Mrs. Meyer, de vooman vot's zeek mit de leetle shild." At the High Bridge, its keeper, after a concentrated moment of disgust, pity, scorn, and rage, because he had not come expressly to examine that cele- brated architectural triumph, magnanimously con. seated to point out to him from it, the coun- try-seat of Mr. Thompson, peeping through the trees a half-mile beyond. Moses soon approached this splendid mansion, and entered the beautiful and elaborately ltid-out grounds, which sur- rounded it. There was a party of ladies and gen- tlemen upon its balcony, and as lie descried among them one or two. extremely interesting young ladies, it was natural that he should assume as digni- fied a demeanor as possible in approaching them. "They have evidently.caught sight of me," thought he. He was quite correct. Not only had they observed him, but a large black dog, lying at an adjacent stable, had remarked his en- trance, and proceeded at once to resent it as an unwarrantable intrusion. As he had no stick with him, he very properly ran ,at the approach of this animal. And after he had once com- menced that rapid method of locomotion, it was, of course, unwise to distract his energy by at- tempting to select a particular path for his course. He therefore continued to career for some moments in various ones, within view of the balcony, and pursued by the irrepressible dog, who was accompanied in the excitement of the chase by another and smaller one, who had started simultaneously from the balcony. Final- ly the dogs overtook him, and while the poodle stood by and barked violently at him, the honest watch-dog inserted his teeth in his pantaloons, and held him in a very awkward position, until he was released by a servant, amid the excite- ment and perhaps ill-concealed merriment of the witnesses of the pursuit. "Never mind touching your hat," said he has- tily to the polite domestic. "Hold him, or he will come at me again!" The proprietor of the mansion came up and angrily ordered the dogs to be taken off and whipped. "Oh 1 nolsir I I beg of you not," said Moses, magnanimously, as the traces of his indignation faded away at the apologies of the gentleman, who asked him toward the house. " They think you are a tramper !" said the gentleman-. " Yes, I am somewhat dusty,"' replied Moses smiling, " and after all, they only did their duty, you know." "Butt the gentleman does not for all that wish to he exposed to fears of hydrophobia," sympa- thetically interposed a young lady, evidently tak- en with Moses's manners-. " Oh ! never mind that. 1 am not at all afraid of that," replied the gallant Moses, laughing. "This is a very intelligent young gentleman, Thorne," said a red-nosed man seated near. "He's not fool enough to be afraid of hydrophobia. Neither am I. Lief have it as not !" He was no doubt sincere, for from appear- ances he had had it all his life, that is, as far as antipathy to water was concerned. "Take a glass of wine," said he. And as our hero cour- teously accepted, he immediately advanced still further in the estimation of this personage. He was much surprised to find that the possessor of such wealth and magnificence did not know who were his neighbors, for it was only through the hitherto latent knowledge of a servant that the scholar's home was discovered to be near by. After politely finishing the agreeable episode. Moses sought Lampson's residence, and found it amid a grove of trees. Lampson had certainly been right, he thought, in preferring the fresh air of the country to the stifling, mephitic atmos- phere of a city garret, even if the house was somewhat dilapidated. For the sake of the schol- ar's pride, he determined to reconnoitre before he entered. The road wound toward it, and there was a little hedge which divided Its garden from a large field. He concluded to secrete himself behind this hedge. Mr. Lampson and his wife were seated together upon a small front portico. The husband took the hand of his wife, as she refrained for the moment from her work. The sadness of poverty was too evident in her smile and the bitterness in his manner. " Louisa, I might complete the book at once, but I must be thorough. It needs only one or two important facts to be decided, and then the world shall have it !" said he. " And have you determined which publisher shall have it ?" asked the wife anxiously. "No, not yet. I intend. to receive proposals from them first, and then impartially decide. Some must be disappointed," said the scholar, and an air of pity spread over the infatuated gentleman's face. "But that can not be helped, Joseph," replied the wife. "I would not let that trouble me !" 'I think I will confine any arrangement I make with them to the first fifty editions. After the first fifty thousand I certainly ought to have better terms," continued the scholar in pleased meditation. "Certainly. Think of the labor and care you have bestowed upon it !" said the wife. "But, Joseph, had not you better decide quickly who shall have it, and then you know you can per- haps procure a sum in advance upon it !" " My dear, it shall be finished immediately$ I Yes, and my own Louisa shall work no more I" continued the husband rather savagely. ".No more figers aching, and no more eyes aching!" "It'is not for me, Joey I" said the wife, glanc- ing sadly at the two boys, who had built a mag- nificent palace in the sand, and were just then engaged in celebrating its completion by a grand dinner at its side, on a fragment of crockery and two chips. "Wife! you too shall have daily the very best food which Delmonico can give ! You shall have course after course. You shall be all day at the table !" continued the husband in the wildness of his bitterness. " You shall have new 125 page: 126-127[View Page 126-127] MR. WINKFIELD- MR. WINKFIELD. dresses of the choicest fabrics, at the reign of come upon him in fuller force than ever. "There each succeeding fashion. A carriage with live- is an existence," said he,, with springs of thought ries, constantly in attendance, shall await--"' and feeling-and action, deeper than we can search. Here little Joe who ad plucked a dandelion These springs rise from an unknown depth, and for his banquet, offered it to his mamma, and in that depth there seems to be a oneness of feel- then playfully snatched it away to present it to ig with another, which we can not distinctly be- his papa. Moses nearly fell headlong through hold, but which we believe to be there; while the hedge at this, in his desire to ug the child, irreconcilable circumstances floating on the sur- He refrained, however, from a fear that if he en- face of actions, obscure our light and render it tered Lampson might undertake to put him off vain to discover the source whence it flows." of the premises. The boys were bare-footed, Here, as his uncle appeared to be diving very and they were otherwise much in need of prop- deep to discover these springs, and seemed to' r clothing, but they were rugged, hardy little have got into some difficulty in doing so, Moses fellows, rescued him by sympathetically observing " cer- lIt will do them good. It is healthy!" taily V" thought Moses rather fiercely in is nest. "In fact, I feel, Moses, th-at something has died " Well, little boy Joe and Tom, come here, continued he gloomily, ", chord which echoed to boys"W continued the exercised father. "What that which is gone, has snapped in twain. What say you, boys, which do you like best, plum ud- is that feeling of regret and lonely sorrow? Some ding, pound cake, or- y e" part of our own existence, some mystic essence dNv, pound, ever mind. Papa loves Tom has vanished from our being. There is a void in "Never mind, nvrmd aalvsomtehatweete Lhtaserdt ht and Josie," said the wife hastily, "because they the heart, where the life that answered to that are a good Tom and Joe. And, my boys, you life is dead u" love him, for what he brings you already, don't 11"Never mind, uncle," responded Moses. "Cheer y9"7 up, I beg of you, banish these gloomy feelings. you shall have pudding and plum-cake bth She-she will return from Europe soon 1" every day " continued the father recklessly. 6"I can return to the city at any moment if you "You shall, by heaven, boys " should feel my absence, Moses," replied Mr. Top- "Oh I we are going to have plum-cae and lady, lighting up momentarily. "At any rate I pudding every day V' exclaimed the little fellows think a short sojourn in a place of retirement will in excitement, and gamboling about with unus- revue me." ual f-iskiess.As soon as he was gone, Brunswick sought a ual friskiness. . Znltd Moses waited to hear no more. He fled from special audience of his master, wherein he related his hiding-place. He ran part of the way through an event which had occurred in d;onnectio with the woods to shorten his course to Harlem. Un- the affairs of his step-mother, and which was ex- der cover of the groves he blew his nose vio- tremely remarkable; thai is, when the advanced lently as he approached the village, and arriving state of civilization in the United States is taken there, immediately directed his footsteps to the into consideration. It seems that the religious butcher's. He there made such anonymous ar. fervor,ewhich Brunswicks female relatives ad rangements as would place the needy scholar in experienced at the camp-meeting,had stirred up possession of the funds lie had brought in his its accompanying virtues to such a degree, that her pocket, and after abusing the conductor of the lover compassionately took occasion to give her car all the way in returning to the city, at last an opportunity of exercising the noble one of char- reached his home, to think what he should next ity, by bringing to her house, shortly after their do in the matter. return fromthe camp-meeting, ts grandfather, a S decrepid, toothless colored gentleman, a fd estab- 4 * listing him as a boarder in her second-story front bedroom. Though the society of this individual was accompanied by all the difficulties which CHAPTER LVII. surround that of octogenarians, the. kind female proceeded at once to attend to his wants, and THE HIGH-CHURCH IN SUMMER LANE. nurse his aed being with all the enthusiasm of SHORTLY after the return to the 'city, Mr. Top- woman's nature. Upon Brunswick's return with lady learned that Miss De Pompenkops had gone our hero from the country, he found the- old gen- to-Europe with her family. Whether the severe tleman so firmly established in her home,that he shock to her sensibility, which she had received saw it would be useless to make any violent at- at Mr. Wagbull's country mansion, induced her tempts to eject him. Latterly, however, destiny to take this step, or whether it was the rumor in appeared to have assisted him in his desire to re- society that the Prince of Wa-les, to the conster- niove from its fastening this morally strong bower nation of his mother and other high authorities of Mr. Lommeydew's hopes, by an event constitute of his country, had again given himself up to his ing the extraordinary occurrence abovetreferred infatuation for American ladies' society, we know to. , The ancient grandsire had frequently mani- not.' But both Mr. Beekman-bobuts and Mr. fested a moroseness and willful authority in his Toplady well knew that they were out of favor intercourse with his hostess, and on more than with her, the affable De Bobuts being quite ban- one occasion she found him expressing a desire ishbd from her presence, and Mr. Toplady abiding to be left alone amid his muttering and mut bin, in partial grace. The latter signified his deter- as he nursed his aged limbs in the little yard, and mination of again retiring to some sequestered several times, wdhe te war impulses ofpar- place, meet for self-communion and repose. It hospitaiy inucd hermosil to eki in hingprss. mattered little to him whither he went, as long meat, se foundi iposilet oti ainrss-f as he found solitude. The old' feeling of the As these manifstations werethewnatal hanes o wearine5a and staleness of existence had now age an nimt, seknl loe i ohv 126 127 lis own way, and delicately permitted him to en. joy the solitude which he wished to cherish. But a few days of this arrangement had elapsed, how- ever, when her attention was attracted one after noon to his chamber, by the extraordinary pecu hiarity of the stifled sounds which she heard emanating therefrom. They appeared to be of a devotional nature, but still did not seem to par- take at all of either the calm intensity, or rational enthusiasm, which members of the Christian.com- munity are accustomed to manifest in their re- ligious exercises. On the contrary, uncouth sup- plications for the favor of some superior being, seemed eccentrically mingled with entreaties to the same to eat, to drink, to make rain, and to destroy, and with expressions of joy at the apparent grati- fication thereof; or with notes of despair at the imagined refusal. Then again the votary ap- peared to be engaged in a prolonged dance about the chamber, and incoherent defiances to enemies in war and animals were uttered in tones of des- perate joy. These ceremonies were interspersed with frequent musical appliances, in the rude beating of some small instrument like a dull un- resonant drum, or the expression of short and barbarous songs in an unintelligible tongue. Take them all in all, the sounds seemed more the result of some uncivilized being engaged in the savage worship of a diabolical god, than those which should inspire the upright Christian in the sacred exercise of his devotions. With startled emotions,' the humble yet honest believer in the sublime doctrines of civilization crept cautiously to the door of the chamber above, and there was enabled to observe, by means of the keyhole, a sight which shocked her being with mingled sensations of terror and Christian indignation. In the mid- dle of the room, a small but hideous image of wood, of frightful, fiendish features, stared with carved ferocity into vacancy. A string of beads hung around its neck. An old coat and bed- blanket draped its body and lower features, while its head was surmounted with what the observer recognized as the remains of one of her old straw- bonnets, divested of its front and placed in a cocked position. Upon the top of this was stuck, in grotesque irregularity, a single feather, which had evidently been lately torn by the devotee from the tail of the stately male fowl of the premi- ses, for the adornment of his horrible divinity. The infatuated heathen, after all the varied con- tact with believers in the Christian world, and all their sublime teachings, it was plain, still adhered, even at this late moment of his existence, to the belief in the god of his African boyhood, and the mystic Mumbo Jumbo had in Christendom at least one other lucid worshiper, besides Dr. Pusey and his disciples. " You eat. You make de rain. Borriboo, kina bomba! kina bomba ! What for you no eat, you dam rascal? I make you eat. Tongo kin- Iiieum squattux! You like um drink better ?' Very well, you drink dis time !" continued the heathen, who bad boon worked up by this pre- ference of the deity into a frenzy of mingled ex- postulation and entreaty. After a muttered incantation, accompanied by a short tattoo upon the band-box, which heheld in his hand, the wretched Ethiopian placed a bottle at the mouth of the deity with beseeching entreaty, and was in the act of putting it to his own, when the excited eye-witness. in all the - stoutness of her Christianity, burst into the room, t pushed the fragile worshiper from the hideous - embodiment of his hopes, pushed over the latter, - and ended by throwing it out of the window, - blanket, bonnet and all. " Well, that is the most extraordinary thing I ever heard of!'" cried our hero, who had been lis- - tening in wrapt astonishment to the recital of his domestic. "It certainly is a most astonishing and unheard of proceeding !" " An't it, sir ?" continued Brunswick. "The old man couldn't do nothin'. He's so thin-shank- ed, sir, he once broke his leg, putting' on his pan- taloons." " But what has your mother done since ?" in- quired Moses. "Does she keep him there still ?" " Oh ! no, sir," replied Brunswick. "She tus- sled with him, and took him off at once to the police office, but findin' she couldn't do nothin' with him there, she handed him over to. the deacons of Shiloh. There's a great row in the church, sir, about it. A meeting next week has been got up to convert him, and all the members are to be there. Lommeydew says it is the only Way to save him1!" "Upon my word, Brunswick," continued Moses, "I-I should like extremely to be there. I would indeed !" " And you can be, sir," replied the domestic. "There'll'not be many white folks there, but I will show you a good seat." "I shall not intrude, shall I, Brunswick ?" asked Moses. " Oh ! no, sir. There's a good place in the gal- lery, behind the organ. Only you had better come alone, perhaps," said the domestic, delicate- ly referring to the likely forgetfulness of - strict decorum, which Mr. Barnard and Mr. Titan might manifest upon such an occasion. " Very right, very right. I will," replied Moses. -+-- CHAPTER LVIIIL THE ACADEMY OF DESIGN. Two SCHOLARS. Ma. TITMAN, in the pursuit of the little novelties and excitements which city life afforded, custom- arily preferred the society of our hero, Mr. Top. lady, or some other friend, as the pleasures of thought and feeling aroused by the numerous in- cidents of his peripatetic efforts were naturally much increased by the division of labor and re- sponsibility, the sense of security, and the inter- change of philosophical criticisms therein. His repeated and prolonged absences from his friends shortly after their return to the city, had, there- fore, occasioned some remark by Moses, and also caused Mr. Barnard to express some surprise at not finding him with Moses when lie invited the latter-to dine with him, The object of this chap- ter will be to explain this little inequality in his habits, and we shall hereafter relate an interest- ing incident which happened to him about the time that Mr. Barnard hospitably required his presence. Being of a highly esthetic nature, or at least feeling so from his professional connection with the fine arts, he felt it due both to himself and to the latter, to frequently visit the various gal, page: 128-129[View Page 128-129] 123 MR. WINKFIELD. leries of painting .and statuary in the city; and requested the pleasure of assisting her to her of these, he devoted much leisure time to the carriage, to which she blushmgly consented. At Academy of Design, as this excellent institution the door she stopped to recover from the custody appeared to offer the largest opportunity of seeing of the janitors a little pet spaniel, and Mr. Titman and being seen to the lovers of the beautiful. suggesting to her the possibility of danger to the One morning, after having made the tour of favorite, arising from contact in the street below critical inspection in these rooms, according to with larger and unprincipled animals of the same the approved fashion of shading the eyes, cocking species, kindly insisted upon carrying the Fido in the head, assuming different distances, and in- his arms to the carriage. In this gallant avt he dulging in various grimaces intended to be ex- succeeded, with the trifling incident of being bit- pressive of the emotions caused by the1different ten in three places upon his arms, and suffering works of genius in view, he undertook to placidly complex laceration of one of his coat-sleeves, join in the conversation of a party of dowagers by the affectionate animal, whose temper had in one part of the room, upon the subject of their been temporarily soured in his late bondage family management, and in particular, to benevo- among the canes and umbrellas. But Mr. Titman lently applaud one of them, who expressed a de- presently forgave the animal-ay, conceived an termination to put her daughter Julia into oil, as affection for him. In agitated tones and manner, soon as she had finished the month in water. the result of observing Mr. Titman's surreptitious Being rather abashed and intimidated by the efforts to mollify his personal anguish, by rub- furious tosses of the head, suppressed snorts and bing his wounds, the young lady felt it her duty other measures, which the indignant ladies imme- to tender him at once her tanks, apology and diately took to express their disapproval of this cardd; 'and with a sweet smile of condolence left slight intrusion, he retreated to a distant and him standing, in pleased excitement, and regard- somewhat less frequented part of the gallery. less of his smarts, upon the curb-stone. Here his attention was gradually attracted to a The next day Mr. Titman called at her hotel, young lady seated alone in front of, and pensively and sent up his card; and during the rival dis- gazing at, what he supposed was the fanciful pre- play of ceremonious affability which presently sentment of a gorilla, executed by some facetious ensued, they were delighted to discover that they, artist, but which was designated in the catalogue had attended different parties given by the same' as the portrait of the artist himself. She was a individual. Mr. Titman went back to his nimth tall and thin girl, and perhaps not younger than ancestor, and walked away from the hotel with he, but there was a refined bearing about her, the the proud consciousness that he could call again. effect of which was momentarily heightened by We feel we shall be excused if we fail to par- her teder, contemplative attitude, and soft mel. tieularize the incidents of one or two of his suc- ancholy expression. He insensibly walked near ceeding visits. It is sufficient to know that the her to examine an adjacent effort at sentiment ineipient feeling of earnest affection which start- upon- the wall, entitled The Dying Sisters, and ed in his momentary fascination before the pm.- which, apart from its own intrinsic effect, had sence of the gorilla, increased with his intimacy been harmoniously hung by the ingenious com- with Miss Bobby. mittee, to unite with thatof the gorilla, in one Upon his third visit, the latter divulged to him, grand illustration of the physical results of fright her family relations in such a delicate manner as upon timid natures' to prove to him that in character, estate, and re- The lady, aroused from her contemplative mu- ciprocity of feeling, she was all that he had asked sing over the work of art before her by Mr Tit- for in his fastidious ideal. The pensive gloom man's presence, cast a glance at him. Presently and uneasiness which at times had pervaded her he dropped his catalogue, which fell at her feet. manner was then explained. She was an orphan, He jumped hastily toward it, removed it, and left with an only brother, who appeared to be expressed an ardent solicitude to be assured she wanting in a natural share of fraternal affection had not been injured by its fall. The lady con- -a young man who consorted with fin-men, aid, vinced him of her personal safety, whereupon seemed determined that his sister should remain Mr. Titman formally thanked her for relieving through life permanently bereaved of lovers. Mr. him from his anxious apprehensions. The lady Titman learned, with terrible indignation, that then modestly coughed, and Mr. Titnian feigned he had even made the heartless remark to her to seize the opportunity of gratifying a little ama- that "no one wanted her, but her money." teur enthusiasm, by observing, in reply to the "He has made the cruel threat that he will cough, that the display was " very fine ;" which he assassinate any one who shows the slightest pre- was quite sure of, for he felt that at least the ference for my society !" continued the young size of the pictures and the quantity of paint lady sorrowfulfly.. . laid on most of them exceeded any thing he had Mr. Titinan started slightly at this, but imme- ever before beheld. Aroused by the encomium, diately recovered a firm demeanor. the demure lady ventured to ask hinfor his opi- "I have asked you to share this confidence nioaupon one in particular, a conception of the with me, Mr. Titman," proceeded the young lady, Temple of Fame, near by, whereat Titman at " forI I have feared that you might o otherwise at- once launched forth into an elaborate artistic dis- tribute my somewhat abrupt termination of this course thereon, in which he astonished himself interview to my own desire. It is not so.aThe with the number of technical phrases he suc- hour of his return home is approaching, and I ceeded in using, and winding up by powerfully feel'really that it is better that you should not quoting Knoblesdorff upon the architecture of the meet hin. Oh ! I am so unhappy 1" temple, established himself in his fair auditor's At this, Mr. Titman hastily jumped up ezedtul mind as a gentleman of high culture and undoubt- his hat, seized her hand, imprinted aepecfu ed taste in more than one of the fine arts. She kiss thereon, and with .some hurred word o thenmodestly rose to go, whereupon Mr. Titman sympathetic indignation, agailet Whnn estret, he resutely dermined, with clenched coming, I bought a winter suit apiece for them, fist, to-to obey Miss Bobby's wishes in the mnat- eh Vs ter, and avoid the mercenary brother. And to "Quite right I" exclaimed Moses in deep in- shun the presence of the disagreeable young terest. IAnd tey are well and healthy ? How Bobby became henceforth an eccentric part of arethe little fellows now ?" the ceremony of his visits to the Marrycomeup "Oh! finely. In splendid health, sir. Lively House, though he perhaps consoled himself for and merry as crickets. They have glorious this restraintin hoping the time would come appetites, eating and drinking, nnd eating all when he might authoritatively meet and openly day. However, they take a good deal of exercise, ft this unworthy relative with the vehemence and they are not at all injured by the surfeiting!" of his indignation. "And your wife enjoys good health, too, I hope ?" asked Moses. "Oh! yes. Yes, sir. That is, certaly, she is just like the children, joining in all their CHAPTER LIX. healthful sports and feasts," continued the scholar, rising in sudden agitation, and prepar, THE SCHOLAR LOSES HIS GRIP. THE POOTOOPIAN ing to go. "And she will only be too happy DFMoCRAcY. to see you. You must come. You must come. It will be pleasant for you, I assure you, and--" SaOiTLY after his Visit to Westchester, Moses He stopped his words, yet lingered, and, his again went to the Library, and there had the voice falling, he Indistinctly muttered something. satisfaction of finding the historical scholar, Unobservant of Moses's disturbed look, he was whom lie insisted should return with him to the about to finally shake hands with him, when he Evercroft House to dine dhurriedly asked him for a small advance on his "Ime shall dine early to-day, and you will have forthcoming work, and then broke down com- time to reach home before it is dark," said he. pletely. " But you have not yet been to see iue at ny "My children are starving! My wife is dying little box, you know, and some day I will order by inches. I am a God-forsaken wretch, unable the carriage to come in for me ' replied the to provide for them!" cried he in reckless de- lcbular in the old style; "and then I can stay spair. later." Moses rushed convulsively to his dressing-case,, Iloes adroitly mentioned the great historical returned, placed something in the hands of his, work, and the author bolted incontinently with friend, and in a vain attempt to master his own him ti the hotel. That magnificent subject feelings, peremptorily ordered Brunswick, who unnecessarily took up the chief part of the conver- at that moment had gently opened the door to- sation at dinner, mind such was the warmth with enter, to leave the room. which Moses shared his interest in it, that the " Well, I swear!" exclaimed the ystified school lingered with him in his private parlor, domestic, as lie left. "If they wasn't both on to extort a promise of his fulfilling the one hie em cryin' I ha'n't got no eyes I'll take my bad so c frequently made, to visit "the snug little oath, they was both sheddin' tears !