My thirty years out of the Senate
page: 0Illustration (Illustration) [View Page 0Illustration (Illustration) ] page: 0 (TitlePage) [View Page 0 (TitlePage) ] THIRTY YEARS OUT OF THE SENATE. BY MAJOR JACK DOWNING. pwd. 112 AND 114 WILLIAM STREET ILLUTSTRATED WITH SIXTY-FOUR ORIGINAL AND CHARACTERISTIC ENGRAVINGS ON WOOD. page: 0[View Page 0] Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the Clerk's office of the District Court of the Southern District -of New-York, by SEBA SMTH. OAZ8MTII & CO. WEEKS & CO. Printers and Stereotypers. Binders. Daily Courier, published in Portland, Maine. This paper had just been started by the author, and was the first daily paper, pubished in the country north or east of Boston. The Courier was started as an; independent paper, devoted to no political party--a position for a paper inthose days likely to command but small support. The Maine Legislature met in Portland on the first of January, and the two political parties were so evenly balanced, and partizan feeling ran so high, that it was six weeks before they got' fairly or- ganized and proceeded with the business of legislation. The political papers were hot and furious, and there was no small excitement throughout the State, which even spread in a considerable degree to other portions of the country. At this juncture of affairs, the author of these papers, wishing to. show the ridiculous position of the legislature in its true light, and also, by something out of the common track of newspaper writing, to give increased interest and popularity to his little daily paper, bethought himself of the plan to bring a green, unsophisticated lad from the country into town with a iload of axe. handles, hoop poles, and other notions, for sale, and while waiting the move- ments of a dull market, let him blunder into the halls of the legislaturei and after witnessing for some days their strange doings, sit down and write an account of them to his friends at home in his own plain language. The plan was successful almost beyond parallel. The first letter made so strong a mark that others had to follow as a matter of course. The whole town read them and laughed; the politicians themselves read them, and their wrathful, i P'--. page: 6-7 (Table of Contents) [View Page 6-7 (Table of Contents) ] g6 --PREFACE. fire-eating visages relaxed to a broad grin. The Boston papers copied them, and all Boston tittered over them. The series was inaugurated and must go on. The letters continued from time to time, and spread over the whole country, and were universally read. The name of Downing was entirely original with the author, who had never heard or seen the name before, and did not then even know that there was a Downing street in London, or an oyster dealer by that name in New York. la a year or two the letters became national in their character, and young Mr. Downing repaired to Washington, where he became the right hand man and confidential adviser of President Jackson. The author continued the letters in the Portland Courier for seven years, when he sold that paper and removed to New York. After an interval of a few years he resumed the series again, publishing the letters in the National Intelligencer at Washing- ton, and continuingthem till near the close of the administration of President Pierce. Thus these papers, begun and continued partly for emolument, partly for amusement, and partly from a desire to exert a salutary influence- upon pub- lic affairs and the politics of the country, have grown up to their present con- dition. In presenting them in this collected form, with original illustrations, to render them more attractive, the author could not let them go out into the world to make new acquaintances, and possibly down to posterity to help furnish political lessons to "( Youno America ' for generationrs yet to come, without a careful retrospection to consider their whole moral and political character and influence. For should they contain '"One line which, dying, he could wish to blot," he, would certainly wish to blot it now. But, believing the work will be harmless, and, he hopes, salutary, he leaves it to his countrymen, praying for Heaven'l blessing on our whole common country. SEBA SMTH. NEw YoRK, February, 1859. CO NTENTS . PUBLISHER'S PREFACE, '. PA.10 MAJOR DOTwNIN'S SETCH 'P HS EABLY LIFE, ' ' * . 140 LETTERS AND "DOCKYMENTS." I1. HS FIRST VISIT TO PORTLAND, . . . 2. HE VISITS THE LEGISLATURE, .. 36 3. UNCLE JOSHUA GOES TO BOSTON, . . 46 4. COUSIN NABBY WRITES TO MR. DOWNING, ' ' 46 5. A DREADFUL SNAL IN THE MAINE LGISLATRE * 6 - G. BOTu LEGISLATERS SPLIT RIGHT IN TU," . 63 7. AFFAIRS TAKE A MORE PAVORABLE TURN . 8. MRS. DOWNING URGES HM TO COME OME, 69 9. TiE WHEELS OF GOVERNENT RTIGGFED, . . . . . 10. THE LEGISLATURE "RIPPING UP THEIR DUINs," . .1 ". "QUEER DUINS"'IIT THE $SENAE, 7 12. SETTING UP A CANDIDATE' FO OFFICE, '. . ' , . ^ 78 13. THE LEGISLATURE AND ELDER HALL GO HO , . 824 ". MB. DOWNING TALKED OF FOR GOVERNORQB . . . 86 15. UNCLE JOSHUA'S GRREAT. SXILL IN POLITICS . . . 86 16. GIVEt AN' OPINION ABOUT NEWSPAPERS, . 88 DOCKYMENTr-GRAND CAUCUS o AT DowNNGVILLE, . . . 17. TLAND 'OWN- Na TI-How THBn' VOTES STOOD, . 18. HOW THE VOTES STOOD IN DOWINGI E . . . 10 19. MR. DOWING DETERMiSES TO GO TO WASHNGTON, . 105 20. TALKS WITH THEt-BOSTON EDITORS ON HS WAY, . . . 109 21. INTERIEW WITH MAJOR NOAH AT NEW-YORK. . 113 22. mR. DOWNING S HREOIC DEFNSE OF MR.- INGAH , . 119 23. RECEIVES A CAPTAIN S CO mVISION FROX THE PRESIDENT, 127 24. DRAFTING THE MLITIA IN DOWNINGILLE, 4... , 25. Hs FIRST IIAy REPOR 1 * 26. HOW TEIE GISLATRS SWALLOWED TH HE bALING ACTr " . 2 27. OPPOSES THE SALE OF MADAWAA TO HE - BRITiH, 19 28. A CONFIDENTIALTALK WITH THE PRESIDENT, . . 164 29. RUNs AN EXPRESS. FROM BALTIMORE TO ASHNGTON. . 16 30. REEIVES A MAJOR'S COMMISSION TO rUT DOWN THE NUL LIFIERS, , 31. THE PRESIDENT'S PRtOCLAATi0'N AIND TE FEDEMAL13IST . 1" 32. THE DoWNINGVILLEMLTiA ARRIVE AT VASNWGTON . 180 33. THE EFFECTS OF NULLIFICATION ILLUSTRA;TED '. . 183 34. POITI0S IN MAINE-POLITICAL PBOMSES, . . . , . l83 35. LISTENING Fo NULLIFICATION GUNS IN SOUTII CAROLINA, . . 91 page: 8 (Table of Contents) -9[View Page 8 (Table of Contents) -9] 8 CONTFNTS. 36. THE SIENC OF LAND SPECULATION BLUOIDATED, . . . . 192 37. MN C CLAY PUTS A STOPPRB ON NULLIFICAION, .. . . 194 38- WalM' OL:D HCaxoaY SOGULD SHAwW HANDS WITH THE FEDFBALISTSt 207 39.- Ttai PaESIDENT ASAiLT ED. BY LIEuT. RADOLPH, .200 40. T-mB DMAaJo- SAKIS HANDS -FOR TBa PaSSIaNT, . . 205 ". NArnow ESCAPE AT CASTLE GADEw BRIDGE, . . 28 42. T^-PRBSIDENTIAL PARTY VISIT BOSTON, . .212 -43'. THEY " 4N A SHORT (tCN AkT CoNCOI&D . 'R.,... . 212.H 4, GRBiAT TFS IN DOWNINGVIL- BECAUSE THE PRPIDENT DIDN'T COME, 216 DOC!CKV J[NqP--JTHn, MAJOR NOMNATED FOa PRaslnlx, . . 220 45, MAKING OLD HCKORY A DoCTOR' Or LAWS. . 221 ". QOu^AELIi 'wltMTHE MTAJOl A MR. VAN BUR2N, 22 . 5 47. -oW 'Ian OLD DxOooaas AE Pwr ovER ON THE FEDERAL SIDE, - 232 48. -ABO Sa AxNb DANIEL WLmBSb, . . . . . 234 49 1)ANIE;- - AND IS AND OLD oSORY,^'. O. . . . 238 560 Tain oA RVENVP^TS, A BOBBERY IN THEM SNATE CHABR, . 242 i ^MET-A GAP W HSTORY, B1- TPPOLK TRAVELS -WITt THE MAJOR, . . , !MDN f'lyK--FaOM EB NATIONAL- .TE LLGEKC,-. . .254 52. - i:%ESIDET ANDTTHE -MAJOR IN THE STATS OF MAIN, 2. 255 63. MBI. TaME S-E PET TMETH^: - FI DE . 260 ]*%OiDKY ,eiZtlqPL MiMr. RITCHiE/'S COUNTERBLAST, . 267 54. -THEMAJOr roas- or ON MR. RIT-CIE's WOerDS, . 260 566. TE MAJOR'S FIRST Di)sPISPATCHES FBRO3 MxBCO, . . 2" ". TBL MPSJo@s -XATION DREAM IN {M}ICO, . . . . .278 57.] PTIVAE -;DAiPATd AND GOOD ADVICE TO TO TE PRESIDENT 286 658 T-TkMAJOr'S 'ITERVIEW- WrrH GENERAL- SCOTT AND MR. TIST, . 290 298 659. GaER SdO Co d bNARTAITALED IN Mo, . 298 -DO0ClY^f4MNr---BATTLE IN THE COUBTMAIBI , . .. 30 305 60; AC: E OB -THEi PRESIDENCY'-OLD ZAXOS A 'AD, . . . 309 1 ^; --:]W-iTSimo BY - TELEfRAPH, -TI TiDm TUNS F OLD 62. . HCO^Ue DAViATIONV I OF- SALT BlVER, * * * 31 63 -']IlNl ADVIC 'TO MR.:RITCHE, . ', . . . * 321 6 i4- THi Hit- FENcsi ON- MASO N AND D s LINE, . . . 65* A.5- P/A'B:ILY TALK ABOIUT POLITIPXAL PARTSIE, . 3 "., TH! Nlw, DOWNINiGVILLE POLITICAL PLATFORM, . . . 67-. -FiiEnDLY EPISTLE TO GOVERNOR KOSUTs .. . . . 349 68. GG'i' CoNOENTION ]N OWNNGVLLE'. . ' .. . 8B 69. ADJ4OIND METING GREAT SPEtEHES, . . . , 5 '0j TEit-.GREAT PRESIDENTIAL T[UC AT BALTImO, . . . 376 -'l 7.:D- i^NlOILL' RiTiFIClTIO- TORCHLGHT PBOCESSION, 72. fiSiaftOt. JOEiL HUgAgAi FOB GEN. SCOTT, .. . . 391 73. PIERCE ELeCMT JOL?TURNS mIS TUNE, ... * '74. PiAT 'AlDVICE TO THE NEW PRESIDENT.) . . 401 76.' 413 75. TfB XJBA4s V IaIXtTO T FISHNg SMACBS, ;/ . . . a . @ * 404 76 YHE tj-OW-S MSSION TO- EUROPE, . -; . . . - * 41 3 77 C:NtE ATST , SOULE, SIC ES -AND SAUD . * ' .41 '8$. ' gSaw40 0S ' TWO PoL*xs SCX aO D ItNA, . CUB. . 26 r79. Ta. o PB 6 0PLLIES/ BOMBAIN TEE MOO, . . 43647 80;, :TE Two POLIES AT 'AcHORI . " . . . . . 457 81, A POSTSRIPT, ; . . ..* ..* . . ' 7 r , , ; PUBLISH NRS PREFACE - IT has been asserted, upon no less authority than the immortal Sam Patch, , that some things can be done as well as others."2 The veteran politician, Colonel Thomas H. Benton, has given to his countrymen a comprehensive and ;:- very valuable work entitled: "THrTY YEARSIN THE UNUTED STiTESi SENATE; Or, A -History of the Working of the American Government for Thirty Years," &c. Now, that other veteran politician, Major Jack Downing, who declares pos- itively that there is an outside as well as an inside to everything, has prepared to lay before his countrymen his comprehensive and valuable work -entitled:- THIRTY YEARS ' OUT' OF THE UNITED STATES SENATE; Or, A- History of the Working of American Politicians for Thirty Years,". &c. Major Downing has been publishing this work for a couple of years in Emerson's Magazine and Putnam's Monthly; because, as he said, the work itself being of a strictly national character, he felt bound to select theimost elevated- and respectable channel for communicating 'it to the'public. In. commencing the preparation of-his "Thirty Years" for pubicatio-n, the Major- said he would go clear back-to his childhood, and give some account of his "ancestral posterity-" so far back as his old grandfather, fMr. Zebe- dee Downing, one of the early pioneers into the primeval;" ,forests of Down East." He didn't know as he should make his work quite as long, aS -,Mr. Benton's two great big " vollums," but he-would try to make it quite asin- teresting. He said he shouldn't interfere or -encroach at all on Colonei6 Ben- ton's ground. The Colonel's work was to show the working of the American Government for thirty years, and his work was to show the working of Amere. lcan politicians for thirty years. And, besides, the Colbnel's stand-point was insi& the Senate, and his stand-point was outsi the Senate. So he didn't see as they ever need to clash, for in- the workings of governments and politi- cians the last thing in the world to be -apprehended was a clash bet;eene, the ins and the outs. Finally, we have made a satiactory arrangement with the Major to pro" duce his great work, his Thirty Years out of the Senate. It contains the,- whole batch of the Major's Letters and other " dockyments," from the year page: 10-11[View Page 10-11] 10 PUBLISHERS) PREFACE. 1830, when he first struck out into public life, up to the present time. It will show the workings of politicians in the State of Maine in 1830, when "the wheels of Government got trig'd," and they had " such a tussle to get 'em agoing." It will then show how Mr. Downing went to Washington, and became "Gineral Jackson's right hand man;" and how he helped the old Gin- eral through with his fight against "a Biddle's Bank," and how he settled the Madawaska Boundary difficulty, and how he put down and crushed out South Carolina Nullification. These letters and " dockyments" will show the workings of Politicians during the Mexican War, and how the Major helped President Polk along through those troublesome times; and how he and Mr. Trist went to Mexico, and held General Scott and General Taylor in check, and wouldn't let them run away with President Polk's thunder. They will show, also, how General Scott was nt elected President, and how General Pierce was. -They will describe the hard tug there was at Baltimore to get -General Pierce nominated, and how at last the nomination was ratified at Downingville, and so secured his election, They will show how the Major and Mr. Buchanan and Mr. Souley got up that Ostend Convention, and laid the plan and made the agreement to " take Cuba if we have the power;" and how the Major fitted out a naval expedition in the schooner Two Pollies, and cruised about several months to effect that object. In short, the letters and other " dockyments" will show more things than you can shake a stick at, and of course more than can be alluded to here. But besides the valuable political and historical information, interesting to the old and instructive to the young, that will be found embodied in this great work of Major Downing, there is another important reason why it should be given to the public, and why the publishers take pride and pleasure in presenting the work in a dress and- with embellishments worthy of the sub- ject-and that is, the universally admitted fact, that the writings of the gen- uine original Major Downing present the best and truest exposition of the peculiar Yankee dialect of the Anglo-Saxon language that there is extant. It may not be amiss to quote a few authorities in support of this opinion. A portion of the earlier part of this series of letters was published more than twenty years ago in a small volume in Boston, by Lilly, Waite & Co. On that occasion the late Major Noah, for many years known as an able and leading journalist in New-York, spoke of the book as follows, in his Evening Star: "The Letters, which have obtained a circulation and celebrity more ex- tended, perhaps, than any production that ever issued from the American press, are written with all the quaint simplicity of the style of Fielding, and abound in passages of infinite drollery and exquisite humor." Robert Walsh, at that time, and for many years previous, editor of, the PUBLISHERS' PREFACE. " National Gazette, at Philadelphia, certainly one of the ablest journalists our country has produced, and the first American writer who compelled the English critics to respect American criticism, made the following remarks in his Gazette, in which he alludes to imitators who had unjustifiably adopted the Major's signature in writing in the newspapers: "It basbeen the fate of all successful authors to have counterfeits, who deal with their originals, as Hamlet says that some players imitate nature. The Rabelais, the Swifts, the Voltairs, suffered in their day by the produc- tions of interlopers of the sort. Mere bunglers attempted to personate them, and confounded the less discriminating or critical part of the reading public. Major Jack Downing has paid in like manner the penalty of genius and popu- larity; and he has complained of the hardship and injustice in a character- istic vein. We humbly advise him to write over the whole story of President Jackson's late expedition. It might confidently be predicted that a full nar- rative from his pen, duly authenticated, would obtain as much vogue in these United States as did Peter Plymley's Letters in Great Britain." The old New York Mirr6r, March 23, 1839, speaking of some of the writings of Major Downing, said: "These are the most graphic and really the best Yankee papers we have ever seen, or ever expect to see, let who will write them." The New York Courier and Enquirer, July 3, 1839, in speaking of the writings of the Major, used the following language: "There is no doubt that the author is the best painter of Yankeepeculiarities that ever wrote. He is true to nature and never caricatures, but without cari- caturing is most amusing." sThe same paper, February 27, 1844, referring to Major Downing's Letters, said : "Those letters were written in the true and genuine spirit of Yankeedom, and were clothed in the real vernacular of the land. Some of -them deserve a much higher and more lasting reputation than seems to have awaited them; though we are very much mistaken if they do not hereafter take the place they so eminently merit. They ought to be considered standard exhibitions of New England peculiarities of style, feeling and sentiment at the time, and be cherished as authentic mementoes of the pilgrim opinions and pilgrim dialects of the generation in which they appeared." The same leading New York journal, July 16, 1845, again referring to the author of these letters, said: He is, in point of fact, the only writer who has ever been entirely puc- cessful in the genuine dialect of Yankee land." ( page: 12-13[View Page 12-13] 12 PUBLISHERS' PREFACE. It becomes therefore, a matter of general, interest in the history of the literature of the country, as well as of its politics and " the workings of politicians," that these papers should be preserved in an authentic form and attractive dress, corresponding ifsome degree with their intrinsic merits. To accomplish this important object the publishers have determined to spare no pains in their power to bestow. The Major's heart is very much given to the work, and he will superintend the management of the whole business, ' picters" and all. For that purpose he has determined to let the "Two Pollies" lay off and on, or make short cruises under the command of Captain Jumper and Sargent Joel, while he devotes himself to the preparation of his "Thirty Years' View'" for the press. We should explain what some of our readers, perhaps, may not recollect, that Sargent Joel Downing has command of the military force on board of the Two Pollies, consisting mainly of the Downingville militia, who were embarked on board in 1855, for the purpose of taking Cuba. The Major will not allow them to be disbanded or return to Downingville, for he says there is no knowing but what Mr. Buchanan may want their services before he gets through his Administration ; and he never did leave a friend in the lurch yet, and, therefore, he shan't turn his back on Mr. Buchanan. With these preliminary remarks and explanations, we will let the Major go straight ahead and tell his own story in his own way. SKETCH OF MY EARLY LIFE. IN WHCH I TELL CONSIDERABLE MORE ABOUT MY GRANDFATHER THAN I DO ABOUT MYSELF. WHEN we read about great men, we always want to know something about the place where they live ; therefore I shall begin my history with a short account of Downingville, the place where I was born and brought up. Downingville is a snug, tidy sort of a village, situated in a valley about two miles long, and a mile and a half wide, scooped out between two largel rugged hills that lie to the east and west, having a thick forest of trees to the north, and a clear pond of water, with a sandy beach, to the south. It is about three miles from the main road, as you go back into the country, and is jest about in the middle of Down East. It contains by this time a pretty considerable number of inhab- itants, though my grandfather Downing was the first person that settled there, jest after he got back from sogering in the Revolutionary war. It has a school-house and a tavern, and a minister, and a doctor, and a blacksmith, and a shoe-maker, and folks that work at most all sorts of trades. They haven't got any meeting house up yet, but the school-house'is pretty large, and does very well to hold meetins in, and they have page: 14-15[View Page 14-15] " MY THRrY YEARS meetins very regular every Sunday-the. men filling up all the seats on one side of the school-house and the women on the other. They haven't got any lawyer in Downingville. 'There was ohe come once and sot out to settle there, and hired a room and put a sign up over the door with his name on it, and the word " office" in great large letters, so big you could read 'em clear across the road. A meeting of the. inhabitants was called at the school-house the next day, and after chawing the matter over awhile it was unanimously agreed if the man wanted an office he should go somewhere else for it, for as for having an office-seeker in Downingville they never would. So they voted that he should leave the town in twenty-four hours, or they would take him down to the pond and duck him, and ride him out of town on a rail. A committee of twenty of the stoutest men in Downingville was appointed to carry the message to him, at which he prudently took the hint, and packed up and cleared out that afternoon. All the quarrels, and disputes and law-cases are always left out to Uncle Joshua Downing, and he settles them all, by and large, at two shillings-a piece, except when they have - come to blows, and then he charges two and sixpence a piece. As I said afore, my grandfather, old Mr. Zebedee Downing, was the first settler in Downingville. Bless his old heart, he's living yet [1834], and, although he is eighty-six years old, he attended a public caucus for the good of his country about two years ago, and made a speech, when I was nomi- nated for Governor of the State of Maine. As it is the fashion, in writing the lives of great folks, to go back and tell something about their posterity, I spose I OUT OF THE SENATE. 15 ought to give some account of my good old grandfather, for he was a true patriot, and as strong a republican as ever Uncle Joshua was. He was born somewhere in the old Bay State, away back of Boston, and when the Revolutionary war come on he went a sogering. Many and many a time, when I was a little boy, I've sot in the corner till most midnight to hear him tell over his going through the fatigue of Burgwinle. If one of the neighbors came in to chat awhile in an evening, my grandfather was always sure to go through the fatigue-of Burgwine; and if a stranger was traveling through Downing- ville and stopped at my grandfather's in a warm afternoon to sI get a glass of water, it was ten chances to one if he could get away till my grandfather'had been through the whole story of the fatigue of Burgwine. He used to tell it the best to old Mr. Johnson, who used to come in regularly about once a week to spend an evening and drink a mug of my grand- father's cider. And he would set so patiently and hear my grandfather through from beginning to end, that I never could tell which took the most comfort, Mr. Johnson in drink- ing the cider, or my grandfather in going through the fatigue of Burgwine. After Mr. Johnson had taken about two or three drinks, he would smack his lips and say, "I guess, Mr. Downing, you would have been glad to get such a mug of cider as this in the battle of Burgwine." "Why, yes," said my grandfather, " or when we was on the march from Cambridge to Peekskill either, or from Peekskill to Albany, or from Albany to Saratogue, where we went through the fatigue of Burgwine. Old Schuyler was our gin- eral," said my grandfather, bracing himself back in his chair, "and he turned out to be a traitor, and was sent for to go to page: 16-17[View Page 16-17] MY THRTY YEARS Gineral Washington to be court-martialed. Then Gineral ,Gates was sent to us to take command, and he was a most capital officer, every inch of him. He had his cocked hat on, and his regimentals, and his furbelows on his shoulders, and he looked nobly," said my grandfather. "I can see him now, as plain as if 'twas yesterday. He wore a plaguey great stub cue, as big as my wrist, sticking-out at the back of his neck as straight as a handspike. Well, when Gates came we were all reviewed, and everything was put in complete order, and he led us on, ye see, to take Burgwine. By daylight in the morning we were called out by the sound of the drum, and drawn up in regiments, and the word was, 'on your posts, march.' And there we stood, marching on our posts without moving forward an inch ; heads up, looking to the right. We didn't dare to move an eye, or hardly to wink. "By and by along comes the old Gineral to inspect us, riding along so stately, and that old stub cue sticking out behind his head so straight, it seems as though I can see him now, right here before me. And then he addressed us, like a father talk- ing to his children. 'Fellow soldiers,' says he, 'this day we are going to try the strength of Burgwine's forces. Now let every man keep a stiff upper lip, go forward boldly and at- tack them with courage, and you've nothing to fear.' O, he addressed us completely; and then we marched off to meet the inemy. By and by we begun to hear the balls whizzing over our heads, and the inemy's guns begun to roar like thun- der. I felt terribly for a minute or two, but we kept marcLh- ing up, marching up," said my grandfather, rising and march- ing across the floor, "for we had orders not to fire a gun till we got up so near we could almost reach them with our bag- OUT OF THE SENATE. 1^ "H onuts; and there was a hundred drums all in a bunch, rattling enough to craze a nation, and the fifes and the bugles," con- tinued my grandfather, still marching across the floor, " went tudle, tudle, tudle, tudle. O, I can hear that very tune ring- ing in my ears now as plain as if 'twas yesterday, and I never shall forget it to my dying day. When we got up so near the inemy that we could fairly see the white of their eyes, the word was 'halt,"' said my grandfather, suddenly ,sI THE FATIGUE OF BURGWINE. 1* page: 18-19[View Page 18-19] 18 MY THRTY YEARS halting in the middle of the floor, and sticking his head back as straight as a soldier, "'make ready;' twas did in a mo- ment," continued my grandfather, throwing his staff up against his shoulder; " 'take aim;' 'twas did in a moment," fetching his staff down straight before his eyes; "' firel' then, O marcy, what a roarl" said my grandfather, striking his staff down upon the floor, "and such a smother and smoke you couldn't hardly see your hand afore you. Well, in an instant the word was, 'prime and load,' and as fast as we fired we fell back in the rear to let others come up and take their turn; so by the time we were loaded we were in front and ready to fire again, for we kept marching all the time," said my grand- father, beginning to march again across the floor. "But the inemy stood their ground, and kept pouring in upon us tre- mendously, and we kept marching up and firing, marching up and firing, but didn't gain forward an inch. I felt streaked enough, for the balls were whistling over our heads, and sometimes a man would drop down on one side of me, and sometimes on tother; but it wouldn't do for us to flinch a hair; we must march up and fire, and wheel to the right and left, and keep it going. By and by the word was,' advance' column,' then, heavens and earth, how light I felt," said my, grandfather, quickening his march across the floor. "I knew in a moment the inemy was retreating, and it seemed to me I could have jumped over the moon. Well, we marched for- ward, but still kept firing, and presently we begun to come on to the inemy's ground; and then, O marcy such a sight I never see before and never want to again--stepping over the dead bodies, and the poor wounded wretches wallowing in their blood, mangled all to pieces, and such screeches and OUT OF -THE SENATE. 19 groans, some crying out, ' don't kill me,' 'don't kill me,' and others begging us to kill 'em to put 'em out of misery. O, it was enough to melt the very heart of a stonel" said my grand- father, wiping the tears from his eyes. "But they needn't have been afraid of being hurt, for our Gineral was one of the best men that ever lived. He had the carts brought up immediately, and all the poor wounded souls carried off as fast as possible where they could be taken good care of. He wouldn't let one of'em be hurt any more than he would one of his own men. But it was a dreadful hot battle ; we fit and skirmished all the afternoon and took a good many prisoners, and some cannon and ammunition. When it came night the inemy retreated to their fortifications, and we camped all night on the ground with our guns in our hands, ready at a moment's warning to pitch battle again. As soon as it was daylight we were all mustered and paraded again, and round come the old Gineral to see how we looked. He held his head up like a soldier, and the old stub cue stuck out as straight as ever. I .can see it now as plain as I can see my staff," said my grandfather. "And O, my stars, how he addressed us ; it made our hearts jump to hear him. ' Fellow-soldiers' says he,4 this day we shall make Burgwine tremble. If you are only as brave as you were yesterday we shall have him and all his army before night.. But Burgwiae had slipped away in the night, and got into a place stronger fortified. But he couldn't get away 4 he was hemmed in all round; so we got him be- fore it was over. We were five or six days skirmishing about it; but I can't tell you all, nor a quarter part on't." "But how was it you took Burgwine at last?" said Mr. Johnson, taking another drink of cider. "O, he had to give page: 20-21[View Page 20-21] 2MY THRT YEARS it up at last," said my grandfather. "After we had skir- mished a day-or two longer, Gineral Gates sent word to Bur- gwine that if he had a mind to march his army back into Canada, and leave everything this side unmolested, he'd let hitn go peaceably. But Burgwine wouldn't accept it ; he sent word back that 'he was going to winter with his troops in Boston.' Well, after we had skirmished round two or three days longer, and Burgwine got into such close quarters that he couldn't get away any how, he sent word to Gineral Gates that he'd accept the offer and march back to Canada; but Gates sent word back to him again, ' You said you meant to winter in Boston, and I mean to make you as good as your word.' At last Burgwine see it was no use for him to hold out any longer, so he give all his men up prisoners of war. 'Then we were all paraded in lines a little ways apart to see them surrender. And they marched out, and marched along towards us; and it was a most noble sight to see them all ?dressed out in their regimentals and their bagonuts glisten- ing in the sun enough to dazzle anybody's eyes. And they marched along and stacked their arms, and marched through between our lines looking homesick enough. I guess we felt as well as they did, if our clothes wan't so good." Mr. Johnson handed me the mug and told me to run and get another mug of cider; for before my grandfather could get through the fatigue of Burgwine, Mr. Johnson would most always get to the bottom of the mug. When I brought in the second mug, Mr. Johnson took another sip and smacked his lips, and says he: "Mr. Downing, I should like to drink a toast with you; so here's health and prosperity to the apple trees of Downing- OUT OF T1E SENATE. 21 ville. Mr. Downing, what will you drink to us!" said he, handing the mug to my grandfather. "Why I don't keer about any cider," said my grandfather, (for he is a very temperate man, and so are all the Downings remarkably temperate,) " but I will jest drink a little to the memory of the greatest and the -bravest Giaeral that- this world ever see yet; so here's my respects to old Gineral Gates' stub cue." By this time, my grandfather having poured out of him the- whole fatigue of Burgwine, and Mr. Johnson having poured into him about three pints of cider, they would both of them feel pretty considerably relieved, and Mr. Johnson would bid us good night and go home. I take it that it was hearing these stories of my grand- father's bravery told over so often in my younger days, that 'made me such a military character as tot induce the President to appoint me to the command at Madawaska, and also to go to South Carolina to put down the Nullifiers. But I'm getting a little before my story, for I haven't got through with my grandfather yet, and my father comes before I do, too. As I said afore, my grandfather was the first settler in Downing- ville. When he got through sogering in the Revolutionary War, he took a notion he'd go and pick him out a good lot of land away Down East to settle on, where there was land enough to be had jest for whistling for it, and where his boys would have a chance to do something in the world. So he took grandmother and the two boys-for father and uncle Joshua were all the boys he had then, and packed them into a horse waggon, and took an axe, and a hoe, and a shovel, and some victuals, and a bed-tick to put some straw in, and a gun page: 22-23[View Page 22-23] 22 MY THRTY YEARS and some blankets and one thing another, and started off down East. He drove away into Maine till he got clear to the end of the road, and then he picked his way along through the woods and round the pond five miles further, till he got to the very spot where Downingville now is, and there he stopt and baited his horse, and while grandmother and the -boys sot down and took a bit of a luncheon, grandfather went away up top of one of the hills to take a view of the country. And when he come down again says he, "I guess we may as well ontackle, for I don't believe we shall find a better place if we travel all Summer." So he ontackled the old horse, and took the waggon- and turned it over- against a great oak tree, and put some bushes up around it, and made a pretty comfortable sort of a house for 'em to sleep jin a few nights,- and then he took his axe and slashed away among the trees. But that old oak never was cut down; it's the very same one that stands out a little ways in 'front of grandfather's house now. And poor grandmother as long as she lived always made a practice once a year, when the day come round that they first camped under the old oak, to have the table carried out and set under the tree; and all hands, children and grandchildren, had to go and eat supper there, and the good old lady always used to tell over the whole story how she slept eight nights under the waggon, and how they were the sweetest nights' rest she, ever had. Well, grandfather, he smashed away among the trees, and he soon had half a dozen acres of 'em sprawling, and while they were drying in the sun he went to work and built him a snug little log house, and made two stools to set on, one for himi- and one for grandmother, and a couple of blocks for the jj * -OUT OF THE SENATE. 23 GRANDMOTHER'S ANNUAL DINNER. boys. He made a stone fire-place in one corner of the house, and left a hole in one corner of the roof for the smoke to go out, and he got it all fixed as nice as a new pin, and then they moved into it; and I've heard grandmother say more than a hundred times that she believed she took more comfort in that log house than ever a queen took in a palace. When the leaves and the twigs of the trees that grand- father had cut down had got considerable dry in the sun, he went out one warm clear afternoon and sot fire to 'em. The wind was blowing a considerable of a'breeze from the south- i " * . / page: 24-25[View Page 24-25] 24 MY TTIRTY- YEAW S- ward, and the fire spread almost as fast as a norse could run. Grandmother used to say it was the grandest sight she ever see, to see them are six acres of trees all in a light flame at once, and the fire streaming up as high as the tallest pines, sometimes in a broad red sheet, and sometimes in narrow strips that went up rolling and bending like ten thousand fiery dragons' tongues. After the fire had gone through it, grandfather went to work to clear it up. He picked up the limbs and bits that were left, and threw 'em in heaps and sot fire to lem again, and he laid sticks across the large logs that were too heavy to move, and niggered them off with fire, and then rolled them up in piles and sot fire to 'em again and burnt 'em all up smack smooth. Then he went to work and planted the ground all over to corn, and potatoes, and pun- kins, and beans, and squashes-and round near the house he planted water-millions and mush-millions, and cowcumbers, and beats, and' carrots, and turnips; and grandmother carried out a whole apron full of seeds of all kinds of 'arbs that ever grew in old Massachusetts, and sowed 'em round, and they come up as thick as hops. After this, the family of old Mr. Zebedee Downing always lived like heroes and never knew what it was to be in want. They had ten children, and a smart, likely set of boys and gals they were too; and they all lived to grow up, and were all married and well-to-do in the world. Father, whose name was Solomon, was the oldest boy, and as they grew up, the hardest of the work naturally fell upon him, and as grand- father begun to get along considerable in years, father had to take the principal care of the farm. So that he was always called a hard-working boy and a hard-working man. He had OUT OF THE SENATE. 25 a quiet, peaceable disposition, and was never known to quarrel with anybody, and scarcely ever to speak a -ha'sh word. Uncle Joshua was the next oldest, and he was as different from father as a toad wants a tail. He was a clear shirk, and never would work if he could help it. But he was always good-natnred, and full of his pranks, and kept his clack agoing the whole day long; so that the boys used to like him, and whenever they wanted to have any frolic or fun they always used to go to him to take the lead. As he grew up he took to reading considerable, and after they begun to have newspapers at Downingville he was a' master-hand to read newspapers and talk politics, and by the time he was twenty-five years old he knew more about politics than any other man in Downingville. When he was thirty years old he was chosen Moderator of the town meeting, and has been chosen to that office every year since. He's been a Squire a good many years, and has held most all the offices in town, one after another, and is on the whole considered the foremost man in Downingville. He is now Postmaster of the United States for Downingville, an office which I was the means of helping him to by my acquaintance with the President. But it's time to begin to tell about myself. Mother always said I was the smartest baby that she ever see. I don't speak of this by way of bragging, but as I am writing a history to go before the world, I'm bound to be im- partial. She says before I was a week old I showed that I was real grit, and could kick and scream two hours upon the stretch, and not seem to be the least bit tired that ever was. But I don't remember anything about this. The first I page: 26-27[View Page 26-27] 26 3IY THRTY YEARS remember, I found myself one cold' November day, when I was about six years old, bareheaded and barefoot, sliding on the ice. It had been a snapping cold night, and all the boys in the neighborhood, and most all the gals turned out and had a fine frolic that day, sliding and running on the pond. Most of the larger boys had shoes, but we little fellers that wan't big enough to wear shoes had to tuff it out as well as we could. I carried a great pine chip in my hand, and when my feet got so cold I couldn't stand it no longer, I'd put the chip down and stand on that a little while and warm 'em, and then at it to sliding again. 'a WARMNG HS FEET. When I got to oe considerable of a boy I used to have to work with father on the farm. But it always seemed to go e ' OUT OF THE SENATE. 2' rather against my grain, and father used to say that I didn't love work a bit better than Uncle Joshua did, without he'd give me my stent, and then he said I would spring to it and get it done by noon, and go off round the pond in the afternoon fishing or hunting musquash. I think I took the most comfort in catching musquash of anything I used to do. There was a good deal of pleasure in catching pickerel--to take a long fishing pole and line, and go down to the pond in the morn- ing, and stand on a log whose top limbs run away off into the water, and throw the hook off and bob it about on the top of the water, and see a great pickerel jump and catch it, and wait a minute or two for him to get it well into his mouth, and then pull him ashore, kicking and jumping and flouncing -this was most capital fun, but it wan't quite equal to mus- quashing. I had a little steel trap, and I used to go down at night to the bank of a brook that run into the pond, and set the trap on the bank just under water, and fasten it by a line to a stake or a' tree, and put a bit of a parsnip on a stick and ,place it over the trap a little above the water, and then go home and sleep as well as I could for dreaming of musquash- es, and as soon as it was cleverly light in the morning, go down to the pond and creep along where the trap was sot, with my heart in my mouth, wondering if it was sprung or no, and come along to the stake and see no trap, but- the line drawn straight out into the water, then take hold of the line and draw up the trap, and see it rising up through the water fast hold of a great, plump musquash, as dead as a drowned rat, and full of fur as a beaver; this was fun alive; it made me feel as nicely as though I was hauling up a bucket of dol- lars. The summer I was fourteen years old I catched enough page: 28-29[View Page 28-29] 28 MY THRTY YEARS to buy me a fur hat and a pair of shoes, and a new jacket and trousers; and enough to buy me a pretty good new suit ot clothes almost every summer after that till I was twenty. We used to have a school in Downingville about three months in the Winter season and two months in the Summer, and I went to the Winter school three Winters, from the time I was twelve till I was fifteen.- And I was called about the best scholar of my age that there was in school. But to be impartial, I must confess the praise didn't always belong to me, for I used sometimes to work hea-dwork a little in order to get the name of being a smart scholar. One instance of it was in reading. I got along in reading so well, that the, master said I read better than some of the boys that were considerable older than I, and that had been to school a dozen Winters. But the way I managed it was this. There was cousin Obediah was the best reader there was in school, and as clever a boy as one in a thousand, only his father hadn't got no orchard. So I used to carry a great apple to school in my pocket every day und give to him to get him to set behind '. me when I was reading, where he could peak into my book, and when I come to a hard word, have him whisper it to6 me, and then I read it out loud. Well, one day I was reading along so, pretty glib, and at last I come to a pesky great : long crooked word, that I couldn't make head nor tail to it. So I waited for Obediah. But it proved to be a match for Obediah. He -peaked, and squinted, and choked,- and I was catching my breath and waiting for him to speak; and at last he found he could do nothing with it, and says he " skip it." The moment I heard the sound I bawled out, skip it. "What's that?" said the master, looking at me as queer as OUT OF THE SENATE. 29 though he had catched a weazel asleep. I stopt and looked at the word again, and poked my tongue out, and waited for o Obediah. Well, Obediah give me a hunch, and whispered again, " skip it." Then I bawled out again, skip it. At that the master and about one-half the scholars yaw-hawed right out. I couldn't stand that; and I dropt the book and streaked it out of school, and pulled foot for home as fast as I could go, and I never showed my head in school-again from that day to this. But for all that, I made out to pick up a pretty good education. I got so I could read and spell like a fox, and could cypher as far as the rule of three. And when I got to be about twenty years old, I was strongly talked of one Winter for schoolmaster. -But as a good many of the- same boys and gals would go to me, that were in the school when I read "skip it," I didn't dare to venture it for fear- there would be a sort of a snickering among 'em whenever any of them come to a hard word. So I jogged along with father on the farm. But let me be doing what I would, whether it was hoeing potatoes, or pitch- ing hay, or making stone wall, or junking and piling logs, I never could feel exactly easy. Something seemed to keep ringing in my, ears all the time, and saying I was made to do something in the world besides this. And an old woman that come along and told fortunes, when she come to tell mine said that wherever I should go and whatever I should undertake to do, I should always get t0a:the top of the ladder. Well, this made me keep a'thinking so much the harder, and won- dering what I should be in the world, and although I used to stick to my work as steady as any of the boys, yet I used to feel as uneasy as a fish out of water. But what made me , .. page: 30-31[View Page 30-31] E --I 30 TYr THRTY YEARS think most about it was father.- He always used to stand to it I was smarter than comnion boys, and used to tell mother she might depend upon it, if I lived and nothing didn't happen to me, I should some day or other raise the name of the Downings higher than it ever had been yet. At last father dreampt a dream, that put the cap-stone upon the whole of it He dreampt that I was out in the field hoc- ing potatoes, and he stood leaning over his staff, as he very often used to do, looking at me. By and by he said I stopped I Il Y FATHER MY FATHER'S DREAM. OUT- OF THE SENATE. 31 hoeing, and stood up and leaned my chin on my hoe-handle, anld seemed to look' up toward the sky; and he said I looked as calm as the moon in a cleo r Summer night. Presently my hat began to rise up gradually and dropped off on the ground, but I stood still. Then he said the top of my head began to open, and a curious green plant began to sprout up out of it. And it grew up about two feet, and sent out ever so many young branches with broad green leaves, and then the little buds began to open and roll out great clusters of the most beautiful bright flowers, one above another, that ever he see in all his life. He watched 'em till they all got blowed out into a great round bunch, as big as a bushel basket, and then he waked up, and he felt, so he got right out of bed and walked the floor till morning, And when we all- got up he sot down and told the dream over to me and mother. Mother sot with her pocket-handkerchief wiping the tears out of her eyes all the time he was telling of it; and I felt as though my blood was running cold all, over me. But from that time I always felt sure the time would come when Downingville wouldn't be big enough to hold me, and that I should do something or other in the world that would be worth telling of; but what it would be I couldn't think. Well, I kept jogging along on the farm after the same old sort, year after year, so- long, and there didn't nothing happen to me, that sometimes I almost begun .,to give it up, and think, sure enough, it was all nothing: but a dream. Still I kept having spells that I felt terribly uneasy, and was tempted forty times to pack up and go and seek my fortune. I might tell a good deal more about my life, and my uncles, and aunts and cousins, and the rest of the neighbors, but I \ - *.:? page: 32-33[View Page 32-33] 82 MY THRTY YEARS -begin to feel a most tired of writing my life, and I believe I shall have to serve it pretty much as I planted my water- million seeds; and that was this: When I was about six or seven years old our folks give me a pint of watermillion-seeds and told me to go out into the field and plant 'em for myself, and I might have all I could raise. So off I goes, tickled enough. And I went to work and punched little holes down in the ground and put in one seed to time along in a row, three or four inches apart, till I got about half the seeds planted. It was rather a warm afternoon, and I began to feel a little tired, so I took and dug a hole and poured the rest of the seeds all in together, and covered-'em up, and went into the house. Well, mother asked me if I planted my seeds, "Yes, mam," says I. "What, all of 'em?" says she. "Yes, mam," says I. "But you've been very spry," says she, "how did you get them done so quick?" "O," says I, "easy enough; I planted 'em in a hill and a row." And when they begun to. come up they found 'em in a hill and a row, sure enough. So I believe I shall have to pour the rest of my life into a hill and let it go. To come, then, right to the pint-I don't mean the pint of watermillion seeds, but the pint in my life which seemed to be the turning pint. In the Fall of the year 1829, I took it into my head' I'd go to Portland, So one day I up and told father, and says I, "I'm going to Portland, whether or no, and I'll see what this world's made of yet." .Father stared a little at first, and-said he was afraid I should get lost; but when he see I was bent upon it he give it up, and he stepped to his chist and opened the till, and took out a dollar and give it to me, and says he, Jack, this is all I can do for you; but go, OUT OF THE SENATE. 3 and lead an honest life, and I believe I shall hear good of you yet." He turned and walked across the room, but I could see the tears start into his eyes, and mother sot down and had a hearty crying spell. This made me feel rather bad for ,a minute or two, and I almost had a mind to give it up; and then again father's dream came into my mind, and I mustered up courage and declared I'd go. So I tackled up the old horse, and packed in a load of ax-handles and a few notions, and mother fried me some doughnuts and put 'em into a box along with some cheese and sassages, and ropped me up another shirt, for I told her I didn't know how long I should be gone; and after I got all rigged out I went round and bidl all the neighbors good bye, and jumped in and drove off for Portland. 1 ON THE ROAD TO PORTLAND. I hadn't been in Portland long before I happened to blunder to the Legislater; and I believe that was the beginning of *2 page: 34-35[View Page 34-35] 84 MY THRTY YEARS my good luck. I see such queer kinds of carrying on there that I couldn't help setting down and writing to cousin Ephraim to tell uncle Joshua about it; because he always wanted to know everything that's going on in Politics. So I went to the editor of the Portland Courier and asked him if he would send it. So I let him have it, and fact, he went right to work and printed it in the Courier as large as life. He said he wouldn't let anybody else see it but cousin Ephraim; but somehow or other it leaked out, and was all over the Legislater the next morning, and everybody was inquiring for Mr. Downing. Well, this kind of got me right into public life at once ; and I've been in public life ever since, and have been writing letters and rising up along gradually, one step after another, till I've got up along side of the President, and am talked of now pretty strong for President myself, and have been nominated in a good many of the first papers of the country. -My public life will be found in my letters, one after another, jest as they come, from the time I first sent that letter in the Portland Courier to cousin Ephraim till this time. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. Portland, Me., 1834. POSTSCRIPT TO MY LIFE. It will be seen by the date above that I wrote this little history of my life twenty odd years ago. It was the time the Boston folks published a little-vollum of my first Letters, and the Life was writ to head the vollum with. But I've seen a great deal more of the world since then, and have writ a great many more Letters, arid seen a great deal more of the ^ OUT O THE SENArt. 36. workings of American Politicians. And they'll all haveto come into my Thirty Years' View. But therell be a kind of gap near the close of Gineral Jackson's time, and for awhile i after, because a lot of mr letters, written at thattime, was . lost in a fire some years afterward, and I don't suppose I can now find the papers they was published in. But I will bridge over the gap as well as I can, and there'll be a pretty long road to travel both sides of it. And this reminds me how strange the parallel runs between me and onel Benton; for he lost a lot of his letters and speeches and dockymentsby fire, and had a good deal of a- hard job to go over the ground - again in getting up his work. But I and Colonel Benton are hard to beat. We generally go ahead, let what will stand in the way. a: MAJOR JA,CK DOWNING. ' New- York, 1858. :4 ,? page: 36-37[View Page 36-37] up^ M'JL AA^.JL . 1 ., A 4. AAk MY LETTERS AND OTHER DOC(KYMENTS. LETTER I.* PORTLAND, Monday, Jan. 18, 1830. To Cousin Ephraim Downing, up in Downingville: DEAR COUSIN JrPHRAIM :--I now take my pen in hand to let you know that I am well, hoping these few lines will find you enjoying the same blessing. When I come down to Portland I didn't think o' staying more than three or four days, if I could sell my load of ax handles, and mother's cheese, and cousin Nabby's bundle of footings ; but when I got here I found Uncle Nat was gone a freighting down to Quoddy, and aunt Sally said as how I shouldn't stir a step home till he come back agin, which won't be this month. So here I am, loiter- ing about this great town, as lazy as an ox. Ax handles don't fetch nothing; I couldn't hardly give 'em away. Tell Cousin Nabby I sold her footings for nine-pence a pair, and took it all in cotton cloth. Mother's cheese come to seven-and-sixpence; I got her half a pound of shushon; * EDITORAL NoTE. -The political struggle in the Legislature of Maine in the winter of 1830 will long be remembered. The preceding electioneering campaign had been carried on with:a bitterness and personality unprecedent- ed in the State, and so nearly were the parties divided, that before the meet- ing of the Legislature to count the votes for Governor, both sides confident- ly claimed the victory. Hence the members came together with feelings highly excited, prepared to dispute every inch of ground, and ready to take fire at the first spark which collision might produce.- A fierce war commenced OUT OF THE SENATE. 37 and two ounces of snuff, and the rest in sugar. When Uncle Nat comes home I shall put my ax handles aboard of him, and let him take 'em to Boston next time he goes; ' I saw a feller tother day, that told me they'd fetch a good1 price there. I've been here now a whole fortnight, and if I could tell ye one half I've seen, I guess you'd stare worse than if you'd seen a catamount. I've been to meeting, and to the museum, and to both Legislaters, the one they call the House, and the one they call the Sinnet. I spose Uncle Joshua is in a great hurry to hear something about theseI Legislaters; for you know he's always reading newspapers, and talking politics, when he can get anybody to talk with him. I've seen him when he had five tons of hay in the field well made, and a heavy shower coming up, stand two hours disputing with Squire W. about Adams and Jackson--one calling Adams a tory and a fed, and the other saying Jackson was a murderer and a fool ; so they kept it up, till the rain began to pour down, and about- spoilt all his hay. Uncle Joshua may set his heart at rest about the bushel of corn that he bet 'long with the postmaster, that Mr. Ruggles would be Speaker of that Legislater they call the House; for a he's lost it, slick as a whistle. As I hadn't much to do, I've ' at the first moment of the meeting, and continued for about six weeks without:l intermission, before they succeeded in organizing the government. It wasdur- ing this state of things that Mr. Downing fortunately happened to drop intoI the Legislature. In explanation of the first letter, it may be remarked, that as soon as the Representatives had assembled, Albert Smith, Esq.. of Noble- borough, the then Marshal of Maine, called them to order, and nominated Mr. White, of Monmouth, Chairman, who was declared elected without cere- mony, and took the chair. After he had occupied it two days Mr. Goodenow - was elected Speaker. i :: page: 38-39[View Page 38-39] 88 MY THRTY YEARS been there every day since they've been a setting. A Mr White, of Monmouth, was the Speaker the first two days ; and I can't see why they didn't keep him in all the time; for he seemed to be a very clever, good-natured sort of man, and he had such a smooth, pleasant way with him, that I couldn't help feeling sorry when they turned him out and put in another. But some said he wasn't put in hardly fair ; and I don't know as he was, for the first day, when they were all coming in and crowding round, there was a large, fa$ man, with a round, full, jolly sort of a face, I suppose he was the captain, for he got use and commanded them to come to order, and then he told this Mr. White to whip into the chair quicker than you could say Jack Robinson. Some of 'em scolded about it, and I heard some, in a little room they called the, lobby, say 'twas a mean trick ; but I couldn't see why, for I thought Mr. White made a capital Speaker, and when our company turns out, the cap'n always has a right to do as he's a mind to. They kept disputing most all the time the first two days about a poor Mr. Roberts, from Waterborough. Some said he should n't have a seat because he adjourned the town meet- ing and wasn't fairly elected. Others said it was no such thing, and that he was elected as fairly as any of 'em. And Mr. Roberts himself said he was, and said he could bring men that would swear to it, and good men too. But, notwithstand- ing all this, when they came to vote, they got three or four majority that he should'nt have a seat. And I thought it a needless piece of cruelty, for they wan't crowded, and there was a number of seats empty. But they would have it so, and the poor man had to go and stand up in the lobby. Then they disputed awhile about a Mr. Fowler's having a OUT OF THE SENATE. 