* box at Westchester." "Now I wish you to confide in me, and call We have a few neighbors. Pleasant people, upon me freely, whenever you need a-ssistance. but on the whole we have preferred to live some- You understand! I expect it !" resumed Moses, what seclued. hoTe pleasures of attending to our having recovered himself. own little household, you know, have kept us " will ! I will) and my book shall repay YOU t)" somewhat from visitingthem. There are a selet replied the other excitedly. few, however. They think every thing of the "Never mind. You must not sacrifiethat boys." work by any rash, premature movements, Mr. " And they are sensible people !" said Moses. Lampson !" continued Moses. "It is a work which "Ha! hal I must tell you. Positively the ought to have money expended upon it, rather other day, one of them affably sent the children than earning it if justice were done to it"Sir" twenty-five dollars in a hrown envelope to sur- Then it shall be dedicated to you !" cried the prise the little fellows. We think it is an old scholar, in a magnanimous bur-st. "I i',tended lady with a glass eye, living up the road. We the dedication for Bancioft.bBut it Shall be to are not much acquainted with' her, but she saw you " them on the road once, and said she liked their Moses delicately declined this unexpected looks. That is the way with women, you know, chance for immortality. pleased with any thing well-looking. I rather *"Well then, the German edition shall be in- think she wants to adopt Tom. But she can't do scribed to you !" continued the scholar in per- it! She can't*-do it !" reiterated the scholar, sistent gratitude. with symptoms of.violence. "She needn't think Moses repeated his gentle refusal. the can do that !" "4What do you say then to the blue andgold "C ertainly not," said Moses sympathetically. edition for the drawing-rooms?" asked the "She certainly would not entertain the idea. genius dubiously. Though natural, it is still too presumptuous." "No. No." "It is a singular thing about those boys. "Or the vellum edition for corner-stones ?" They actually preferred clothes to toys; wanted As Moses was still firm in his declensions, the something sensible to remember the old lady by. school, after expressing some disappointment, Now I. for my part, like to see children fond of again reverted to his own condition. toys and sweetmeats, don't you V," continued Mr. " I might temporarily get a place, perhaps !' lkmpson, with an air of regret. " However, I suggested he earnestly thought I would gratify them, and as winter is " Certaily-where you could occupy yourself MR. WINKFIELD. 129 page: 130-131[View Page 130-131] 130 MR. WINKFIELD. part of the time, with leisure to pursue your presiding sat, a small ta p in front of it,dand a historical researches P" replied- Moses. wooden settee. The persons present, beside two "hSome public office would be verypleasant I" or three doubtless steady adherents of the judge, continued Mr. Lampson. were four Irishmen and a German, whom the nWithout doubt, and highly honorable. Great faithful constable had collected from the street. mny literary men live through their lives in that These latter were all crowded upon this settee, way. It is a kind of relief to their intellectual directly in front of the chair, at which they were toil. And the salary is certainly a pleasant sub- staringwith evidently very imperfect conceptions statute for drafts on posterity," continued Moses, of the movement, though with the general idea smiling, of proudly assisting as naturalized citizens in the "I have thought of the Custom House," said political drama of the day, and no doubt the the scholar in enthusiasm. particular one of being called upon presently to " The very place. Yes, and I will at once oc. take a drink in the front room, by the officers of cupy myself with securing an appointment there. the meeting. Moses listened with attention to I will busy myself with my friends, Mr. Lampson. the deliberations, and soon learned the nature of I have some, wlto, I am sure, possess the right the movement. Not only had the judge'a term influence. But in ~the mean time, remember, of office expired, but he himself had been lately call upon me at any moment I" rudely expelled from the clique which controlled With a vehement burst of gratitude, and with the municipal destinies of the Democratic party a half-dozen lines of care effaced from his brow, His aspirations as a candidate for the Comptrol- the scholar left to reach his home before dark, lership had been stifled in their very birth by and Moses sallied out to take his evening walk. the Cesar of the ruling faction, and he had been In traversing the neighborhood of the Jeffersod goaded into bolting the regular organization, and market, his attention was arrested by a transpar- forming a new party. From the sparse attend. ent sign which bore the illuminated inscriptions ance at the meeting, Moses inferred that this im- of "Oysters. Five thousand bushels just open- portant.political movement had not yet been ed I Headquarters of the Fourteenth Ward fairly explained to the Democratic rank and file, Pootoops Club I" Observing that a meeting of or else it was going to be a failure. The judge the latter was then and there apparently in prog- proceeded with great vehemence and impressive- ress he descended in curiosity into the cellar, and ness. was presentlydadmitted to the deliberations of nesThe emissaries of the enemy, gentlemen and the aso ciation, which occupied the dimly-light- fellow-eitizens," said he, alluding to a drunken ed back compartment of the cellar. The presid- man who had got into the last meeting of the ing officer was Judge Pootoops himself, who upon club and created a disturbance, because he had observing the entrance of our hero at once call- not been spirituously regaled a sufficient num- ed up a member, and temporarily abdicated the' ber of times, "the emissaries of the enemy box upon which he had been seated. " Ah! you are out ! They have penetrated to our very sustain us, Mr. Winkfield I"exclaimed he. "You midst, but we must be firm and united in the sustain us in our attempts to break up the tyran- holy cause to which we are wedded. We would nical, rascally nepotism and corruption of the not be vindictive, but we will stand by our rights. treacherous hirelings of the enemy, who have To our enemies say we, unconquerable hate and obtained possession of the Democratic General war to the handle, but whoever rallies to our Committee and constituted themselves the dicta- banners we shall receive and treat, (cries of tors of the party." "Hear" and "Hooroo !") treat as one Christian "oCertainly II sustain any effort which may should another. Gentlemen, our stanch friend, be made to overcome the corrupt practices'of Constable Timpkins, has been in communication party organization in thiscountry I" replied Mo- with a prominent painter and glazier, a friend ses, whose notions were a little indistinct as to of the movement, who has patriotically prom-. what the judge particularly referred.. ised to advance us a banner, and we shall soon "1You have heard of our movement. It makes be in possession of a sufficient number of lan- a noise, el r" terns, at present held by a Jew, who is as yet. Moses delicately refrained from asking what non-committal in Chatham street. Fellow-citi- it was, and feigned to have heard some of its zens, the torch-light procession will take place reverberations. on the 5th. Come one 1 Come all, my friends' reI a suppose you will have no objection to aid- Induce your neighbors to join us in this great ing the movement and addressing the Club, Mr. movement and if you have any boys, bring them Winifed '" aidJuge oooops immediately along!I Strike one great, one grand blow for Winkfield ?" said Judge Pootoosimeitly. og- "Gracious! oh ! no, no I I am hardly posted your country d"and in the polities of the day, and if I were I should Here the audience assented with cheers, a most assuredly be obliged to decline." then looked intently through a glass window at "sPerhaps then you would favor them with a the adjoining bar. The judge and his retainer, song, by and by T" suggested the judge in a the constable, at once hastened thereto and after tone of disappointment. "They are getting a a short consultation with the bar-keeper over the little restless, and we must keep them in good subscriptionieavaoon the fmeument, whic hMoses having positively declined to, do this cellar by the latter, persuaded that gentleman t also the judge was fain to privately introduce honor once mioreth Tiipknss drafte onvhistatito. him about as an eminent statesinan of Massachu- Moses delne h juge' polt iniaint setts, an intimate friend of himself and a stanch join in the ceremony, but benevolently encouragend upholder of the movement, and then resumed the ostracized statesman by a ae remarks uphon the candle-box of the chair. There was not an.. his patriotic spirit an the dabparn juriel on. hi other article of furniture in the room beside this cause. These he strengthened by aredycn MR. WINKFIELD. 131 tribution of five dollars toward the necessary I think I was right," continued the old lady. sum for convertig hthe Hebrew lantern-owner, "I think I was right-in not waiting for Thomas, and then left, as he had learned sufficient for the as time being respecting thd matter. "Oh ! the devil take Thomas I". cried Mr. Wag. bull, in impatience. " Can't you let me know what-" "Disrespectful language to me, Benjamin Wil- CHAPTER LX. kins !" interrupted the old lady, stopping, andsol- emnly shaking her head to add weight to her CONSTERNATION IN THE WAGBULL HOUsEHOLD. reproach. "To one who has watched over you THE visits of our hero to Mr. Wagbull's resi- "But I didn't mean any disrespect! I want dence, as perhaps the reader may naturally con- to know what yousent for me for." cried the jecture, increased in frequency and in intensity son, moderating his impatience. "What is it? upon the return to the city. The domestics of Hnme kitchen boiler exploded? Is one of tt the establishment, with pleased countenances and hora dead, or has that wood-sawyer come here sagacious air, held many interesting conversa- dran -n ," tione upon the probable results of this increased Neither, neither, my son," replied the old intimacy, the cook even going so far to establish lady impressively. It is a matter of far greater her prophetic skill as to lay an amiable wager of importance than any of these. It is one which, a dozen of porter against the -feigned increduli- If ever in my early youth it had been made known ty of the coachman. As the fatuous Irish page to my parents, to your grandpa and grandma was a participant in all these scenes, it was high- Wilkins, Benjamin, it would haven-" ly natural for him to grin with unusual express, "0 pshaw But very well. Goon, go on. iveness upon Mr. Winkfield in admitting him at I shall get it presently," murmured Mr. Wnbull. the door, and perhaps just as natural though "I Ihad bettersend for Timroth.W I thilI somewhat improper for him to linger about the had better send for Timothy Yes, thattinlthe parlor door, or appear in that apartment at un- best way," at last concluded the old lady. called-for moments during the stay of our hero The page obeved the summons of his aged therein. Upon one of these occasions, the latter mistress, and by her directions unfolded what he having been led away, by the ardor of his feel. saw in the parlor two days previously. ings, and endeavored to express his happiness to Mr. nagrull remained in silence. Miss Wagbull by a pleasant act of intimacy, ob- "Sustain yourself I" said the old lady agitated. served the page standing in front of him and to ly, as she observed her son's apparently awe- all appearances in a sound sleep. He seized the struck condition. unfortunate intruder by the neck and with an al- Ile still remained in silence. ternation of the epithets of wretchc" and "good "I think i n ia best to send for c eesie at once. fellow," asked the terrified youth "if-if he had Don't you think so ?" continued she, in colen- seen any thing tb,"y a treated excitement. "eYes," replied the boy," rp seen you a-" "O! yes. She can explain it to you, I sup- "Never id," interrupted our hero hastily, pose," replied her son briefly, and refraining It was evidently necessary to take him into from making any further observations. their confidence, and they did so at once with sub- Miss Bessie, being duly apprised of her parents' stantial testimonials of their contracttwith him, wishes, came. She then confessed to them, with In less than an hour, owing to the '-ccom- some tears, her knowledge of Moses's declared plice's weakness in showing his money in the attachment for her, and 7iot only that, but her kitchen, all the domestics were admitted by hita own reciprocity of feeling thereto, in her loving as sub-confidents of the scene he had witnessed, him, and only him, as well as she did her "dear Two days thereafter, Mr.-Wagbull, while in his dear father and grandmother I" office down-town, received a sudden and urgent "This is a pretty thing to come to a father's note from his mother, requesting his immediate ears I" said Mr. Waghbull. presence at home, and in much alarm and anxiety As for the horror-stricken grandparent, with hastily repaired to his dwelling, her feelings intensified by the terrible confession "What is it? What is the matter, mother ? whichshe now heard from the lips of her grand- said hie, as he appeared before her, with vont5l- daughter, she at once requested her son to trains. derable disorder of breathing. port her afflicted being to some quiet home for I sent for you, Benjamin, to, come at once," aged and indigent females that she might h said his revered parent agitatedly, "as I thought forth seek in lonely solitude the happiness which it the best way of giving you presence of mind, she failed to receive from the society of her kin- of giving you time to prepare yourself for the dred ; and upon his not manifesting any alacrity dreadful emergency, so as to be able to-" in thekmatter, took herself to her room, no doubt "What emergency, mother? What is it?" to make preparations for the same purpose, though "And I didn't know exactly whether I should she weakened her declaration of leaving upon wait to send the coachman instead of Timothy, in a the way, by observations about using her oin matter of such consequence. But then I considered Personal effforts at the front-door to prevent~ our the time I should lose in waiting for Thomas, who hero from entering, causing Dr. Teilcer to in- had gone to the hay-market, and I-" terfere, etc., etc. For a day or two, Mr. Wagbull But what is the matter of consequence, contented himsef with goingabou'the -ouse mother, to which you refer ? Let me know it, rendern himself very unlaant ter house, exclaimed Mr. Wagbull, in anxiety. ':taking no notice ofvteryng eaand ostentation of' "Dear me ! I never was so fluttered in my life letter-writing upon the part of the young lady- as I was when I sent it, and I am now ; but and what few remarks he made during the period page: 132-133[View Page 132-133] MR. WINKFIELD. were principally confined to mutterings and talk about " walking on mines," and about the "sub- terraneous working," etc., of our hero. After which lie concluded that lie might venture to sit down, and rationally discuss the matter with his mother in her room.I " This thing must not be. I can't have it at all !" commenced the old lady in considerable dudgeon to him, upon their resuming the subject. "It is all your fault-all your fault !" " My fault, mother ?" replied the astonished Mr. Wagbull. " Yes, What do you allow the young jacka- napes to come about here for, disturbing the peace of the family, and putting ideas into Bes- sie's head that she would never have thought of ?"1- " Well, I don't know as he has been guilty of any decided intention to injure our happiness; and as for that, mother, perhaps Bessie may have put as many wrong ideas into his head as he into hers, for that matter I" replied the old gentleman pettishly. " I know it; I know it V" said the grandmother musingly. " To think of that child, after all the love we've bestowed upon her, and the times I have kept her near me and occupied myself talk- ing to her at home, when she wanted to be gad- ding about I And after all, she goes and contracts a friendship for a person who is comparatively an entire stranger, and for all I know-a jacka- napes I" " Well, I don't know about that, mother. It depends altogether upon what you may wish to be inferred from the term. For-" " Think of itI It is a man 1" cried the old lady, in shrill indignation. "It is a man she is fond of!" This was a clincher, and the son, in filial bene- volence, whatever his own feelings may have bccu, sympathetically expressed his deep horror at the backsliding of his daughter, and feigned such a contortion of features as he supposed would be most likely to convey to his aged parent his mel- ancholy and irritation at the unhappy state of affairs. "Dut," continued he, in a deprecatory way. after a pause, " I don't see, aner all, why it i3 not, perhaps, to be expected that-" "What !" exclaimed the old lady in great con. sternation. "Do you mean to attempt to palliate this I?" "Oh i no, no, mother," hastily interposed Mr. Wagbull, fearful of unneccessarily agitatiig the old lady. "I was only going to say-" "Do you mean, Benjamin Wilkins !" continued the old lady fiercely, "to uphold your daughter, to connive with her in these proceedings against one who has had the whole care of her, since-" "10 pshaw I there is no conniving about it at all. I don't know any thing about it! I am not going to be continually bothered because a young man ses fit to call on my family, and what have I to do with it, any way ?" asked Mr. Wagbull irritatedly " And'you mean coolly to sit still," continued the old lady with subdued Intensity, "and see these thimgs goig on directly under ' your " What is the use of making such a fuss about nothing ?" asked Mr. Wagbull, proposing to rea- son with his excited parent. " Now, just listen to me, mother. I don't see as there is any thing very-." "There, I knew it. I knew it. I expected it! Procrastination is the thief of time. Hope on, hope ever. Whatever is, is right. Be wise, and you'll be happy. Give a man an inch, and he'll take an ell. Lead a horse to water, and he will not drink. In prudence there is wisdom. Make hay while the sun shines. - January thaws bring forth May roses. Fools make wise men weep and wise men make-" "Wait a moment, mother," interjected the somewhat confused son, as the old lady was pro. ceeding fervently to bring her whole stock of wise saws to bear upon the important matter. "That's it I wait a moment l" proceeded the old lady at lightning speed. "In much merri- ment there is food for sorrow. Where ignorance is bliss, it's folly to be wise. Let one man know a secret, and it will be no secret. Rub'a bull's nose with sage tea, and his tail will--'" "0 pshaw ! I don't care what you do with bull's noses," said Mr. Wagbull, losing his pa- tience. "I would like to have you listen to me a moment, just for one moment, and you will be satisfied, I hope, with what I have to say." "I shan't do it I" said the old. lady decidedly. "I know what you are going to say. You are going to connive at and defend that jackanapes, who has come here and-" "Fiddle! What have I to do with that jack. Ignapes? As for that matter, I wi.h he was in California, or any other place, as long as he was pleasantly situated," said Mr. Wagbull, rather doggedly, as he began to feel that Moses was in- deed creating a difficulty within his family circle, thou 1 in a different way from that observed by the od lady. #I won't have it ! I won't have it !" cried the lI lady, her excitement renewed by reflection. "I brought you up, and I won't have it. I nursed you dari-g your tae'Aing, I watched over you, I physicked you, and I have now, just the same as ever, to watch and-" "Very well. I know it, but4I can't do any thing. -What can I do ?" exclaimed Mr.Wagbull, agaia making a pathetic appeal on his own ac- count to the old lady. "Now, if you just listen to me for a moment, I'll-" "I won't. Nothing can make me. But I shan't submit to any thing that may happen and I won'tI I give you fair warning, Benjamin Wilkins l",0 "Very well, have it your own way, if you want to," said Mr. Wagbull grasping his hat and cane in desperation and leaving the room. "I am inot going to be bothered any more." And thereupon the distracted gentleman, deter- miniig to let things take their natural course, in- mediately took himself into the street, and to a neighboring pot-house, for all we know. CHAPTER LXI. MOSES JIAS A BRIEF nUT INTERESTING INTERVIEW WITH THE GREAT COLLECTOR OF THE PORT, AND -RECEIVEs AN APPOINTMENT FOR A FUTURE 0N5 IT is not necessary for us to remind our intelli.- gen-t readers that Mir. Wagbuil was really very 132 MR. WINKFIELD. fond of our hero. There in fact appeared to him but one point in Moses's character, which he von- sidered a weakness. In the noble science of pol. itics, he was forced to set him down as an Utopi- an dreamer, an impracticable schemer. We are now happily called upon to chronicle a series of events, in which our hero became deeply involved, and during the progress of which, we shall notice an entire and radical change in this opinion, which the old gentleman had hitherto entertained of Moses's diplomatic abilities, and we shall show him compelled, by the ordinary testimony of his senses and reasoning powers, to acknowledge an extraordinary display of those very qualities of intellect, which he had hitherto denied to his young friend.- These will appear a complete and triumphant refutation of the sentiments which he had previously expressed thereon. To - be sure, the reader may observe in the course of these events, that our hero was, per haps, assisted in their happy development, by the natural working of external principles, but so it is in the progress of every human action. Man's efforts and chance are ever inexplicably inter- twined, and it is impossible for the most subtle dissecter of occurrences to separate the one from the other, even in the most ordinary instances. This gives an opportunity to cavilers to exer. cise their talents, and undoubtedly some such evilly-disposed persons may be inclined, after perusing the following events, to feel and say that they came to a happy denouement, rather from their own force than any thing Mr- Wink- field did, and that he was even wholly unac- qiainted with their true nature from beginning to end. But what of that? If the successes of some of the greatest statesmen or generals which the world has produced, be thus minutely exam- ined, some cynical critic may doubtless be found to attribute the crowning effect to hazard, or the natural flow of events, rather than to his fellow- beings' efforts. We do not say that a just scr- tiny should not be undertaken, and indeed we feel that as far as possible an arrival at a true discrimination of the various powers jointly pro- ducing a mundane result, should be ardently and persistently sought for by the philosophic mind; but it would be a happy rule, if this were usually attempted for a good purpose instead of an evil one. If mankind habitually used their judgments in such cases, to exonerate a fellow-being from blame for want of success, and to attribute fail- ure, where it generally belongs, to the force of extrinsic circumstances, we would have, refrained from making these remarks. We have spoken feelingly upon the subject, for we ourselves know whatit is to have suffered from the one-sided, but, alas! apparently natural working of this sin- gular principle. We have known instances, in our experience, where, from want of success, our effbrts have been considered even asinine in their nature; and the more deeply interested in us the judges thereof, the more explicit seems to have been the expression of some such hearty disap- proval thereof. But let us return from this honest digression of the moment, which ought to have the effect of Protecting our hero against any thoughtless con- clusions upon the part of the readers of this mar- rative, with regard to the part he may play herein, and perhaps be the means of securing to him, in the minds of many, an impartial award of that admiration which he generally deserves as the firm and intelligent upholder of some of the finest principles of our constitution. We sincerely hope it will at least thwart any attempts which vulgar minds may make to cast ridicule upon his adven- tures, and convert them into a source of ill-judged levity and merriment. It will be remembered, that, in the last interview which Moses had with his unfortunate acquaint- ance, Mr. Lampson, he had determined that a place in one of the public offices would be a pleasant situation for the latter, and also that it was agreed upon, the Custom House offered the best inducements to a person desirous of some leisure for literary pursuits. Moses resolved and promised that, he would immediately proceed in the business. The opportunity was offered to him at an evening party which he attended shortly afterward. The salons of the accomplished lady giving it were filled with the &ite and beauty of the city, but the person who became at once, on this interesting evening, the object of Moses's devotion, was not any one of the fair sex, but a gentleman of portly mien and heavy smile, a gentleman in fact with a Presence. This gentle- man was known to the world at large as the chief of the revenue department of the national govern- ment at New-York, though in political circles it was well known that the duties, which he was or ought to have been performing about this time, were those connected with the dispensation of the presidential patronage in furthering the interests of the illustrious chief of the nation, who was then very properly looking to a reflection. Upon learn- ing that this affable gentleman, then circulating in the drawing-room, was such-an important person- age as the Collector of the Port, Moses at once unsophisticatedly proposed to be introduced to him, to lay a short statement of facts before him, in reference to his application, and receive immedi- ately thereupon the desired appointment for Mr. Lampson in writing; thus avoiding the necessity of revealing the latter's unfortunate condition to intermediate parties. The persistence with which Moses followed the great politician from one room to another, and closely watched all of his motions, in endeavoring to seize the first courteous opportunity offered for the furtherance of his plans, became at last an object of attention on the part of the states. man himself. Besides possessing the usual sa- gacity of a person experienced in reading the motives of human nature, especially when dis- guised, the latter had at this moment particular reasons for believing he saw something else in Moses's close scrutiny than mere political solicita- tion or social admiration. It was an important week in politics. Upon the Tuesday following the annual nomination by the Republican party of its candidate for the may- oralty was to be made, atnd the heartburning, jeal- ousies and machinations which arose in the se- cret conclaves of the party itself were far ruore intense and exciting to the members than the open battle which was to take place subsequently with the foe. The party was violently divided upon the claims of two principal candidates for the nonmination. and -it vas well known that the only hope of either to obtain it depended upon the will of the collector, and the direction of his influence in-the convention. That officer, though appointed by the President, had pleasantly turned 133 page: 134-135[View Page 134-135] 134 MR. WINKFIELD. MR. WINKFIELD. 