39 seat. Some said he shouldn't have a seat, because when he was elected some of his votes were given for his father. But they were more kind to him than they were to Mr Roberts, , for they voted that he should have a seat; and I suppose it was because they thought he had a lawful right to inherit. whatever was his father's. They all declared there was no party politics about it, and I don't think there was; for I no- ticed that all who voted that Mr. Roberts should have a seat, voted that Mr. Fowler should not; and all who voted that Mr. Roberts should not have a. seat, voted that Mr. Fowler should. So, as they all voted bot]h ways, they must have been conscien- cious, and I don't see how there could be any party about it. It's a pity they couldn't be allowed to have two Speakers, for they seemed to be very anxious to choose Mr. Ruggles and Mr. Goodenow. They two had every vote except one, and if they had had that, I believe they would both have been chosen; as it was, however; they both 'came within a humbird's eye of it. Whether it was Mr. Ruggles voted for Mr. Goodenow, or Mr. Goodenow for Mr. Ruggles, I can't ex- actly tell; but I rather guess it was Mr. Ruggles voted for Mr. Goodenow, for he appeared to be very glad to see Mr. Goodenow in the chair, and shook hands with him as good- natured as could be. I would have given half my load of ax handles, if they could both have been elected and set up there together, they would have been so happy. But as they can't have but -one Speaker at a time, and as Mr. Goodenow ap- pears to understand the business very well, it is not likely i Mr. Ruggles will be Speaker any this winter. So Uncle Joshua will have to shell out his bushel of corn, and I hope it; will learn him better than to bet about politics again. Before , page: 40-41[View Page 40-41] 40 MY THRTY YEARS I I came from home, some of the papers said how there was a majority of ten or fifteen National Republicans in the Legisla- ter, and the other party said there was a pretty clever little majority of Democratic Republicans. Well, now everybody ! says it has turned out jest as that queer little paper, called ! the Daily Courier, said 'twould. That paper said it was such a close rub it couldn't hardly tell which side would beat. s And it's jest so, for they've been here now most a fortnight - acting jest like two boys playin see-saw on a rail. First one goes up, and then 'tother; but I reckon one of the boys is rather heaviest, for once in a while he comes down chuck, and throws the other up into the air as though he would pitch him head over heels. Your loving cousin till death. JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE 41 DOWNINGVILLE TAVERN. LETTER II.* I ABOUT POOR MR- ROBERTS HAVING TO STAND UP. PORTLAND, Jan. 22, 1830. To Uncle Josl ua Downing, up in Dowmngville: DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :--I spose you learnt by my letter : t'other day to cousin Ephraim, that you had lost the bushel * EDITORIAL NOTE.-It was the rule at the meeting of the Legislature to admit all to a seat who could produce a certificate of their election, which cer-. page: 42-43[View Page 42-43] 42 MY TlHKtlY YEARS of corn you bet about the Speaker in the Legislater-I mean that Legislater they call the House-for Mr. White got it first, and then Mr. Goodenow got it, and he's kept it ever since. And they say he'll be Speaker all winter, although he don't speak near so much as some of the rest of 'em. There's lawyer Ruggles, of Thomaston, that used to be Speaker, and folks say he made a very smart one. And there's lawyer Bou- telle, of Waterville, who's got eyes sharp enough to look through anybody, and who makes 'em all as still as mice when he-speaks. And there's lawyer Smith, of Nobleborough ; he looks very much like a man I saw in the museum, that they called Daniel Lambert, only he isn't quite so large. But my patience he's a real peeler for speaking, and sope- times he pours out his voice so as to make me jump right up on my feet. If I was going to bet who would be Speaker next year, I should bet upon him before anybody else. And there's lawyer Bourne, of Kennebunk, and lawyer Kent, of Bangor, and lawyer Norton, of Milburn, and Dr. Burnham, of Orland, and Dr. Shaw, of Wiscasset, and Dr. Wells, of Free- port, and Parson Knowlton, of Montville, and Parson Swett, of Prospect, and some others, if I could only think of 'em. Now, most any- of these speak more than Mr. Goodenow does; tificate was considered prima facia evidence that they were' duly returned as members. The Portland Argus and Advertiser, were the leading papers of the two parties; and as matters began to grow worse and worse in the Legis- lature, the Argus constantly affirmed that the Democratic Republicans used every endeavor in their power to organize the government and proceed in the public business, but that the Huntonites would not let them. And the Ad- vertiser as constantly affirmed that the National Republicans used their ut- most endeavors to proceed in the public business, but the Jacksonites would not let them. OUT OF THE SENATE.. 43 and still Mr. Goodenow is called the Speaker, because they voted that he should be. . They've disputed two days more about that poor Mr. Rob- erts having a seat. I can't see why they need to make such a fuss about it. As they've got seats enough, why don't they let him have one, and not keep him standing up for three weeks in the lobby and round the fire. It's a plaguey sight worse than being on a standing committee, for they say the standing committees have a chance to set- most every day. But in the dispute about Mr. Roberts last Wednesday and Thursday, the difficulty seemed to be something or other about a prinyfacy case. I don't know wha sort of a case ase , but that's what they called it. Some said he hadn't got any primy 'facy case, and he mustn't have a seat till he had one. The oth- i ers stood to it that he had got one, and a very good one. Mr. Ruggles said it was full as good a one as the gentleman from Portland had. And they read about twenty papers that they called depositions, about the town-meeting of Waterborough; but they didn't seem to say anything about theprimy facy case. About one-half of 'em said the town-meeting was adjourned, and t'other half said 'twasn't. And one of the depositions said there was some of 'em at the meeting agreed that Mr. Roberts shouldn't be elected at any rate; and if they couldn't prevent it any other way they agreed to keep up a row till midnight. And when they brought in candles in the evening they knocked 'em all over and put 'em out. So they all had to clear out; and some said there was a vote to adjourn the meeting, and some said Mr. Roberts adjourned it alone, and some said 'twasn't adjourned at all. And one of the deposi- tioners said Mr. Roberts offered to give him as much rum as i Ii page: 44-45[View Page 44-45] " MY THRTY YEARS ; J he would drink if he would only say the meeting was fairly I adjourned. But all the depositions didn't convince but sixty- I nine members of the House that Mr. Roberts had a primyfacy case, and there were seventy-five convinced t'other way. So, after they had disputed two days, they voted again that Mr. Roberts shouldn't have a seat yet. Oh dear, Uncle Joshua, these Legislaters have got the State into a-dreadful pickle. I've been reading the Portland Argus and' the Portland Advertiser, and it's enough to scare a Bun- ker Hill soger out of his seven senses to see what we are all coming to. According to these papers there are two very clever parties in the State that are trying with all their might to save us from ruin. They are called Democratic Republikins and National RepuUblikins-and you'd be perfectly astonished to see how hard -they've worked,- as these papers say, in both Legislaters, to set things right, and get business a-going on well, so that we can have a Governor, and live in peace and harmony, and not break out into civil war, and all be ruined in a bunch. But it's doubtful if they'll make out to save us after all; for there is such a set of Jacksonites and Hurton- ites, that are all the time a-plotting to bring us to destruction, that*I tell you what 'tis, if something iun't done pretty soon, it'll be gone goose with us. These Jacksonites and Huntonites seem to have a majority in the Legislaters ; and they've been making a proper bother for a'most three weeks, so that the Democratic Republikins and the National Republikins couldn't do nothing at all. And sometimes I'm really afraid they'll have to break up and go home without doing anything-; and if they do, they say we shall all be afloat, and there's no knowing where we shall OUT OF THE SENATE.- 45 ii land. Tne :Republikins appointed a committee to count the votes for Governor, and the committee told 'em Mtother day there was thirty-nine majority for Mr. Hunton, and he was elected. But then these Jacksonites and Huntonites went to disputing about the matter, and some say they will dispute it this fortnight yet. What a blessing it would be if the Legis- laters were all Democratic and National Republikins. The people are growing pretty mad at all this botheration, and I can't tell what'll be the end on't. But I shall write again to you or Cousin Ephraim pretty soon. So I remain your loving neffu till death. JACK DOWNING. :!! $ - Andi page: 46-47 (Illustration) [View Page 46-47 (Illustration) ] " MY 'THRTY YEARS I LETTER III. UNCLE JOSHUA TELLS HOW HE WENT TO BOSTON AND TOOK DINNER WH - THE GINERAL COURT. BOSTON, January 25, 1830. DEAR NEPHEW :-I left home just after your letter to your cousin Ephraim got there, and I didn't get a sight of your letter to me that you put into the Courier at Portland until I saw it in the Daily Advertiser in Bston, and I guess Mr Hale is the only person in Boston who takes that are little Courier, so you was pretty safe about the letter not being seen, as the printer promised you. How I happened to see it here you will find out before I have got through with this letter. I guess you won't be a little struck up when you find out that I'm in Boston. But I had best begin at the begin- ning, and then I shall get through quicker. After seeing your letter to Ephraim, as I said before, I con- eluded it wouldn't be a bad scheme to tackle up and take a load of turkeys, some apple-sass, and other notions that the neighbors wanted to get to market, and as your Uncle Nat would be in Boston with the ax-handles, we all thought best to try our luck there. Nothing happened worth mentioning on the road, nor till next morning after I got here and put up in Elm street. I then got off my watch pretty curiously, as you shall be informed. I was down in the bar-room, and thought it well enough to look pretty considerable smart, and -. J O-N UNCLE JOSHUA AND Tf1E FOURTH STATTFVR. T - ! page: 48-49[View Page 48-49] OUT OF THE SENATE. 49 now and then compared my watch with the clock in the bar, and found it as near right as ever it was, when a feller stept up to me and ask'd how I'd trade? and says I, for what? and says he, for your watch, and says I, any way that will be a fair shake ; upon that says he, I'll give you my watch and five dollars; says 1, it's done I He gave me the five dollars, and I gave him my watch. Now, says I, give me your watch; and, says he, with a loud laugh, I han't got none, and that kind a turned the laugh on me. Thinks I, let them laugh that lose. Soon as the laugh was well over the feller thought he'd try the watch to his ear; why, says he, it don't go; no,. says I, not without it's carried; then I began to laugh. He tried to open it and couldn't start it a hair, and broke his thumb nail into the bargain. Won't she open, says he? Not's I know on, says I, and then the laugh seemed to take another turn. Don't you think I got off the old Brittania pretty well, con- siderin? And then I thought I'd go and see about my load )f turkeys and other notions. I expected to have gone allI )ver town to sell my load, but Mr. Doolittle told me if I'd go lown to the new market. I should find folks enough to buy all [ had at once. So down I goes, and a likely kind of a feller, with an eye like a hawk and quick as a steel trap for a trade, (they called him a fourth staller,*) came up-to the waggon, ind before you could say Jack Robinsoniwe struck a bargain for the whole cargo; and come to weigh and reckon up I bound I should get as much as los. 6d. more than any of us : calculated before I left home, and had the apple-sass left be - * Fore-staller. ,' q X page: 50-51[View Page 50-51] 50 MY THRTY YEARS sides. So I thought I'd jest see how this fourth staller worked his card to be able to give us so good atprice for the turkeys, and I went inside the market house, ana a grander sight I never expect to see H But it was the third staller, in- -stead of the fourth, had my turkeys all sorted an hYag up, and looking so much better that I hardly should known 'em. Pretty soon a gentleman asked the third staller wJhathe asked for turkeys? Why, says he, if you want something better than you ever saw before, there's some 'twas killed last night purpose for you. You may take 'emr at 9d., [-12 cents Massachusetts currency,] being it's you. I'll give you 12 cents, said the gentleman, as I've got some of the General Court to dine with me, and must treat well. I shan't stand for half a cent with an old customer, says he. And so they traded; and in about the space of half an hour or more all my turkeys went into baskets at that rate. The fourth staller gave me 6d. a pound, and I began to think I'd been a little too much in a hurry for trade-but's no use to cry for spilt milk. Then I went up to the State House to see what was going on there; but I thought I'd, get off my apple-sass on my way-and seeing a sign of old clothes bartered, I stepped in and made a trade, and got a whole suit of superfine black broadcloth from top to toe for a firkin of apple-sass (which didn't cost much I guess, at home.) Accordingly I rigged myself up in the new suit, and you'd hardly known me. I didn't like the set of the shoulders, they were so dreadful puckery; but the man said that wasl all right. 'I guess he'll find the apple-sass full as puckery when he get's down into it--but that's between ourselves. Well, when I got up to the State House I found them at work on OUT OF THE SENATE, 51 the railroad, busy enough I can tell you; they got a part of I it made already. I found most all the folks kept their hats on except the man who-was talking out loud and the man he was talking to; all the rest seemed to be busy about their own consarns. As I did't see ianybody to talk to, I kept my hat on and took a seat, and look'd round to'see what was going on. I hadn't been setting long before I saw a slick-headed, sharp- eyed little man, who seemed to have the principal manage- ment of the folks, looking at me pretty sharp, as much as to say, who are you? but I said nothing and looked tother way. At last he touched me on the shoulder; I thought he was feeling of the puckers. Are you a member? says he; sartin, says I; how long have you taken your seat? says he; about ten minutes, says I; are you qualified? says he; I guess not, says I. And then he left me. I didn't know exactly what this old gentleman was after, but soon he returned and said * it was proper for me to be qualified before I took a seat, and [ must go before the Governor I By Jing H I never felt so be- fore in all my born days. As good luck would have it he was beckoned to come to a man at the desk, and as soon as his back was turned I give him the slip. Just as I was going off :he gentleman who bought my turkeys of the fourth staller ook hold of my arm, and I was afraid at first that he was roing to carry me to the Governor; but he began to talk as ociable as if we had been old acquaintances. How long iave you been in the house, Mr. Smith? says he. My name j 3 Downing, said I. I beg your pardon, says h e, I mean )owning. It's no offence, says I, I hav'nt been here long. 'hen, says he, in a very pleasant way, a few of your brother lembers are to take pot-lock with me to-day, and I should be \::i page: 52-53[View Page 52-53] 52 . MY THRTY YEARS happy to have you join them. What's pot-luck? said I, O, a family dinner, says he-no ceremony. I thought by this time I was well qualified for that without going to the Gover- I nor. So says I, yes, and thank ye too. How long before I you'll want me, says I. At 3 o'clock, says he, and gave me I a piece of pasteboard with his name on it, and the name of the street and the number of his house, and said that would show the way. Well, says I, I don't know of nothing that will keep me away. And then we parted. I took consider- able liking to him. After strolling round and seeing a great many things about the State House, and the marble image of Gineral Washing- ton, standing on a stump in the porch, I went out into the street they call- Bacon street, and my stars I what swarms of women folks- I saw, all drest up as if they were going to I meeting. You can tell couSln- Polly Sandburn, who you know is no slimster, that she needn't take on so about being genteel in her shapes, for the genteelest ladies here beat her as to size all hollow. I don't believe one of 'em could get into our fore dore, and as for their arms, I shouldn't want bitter measure for a bushel of meal than one of their -sleeves could- hold. I shan't shell out the; bushel of corn you say Pve lost on Speaker Ruggles at that rate. But this puts me in mind of the dinner which 'Mr. --- wanted I should help the Gineral Court eat. So I took out the piece of pasteboard and began to inquire my way and got along completely, and found the number the first time; but the door was locked, and there was no knocker, and I thumpt with my whip handle but nobody come. And says I to a man going by, don't nobody live here? and says he, yes. Well, how do you aOUT OF THE SENATE * 5 a get in? Why, says he, ring ; and says I, ring what? And says he, the bell. And says-I, where's the rope? And says he, pull that little brass nub; and so I gave it a twitch, and I'm sure a bell did ring; and who do you think opened the door with a white apron afore him? You couldn't guess for a week a Sundays, so I'll tell you. -It was Stephen Furlong, l- UNCLE JOSHUA AND STEPHEN FURLONG. who kept our district school last Winter, for five dollars a .- month, and kept bachelor's hall, and helped tend for Gineral - Coombs a training days, and make out muster rolls. We was considerably struck up at first, both of us; and when he found I was going to eat dinner with Mr --- and Gineral -,!! page: 54-55[View Page 54-55] 54 MY THRTY YEARS Court, he thought it queer kind of doings; but says he, I guess it will be as well for both of us not to know each other a bit more than we can help. And says I, with a wink, you're half right, and in I went. There was nobody in the room but Mr. - and his wife, and not a sign of any dinner to be seen anywhere, though I thought now and then when a side door opened I could smell cupboard, as they say. I thought I should be puzzled enough to know what to say, but I hadn't my thoughts long to myself. Mr. has about as nimble a tongue as you ever heard, and could say ten words to my one, and I had nothing to do in the way of making talk. Just then I heard a ringing, and Stephen was busy opening the door and letting in the Gineral Court, who had all their hats off, and looking pretty scrumptious, you may depend. I didn't see but I could stand along side of 'em with- out disparagement, except to my boots, which had just got a lick of beeswax and tallow. Not a mite of dinner yet, and I began to feel as if 'twas nearer supper-time than dinner-time, when all at once two doors flew away from each other right into the wall, and what did I see but one of the grandest thanksgiving dinners you ever laid your eyes on, and lights on the table, and silver candlesticks and gold lamps over head-the window shutters closed. I guess more than one of us stared at first, but we soon found the way to our mouths. I made Stephen tend out for me pretty sharp, and he got my plate filled three or four times with soup, which beat all I ever tasted. I shan't go through the whole dinner again to you.; but I am mistaken if it cost me much for victuals this week, if I pay by the meal at Mr. Doolittle's, who comes pret- ty near up to a thanksgiving every day. There was consid- OUT OF THE SENATE. 55 erable talk about stock and manufactories, and her bilities, and rimidies, and a great loss on stock. I thought this a good chance for me to put in a word, for I calculated I knew as much about raising stock and keeping over as any of 'em. Says I to Mr. - , there's one thing I've always obsarved in my experience in stock-jest as sure as you try to keep over more stock than you have fodder to carry them well into Aperil, one half will die on your hands to a sartainty, and there's no rimidy for it; I've tried it out and out, and there's no law that can make a tun of hay keep over ten cows, unless you have more carrots and potatoes than you can throw a stick at. This made some of the folks stare who didn't know much about stock, and Steeve give me a jog, as much as to say, keep quiet. He thought I was getting into a quagmire, and soon after, giving me a wink, opened the door, and got me out of the room into the entry. After we had got out of hearing, says I to Steve, how are you getting on in the world?-should you like to come back to keep our school if I could get a vote for you? Not by two chalks, says Steve, I know which side my bread is buttered better than that; I get twelve dollars a month and found, and now and then some old clothes, which is better than keeping school at five dollars and find myself, and work out my highway tax besides; then turning up the cape of my new coat, says he, I guess I've dusted that before now. Most likely, says I, but not in our district school. And this brings to mind to tell you. how I got sight of your letter. i: They tell me here that everybody reads the Boston Daily Ad- B vertiser, because there is no knowing but what they may find out something to their advantage, so I thought I would be as. ,'* - :- ',.] page: 56-57[View Page 56-57] ^66 MY t'lHl'rY YEARS wise as the rest of them, and before I got half way through, with it, what should I find mixed up with the news but your letter, that you put into that little paper down in Portland, and I knew it was your writing before I had read ten lines of it. I hope I've answered it to your satisfaction. Your respectful uncle, JOSHUA DOWNING. P. S.-Mr. Topliff says your Uncle Nat is telegraphed, but I'm afraid the ax handles won't come to much. I find the Boston folks make a handle of most anything they can lay hold of, and jest as like as not they'll make a handle of our private letters if they should see them. N. B.-You spell dreadful bad, according to my notion; and this proves what I always said, that our district has been going down hill ever since Stephen Furlong left it. DOCKYMENTS.* Extract from the Portland Courier, January, 1830. Saturday forenoon, the house having adjourned at an early hour, we repaired to the Senate Chamber with a view of * EDITORIAL NoTE.-In order that the reader may understand the pro- gress of the war in the Maine Legislature, it should be remarked that the parties in the Senate were equally divided. There were eight Hunton- ites, or National Republicans, and eight Smithites or Democratic Republicans, and four vacancies. The battles, therefore, in the Senate, were more serious, obstinate and protracted than they were in the House. They balloted regu- larly for President every day for about a fortnight. To illustaate the state of affairs at that time, a couple of extracts from the Portland Courier in re- lation to the balloting in the Senate are subjoined. OUT OF THi SHE ENAT'El. O standing watch awhile. We arrived just in the height of a spirited skirmish, or what might almost be called a bat- tle; but the room was crowded and the doorway so impene- trably thronged that we could gain no entrance. There was scarcely room for a man to wedge his nose in, unless it were a remarkably thin and sharp one. From the subdued and re- gular hum within there was evidently a debate going on, but we being somewhat low in stature, and a solid phalanx of six-footers standing before us, we were left in the unpleasant predicament of stretching up on tip-toe without catching a single glimpse of the scene, and holding our hands behind our ears without distinguishing a syllable that was uttered. The debate, however, soon subsided. We learned after- ward, from inquiry, that it related to the subject of forming a convention with the House for the purpose of filling vacan- cies, before the Senate was organized; the eight Huntonites voting in favor of the proposition, and eight Smithites against it. A vote was then passed to proceed to ballot for President again, and luckily for us, the ballot-boxes were out in the lobby, and out came the messenger, cutting his way like a hero, (we like to have said hero of New Orleans, but hap- pened to think some would say we were taking sides.) We simply say, then, he cut his way through the dense rank of spectators like a hero- and we crept in through the breach he had made. The committee collected the votes for President and retired. In about ten minutes they returned, and de- clared the result-seven for Mr. Dunlap, seven for Mr. Kings- bury, and two scattering. They collected the votes again, and retired as before, and! returned as before, and declared the same result. Again they page: 58-59[View Page 58-59] 68 MY THRTY YEARS proceeded in the same round, and came in the third time, and stood ready to declare. 'The spectators had become so accus- tomed to the report-for they had been listening to the same tune nearly three weeks-that they were whispering it off in advance of the committee, like a mischievous and sinful boy running ahead of some good old country Deacon, who always uses the same words in prayer. Judge then, ye readers of the Courier, what unspeakable astonishment prevailed, when from the lips- of the chairman fell the startling words, eight for Sanford Kingsbury, six for Robert P. Dunlap, and two scattering. The effect was like that of a clap of thunder in the dead of winter; some faces grew longer, and some grew shorter; in some eyes there was a look of wildness; in others a leering complacency, that seemed to say, "you're dished at last ; while some confounded knowing glances from other quarters visibly replied, " not as you know on." And to be sure these last were in the right; for round they went the fourth time, collected the ballots, counted them, and came in again. Ex- pectation was on tiptoe, and speculation was very busy. Some thought this ballot would settle the question, but others doubted. The committee declared, and the same old tune greeted the ears of the audience-seven for Mr. Dunlap, seven for Mr. Kingsbury, and two scattering. Another extract from the same. A Nsw Tuws.-We have to pitch our pipe to a new tune -this morning. The second great battle of the session was fought, or rather terminated yesterday afternoon. After a regular engagement for eight days in succession, during OUT OF THE SENATE. 