135 a traitor to him and secretly favored the presiden- tial aspirations of a distinguished member of his cabinet. It was the collector's object to use the influence of his position in the coming elections in favor of those aspirations without an overt act of treason to the President, that is, of securing for them the fealty of the candidate upon whom it should be bestowed, without being found out. The position, though amusing, was shaky, and required great ecrecy and caution in being sus- tained. His principal inthe Washington Cabinet had therefore informed him of what measures of espionage, treachery and intrigue he now wished to have performed for the furtherance of his in- terests, and had judiciously proposed to dispatch to him a proper person, one particularly faithful and capable, who might under his directions exe- cute the plans without danger \of compromising their relations with the administration. "If I can spare him from here he will arrive," ran the letter, in a day or two and present hiu- self at once to you. He has been properly in- structed as to the caution to be used, and has been fully advised by me upon the measures to be executed. After consulting with him upon the main points you can safely leave him to faith. fully fill up the outlines. Be careful of your places of interview, by all means, as he is a stranger to localities." So when Moses, finally observing a propitious moment for an introduction, advanced with the host to the great collector, the latter reverting to- the letter he had received, was induced to bestow some attention upon the movements of our hero, but still cautiously, and awaiting further develop- ments upon his part. In consequence of the favorable aspect of the collector, Moses proceeded at once, after the salutatory remarks, on his bene- volent purpose.7 "If you will allow me, sir, said he, as they .were left together, '1I will inform you at once, sir, that in thus trespassing upon your presence, I am animated by a desire to further the interests of another person-a gentleman whom I trust you-" Ah ! you are a stranger here," said-the states- man, looking at him with increased significance. "You come from a friend, ahem !" "Yes, sir," replied Moses modestly. "Yes, sir, I am a comparative stranger, but-" "Hush ! 'sh !" said the other suddenly. Eh ?" ejaculated Moses, as he observed the collector looking around him in apparent alarm. "'Sh! Some one comes," whispered the lat- ter, in sudden confidence. "Yes. Yes, sir, but-" " A very chaste bought! a very chaste thought, indeed !" exc aimed the collector aloud., "I think he s one of our finest poets, sir ",' "I beg your pardon, but from some stupid inadvertence I did not-" "Oh ! frequently, frequently P" continue the collector loudly. "He often dines with me to chat upon the fine arts." 1I hope you will pardon me," cried Moses, who imagined that the collector had fallen into a kind of soliloquizing state; "but I thought Imight-" . 'Sh I can see Badger coming, and there is Wagbull looking this way ! Present yourself to- morrow, at eleven, at .the basement-door of my house, disguised as a milkmna, Be cautious ! Continue to mingle in the festivities, and don't come within ten feet of me during the evening," said the politician in a low voice, but with great rapidity, and he immediately continued as Mr. Badger approached them: "Ah ! yes, ahem! A very noble sentiment,,very indeed! (Remember, keep quiet and keep in another room! I leave you now!) Ah Badger! how are you to-night ?" And off he went, leaving Moses to philosophize as best he could upon the abrupt termination of his application. Mr. Wagbull, as our readers may have already seen, was one of the many respectable citizens, who so assiduously attend to the wants of needy and worthy office-seekers, under the hallucination that they are performing one of the first duties which the citizen owes to his country, and in fact, exercising an immense influence upon the progress of civilization in general; which is prob- ably quite true, though in a way little suspected by them. The social influence of there wretched dupes was impressed upon them as of particular importance, and Mr. Wagbull, in great political ardor, had intended to make this social gather- ing an occasion for homage to the collector, in behalf of one of the candidates whose cause he had warmly espoused; having, furthermore, Itme indefinite hopes of inducing the unsuspect- ing collector, in a weakened moment, to commit himself. From the natural circumspection of the latter against such wiles, or what was more likely, from Mr. Waghull's own confused no- tions as to how he should proceed, he had not been able to say a word to the great man, even upon such an allowable subject as the weather. When he observed Mr. Winkfield, therefore, in apparently familiar conversation with the cyno- sure, he disengaged himself as soon as possible from an old lady who had attached him to her ear- trumpet, and with a mingled feeling of envy and curiosity, sought the presence of Moses, just as the latter was recovering from his astonishment, and was soliloquizing upon the adroitness with which public men are accustomed to guard themselves against the approach of solicitors, it having struck him that this example of it wa about the most rapid and efficacious one that could be insti- tuted. " Eh i?" said Mr. Wagbull, in great curiosity, a I see you have had a conversation with the collector".. "Yes," replied Moses, continuing his solilo- quy. (" Feigning literary abstraction, he pre- vents my broaching the subject at once, and only grants me an interview by coupling it with commands which are extremely disagreeable- very !") " What-what were you talking about," asked Mr. Wagbull softly, still a prey to his curiosity, and envying the late opportunity of Moses. " Oh ! nothing! nothing!- Merely respects," replied Moses. "I had scarcely time to address him before we were interrupted. (But I must be firm and waive all foolish self-respect in this matter," continued lie in heroic meditation. "I will obey his commands, for I must have the in- terview, milkman or not.")- . The thought of the fine opportunity, which Moses had possessed and which might have been used in favor of Mr. Wagbull's candidate for the mayoralty, caused an irritation in the old gentle- man's bosom. lie regretted again and audibly Moses's want of that peculiar gemus'which dis- poses men to interest themselves in such matters, and inwardly characterized the latter's hasty pro- -posal to adjourn to the card-room, as an evidence of his flippant indifference to such momentous con- cerns. CHAPTER LXIL THE ADVENTURES OF SHORTE. Ma.BoBBY was not perhaps an iniiately bad person, but was still of that class of young gen- tlemen quite common in civilized communities who grow up with the idea that to spend money on one's self is the chief aim of existence. His method of doing so was not peculiar to himself either, nor was the fact of having already dissi- pated his own inheritance in such foolish excite- ment as the society of firemen and other rough characters. furnished him. Young men may be found at all times and in every place who go through precisely such a course before they are hanged, or marry. It is quite natural for such characters also to covet time possessions of their relatives when they have no longer any of their own, and have also exhausted the little supplement of spendthrift bankruptcy, which consists in borrowing of their tailors and boot-makers. Mr. Bobby was therefore quite in earnest when he threatened to visit the intervention of a third par- ty against. his fraternal privilege of spending his sister's money for her with such severe meas- ures as cutting said party's throat, or removing his cuticle. It was not from moral derangement that he proposed such things, but it was only un- der the painful aspect of the necessity of such measures to protect his own rights. In fact, it may be doubted whether after all he possessed sufficient contempt for the laws to essay the first pleasant process, or sufficient' scientific know- ledge to accomplish the second. 1 Now among those who frequently enjoyed the society of this young gentleman, at the carriage- house of Hose Company No. 20, chiefly before and after conflagrations, was an individual who belonged to the class well known to every fire company as "runners," young ragamuffins who regard fires as special dispensations sent to pro- vide them with clothing and other articles of personal necessity, who worship "the machine" as an idol, and look upon the- officers and mem- bers of the company as priests of the temple, to be numbered among whom is one of the princi- pal aims of their ambition. This lively young outcast, called Shortey, from his vain attempts to ateal any coats that did not reach to his heels or pantaloons which he was not compelled to roll up in two or three folds at the bottom, had a nimble perception of situations and a brilliantI way of putting them to his own behoof. So when he heard the afflicted Bobby's distressed remarks in convivial moments respecting his sis- ter's superfluous jewelry and money, and the be- neficent purposes to which such valuable stuff might be put were it in proper hands, he pro- posed to take the first step toward such a benev- olent consummation by causing it to come into his own hands through the gentle process of stealing. After a short and easy meditation upon the plan of action he proceeded to insert it as a fixed fact in the general scheme of mundane events by inserting himself at a proper moment in the Bobby apartments, to the doors of which he had been accustomed to familiar access as casual errand-boy for Mr. Bobby. How intense is the intoxication of feeling which is experi- enced in the fascinating pastime of robbery I We do not, of course, speak from experience, but merely reason that it must be so from general principles and from the examples which are pre- sented on the historic page in the achievements of the illustrious thieves who constitute nine tefiths of its heroes. The pleasures of hope, of the execution of a purpose, of a proud conscious- ness of abilities, of the chivalrous virtues of cour- age, self-reliance, and daring are all harmoniously mingled in one grand thrill of spiritual e6xalta- tion. Such the gallant Shortey experienced as he paused for a moment in his successful rummage of Miss Bobby's drawei-s. Every thing had been propitious. It was the evening hour of nine. Mr. Bobby as usual was paying his evening visit to the hose-house, and Miss Bobby was upon one to a place of entertainment. Should either re- turn, he could slip into the parlor of the suite, or one of the two adjoining bed-rooms and qui. etly gain the hall by its door; for according to the excellent arrangements of this hotel its suites were especially adapted to facilitate operations of this nature. In his coqtempt for danger he gave utterance to his enravished feelings in an audible snicker. He was contemplating reclin- ing in an easy-chair of the parlor for the pur- pose of indulging in an open haw-haw as the comical brilliancy of the whole affair struck him, when he heard footsteps in the hall apparently approaching the apartments. Shortey was fallible. There were too many doors ready for him to escape through. le hes- itated. The hand of some one was upon the parlor door-knob and a key was being inserted in the lock, when he threw himself into neither of the chambers, but into a convenient closet, which stood directly at his side. The comers were evidently a lady and gentleman, the former without doubt Miss Bobby, though the latter, Shortey knew from the foreign accents of the voice which he heard, was not her brother. " It is quite close in here," said Miss Bobby to her companion as she turned on the gas. "And -dear me, I positively thought I detected the odor of-of-really, of onions, as I came in. Did not you?" " Why, no. But now I come to think of it, perhaps I do smell a slight odor of that kind. It bas escaped without doubt from the kitchens be- low," replied her companion delicately. "It will disappear presently, no doubt," con- tinued the lady, opening the window. "I am glad we did iot attend the entertainment, after all. What a charming walk we have had, and, dear friend, I feel so grateful to you for it I" "Oh !" said the friend, evidently much affect- ed by this, "don't mention it, I beg. It is I who should be grateful for the exquisite happi- ness I experience in your society. 0 Moffa- tina !" " Ah ! how delightful it is to experience sweet friendship ~n one's home !" murmured the lady ina suffused tone. " And in that sacred precinct may I not ever page: 136-137[View Page 136-137] 136 MR. WINKFIELD. call you Moffatina, dear Moffatina ?" said the gen- tleman in reply. There was a slight noise as of the moving of chairs, followed by a pleasant sound. The gen- tleman was evidently very properly kissing the lady. "Yes, and the time will come when I will shout that sweet name in defiance from the house- tops I" continued lie vehemently, "at the-the unworthy being who has the endearing privilege of calling you sister, and peremptorily ask *him what-what he means ?" "HushI hush ! I pray you. Ie is not here, but 'tis best to be ever cautious. His cars may reach from the engine-house even here l" inter- rupted the lady. "True!" replied the gentleman in undisguised irritation. "See! he has taken7Pet with him again, to amuse his companions with her tricks. He will not be back till a late hour." "There is one benefit in his low attachment for these engino-men," continued the gentleman as his irritation faded away. "It enables me, dear Moffatina, to enjoy undisturbedly the pleas- ure which I deem the greatest I could be blessed with!" "Dear Mr. Titman I I am so happy, and yet so unhappy !" proceeded the young lady. "He makes me so unhappy, Cruel Dalkewell " "But, by heaven! for your sake alone this state of things shall not exist. No, I will meet him face to ftce," continued Mr. Titan chival- rously, aroused again by the young lady's decla- ration of trouble. "I will defy his threats, and sternly, savagely demand from him-" "Gracious! Hark " interrupted the young lady. -0 "What is it ?" asked Mr. Titman, pausing. "It is he I His footsteps !" exclaimed the young lady, rising agitatedly from her seat and hastening toward the parlor-door. "I hear them in the hall. He is returning already !" "Good God! where shall I go?" aked Mr. Titman, rising from his seat with equal alacrity. "Where? Into his bed-room ?" . "No, noI He may come in that way. But do please avoid him!" ,t "Yes!1 But where? Into-to yours ?" said Mr. Titman, with some appearance of panic. "Where -where shall I go?" " Heavens ! I am so distracted! IHere, here, into this closet I" said the lady, and at these words Mr. Titman at once seized his hat and cloak, and leaped toward and into that place of concealment. Miss Bobby had scarcely closed the door upon him when her brother and dog entered. Shortey had heard every word of the above interesting conversation. His genius rose at its denouement. Though the society of the lover in the closet was unexpected to him, and that of any one an impediment to freedom of action in such a confined space, he instantly seized the sit- uation and seized Mr. Titman by the hair, placed a hand over his mouth and threatened to choke him to death if he uttered a word. The bewil- dered refugee gasped in overwhelmed terror at this unexpected rising of the closet against his security. Were demoniac spirits ordinarily kept in the jars and glass bottles upon its shelves, and had one of these come forth to attack him? His legs gave out beneath him, and he would have sunk violently upon the floor if the supernatural agency had not- mitigated his subsidence by means of its grasp in his hair. " Guy me yer hat and yer wropper," whis. pered the apparition, fragrantly' The lover was unable to do so from the paraly- sis of his terror,.but he was equally unable to take any opposition to surrendering the articles mentioned. " Take off yer coat and guy it to me! Leave the change in it." The appalled victim made a semi-unconscious effort, and succeeded iu obeying this second re- quest. "Now say any think and I'll saw yer juggler, or expose yer to him as yer imposing' onto, yer villink 1" whispered the mysterious power, eon- cluding its conversational effort. Had the terrified lover possessed the compre- hension of affairs to have known that the last alternative of this dreadful threat could not have been other than a piece of audacious satire, it still would have apprised him that he was in a situation wherein he was debarred from making 4 resistance of any kind against this unexpected antagonist. As it was, he occupied his time in simply breathing, being temporarily content with that simple way of continuing his existence. Shortly continued ready for' the emergenuie which might arise without the closet, and as it is our object in this chapter to follow the adventure of this ingenious and daring spirit to its issue, we will briefly recount what took place on the exterior. , " Alit is that you, Bakewell ?" said Miss Bob- by4astily placing herself in a chair and assum- in a srene attitude, as her brother entered. "Yu are home soon ' " " i'm. I thought I'd get a goodpiglit's sleep of it," replied the pleasant youth,' condescending to explain. "Igot devilish tired last night at the carriage-house, helping to elect, the officers and drinking the punch. What is this smell ofgonions here?" -1 1 eally don't know. I thought I detected it too. It must come through the register from be- low," replied the young lady. " Well, I will turn it off." "And Pet is glad to get back too!" continued Miss Bobby, attempting to conceal her agitation by complaisance. "Come here, Petty, come here, little dog." The animal was about obeying his mistress's command, when he paused, snuffed uneasily about the carpet and whined. ' "What is the matter with the little devil ?" asked the brother, yawning, and throwing his legs upon a chair. " I don't know. He must be affected by the odor also. Go lie down, Pet. Be quiet, sir," said the young lady authoritatively, to the un- dasy dog. The unsatisfied animal obeyed. "I think I'll step down to the reading-room to see if the papers say any thing about our elec- tion, before I go to bed," continued Mr. Bobby, rising from his chair, after a moment or two. "I shan't be gone but a short time, but leave the gas burning hn here if you go to bed before I get back, sis." " Oh ! yes, I will!1" said the trembling young lady, with ill-concealed satisfaction at this unex pected favor of chance. And receiving her promise, the young man be took himself from the room and went below. As soon as the sound of his footsteps died away on the staircase, Miss Bobby rushed in excited agi station to the gas-jet, diminished the light, and then turning to the closet, hastily opened its door. As she was about invoking her lover, in a frantic whisper, to come forth, there rather abruptly e nerged a form, wrapped in his well- known Raglan, with his hat already placed upon his head, and his face prudently muffled from view. No words emanated from his lips, but in sweet token of adieu he hurriedly waved his dis- engaged hand, rapidly gained the door, and sped toward one of the staircases,. Whether he met his friend Bobby in his egress, and accounted to him for his presence, or evaded him entirely, we can not say ; but Shortey had been absent scarely a moment when Mr. Bobby returned with the newspapers in his hand which he had secured for the purpose of reading in bed. The dog, who had been aroused from his uneasy position by the recent unusual events in the apartment, darted in trembling joy at his master, looked up, whined again, and then with renewed courage was about directing his course to the closet, when his mistress forcibly took him in her arms, and, irritated by the fear that some suspi- cions might be aroused in her brother's mind by the animal's disquiet, vehemently tapped him upon the head and placed him in his basket in the corner. A sufficient time had elapsed, be- tween the departure of the successful Shortey and the advent of Mr- Bobby, for- the extraction of Mr. Titman also from the diffi-ulty. But that unhappy gentleman was in a state of stupor, im- minently bordering upon that of insensibility. He began to revive from this situationjust as the conversation, which Mr. Bobby renewed with his sister turned once more upon the vexed sub- lject of lovers, and just as the gentleman, no doubt, especially alluded to him therein. "1Who's that little tailor I saw you with on the Avenue, yesterday ?" asked the young man. "Confound him! if he comes around here, hum- bugging you, I'll blow his head off; or any of 'em." - "He's not a tailor! How dare you continue to talk to me in this way, Bakewell?" replied the young lady in indignant irritation. "Am I not older than you ? I shall manage my own affairs, I assure you, and what is more, gratify my own wishes and not yours in selecting my society !" "1You're a fool, Moff, and devil take me if I don't show these -sneaks there's some sense left in the family any bow, if they-there's that dog whining again! What is the matter with him ? Here, Pet, come here. What is the matter with ypu ?" The restless dog, assured by.the command of his master, jumped up vigorously, rushed toward the closet, and commenced to bark loudly. " He is not hungry. By heaven ! he smells a rat !" said the brother, rising in excitement and walking toward the closet. "By Flanagan, there is a rat in here !" continued he, laying down his papers on a chair. " Wait a moment ! Now you'll see somne fun, Mofrey, Keep quiet and you'll see some fun !'' Miss Bobby entered fully into the spirit of the - suggestion. She was only too thankful that thero was now only a rat in the closet. "Open the .door slowly," commanded she vivaciously. 'Mr. Bobby obeyed her, and immediately the grand spectacle of "the futi" was inaugurated. - The disordered Titman broke from his place of imprisonment with such rude, panic-stricken ve- locity, that lie overthrew the astounded Mr. Bob- by, crushed the howling dog into the carpet, and by these events secured at least a half minute's start in the race which was subsequently to ensue. The yaung lady, overcome with surprise and terror at the unexlainable mystery, uttered a shriek and fainted upon the floor, as the spirit of her lover or whatever the apparition was, bolted past her with pallid features for t!e door. With Shortey's coat flying in the wind behind him, Mr. Titman was already tearing down the street ere Mr. Bobby recovered from the shock of his pros- tration. The latter rushed frantically in pursuit, but Mr. Titman had escaped. Closely imitating the-ingenious method of the hunted bare, the fly- ing refugee ran down one street, up another, and through lanes, parallel and crosswise. He rode in omnibuses and cars, darted into grocery stores and apothecary shops, and finally, having expend- ed the little cash which Shortey had left on his person in small purchases in various parts of the city, and exhausted his physical forces in his con- tinued excitement, reached his home somewhere toward midnight. There, securely locked in his chamber, he congratulated himself on his es- cape, though the events seemed sternly to signify that the time had now come for him to meet the brother, boldly explain his position, and resolute- ly demand fair proceedings upon the latter's part. CHAPTER LXIII. MOSES .coMFIDES ma DENEVOLENT RoJECT TO MR. WAOnULL, AND PROCEEDS TO FURTHER IT IN A SECOND INTERVIEW WITH THE GREAT COLLECTOR. TiE envy of Moses's late opportunity with the collector and the regret at his iidifference to po- litical matters still rankled in Mr. Vagbull's bosom. "I grant you, my daughter," said he, with an air of great acuteness, in a conversation with his daughter at breakfast, the next day after the par- ty, "nb fault can be found by any one with the excellence and vigor of Mr. Winkfield's intellec- lectual faculties, as faculties. No, on the con- trary, I must warmly defend them!" " Well, then, what do you mean, papa, by say- ing you had concluded he dil not know any thing ? Such a horrid remark I I am sure you did not know what you said !" said his daughter pettishly. " Ahi! there it is; I frankly admit he is pos. sessed of a brilliant intellect, truly brilliant, but my opinion is that in point of fact lie does not know how to use it!" "0 pshaw ; what does his brilliant intellect avail if he knows not how to use it ?" "The very point-the very point ! We are coming at it now. Yes, there is a certain want of' tact, of' politic management and diplomatic acuteness, which all such romantic anmd utopian people appear even delighted to evince."~ MR. WINKFIELD. page: 138-139[View Page 138-139] 138 MR. WINKFIELD. "And they are right. ITow any person who "Yes. The fact of it is-I -suppose I must values himself and his self-respect can stoop to tell you what my objects'are. Indeed, I hope the continual hypocrisy and habitual deception you will cooperate with me; though, as the col which you call political tact, is more than I can lector seems desirous that he should not be pub- see, even for the mostdesired of consummations." licly known in the matter, you must keep it a " My dear, you are just as romantic as he. In profound secret." And hereupon, with many fact, it is the notion of school-girls, and all such characteristic evasions- of any personal arroga- who have not felt themselves called upon to dis- tion, Moses proceeded to recount the manner in charge the important duties of a citizen, and which he had become acquainted with his friend, sharer in the glorious privileges of the free in- the literary man, the subsequent knowledge stitutions and liberal policy of one of the most which he had obtained of the social condition remarkable instances in history of the enlighten- of that worthy man, and his interesting family, ment, which is the natural offspring of the free and his own propositions with regard thereto. institutions and liberal policy of one of the most "What romantic adventures you have, Moses! remarkable instances which-is, or rather may be But why didn't you let me know this before ?" observed to be, one of the-" "I thought it best to respect Mr. Lampson's "Dear me, what do you mean by all this going feelings. Both he and his wife are so sensitive." on, papa, about privileges and policies?" inter- "And so you have really obtained an inter- rupted the young lady. "What has Mr. Wink- view with the collector in this matter? Ahl" field or you to do with sharing in glorious privi- continued the old- gentleman, musing and sigh- leges more than others; and if he has, what is ing regretfully, "think of it, if you were only a the utility of his indulging in mysteries and in- little more accustomed to affairs of a political na- trigues to do so?" ture, my dear Moses, how much you might do for I ee, it is impossible for you to imagine, x- Conkey inthe interview which you are to have. cept to utterly misconceive, the ideas of those," But it can't be. I regret to say it, but your want continued the old gentleman inflatedly, "who of political tact might jeopardize the whole mat- are aware and well know, and fully appreciate ter." and apprehend, that they may be at times, mis- "What matter is it ?" asked Moses. "Who understood, but who will, nevertheless, discharge is Conkey ?" the important duties they owe, from their social "Just as I supposed ; not even know who station, to government, good order, and the hu- Conkey is I Why, Moses, the interview you haye man race, in upholding the noble civilization and obtained-but go to it. Say to the collector that just Policy which form a remarkable instance in a friend is also deeply interested with you, who the history of the, as it were-of the-but I see will meet him with pleasure, if he wishes it, and it is useless for me to proceed. Of course, it is then mention, my name. Now I think of it, not the place to discuss these matters--with a 'Moses, I take great interest in the literary man's mere girl. I am afraid, my daughter, Moses will misfortunes." not do."a, " Oh ! yes. And if we fail with the collector, "But I don't wish to be the wife of a politician why we can set hinm up together in a farm, book. or a statesman. I would not if I could be. I store, or something of that kind, can't we ?" re- wish, pap, to be the wife of a good, honest, and plied Moses in enthusiasm. upright gentleman, and-and-" " Eh? I don't know much about that. Per- Here the young lady, carried away by the ve- haps so," said Mr. Wagbull in abstraction. "We hemence of her feelings, incidentally made a must consider, we must consider." severe threat, which deeply affected her parent, "If you do not feel like joining me, I will do and perhaps instituted in his bosom the pointed so myself," continued Moses., remorse for his position to which the fear of ap- "Ah! quite right, quite right, Moses," replied proaching disaster often gives rise. She inti- Mr. Wagbull, arousing from his reflection. mated that she would not buy another. bonnet, or After learning from him the number of the any other article of her wardrobe, and would collector's residence, Moses repaired at once, in persistently wear her old things, until he retract- benevolent energy, to a German grocery, pro- ed his position. cured of its proprietor a milk-can, and, disguising edWell, well, I have nothing to find fault with his manner as faithfully as he knew how, proceeded either in Moses's person or morals," continued toward the collector's mansion. The collector in he; " oh! no. He has a fine figure; his legs are person answered his application at the basement remarkably well formed-remarkaply; and he is door, and with great haste and caution led him straight and upright in his conduct, too, as man into his study. could be. Every one says so who knows him. "Alh! I applaud your prudence," said the poll- But I am afraid, my daughter-I am afraid-tact tician, after they were seated, "and the dispatch is so necessary in this world, even in buying a with which you presented yourself to me last pound of sugar or renting a house-that-and, night. I received a note from our friend yes- gracious, here he is now!" terday containing a brief statement of the mea- "I thought I would call in to see you, but I sures proposed." can stop but a moment," said Moses,," for I have "Ah i" said Moses, bowing courteously at this a little engagement this morning. By the way, unexpected information, and the more unexpect- do you know where the collector resides, Mr. ed affability of the collector, "you will pardon Waghull ?" the bastiness with which I seized a social moment " What ! You don't mean to say you have an to-" - enaement with him ?" asked Mr. Waghull in "Certainly, certainly; you were quite correct. astnisghent;- " at this time, too-one of the But when did you leave our friend, and how ia os important weeks ever known in public cir- he ?" asked the collector. , cles." " Oh I I left him the day before yesterday,'" I MR. WINKFIELD. I 130 replied Moses in great pleasure; "he was ver3 well-very well indeed, and in high spirits, sir though relying wholly upon your kindness." Ah ! yes," interrupted the collector, " a fin man, sir-a noble, appreciative mind." "Yes," continued Moses, "and one, sir, which I think ought not to be subjected to the nuimer ous cares which weigh so heavily upon it." 1 Ah! indeed. Is he mudh embarrassed Does be feel his responsibilities much ?", " He does. But still, in spite of them, I think he is really happy. He has a continual solace in the love and society of a lady who appears just fitted, sir, to warn, comfort, and conunand him, and, indeed, one whom almost any one might adore." " God bless me ! You don't say so ? Deuce, I never knew that. He never let it out here. Ha, ha! Oh !" Ah ! have you known him long, sir?" "Long? For over ten years. Ha, ha! It is the way with these strong intellects-they are always balanced with a strong emotional organ- ization.r-" "Hardly any one would ever know it," said Moses, they live so retired with their little family of two children." "Good God! But I see you possess his entire confidence-his entire confidence. You don't- don't mean to say lie is married ?" cried the col- lector, raising his voice still higher in astonish- ment. "MarriedI Why, of course." " He whom we have always bantered with re- maiung a bachelor! Ha, ha! This is the best thing I.have heard for a century. Ha, ha 1" This is the result of the scholar's endeavor- ing to conceal his poverty and social relations," thought Moses; "yet it was for an honest pur- pose,,and I am really sorry I have alluded to it now.". "But to business," continued the collector. You have nothing further in the way of his written desires or propositions, have you?" soNo, sir. He merely thought that, by my per- sonal interviews With you, I could better explain matters to you." "The best way; and you have my entire con- fidence as well as his. 'Te charged you with se- crecy, of course, and it is between us three sole- ly, and in accordance with all our wishes, to strictly maintain it, eh? I see, like him, you are cautious in mentioning names. A very good practice, Mr. Winkfield. I take the liberty of Mentioning yours, as it is assumed, I suppose? Ha, ha!I No, sir; my own name, sir. I never do such things," said Moses, in suppressed indignation; ,I never do such things. (Such is the love of intrigue among these public men ! Even in such small matters as granting an application for office, they insist upon the low machinery of milk-cans and aliases! I'll mention Mr. Wagbull to him. It ought to restore him to decency-to a sense of proper confidence-in the matter.) There is a gentleman in the city, Mr. Collector, by the name of Wagbull, who-" k Good God! At the party last night? You know him.?" .".Yes, sir," replied the surprised Moses, no- ticing the apparently intense feeling of the other party-. Y "I simply warn you against him. Have no. thing to say to him. By mere blundering upon your plans and talking about them, he may do more damage to me in one moment than can be repaired ii a year, He is a perfect nuisance and dreadful button-holder; but look out for him; I insist upon it. I wisely keep vlear of him at all times, and you must." "-Ah! I didn't know," continued Moses, slowly recovering from his disagreeable astonishment at - the feeling betrayed by the collector toward his worthy friend and proposed parent. t "I will not do any thing to-day," continued the collector; " but you can proceed in making your arrangements." "Aht! then, I suppose," said Moses, aroused at these words, "I may really regard my endeavors already successful, sir ? Can I feel now that a situation is promised ?" "Ha, ha! You are like the rest of them, young man. You must have your demands set- tled at once. Yes, a pace will be at your dis- posal after the elections. I must go to my office now. You will circulate, of course." "Circulate? Oh ! yes," replied Moses. " Well, be easy in your behavior with those you fall in with, and don't undertake to be too tight with them." " You may rest assured of that. It is not my habit, sir," replied Moses, somewhat confused and a little indignant at this ethical injunction of the collector. " I see, you kindly came withthe can. You had better leave in the same way," continued the collector; "be extremely cautious. By the way, leave me your address, and I will inform you when and where it is best for me to see you." Moses was somewhat surprised at this continu- ed manifestation of the desire for secrecy, but, with a feeling of gratitude, inexpressible in words, beaming from his countenance, he com- plied with the request of the warm-hearted but eccentric collector, and, gladly resuming the milk-can, rushed from the basement-door into the street with such a flourishing, abandon air as to lead many of the passers-by to conclude that this was only another one of the common in- stances of a near-sighted Dutch grocer's clerk kissing the chambermaid at the basement-door. CHAPTER LXIV. THE coNvERsION OF THE HEATHEN-THE nETROTH, MENT OF MR. JINKS LOMMEYDEw AND MRS. DIF- FICULTS BECOMES A FIXED FAcT. THE evening having arrived for the proposed meeting of colored Christians, with the worthy view of rescuing their benighted brother, the aged relative of one of their most respected members, Mr. Lommeydew, from his terrible er- ror, Brunswick apprised his master of the hour; and as it approached, the two wended their way to the colored chapel. The domestic had- been highly satisfied with the sudden shock which had been given to the easy flow of amorous inter- course between his step-mother and the divinity- student, and on the way informed his master that since her discovery of the diabolical proceed- page: 140-141[View Page 140-141] 140 MR. WIUNh ings of the ancient grandsire, her air toward Mr. Lommeydew had apparently become quite a stern. She issued commands to him with great it freedom, and the appearance of an unusual anx- h iety upon the part of the lover plainly signified ti that a rupture might be possible. -b They soon arrived at the church, which was a already crowded with excited members of both a sexes. Moses, extremely cautious that his pres- N ence should not be offensive, quietly gained a c seat in the obscurity of an unlighted gallery over. s the entrance, and awaited, with due respect for a the consecrated house and the humble sincerity n of its occupants, the opening of the proceedings. s The old colored gentleman who usually-presided I in the pulpit was a person who, although ex- t tremely illiterate, had, by sheer force of charac- t ter, sincere piety, and unflagging'zeal for the o secular as well as the religious interests ofV his flock, retained his position as pastor for a more than a dozen years, really beloved by'allo the ardent members, and both beloved and feared by the lukewarm. The recusant member, in company with two deacons of the church and his% grandson, occupied a front seat, and, after much r free conversation and stir in the assemblage, the I meeting was called to order by the' entrance ofr -the pastor. He mounted the desk, and, afterC arranging the sacred books thereon and hastily rubbing the dust therefrom with his sleeve, pro- ceeded, with some excitement, to make to theta congregation, ere he opened the exercises, aI statement upon an unexpected subject, which for 1 the Inqment created a profound sensation and caused internal comparisons to be made by someI of the more learned in church history between the reverend pastor and some of the early mar-( tyrs.I " My bredren, you all knows Bedford, de uful-I sterior. Dis bery ebenin', jest afore I cum inI yere, I met him, jest de oder side of de corner] grocery, and-my feelin's won't allow me to dwell on dis ting. I must come to it at once. leI asked nie did I have de money for the pulpit- cloth ? You all knows, bredren, I forestalled do committee, and I bought dis yere cloth out o* my own pocket, 'spectin' de committee would 'me-, jately act. Well, dey did act; but de money dey's raised had to go for suthin' else, my bred- ren. 'Well,' says r, 'dat air little sum'for de-' Says he, sternly, ''Yes, for de pulpit-cloth.' Den I said, kinder actin', so I might kinder sorter dart into de grocery, said I, 'Ah! yes, de sum for materials and ufnlsterior work on de-' Said he, interruptin' me, and catchin' holt on to me, ' Look yere, I have waited long 'nuff for dat, and I's asked you too many times. Now, ef yoti don't raise'dat air in free days, I'm jest gwine to take it out of your hide.' Dis was all all he said. My bredren, dis is a good ole church, I was sextarit of her, after I left de Newton, for over four years, while I was studyin' for de ministry, and I have since run her, off and on, as elder and preacher, for twelve year'n more. But',do you tink I's gwine to get tanned on account of yous all, when you can make it up among you? Dere will be anoder collection at do close of do ser- vices, but dat's for anoder ting. Jest you go to work and raise de seventeen dollars and sixty- four cents interest. I call on de sisters to pult dere hands in'do pockets of de males, and cause 'em to exerumiate dere goods libully," '1 - I hope our reverend clergyman, Mr. Stokes, nd the brethren present will pardon the slight regularity of proceedings on the part of myself," ere said a mulatto gentleman who had heard he appeal of the pastor with deep interest,,"but before the proceedings proceed I would wish to make a few remarks upon the party in question, s has made this abrupt demand on the reverend Nr. Stokes for the sum now due for the pulpit- overing, being, if I am correctly informed, some ev teen dollars and sixty-four cents, principal n interest. I wish merely to state the state- ment that I know the party in question. I have haved hinm for the past two years, and I frank- y confess that I never have liked him, but on he contrary, believe him to be a raskel, and so o say, bummer of long standing. His beard is of the meanest, stiffest kind I ever had to deal with, and he has four warts that I lave to go round, occupying twice as much tilin as any other customer" "Very good, broder Goliab. Dat's to de point! You all heard brodgr Goliah? Very well. De collection for de pulpit-cloth will now be took up at once afore we commence. Brother Claret, you just lock de doors, and I hope none of de members present will be gettin' out of de windows disgracefully, as dey did Sunday afore last ",, Through the precautions enjoined by the wor- thy pastor upon brother Claret, the sexton, an individual with a remarkable nose, spread upon his face like butter upon bread, the collection was a success, and the clergyman's mind was re- lieved of weight and made free for the coinig duties of the evening. Let us in consonance with our hero's feelings regard with decorum those proceedings which, however tinctured with the ludicrousness of inferior intelligence, should be all the more respected for the indispensability of its presence. Our business is principally to mark the progress of our chief character in his lauda- ble pursuit of a varied knowledge of the differ- ent classes of human beings, and collaterally to relate the progress of the relations existing be- tween the other characters of this work. We are thus enabled to pass over the ensuing scene of regenerating the aged backslider with slight allusion, though Moses observed in it all the likely confusion and, so to say, uproar, in over- coming the persistent obstinacy of the old gen- tleman. He there saw that even the generous prosecution of the compassionate works of reli- gious zeal is as likely to be accompanied with expressions of anger, wrangling, and even phys- ical methods of enforcement as are the aims and objects of the most ordinary worldly desires. "Such is the incongruous working of human nature 1" thought he as he gazed in philosophic earnestness upon the scene. "Zeal for his mor al welfare is really leading them even to endanger his life, and their own amicable relations with each other !" An immersion in water had been considered indispensAble to the complete redemption of the unfortunate brother by all parties met there for the saike of his spiritual welfare, and it was this measure in particular that the brother himself objected to. By the efforts of the pastor and of Mr. Lommeydew, and by the fatigue of the ex- citement to which his aged being was being sub- jected, he had consented to disavow his late se. Kar MR. WI cret practices, when the mention of this measure caused him at once to return to his previous ob- stinacy of demeanor. Hence a terrible uproar ensued, during which the disorganized eithusi- asm of both brethren and sisters had become so intense that the reverend Mr. Stokes was forced to return to his pulpit for the purpose of re- storing order. During his catechism and ener. getic clerical entreaties by the side of the crimi- nal octogenarian, a worthy old brother, who had in vain endeavored to break into the ring, sought relief for his feelings by taking pos- session of the vacant desk and giving out a hymn which he thought would be adapted to re- store a union of the zealous forces.'~ As he had 'frequently to stop and spell the harder words thereof, the time thus lost only added to the con- fusion, and such of the members as were endeav- primg to assist him by lifting their voices in the song, were about giving it up as useless froni the imsuperable want of concert, when the pastor arrived at and ejected the brother from the pul- pit* with a peremptory deprecation of the irreg- ularity of the proceeding. The brother glared, with some natural indignation upon his pastor, at the forcible manner in which his expulsion was accomplished, but became softened in -his feelings as soon as he observed order was being restoted. The energette ctergyman, throngb the customary respect which was paid his character, quieldy enforced his homely commands for silence and order, and was proceeding to report with partial- gratification the progress of the work, when a renewed commotion was again vis- ible in the neighborhood of the penitent's pew. Moses immediately observed the deacons sur- rounded by a crowd, carrying the faintly strug- glin~g octogenarian in a horizontal position to the vestry at the rear of the church. In a moment of exhausted nature he had consented to the ob- jectionable -measure, and they had resolved to hurry hin at once into the vestry and immnorse him there ere his expected exelaniations of ter- giversation should become too heavy to be pass- ed unnoticed. Brunswick here slipped quietly back to Moses's side from the body of the church, where lie had been endeavoriing to rationally as- sist in the ceremonies. His step-mother, unex- pecteily to him, was not present. Perhaps from a delicate desire to avoid impeding the proceed- ings, through any feelings of irritation, which the person whose crime she had detected might have at her presence. The - pastor, who had hastily been called from the pulpit, now emerged from the vestry-room and announced that the evening's' efforts of the fiock had been crowned with the desired success. Thereupon great rejoicing en- sued through the assemblage, and the usual rev- erent pieces of music were sung with earnest en- thusiasrn. The sincerity, the honest piety and the fervent desire for a fellow-being's welfare manifested by all touched Moses's heart. He stood up also with Brunswick, and sang the grand Old Hundredth with a tear of humanity and reverence glistening in his eye. lie was not such as could hear that illustrious hymn sung with time magmiificenit voices mind the fervid, heart- felt devotion of this humble race, unaffected, or without a desire to teach them tile glories of a higher intelligence, and render them capable of a mere imntellectual adoration of the Maker. Tire pi-oceedings were now about being ration- NKFIELD. 141 ally brought t a close, from the natural desire of the audience to indulge in an inspection and congratulation of the object of the. evening's ef- forts, and familiar colloquy thereupon. But ere the doxology was sung the reverend pastor ap- peared to have still another matter of import- anee upon his mind, a matter which be proceed- ed to state would deeply interest all of his con- gregation, especially as it concerned the future happiness of two worthy members of the church and betoved social acquaintances, one of whom had on that evening been principally concerned, and ardently energetic in the efforts connected with the welfare of the aged brother. "And I now take opportunity," continued he, with a significant smile and pleasant circumspec- tion of all the faces turned toward him, "1 joy- fully take opportunity of congratulatin' the two upon dere proposed felic'tous union. I now an- nounce in 'cordance with my custom as pastor of de church de affiancement of Mr. Jinks Lommey- dew and Mistis Previous Difficults, to take place on de fith of do next mont proximo. De bred- ren will congrattlelate de happy bridegroom after de services !' Brunswick started convulsively from his seat. A semi-subdued utterance of angry denial was about escaping from his lips, and a contemplated precipitation of his person over the gallery-rail- ing was manifested, when Moses restrained hin. He had been, in the strong language of the ver- nacular, "sucked in!" And what was worse, he knew his master saw he had been. What was the authoritative manner which had lately been exhibited by his step-mother toward her lover, but the anticipation of conjugal habits? Why was so much anxiety displayed by the lover in effecting an immediate conversion of his aged relative ? The consent to a public announcement of the engagement was conditional upon it. Ay, even the delicacy of the infatuated lady in wi- framinng from the meeting was now easily ac- counted for by this aspect of her relations. In vain did the excited domestic seek permis- siot from his master to rejoin the crowd below, under the pretense of p i-rtaking in the usual harewell embracing and kissing. The fear of a collision between him and the divinity-student was too great to permit of it, and Moses ordered him to accompany him to the hotel, CHAPTER LXV. ARCADES AMBO. A PAY or two subsequent to his abrupt colli- sion with Mr. Bobby, at the Marrycomeup House, Mr. Titman began to feel so uncomfortable from the circumscription of his actions, which his prudence dictated to him, in reflecting upon the consequences of that event, that le longed ar- dently to confide his situation to some frend who might aid him with his advice, and fortify him with his sympathy. Mr. Winkfield, who would, 1n0 doubt, should it be disclosed to him, undertake some such severe measure as that of promptly reporting his chronic fickleness to Miss Bobby, was ineligible. lie ther-efore sought Mr. Bar- nard. The latter at once demanded an explana. lion of Mr. Titman's late absences and pru-cc- page: 142-143[View Page 142-143] pations, in particular on the occasion of his din- ner and as a proof of the intensity of his disap- pointment thereat, proceeded to knock the Dib- bletowner's head against the wall and threaten him with expulsion from the room through the window. Having thus relieved his feelings, he turned to listen to the little gentleman. "I have been lately making such an ass of myself, Barnard," commenced the latter, assum- ing a jocose air. " Of course ; but how ?" asked Mr. Barnard. " Ha ! ha! I have been allowing a fellow to oppose me in a delicate matter which I am pro. secuting," continued Mr. Titman, "all from a foolish notion of prudence and propriety, which I now see was entirely erroneous, entirely erro- neous !" And thereupon he disclosed his rela- tions with MissBobby, from the inception to the latest event, with alternations of solemnity, af- fectation of drollery, pathos, ferocity, and senti- mentality, which produced in his listener the one effect of continued risibility. "I know that hose comp any 20 pretty well, and I think I've seen that fellow with 'em very often," replied the latter _presently. "Bobby! Let me see-he is a lanky, sandy, round-should ered boy, with a turn-up nose, and a mustache containing six hairs, isn't he?" "I think that is he. Yes," continued Mr. Tit- man, though he was not quite sure of the exact number of hairs. " Very well. Thrash him !" replied Mr. Bar- nard sententiously. "Ha ! ha ! that's pretty good, the way that thief got ahead of you!" "But he is keeping out of the way! I haven't been able to meet him at all!" said Mr. Titman, who for the last two days had partaken of the air of heaven only at night, and that too in the most secluded portions of the city. " If you can't catch him at home, go around to the carriage-house. If I wasn't engaged now, I would go there at once and thrash him for you." "Thank you, thank you !" replied Mr. Titman, infected with valor by this kind sympathy. " I rather think I shall reserve that pleasure for my- self, ha! ha !" Mr. Barnard gave him further fraternal advice, which produced in him such a wild daring that he immediately ran off and inspected the Marrycome- up House from an adjacent block. The next day he was congratulating himself that fate was re- lieving him of the painful duty of chastising Bob- by, by depriving him of the opportunity, was contemplating the possibility of renewing his visits to the Marrycomeup House, and was in the cheerful act of benevolently directing a street- beggar, who had accosted him for charity in Uni- versity-place, to the nearest eleemosynary soup- house, when he descried at some distance, behind two tree-boxes in the street, that interesting per- son whom Mr. Barnard had described as having become round-shouldered from the weight of his mustache, accompanied by a friend, and they both appeared to be enjoying the pleasure of dog- ging his footsteps. He darted agitatedly around the corner, with preternatural velocity, gained and turned the next one, bolted into an open passage-way of a house half-way down the block, and mounted ~to the second story. It was the dining-room of a French restaurant, and the only person therein was a solitary gargor MR. WINKFIELD. "Pea-a-soup, sare. Purse, Monsieur ?" asked the active waiter, emulating Mr. Titman's brisk- ness. "Yes ! yes !" answered Mr. Titman breath- lessly, as he sank in the chair of a table, and hurriedly peered out of the window at its side. That is-no, I don't want any." 'D *poison? Feessh'?" "No! no!" Ah ! une eotelelle, ou de bile mets ?" Mr. Titman partly recovered his equanimity. He could see neither of the enemies in the street. He resolved to prolong the advantages of his re- treat by ordering dinner, though it was two hours before the proper period. The waiter lingered, dusted a chair with his napkin and wiped the plate, laid before Mr. Titman, in expectancy. " Look here ! What did you do that for? Don't do that again !" said the latter distractedly. " Oh ! it is an old chair only, and will not :re- ceive of the damage !" explained the domestic affably. "Le roti done! Roast-a-bif ou mut- ting ?"' . " Wee. That is, the buif-roty, and les pota- Ves, you.know, and a cup of strong tea." "acre / Du the' avee le roti? Diable I" "Wee !" "1Bien, bien!/ Monsieur." While the waiter was absent in fulfilling his order, Mr. Titman concluded to again look out of the window into the street. There was an un- dertaker's shop directly opposite. He darted back in terror. In that shop he saw Mr. Bobby conversing with a shopman, while his friend, in a fire-coat, was looking up and down the street. 'he first thought that struck him was that the former gentleman was considerately making ar- rangements for his coffin before he slaughtered him, and the second was, that they were undoubt. edly inquiring of the sexton for information. The dreadful likelihood of the latter having seen him enter the restaurant filled him, with renewed perturbation. As the waiter deposited the roast beef upon the cloth, Mr. Titman appealed to him at once: " You must not go away. Don't leave. I shall need you all the time !" said be vehemently. " Ah ! you take de regulaire course, den ? You eat 'em all?" "Wee, wee !" replied Mr. Titman hurriedly. "Pure'e ou soupe Julien, monsieur ?" asked the satisfied waiter, commencing de novo. " No, no, neither! That is, you stay here and-"., " Ah! Monsieur is eccentric, and eat 'em en' reves. You take cafe to commence, and soupe dernierement. Cafe noir ou au lait ?" " No, no. This will do. But I want you to stay by me, waiter. There is some difficulty. Dear sir, you are a most excellent waiter, and I am in danger I" replied Mr. Titman in incoherent fervor. "Comment en danger ? There is some danger to eat? .Du tout. It is good, monsieur." 7 " Oh no, vous comprenny, I wish you to stapd by me. Can you fight ?" "Hein? Pardon, monsieur," exclaimed the gargon, prudently recoiling a step or two at this question-. " Good God! I Itell you lam in danger l" roared Mr. Titman. " I expect to be killed ! There is some one waiting to attack me outside !" 