59 which time the regular armies of Huntonites and Smithites in the Senate were drawn up face to face, forenoon and after- noon, exchanging some half a dozen shots every day, and then retiring by mutual consent, and sleeping upon their arms, the conflict was ended yesterday afternoon by a ruse de guerre on the part of the Huntonites, vhich led them to victo- ry without bloodshed. The Senate met in the afternoon at three o'clock, and proceeded to their usual round' of duties. The committee received the votes for President, and retired, and came in again, and declared in the strains of the old tune, seven for Mr. Dunlap, seven for Mr. Kingsbury, and two scattering. They proceeded again, and came in as before. It was the fiftieth ballot since the commencement of the ses- sion; and had a fifty pounder been unexpectedly discharged in the room, it would hardly have produced a stronger sensa- tion, than the declaration of the committee, when they piped away in the following new tune : whole number of votes, 15; necessary to a choice, 8; Joshua Hall has 8, Robert Dunlap, 6; James Steele, 1; blank, 1. We shall not attempt to de- scribe the coloring of faces, the wildness of eyes, or the biting of lips that ensued; for, not arriving in season we did not see them. But we have no doubt, from the remarks of those who were present, that the occasion would have furnished a scene for painting, -fully equal, if not surpassing that in the House on the choice of Speaker. After the first consternation had subsided, Mr. Hall was declared duly elected President of the Senate. Whereupon he rose in his place, and thanked the gentlemen of the Board for the confidence they had placed in him. He doubted his abilities to discharge properly the X- ';!I "If page: 60-61[View Page 60-61] 60 MY THRTY YEARS duties assigned him; but under present circumstances he would accept the trust. He accordingly took the chair.* * EDITORIAL NoTE.-Mr. Hall, or Elder Hall, as he was usually called, was a Democratic Republican, but chosen -President exclusively by the National Republican votes, he throwing a blank vote himself. He was a short, fleshy, good-hearted old gentleman, a minister of the Methodist denomination, and knew much more about preaching than he did about politics. The Demo- cratic Republicans after their first consternation at his election had subsided, fearing that he had actually gone over to the enemy, took measures to have a private consultation with him immediately after adjournment. This inter- view resulted in nailing the old gentleman to his former political faith, and he stuck to the party like wax during the remainder of the session. So the Senate was still divided, eight to eight, except when the four new Senators, elected by the National Republicans to fill the vacancies, attempted to act. ,* OUT OF THE SENATE. 61 "ETTE; R IV. COUSIN NABBY ADVISES MR. DOWNING TO COME HOME. DOWNINGVILLE, January 30, 1830. DEAR COUSIN: If you were only here I would break the handle of our old birch '"-f -broom over your back for serving me such a caper. Here I have been waiting three weeks for that cotton cloth you got for the footings; and you know the meeting-house windows were to have been broke* a fortnight ago, if I had got it. And then I had to tell Sam I was wait- ing for some cotton cloth. He tried to keep in with all his might, but he burst out a laughing so, I'm a good mind to turn him off. But if I do, you and he will be both in the same * EDITORIAL NOTE.--The law "Down East" required that the intentions of, i marriage between a couple should be posted up at the meeting-house by the , Town Clerk two or three weeks before the marriage; and this was cilled I breaking the meeting-house windows. .* ' ,:;Xi page: 62-63[View Page 62-63] 62 MY THRTY YEARS pickle. You had better let them legislaters alone ; and if you can't sell your ax-handles, take 'em and come home and mind your business. There is Jemime Parsons romping about with the school-master, fair weather and foul. Last Wednesday she went a sleigh-riding with him, and to-night she's going to the singing-school, and he is going to carry her. Last night she came over to our house, and wanted me to go to Uncle Zeke's to borrow their swifts, she said, when she knew we had some, and had borried them a dozen times. I said nothing, but went with her. When we got there who should we find but the school-master. I know Jemime knew it, and went there purpose to have him go home with her. She never askt for the swifts. Coming home the master askt her if she had seen your last letter. She said yes, and began to laugh and talk about you, just as though I was no relation. She said she guessed them legislaters would try to make a Governor out of you next, if you staid there much longer. One of them steers you sold to Jacob Small that week you went to Portland died t'other day; and he says if we've no Governor this year he won't- pay you a cent for 'em. So you have lost your steers and Jemime Parsons, jest by your dal- lying about there among them legislaters. I say you had better come home and see to your own business. I s'pose father and brother Ephraim would like to have you stay there all inter and tell 'em about the Governors and legislaters, but aunt wants her tea, and I want my cotton cloth, so I wish you'd make haste home and bring 'em. Your loving cousin, NABBY. To Mr. JACK DowNG. OUT OF THE SENATE. 63 LETTER V. MR. DOWNING TELLS WHAT A HOBBLE THE LEGISLATURE GOT INTO IN TRYING TO MAKE SO MANY GOVERNORS. PORTLAND, Feb, 1, 1830. To Cousin Ephraim Downzng, up in Downingville DEAR COUSIN EPHRAIM:-I spose you expected me to write to you; agin long afore now and tell' you something more about these Legislaters, and I meant to, but I couldn't very well; for I'll tell you jest how 'twa. Some days, when the Legis- later would get into a plaguey hobble, I would think to myself, well, soon as theyget'out of this snarl, I'll write to cousin Ephraim and tell him all about it; but before they got fairly out of that, they'd be right into another; and if I waited till next day to see how that ended, my keesers I before night they'd all be higgledy piggle, in a worse hobble than they'd ever been in afore. So if I wait to tell you how it comes out, I believe I shall have to wait till haying time. Another thing I've been waiting for, was to tell you who was Gover- nor. But, O dear, I can't find out half so much about it now, here in this great city of Portland, where all the Governors live, as I could six months ago among the bear-traps and log houses in our town, way back in the woods. Last August, you know, according to the papers, we were going to have two Governors right off, sure as rates-Mr. Hunton and Mr. Smith. Well, now it's got to be the first of February, and we haven't got one yet. And, although the Governor-makers , " ^ '.:1 page: 64-65[View Page 64-65] 64 MY I rlMk'Yr YEARS have had four or five under way for a month past, some think it very doubtful whether they will get one don, so as to be fit to -use this year. There's Mr. Hunton, and Mr. Smith, and -Mr. Cutler, and Mr. Goodenow, and Mr. I Hall, have all been partly made into Governors; but when in all creation any of 'em will be finished, I guess it would puzzle a Philadelphy lawyer to tell. I stated in my letter to Uncle Joshua, that there were two very clever parties in the Legislater, the Democratic Republikans and the National Republikans; and they are so, and very industrious, and try to make things go on right; and I really believe, if the confounded Jacksonites and Huntonites didn't bother 'em so, they'd make us a Gover- nor as quick as I could make an ax-handle. It is enough to do anybody's heart good to see how kind and obliging these Democratic Republikans and National Republikans are to each other, and how each party tries to help the other along; and it's enough to make anybody's blood boil to see the Jack- sonites and the Iuntonites, jest like the dog in the manger, because they can't eat the hay themselves, snap at these two clever parties the moment either of 'em sets out to take a mouthful. I'll jest give you an instance of the kindness that these two clever parties show to each other. You know the Constitution says when we haven't any Governor the Presi- dent of the Sinnet must be'Governor, and when we haven't any President of the Sinnet, the Speaker of the House must be Governor. So when Governor Lincoln died Mr. Cutler was Governor for awhile, because he was last year President of the Sinnet. Mr. Goodenow is a National Republikan, and when he was elected Speaker of the House, the Democratic Republikans told him as there was no President of the Sinnet OUT OF THE SENATE. 65 elected yet, it belonged to him to be Governor, and tried as hard as though he had belonged to their own party, to en- courage him to-go right into the Council Chamber and do the Governor's business. But the National Republikans didn't i dare to let him go, for he was elected Speaker by only one majority, and they said if he shouldleave the chair, it wouldn't : be five minutes before a Jacksonite would be whisked into it, and then the two clever parties would all be up a tree. Well, jest so 'twas in the Sinnet after Elder Hall was elected Presi- dent, only the bread was buttered on t'other side. Elder Hall is a Democratic Republikan, and there was a great deal tougher scrabble to elect him than there was to choose the Speaker of the House. But as soon as he was elected, the National Republikans went to him very kindly, and said, "Elder Hall, by the provisions of the Constitution you are now fairly Governor of the State till another Governor is qualified. Don't be bashful about-it, but please to walk right into the council chamber, and do the Governor's business." But the Democratic Republikans said that would never do, for if he should, the Sinnet Board would be capsized in an instant and the Huntonites would rule the roast. So there was a pair of Governors spoilt when they were more than half made, jest by the mischief of the Jacksonites and Huntonites. And the consequence is, that Mr. Cutler has to keep doing the - Governor's business yet, whether he wants to or not, and whether it is right for him to or not. They say the poor man i is a good deal distressed about it, and has sent to the great Judges of the Supreme Court to know whether it's right for him to be Governor any longer or not. If the Judges should say he mus'nt be Governor any longer, we shall be in a dread 3 * ' t? page: 66-67[View Page 66-67] " MY THRTY YEARS ful pickle. Only think, no Governor, and no laws, but every. body do jest as they're a mind to. Well, if that should be 4the case, I know one thing, that is, Bill Johnson will get one good flogging for calling me a mean puppy and a coward last summer; I've longed to give it to him ever since; and if the Legislater don't make a Governor this winter, I shall come right home, and Bill must look out. What a pity 'tis they should waste so much time trying to make so many Gover- nors; for, if they should make a dozen, we shouldn't want to use but one this year; and it is thought if they had all clapt to and Forked upon one instead of working upon so many, they might have had him done more than -three weeks ago. Your lovin cousin, JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENTC, 67 ETTER VI. MR. DOWNING DESCRIBES A SAD MSHAP THAT BEFELL THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES.* PORTLAND, Tuesday, Feb. 2, 1830. DEAR COUSIN EPHRAIM:--I have jest time to write you a short postscript to a letter that I shall send you in a day or two. We have had a dreadful time here to-day. You know the wheels of Government have been stopt here for three or four weeks, and they all clapt their shoulders under to-day and give 'em a. lift; and they started so hard, that as true as you're alive they split both Legislaters right in tu. Some say they are split so bad they can't mend 'em again, but I hope they can though; I shall tell you all about how 'twas done, in a day or two. I've been expecting a letter from you, or some of the folks, sometime. Your hearty cousin, JACK DOWNING. * EDrITORL NoTE.-After a stormy debate in the House in relation to form- ing a Convention of the two branches to fill the vacancies in the Senate, the National Republicans finally carried the day; whereupon the Democratic Republicans, having remonstrated to the last, took their hats and marched out of the House in a body, about sixty in number, headed by Mr. Smith, of Nobleborough. The National Republicans of the two branches, however, held the Convention, and filled the vacancies in the Senate, and the next day the Democratic Republicans returned to their seats. page: 68-69[View Page 68-69] 68 MY THBTY YEARS LETTER VII. AFFAIRS TAKE A MORE FAVORABLE TURN. PORTLAND, Feb. 3, 1830. COUSIN EPHRAIM:-I- thought I would jest write you another little postscript to my letter that I was going to send you in a day or tu, and let you know that the Legislaters wan't split so bad as some folks tho't for. They've got 'em both mended agin, so that they set 'em agohng to-day afore noon. But in the afternoon, that Legislater they call the Sinnet got stuck, and in trying to make it go, it rather seemed to crack a little; so they stopt short till to-morrow. It's been jostled about so, and got so weak an' rickety, some are afraid it will give out yet, or split in tu agin. JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE. 69 LETTER VIII. MRS. DOWNING URGES HER SON TO COME HOME. DOWNINGVILLE, Feb. 6, 1830. MY DEAR SON :-It's a good while since I writ a letter, and I almost forget how; but you stay down there to Portland so long, I kind of want to say something to you. I have been churning this morning, and my hand shakes so I can't hardly hold my pen still. And then I am afraid the news I've got to tell will be such a blow, to you, it makes me feel sort of narvous. Last Sunday the schoolmaster and Jemime Parsons had their names stuck up together in the meeting-house porch. Now I hope you won't take on, my dear Jack, for if I was you, I should be glad to get rid of her so. I guess she's- rather slack, if the truth was known ; for I went in- there one day, and she'd jest done washing the floor ; and I declare, it looked as gray as if she'd got the water out of a mud puddle. And then she went to making pies without washing her hands or shifting her apron. They made me stop to supper, but I never touched Jemime's pies. There's Dolly Spaulding, I'm sure she's likelier looking than Jemime Parsons, if 'twant for that habit she's got of looking two ways at once. If she's making a soup, one eye is always in the pot, if t'other does look up the chimney. She's as good a cook as ever was born, and neat as wax-work. Sally Kean was to our house spinning linen t'other day, because I burnt my hand so bad trying out lard I couldn't hold the thread, and she said Dolly had more page: 70-71[View Page 70-71] 70 MY THRTY YEARS sheets and pillow-cases than you could count for one while, and she is always making blankets and coverlids, She has sold footings enough to buy her half a dozen silver spoons and a case of knives. When I was young such a gal would had a husband long ago. The men didn't use to ask if a gal looked one way, or two ways with her eyes, but whether she was neat and smart; only if she had thin lips and peaked nose, they were sometimes a little shy of her. O, Jack, I'm afraid these Legislaters will be the ruination of youl 'Twill make you jest like your-Uncle Joshua. You know he had rather stand and dispute about politiks any time, than work on his farm, and talking will never build a stone wall or pay our taxes. I don't care so much about the shushon as your poor cousin Nabby does about the cotton cloth. But your father has got the rumatiz dreadfully this winter; and it's rather hard for him to have to cut all the wood and make the fires this cold weather. I can't see what good 'twill do for you to stay in Portland any longer, and I think you had better come home and see a little to the work on the farm. Your loving mother, MARY DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE. 71 LETTER IX. MR. DOWNING TELLS ABOUT TRIGGING THE wH14',m OF GOVERNMENT. PORTLAND, Thursday, Feb. 11; 1830. DEAR COUSIN EPHRAIM:-I've wrote you two postscripts since I wrote you a letter, and the reason is, these Legislaters have been carryin on so like all possest, and I've been in looking at 'em so much, I couldn't get time to write more than three lines at once, for fear I should be out of the way, and should miss seeing some of the fun. But, thinkin you'd be tired of waiting, I tried to get the printer to send my letter yester- day; but he told me right up and down he couldn't. I told him he must, for I ought to sent before now. But he said he couldn't and wouldn't, and that was the upshot of the matter, for the paper was chock full, and more tu, of the Governor's message. Bless my stars, says I, and have we got a Gover- nor done enough so he can speak a message? Yes, indeed we have, says he, thanks be to the two great Republikin parties, who have saved the State from the anarkee of the Jacksonites and Huntonites; the Governor is done, and is jest a going into the Legislater, and if you'll go right up there, you can see him. So I pushed in among the crowd, and I got a pretty good squeezin tu; but I got a good place, for I could elbow it as well as any on 'em. And I hadn't been there five minutes, seemingly, before we had a Governor sure enough; and a good stout, genteel looking sort of a man he was tu, as you would see in a whole regiment, taking in captains and all. Nobody page: 72-73[View Page 72-73] t MY THRTY YEARS disputed that he was finished pretty workmanlike; and he ought to befor they'd been long enough about it. -So they concluded to swear him in, as they call it, and he took a great oath to behave like a Governor a whole year. Some say the wheels of Government will go along smooth and easy now, as a wheelbarrow across a brick yard ; but some shake their heads, and say the wheels will be jolting over rocks and stumps all winter yet; and I don't know but they will, for the Governor hadn't hardly turned his back upon 'em and gone out, before they went right to disputing agin as hard as ever, They took up that everlasting dispute about Mr. Roberts hav- ing a seat; for, if you'll believe me, they've kept that poor man standing there till this time. I'll tell you how 'tis, Cousin Ephraim, we must contrive some way or other to keep these Jacksonites and Huntonites out of the Legislater another year, or we shall be ruin'd ; for they make pesky bad work, trigging the wheels of Govern- nent. They've trigged 'em so much that they say it has cost the State about fifty thousand dollars already, more than 'twould if they'd gone along straight without stopping. So you may tell Uncle Joshua that besides that bushel of corn he lost in betting about the Speaker, he'll have to shell out as much as two bushels more to pay the cost of trigging the wheels. Jingoe I sometimes when I've, seen the wheels chocked with a little trig not bigger then a cat's head, and the whole Le- gislater trying -with all their might two or three days, and couldn't start it a hair, how I've longed to hitch on my little speckled four-years-old, and give 'em a pull; if they wouldn't make the wheels fly over the trigs in a jiffy, I won't guess agin. T'other day, in the great convention, when both Legis- OUT OF THE SENATE. 13 laters met together to -chuse some Counsellors, Mr. Boutelle and Mr. Smith, of Nobleborough, tried to explain how 'twas that the wheels of Government were trig'd so much. Mr. Boutelle, as I have told you afore, is a National Republikan, and Mr. Smith is a Democratic Republikan. They differed a little in their opinion. Mr. Boutelle seemed to think the trigs were all put under by one class of politicians, and from what he said, I took it he meant the Jacksonites. He said ever since the Legislater began, the moment they started the wheels, that class of politicians would throw under a chock and stop 'em; and which ever way they turned, that class of politi- cians would meet 'em at every corner and bring 'em up all standin. Mr. Smith seemed to think another class of politi- cians had the greatest hand in it, and it was pretty clear that he meant the Huntonites. He said, when they first got here that class of politicians sot the wheels of Government rolling the twrong way; they put the big wheels forward, and the Legislater had been going backwards ever since, jest like a lobster. And the Huntonites not only trig'd the wheels, when- ever they begun to roll the right way ; but as soon as the "blessed Governor" was -done they trig'd -him tu; and though he had been done four days, they wouldn't let him come into the Legislater so that their eyes could be blest with the sight of him. So from what I can find out, the Jacksonites and Huntonites both are a troublesome, contrary set, and there must be some way contrived to keep 'em out of the Legislater in future. It seems soon after you got my first letter, Uncle Joshua tackled up, and started off to Boston with a load of turkeys and apple-sass. I had a letter from him t'other day, as long as page: 74-75[View Page 74-75] 74 NY THPTUY YEARS all out-doors, in the Boston Advertiser. He says he got more for the turkeys than he expected tu; but I think it's a plaguey pity he didn't bring 'em to Portland. I know he'd got more than he could in Boston. Provision kind is getting up here wonderfully, on account of these Legislaters being likely to stay here all winter; and some think they'll be here half the summer tu. And then there's sich a cloud of what they call lobby members and office-hunters that the butchers have got frightened, and gone to buying up all the beef and pork they can get hold on, far and near, for they are afraid a famine will be upon us next. Howsomever, Uncle Joshua did well to carry his " puckery apple-sass" to Boston. He couldn't get a cent for't here; for everybody's puckery and-sour enough here now. Give my love to father and mother and cousin Nabby. I shall answer their letters as soon as I can. Your lovin cousin, JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE. 15 LETTER X. MR. DOWNING ADVISES UNCLE JOSHUA TO HOLD ON TO HS BUSHEL OF CORN, BECAUSE THE LEGISLATURE HAD BEGUN TO "RIP UP THEIR DUINS." PORTLAND, Friday, Feb. 12, 1830. SW-T This with care and speed. DEAR UNCLE :-If you haven't paid over that are bushel of corn yet that you lost when you bet Mr. Ruggles would be Speaker, hold on to it for your life, till you hear from me agin, for I aint so clear but you may save it yet. They've gone to rippin up their duins here, and there's no knowing but they may go clear back to the beginning and have another tug about Speaker. At any rate, if your bushel of corn isn't gone out of your crib yet, I advise you by all means to keep it there. Tell 'Squire N. the question isn't settled yet; and you won't shell out a single kernel till it is fairly nailed and clinched, so it can't be ript up agin. I'll tell you what 'tis, Uncle Josh, the Supreme Court beats the Jacksonites and Huntonites all hollow for trigging the wheels. You know, after they had such a tussle for about a week to choose Elder Hall President of the Sinnet, and after he come in at last all hollow, for they said he had a majority of eight out of sixteen, they went on then two or three weeks nicely, duin business tie and tie, hard as they could. Then up -steps the Judges of the Supreme Court and tells Mr. Hall he was Governor, and \. * - .;' page: 76-77[View Page 76-77] MY THRTY YEARS ought to go into the Council Chamber. They seemed to be a little bit thunder struck at first. But they soon come to agin, and Elder Hall got out of the chair, and Mr. Kingsbury got into it, and they jogged along another week, duin business as hard as ever. They said all the chairs round the table ought to be filled, so they changed works with the House, and made four more Sinneters. So having four good fresh hands come in, they took hold in good earnest and turned off more business in two days than they had done in a month be- fore. Then up steps the Supreme Court agin, and tells 'em their cake is all dough; for they hadn't been duin constitutional. This was yesterday, and it made a dreadful touse. They went right to work rippin up and tarein away what they'd been duin; and before nine o'clock in the evening they turned out the four new Sinneters, out of their chairs, and appointed a committee to begin to make four more. They took hold so ha'sh about it, I s'pose some of the rest of the Sinneters begun to be afraid they should be ripped up tu; so they cleared out, I guess near about half on 'em, and haven't been seen nor heard of to-day. Some of 'em that had more courage went in and tried to du business; but there wasn't enough of 'em to start an inch. They sent a man all round town in the forenoon and afternoon to tell 'em to come in and go to work, but he couldn't find hide nor hair of one of 'em. Elder Hall said he guessed they must be somewhere in a convention. Some say they'll rip up the new Counsellors next, and then the Governor, cause the new Sinneters helpt make 'em all. But there's one comfort left for us, let the cat jump which way 'twill; if Mr. Hunton is'nt a constitutional Governor, Elder OUT OF THE SENATE. . 7 Hall is; the Judges have nailed that fast. So I think Bill Johnson will get off with a whole skin, for I shan't dare to flog him this year. If they go clear back to the Speaker and decide it in favor of your bushel of corn, I shall let you know as soon as possible. Your loving neffu, JACK DOWNING. page: 78-79[View Page 78-79] 78 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER XI. MR. DOWNING DESCRIBES SOME QUEER DUINS IN THE SENATE.* PORTLAND, Wednesday, Feb. 17, 1830. To Cousin Ephraim Downing zp in Downingville: DEAR COUSIN EPHRAIM :-Here I am yet, and haven't much else to do, so I might as well keep writin to you; for I s'pose Uncle Joshua's in a peck of trouble about his bushel of corn. I'm .pesky 'fraid he'll lose it yet; for they don't seem to rip up worth a cent since the first night they begun. The truth was, they took hold rather tu ha'sh that night; and rippin up them are four new Sinneters so quick, they scart away four or five more old ones, so they didn't dare to come in again for tu days. And that threw 'em all into the suds, head and ears. It was worse than trigging the wheels, for it broke the Sinnet * EDITORIL, NOTE.-The Democratic Republicans insisted that the Conven- tion which filled the vacancies in the Senate was not constitutional, and refused to recognize the new members at the Board, and the President refused to count their votes. After considerable turmoil the four new Senators with- drew; in consequence of which several others of the same party withdrew also, so that there was not a quorum left to do business. After two or three days, however, they returned, and the new Senators re-asserted their claims to a seat. Great confusion ensued; the President refused to count their votes; and taking the votes of the other members he declared the Senate ad- journed. The National Republicans refused to consider it an adjournment, kept their seats, and began to talk of re-organizing the Senate by choosing a new President. Elder Hall, therefore, fearing the chair would be immediate- ly filled again if he left it, kept his seat, but still repeatedly declared the Senate adjourned. The particulars of the scene are more minutely described in the Major's letter. OUT OF THE SENATE. 