142 ,0 " Then monsieur might pay his beel now, s'il Fortune favors the brave. The tower-bells vous plait !" suggested the waiter, commencing rang for a fire, and the foreman darted away. to show sympathetic alarm at this point. "I demand satisfaction," resumed Mr. Bobby, " That is all right, and there is a half-dollar for who at this unexpected interpolation of chance yourself, waiter," replied Mr. Titman. " I want appeared to turn very pale too. your friendship, my good friend, to assist me, 0 "Allow me to explain," said Mr. Titman, a little dear! by going for a policeman, or-or letting me reassured by the same event. "It w %as a most hide myself in the kitchen, in ease I should want singular state of affairs in which-" to !' "I don't care any thing 'about that. I know " Oui, oui !" said the gratified waiter compla- all about it," interrupted Mr. Bobby hurriedly. cently. "Give me the note of resignation and I'll let you Mr. Titman made a very deliberate dinner. He off !" never did believe in hastily dispatching his meals, "Note of resignation ? What, of my friendship and if he paused every five seconds of the hour with your sister ?" to gaze into the street, or consult with the waiter, "Yes !" replied Mr. Bobby, feigning to take a he only thus occupied the time which is usually ferocious step toward Mr. Titman, "and if you devoted to scolding that functionary, and one don't, I'll- d-nation" I was just as good an assistant to digestion as the - "1I shall defend my life and person to the best other. Finally, he was inexpressibly gratified by of my ability, sir, at the slightest attempt on your a bulletin of the waiter, who returned from the part to assail them with violence," said Mr. Tit- front-door and reported that the interested par- man, and in trembling agitation he convulsively ties in the street were nowhere to be seen. He felt in his vest-pocket for his penknife. paid his bill, was led by the benevolent attendant "You are armed, sir. You are armed !" ex- through the kitchen of the establishment, and claimed Mr. Bobby excitedly and dodging back. was discharged into the street by a narrow pas- "I am not !" replied Mr. Titan impulsively. sage, hitherto mainly frequented by the collectors "Do you put me off? Do you put me off, of saponaceous materials. The door closed upon sir?" asked Mr. Bobby, resuming his threatening him, and he stood aghast in the presence of the air. wily Mr. Jinkeyman, foreman of No. 20 hose. "I am compelled to decline, sir. The circum- carriage, and intimate friend of Mr. Bobby. At stances force me !" replied Mr. Titman. a whistle, the latter joined his fellow-picket, from "Very well. You won't give me the note, his lookout at the front of the establishment. The eh ?" continued Mr. Bobby rapidly. pleasures of the chase which had before animated "1 In the street ? No, sir. It is an improper the countenances of both now gave way to a place, and beside that, I-I haven't any thing pretty successful expression of ferocity upon the- to write it with !" replied Mr. Titman weakly. visage of the principal, and that of diabolio mer- "Oh 1 you haven't any thing to write it with ! riment upon the ugly physiognomy of the con- Very well, I'll see whether-Good God !-" federate. Mr. Titman made an attempt to run, The sentence was not finished. Mr. Titman but he could not; his strength was gone, had desperately resolved to escape by flight at "I'm going to knock your head off. Just this point, and to cover his purpose was feigning come down to this alley below here, where no earnestness in seeking for the desired pencil in one can see us, and I will knock your head ofF," his pockets. He looked up. To his astonish- said Mr. Bobby deliberately. ment, he observed his antagonist, engaged in the Mr. Titman never. heard of any one expressly very act which he had contemplated, half-way taking himself to a specified locality to have his down the block, flying rapidly from the scene. head knocked off, and declined as audibly as he "By heaven! He-he must have gone to the could to set the example. fire!" said Titman. - " Very well, then. I'll do it here," replied his He lingered in confusion to see the other dis. antagonist briefly. appear, and then turned and ran with equal speed " Allow me to explain," said Mr. Titman, look- to Mr. Barnard's residence, where lie at once ing around feebly for a policeman breathlessly narrated to that gentleman the re- "Wait, Bake. You've got him. Invite him cent encounter. to come round to the carriage-house. He can do A sudden idea struck the latter. the writing' there," suggested the foreman. "And "He bothered and insulted you in the streets. let him have a friend. Every thin' fair, you Very well. You can sit down and write him a know." note. Not of retraction or resignation ,or any "No, I won't. 17l do it here, in public, even such stuff--but a challenge, d-n him !" if he hasn't got sense enough to see it is a private "What, with pistols and swords ?" asked Mr. affair and go into the alley !" said Mr. Bobby, in Titman, overwhelmed with excitement. an apparent concentration of fury. "Certainly. He will choose which. Pistols, " What mean these extraordinary measures of course. Nobody in this country knows any in the public streets," said Mr. Titman, with a thing about fencing." tremendous effort at sternness, "against my-my "But, dear me, I don't know any thing about person ?" pistols !" suggested Mr. Titman. "Will you go into the alley ? Or say the "Pshaw! I'll have you placed near enough to word, and I'll blow the top of your head off here," him, so you- can't miss.. Go on and write it!" continued the terrible Bobby. said Mr. Barnard authoritatively. "I see it is perfectly useless to waste further "But, my dear sir, Moffatina has an affection time in reasoning with you, and, as I have an en- for him, after all, and these proceedings may gagement, I will leave you," said the agitated cause her to look upon me with--" Mr. Titman,-feigninga calmness, though pale as a " I can't help that. Go on and write the sheet. note !" MR. WINKFIELD. 143 page: 144-145[View Page 144-145] 144 MR. WINKFIELD. CHAPTER LXVI. have at this moment induced you to be so sincere T with me?" MR. WAGBULL COMMENCES TO BE SUSPICIOUS, AND wI will, my dear Moses," continued the insane THE GREAT COLLECTOR GROWS MORE CONFIDEN- would-be statesman determinedly; " I frankly TIAL. confess that it is solely in consequence of a wish IN consequence of the singular requests of the which I have had since I have formed projects collector, Moses resolved to forego the pleasure with regard to Bessie's future, that I might have of Mr. Wagbull's society entirely until the ap- a son-in-law who, by his natural predilections, was pointnent of his friend was fairly made; but in fitted for the brilliant career of a public mian- crossing Madison square the day subsequent to one with whom I could feel I might consult upon his interview with the collector, he met him, anx- the various labors which, from my social posi. ious to know the result of the conference. Moses, tion, I owe to the advancement of the liberal not only remembering the injunctions of the col- views and sound civilization of one of the most lector, but also that they were accompanied by enlightened policies which history can point to in views'of Mr. Wagbull's intellectual calibre which lofty exemplification of the progress and advance could hardly be called flattering, was thus forced, of liberty and civilization, aimed at by one of the in relating the result of his interview, to be ex- most enlightened policies which-when-that is tremely cautious both to obey those, injunctions -as I might say-" and to avoid rufflingthe sensibilities of the wor- "But my dear Mr. Wagbull," said Moses, feel. thy citizen. The old gentleman detected his ing it to be quite safe to interrupt the other at guardedness and reserve, and indefinite and sur- this point, "although I really feel, indeed, that I prising suspicions began to float across his mind. am destitute of that peculiar power-of that tact He suddenly recollected that at the hotel at and diplomacy which you have often referred whieh Moses resided there dwelt a minor candi- to-and, indeed, have not even that admiration date 'for the mayoralty, Mr. Luke Noblock that for it which is next to possessing it, I still hope Moses was on terms of intimacy with him; and to convince you that your daughter's future that, as far as lie had disclosed his possession of might not, perhaps, be so happy when based any political principles or views, they were more upon such a career.!' in accordance with this person's than his own. "No, no, Moses," said Mr. Waghull in great What is the matter with hin ?" thought Mo- obstination, as they walked along together to ses, as lie observed the skeptical looks and re- ward his house, "I have determined not to flections of Mr. Wagbull. "He really looks as if listen to the syren voice of feeling in this matter, lie did not bt-li'eve a word I have been saying." Hlowever much I msy- otherwise -wish it, I still "Look I cre, Moses," said the old gentleman, consider that I must- Hallo! there is Thonas iwith an unhappy air, "when I infor you that 1, coming home. This is the tenth time I have ap- as wvell as many other of Mr. Conkey's fiids, plUer? for an inte rview at the Custom House with- have solicited in vain an audience of any kind out Success in the last week. But, Moses, the fr.mn the collector during the past week, you will collector's porter is a friend of Thomas's, and not be surprised to know that your interview I am in hopes," continued the infatuated par- with him seems extremely singular-extremely tisan. so-taking into coi.sideration the unimportant "No one is to be let in to-day, sir," said the subject upon which you profess to have been en- trusty scout, stepping up and unfoldingtis daily gaged with him." bulletin, " 'cept a Mr. Winkifield. But he is " Proi1,esclaimed Moses. "I asure you our Mr. Winhiield, sir, I found out; and what I have really informed you of the true causes of is more, I've got a letter from th collector for my visit to hun. Indeed, it is that, anl no you, sir," continued tre domestic, p roing to other." Moses; "1Dennis- let me bring it,. provided I giv thAnd you say he was not disposed to listen to it into your hands sure myself, snrg." any one else but you upon it -,' "At "Psaide]iN. Iaslnml starting, and looking "LYes. He assured me that it was not at all at os in a percing manner. necessary, you know." Moses took the letter and rewarded Thomas. "And do you mean to say that in making that I suppc," sal our eirot ast he opened it, assurance hp referred solely-alcin !-solely to 11I suppose lie has concluded it best to make the the application in behalf of a destitute friend ?" appointment atn ice, adhas informed me of it. 11Why, certainly. There was no other. What Really this is an unexpected pleasure."1 otber could there ber? " Look you, Moses," said the worthy father of MoteI you are a very intelligent young man, our hero's hope abruptly and in decided irrita- and you have won my feelings as well as those tion, "this won't do. It is useless; and I simply of my friends, I confess. It is not without deep hope that you will not attempt to keep tip that interest that I have noticed your addresses to my subterfuge ainy longer.", daughter Bessie; but you must not from all this," ' But I asure you, my dear Mr. Wagbull !" con- continueid the old grentlemnan in deep emotion- tinned Moses earnestly. "you must not conceive false hopes. I must Moses, said the latter calmly. "It is not frankly declare to you that I do not think you your nature to dissimulate, nor have you had such can ever become my son-i-law." tn experience would teach you how to do it , thank you for yur frankness" aMo with success. It is not natural. I feel that the nouncement, while he aide in a frm voice, as i ntingice dothaninsightatr sct" ato fo endeavoring to infuse a thoroughly philosophical a pet i Nothopefo whtvr- Lapos"k, yoreisimon thercorsoie, ou will gsrn that you are less near the truth of its contents yordc me thieeo rkon tie reso s hih in your conjectures than I amn," continued Moses '7 warmly, and thereupon he proceeded to peruse regi, wended his way thereto through mud and the following contents of the letter: rain. It was a dark and drearyv night, the wind "eMy dear Winkfield, meet me this evening at blew in fitful gusts, and as he approached the lo- eight o'clock in Popham's coal-yard. The Post- cality, muffled in his overcoat, to avoid observation Officeshows signs of disaffection I It must be as well as to defend himself against the elements attended to at once. There are parties on the he felt himself more like an amateur Guy Fawkes watch. Be extremely cautious. Do not come or an incendiary bound for a mammoth coal-fire anywhere near my office. The coal-yard is a very than the free and conscientious spirit, which up dark one, and Popham, who is a faithful friend, to that moment he had believed himself to be. has promised to see that we are properly screened. While instituting a cautioussurvey of the locality, Beware of the dog I" from his lively remembrances of the adventure (" This is extremely singular. I really can not with the Westchester animals, the collector him- make out this extraordinary mystery. What does self tapped him upon the shoulder, and without a he mean by the Post-Office being disaffected!) word signified thathe should follow him into the I freely confess to you, Mr. Wagbull, that this note coal-yard, when the following conversation im- does not refer to the subject which I naturally mediately took place in the shed of an old white apprehended it did, and, what is more, I must say, horse, who pas just discernible in the gloom, I do not know what it does refer to! Were the feeding placidlysat the bottom. note not confidential, I might seek an explanation colThere are rat in the Post-Office I" said the of YOU." collector. "Ah ! very likely, very likely !" "No !" " But I assure you positively that my whole "Yes, and do ycu think you can catch 'er, Mr. relations with the author thereof, as far as I have Winkfield " understood them, have been simply with reference "No, sir," replied Moses emphatically, "I do to securing a position beneath him for my friend, not" Mr. Lampson and nothing more." Very well, very well. I suppose I must ' You may perhaps reasonably tell that to see to them myself. You have got enough to do. Bedsie or her grandmother, but it appears a little But we must be very cautious. If what we are foolish to endeavor to mystify me. Although I do doing is found out, we are gone !" not ask you to invent a better reason for your The idea which passed through Moses's head relations with the collector, you may at least at this was, that if any body should succeed in avow the motives which compel you to maintain discovering what they were doing, they would this secrecy. That at least, I think, I may ask of certainly know much more than he did himself; you. I honor your attachment to principles, and but he 'said nothing and awaited patiently, with if you feel it to be yourduty to sustain them in the hope of discovering some clue to the extraor- this secret manner and at the expense of friend- dinary position in which lie now found himself sBhip, I must of course submit." placed. That there was something else in the "But you are certainly permitting yourself to matter beside the mere application which he make a mountain of importance of this matter, had made for an office, he was now quite sure- in which I am confident you will discover shortly and that which he had first supposed to be the that there is nothing. I am sure that whatever somewhat arbitrary humor of this gentleman, h the mystery is in this affair, it must be connected now felt convinced was the result of son'coccult with the proposed appointment of my friend-" plans upon which the latter placed great import- &(Again IuThia is a little too much, Moses. A ance. But what these plans were, or how. he little too much." had been involved as a participator therein, Mosess ,"If I obey the wishes of the collector upon was entirely unable to resolve. And what is this point, it is only to secure that appointment more, he felt that he did not dare to ask the col- as-", leter. The latter had already, in response to "Devil take the appointment !" cried Mr. Wag- his application replied that it would be granted. bull, in a rage. "See here, Moses! I have agreat What would the result be, were the influential deal of friendship for you, and perhaps you have man to discover he had been imposed upon ? If for me-" ill-treatment from his minions was not to be "Can you doubt it ?" Moses replied. le felt feared, the promise in favor of Mr. Lampson a strong desire to reveal the contents of the letter would certainly be revoked. Our iero, therefore, to Mr. Waghbulh, for the purpose of questioning felt justified in simply watching, with intense in- him thereon, but the collector's instructions for- terest, and a great display of sympathy, the con- bade. versation and manner of the unconscious poli- " Very well, as a final proof of it, I now demand tician. that you shall explain to me the causes of this "Cooper, the head of the glue interest, prom. undue ' mystery which is taking place in this ises to stick to us !" said the latter r matter," continued Mr. Wagbull. "Ia! ha! Vtiy good! Ve-y good, indeed I" "I would, but I can not, for a reason which I said Moses, thinking he observed in the phrase feel must be satisfactory to you." evidences of a playful spirit upon the part of his "What is that?2" dim colocuter. That I don't know niyself!" exclaimed Moses "Ahem! did you understand me ?" said the great excitement, collector with some sternness. Complying with the eccentric request of the "Oh!I yes, you were observing-"' collector to mee hm in the usre place for a I say that the risis i pproahng, Cooper conference m tioned in the note, Moses sallied adheres to us, but the-O that wretch and mis- out toward the pointed hour, and with a stout creant, Snaffles, of the Fifth ward !" continued cudge ~~cjjad procured to be used in case the collector, with a sudden gasp, and he ap. .o-sierg ncy upon the Cerberus of that Stygian peared to be attacked with an extraordinary lit MR. WINKFIELD, 145 page: 146-147[View Page 146-147] of rage.Te commenced to indulge recklessly in parties. As to Snaffles, seek out the scoundrel. the wildest of pugilistic gestures, and performed There is no use trying to cajole him. You might as a hornpipe of anger, which really alarmed our well entice him into some apartment, quarrel hero from its singular grotesqueness, while he with him, knock the rascal, over, and quietly ear- gratedrhis teeth together so loudly, that even the ry him out of the city while he is insensible, in old horse stopped his mastication in alarm, imag- a hack. You must be cautious; he is very quick inning his cornto be in danger. and muscular. Hit hard enough to confine him "nn0 that scoundrel, caitiff, wretch, rascal, to his bed for a week 1" 0 swindling impostor and humbug! He thinks he (" Good God! here is a pleasing request ! To will crush me. There is no notion of mine which attempt to murder and kidnap a fellow-citizen-) he does not attempt to forestall." But, my dear sir," replied Moses, "whether I " Calm yourself, I pray you," said Moses at may or may not deprecate this means of segre- the close of this frugal and abstemious use of ex- gating the scoundrel and Fifth ward caitiff, you pressive epithets. "Calm yourself, sir." will plainly see that I am not the one for this pr Is there no way is which I can express the operation. I am not fitted for it. Cooper is the unmitigated hate and contempt which I have for one. He is not near-sighted, is he, and will not that despicable rogue and ineffable scoundrel? be likely to fail, eh ?" yII..." "Oh ! very well. It would be a pleasure to me, (" Gracious!) Wait a moment. Restrain if I could myself. But Cooper shall see to it, yourself, sir," said Moses, endeavoring to place a and you attend to the notes. Here they are. hand upon the other's shoulder, as he observed The view of the situation is the same in each. symptoms of a renewal of his physical frenzy. Be careful and see personally that the right men symOh! I wish I had him here. I-would grind get them," concluded he, handing the confused him into the earth !" continued the politician, un- Moses two sealed documents. " Now let us part. mindful of the humane efforts of Moses. "I I will go first. When you come out, spring the would take that lump of coal, and I would knock lock and emerge cautiously." his head into a thousand atoms against it. I "Where the deuce have I got myself to? And would lead him backward against that horse's what does this all mean 9" asked Moses of him- heels, and cause the animal to kick him through self, as he stumbled out of the coal-yard. "I the roof of this shed. I would put my fist right came here with the hope of being able to com- through his neck. I would take 'him by the pretend the mystery, and now I am more puz- heels, and beat him against that wall there. I zled than ever! Here's Cooper to assault the would pull his nose off, and throw it over the scoundrel in the Fifth ward, and I am to see that fence. I would, so help me heaven, and then the notes suggested by the secretary operate on run and jump upon it with pleasure V" both of the -parties!I Who is the secretary, and If there were any evidence better than this un- who are both parties? Who is one of the par- bent familiarity upon the part of the collecto, ties? I should be satisfied if I could discover -Mogeg did not want it to aggure him that ho was that. No address!" continued he, as he stared considered as something else beside a mere ap- at the documents under a gas-lamp. "It is cer- plicant for office, even an intimate by the illustri- tainly connected with politics, and if I could only ous politician, sharing with him his annoyances sound Mr. Wagbull-but no, I may overturn the and griefs, whole matter by doing so. I begin to feel a "The knave, villain, ruffian, rogue, shyster, singular curiosity to know what all, this is. I scoundrel, blackguard and urchin! The urchin! must go on. It is too late now. It will not do D-d urchin !" to discover myself as an impostor to the collector At this last substantive, evidently felicitously now, I rtst go ahead" used after the manner of the old English poets, Moses observed a change come over the ecstasy of his friend. It died away to a comparative CHAPTER LXVIL Calm, and drawing a deep sigh, the- patient him-I self observed that he already felt much better, MR. TITMAN AND MR. BoBBY JUMP AT A SATIsFAC- and he regained once more the presence which ToRY CONCLUSION OF THEIR DIFFERENcES. Snaffles had so rudely put to flight. "What is the matter with him, this Fifth ward TnE satisfaction meeting between the offended man? What has he been doing ?" here inquired Titman and his persecutor was agreed upon. The Moses in forgetful curiosity. preliminaries were arranged by Mr. Barnard and "mDoing? He hunts me malignantly night the foreman of No. 20. A pleasant and secluded and day, and thinks he can make himself collec- place, near a bed of oysters, on Long Island, in tor because he has been a member of Congress. the vicinity of Flushing, was selected as the spot. Heavens ! if he should find us out, I am gone ! It was agreed that Mr. Bobby and his party O the scoundrel, wret-" should proceed thereto by the Forty-second street "Never mind! never mind," said Moses hast- ferry, that Mr. Titman and his would meet him ily. "By the way, as you said, we are sure of there in a sail-boat, and that four friends on each the glue interest, and s side should be admitted to the entertainment. t tMr. Winkfield, tIe two things now to be "Every tling is complete," said Mr. Barnard done" said the collector sternly and hurriedly, to Titman, after informing him of these measures. as he subsided, "are, first, this fellow, this caitiff "I've borrowed Uncle nd's boat, and Tom New'. and wretch must betemporarily got out of the ton, a friend of mine, fho is studying medicine, waysoweca prpelygoon While he is has promised to act as Isurgeon, and-" aou there isano usoerHe'l be sure to find you Titinan groaned aloud. aout eeod the noe. ugseb thesr- "What is the matter ?" asked his lively sec.- tar-y must be at once operated upon by both te .ond. MR. WINKFIELD. 147 MR. WINKFIELD. I 146 "Do you think there will be any need of surgeon ?" asked Mr. Titman feebly. "May be not. If you put your ball straigh through your man, Newton won't have much t do. But it is best to have him for form's sake." "But, good God, my dear sir, my man's bal may go straight through me !",. ."It is a fact; if yours. don't go into him, hi will probably go into you !" replied Mr. Barnard comprehensively. "However, I'll try to hav the sunwith you, my boy, and it will be an im mense advantage !" I feel it my duty to inform Winkfield of this matter, Barnard," exclaimed Titman solemnly. hIt is certainly my duty as a friend to inform him that-that I have felt it necessary to protect my interests in this-this terrible way, and see if he-" " Phaw! Don't you do any thing of the sort. He is opposed to duels, except when he wishes to fight one himself, confound him; and, my dear sir, he would rush at once-to the police-office and put a stop to it. Just think of it !' ex- claimed Mr. Barnard in an alarmed manner. "I1have written a letter to my father. He lives alone on a farm four miles from Dibbletown. Is it right to deprive that aged man of the bright hope and comfort, to which he has been looking as the solace of his declining days, in the future career and rising prosperity of his only-" "Look here, Titman, is this the way to treat me for what I have done for you in this matter ?" asked Mr. Barnard, much irritated by Titman's show of feeling. Bothering me about your ris- ing career, when you know I am doing the very best thingI can for it.. Stop your nonene, and attend to your business, or I'll knock you into the next story.", Still, as Mr. Titman appeared much depressed about his filial relations, the energetic guardian of the little gentleman's honor concluded to en- couragethim by alluding to the prospective pleas- ures of the excursion. "We'll have a pleasant sail up the East River," said lie. "Tom Newton is full of jollity and an- ecdotes. lle'll tell you lots of 'em. We'll carry a lunch, and have some oysters before we go on the ground, and, my dear boy, cheer up, your old gentleman wouldn't object to your enjoying your- self, if he was here." Mr. Titman made a partially successful effort, and presently, with a renewed injunction from Barnard to cautiously refrain from disclosing the matter to Moses, betook himself from Mr. Bar- nard's chambers-in which the conversation oc- curred-to his own room, there to seek moment- ary tranquillity by shutting in his being from the world, and shuttirwg out his mind from his being. As the day approached, however, he might have discovered the affair to Moses by ius looks, had our hero not been absorbed himself in a private matter, and superficially attributed his friend's depression to bilicasness or some other tempo- raiy physical d rangement. A kind of numbness of intellect hattaken possession of the wretched SDibbktow ner. His actions by day had been the Miechaical obedience of Mr. Barnard's directions; but Nm the still watches of the night, when his e' itment was purified by the seclusion of his -own' chamber and the darkness, his spiritual cir- al effrtns s eetyaroused to drive away aleorsat sleep or personal composure. If he a convulsively started up once frqm his couch, he did so fifty times; and when he started up, he t usually concluded his efforts at nervous relief by o turning partial summersets thereon, or performing other complicated gymnastic feats which in an or- 1 diary state of mind would have been perhaps im- possible. The one idea of future danger became at s last a kind of physical lump in his system, moun- I tainous and iqpmovable ; not as though he had a c single bullet in an unextractable place therein, - but as if about three hundred tons of lead had been deposited there. The day arrived, and the sail up the river was, what Mr. Barnard anticipated, truly delightful. That is, when considered apart from the object for which it was instituted. The air was balmy, the water gently rippling, and the party extreme- ly sociable. The surgeon was drunk, but his in- ebriation was of that affable kind which is so often held to be a partial palliation for the condi- tion. He kindly displayed his instruments to Mr. Titman, explained the nature and variety of gunshot wounds, exemplified the method of treat- ing compound fractures, extracting bullets, am- putation, etc., by manipulations of the latter's person, talked scientifically about the os pericar- dii, splanchnic cavities, spinous processes of the seventh cervical, esophagospasmnus, costo-clavi- cular ligaments and other parts of the human anatomy,.until that gentleman madly gave up the ineffectual use of brandy and other powerful stimulants, and secretly resolved to abscond to the woods as soon as the vessel' touched the shore. When it arrived, however, he was totally unable to put his project into execution. More dead than alive, he was supported by Mr. Bar- nard and another gentleman to the field of battle, where his legs doubled up entirely and he reclined against a tree to occupy his time with closed eyes in wishing he was back in Dibbletowrn and awaiting the arrival of his antagonist. The ferry- boat performed its second trip, crc the other party arrived, but they finally were descried in the distance, slowly wending their way to the place of meeting. They, too, were evidently ex- periencing some difficulty in bringing their bellig- erent to the field, even more tham their opponents had undergopme; for, whereas Mr. Titman requiired only two to support him, such was Mr. Bobby's condition, that lie could be carried by no less than four. Of course, under such circumstances, there was extraordinary embarrassment in placing the 'men. A constant succession of awkward reversals, droppings, and premature and danger- ous discharges of their weapons by both, ensued, which aroused the impatience of the spectators, drew forth thoughtless remarks from many of them, and well-nigh exhausted the perseverance of the two seconds. In addition, Mr. Barnard had commenced to feel a very uncomfortable sympathy for his friend, a state of feeling which was very naturally being converted into increased antipathy to, and irritation at, the stalwart fore- man, who was Mr. Bobby's second. "My man offers to apologize," said the latter to Barnard, "if -your'n will fust state there was no cause for sendin' him a challenge !" "Well, lie won't do that !" said Mr. Barnard vehemently. " Of course aot. 'Taint according to rules, any how," replied the foreman. " What the devil do you know about rules ?" page: 148-149[View Page 148-149] MR. WKFIELMR. WINKFIELD asked Mr. Barnard in contemptuous irritation. " You can't lick me!" replied Mr. Bobby. "Suppose you keep your jaw to yourself." "I don't wish to," said Titman candidly. "I "I don't want no muss with you or any of don't wish to have any thing to do with you, in Five's fellers! If I don't go to breed no scabs that or any other way."I on my nose at fires, it's because I knows what I " Eh ? Very well, then, I am satisfied. I don't ought to do, and the same here, which is mgore'n feel well." you or any of Five's fellers know how to behave," "Whatdid you threaten me for ?" replied Mr. Jinkeyman briefly, pausing in his "What did you challenge me for ?"/ labors as second. "I don't wish to have a y words with you " You are a pretty boy, but you can't play base until you move off from th t apple-tree I" said ball with a feather in your nose," continued Mr. Mr. Titman firmly great presence of Barnard. mind taking an cipient step to impress his an- This remark taken literally would seem rather tagonit. uinmeaning and inapplicable, but its exasperating "Ver ell, then. What do you want ?" said force was ingeniously heightened by the very fact Mr. Bobby, moving nearer. of noting but a taunt being conveyed. "I want you to withdraw your threats i" "You had better change your boardin'-house. "I will, if you withdraw your challenge !" Cats is too satiatin' !" replied Mr. Jinkeyman in "I shall not do it," continued Mr. Titman, fol- the style of the North-American Indian. lowing up his manifest advantage. "You threat- " Jinkeyman, when you were born, twins'were ened me first, sir. If you now withdraw those brought into the world," continued Mr. Barnard; threats and assure me of future immunity from "tone was a good little boy, the other was a thick f unwarrantable molestation on your part of skulled jackass. The good little boy died I" sgy relations with one whom I esteem, to say "If it wasn't for this here duel, I'd lam your the least, more highly than you do, I willconsent head oft," said Mr. Jinkeyman briefly. "Let's to a pacific adjustment of differences with you. have it over any how. I can't gone ' to have my Otherwise, I feel it my duty to at once sternly trouble into it for nothin'!i" - . resume my efforts at satisfactionin the method "You are so devilish anxious for it, suppose pointed out by the code of honor." you try a turn with me. You don't dare to, for The remarkable firmness and dignity of Mr. you know you can't hit the side of a house with Titman's bearing continued in its effect upon the a six-inch nozzle, let alone killing an clcpnant other belligerent. The latter rather hastily re- with a pistol i" viewed the cause of the difference between them, "I will, by --, and Bobby may go to ---." and in further resignation summed up by mur- " Come on, then " cried Mr. Barnard exult. i during his willingness to refer the question of ingly. priorityy of retraction to an umpire.r ,e The seconds at once took the place of the as- "No! no !" exclaimed Mr. Titman hurriedly, tonished principals. For form's sake they wildly and he east a glance of fear at the confused mass shot at each other twice, and then throwing down of adjacent Philistines.t their weapons, ran at each other and plunged " Then let us toss up." into an immediate and most terrific contest with "But we can not. We haven't a piece to the appliances of nature instead of those of art. throw e" replied Mr. Titman, recalling the com- This was altogether unexpected, and, perhaps, pliance with the code, by which they had both contrary to the rules which govern such formal been divested of their loose change, durng the xneetinge for the personal reparation of wrongs ; preparatory arrangements. 't but it was justifiable, if not even legitimate, on "See who can jump the furthest!1" continued the ground that the antagonists in this ease were Mr. Bobby, with the remarkable promptness of more familiar with the weaponsthey now made suggestion, common to persons laboring under use of, than with any other kind, frenzy of desire. In lesa than five minutes, the fight swelled into " I agree " replied Titman magnanimously a general gladiation and tournament. The four And in this singular but simple manner, while friends on each side, unable to restrain their en- the collateral parties were sghting for nothing, thusiasm, at once tackled each other in pairs, was the principal difficulty of the day adjusted- while the inebriated surgeon was pleasingly look- Mr. Titman's legs were the shortest, but they ing over his instruments in confused co prehen- were temporarily equal im power to any three sion.and high expectation, and the two worthies, times their length, for his quarrel was just. He to assist in repairing whose wrongs the whole triumphed. The two shook hands, and then await- party had originally assembled on the ground, ed, at a secure distance, the opportunty to. an- fled together, from the main scene of conflict, nowunce to their repeetive friend the complete toward the confines and frontiers of the field, and honorable dissipation of their misunderstand- As they turned to observe the progress of events, ing. After a lengthy and apprehensible period Mr. Bobby made a feeble pass at Titman's head of time, the general combat became irregular, with his right hand, and then retreated a short grew weak, and finally ceased with the common distance and placed himself in a fortified attitude. consent, caused by muscular exhaustion, by the Mr. Titman dodged rapidly, fell back also, and apparent impossibility of either side gaing the doubling his fists, dared hiss opponent to advance, victory, and by the monotony of the-repeated clinch- Mr. Bobby then backed steadily toward an apple- ings, passes, defenses, and knock-downs. The tree in his rear, for the undoubted purpose of explanation of the principals ensued. Three conducting the fight at long range, and shelling cheers were given respectively for Five and Mr. Titman with a few of the soundest windfalls Twenty. Refreshment was generally taken. The beneath it. oyster-bed was robbed of a large number of its " That isn't fair" cried the latter in pune- inhabitants, and, finally, Mr. Barnard, exhilarated tilious vehemence. by the sight of the two black eyes which he had 148 succeeded in giving Mr. Jinkeyman, invited the whole party to return in the sail-boat. Some wrangling occurred upon the voyage back, be- tween the two seconds, respecting the imperfect skill which the foreman of Twenty displayed in managing the ropes, which had been magnani- mously proffered him by Mr. Barnaxfd; and, in endeavoring to furnish him, notwithstanding the crowded state of the boat, with a due knowledge thereof, by physically driving it into his head, the champion of Five knocked the other over- board and fell-over himself. There the original contest between them seemed likely to be renewed in all its vigor; but after splashing and fighting in the water for some time like a couple of en- raged seals, they were induced to return to the vessel, which proceeded onward, and at last safely reached its destination at the city dock.- We could wish to have been able to proceed and show to the reader interested in the career of the gallant Dibbletowner, that, with all the difficulties and obstructions to the prosecution of his suit for the hand of Miss Bobby, thus hap- pily removed, he pursued this delicate object of his wishes to a successful conclusion. But what will that reader say, when we plainly state that we can not;' and that it was the incurable fickle- ness of the gentleman himself which shortly brought it to an untoward close? We will quote the words of the victim himself of this singular weakness, to explain the unhappy matter. "It was in the Park, Moses," said he to our hero. "Dear me, I never experienced such a mysterious, inexplicable revulsion. We were driving along with another lady and gentleman from the Marrycomeup House, when, just as we reached the border of the lake, we met her cousin in a tilbury, a most blushing creature of seven- teen, who cast a fatal, roguish smile at me! It was useless, Moses. I endeavored to conceal my feelings for, weeks thereafter, but Moffaitina at last discovered them, and it was all over. Hea. vens t but perhaps the consolation of her sweet cousin's society may hereafter afford me some re- lief for the distraction I now suffer!" - It was true. Miss Bobby discovered his incon- .stancy, and frankly confessing that she herself had been for some time filled with misgivings that a person of his ferocious, warlike, and bellig- erent disposition might not be suitable to her temperament, requested him to relinquish the further prosecution of his suit, and shortly after- ward rendered any such measures useless, by marrying, in great satisfaction, a consumptive widower, with an ample establishment, which in- eluded two children, one of whom was as old as herself. CHAPTER LXVIII. MosES, CONSULTING WITH BESSIE, DECIDES UPON THE DESTINATION OF THE NOTES. THE day after Moses's last interview with the collector, Mr. Wawbull was seated in his parlor, absorbed in a profound meditation. "It is a most singular state of affairs," solilo- quized the old gentleman, " not only that he should be engaged in matters for which I have always supposed him entirely unfitted, but that he should be thus engaged in set opposition to me. I respect his attachment to principles, but the devil take his principles! It seems useless to- attempt to persuade him or even question him, and the most exasperating thing about the whole matter is the astute air of candor and frankness under which he so adroitly hides his designs. Hallo! here he is again," concluded the exercised politician, as the mysterious object of his vexed reflections entered his presence once more. "1I was engaged last night, so I have to pay my last evening's visit this morning," said the latter gayly. "(Heavens! Witir the collector, I'll bet my head.) Yes, Moses, and undqubtedly your even- ing was occupied in more important matters than those which would have led you here. There is no use disguising it, Moses." "My dear Mr. Wagbull, I presume, of course, that you refer to my relations with the collector," said Moses, calmly but earnestly ; "whatever your conjectures may have been thereon, I hope to convince you, when I assure you solemnly that my sole intention therein is but the one simple, ardent wish to provide my friend, Mr. Lampson, with-" " Again ! Very well, very well " "My interest in this matter may seem to be too intense, but I feel conscious that, were you acquainted with the noble character and unfortu- nate situation of a scholar, who-" " Look here, my dear Moses; enough of this. I respect your attachment to principle--deeply respect it; and I confess that I have been wrong in refusing to accord to you the possession of that peculiar intellectual ability which is so justly esteemed as one of the most brilliant gifts which can be bestowed upon man. My judgment of your character has been in error, and I hasten to repair it. Your attachment to my daughter, then, comes back in its fullest force, and I can see no obstacle to its natural fulfillment now. Yes, Mo- ses, confess to me frankly the true relations which exist between you and the collector, and I at once give my warm consent to your marriage with Bessie." "My dear, kind friend," said Moses in deep emotion, "I could, for this unexpected generosi- ty, throw myself at your feet, but-" "What! are you still hesitating?" " No. But such a happiness-so unexpected, after what you told me yesterday! I desire an instant to collect myself." Very right, very right, Moses." (" HeavensI What a position I am placed inI I not only don't know myself, but would like ex- tremely to find out from him something about the'confounded business. If I tell him the exact truth, he'll be sure not to believe me; and if I do not, my hopes are to be turned to gloom and despair. As I have nothing to communicate, I'll refuse to divulge.") " Well, have you decided ?" asked Mr. Wagbull in a tender manner, leering at Moses. "Yes, Mr. Wagbull, I have. It is to remain worthy of your esteem that I have resolved to remain silent. It is a severe conflict of feelings, but I must-I must," replied Moses, feeling very sincere. " Heavens ! You refuse-you refuse the hand of one whom you love I You contemn my benevo- lence I" MR. WINKFIELD. 149 page: 150-151[View Page 150-151] 150 MR. WINKFIELD. "Oh ! what do I hear ?" cried the young lady, undue confusion, philosophically kissed his confi- just entering the room, and inking upon the sofa. dent aad admirer, which seemed to have a re- "0 dear, what an unfortunate state of af- markable effect upon her discernment as well as fairs I I am going," continued the old gentle- upon his own, man, rushing from the room. "Confound his "Oh! I know what it is. I know," said she, attachment to principles ! If it was only for brightening under the inspiration; " it is to the Conkey, it would be splendid." newspapers that you are to take them-to the "Hear me, Bessie," said Moses in pathetic ex- newspapers 1" excitement, approaching the young lady. "When "Eh? Are you sure? The influence of news- you understand-" papers is what public men are constantly thinking "No, no, Moses, I can not endure my feelings. of." ... To think that you whom I have so-so-so-" "Certainly. The collector is a political man. "-My dear Bessie!I (Devil take the collector, This is a political matter-some question of the with his demoniac plots and anthracite intrigues! moment-and these notes are his views thereon- What business has he to make me feel uncom- his 'views of the situation '-to be published i fortable with them ?) Let me tell you, Bessie, the journals." - your father simply refuses my suit for your hand "But what journals? There are only two let- because I will not tell him what the collector ters, and there are six important newspapers." wants of me. That's all." " There are only two principal administration "-What I have you, too, become infatuated with ones, and of course he would have his views pub- these dreadful intrigues and political schemes lished in these.. Don't you remember he said they which make papa so miserable ?" were similar in substance ? He undoubtedly "Yes, yes, I have, unfortunately become ib- wishes to have them privately inserted as edito- volved in some way in them; and to you I will be rials." frank. Yes, I'll tell you that I really do not know "By heaven ! you are right," exclaimed Mo- why or wherefore." ses; "to be sure. That is the reason there was " Would you say this to me, Moses-you who no address. Of course, to the newspapers. have heretofore been so frank,' so generous in Where were my thoughts? There is'something your intercourse with me ?" in this secrecy after all which-is extremely fas- "(Heavens! she, too, thinks I am trying to de- cinating, especially when you have a clue to ceive her. Every body suspects me. 0, pshaw1 I master the difficulties; isn't there, Bessie ? As wish-I wish the collector had been afflicted with an amusing method of sharpening the faculties, blindness before he had ever seen me. But poor it may be, on the whole-" Lampson! I'll confide to her what I do know The young lady looked at him alarmedly. about it. I must have some one to assist me in 1"0 dear! Moses," said she pathetically, finding out what to do with those perplexing " will you contract the habit, too, of attending letters.) My dear Bessie, I have stated to you these caucuses and staying out till midnight 2" that I really do not know what the mystery I am "I promise you I will not," said Moses, arous- involved in-is, and, indeed, I now wish you to as- ing from the temporary infatuation. sist me in endeavoring to discover it. I do it As our hero was returning to his hotel, after however, with the strict injunction of keeping tle above conversation, he was much gratified by secret whatever I am able to reveal to you, the meeting upon the street his old friend Mr. Bunter, propriety of which you will boon plainly see." who, after grasping his hand and warmly shaking At this, Bessie, whose love and curiosity were it attempted to leave without a word. Moseg satisfied at once, brightened up, and thereupon remained "him, and inquired with- great interest Moses hurriedly proceeded to inform her of all concerning the state of his relations with Miss the relations he ever had with the collector. Tomlins'and her family. When he approached the finale of his recital, and "Shortly after we were turned out, I went produced the two sealed epistles without address West on business, as you knew by my letter," for her inspection, a fine scene of mystification said the martyr. 1I got back some time ago, was enacted by the two for a moment. They but the old gentleman still forbids my presence" looked at each other, and then at the letters, and on the same block even. I am reduced to clan- then toward the ceiling for inspiration. destine Meetings in the parks and the back- " Now, have you not heard your father, indis- kitchen, and what with servants who have ceased cussing political matters, drop something which to be reliable, Susie's fatigue, and my irritation, may be a clue to this' mystery ?" suggested it is as much as humati nature can bear, when I Moses. know it is so easy to insinuate a pound or two of' "Dear me! no. Whenever he commences to gunpowder into the coat-tail of that rascally hypo- talk politics, grandmother and I order him per- crite, and remove the cause of all this trouble.," emptorily to stop, and he is forced to 'go. off Can I do any thing? Shall I try again ," somewhere else to continue. I really do not re- asked Moses vehemently. collect any thing," continued the yomg lady, re- "I don't know. I think we had better let it fleeting, with a disappointed air; "I only know simmer, Winkfield, In fact, I have got an idea," there are 3one preparations for an election taking replied Mr. Bunter, and a gleam of hope stole place. I-" over his face; "it is my opinion that the coats "Yes, I know. That is it. It has something of Hunkeyfell's stomach are almost gone. No to do with that. Let me see-O pshaw !" man can stand two bottles of brandy a day, es- "It will not do to break the seals, will it 2" pecially when he drinks it all in secret, as this "No, stno," said Moses emphatically and there- Moses expressed the hope that the difficulty upon there was another expressive tableau, and would soon be solved, ifnot in this way, at least then our hero, in order to clear his thought of in some other, and they again parted. - MR. WINKFIELD. 151 CHAPTER LXIX. MOsEs TAEs rHEN OTEs TO TNE EWSPAPERS. AFTER inquiring into the status of the news- papers in question, to fortify his convictions that their editors were "the right men" referred to by the collector, and learning that they were both devoted to the popular cause of the administra- tion, but were exercising their usual professional violence and antagonism on the minor point of the municipal nomination, which had been tempo- rarily exaggerated into a mountain of import- ance, Moses cautiously sought, under the cover of a late evening hour, the editorial smithery of the organ of the Conkey faction, and confidently handed one of the communications he had re- ceived from the collector to the person whom he supposed to be the chief Cyclops, and whom he thus designated by the preeminent amount of dirt and printing-ink upon his face and disorder of his person. The agitation-of surprise, delight, and triumph appeared upon the visage and in the manner of the editor as he broke the seal of the note and read its contents. As he finished, he handed the document to another party present, apparently his assistant Titan, with the exulting exclamation:0 "Sniggery, we have triumphed V" The assistant received the note, read it, re- moved the green shade from his eyes in order that he might grin more expressively, and then began to scratch himself in-various parts of his person, partly for the purpose of further express- ing his defight and partly as a relaxation from his labors. "In sending directly to us, the collector in- tnds that this important communication should be published at once, eh ?" said the journalist to Moses, subduing his ecstasy. " Yes, yes, of course. It is undoubtedly to be inferred from that mere fact," replied Moses, scratching his head. "Very well, we will put it in the first column of the morning's issue," replied the editor, rub- bing his hands; "assure him of that." Fine composition, sir, said Moses, lingering; finely worded." " Yes. It is rather short; but there is matter enough; and in the matter lies-its eloquence," said the editor elatedly. " Perhaps in reading it aloud you will observe its peculiarring," suggested Moses again, under the influence of his curiosity. 'Yes," replied the editor, " read aloud or si- i mtly, it will ring before to-morrow night over the whole city, and wring the bosom of the poor creature to whom, once honored and trusted as a member of the great party which he now openly abandons and conspires to overthrow, we feel abundantly able most efficiently to teach a lesson without resorting to defamation. We think we have been long enough in the harness to know that what we have to do is to discuss principles, and not bespatter with malignant reproaches or disparaging epithets. And in defending the in- terests of human progress, of education, and of temperance, we know we have not failed, in our long and arduous career, to avoid the discourtesy, the ribaldry, the supererogatory rudeness and impertinence which the more decent of the readl- ers of our unexceptionable (God save the mark !) cotemporary have been obliged to lately swallow in perusing the cooldeliberate, wicked, and wanton lies of this despicable imbecile, this wretched villain and poor, abject tool, who either has been or will be bought cheap by the rum- selling swindlers, guzzling sots, and locofoco fos- sils who infest the grog-shops and fill the jails of the community. - Here the experienced journalist paused in his nervous eloquence, and examined his table for the purpose of finding the vigorous slip which he had been recently amusing himself by in- diting, and from which he was quoting; but fail- ing in his search, he gave up his intention of proceeding, and generously asked Moses to take a glass of water, that liquid being the only one which was ever permitted, or permitted to re- main, in the office. Moses would fain have staid longer to gratify his curiosity; but as he again saw symptoms of rising gall, which he felt appeared -to be among politicians unpleasantly strong, he resumed his caution and repressed any further impulses of his curiosity until the mor- row, when in all probability the nature of the singular events in which lie had been engaged would at last be disclosed to him. He therefore declined the nectar which had been offered him, and retired. From the office of the Conkey or- gan he sought the fulminating garret of the Tricker party. There he placed the remaining communication in the hand of the chief person- age present, whom he distinguished as such upon the principle which. he had applied at the other establishment, and who was a trifle dirtier than the one thereat. The same succession of sur- prise, delight, and triumph appeared in this gen- tleman's countenance-at least on that part of it which was not covered with dirt and ink. Moses began to feel highly satisfied too. " Yes, Bessie was right, thought he; "it is evidently some compromise-some clever stroke by the great politician for the restoration of har. mony in the party. Both wings are satisfied." As the collector has intrusted this to us di- rectly, sir," said this editor, after his moment of meditative rapture, "he has undoubtedly wished that we should publish it." "Yes-that is-certainly," replied Moses, besi- tating, with some momentary misgiving at this point, arising from the singular coincidence of this question with the other editor's. " It shall appear in the first column, in double caps. Present my compliments and the common gratitude of the party to the collector, and tell him this. And by heaven! take sonic refresh- ment, sir-take some refreshmer.. Biggs, bring forth the glasses from the closet." The sub-editor appealed to looked significantly at his chief, and then whispered to him. "I am sorry that we have nothing to offer you," continued the chief to Moses, " but some petroleum-wine, made from coal-oil-an advertis- ing sample, which I am obliged to pronounce dangerous, as I have tried it." "Oh! never mind. By the way," said Moses, "you will, of course read over the communica- tion and see that the punctuation is correct, or perhaps I now might do so. Allow me." " Oh! no; of course, we will attend to that. Yes, sir ; the points will be properly put in, sir. The chief point is already there, sir. It is that, sir, which puts a period-a full stop, sir-to the insane malignancy andn futile arrogance of our page: 152-153[View Page 152-153] 152 MR. WINKFIELD. benevolent-ha, ha !