19 wheel right in tu, and left it so flat that all Job's oxen never could start it, if they hadn't got it mended again. They tried, and tried to keep duin something, but they couldn't du the leastest thing. One time they tried to du something with a little bit of a message that was sent to 'em on a piece of paper from the House. The President took it in his hand, and held it up, and asked 'em what was best to du with it. Some of 'em motioned that they'd lay it on the table ; but come to con- sider on it, they found they couldn't according to the Consti- tution, without there was more of 'em to help; for they hadn't got a korunm. They said they couldn't lay it on the table, nor du nothin at all with it. I was afraid the poor old gentleman would have to stand there and hold it till they got the wheel mended agin. But I believe he finally let it drop on the table; and I s'pose there was nothin in the Constitution against that. They got the wheel mended Monday about eleven er clock, so they could start along a little. But them are four new Sinneters that they ript up Thursday night, come right back agin Monday, and sot down to the great round table ; and stood tu it through thick and thin, that they wan't ript up and no such thing. Well, this kicked up a kind of a bobbery among 'em, so they thought they'd try to 'journ. The Presi- dent counted 'em, and said they were 'journed, and might go out. One of the new Sinneters said the President didn't count right, and they wan't 'journed a bit; and they must set still and have an overhauling about it. So they set down agin, all but four or five Democratio. Republicans, that put on their hate and great coats and stood backside of the room. The room was chock full of folks look- page: 80-81[View Page 80-81] 80 MY THRTY YEARS ing on, and the President told 'em the Sinnet was journed and they might as well go out, but they did not seem to keer tu, and they put their hats on and began to laugh like fun. The President sot still in his cheer, for I s'pose he thought if he left it some of them are roguish fellers would be gettin' into it. The man that keeps order told the folks they must take i:ib ELDER HALL ADJOURNING THE SENATE. their hats cff when they were in the Sinnet ; but they said they wouldn't 'cause thie Sinnet was ajourned. Then the man went and asked the President if the Sinnet was ajourned, and the President said 'twas, and there was no doubt about it. And the spectators felt so tickled to think they could OUT OF TEE SENATE. 81 weai their hats when the Sinneters were setting round the great table, that they kind of whistled a little bit all over the room. Finally, after settin about half an hour, another man got up and motioned to adjourn, and the President got up and put it to vote agin. He told 'em if they wanted to ajourn they must say ah, and they all said ah this time, and cleared out in five minutes. But about this rippin up business ; instead of rippin up the Counsellors, as some- thought they would, both Legislaters met together to-day, and called in four of the Counsellors, and nailed 'em down harder with an oath. They've sot the committees to work like fun now, and it's thought they'll turn off business hand over hand ;-for you know it's almost March, and then the great Supreme Court meets here. And they say they have a grand jury that picks up all disorderly and mischievous folks, and carries Yem into court, and the court puts 'em in jail., These Legislaters have been cutting up such rigs here all winter, that they begin to look pretty -shy when anything is said about the first of March, and I don't -believe the grand' jury'll be able to find a single mother's son of 'em when the court gets here. From your cousin, JACK DOWNING. 4 page: 82-83[View Page 82-83] 82 MY To..LRTY YEARS LETTER XII. MR. DOWNING TELLS WHAT IT MEANS TO SET UP A CANDIDATE FOR OFFICE. PORTLAND, Tuesday, March 16, 1830. To Unclde Joshua Downing up in Downingville : -DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :-There's a hot time ahead. I almost dread to think of it. I'm afraid there's going to be a worse scrabble next summer to see who shall go to the State husk- ing, than there was last. The Huntonites and Smithites are determined to have each of 'em a Governor agin next year. They've sot up their candidates on both sides ;. and who in all the world should you guess they are? The Huntonites have sot up Mr. Hunton, and the Smithites have sot up Mr. Smith. You understand what it means, I s'pose, to set up a candidate. It means the same as it does at a shooting match to set up a goose or a turkey to be fired at. The rule of the game is, that the Smithites are to fire at Mr. Hunton, and the Huntonites are -tfire at Mr. Smith. They think it will take a pretty hard battle to get them both in. But both parties say they've got the constitution on their side, so I think likely they'll both beat. They've been piling up a monstrous heap of ammunition this winter-enough to keep 'em firing all summer; and I guess it won't be long before you'll see the smoke rising all over the State, wherever there's a newspaper. I think these newspapers are dreadful sm)ky things; they are enough to OUT OF THE SENATE. 83 blind anybody'u eyes any time. I mean all except the- Daily Courier, that I send my letters in; I never see much smoke in that. But take the rest of the papers that talk about poli- tics, and patriotism, and Republikanism and Federalism, and Jacksonism, and Hartford Conventionism, and let anybody read in one of 'em half an hour, and his eyes will be so full of smoke he can't see better than an owl in the sunshine . he wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a corn-stalk and the biggest oak tree in our pasture. Your neffu, JACK DOWNING. r?S page: 84-85[View Page 84-85] 84 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER XIII. MR. DOWNING TELLS HOW THE LEGISLATURE CLEARED OUT, AND HOW ELDER HALL WENT HOME. PORTLAND, Monday, March 22, 1830. To Couszn Ephrazm Downing up in Downingville: COUSIN EPHRAIM :-I kind of want to say a few more words to you about the Legislaters. You know they came-together here in the first of the winter in a kind of a stew, and they had storms and tempests among 'em all the time they staid here, and finally they went off Friday in a sort of whirlwind or harricane, I don't know which. They were dreadful kind of snappish the last day they were here ; they couldn't hardly touch a single thing without quarreling about it. They quar- reled about paying some of the folks they hired to work for 'emr; and they quarreled ever so long about paying them are four Sinneters that were chose in the convention ; and at last they got to quarreling like cats and dogs to see if they should thank the President and Speaker for all the work they've done this winter. But they had to thank 'em at last. And then Mr. Goodnow, the Speaker in that Legislater they call the House, got up and talked to 'em so pleasant, and kind, and scripture-like, it made 'em feel a little bad; some of 'em couldn't hardly help shedding tears. I tho't them are, that had been quarreling so, must feel a little sheepish. -That are Elder Hall, that was President of the Sinnet, seemed to be the most poplar man in the whole bunch of both OUT OF THE SENATE. 85 Legislaters. There wasn't one of the rest of 'em that could work it so as to make both parties like 'em. But, some how or other, he did. The National Republikans liked him so well that they all voted for him for President; and the Democrat- ic Republikans liked him so well that they all voted to thank him when they went away. And I don't Eo much wonder at it, for he seemed to me to be about the cleverest, good-natured old gentleman that ever I see. It's true the old gentleman had rather hard work to keep the wheels of Government going in the Sinnet this winter; and they would get trig'd every little while in spite of all he could do. I s'pose this pade him rath r shy of all kinds of wheels; for he wouldn't go home in a stage, nor a wagon, nor a shay. These kind of carts all have wheels, and I s'pose he thought they might get trig'd, and he wouldn't hardly get home all summer. So he concluded to go by water; and he-went aboard a vessel Saturday night. and sailed for Down East; and as true as you are alive, before the next day noon the wheels of the vessel got trig'd ; though they said the ves- sel didn't go on wheels, but some how or other it got trig'd, and back they came next day into Portland again, and there they had to stay till Aonday, because the wind didn't blow according to the constitution. But President Hall, you know, isn't the man to leave his post in time of difficulty; so he never adjourned, nor came ashore, but stuck to the rack till Monday, when a good constitutional breeze sprung up, and they sot sail again. And I wish him a pleasant passage home, and peace and happiness after he gets there; for, as I said afore, I don't think there's a cleverer man anywhere Down East. From your cousin, JACK DOWNING. page: 86-87[View Page 86-87] 86 MY THRTY YEARS "ETTEnK XIV.. MR. DOWNING HNTS TO UNCLE JOSHUA THAT HE HAS A PROSPECT OF BEING NOMNATED FOR GOVERNOR. PORTLAND, April 14, 1830. To Ucle Joshua Downing, up in Downingville: UNCLE JOSHUA :-There's one thing, uncle, that seems to wear pretty hard upon my mind, and plagues me a good deal; I haven't slept but little this tu three nights about it. I wish you wouldn't say anything about it up there amongst our folks, for if it should all prove a fudge, they'd be laughing at me. But I tell it to you, because I want your advice, as you've always read-the papers, and know considerable about political matters; tho', to be honest, I don't s'pose any one knows much more about politics by reading the papers, after all. But what I was goin to tell you is-now, uncle don't twist your tobacco chaw over to t'other corner of your mouth, and leer over your spectacles, and say, Jack's a fool-what I was goin to tell you is this: I see by a paper printed down to Bruns- wick, that they talk of nominating me for Governor to run down Smith and Hunton. Think of that, uncle; your poor neffu, Jack, that last summer was hoeing about among the potatoes, and chopping wood, and making stone walls, like enough be- fore another summer comes about will be Governor of the State. I shall have a better chance to flog Bill Johnson then, than I should last winter, if we hadn't had no Governor nor OUT OF THE SENATE. 87 no laws; for I s'pose a Governor has a right to flog anybody he's a mind to. But that's nither here nor there, Uncle ; I want your serious advice. If they nominate me, had I better accept? Sometimes I'm half afraid I shouldL't understand very well how to du the business; for I never had a chance to see any Governor business done, only what I see Elder Hall du in the Sinnet chamber last winter. Poor man, that makes me think what a time he had going home. I wrote to you before that he went by water, and that the vessel-got trig'd by an unconsti- tutional wind the first day, and had to come back again. And he must have found a good many hard trigs after that, for he didn't get home till 2d day of April. Where he was in that dreadful storm, the 26th of March, I have not heard. But I should think, after standing the racket he did last winter in the Legislater, and then this ere storm at sea, he need never to fear anything on land or water again in this world. I wish you'd write me what you think about my being a candidate for Governor, and whether you think I could get along with thebusiness. Considerable part of the busines: I shouldn't be a mite afraid but what I could du; that is- the turning out and putting in. .I know every crook and turn of that business; for I don't believe there's a boy in our county, though I say it myself, that's turned out and tied up more cattle than 1 have. And they say a Governor has a good deal of this sort of work to du. No more at present from your loving neffu, JACK DOWNING. page: 88-89[View Page 88-89] 88 M MY THRTY YEARS LETTER XV. UNCLE JOSHUA SHOWS REMARKABLE SKILL IN THE SCIENCE, OF POLITICS, AND ADVISES MR. DOWNING BY ALL -EANS TO STAND AS A CANDIDATE FOR GOVERNOR. DOWNINGVILLE, April 18th, 1830. To my neffu Jack Downing, at Portland: DEAR JACK :--I never felt nicer in my life than I did when I got your last letter. I did think it was a kind of foolish notion in you to stay down there to Portland all win- ter, and then hire out there this summer. I thought you'd bet- ter be at home to work on the farm ; for your father, poor old gentleman, is hauled up with the rheumatize so, he won't be able io du hardly a week's work this summer. But I begin to believe Jack knows which side his bread is buttered yet. For if you can only run pretty well as a candidate for Gover- nor, even if you shouldn't be elected, it will be worth more to you than the best farm in this county. It will be the means of getting you into some good office before long, and then you can step up, ye see, from one office to another till you get to be Governor. But if the thing is managed right, I'm in hopes you'll get in this time, and the Downings will begin to look up, and be somebody. It's a very good start, your being nominated in that are paper down to Brunswick. But there's a good deal to be done yet, to carry it. I'm older than you are, and have seen more of this kind of business done than you, and of course ought to know more about it. Besides, you know I've always been reading the papers. Well, in the OUT OFP THE SENATE. 89 first place, ycu must fix upon the name of your party; I'm thinking you better call it the Democratic .National Republican party, and then, ye see, you'll haul in some from both of the two clever parties in the State. As for the Jacksonites and Huntonites, I wouldn't try to get any support from them ; for after the rigs they cut up in the Legislater last winter the people back here in the country don't like 'em very well. I think it would hurt you to have anything to do with 'cm. Then you must get a few of your friends together in Poitland, no matter if there ain't no more than half a dozen, and pass some patriotic resolutions, and then publish the duins of the meeting in the -paper, headed, ITHE VOICE OF THE PEOPLE ; and then go on to say, "at a numerous and respectable meeting of Democratic National Republicans, held in Portland at such a time," &c., "Resolved, unanimously, That we have perfect confidence in the exalted talents, the unspotted integrity, and well-known patriotism of Mr. Jack Downing, [or perhaps it should be the Hon. Jack Downing,] and that we cheerfully recommend him to the people of this State as a candidate for the office of Gov- ernor. "Resolved, That his-well-known attachment to the interests, the principles, and usages of the Democratic National Repub- lican party, eminently entitles him to their confidence and support. "Resolved, As the sense of this meeting, that nothing short of the election of that firm patriot, the Hon. Jack Downing, can preserve the State from total, absolute, and irretrievable destruction "Resolved, That a county convention be called to ratify 4* page: 90-91[View Page 90-91] MY THRTY YEARS [ the doings of this meeting, and that the Democratic National Republicans in other counties be requested to call Conven- tions for the same purpose. "Resolved, That the proceedings of this meeting be pub- lished in all the Democratic National Republican newspapers il the State." We will then get up such a meeting in this town, and pass some more highly patriotic resolutions and send 'em down, and you must have 'em put into the paper, headed A VOICE FROM THE COUNTRY. And then we must get a few together somewhere, and call it a County Convention, and keep rolling the snow-ball over, till we wind up the whole State in it. Then, ye see, about the first of August we must begin to pin it down pretty snug in the papers. Kind of touch it up somehow like this: Extract of a letter from a gentleman of the first respectability in York County to the Central Committee in Portland. "The Democratic National Republicans here are wide awake ; York County is going for Mr. Downing, all hollow; we shall give him in this county at least a thousand majority over both Smith and Hunton." Another from Penobscot: "Three quar- ters of the votes in this county will be given to Mr. Downing; the friends of Smith and Hunton have given up the question, so satisfied are they that there is no chance for them." Another from Kennebec : "From information received from all parts of the State, upon which perfect reliance can be placed, we are enabled to state, for the information of our Democratic National Republican friends, that there is not the least shadow of doubt of the election of Mr. Downing. It is now rendered certain beyond the possibility of mistake, that he will receive from five to ten thousand majorityover both the other candidates." If this don't carry it, you'll have to hang up your fiddle till another year. And after the election is over, if you shouldn't happen to get hardly any votes at all, you must turn about with perfect indifference, and say the Democratic National Republicans didn't try-made no effort at all-but will un- doabtedly carry the election next year all hollow. P. S -If you get in I shall expect my son Ephraim to have the office of Sheriff in this county. The other offices we'll distribute at our leisure. Your affectionate uncle, JOSHUA DOWNING. page: 92-93 (Illustration) [View Page 92-93 (Illustration) ] -92 I MY THRTY YEARS LETTER XVI. MR. DOWNING GIVES HS OPINION ABOUT NEWSPAPERS. Extract of Letter to Uncle Joshua. PORTLAND, March 30, 1830. In one of my letters, you. know, I said newspapers were dreadfuill smoky things, and anybody couldn't read in 'em half an hour without having their eyes so full of smoke they couldn't tell a pig-sty from a meeting-house. But I'm thinking, after all, they are more like rum than smoke. You know rum will sometimes set quite peaceable folks together by the cars, and make them quarrel like mad dogs-so do the newspapers. Rum makes folks act very silly-so do the newspapers. Rum makes folks see double-so do the newspapers. Soinetimes rum gets folks so they can't see at all-so do the newspapers. Rum, if they take tu mudh of it, makes folks sick to the stomach-so do the newspapers. Rum makes folks go rather crooked, reeling from one side of the road to t'other-and the newspapers make one half the politicians cross their path as often as any drunkard you ever see. It was the newspapers, uncle Joshua, that made you bet about the Speaker last summer, and lose your bushel of corn. Remember, that, uncle, and don't believe anything you see in the papers this summer, unless you see it in the Daily Cou. rier. - i RUNN'INTG EXPRESS FRO3S DOWNIN'GVILLE TO PORTLAND. -t r -3 (3 " ( )\, page: 94-95[View Page 94-95] -. 3 - j - r OUT OF THE- SENAE. 95 DOCKYMENT. GRAND CAUCUS AT'DOWNINGVILLE--THE LONG AGONY OVER, AND THE NOMNATION OUT. From the Portland Courier of, July 21, 1830. We delay this paper something beyond the usual nour of publication in order to lay before our readers the important intelligence received yesterday from Downingville. This we have been able to accomplish, tho' not without extraordinary exertions and extra help. But the crisis is important-we had almost said appalling-and demands of every patriotic citizen of Maine the highest sacrifices in his power to make. The important proceedings of the grand convention at Down- ingville reached here, by express, yesterday, about a quarter before 3 o'clock, P. M., having traviled the whole distance, notwithstanding the extreme high temperature of the weather, at the rate of thirteen and a half miles an hour. And but for an unfortunate occurrence, it would undoubtedly have reached here at least three hours earlier. Capt. Jehu Downing, who, with his characteristic magnanimity and patriotism volun- teered to bring the express the whole way, having taken a very high spirited steed for the first ten miles, was unfortun- ately thrown to the ground in attempting to leap a barrier which lay across the road. Two of his ribs were broken by the fall, and his right arm so badly fractured that it is feared amputation must be resorted'to, besides several other severe contusions on various parts of the body. We are happy to hear, however, that Dr. Zachariah Downing, who, on hearing the melancholy intelligence, very promptly repaired to the spot to offer his professional services, pronounces the Captain page: 96-97[View Page 96-97] 96 MY THNRT YEARS out of danger, and also that the Captain bears his misfortune with his accustomed fortitude, expressly declaring that the only regret he feels on the occasion is the delay of the express. Here is patriotism, a devotedness to the welfare of the coun- try, and -to genuine Democratic National Republican princi- ples, worthy of the 'days of the Revolution. Lieut. Timothy Downing forwarded the express the remainder of the way with tne utmost dispatch, having run down three horses, one of which died on the road. But we keep our read- era too long from the gratifying intelligence received. GRAND DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL REPUBLICAN CONVENTION. DOWNINGVILLE, Monday, July 19, 1830. At a large and respectable meeting of the Democratic Na- tional Republicans of Downingville and the neighboring parts of the State, convened this day at the centre school-house, the meeting was called to order by the venerable and silver-haired patriarch, old Mr. Zebedee: Downing, who had not been out to a political meeting beforeo for the last twenty-five years. The ? venerable old gentleman stated, in a few feeling remarks, the object of the meeting ; t hat he had not meddled with politics since the days of Jefferson@; but that now, in view of the awful calamities which threatened to involve our country in total ruin, he felt it his duty, the little remaining time he might be spared from the grave, to lift up his voice and his example before his children, grand-children, and great grand. children whom he saw gathered around him, and encourage them to serve the country for which he had fought and bled' in his younger years. After the enthusiastic applause elicited by these remarks, the old gentleman:c'alled for the nomination OUT OF THE SENATE. I 97 of a chairman, and JOSHUA DOWNING, Esq., was unanimously called to the chair, and tMr. Ep/raim Downing appointed Sec- retary. On motion of Mr. Jacob Downing, voted, that a committee of five be appointed to draft resolutions to lay before this L W i ' I it' a ihbl 5LIi. GRAND CAUCUS AT DOWNINGVILLE. meeting. Whereupon Mr. Jotham Downing, Ichabod Down- ing, Zenas Downing, Levi Downing, and Isaiah Downing were appointed said committee, and after retiring about five min- page: 98-99[View Page 98-99] 98 MY THRTY YEARS utes, they returned and reported the following preamble and resolutions: "Whereas, an awful crisis has arrived in the political affairs of our country, our public men all having turned trait- ors, and resolved to ruin the country, and make us and our children all slaves forever; and whereas, our ship of State and our ship of the United States are both driven with tremen- dous violence before the fury of the political tempest, and are just upon the point of being dashed upon the breakers of po- litical destruction; and whereas, nothing short of the most prompt and vigorous exertions of the patriotic Democratic National Republicans of this State and of the United States can avert the impending danger, "And whereas, the Jacksonites and Adamsites, and Hun tonites, and Smithites, have so multiplied in the land, an(c brought things to such a pass, that our liberties are unques tionably about to receive their doom forever; therefore, "Resolved, That it is the highest and most sacred duty of every patriotic Democratic National Republican in the Stat. to arouse himself and buckle on his political armor, and make one last, one mighty effort to save the State and the country. and place the Constitution once more upon a safe and firr foundation. "Resolved, That the awful crisis of affairs in this State re quires a firm, devoted patriot, a high minded and gifted states man, and a uniform, unwavering Democratic National Repub likan for chief magistrate- -OUT OF THE SENNA'TE. UV "Resolved, That in this awful crisis, we believe the eyes of all true patriots are turned upon THE HON. JACK DOWNING, late of Downingville, but since last winter a resident in Port land, the capital of the State. "Resolved, That we have the fullest confidence in the tal- ents, integrity, moral worth, tried patriotism, and unwavering and unchangeable sterling Democratic National Republican- ism of the Hon. Jack Downing, and that his election to the office of Governor in September next, and nothing else, can save the State from total, unutterable, and irretrievable ruin. "Resolved, therefore, That we recommend him to the elec- tors of this State as a candidate for said office, and that we will use all fair and honorable means, and, if necessary, will not stick at some a little dishonorable, to secure his election. "Resolved, That it be recommended to all the patriotic, Democratic National Republicans throughout the State, to be up and doing; to call county meetings, town meetings, school district meetings, and village and bar-room meetings, and proceed to organize the party as fast as possible, by ap- pointing standing committees, and central committees, and corresponding committees, and bearers and distributors of hand-bills, and, in short, by doing everything that the good of the cause and the salvation of the country requires. "Resolved, conditionally, That in case General Jackson should be likely to be re-elected, we highly and cordially ap- prove of his Administration, and believe him to be second to none but Washington; but in case he should stand no chance of re-election, this resolve to be null and void. "Resolved, That the thanks of this Convention be present- \ I page: 100-101[View Page 100-101] 100 MY THRTY YEARS ed to Miss Nabby Downing, for the use of her school-room this afternoon, she having with a generous patriotism dis- missed the school for that purpose. "Resolved, That the proceedings of this Convention, signed by the Chairman and Secretary, be published in the Portland Daily Courier, the official organ of the Hon. Jack Downing's correspondence, and any other genuine Democratic National Republican papers in the State. "JOSHUA DOWNING, Chairman. "Attest : EPHRAIM DOWNING, Secretary." We are assured by Lieutenant-Timothy Downing, with whom we had a short interview, that the best spirit prevailed in the Convention ; not a dissenting voice was heard, and all the resolutions passed unanimously. We add an extract or two from private letters. ! From Ephraimn Downing to the Hon. Jack Downing. "Well, Jack, if you don't acknowledge we've done the thing up in style, you're no gentleman and not fit for Governor. I wish you to be very particular to keep the Sheriff's office for me. Father says cousin Jeremiah has thrown out some hints that he shall have the Sheriff's office. But butter my rist- bands, if you do give it to him, you'll go out of office again next year, that's positive. Jerry's a clear factionist, you may rely upon that. No, no, stick to your old friends, and they'll stick to you. I'm going to start to-morrow morning on an electioneering cruise. I shall drum 'em up about right. You only keep a stiff upper lip, and you'll come in all hollow." From Joshua Downing, Esq., to the Ion. J-ack Downing. "Dear Jack, things look well here; with proper exertions I think you may rely upon success. I am in great haste, and OUT OF THE SENATE. Vl -I vrite this jest to tell you to be sure and not promise a single i )ffice. to any mortal living, till I see you. These things must , )e managed very prudently, and you stand in need of the IT Counsel of your old uncle. I think I could do as much good - ,o the State by being appointed Land Agent, as any way; )ut I'll determine upon that when I see you. -i; N. B.