-cotemporary. It is that w which belies his predictions, baffles his expecta- g tions, squelches his invocations, deranges his cal- culations, and inhabilitates his nominations. (The t frenzy is coming on me. Stand by, Biggs, and m take down in short-hand what I have to say. If s there is any thing which can't be substantiated, I can lay the article on you.) No longer, incensed i to madnes, full of sound and fury, and with equal bitterness and disregard of truth, will he dare to assail his betters; nor longer pile accusa- tion upon accusation of the true conservators of c the party with that energy which he fain would s hide in what we must paradoxically mark as ad prurient modesty and arrogant humility, ands which only his secret and private malice may explain. Outstripping all fibbers in indifference to the truth of facts, let him eclipse Munchausenv in the extravagance of his conceptions; but thec disgraceful spectacle which he has presented to t decent'people as the great philanthropist, whoseI only philanthropy lies in the futility of his ma- levolence, the scoundrelly, malignant, doting, I raving-"I "Yes, I will," interrupted Moses, recovering himself ; " I had better go immediately, certainly.I And good evening-good evening, sir." With these words Moses fled from the office,t and, proceeding to his couch, calmly awaited the morrow's developments. Who shall picture the astonishment, confusion, and dismay of both the above editors-of all theI persons, high and low, attached to their respect- ive establishments-of all the admirers of each, of Conkey and Tricker themselves, of the entire Conkey and entire Tricker faction-nay, the in. tense excitement, risible and otherwise, of the whole city, upon reading in the next morning's issue of each of these papers, the following ef- forts in the polite epistolary line from that high and mighty political potentate, the collector. In the first column of the Conkey organ: "The Collector presents his compliments to the faithful adherent of the true Republican cause in the coming municipal contest in this city. You are hereby authorized to assure the friends of your candidate for the important office of the mayoralty of the city attached to the chief port of entry of the nation that it is the intention of the Collector to wannly and earnestly support that candidate in the coming contest." (Signed.) In the Tricker organ: "The Collector congratulates the firm and un- wavering agent of the true interests of Republic- anism. He takes pleasure in assuring him that the candidate whose cause he is asserting, and who must undoubtedly be regarded as the ex- ponent of patriotic principles, Republican mea- sures, and municipal prosperity, may rely upon the entire moral and active influence of the Cot- lector in the approaching convention." (Signed.) We will not attempt to portray the feelings ok the various parties before mentioned upon com- paring these two notes; but itis our duty to chronicle the feelings of the worthy author him- self thereon,- as far as they were connected with our hero. He sent for Moses about the time the Intter ras agitatedly scratching his head in a gradually rowing illumination upon the matter. "Well, sir, what have you to say respecting his extraordinary publication ?" said he to Moses. with impressive sternness; "what have you to ay, sir?" " I-I took them myself to the editors," the ntimidated and penitent Moses began to confess, 'and I supposed-" " It was, then, a feat originated and performed olely by you, sir ?" continued the collector in oncentrated excitement. "This presumption is omething new-it is something new in a subor- dinate, sir. Instead of giving these notes to the ecretary's agent in each wing, to secretly and quietly fortify the position and calm the impa- tience of each, until I could decide which one was the strongest and best to capture, you con- cluded that it could be more easily done through the diffusive facilities of the public press, eh? You thought you would kindly relieve us at the very outset of the necessity of going on at all- by heaven !-and dispense with all delay and go. betweens, by putting these notes in the hands of the public organs, and irrevocably commit me in favor of bot asides, without leaving me the slight- est chance of denying to the party at large and to the world this fine piece of stultification with which I have astonished them." Moses was about to make a clean breast of it, to make a sincere and heartfelt apology for his past unwarrantable acts, and to get out of the collector's office as best he could, when he was greatly surprised to see that official suddenly rub his hands, and to hear him make the following 'remarks: " But I forgive you, sir; I forgive the presump- tion in my admiration of the brilliancy of the move."7 . " Eh ?" responded Moses in confusion; "I- I-" " Excellent, excellent. Undoubtedly the best thing that could have been done," continued the collector in apparent ecstasy; "I never should have thought of extricating myself from the troublesome affair in such a manner-never. A masterly effort-a masterly piece of satire and diplomacy combined, sir. Ha ! ha ! How the secretary will laugh when it reaches Washington. But shake hands-shake hands, sir. It is un- equaled." And hereupon the undoubtedly overjoyed poli- tician shook the hand of the astonished amateur in political science most fervently. " It will add considerably to my reputation, sir-considerably," continued the politician, grow- ing in rapture; "shake hands again, sir! Why, how did you come to think of it? Let me see: by promising myself in favor of both, I of course mean that I do not take either side. To be sure, I have to take up that imbecile Noblock; but he is as good as any other blockhead to throw away the President's patronage upon. Yes, both the Conkeyites and the Tricker party will be delighted at finding the other has not got it. Glorious! They would rather have that than their own success. They will see it is a measure which my duty to the party dictated to me for its restoration to harmony ; and if they should not happen to like it, I can lay it to the President, ha ! ha ! They will love and fear me, sir. Yes, sir. And the secretary will be gratified beyond meca- sure at my management. Shake hands, shake hands! To you I owe all." And again the pleased official expressed the ardor of his satisfaction in that primitive act of friendship for at least two minutes. . " I am undoubtedly a man of genius," thought the exalted Moses; " it is settled that I am a po- litical genius." " A desk is vacant in the inspection bureau. It is at your disposal," said the collector abrupt- ly, in the midst ol his delight; " but really, with such talents, you do not contemplate tying your- self to a clerkship, do you ?" " Oh I no, sir. A friend of mine, a worthy man and gentleman of education, sir-Mr. Joseph Lampson," replied Moses hastily, "has asked me to---" " Very well; say no more. I appoint Mr. Jo- seph Lampson a deputy inspector. And here- here is a note from me to him," replied the col- lector, at once rapidly inditing the appointment; "let him be at the Custom House to-morrow morning to be sworn in." " Yes, sir-yes, sir," replied the overjoyed Mo- ses ; " I will carry it to him at once. 1 would like to go immediately." " Very well, very well," continued the col- lector; "and I shall see you again soon, of course ? Glorious, glorious! A, great relief!1 Shake hands before you go." Moses rushed at once with the appointment to his friend the scholar, and tholight of nothing else until he had placed it in his hands. It was as the collector predicted. The next morning two columns of editorial matter appear- ed in each of the rival organs, composed of ter- rific vituperation and slang abuse of each other, intermingled with taunts at the failure of each and congratulations to the party in general that the vile Conkey and the treacherous Tricker and their creatures had been read this severe lesson by that pure patriot and proud intellect, the collec- tor, for their infamous attempts at distracting thie party by their efforts at personal aggrandizement. As for the Hon. Luke Noblock, words can not express the sentiments of gratitude and friend- ship which he presently felt he had cause to en- tertain for our hero. He was triumphantly nomi- nated in the ensuing convention, and of course, from the state of parties at that period, ultiinate- ly elected. Learning from the collector himself Moses's valuable services in his interests, he took occasion one morning when Moses was with Mr. Wagbull at the Evercroft House to publicly thank him for his disinterested friendship shown in the matter. Mr. Wagbull, who, as a deter- mined Conkeyite, had been satisfied with the overthrow of the Tricker party, heard with feel- ings of gratification, respect, and awe the honor- able gentleman allude to Moses's efforts as the chief means by which his nomination was se- cured. In particular did the familiaAty of our hero with those great men, the editors, and lia visits to those sacred places, their sanctums, im- press the worthy old merchant with his political importance. " Why, he goes about their offices just as if he was walking in the street or in a hotel parlor," whispered he to Mr. Barnard, who was standing near, and whom he momentarily interrupted in the pleasing occupation of contorting his visage at the worthy wearer of the municipal laurels,. -" Yes," replied the lively gentleman, "he doesn't mind the dirt there any more than in the other places." Whether Moses visited the collector again very soon, or whether he finally disclosed, or \"as corn- pelled to disclose, by the arrival of the true agent from Washington, the real position which he had occupied in the matter, or what measures the collector took with him, if so, to keep it a secret, it is, perhaps, immaterial to state. It is sufficient for us to know that Mr. Lampson continued to- hold his pleasant place in the Custom House, and that Moses, by the judicious advice of Bessie, kept quiet himself, and continued to enjoy the honors of an immense reputation among those in political circles who knew him, and particularly in the estimation of her father, CHAPTER LXX. NUPTIALS IN sUMMER LANE. A FEW days after the publication of the banns between Mrs. Difficult and her lover Moses re- ceived in his rooms a friendly deputation of col- ored gentlemen, members of the Shiloh church, who had kindly consented, in acerdance with the wishes of the couple, to take this niethod of removing the antipathy of rn io the r preaching union. From these gentlemen Mloses learned that his domestic had been latterly man- ifesting his repugnance to the proposed measure in an extremely violent and disagreeable manner at his parent's house. His conduct had become refractory and obstinate to the last degree, and to show that his downright objection to the match was irrevocable, lie had even gone so far as to challenge the exercised Lommydew, and upon the refusal of satisfaction by the latter, to brandish a dinner-knife at the table before him, to squeeze him in doorways, to utter indefinite threats against the continuance of his existence and to take other similar measures, which had at last rendered the visits of the groom to his fu- ture lady not only disagreeable, but even dan- gerous. While Moses heartily sympathized with the honest motives of Brunswick, he disapprov- ed of this violent method of obeying them, and promptly informed the committee, who took oc- casion to politely express their regard both for him and their friend Brunswick, that he would at once enjoin the latter to moderate his conduct to a reasonable degree. In accordance with this promise, he endeavored by a long disquisition upon the nature of human beings in general, and by a thorough analysis of the matter in hand, to point out to Brunswick that further resistance was useless. He stated that he had long fore- seen this determination of the suit, or else he would have more actively assisted him in at- tempting to thwart its progress. He had exam- ined the statutes, according to Brunswick's de- sire, for the purpose of discovering the legal prohibition of the marriage of widows whose former husband's remains had not been found. But there appeared to be no such ordinance among them, and in fact, none of any other kind which seemed applicable to the case. Bruns- wick, who had placed much reliance upon the possible interference of the authorities,.listenied with dejected conviction to the definite accents MR. WINKFIE, LD. 153 '1 page: 154-155[View Page 154-155] . MR. WINKFIELD.-155 154 MR. WINKFIELD. of our hero, aid resignedly promised to obeyY his injunctions and abstain from further violent opposition to the marriage. - It was thus permit- ted to tranquilly approach its consummation.c A temporary postponement of the day had been t made in cons, quence of the sudden demise ofr Mr. Lommeydew's grandsire, who died revert-C ing to Mumbo Jumbo, undoubtedly from the rheumatic effects of his religious ordeal at the church. But jas soon as the delicate feelings oft the young man were strengthened, the day was ( again fixed, and happiness and excitement dur-I ing the ensuing preparations therefor reigned in the home of the fair bride. The- assistance and, advice of several of her lady friends were ofI course in constant requisition. There was muchI running to and fro between her mansion and an eminent thread and needle store in the-neighbor-I hood, and small dry-goods boys were constantly arriving at her front-door, while by such neigh-I bors as were inquisitive enough to gratify their curiosity in furtively peering through the blinds of her back-parlor window, an interesting con- clave of colored ladies might be seen working in silent earnestness, or vehemently discussing mat- ters of acknowledged importance to the sex un- der such circumstances, appertaining to the ap- propriate positions of the principals at the cere- mony, to the number of bridesmaids, to the al- ternative of solemnizing the event in a church, or of more quietly pqrforming it in a front-par- lor, to that of whether the bride should faint before or after the critical moment, etc. These and many other points suggested by the profound sense of etiqut-tte inherent in the female bosom were being settled by these friends, who had, constituted themselves, in parliamentary lan- guage, an executive committee, with arbitrary power to send for gin, oysters, sweetmeats, etc. Now and then Mr. Lomineydew attending these gatherings was archly made to spend an hour in reading to them during their work, from the Atlantic monthly, the Ledger, or other or- gans of the intellectual fashions of the day, while they listened with languishing looks of sub- dued emotion after the most delicate style of their young lady mistresses. "That is a beautifully poem, Mr. Lommey- dew," one would say. "Fr6m whom ?". " Ah! a little thing originally written and pub- lished in Europe, by a blind man named Milton, and now republished by the chief poetess of the Monthly." "It is so mystery and elegance. Sweet I" "Yes, and she very cleverly obtains that ef- fect by leaving out every second line of the orig- inal and a decided improvement in the rimth, too I" " In what? What de rimph?" inquires an honest Jersey matron, staring at the student, who immediately talks her into a state of silent admi- ration at his poetic acquirements. " But Mendelssohn 1- I likes Mendelssohn bet- ter. Oh ! how sleepy he is i" says another., "Why, that's music, you fool!" replied the first., "That's lasick's music. It's the name of some of Classick's pieces. We an't talkin' about music, Jenny. Why, what are you think- in' about i?" "I know. But my mistis says he is the most sleepy, aiid I like him !" "Dreamy, you mean. Sleepy I You're tooe young, Jenny, to come out already. Entirely too young -" "1 don't care, my mistis knows as much about dese tings as yourn," replies the other, and with this very true assertion, the reading of other pieces is resumed and the work of delight is ar- dently prosecuted. With a delicate regard for Brunswick's feel- ngs Moses's name was inserted in the list of those of the bride's friends, and a wedding- card of mammoth proportion Was duly received by him, which he pleasantly acknowledged by enabling Brunswick to buy, in his own name, for his step-mother ten bundles of shingles, to repair her dwelling, that being considered by the worthy son as the best present which could be made -her. The destined day at last arrived, and whatever secret efforts the reluctant Brunswick wis making in opposition to the event seemed likely to fail. The bride was dressed in full splendor at twelve O'clock, and in the usual words of the female friends, ' "never looked lovelier than at that moment," the idea of full dress being thoroughly carried out in the wedding attire, though in some re- spects it might have been regarded by the crit- ical observer as the opposite of full. However, it made up in the skirt what it lacked in the bust, and as both were strictly en regle, it may be said she outstripped all the others present, metaphorically as well as literally. At two o'clock a large and fashionable assemblage, comprising some of the principal lady's maids, cooks, coach- men, and valets of the metropolis had gathered in and about the premises to assist at the cere- onies, it being deemed advisable that they- should take place thereat, to obviate any acci- dent which might occur to the guests were they compelled to rush along the public highways from the ceremony at the church to the dinner at the house. It now appeared that a few preliminary mat- ters, usually passed over, had to be settled in a minute manner in this case, ere the clergyman was willing to proceed. These were the requi- sites of the statutes made.and provided for such cases. The working of the poison which had been instilled into the pastor's mind for the past few days by Brunswick was perhaps disclosed in this sudden strictness, though the worthy cler- gyman had been a great stickler for particulars ever since he had been unfortunately arrested and threatened with incarceration in the peni- tentiary for a term of years as an accomplice of a severe case of bigamy in his flock. He pro- cbeded amid the hush of the guests to inquire the respective ages of the two parties about to be engaged in the solemn act. To this question there at once succeeded some confusion. Nei- ther knew how old they were, and the bride, who felt herself called upon to fully maintain the sen- sibility of her sex, declared with great feeling amid the applause of her feniale friends, that she would not tell if she could. "De ceremony can't go on!" exclaimed the clergyman briefly but decisively, and what with his own natural obstinacy and the ardent support he derived from Brunswick, the old gentleman's position might have conclusively stopped the proceedings had not several of the guests inter- fered. -By threatening to expel him from the pastorate if he would. not, and by promising to procure him bronchial leave of &bsence there- from if be would, he was finally persuaded to make a compromising survey and general aver- age and proceed to the next point, which was the principal one he was desirous of settling.' Upon the point of the one or both of them being at that time possibly contemplating polygamy, he flatly stated that he would not be content with the mere testimony of the parties themselves. "I an't gwine to get into de penitentiary for six years!i Tucker was a good member of Shi- loh, and I tought it all right! De ceremony can't go on!I" Beunswick gave , an audible expression of sat- isfaction at this, and his hopes rose high that there would be a postponement at least of the matter. But there happened to be in the assem- blage a young colored gentlemen, one of the sec- onds of the bridegroom, who occupied the most of his professional time in sweeping the floors and dusting the yellow calf of a legal firm of the city. This person promptly stepped forward, and fixing his gaze in adroit superciliousness upon the stick- ler for the statutes, stated that all which was re- quired to settle the case was hearsay. "In de case of Johnson vs. Bugg," said this young man, making a superhuman effort to re- member the forms so often used by his masters in the law office. "In de case of Johnson, 17th McCunn, it was held as elusivee by-by de alder- man after a long argument and able hearing, that as Missis Johnson's female friends had never found it out she didn't have eight husbands, and in Thomas vs. Thomas, see de Police Reports, 470, it was 'termined dat as Thomas was 'cus- tomed to boast in de pothouses dat he had free other wives, it was sufficient grounds for grant- ing a divorce to the one who was then 'putedly supportin' of himI" "Wall I do' know but dat satisfies me. I tink it does. I must be satisfied on de law, dat is all. De ceremony can-hold, dere is one more pint," continued the prudent divine. ,"I must proceed rationally. De lady in dis case'has been married afore ! What I wish to ask de bridegroom is, if he has felt coercion in dis matter ?" "Only once or twice, sir. It was highly na- chul I" replied the happy man. 0 pshaw! I ask you, do you lub do Missis?" asked the minister in some irritation. "Pastor, I am willing, sir, to take -my oath on the holy writ !" replied the divinity-student. This was considered quite satisfactory, and with it the last hope of the discontented Bruns- wick vanished. The awful knot was now tied amidst a terrible silence, wherewith several pins in the assemblage sympathetically dropped. This was immediate- ly followed by the tearful kissing of the bride. and the jocose congratulation of the happy groom, during which the former tore herself away to visit the banquet-room in her matron- ly desire that the festivities of the occasion should be successful in all the appointments,( and that none of the guests should unduly fore-I stall the others in partaking of the enjoyments( thereof; her mind, in fact, having been much distracted through the entire ceremony by the fact of two small children, acting under the instincts of extreme'youth, having taken advantage of the settlement of the preliminaries, and abstracted one of the mosct important pies and eight doughnuts from the nuptial board. The signing of the mar- riage certificate by the clergyman, which now took place, was an act of great solemnity, although the difficulties arising f om his limited experience in chirography were discernible in the spasmod- ic sympathy of his legs, eyes and tongue with his writing, the first being'thrust convuively back of his chair, the second starting from his head, and the latter protruded from his mouth and following the slow and arduous motions of his hand. At a given signal, a rush was made for the table, which was pronounced by one of the gen- tlemen present As "truly poetical." Extremely diverting were the trencher feats performed thereat, varying according to the constitutional ability or habits of the numerous guests. To speak generally, it would have been, perhaps, dan- gerous to have attempted to divert the attention of any from the intensely absorbing occupation,. un- til nature had been, at least, partially satisfied. The legal young gentleman and groomsman, who devoted himself to the oysters, seemed, also to delight in drinking vinegar in large quantities at a time, without winking, while a large colored gentleman opposite to him distinguished himself by the wonderful height to which he adroitly projected into the air, in parabolic curves, the food which ultimately reached his capacious mouth. The impressive ceremony, invented by another groomsman, in which the healths of the bride and her groom were drunken, is, perhaps, impos- sible to describe. A throb of enthusiasm, passed in each breast, as with arms intertwined, a lady and gentleman alternating, around the table, the entire company in solemn silence raised their glasses to their lips, and at a concerted moment, transferred the contents thereof to their interior. All of Brunswick's hope being completely dissi- pated when the magnanimous groom accosted him in an affecting, parental manner as "his son," he rationally proceeded to enjoy the occa- sion as much as possible, by eating, drinking kissing the bridesmaids, and assisting the gratifi- cati6n of the natural appetites of his powerless friend and consoler, the revered pastor. To such a degree was the clergyman's festive ardor in- creased by the step-son's efforts, that it exhibited itself before he finished, in a paralytic break- down in one corner of the room, and a spirited defiance to one or two gentlemen, who seemed inclined to look upon the performance as rather eccentric, and attempted to stop him therein. A ball in the evening consummated the event, when "the masculine youth, with irresistibly lovely women, comprising our most gifted jeunesse dorie, (we quote from a subsequent account in the Colored Statesman's Social Companion and Raw Oysterer,) were treading buoyantly the measures of foreign and domestic dances, the jig, saraband, and bolero, to the melody of softest strains, and where hovered over all a poesy of color, light, shade, odor, mirth, congeniality, and delight, as would have tempted an anchorite from hi5 cell and led a daughter of the mystic Church of Rome to forget her vows. It was a splendid renaissance-pot pourri of the ancestral lace, satin, and brocade, in which the eminent second- ary-manipulating establishment of Buxbumn & Brothers of the Seventh avenue--for whom and whose colored partner we speak a good word, and palliate his forswearing the Christian faith, page: 156-157[View Page 156-157] MR. WINKFIELD. ML and assuming the Israclitish career, as a mere powerful smell of apple-jack prevailing about his business form-showed their renovating genius. person. Like several other celebrated characters Animated and graceful, it surged hither and in history, he was indulging in a pathetic apos. thither, giving voice and gesture to a syllabic re- trophy to fate, for it was the only thing left for frain that bewildered and allured. At once a him to do in the matter. 'His soliloquy was marvel of loveliness and refinement,.to which the mostly similar to that of the illustrious Wolsey,- eye, once caught, could but surrender without dis- as chronicled by Shakespeare, excepting that the cretion. Within a circle, not magic, but gayly sentiments were reversed. The wretched cardinal alive with sprites and handsome men, hedged felt that if he had served his God and his country about with beauteous women and happy attend- half as well as he had his king, he would, no doubt,, ants, moved easily in and out the motion of the have been allowed to proceed and enjoy the office genial pastime. It would be invidious to criticise of assistant-bluebeard, just as formerly. But the the toilet of the ladies. Suffice it to pass over unhappy judge laid his misfortunes to serving the more exquisite ilustratio, s of taste in referring the cause of justice and truth with more zeal to the general splendor, setting down naught in than he did his party. malice, and nothing exterminating." "Women again !"murmured he somewhat thick- The ball was continued until the small hours ly. " What did they make Justice a goddess for ? of the night, and the next morning a majority of If she'd been a man, a manly man, she'd never the respectable families who kept colored servants permitted me to be thus bullyragged out of my in the city were astonished at discovering their rights I"I domestics lying in a state of insensibility at the "What is the matter, judge ?" asked our hero, area-gates, or under the front-stoops; a state of as the ex-statesman finally recognized them, affairs which also caused much pleasing excite- "You are not unwell, I hope ?" meant among the doctors of the city, who were "I am, Mr. Winkfield. I am, sir. I can not,. led to believe that a new epidemic, as yet singu- as a true patriot, sir, sit here, and from this rocky larly confined to the colored population, had eminence view that noble structure," replied the. made its appearance - in the community. Mr. judge, pointing to the City Hall, "see that noble Winkfield had his share, too, of the morning as- building, which should be devoted to the interests tonishment, being called upon to bail his domestic of humanity and the democracy prostituted by from the police-station, who had in conclusion minions and hirelings 'of traitors. Mr. Wink. endeavored to obtain that relief for his feelings, field, I committed a great mistake, sir, on the which he had failed to secure in a more legitimate tribunal. I was too foolishly attentive to my way, by thrashing the three assistant grooms, on official duties in the court-room. If I had paid their way home from the festivities. more attention to the party and less to the bench, I, should have been all right, and I am sorry I didn't !" "4Have you retired entirely, judge, from the CHAPTER LXXL political arena ?" asked Moses delicately, after a moment's pause. CATO IN EXILE. "For the present, for the present, sir. Over- Taim late municipal election which resulted so powered by the malignant creatures and hirelings, favorably for one of Moses's friends, Mr. Noblock, who have grabbed the sway of the party, I have was as unfavorable to another, the ex-judge Poo- temporarily sought refuge from their execrable toops. To say that his bold attempt at the dan- persecution in the shelter of personal retirement, gerous process of bolting from the regular organ- sir. But to watch them, sir. To watch them ization of his party and setting up one of his own, and to crush them," continued he, rising in his was an ignominious failure, would not be thor- excitement and swaying to and fro; "with my oughly expressive, without the additional epithet full weight, sir 1" of " dreadful." He had either miscalculated his "Good!1 Fall on 'em, old heavy-boy V" cried personal strength among the ranks, or else his Mr. Barnard, patting the judge upon the back in admirers at the fatal hour had lost the nerve to warm but undignified sympathy. sustain him, and in turn bolted from him. His "Young man, you will respect the rules of the name was not heard in the nominating conven- court. Let there be no epithets. -No epithets V" tion, and, consequently, was not at the election, said the judge. " And no familiarity with the with the exception of being mentioned among- back of the court.' . the scattering at the latter, as the recipient of "I meant no offense, judge, and I must say seven votes, which were the result of his own and you will be an ugly boy fbr some of 'em, yet !" of his faithful constable's desperate efforts to sus- replied Mr. Barnard in encouragement. tain his cause, and of five of his more recent " Your sentiments are correct, sir. You un- creditors to sustain theirr.- derstand the nature of the late struggle' While walking in the Park with Mr. Barnard, " Understand itI Intimately ; and it is my a few days after the nominations, Moses discov- opinion the row would never have occurred, if ered the fallen chief, who had thus so hopelessly the parties on both sides had not been so beastly ostracized himself by his own rash act from all drunk !" . further share in politics, seated upon a bench, and "On both sides! Do you mean to say I was apparently contemplating the stock of an adja- drunk too, sir ?" asked the judge exercised again. cent apple-woman, but in reality meditating upon "Of course not. You exhibit sense in drinking, the ruins of the Pootoopian structure. That he as in every thing else, eh, judge? Ha i ha i had not yet fully recovered from the crushing catch an old and experienced weasel somnolent, sense of hiis disaster was evident from the fact eh ?" continued the lively Mr. Barnard, again for- that he was scarcely conscious of the approach getfully slapping Judge Cato upon the back, and of Moses and Mr. Barnard, and also from the so heartily as to materially disturb' the balance of his person and to cause him to swallow rather irregularly the continuance of his indignant de- niaL "I beg pardon, judge, a mere inadvertence, and Moses, suppose we all step into Windust's and sit down there over a glass of ale? What say you, judge ?" continued he, in amiable concil- iation., "You have mentioned refreshments, young man," replied the judge sternly. "I have, and I say Windust's is the place." "I have already waived the consideration of your familiarity With my person, sir. As a friend of Mr. Winkfield, I consent to join you," contin- ued the judge, rising majestically, and taking Mo- sea's arm -at once. "It is a poor and wretched substitute for an apology, but I accept it." "He is somewhat vivacious, judge," said Moses as they followed Barnard, "and a little vehement in the manifestation of his friendship, but--" "Ie undoubtedly tried to knock me ofT the bench, sir." " But you will pass over his eccentricity ?" "I have, and as your friend, I humor his propositions, sir." " How did -the torch-light procession of the Club result, judge ?" asked Moses, as the three sat down together in the refreshment-room. .. " It was small, but brilliant, and would have been a success, sir-a success; but my constable accidentally sent a rocket into a third-story win- dow, which knocked over and set fire to a woman who was there. The procession was attacked and dispersed by the male relatives of the female, sir, and we couldn't get together again. Women again said the judge, with severest irritation, in his melancholy," devil take'em all!" Affected by the remembrance, he drained his glass, and' proceeded with various incoherent observations' upon the deplorable state of his party, of muni- cipal affairs, of the nation, and of mankind gen- erally, and predictions of all sorts of calamities which were inevitable to all four, to which Moses feigned to listen with deep earne tneda, while Mr. Barnard appeared to be wholly taken up with de- lighted admiration of the ex-functionary's won- derful powers of section. He was in absolute ecstasy as the latter paused in his interesting re- cital, overcome by his feelings, and abstractedly drank from Moses's glass, which. had remained untouched upon the table. As Mr. Barnard ordered fresh glasses, and as the judge's conversation began to be interspersed with ferocious threats, and gave other signs of decided spirituous aberration, Moses concluded to rise and mention an engagement to be fulfilled by him up-town. "Some trouble with a young lady, his intend- ed, you know, and he is trying to patch it up," whispered Barnard to the disappointed judge, as our hero determined to leave. There never was a truer saying than if there is any difficulty about, you'll find a woman in it " exclaimed the judge, bringing his fist down em- phatically upon the table. "Think of that noble young man being a victim of 'em Sing'ler I Somehow, the best fellers fall a prey to 'em." "Never mind, excuse him ; but you stay and dine with me here, judge. We'll have one of Joseph's chops and a bottle of sherry," continued Mr. Barnard, who had become completely fasci, nated with the society of the fallen statesman. " You are a ImnoWing feller and 'telligent citizen. I will dine with you on your own ac- count and as rep'sent'ive of noble fren' and glo- rious fuller, Winkfield." It was hardly, however, as Moses's representa- tive that Mr. Barnard, later in the evening, en- deavored to lead the judge to the City Hall, for the purpose of attacking the building, with mis- siles, and of taking forcible possession of the Comptroller's office; nor as such when, by re- peated examples, he subsequently induced him to imitate the cries of various animals in the streets and lanes of the city. His careful escort of the judge to his lodgings was more in accord- ance with Moses's ideas of benevolence, and per- haps also were his vehement efforts to shove the ex-statesman through the back-kitchen window for the purpose of avoiding any unpleasant en- counter with the landlady, though he made a lit- tle too much unnecessary noise in the attempt. "1 thought you'd put your foot in it, coming in this way," said the judge, as the enraged fe- male appeared in the kitchen in her night ap- parel, armed with a broom and accompanied by a stout maid; "we'd better gone straighter front' door and rung." " What do you mean by coming home in spirits at midnight, and breaking into my house through the basement-window, like a villain and night prowelcr ? What do you mean ?" shrieked the lady, to relieve herself of the excitement of her fright. " Never mind, madam," interposed Mr. Bar- nard ; "every man has a right to break into any house which he owns or has properly paid the rent of." " But he hasn't paid the rent. Ie owes me for fifteen months out of two years and more he's been in this here house, a part of the time eating my string-beans, lamb, and green peas, and a bottle of horse-radish every time, which he is very fond of, and free use of my best wash-tub for bathing himself, the dissolute !" "There is no use arguing with her, she's got agoin'," said the semi-sobered judge in a low voice to his defender. "Berrer go I" " Drunk, and breaking in the back-winder, like g low attempt of a cunning night proweler I" "Theexactest traits of body or of mind We owe to models ef an humble lhind," murmured Mr. Barnard, it;eueensBerry to trip there's no--" "You, boon companion, leave my kitchen, with your 6issoluteness, you nasty, immoral de- bochy, or I'll make you with this," continued the excited female, shaking her broom at the tickled Barnard. " My dear madam," replied he, " these are cer- tainly very sweeping remarks of yours?. "You think you'll continue your orgey here? Go off I" " As you go on so, I shall be compelled to, my good woman; and excuse me if I have kept you remaining here to converse, but really there is fascination about your appearance and conversa- tion which it was impossible to resist." "She's a flirt," interrupted the judge in thick accents; " a dre'ful flirt I" " What do you mean by that, you fool" asked the outraged female, " Never nad, I understand your engaging 157 156 'MR. WINKFIELD. page: 158-159[View Page 158-159] MR. WINKFIELD. 159 158 MR. WINKFIILD. arts and your snares," replied the deposed fune- n tionary sternly, waving his hand. "You can't a surround me.'Seek your couch. You are a wom-m an. The proper place for you is in bed, mar'am." h " You sheftless, drunken dog, the proper place a for you is under the pump," retorted the landlady spiritedly. 4, l " Ha, haI Shif'less! I perceive, mar'am, you 1 are not entirely so," continued the judge, at-r tempting to assume a facetious gravity; "I per-c ceive you are not entirely so." The exhausted female made a blow at him i with her broom-stick, and another at Mr. Bar- I nard, who at once prudently withdrew from the I window through which he had been conversing,r and shortly from the premises, the last sights which he obtained of the scene being that of the I judge slinking up the staircase to the regions of sleep, in heavy agitation, closely followed and oc- casionally propelled by the vehement dame, while t the yawning maid of Teutonia, who had been awakened by the final noise from her five minutes'( standing nap, drowsily followed with the candle. CHAPTER LXXII.t TUE CONCLUSION. - Ta sensitive grandmother of Miss Wagbull, had no doubt seen during her long earthly ex-I perience many-events ocdurring over which she had no control, and it is probable that her in- telligence at last overcame her feelings of anti- pathy to the entertainment by her granddaughter( of any idea of marriage, and led her to acquiesce( in a matter which she could not countervail. She at once transferred those feelings to the delin-I quencies of the Irish boy, and made the late ob-I ject of her opposition her confident in the mat- ter, seizing constant opportunities of revealing to him the shortcomings which she had sudden- ly observed in the unhappy page's conduct, and asking for advice upon his supposed refractori- ness. Moses defended the youth as well as hisI benevolence could prompt him, but for a few days that worthy domestic's existence appeared to be under a cloud. The conduct of Mr. Wagbull had now become very mysterious. He Yppeared to be engrossed with a matter of great importance, which it was in vain for his friends to discover, excepting Mr. Titman, for whom his friendship seemed sud- denly to have become intense and confidential to an unaccountable degree. The tw5 were seen together from morn till eve, rushing in and out of the mansion at unexpected hours, engaging in low, earnest consultation, or poring over books and writings therein, and then disappearing to some unknown quarter with the same haste they had displayed in their advent. Mr. Titman man- ifested a dignified reserve in answer to the in- quiry of his friends on the singularity of these proceedings, alluding but abstractedly to his en- grossment in difficult problems connected with the science to 'which he was devoted, and softtes,, stringers, intrados, arches, and Knoblesdorff seemed mixed in inextricable confusion in his thoughts. TIhe day before that fixed for Miss Wagbull's union with Moses a solution to the mystery was promulgated in the form of a gor- geously engraved invitation, issued to the nu, I merous friends of both, requesting their assist- nce at a dinner in a small but elegant house, which the worthy parent had bought up town, and ad been altering and repairing with studied care and secrecy to zuit the peculiar tastes of his daughter and her husband. Without the know- edge of either, all the necessary arrangements, had been completed therein, even to the employ- ment of a distinguished cook, who had been pro- cured for the establishment by Dehnonico,, and who had been for days previous quietly study- ng to render his introductory dinner worthy of his reputation. Brunswick had been installed as butler of the establishment, and Miss-WagbulPs maid sought secret opportunities to visit the new mansion and prepare for her coming duties as housekeeper. On the morning of the marriage-day nothing occurred to mar the harmony of the prepara- tions for the ceremony, excepting perhaps pre- mature symptoms of intoxication upon the part of the. Irish boy, and the detection at an early stage of the worthy parent of the bride in the act of laughing at the trouble of Miss Rushton, as one of the bridesmaids, and his prompt ex- pulsion from further participation in the prepar- tory proceedings. The entire party repaired to- St. Catherine's church, where the revered pas- tor of the family, Dr. Tinker, united the two, Miss Rushton and one of the fashionable Miss Browns sustaining the bride in this hour of trial, and Mr. Barnard and Mr. Titman performing a similar part for our hero. The old lady-was with difficulty prevented from indulging in her desire to sit in the gallery that she might more oomprehensively view the scene of the ceremo- ny, and the washerwoman of Mr. Wagbull's es- tablishment, with whom the bride was a great favorite, was led out of the church in tears by Brunswick and the coachman ere the ceremony was finished. To be tremblingly alive to gentle impressions and yet to be able to preserve, when the prose- cution of a design requires it, an immovable heart amidst even the most imperious causes of soul-subduing emotion, is perhaps not an impossi- ble constitution of mind; but it is the utmost and rarest endowment of humanity. Miss Stacy saw the ceremony froin the neighborhood of the organ, and retired from the edifice with the de- termination to immediately pursue the .Cuban gentleman with unrelenting vigor. In the evening a merry party sat down to the wedding-dinner in the new house. The great cook bad surveyed the tasteful arrangements of the table from a distance, and, deeply affected, had pronounced it satisfactory, and authorized the introduction of the guests. It is difficult to say who was the life of the occasion, as every one seemed inspired with the idea that he or she .was, and endeavored to sustain the reputation by their best efforts. Mr. Toplady was unusually brilliant. Ile had learned in the parlor, as the bride surveyed her presents, from the whispering lips of the gratified Bessie herself, who had re- served the important information as the best re- turn she could make to her uncle, that "Miss De Pompenkops was on her return from Europe." In the words of the illustrious Jenkins we may say that the occasion generally sparkled with the wit and intelligence of the ilite of the intellectual cand social circles of the metropolis, History was represented by the joyful presence of Mr. Lamp-, son of Westchester, with his lady, the latter hav- ing added to the numerous bridal presents, as their testimonial of friendship, a copy of her hus- band's recently published and valuable work on Simkinson, splendidly bound in Bagsterian style. Great were the hopes which that lady expressed at the final dabet of this great effort of her hus- band's historical genius. The labors and anxiety of its preparation were now over. The fears of its proof-sheets being stolen during the progress of its printing by the wretched Numhead and other envious creatures were past. Immense excitement was already noticeable in the histori- cal world, and three copies had already been dis- posed of. The faithful wife thoroughly captivated the affections of Bessie's grandparent, and made indefinite promises in reply to the latter's persist- ent demands that she should thenceforth spend a week at the Wagbull mansion every fortnight,' accompanied by her little boys. Dr. Tinker came out during the dinner in learned force upon vari- ous metaphysical subjects, all his professional de-' sires to mingle a little instruction with the amuse- ment being warmed by the occasion. Mr. Wag- bull made an extremely appropriate and affecting speech in reply to the general toast to his health, in which he endeavored to show that he had not given away a daughter, but had been favored by Providence with a noble young gentleman for a son ; a view of the matter, which the old lady seemed still somewhat doubtful about and dis- posed to refute by momentarily returning to first principles in her conduct toward our hero. In conclusion, Mr. Wagbull proposed the health of his old friend and pastor, Dr. Tinker, and alluded to the latter's high intellectual qualities and ex- treme virtues so eloquently, that the object of his encomium cried " Hear ! hear!" in forgetful enthu- siasm, and then replied in a manner which affect- ed all present-the more interested by the depth of'his remarks, the less so, by their length. And then there were toasts to every one present, and to the bride and bridegroom once more, at the conclusion of which, Dr. Tinker, Mr. Toplady, Mr. Titman, and other gentlemen present, at the instigation and signal of Mr. Barnard, gave three astonishing cheers in their honor. The domestics of Mr. Wagbull's establishment, and of the new one, together with a special deputation feom the colored church of Shiloh, comprising the principal members of its committee on music, were intro- duced by Brunswick from the precincts below. An epithalamium improvised by the head darkey of the committee,swho was also an assistant in the kitchen, was then sung by the tuneful band, and with many wishes of future happiness to the new couple, the party again retired below, to be substantially rewarded, and to enjoy the evening after their own fashion. Toward the hour of eleven, the musical committee, leaving the man- sion by the area-gate, gave six terrific cheers in the back-yard, startling several of the neighbors into the belief that a prominent politician had moved into the neighborhood. They then retired quietly to their respective homes. About the same period, the more staid of the guests above, had concluded that the hour for departure had arrived, especially as Mr. Lampson, the historical genius, had disappeared beneath the table, and Mr. Toplady and two country relatives of Mr. Winikfield had fallen fast asleep. Without car-, rying into effect the somewhat-eccentric proposi- tion of Mr. Barnard to the other gentlemen, that they should retire to the billiard-room, extinguish the lights, and try the efficacy of an unrestrained personal combat to dissipate the effects of the wine, the whole party retired from the newly- founded home, leaving the happy bride and bride- groom, with tears and embraces by the relatives, and renewed wishes of perpetual joy and content- ment from the others. Mr. Wagbull conducted to his home for the night such guests as lived at a distance or felt so, including the illustrious his- torical scholar and his wife, the society of Mr. Lampson having become especially interesting to him from the secret political information with which he had been intrusted in convivial mo- ments by that gentleman, to the effect that so im- portant had become his official relations and per- sonal friendship with the collector of the port, that the great functionary had made him a prom- ise to resign in his favor. We wish, indeed, that the filial misgivings of Brunswick upon the marriage of his step-mother with the divinity-student might have been invali- dated by the result. But it was not so. The couple had been united scarcely six months, when the. faithless swain, possessing himself of his wife's small change and various portable articles of the household, including the parlor-copy of the Bible and Byron, eloped with a young sister of Shiloh, whose tender, inexperienced years ren- dered his dastardly conduct still more reprehen- sible. As the principal part of his wife's con- vertible funds had been, with perhaps prophetic judgment, concealed beneath the nest of a cer- tain perpetually-setting old hen, whose pugna. cious disposition and chronic barrenness led him to avoid the spot in his oval depredations, he for- tunately was unable wholly to tiespoil the desert- ed woman. He left a delicately-scented note, in heroic verse, in which he feelingly alluded, after the approved style of poets in similar difficulties, to certairgdestinies which compelled his perma- nent withdrawal from her society, and endeavored to explain the embezzlement of her property, by delicately insinuating that it was done for the hum aA and Christian purpose of chastening a slight ropensity to avarice which he had ob- served in her. Several friends of the bereaved woman kindly consented to come and sit with' her, and to console her in her deep affliction, particularly at meals, and at other moments when his absence would most likely be felt by her. Such was the pertinacity of their friend- ship, that although she at last felt forced todrive- them from her house, with the observation that she needed their consolation as little as she did their company, it only seemed to increase their Christian efforts, and they came back in greater -force than ever. The political downfall of Judge Pootoops was complete. He was never able to recover the high standing in the ranks of the party of his ward, of which his bolting had deprived him. His former adherents were the very first to sum- mariLy eject him from its meetings the moment he mnade his appearance at the door thereof. Thcre was one, however, who still stuck by him in adversity, and wvho dared, on such occasions, those ungrateful time-servers to mortal combat- his faithful admirer and former constable, Tim- kins. Observing that it was useless to try for page: 160-161[View Page 160-161] MR. WINKFIELD. office again, the latter energetically established a feed-store, of which the kindling-wood depart- ment was intrusted to the ex-judge. Timkins found some difficulty in accustoming the lofty spirit of the statesman to his new duties, and frequently was obliged to tie him to the scene of his labors. His mind would still turn back with irrepressible force to his old political contests. Imaginary scenes of political activity, drawn from the composite elements of his experience, occupied his retirement. Numerous plots and masterly schemes of diplomatic subterfuge were invented by him in the leisure of his arm-chair in the wood-shed. Indeed, parties were formed, dissolved, and reconstructed, administrations overthrown, policies changed, and the foundations of state even shaken to their centre, by the fer- tile imagination of this inveterate lover of poli- tics, and it is quite possible that the hope of some grand movement to call him from his retirement, and put his schemes into practice, either in the municipal or national part of the government, never left his bosom. Until that moment should arrive, he was content to be his own party, and tb issuemanifestoes, promulgate orders and make speeches to himself, and to appoint himself on the various committees which the minute of his plans suggested as necessary. Frequently, how- ever, in the oratorical part of his proceedings, he obtained the presence of-four boys and three little girls, from their sports in the neighborhood, and, on these occasions, they might be observed, in solemn silence and awe, arranged in order upon a bench in the wood-shed, with their* legs dangling therefrom, while the energetic Cato pro- ceeded in front of them to hurl defiance at the leaders of the opposition, or call down the anathe- mas of heaven upon the pernicious practices of the factionists of his own party. Shortly after his union with Miss Wagbull, Moses was returning through Brooklyn with Mr. Titman from a professional examination, by the latter, of the Greenwood gate, when he became the accidental witness of a surprising but ex- tremely interesting sight, as they drove through the street in which that respectable but weak member of society, Mr. Tomlins, resided. The door of the Tomlins mansion was open, and mov- ing therefrom toward the corner of the street was a crowd of men and boys following, in an evident state of extreme ecstasy and delight, the desired father-in-law of Mr. Bunter, who was intently engaged in kicking the Rev. Mr. Hunkey- fell along the pavement, upon which that pious .gentleman was endeavoring to make as rapid progress as possible. At every application of Mr. Tomlins's foot loud were the outcries of delight by the increasing crowd, .but such was the in-- tensity of his feelings, and so thoroughly absorbed was he in the accomplishment of his work, that they were entirely unnoticed by him, and it was not until he was physically exhausted that he ceased and walked back in semi-appeased excitement to the house, T~he presumption founded upon this scene by Moses was the eminently satisfactory one, that - at last the unprincipled hypocrite's machinations were discovered and visited with condign vengeance by his finally awakened victim. Moses felt an almost irresistible desire to inquire how this had been brought about, but he con- cluded it would be advisable, from the inflamed countenance of the aroused Mr. Tomlins, and from Mr. Titman's ignorance of his own connec- tion with the matter, to postpone its gratifica- tion. He soon afterward, -however, received a note from the worthy Mr. Tomlins, in which the latter, after frankly thanking our hero for his endeavors to expose the wiles of the hypocrite to him, and expressing his penitence for the ill manner in which he had appreciated those en- deavors, stated that he himself had at last dis- covered the impious rascality and true objects of his favorite, and felt that he could not re- cover his self-respect until he had visited the latter with personal indignity, which he had taken occasion to administer on the last visit of the unsuspecting rascal at his house; that he had, in partial atonement for his own prejudiced conduct and in justice to his daughter and the excellent young man to whom she was at- tached, consented to a quiet and private mar- riage, and that they were already upon their wedding-tour; that they had entreated him, ere they went, to write to Mr. Winkfield informing him of the nature of these events and their hap- py issue, and that upon their return, which they would promptly acquaint him with, they hoped to renew the friendship which would never have been interrupted but from the unscrupulous cun- ning of the rascal aforesaid. 'Moses, a year or two subsequently, learned through his friend Mr. Bunter, that the reverend gentleman had induced an old lady of weak mind to send him as missionary to Africa, and that, after a short stay in the field of his proposed labors, he had for some private reason absconded into the interior, where he was. frequently heard of by ships trading upon the coast, as having become the head prince of A great tribe, and as doing a heavy business in ivory, slaves, and jaun- dice resulting from sixty-three attacks of the jungle-fever. The governor of his palace, Prince Lommiderio, at one period undertook to revolt, seizing an occasion when the chief was supposed to have been hunting ground-nuts with his retinue in one of his remote provinces. The wily chief, who had purposely secreted himself in his ele- phant pasture, suddenly returned, extracted the front-teeth of the rebel with his fist, and order- ing a wild, untamed ostrich to be brought forth, tied the criminal upon its back,-and set fire to the bird's tail. The unhappy Lommiderio may have perished in, the desert, but it is more prob- able that he was pecked to death by the frenzied bird in its wild endeavors to extinguish the con- flagration. We now bid our readers farewell. T 160 I I I'l