-Make no promises. : J "Your affectionate uncle, - JOSHUA/"' * ' ' page: 102-103[View Page 102-103] 102 MY THRTY YEABR "ETTIES XV11. MR. DOWNING TELLS ABOUT THE PORTLAND TOWN-MEETING, AND HOW THE VOTES TURNED OUT. PORTLAND, SEPT. 15, 1830. DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA:--I suppose you would like to know something about how the election turned out down here. Soon as the bell rung, I sot out to go to the town hall, but before I got half way there, I met chaises, and wagons, and another kind of chaises, that went on four wheels, and was shut up close as a hen-coop, all driving t'other way; Jehu like. What is the matter? says I; who's beat? But along they went, snapping their whips without answering me a word, and by their being in such a terrible hurry I thought sure enough they had got beat, and the enemy was arter 'em. So I steered round into another street to get out of the way for fear they should get a brush at me; but there was as many more of 'em driving like split down that street tu. Where upon arth are they all going, says I to a feller that overtook me upon the full run. Going? says he; why to bring 'em to the polls, you goose; and away he went by me in a whisk. When he said poles, I thought that cousin Ephraim must have come in with a load, as they'd be likely to fetch a good price about this time, and I concluded all that running and driving was to see who should have the first grab at 'em. I called to him to tell me where Ephraim was, but he was out of hearing. So I marched along till I got to the town hall, and they were flocking in as thick as hops. When I got within two or three rods of the house a man come along and handed me a vote for Mr. Smith; I stept on the side-walk and another man handed me a vote for Mr. Hunton; and I went along towards the door and another man handed me a vote for Mr. Smith, and then another handed me one for Mr. Hunton. And then I went to go up stairs into the hall, and there was a row of about twenty men, and all of 'em gave me a vote, about one- half for Smith and one-half for Hunton. And before I got through the hall to the place where they were firing off their votes, they gave me about twenty more; so if I had been a mind to vote for Smith or Hunton I could have gin 'em a noble lift; but that,wnsn't what I was arter. I was'looking out for the interests of my constituents at Downingville. And when I come to see among so many votes not one of 'em had my name on it, I began to feel a little kind of streaked, I went out again, and I see the chaises and wagons kept coming and going, and I found out that bringing of 'em to the polls meant bringing of 'em to vote. And I asked a feller that stood there, who them are men, that they kept bringing, voted for. Why, says he, they vote for whichever goes arter 'em, you goose-head you. Ah, says I, is that the way they work it? And where do they bring 'em from? O, says he, down round the wharves, and the outskirts of the town and anywhere that they can catch 'em. Well, well, thinks I to myself, I've got a new rinkle, I see how this business is done now. So off I steered and hired a horse and wagon, and went to hunting up folks to carry to town meeting. And I guess before night I carried nearly fifty there, of one sort and another; and I was sure to whisper to every one of 'em jest page: 104-105[View Page 104-105] 104 OUT OF THE SENATE. as they got out of the wagon, and tell .'em my name was Jack Downing. They all looked very good-natured when I told 'em my name, and I thought to be sure they would all rote for me. But how was I thunderstruck when the vote was Leclared, and there was 1,008 for Mr. Smith, 909 for Mr. Hun- on, 4 for Mr. Ladd, and one or two for somebody else, and not rne for me. Now was'nt that too bad, uncle? Them are faith- ess politicians that I carried up to the town meeting I if I nly knew who they were, they should pay for the horse and vagon, or we'd have a breeze about it. Write soon, for I am anxious to know how they turned out n Downingville Your loving neffu, JACK DOWNING. ,i MY THRTY YEARS 105 LETTER XVIII. RETURN OF VOTES FROM DOWNINGVILLE-THE STIRS LOOK BRIGHTER. DOWNINGVILLE, Monday Eve., Sept. 13, 1830. To the Hon. Jack Downing, Portland: DEAR JACK :-I have just returned, pueg-and blowing, : rom town meeting, and have only time to tell you that we ,ave you a confounded good run here. If your friends in the est of the State have done their duty, you are elected by an werwhelming majority. The vote in this town for Governor x itood as follows . Hon. JAc DowNIN.. .................. 117Ti Hon. Samuel E. Smith... . ......... . - 000 Hon. Jonathan G. Hunton....................... 000 ' Capt. Jehu Downing is elected Representative; it was hought to be due to him by the party for his magnanimous Ixertions in carrying the express to Portland at the time you vere nominated by our grand convention. - In great haste, your uncle, JOSHUA DOWNING, . !- I'll' 4L page: 106-107[View Page 106-107] 106 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER XIX. MR. DOWNING TELLS HOW HE OT A NEW KINK INTO HS HEAD, IN CONSEQUENCE OF THE BLOW-UP OF PRESIDENT JACKSON'S FIRST CABINET. PORTLAND, April 26, 1831. DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :-I'm in considerable of a kind of a flusteration to-day, because I've got a new scheme in my head. New ideas, you know, are always apt to give me the agitations a little; so you mustn't wonder if my letter this time does have some rather odd things in it. I don't know when I've had such a great scheme in my head afore. But you know I was always determined to make something in the world; and if my friends 'll only jest stick by me, I shall make common folks stare yet. Some thought it was a pretty bold push my trying to get into be Governor last year; and some have laughed at me, and said I come out at the little end of the born about it, and that I'd better staid up to Downing- ville and hoed potatoes, than to be fishing about for an office and not get any more votes than I did. But they can't see through a millstone so fur as I can. Altho' I didn't' get in to be Governor, its made me known in the world, and made con- siderable of a great man of me, so that I shall stand a much better chance to get an office if I try again. But I must make haste and tell you what I am at, for I am in a great hurry. I guess you'll stare when I tell you the next letter you'll get from me will be dated at Washington, or else somewhere on the road between here and there. OUT OF THE SENATE. 0 O, uncle, we have had some great news here from Washing- ton; everybody's up in arms about it, and can't hardly tell what to think of it. They say the President's four great Secretaries have all resigned; only think of that, uncle. And they say their salaries were six thousand dollars a-year; only jest think of that, uncle. Six thousand dollars a year. Why, a Governor's salary is a fool to it. On the whole, I'm glad I didn't get the Governor's office. I shall start for Washington to-morrow morning; or I don't know but I shall start to-night, if I can get ready, and travel all night. It's best to be in season in such things, and I shall have to go rather slow, for I've got pretty considerable short of money, and I expect I shall have to foot it part way. I shall get there in about a fortnight, and I'm in hopes to be in season to get one of them are offices. I think it's the duty of all true Republikans that have the good of the country at heart, to take hold and help the President along in these trying difficulties. For my part, I am perfectly willing to take one of the offices, and I hope some other good men will come right forward and take the others. What a shame 'twas that them are Secretaries should all clear out, and leave the poor old General to do all the work alone. Why, uncle, they had no more patriotism than your old boss. But I musn't stop to parley about it now; what I want to say is, I wish you to write a recommendation to the President for me to have one of his offices, and go round as quick as you can and get all our friends at Downingville to sign it, and send it on to Washington 'as fast as possible; for it- would be no more than right that I should show the President some kind of recommendation before he gives me the office. I page: 108-109[View Page 108-109] 108 MY THRTY YEARS want you to tell the President that Iwe always been one of his strongest friends; and you know I always have spoke well of him, and in fact he is the best President we ever had. It might be well for you to quote this last sentence as an "extract from a letter of the Hon. Jack Downing." It would give the President some confidence in my friendship, and the "Ion." would convince him that I am a man of some stand- ing in this State, Now you keep up a good heart, uncle; you have always had to delve hard all your days- up there on the old farm, and you've done considerable to boost me up into an office, and if I get hold of these six thousand dollars a year, you shall have a slice out of it that will make your- old heart feel light again. I haven't named it to a single soul here except Aunt Sally, and I want it to be kept a profound secret till I get the office, so as to make them are chaps that have been a sneering at me here, stare like an owl in a thunder shower. And, besides, if it should leak out that I was going, I'm afraid somebody else might get the start of me, for there are always enough that have their mouths open when it rains such rich porridge. But it's like as not, the newspapers 'll blab it out before I get half way there. And you needn't think strange, if you see some of the Boston or New York papers in a few days saying, "The Hon. Jack Downing passed through this city yesterday, on his way to Washington. It is rumored that he is to be called upon to fill one of the vacant offices." But I must stop, for it is time I was picking up my duds for a start. Aunt Sally has been darning my stockings all the morning. Love to Aunt and cousin Nabby, and all of 'em. Good by. Your loving neffu, JACK DOWNING. 'OUT OF THE SENATE. 109 i LETTER XX. MR. DOWNING TELLS ABOUT THE TALK HE HAD WITH THE BOSTON EDITORS ON HS WAY TO WASHNGTON. CITY OF NEW YORK, May 3, 1831. DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :-I have got so fur at last, and a pretty hard run I've had of it to get here, I can tell ye. This running after officesiis pretty tuff work for poor folks. Some- times I think there aint much profit in it after all, any more than there iu in buying lottery tickets, where you pay a dollar and sometimes get four shillings back, and sometimes nothing. Howsomever I dounts mean to be discouraged yet, for if I should give out now and go back again, them are sassy chapsin Portland would laugh at me worse than they did afore. What makes me feel kind of down-hearted about it, is because I've seen in the newspapers that tu of them are good offices at Washington are gone a-ready. One Mr. Liv- ingston's got one of lem; and Mr. Woodbury that lives up in New Hampshire's got tother, and I'm considerable afraid the others will be gone before I get there. I want you to be sure and get my recommendation into the post-office as soon as you can, so it may get there as soon as I do. It's a week to-day since I started from Portland, and if I have good luck I'm in hopes to get there in about a week more. Any how, I shall worry along as fast as I can. I have to foot it more than three-quarters of the way, because the 'stage folks asks so much to ride, and my money's pretty near page: 110-111[View Page 110-111] "O MT THRTY YEARS gone. But if I can only jest get there before the offices are gone I think I shall get one of 'em, for I got a good string of recommendations in Boston as I come along. I never thought of getting any recommendations of strangers, till a man I was traveling with kind of talked round and round, and found out what I was after. And then, says he, if you want to make out, you must get the newspaper folks to give you a lift, for they manage these matters. And he told me I better get some of the Boston editors,to recommend me, or it would be no use for me to go. I thought the man was more than half right, so when I got into Boston I called round to see the editors. They all seemed very glad to see me, when I told 'em who I was, and I never see a better set of true Republikans any where in the-State of Maine. And when I told 'em that I was always a true Repub- likan, and my father and grandfather were Republikans be- fore me, they all talked so clever about patriotism, and our Republikan institutions, and the good of the people, that I couldn't help thinking it was a plaguey shame there should be any such wicked parties as Federalists, or Huntonites, or Jacksonites, to try to tare the country to pieces and plague the Republikans so. This don't include President Jackson. e isn't a Jackson- ite, you know; he's as true a Republikan as there is in Down- ingville. I had a talk with the Boston Patriot man first. He said he would give me a recommendation with a good deal of pleasure, and when I got my office at Washington I must stick to the good old Republikan cause like wax; and if all true Republikans were only faithful to the country, Henry Clay, the Republikan candidate,' will come in all hollow. He'll OUT OF THE SENATE. 1" be the next PFresident, says he, jest as sure as your name is ; Jack Downing. Then I went to kee the editor of the Boston Gazette. tHe said he certainly should be very happy to give me a recom- mendation ; and he trusted when I got to Washington, where I should have considerable influence, I should look well to the interests of the Republikan party. He said there-was an im- mense sight of intrigue and underhand work going on by the enemies of the, country to ruin Mr. Oalboun, the Republikan candidate for President. But he said they wouldn't make ! out; Mr. Calhoun had found out their tricks, and the Repub- likans of old Virginny and South Carolina were all up in arms . about it, and if we Republikans in the Northern States would only take hold "and fight for the good cause, Mr. Calhoun would be elected as' true as the sun will rise- to-morrow. , The next I went to see was the editor of the Boston States- al man. He seemed to be a little shy of me at first, and was afraid I wasn't a true Republikan; and wanted to know if I didn't run against Governor Smith last year down there in Maine. I told him I had seen Governor Smith a number of I times in Portland, but I was sure I never run against him in my life, and I didn't think I ever come within a rod of him. -- Well, he wanted to know if I wasn't a candidate for Govern- or in opposition to Mr. Smith.. I told him-no, I was a candi- date on the same side. "Wasn't you," said he, looking mighty sharp at me, "Wasn't you one of the iFederal candidates for Governor?"My stars, Uncle Joshua, I never felt my hair curl ; quicker than it did then. My hand kind of drawed back, and my fingers clinched as if I were jest agoing to up fistand knock him downn. To think that he should charge me with ; / ' l page: 112-113[View Page 112-113] "2 MY THRTY YEARS being a Federal Candidate! it was too much for flesh and blood, to bear. But I?cooled down as quick as I could, for fear it might hurt me about getting my office. I' told him I never was a Federal candidate, and there never was a drop of Federal blood in me; and I would run from a Federalist, if I should meet one, as quick as I would from poison. That's right, says he, I like that; that's good stuff, and he catched hold of my hand, and gave it such a shake, I didn't know but he'd a pulled it off. He said he would give me the best recommendation he could write, and when I got to Washington I must stick to the old Gineral like the tooth-ache, for the Federalists were intriguing desperately to root him out of his office and upset the Republikan party. If the Repub!kans could only be kept together, he said, President Jackson, the Republikan candi- date, could be elected as easy as a cat could lick her ear; but if we suffered ourselves to be divided it would be gone goose with us, and the country would be ruined. So you must stick to the re-election of Gineral Jackson, said he, at all events; and then he kind of whispered in my ear, and says he, in case Gineral Jackson should be sick or anything, you must remember that Mr. Van Buren is the Republikan candidate. I told him he never need to fear me ; I should- stick to the Republikan party through thick and thin. So I took my re- commendation and trudged along. I haven't time totday to tell you how I got along with the rest of the editors, and a thousand other things that I met with along by the way, and all the fine things in this great city, and so on. But I shall write to you again soon. Your loving neffu, JACK DOWNING. OUT OF TEE SENATE. 113 LETTER XXI. - MR DOWNING RELATES HS INTERVIEW WITH MAJOR NOAH, AT NEW-YORK,. WASHNGTON CITY, May 30, 1831. To the Portland Courier, if it ever gets there, away Down East in the State of Maine, to be sent to Uncle Joshua JDowning, up in Downingville, with care and speed. DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :-I've got here at last, to this great city, where they make offices, and Pm determined not to leave it till I get one. It isn't sich a great city, after all, as New. York, though they do a great deal more busin ess here than they do at New-York. I don't mean vessel business and trade, for there's no end to that in New-York, but in making offices and such like; and they say it's the most profitable business in the country. If a man can get hold of a pretty good office, he can get rich enough by it in three or four years, and not to have to work very hard neither. I tell you what, uncle, if I make out to my mind here, I shall come back again one of these days in a rather guess way than what I come on. I don't have to foot it again, I'll warrant you, and I guess poor Aunt Sally won't have to set up all night to mend my coat and darn my stockings. You'll see me coming dressed up like a lawyer, with a fine carriage and three or four hosses. And then them are chlaps in Portland that used to laugh at me so about being Governor, may sneeze at me if they dare to, and if they don't keep out of my way I'll ride right over sem. I [ 5* * \ ^ page: 114-115[View Page 114-115] "4 MY THRTY YEARS had a pretty tuff time coming on here. It's a long, tiresom( road through the Jarseys. I had to stop twice to get mn shoes tapt, and once to get an old lady to sow up a rip in mn coat while I chopped wood for her at the door to pay for it But I shan't mind all the hard work I've had of it, if I cai make out to come home rich. :z / '1 M-R. DOWNING EXCHANGING WORKS. I got a pretty good boost in Boston, as I writ you in m last, by the editors giving me recommendations. But it wa nothing at all hardly to- what I got in New York, for the gave me a public dinner there. I can't tlink what's th VJUT- Us uuii T ijSNAlT&. , 1l matter that it hasn't been published yet. Major Noah prom- ised me he'd have it all put into the New York Courier and Enquirer the very next day after I left New York, so that it should get to Washington as soon as I did; and now I've been here about a week and it hasn't come yet. If it doesn't come soon, I shall write an account of the dinner myself, and send it home and get it put in the Portland Courier. It was a most capital dinner, uncle; I don't know as I ever eat hartier in my life, for being pretty short of money I had pinched rather close a day or two, and, to tell the truth, I was as hungry as a bear. We had toasts and speeches, and a great many good things. I don't mean sich toast as they put butter on to eat, but toast to drink. And they don't exactly drink 'em neither; but they drink the punch and speak the toasts. I can't think Major Noah ieant to deceive me about pub- lishing the proceedings of the dinner, for he appeared to be a very clever man, though he was the funniest chap that ever I see. There wasn't a man in New York that befriended me more than he did a and he talked to me very candidly, and advised me all about how to get an office. In the first place, says he, Mr. Downing, you can't get any kind of an office at Washington unless you are a true blue genuine Democratic Republikan. I told him I had- recommendations coming to prove that I was all that. They are very strict, says he, in regard to that at Washington. If James Madison should apply for an office at Washington, says he, he couldL't get it. What, says I, him that was President I for it kind of startled me a little if such an old Republikan as he was couldn't get an office. It's true, says he, if James Madison should apply *)- . ' ; ip-.' page: 116-117[View Page 116-117] "6 - Y THRTY YEARS for an office he couldn't get it. Why not, says I? Because, says he, le has turnled Federalist. It's melancholy to think, says he, how many good old Republikans at the South are turning Federalists lately.' He said he was afraid there MAJOR NOAH AND MR. DOWNING. wasn't more than one true genuine old Democratic Republik n left in Virginny, and that was old Mr, Ritchie, of the Rich- mond Enquirer; and even he seemed to be a little wavering since Mr. Calhoun and some others had gone over. ^.*** - -A , , . PvUT OF THE SENATE. 11l Well, there's Mr. Clay, says I, of Kentucky, I don't think he'll ever flinch from the Republikan cause. Henry Clay, says he, turning up his nose, why he's been a Federalist this six years. No, no, Mr. Downing, if you think of going that gate% you may as well turn about and go home again before you go any further. What gate? says I. Why to join the Clay party, says he. I told him I never had sich a thought in my life. I always belonged to the Republikan party, and always meant to. He looked rather good-natured again when he heard that; and says he, do you know what the true Re- publikan doctrine is? I told him I had always had some kind of an idea of it, but I didn't know as I could explain it exactly. Well, says he, I'll tell you; it is to support Gineral Jackson for re-election, through thick and thin. That is the only thing that will save the country fronm ruin. And if Gineral Jackson should be unwell or any thing jest before election, so he could not be a candidate, the true Republikan doctrine is to support Mr. Van Buren. I told him very well, Le might depend upon my sticking to the Republikan party, all weathers. Upon that he set down and wrote-me a recom- mendation to the President for an office, and it almost made me blush to see what a master- substantial genuine Repub- likan he made me. I had a number more capital recom- mendations at New York, but I haven't time to tell you about 'em in this letter. Some were to Mr. Clay, and some io Mr. Van Buren, and some to Mr. Calhoun. I took 'em all, for I thought it -was kind of uncertain whose hands-I might fall into hereafter, and it might be well enough to have two or three strings to my bow. I haven't called on the President yet, though I've been here " :/* page: 118-119[View Page 118-119] "8 MY THRTY YEARS about a week. My clothes had got so shabby, I thought : better hire out a few days and get slicked up a'little. Thre( of the offices that I come after are gone slick enough, and the other one's been given away to a Mr. White, but he wouldn't take it; so I'm in hopes I shall be able to get in. And if : don't get that, there's some chance for me to get in to be Vice President, for they had a great Jackson meeting 'tother day and they kicked Mr. Calhoun right out doors, and iaid :hey wouldn't have him for Vice President no longer. Now some say they think I shall get it, and some think"Mr. Van Buren 'll get it. Howsomever, I feel pretty safe, for Major Noah told me if I couldn't get anything else, the President could easily make a foreign mission for me. Oh dear I uncle, it makes me feel kind of bad when I think how fur I've got from home. I shall call on the old Gineral in two or three days, and if I can make a dicker with him about the Office I'll let you know, Your lovin neffu, , JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SNATE. 119 LETTER XXII1.* MR. DOWNING TELLS HOW HE STRIPT UP HS SLEEVES AND DEFENDED MR. INGHAM ON HS FRONT' DOOR-STEPS, DURING THE AFTER-CLAP THAT FOLLOWED THE BLOW-UP OF GINERAL JACKSON'S FIRST CABINET. WASHNGTON CITY, June 21, 1831. To Uncle Joshua Downing, up in Downingville, or else to Cousin Nabby, it isn't much matter which, being that some-of it is aboit the ladies . DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :--ItV pretty trying times here. They carry on so like the old smoker, I don't hardly know what to make of it. If I hadn't said I wouldn't leave Washington till I got an office, I don't know but I should come-back to * IEDITORIAL NOTE.--It will be remembered, by those whose political remin- C iscences extend back so far, that General Jackson's first Cabinet blew up. In other words, the whole Cabinet resigned in a body. This came upon the country something like a thunder-clap. Very soon upon the heels of the thunder-clap came an after-clap, which:produced a sensation throughout the country scarcely inferior to that of the thunder-clap. The thunder-clap and the after-clap were believed to be intimately connected, and some even went so far as to say that the after-clap was the real cause of the thunder-cl'ap. Major Downing's letter gives some of the exciting scenes of the after-clap, and perhaps a few words should be added here explanatory of the whole affair. There was an inside view and an outside view to this Cabinet difficulty, as well as most other things in the world. The inside view, the Senatorial view, such as Colonel Benton would take in his "Thirty Years," was something like this: Mr. Calhoun, the Vice-President, and Mr. Van Buren, the Secre- tary of State, were rival competitors for the successorship to the office of President. It came to the knowledge of the President that a proposition had been made in Mr. Monroe's Cabinet to punish General Jackson for his con- duct and doings in Florida, in the Seminole War. For some time General page: 120-121[View Page 120-121] \- - 120 MY THRTY YEARS Downingville and go to planting potatoes. Them are Hun- tonites and Jacksonites down there in Maine last winter were pretty clever sort of folks to what these chaps are here. Cause down there if they; got ever so mad, they didn't do nothing but talk and jaw one another; but here, if anybody doesn't do to suit 'em, fact they'll up and shoot him in a minute. I didn't think getting an office was such dangerous kind of business, or I don't know as I should have tried it. Howsomever, it's neck or nothing with me now, and I must do something to try to get some money here, for I about as ' lieves die as to undertake to foot it away back agin clear to the State of Maine. And as the folks have to go armed here, Jackson believed that this proposition in the Cabinet came from Mr. Craw- ford, and that he was triumphantly defended by Mr. Calhoun and Mr. Adams, a statement having been published in a WesternFnewspaper to this effect. Afterward the General learned, on the authority of Mr. Crawford and from other sources, that it was Mr. Calhoun who made the proposition to punish him, and that he was protected in the Cabinet by Mr. CrawfQrd and Mr. Adams. And he believed, as did also Mr. Crawford, that the reverse and false statement in the papers had been published at the instigation of Mr. Calhoun. This, of course, produced a decided coolness, or rather a warm dif- ficulty, between the President and the Vice-President. Mr. Calhoun there- upon published a pamphlet, addressed to the people of the United States, to explain the cause of the difficulty, and charging Mr. Van Buren with being at the bottom of allthe mischief. The President and Vice-President were at sword-points, the members of the Cabinet were divided on the points of the quarrel-some of them were for Mr. Van Buren for the succession and some for Calhoun. An explosion was inevitable. The President had become at- tached to Mr. Van Buren, and was ready to do anything in the world for him. It was finally determined that there must be a re-organization of the Cabinet. Mr. Ingham, Secretary of the Treasury, Mr. Branch, Secretary of the Navy, and Mr. Berrien, Attorney-General, were in favor of Mr. Calhoun; - and Major Eaton, Secretary of War, and Mr. Barry, Postmaster-General, were in favor of Mr. Van Buren. In order to relieve the President from the necessity of dismissing any members of the-Cabinet, Mr. Van Buren proposed I OUT OF THE SENATE. 121 I want you to put my old fowling piece into the stage and send it on here as quick as possible. I hope you'll be as quick as you can about it, for if I getan office I shan't dare to take it till I get my gun. They come, pretty near having a shooting scrape here yesterday. The Telegraph paper said something about Mr. Eaton's wife. It was nothing that I should think they need to make such a fuss about; it only said that some of the ladies here refused to visit her. But some how or other it made Mr. Eaton as mad as a March hair. He declared he'd fight somebody, he didn't care who. The first man he happened to come at was Mr. Ingham. So he dared Mr. Ingham out to fight. Not to box, as they do sometimes up in Downingville, but to stand- and shoot at that the whole Cabinet should resign, which was promptly done. Their places were filled as follows: Edward Livingston, of Louisiana, Secretary of State; Louis McLane, of Delaware, Secretary of the Treasury; Lewis Cass, of Ohio, Secretary of War; Levi Woodbury, of New Hampshire, Secretary of the Navy; Amos Kendall, of Kentucky, Postmaster-General; Roger B. Taney, of Maryland, Attorney-General. Mr. Downing, who "footed it" from Portland to Washington for the express purpose of filling one of these offices, was a little too late, it seems, as other people are sometimes who go to Washington on a similar errand. So much for the inside view., The outside view of this matter, such as Mr. Downing would take in his "Thirty Years," and such as a good many outside folks took at the time, showed " a lady in the case." Mr. Eaton had married Mrs. Timberlake, widow of an officer of the navy, and Mr. Eaton and his wife were pets and proteges of President Jackson. But, in consequence of certain gossip or slanders about this lady, the wives of the other members of the Cabinet re- fused to visit or associate with her. Then, of course, " the fat was all in the fire." No Cabinet could stand an ordeal like that without an explosion. General Jackson was furious as a roaring lion, and Major Eaton a little more so. He challenged Mr. Ingham to a duel, but Ingham would not fight. Then followed the scenes of attempted redress with canes and bowie-knives, and an assault upon Mr. Ingham's house at night, which was so bravely de- fended by Mr. Downing, and so graphically described in his letter, and, we may add, so well delineated by our artist. page: 122-123 (Illustration) [View Page 122-123 (Illustration) ] 122 MY THRTY .YEARS each other. But Mr. Ingham wouldult touch to, and told hi le was crazy. That made Mr. Eaton ten times more mr than he was before; and he declared he'd flog him anyho whether he was willing or not. So he got a gang of gent men yesterday to go with him to the Treasury Office, whe Mr. Ingham does his writing, and waited there and in a gr( shop close by as much as two hours for a chance to catch hi and give it to him. Mr. Ingham was out a visiting in t] city, and when he got home his-folks told him what was goiI on, and begged him not to go to the office, for he would cc tainly be killed. "Poh," says he, "do you think I'm afraid ( them are blustering chaps? There's more smoke than fi there, I can tell ye; give me my pistols, it is time for me to p to the office." Some, of the ladies cried, and some almo fainted away. But he pacified 'em as well as he could, ai then set out for the :office, and three or four men went wi him, and I guess; they carried something under their arn that would make daylight shine through a feller pretty quic And I guess the gang of gentlemen waiting for him begi to smell a rat, for they cleared out pretty soon and nev touched him. But their courage came again in the evenin and this same gang of gentlemen turned out and marched r to Mr. Ingham's house, and threatened to burst the doors opt and drag him out by the-hair of the head and skin him aliv I thought this was carrying the joke rather too far, so I the I'd put in my oar; for when I see any body run upon too ha] I can't help taking their part. So I stepped up to Mr. Ingham's front door steps, and thre my hat down, and rolled up my sleeves, and spit on my hand and by that time the chaps began to stare at me a little. Ar page: 124-125[View Page 124-125] OUT OF THE SENATE. 125 now says I, "Major Eaton, this is quite too bad. A man's house is his castle. Here's Mr. Ingham in his house as peace- able as a lamb; he isn't a meddling with nobody, and you needn't think to drag him out here to-night, I can tell ye. If you really want to take a bit of a box, just throw away your Dowder and ball and here's the boy for you. I'll take a fist or i two with you and glad of the chance." "You impudent scoundrel," says he, "who are you? what i business is it to you what I done? Clear out, or I'll send you- where you ought to have been long ago." "Well, then, you'll send me into some good office," says I, for there's where I ought to have been more than two years - lgfO.2, " "- ' ' "Well," says he, " clear out;" and up he come blustering along toward the steps. But I -jest put my foot down, and doubled up my fist, and now, says I, "Major Eaton, it won't be healthy for you to come on to these steps to-night." Says he, "I'm going through that door whether or no d' says I, "you don't go through this door to-night, without you pass over the dead body of Jack Doowning, of the State of Maine." My stars, when they heard that, they dropt their heads as quick as though they had been cut off, for they didn't know who I was before. Major Eaton and the whole gang of gentlemen with him turned right about and marched away asS hist as mice. They were afraid I should have 'em all before e President to-day, and have 'em turned out of office; for it's - At whispered round' the city that the President sets a great . . ,al by me, and that I have a good deal of influence with him. This mnorning Mr. Ingham started for Philadelphy. Before left, he thanked me a thousand times for defending his- ' * \ / * A. i page: 126-127[View Page 126-127] 126 MY THRTY YEARS house so well last night, and he wrote a letter to tne Presi- dent, telling him all about the scrape. I went a piece with him to see him safe out of the city on the great road toward Baltimore. About my prospects for an office, I can't tell you yet how I shall come out. I've been in to see the President a number of times, and he talks very favorable. I have some chance to get in to be Secretary of War, if old Judge White don't take it; and if I don't get that the President says he'll do the best he can for me. I never had to be so strict a Republikan before in my life as I've-had to be since I've been here, in order to get the right side of the President. I'll tell you something about it in my next, and about my visits to the President, and a good many other famous things here. P. S.--Be sure and send the old gun as quick as possible. Your loving neffu, JACK DOWNING OUT OF THE SENATE. 127 LETTER XXIII. MR. DOWNING RECEIVES A CAPTAIN'S COMMSSION IN THE UNITED STATES ARMY, WITH ORDERS TO GO AND PROTECT THE INHABITANTS OF MADAWASKA. - WASHNGTON CITY, the 20th day of October, 1831. To Uncde Joshua -Downing, up in Downingville, State of Maine, this with care and speed: DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :-I'Pve got it at last, as true as you're alive, and now I don't keer a snap for the fattest of 'em. I'll teach them are young chaps down to Portland that used to poke fun at me so because I didn't get in to be Governor, that they must carry a better tongue in their heads, or 'they'll find out who they -are talking to. I guess they'll find out by and by it won't be healthy for 'em to poke fun at an officer of my rank. And as for- Jemime Parsons, that married the schoolmaster winter before last, when she had promised as fair as could be that she would have me, she may go to grass for what I keer; I wouldn't have her now no more than I'd have a Virginny nigger. And I guess when she comes to see me with my regi- mentals on she'll feel sorry enough, and wish her cake was dough again. Now she's tied down to that clodpole of a schoolmaster, that wasn't fit for a schoolmaster neither, for he has had to go to hoeing potatoes for .a living, and much as ever he can get potatoes enough to keep 'em from starving, when if she had only done as she had promised, she might now be the wife of Captain Jack Downing, of the United page: 128-129[View Page 128-129] 128 . MY THRTY YEARS States Army. But let her go; as I said afore, I don't care a', snap for her or all old White's cattle. I'll tell you what 'tis, uncle, I feel about right now. It seems to me I could foot it - home in two days, for my feet never felt half so light before. There's nothing like trying, in this world, uncle; anybody that tries can be something or other, if he don't get discouraged too soon. When I came on here, you know, I expected to get one of the great Secretaries' offices; but the good old Presi- dent told me they had got him into such a hobble' about them are offices that he couldn't give me one of 'em if he was to die. But he treated me like a gentleman, and I shall always vote for him as long as I live, and I told him so. And when he found out that I was a true genuine Republikan, says he, "Mr. Downing, you must be patient, and I'll bear you in mind, and do something for you the very first chance. And you may depend upon it, Mr. Downing," he added with a good deal of earnestness, "I never desert my friends, let that lying Ste- phen Simpson, of Philadelphy, say what he will about it-a good-for-nothing, ungrateful dog." And he fetched a stomp with his foot, and his eyes kind of flashed so fiery that I couldn't help starting back, for I didn't know but he was going to knock me over. But he looked pleasant again in a minute, and took me by the hand, and now, says he, "Mr. Downing, I give you my honor that PI' do something for you as soon as I possibly can." I told him I hoped he would be as spry as he could about it, for I had but jest ninepence left, and( I didn't know how I should get along very well, in a strange piace, too. But he told me never to mind that at all; I might come and eat my meals at his house whenever I'd a, mind to or he would be bondsman for my board where I put OUT OF THE SENATE. 129 up. So I've worked along from that time to this, nearly four months, as well as I could-sometimes getting a little job of garden-work, and'sometimes getting a little wood to saw, and so on, nearly enough to pay my expenses. I used to call and see the President once in a while, and ile -always told me I : t! GENERAL JACKSON SENDS FOR MR. DOWNING. must be patient and keep up a good heart-the world wasn't made in one day-and something would turn up for me by and by. But fact, after digging and sawing, and waiting four months, my patience got most wore out, and I was jest upon the point of giving up the chase, and starting off for Down- 6 , ' , - -'- i'. page: 130-131[View Page 130-131] 180 MY THRTY YEARS ingville with the intention of retiring to private life, when, last night, about seven o'clock, as I sot eating a bowl of bread and milk for my supper, a boy knocked at the door and wanted to see Mr. Downing. So they brought him into the room where I was, and says he, "Mr. Downing, the President wants to see you for something very particular, right away this evening." My heart almost jump'd right up in my mouth. My ipoon dropt out of my hand, and to eat another mouthful I couldn't if I was to starve. I flew round, and washed my face and hands, and combed my head, and brushed up as well as I could, and should- have looked tolerable spruce if it hadn't been for -an unlucky hole in the knee of my trouses. What to do I did not know. It made me feel bad enough I can tell you. The woman where I boarded said she would mend them for me if I would take them off, but it would take hler till about nine o'clock, and the President was waiting for ine, and there 'twas. Such a hobble I never was in before. But this woman is a kind, good creature as ever was ; she boards me for four and sixpence a week, considering that I split wood for her, and bring water, and do all sich kind of chores. And she always had some contrivance to get out of every difficulty ; and so she handed me a neat little pocket handkerchief and told me to tie that round my knee. Being thus rigged out at last, I started off as fast as I could go for the President's. When I went into his room the old gentleman was sitting by a table with his spectacles on, and two great lamps burns ing before him, and a bundle of letters and papers in his hand. He started up and took me by the hand, and sayu he, " good evening, Mr. Downing, I'm very glad to see you ; you are the OUTL OF THE --SENATE. 131 very man I want now, above all others in the world. But now is this," says he,'looking at my knee ; " not lame, I hope? That would be a most unfortunate thing in this critical mo- ment. It would knock my plan in the head at once." I felt kind of blue, and I guess I bltished a little ; but I turned it' off as' well as I could ; I told him I wasn't lame at all; it was nothing but a slight scrach, and by to-morrow morning I should be as well as ever I was in my life. "Well then," says he, "Mr. Downing, sit down here and see what I have got to tell you." The old gentleman set himself back in his chair and pushed his spectacles up on his forehead and held up the letter in his hand, and says he, "Mr. Downing, here is a letter from Governor Smith, of Maine, and now, Sir, I've got something for you to do. You see now that I was sincere when I told you if you would be patient and stick to the Re- publikan text, I would look out for you one of these days. I'm always true to my friends; that lying Stephen Simpson might have had an office before now if he had behaved himself." "Well, dear Sir," said I, for I felt in such a pucker to know what I was going to get that I couldn't stand it any longer, so Says I, " what sort of business is it you've got for me to do?"Says he "Mfr. Downing, I take it you are a man of courage; I have always thought so ever since you faced Mr. Eaton so boldly on Mr. Ingham's door-steps. Tho' I was sorry your courage was not displayed in a better cause, for that - Ingham is a rascal after all." I told him as for courage I be- lieved I had some of the stuff about me when there was any occasion for it, and that I never would stand by and see any- body abused. "Well," says he, " we must come to the point, for the business requires haste. Governor Smith writ. iime page: 132-133[View Page 132-133] 132 MY THRTY YEARS that there are four of your fellow-citizens of Maine in a British jail at Fredericton, who have been taken from their farms by British constables and sheriffs and other officers and carried off by force to prison." By this time my very hair begun to curl, I felt so mad, and I couldn't help jumping up and smiting my fists together, and saying pretty hard things about the British. "Well," says the President, "I like your spunk, Mr. Down- ing; you're jest the man I want in this business. I'm going to give you a captain's commission in the United States army, and you must go down there and set that business right at Madawaska. You must go to Maine and raise a company of volunteers as quick as possible; tell 'em I'll see 'em paid; and you must march down to Fredericton and demand the prisoners, and if they are not given up you must force the jail, and if the British make any resistance you must fire upon them and bring the prisoners off at some rate or other. Then write me and let me know how affairs stand, and I'll give you further orders. At any rate you must see that the rights of Maine are well protected, for that State has come round so in my favor since last year I'm determined to do everything I can for them; I tell you, Mr. Downing, I never desert my friends." So, after he gave me the rest of my orders and my commis- sion, and a pocket full of money, and told me to be brave and if I wanted anything to let him know, he bid me good night, and I went home. But I couldn't sleep a wink all night. I was up before day-light this morning, and I've got two women to work for me to-day fixing up my clothes, and I shall be ready to start to-morrow morning. I want you to keep i OUT OF THE SENATE. 133 this matter pretty still till I get there, except that you may let cousin Ephraim know it and get him to volunteer some of the Downingville boys for my company. I want to get them pretty much all there if I can, for I know what sort of stuff the Downingville boys are made of, and shall know what P've got to depend upon. In haste, your loving neffu, CAPTAIN JACOK POWNTN(G. / a page: 134-135[View Page 134-135] 134 MY THRTY YEARS "ETTElR XXIV. UNCLE JOSHUA DESCRIBES TO PRESIDENT JACKSON HOW THEY DRAFTED THE MLITIA COMPANY IN DOWNINGVILLE TO GO WITH CAPT. JACK DOWNING TO TIE MADAWASKA WAR. DOWNINGVILLE, NOV. 6, 1831. GENERAL JACKSON-Dear Sir: I hope you'll excuse me, my makin' bold to write to you, bein' you are President of the United States and I only a humble farmer in the back-woods down here in Maine ; but I'm a Republikan to the back-bone, so I kind of think you'll take it in good part. My neffu, Cap- tain Jack Downing, has been here and got his company and started off for Madawaska. He said he ought to write to you before he started, but he was so arnest to get down there and give them New Brumzickers a thrashin' he didn't know how to stop. So I told him to go ahead, and I'd write and tell you all about it arter he was gone. We had the company all drafted and cut and dried for him when he got here, for the Governor of the State had given orders to draft the militia all over the State to be ready for the war down in the disputed territory. My son Joel has gone down to the boundary war along with the rest of 'em, and we feel bad enough about it, I can tell you. He's too young to go, I know; he's a mere striplin' of a boy yet; he won't be seventeen years old till the fifth day of next- May, if he should live to see it. But the poor boy may not live to see that day now; for he's taken his life in his OUT OF THE SENATE. 135 hands, and gone to fight for his country like a man anud a hero, live or die. It was a tryin' time to us, Gineral; it was a tryin' time-but I may as well tell you the story, and then you'll know. After we heard the British had taken our land agent, and' carried him off to New Brumzick, we begun to look out for a squall. It was about dark when the post brought the papers that had the account of it; so, arter supper, we all went into father's to talk the matter over. For father knows more about sich matters than anybody else in Downingville-he was out three years in the Revolution, and was in the battle of Lexington before he 'listed, and had the fore-finger of his right hand shot off in the battle of Bunker Hill, jest as he was pull- ing trigger, and aiming at a British officer that was hurrying up the hill, and driving his soldiers up like a fury. But father always says he didn't lose his shot by it; for when lie found that finger was gone, and wouldn't pull, he tried the next finger, and the old gun went without losing his aim, and the British officer fell; and he always believed it was- his shot brought him down. Though father is eighty-five years old now, and is so lame he can't walk about much, yet his mind holds out remarkably, and he can talk about these things as smart as ever he could. His house stands right aside of mine, only fur enough apart for a long shed between 'em, and he used to live in the same house with me, or rather, I lived in the same house with him, till I had so many children, and my family got so large 'twas rather worrisome to the old gentleman; and we was rather scant of room, so I built another house and moved into it, and got cousin Debby to live with the old folks and take care of them. page: 136-137[View Page 136-137] 136 MY THRTY YEARS So, as I said afure, arter supper we took the papers ano went into father's, and I sot down and read it all over tc him-how a parcel of the British come over into our disputes territory and went to cutting down our timber like smoke, so as to steal it, and carry it- off in the spring when the rivers open, away down to New Brumzic k; and how our Governor, as soon as he heard about it, sent Mr. McIntire, the land agent, and a hundred and fifty men to put a stop to that stealin' business, and ketch the fellers if he could, and bring 'em off; and how Mr. McIntire took his men and marched off down' there into the woods, ever so fur, into our disputed territory, and got all ready and was jest a going to ketch the fellers and bring 'em off up to Augusta, when the thieving chlaps turned about and ketched him, and put him on a sled and hauled him off down to Fredericton, in New Brumzick, and put him in jail - When I got along so fur, father couldn't hold still no longer; he struck his staff down on the floor, jest as if it had been a training-gun, and says he: "Joshua, there'll be trouble; you may depend upon't, there'll be trouble. If our people will stand that, they ain't made of such kind of stuff as the old Revolution folks was made of, nor nothing like it. In them days, if the British had took one of our men and hauled him off to Fredericton, and put him in jail, every man in the old Bay State, and every boy tu, that was big enough to carry a gun, would a shouldered it, and marched to New Brumzick, and Fredericton jail would a been stripped down in no time, and Mr. Mclntire brought home agin." Says I, "father, you mistake; your Revolution folks OUT OF THE SENATE. 137 couldn't a brought Mr. McIntire home again, for. he was not there in them days; it's Mr. McIntire that's in jail now." "Yes they would," said the old gentleman, rising out of his chair, and striking his staff down on the floor harder than he did afore; "they'd a gone after Mr. McIntire, or any other man living, that had American blood in his veins, and they'd a brought him back, if they'd had to fit their way through forty New Brumzicks for him. Ain't the people waking up about it no where? ain't they going down to give them New Brumzicks a thrashing?"' I looked at my son Joel, and I see his face was all of a blaze; and he looked as if he-was jest a going to burst out. Says I, "Joel, my boy, what's the matter?i His face grew redder, and the tears came into his eyes, and he struck his fists together, hard enough to crack a walnut. "By king," says he, " father, I wish I was old enough to train; I want to go down there, and help give them are British what they deserve." "By the memory of George Washington!" said my father, "I wish I was young enough to train; I should like to shoul- der my gun agin, and go and teach them New Brumzickers better manners. But what are they doing at Augusta? Ain't there no stir about it yet?" Says I, "we'll read on and see." So I looked over the papers a little more, and found the Governor had ordered ten thousand of the militia to be drafted to go down and keep the British out of our disputed territory, and prevent their steal- ing our pine timber.' "That looks something like it," said my father; "that's a little like the spunk of old seventy-six. The British '1! have to 6* page: 138-139[View Page 138-139] 138, Mt THRTY YEARS let our disputed territory alone now, or else they'll have to come to the scratch for it. I wish I was twenty years - younger, I'd go down as a volunteer." "I wish I was only two years older," said my son Joel, "then I should stan' a chance to be drafted; and if I wasn't drafted, I'd go, whether or no." At that my wife and mother both fetched a heavy sigh. Mother said she thought father had been through wars enough in his day to rest in his old age, and let sich things alone. My wife, she wiped her eyes, for they was full of tears, and begged Joel not to talk so, for he was too young ever to think of sich things. And then she turned to father, and asked him if he really thought there was going to be any war. "Yes," said father, "jest as true as the sun will rise to- morrow, there'll be a war, and that pretty soon tu, unless the New Brumzickers back out, and give up Mr. McIntire, and let the timber on our disputed territory alone. The orders will be up here to draft the militia within two days, and I shouldn't be surprised if they should be called out before to- morrow morning." At that my wife and the gals had a pretty considerable of a crying spell. After we'd talked the matter all over, we went home, and went to bed; but we didn't any of us rest very well. My wife she sighed herself to sleep arter awhile ; and I heard my son Joel, arter he got to sleep, muttering about guns and the British, and declaring he would go. I had jest got into a drowse, about midnight, when I heard a heavy knock at the door. I sprung out of bed, and went and looked out of the window, and asked who was there. OUT OF THE SENATE. 139 "Sargent Johnson," was the reply. "We've got to stan a draft to-night. The Governor's orders got here about an hour ago. We're sending round to warn our company to meet up here, to Mr. Wilson's tavern, at two o'clock this morning; it's near about one- now, and the Captain wants Squire Downing to come over and help see about making the draft. He wants to get through with it as soon as he can, so them that's drafted may be getting ready, for they've got to set out to Bangor at eight o'clock this morning." I told him I would come right over ; and so I lit a candle and dressed myself as quick as I could, and come out into the kitchen to put on my boots, and who should I find there but my son Joel all dressed, and his cap on, ready for a start. He had heard what had been said, and it put' the fidgets right into him - Says he, "Father, I want to go over and see 'em draft." I told him he better be abed and asleep by half. But he said he couldn't sleep; and I found the boy was so arnest to go, that I finally told him he might. We hadn't more than got dressed, before we heard the drum beat over to Mr. Wilson's tavern; so we started off and went over. When we got there, they had a fire in the large hall, and the company was most all there. The Captain had got a bowl and some black beans and white beans all ready, and he wanted me to draw for them, so they might all feel satisfied there was no partiality. There was one sargent to be drafted, and we drew him first; and it fell to Sargent Johnson. He stood it like a man ; I didn't see as he trembled or turned pale a bit He looked a little redder if anything, and kind of bit his lip as he took his gun and marched into the middle of page: 140-141[View Page 140-141] I40 MY TH'TY YEARS the floor, and he turned round and looked at the company, and says he, "I'm ready to go and fight for our country to the last drop of my blood but what-we'll make the British back out of our disputed territory, and stop their thieving." The company gave three cheers for Sargent Johnson, and then we went to drafting the privates. There was eighty in the company, and twenty was to be drafted. So they took sixty white beans and twenty black ones, and put 'em into the bowl, and held itup, so nobody couldn't look into it, and I was to draw 'em out as the orderly sargent called out the names. So when we got ready to begin, the sargent sung out "William Jones." I put my had into the bowl and drawed, and sung out, "White bean." "Peter Livermore," cried the sargent. Peter Livermore started, as if he'd had a shock from an electrical machine; his legs shook a little, and he looked in the face as if he felt rather bad. I put my hand in and -drawed, and sung out, "White bean." Peter looked better in a minute. He's a great, tall, six-foot chap, and looks as if he could almost whip a regiment of com- mon fellers himself; and although he's something of a brag, it's generally thought, when you come right up to the pinch of the game, he's a little cowardly. Peter stretched his head back, and straddled his legs a little wider, and looked round on the company, and says he, "I swow, I thought I should' a been drafted, and H almost OUT OF THE SENATE. 141 wish I had. It would a been fun alive to a gone down there, and had a brush 'long with them are New Brumzickers. My old fowling-piece would a made daylight shine through fifty of 'em in half an hour's fighting. I swow I'm disappinted--I was in hopes I should been drafted." The company knew Peter too well to mind much what he said ; they only laughed a little, and the Sargent went on, and called out, "John Smith, the third." I drawed to it, and says I, "White bean." The Sargent called out again, "John Downing, the second." That was the oldest son of Uncle John Downing, the black- smith, a smart boy, and twenty-three years old. Somehow, as soon as I heard his name, I kind of felt as if he was going to be drafted; and I put in my hand and drawed, and sure enough, I sung out, "Black bean." John shouldered his gun in a minute, and marched out into the middle of the floor, and took his stand beside Sargent Johnson. He looked so resolute, and marched so quick, that the company at once gave three cheers for John. "David Sanborn," cried the Sargent. "White bean," said I. "Ichabod Downing," said the Sargent. I drawed, and answered the same as before, "' White bean." "Jeremiah Cole," called out the Sargent. "Black bean,'^ said I; " black bean for Jerry." page: 142-143[View Page 142-143] "2 MY THRTY YEARS After waiting a minute, the Captain called out, 'I Where's Jerry Cole? Isn't Jerry here?" l "Yes, setting down behind here on a bench," answered half a dozen at once. "Come Jerry, come forward," said the Captain ; " let us see your spunk." By and by Jerry come creeping out from behind the comn- pany, and tried to get across the floor; but his face was as white as a cloth, and he shook and trembled so he couldn't scarcely walk. He let his gun fall on the floor, and sot down in a chair that stood by the side of the room, and boo-hoo'd out a crying like a baby. "Well done," said the Captain; " there's spunk for you. What's the matter, Jerry-can't you go?" "Booh-hoo," said Jerry, "I aint well--I'm very sick, Cap- tain ; I don't think I could go any way in the world." "Well, well," said the Captain, " leave your gun, and you may run home as fast as you can go, and see your mother, and we'll get somebody else to go in your room." At that, Jerry darted out of the door, and pulled foot for home, like a streak of lightning. "Where's Peter Livermore," said the Captain; "he may take Jerry's place, being he was disappointed at not being drafted." And he called Peter, and told him to take Jerry's gun and stand up in the floor with the drafts. Peter colored as red as you ever see, and begun to sweat. At last, says he "Captain, I don't see how I can go any way in the world, my family's out of wood and meal, and a good many other things, and I couldn't leave home." "Oh," says the Captain, " we'll take care of your family OUT OF THE SENATE. 143 while you are gone, Peter. Come, take the gun; don't stop to parley." u"But, Captain," said Peter, the sweat beginning to roll off his face, " if I'd been drafted, Captain, I'd a gone with the greatest pleasure in the world, and shouldn't wanted no bet- * ter fun. But somehow or other, it seems to me like presump- tion, to go throwing myself into danger,- when it wasn't my lot to go. I shouldn't like to go, Captain, without I was drafted." "Well, well," said the Captain, " you needn't go; we want no cowards to go. But who is there here, among the specta- tors, or among the men whose names have been called, that isn't afraid to take Jerry's gun and fill Jerry's place. If there's any one here that's willing to go, let him come forward." At that, my son Joel sprung like a young tiger, and seized Jerry's gun, and jumped into the middle of the floor and stood up by the side of Sargent Johnson, and shouldered his gun with so much eagerness, and looked so fierce and determined, although nothing but a striplin' of a boy, that the whole com- pany burst out in three tremendous cheers for Joel Downing. The Captain asked me if I was willing he should go. I was never so tried in my life. For my own part, bein' the boy was so brave and wanted to go so much, I should a said yes. But then I knew it would almost kill his mother. So, what to do I didn't know. But I found the boy had got his mind so fixed upon going, that if he didn't go it would about kill him. So, on the whole, I told the Captain yes, he might put his name down. Then we went on with the drafting again and got all through without any more trouble, and got ready to go home about page: 144-145[View Page 144-145] "4 MY THIT'Y YEARS three o'clock. The Captain told them that was drafted that they must all be- ready to march at eight o'clock in the morn- ing, and they must be in front of the tavern at that hour, and start together for Bangor. My son Joel and I then went home, and made up a fire and routed the folks all out, and told 'em Joel was listed, and got to start at eight o'clock, to fight for our disputed territory. Sich an outcry as there was for about a half an hour I guess you never heard; My wife couldn't a cried harder if Joel had been shot dead there before her feet, though she didn't make much noise about it, for she always cries to herself. The older gals, they cried considera- ble louder; and some of the younger children, that didn't hardly understand what the trouble was about, sot in and screamed as loud as they could bawl. At last says I, "There's no use in this noise and fuss ; the boy's got to go, and he's got to be off at eight o'clock tu, and the sooner we set ourselves to work to get him ready the bet- ter." That seemed to wake 'em up a little. My wife went to work and picked up his clothes, and she and the gals sot down and mended his shirts and stockings, and fried up a parcel of doughnuts for him to put in his knapsack, and got him all fixed up and breakfast ready about six o'clock. We hadn't waked up old father in the night, bein' he's so old ; but in the morning we let him know about it, and he wanted my son Joel to come" in and see him before he went; so we went into the old gentleman's room. "Now, Joel, my boy," said the old gentleman, "I feel proud to hear sich a good report of you. You'd a made a good sol. dier in the days of the Revblution. 'Twas such boys as you that drove the British from Lexington, and mowed 'em down . . OUT OF THE SENATE. 145 on Bunker Hill, and went through the fatigue of Burgoine. You'll feel a little queer at first, when you see the enemy com- ing up to you with their guns pinted right at you ; and, brave' as you are, you'll feel a little streaked. But you mus'n't mind it; as soon as they've fired once, you wont feel any more of it, and wont keer any more about 'em than you would about a flock of sheep. But don't be in a hurry to fire--mind that- don't be in a hurry to fire ; they told us at Bunker Hill not to fire till the enemy got up so near we could see the whites of their eyes. -And 'twas a good rule ; for by that means we let 'em get up so near, that when we did fire, we mowed 'e -down like a field of clover, I can tell you. Be a good boy, Joel, and don't quit our disputed territory as -long as there is any dispute about it." By this time we see 'em begin to gather in the road up by the tavern, and I told Joel it was time to be off; so he took his gun, and his knapsack, which was pretty well stuffed, for each of the children thad put in a doughnut or an apple, or a piece of cake, after their mother had crammed in as much as she thought he could carry, and then he marched away like a soldier up to the tavern. When they Started they had to come down again by our house and go up over a rise of land t'other way about half a mile, before they got out of sight. So we all stood out in a row along by the side of the road to see 'em as they went by. Father got out as fur as the door-step and stood leaning on his staff, and mother stood behind him with her specs on, looking over his shoulder; and the rest of us, with the children, and cousin Debby, and all, went clear out to the side of the road. Pretty soon they come along by, my son Joel at the head, and the rest marching two and two. page: 146-147[View Page 146-147] "6 MY THRTY YEARS When they got along against us, little Sally run up and tucked another great apple into Joel's pocket, and my wife called out to him. N' Now do pray be careful, Joel, and not get shot." THE DOWNINGVILLE COMPANY STARTING FOR THE WAR. Then grandfather raised his trembling voice, and says he Now Joel, my boy, remember and don't be in a hurry to fire." OUT OF THE SENATE. 147 And the children called out all together, "good-by, Joel, good-by, Joel," each repeating it over three or four times. Joel looked round and nodded once, when his mother called out to him, but the rest of the time he held his head up straight and marched like a soldier. We stood and watched 'em till they got clear to the top of the hill and was jest a going out of sight, when all to once Joel stepped out one side, where we could see him, and let his old gun blaze away into the air, and in a minute more they were out of sight. "Ah," said old father, " that sounds like Bunker Hill; that boy 'll do the business for them New Brumzickers, if they don't let our disputed territory alone." The company had not been gone more than half an hour when my neffu, Captain Jack Downing, arrived with his com- mission in his pocket. Jack hadn't been in Downingville be- fore for two years, and if there wasn't a time of it among our folks I'll never guess agin. Nabby, she hopped right up and down, like a mouse treed ini a flour barrel. Ephraim snapped his thumb and finger, and spit on his hands, as though he had a cord of wood to chop. Aunt- Keziah, (that's my wife) she put her apron up to her eyes and cried as much as half an hour, as-hard as she could cry. I found I was rather choky, but I took down my pipe and rolled out a few whifs, and so made out to smoke it off. As soon as Jack had a chance to shake hands all round and get a little breakfast, he started off like a streak of chalk to overtake the company and take command. So I remain your true friend and fellow-laborer in the Republikan cause. JOSHUA DOWNING. page: 148-149[View Page 148-149] "8 MY THRTY YEARS "ETTE'I XXV. CAPTAIN DOWNING S FIRST MLITARY REPORT TO THE PRESIDENT. MADAWASKA, November 15, 1831. To His Excellency, Gineral Jackson, President of the United States, -c. DEAR GINERAL :-The prisoners are out and no blood spilt yet. I had prepared to give the British a most terrible battle if they hadn't let 'em out. I guess I should made 'em think old Bonapart had got back among 'em again, for a keener set. of fellows than my company is made up of never shouldered a musket or trod shoe leather. I was pesky sorry they let 'em out quite so soon, for I really longed to have a brush with 'em ; and how they come to let 'em go I don't know, unless it was because they heard I was coming. And I expect that was the case, for the prisoners told me the British Minister at Wash- ington sent on some kind of word to Governor Campbell, and I suppose he told him how I had got a commission, and was coming down upon New Brunswick like a harrycane. If I could only got down there a little sooner and fit such a great battle as you did at New Orleans, my fortune would have been made for this world. I should have stood a good chance then to be President of the United States one of these days. And that's as high as ever I should want to get. I got home to Downingville in little more than a week after I left you at Washington--for having a pretty good pocketful] OUT OF THE SENATE. 149 of money, and knowing that ,ny business was very important, I rid in the stage most all the way. I spose I needn't-stop to tell you how tickled all my folks were to see me. I didn't know for awhile but they'd eat me up. But I s'pose that's neither here nor there in making military reports, so I'll go on. I found no difficulty in getting volunteers. I believe I could have got nearly half the State of Maine to march if I had wanted 'em. But as I only had orders to list one good stout company, I took 'em all in Downingville, for I rather trust myself with one hundred genuine Downingville boys than five hundred of your common run. I took one supernu- merary, however, when I got to Bangor. The editor of the Bangor Republican was so zealous to go, and said he'd fight so to the last drop of his blood, that I couldnt' help taking him, so I appointed him supernumerary corporal. Poor fellow, he was so disappointed when he found the prisoners were out that he fairly cried for vexation. He's for having me go right on now and give all New Brunswick a real thrashing. But I know what belongs to gineralship better than that; I haven't had my orders yet. Well, after we left Bangor, we had a dreadful rough and tumble sort of a journey, over rocks, and mountains, and rivers, and swamps, and bogs, and mea- dows, and through long pieces of woods, that I didn't know as we should find the way out of. But we got through at last, and arrived here at Madawaska day before yesterday; I thought I better come this way and make a little stop at Madawaska to see -if the prisoners' wives and little ones were in want of anything, and then go down to Fredericton and blow the British sky-high. When our company first came out in sight in Madawaska, page: 150-151[View Page 150-151] 150 MY THiiTY YEARS they thought it was the British coming to catch some more of 'em; and such a scattering and scampering I guess you never, see. The men flew into the woods like a flock of sheep with forty dogs after 'em, and the women catched their babies up in their arms and run from one house to another, screeching and screaming enough to make the woods ring again. But when they found out we were United States troops come to help 'em, you never see anybody so glad.' They all cried for joy then. The women run into the woods and called for their husbands to come back again, for there was nobody there that would hurt them, and back they came and treated us with the best they had in their houses. And while we sot chatting, before the women hardly got their tears wiped up, one of 'em looked up toward the woods and screamed out there comes the risoners. Some turned pale a little, thinking it might be their ghosts, but in a minute in they come, as good flesh and blood as any of us, and then the women had another good crying spell. I asked one of the prisoners how they got, away, for I thought you would want to know: all about it; and says he, "we come away on our legs." "Did you break out of jail," said I?"I guess there was no need of that," said he, "for we wa'nt locked in half the time." "Did you knock down the guard," said I, "and fight your way out?" "Humph " said he, "I guess we might have hunted one while before we could find a guard to knock down. Nobody seemed to take any care of us; if we wanted a drop of grog we had to go out and buy it ourselves." "' Well, but" said I, "if you were left in such a loose state as that, why did you not run away be- fore?" "Tut," said he, shrugging; up his shoulders, , I guess UU1 VU 1'fli T iSNATEl'i 1O1 we knew what we were about; the longer we staid there the more land the State of Maine would give us to pay us for being put in jail; but when they turned us out of jail, and wouldn't keep us any longer, we thought we might as well come home." And now, dear Gineral, since matters are as they are, I shall take up my headquarters here at Madawaska for the present, and wait for further orders. I halla take good care of the people here, and keep everything in good order and not allow a single New Brunswicker to come anywhere within gun-shot. As for that Leftenant-Governor, Mr. Archibald Campbell, he better keep himself scarce; if he shows his head here again, I shall jest put him into a meal bag and send him to Washington. I shall expect to hear from you soon-; and as I shall have to be here sometime, I don't know but you had better send me on a little more money. My uniform got rather shattered coming through the woods, and it will cost me something to get it fixt up again. This, from your old friend and humble servant, CAPTAIN JACK DOWNING. OF. page: 152-153[View Page 152-153] 152' MY TH TY YEARS LETTER XXVI.* MR. DOWNING TELLS HOW THE JACKSONITES IN THE LEGISLATURE HAD A DREADFUL TUSSLE TO POUR A "HEALING ACT "DOWN THE THROATS OF THE HUNTONITES. PORTLAND, Feb. 4, 1831. DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :-There's terrible times here again, and I'm half afraid it's going to be worse than it was last winter. The Legislater's been all in the wind this two or three days, pulling and hauling and fighting like smoke. The,wheels of Government are all stopt; I can't say as they are trigged, as they wmed to be IYst winter, but they are fairly stopped, be- cause nobody don't pull 'em along ; for when the members are * EDITORIAL NOTE. -The bitterness of feeling occasioned by the struggle for the ascendency between the two parties in 1830, still rankled in the breasts of the members of the Legislature in 1831. The Huntonites had ac- quired the ascendency the preceding session, but now the Jacksonites were in power, and they contended that the acts of the Huntonites in 1830 were unconstitutional and void. They therefore set about preparing a " healing act" to declare all the doings of the preceding Legislature valid in the lump. When this bill was brought forward, it produced a storm in the Legislature, almost unparalleled. Th untonites considered it altogebter a useless, provoking piece of political iickery., They contended that if the acts of the former Lfislature were in fact unconstitutional, no law passed by this Legislature could make them constitutional, and considering it a wanton attempt to heap insult and odium upon them, they fought against it almost while life and breath remained. A fierce debate on the passage of this bill was carried on for several days. But the Jacksonites had the power in, their own hands, and the bill was finally passed. The scene is somewhat minutely described in the accompanying letter. A. OUtr OF THE SENATE. 153 8 all pulling each other's caps, how can they pull the wheels of Government? My heart's been up in my mouth a dozen times for fear the State would go to ruin before I could get out of it; and I've scratched round and picked up what few bean- poles and ax-handles I had left, and got all ready to set sail to Boston, for I'm determined to be off before the State goes to rack. And I advise you and all our friends at Downingville to pack up as soon as you get this letter, and be all ready as soon as you hear a cracking down this- way to fly for your lives away back into New-Hampshird or Vermont. The trouble, as near as I could understand' it, begun in this way: The Jacksonites said the Huntonites Worked so hard last win-: ter in trying to trig the wheels of Government, and tear the Constitution to pieces,- that they made themselves all sick, dreadful sick, and hadn't got well yet; and it was timeto do something to try to cure 'em ; for' their sickness was so catch- ing that all the State would be taken downi with it in a little while, if they want cured. But the Huntonite said they want- sick- abit; they never was better in their lives ; and moreover, it was false that they had tried to trig the wheels of Government last winter ; or tear a single leaf out of the Constitution ; if anything of that kind was done, they said the Jacksonites did it, and as for taking doctor's stuff they'd no notion pf it. But the Jacksonites said 'twas no use, the Huntonites were all si:, and they .must take some doctor stuff, and if they wouldn't take it willingly they must be made to take it. So they went to work and fixed a dose that they called a healing. act, that they said would cure all the Huntonites and anybody else that had catched the sickness of 'em. The Huntonites declared 'was no use for 'em to-fix it, page: 154-155[View Page 154-155] 154 MY THRTY YEARS for they never would take it as long as they lived, thats what they wouldn't; they were as well as anbody, and they'd fight it out till next June before they'd take it. Howsomever, the Jacksonites got their dose ready, and yesterday they carried it into the House of Representatives and told the Huntonites they 'must take it, and 'twould do 'em good. As soon as the Huntonites smelt of it, they turned up their noses, and said no, before they'd take that are plaguy dirty stuff they'd fight 'em all over the State, inch by inch. But the Jacksonites said 'twas no use--they might sniff as much as they pleased-it was the only thing that would cure 'em, and they must take it, and .more than all that, they was the strongest and they should take it. The Huntonites see how *twas gone goose with 'em, and they thought the only chance left was to put their hands over their mouth and fight and kick and scrabble with all their might, and keep it out of their throats as long as they could. Still they tried to talk and reason with the Jacksonites about it. They asked 'era to let 'em have time to examine the medicine carefully and see what it was made of, or that they would tell 'em what it was made of, or why they thought-it would do any good to take it. But the Jacksonites said they shouldn't tell 'em anything about it, it would be "oasting pearls before swine," and the good book said they musn't do so. The men who had fixed the dose knew what they were about, they had fixed it right, and the Huntonites must open their mouths and take it, and not parley any more about it. Well, the Jacksonites took the dose in one hand, and grab'd the Huntonites with the other, and tipped their heads back, and were jest agoing to pour'it down their throats, when the Hun- Hi OUT OF THE SENATE. 155- tonites fetched a spring and kicked it away to the fourth day of April. But the Jacsonites run after it and got it back again in about half an hour, and clinched 'em again, and got all ready to pour it down ; but jest as they got it almost to their lips, the Huntonites fetched another spring, and kicked it away to the fourth of March. Away went the Jacksonites after it again, and brought it back, and clinched the Hunton. ites in the same manner as before, and they kicked it away again, but they didn't kick this time quite to the end of Feb. ruary. Well, after the Jacksonites, had tried nearly twenty times to pour down the bitter dose, and the Huntonites had *kicked it away as many times, both parties seemed to be nearly tired out, and so they finally agreed to adjourn till nine o'clock next morning. I thought the Huntonites, if they once got out, would cut and run home and get clear of the plaguy stuff. But instead of that they all come in again next morn- ing. When I got there the Jacksonites were holding the Hun- tonites by the hair of the head with one hand and trying to cram the healing plaster down their throats with t'other, and the. Huntonites were kicking and scrabbling, and gritting their teeth together with all their might, and doubling up their fists and stamping, and declaring up hill and down that they would never take it. And they were so upstropulous about it for awhile, I didn't know as they ever would swallow it. But the Jacksonites were the stoutest, and held on to 'em like a dog to a root, and kept 'em there all day and all the evening till about midnight, and then the poor Huntonites seemed to be a most dragged out. I fairly pitied 'em. Along in the first of it they threatened pretty stoutly, and declared by every. thing that's black and blue, if they had to take this dirty dose, page: 156-157[View Page 156-157] 156 - MY THRTY YEARS and should happen to be strongest next year, they'd make the Jacksonites take a dose worth two of this. But all the threatening didn't do any good ; and then they fell to begging and coaxing, and that didn't do -any good nuther. The Jack- -sonites said they should not only take it, but they should take it that night before they slept. At last they got their hands I. FORCING THE "HEALING-ACT"DOWN THE THROATS OF THE HUNTONITES. and feet tied, and kept bringing it up a little nearer and little nearer to their mouths, and the Huntonites got so they couldn't do nothing but spit. But the Jacksonites didn't mind the spitting, for you know it isn't for the doctor to stand : , * - * . ^-. . .u OWUTOF THE SENATE] .151 about being spit upon a little, when he's giving medicine. Just before the last on't, the poor Huntonites rolled their eyes dreadfully, and I believe some on 'em lost their senses a little ; , one of 'em took a notion that they were agoing to make him swallow a whole live goose, feathers and all; and he begged of 'em, if they wouldn't take out the gizzard and t'other inside things, that they'd jest pull out the pin feathers, so that it wouldn't scratch his throat going down. But they didn't pay no attention to himn and just before the clock struck twelve they grabbed 'em by the throat, and pried their mouths open, and poured it in. The Huntonites guggled a little, but they ' had to swallow it. ' Some thought this healing dose would make the Huntonites worse, and some thought -it would make 'em better. I've watched 'em ever since they took it, whenever Hdared to go near the Legislater, and I can't see much alteration in fem. But that, or something emle, has kicked up a monstrous dust among other folks all over the world amost. I've been look- ing over the newspapers a little, and I never see the world in such a terrible hubbub -before in all my life. Everybody seems to be running Iaft, and jest ready to eat each other up. There's Russia snapping her teeth lilke a great bear, and is jest agoing to eat up the Poles-I don't mean Ephraim's bean poles-but all the folks that live in Poland; not that are Poland up there where Mr. Dunn lives, but that great Poland over alongside of Russia. And there's the -Dutch trying to eat up Holland, and the Belgians are trying 'to eat up the Dutch, and there's "five great powers" trying to pour a healing dose down the throat of the King of the Nether- lands; and there's Mr. O'Connell trying to make the King of * s - ' * ' ' page: 158-159[View Page 158-159] 68 MY THR TY YEARS England and Parliament take a healing dose, and there's Ire-- land jest ready to eat up Mr. O'Connell, and all the kings of Europe are trying to eat up the people, and the people are all trying to eat up the kings. And our great folks in this country, too, away off there to Washington, have got into such a snarl, I guess it would puzzle a Philadelphy lawyer to get 'em out of it, There's the President, and Mr. Calhoun, and Mr. Van Buren, and the-two great Republikan papers, and half a dozen more of 'em, all together by the ears ; but which of 'em will eat up the rest I don't know. I've heard a good many guess that Mr. Van Buren would eat up the whole toat of 'em ; for they say, al- though he's a small man, there isn't another man in the coun- try that can eat his way through a political pudding as slick as he can. These are dreadful times, uncle; I don't know what'll become of the world if I don't get an office pretty soon. But a faint heart never won fair lady, and I shall stick to it like a dog to a root. Your loving neffu, JACK DOWNING ,. OUT OF THE SENATE. 159 LETTER XXv Il.* CAPTAIN DOWNING IS IN A PECK OF TROUBLE ABOUT THE LEGISLATURE'S SELLING MADAWASKA TO THE GENERAL GOVERNMENT, TO BE GIVEN UP TO THE BRITISH, AND SITS DOWN AND FIGURES UP THE PRICE. MADAWASKA, State of Maine, or else Great 1 Britain, I don't know which, - March 12, 1832. , To the Editor of the Portland Courier-this with care and speed : MY DEAR OLD' FRIEND -I cleared out from Augusta in such a kind of a whirlwind that I hadn't time to write you a single word before I left. And I feel so kind of crazy now, I doit know hardly which end I stand upon. Pve had a good many head-flaws and worriments in my lifetime, and been in a great many hobbles, but I never, in all my b6rn days, met with anything that puzzled me quite so bad as this ere selling * EDITORTAL NOTE.-Captain Downing went to Madawaska with his com- pany in November, 1831,-and remained there till the Spring of 1832, when he returned to Washington. He had visited the Legislature, at Augusta, twice during the winter, and came about as near being lost among the cold, snowy mountains around Moosehead Lake as Colonel Fremont did in crossing the Rocky Mountains. A He published, in the Portland Courier, some account of these perilous journeys back and forth between Augusta and Madawaska, and also various proceedings of the Legislature during the winter. While taking an active part in the proceedings of the lobby, he learned that the General Government had-agreed with England to refer this question of dis- puted territory to the King of the Netherlands, and to abide by his decision. Instead of deciding that the disputed territory belonged 'to either party, the King of the Netherlands concluded to split the difference, and run a new page: 160-161[View Page 160-161] 16 MY THRTY YrEAS out down here. I fit in the Legislater as long as fighting would do any good--that is, I mean in the caucus, for they wouldnt let me go right into the Legislater in the day time and talk to gem there, because I was only a lobby member. But jest let them knew it, lobby members can do as much as any of 'em on sich kind of business as this. I laid it down to 'em in the caucus as well as I could. I asked 'em if they didn't think I should look like a pretty fool, after marching my company down there, and standing ready all winter to flog the whole British nation the moment any of 'em stept a foot on to our land, if I should now have to march back again and give up the land, and all without flogging a single son-of- a-gun of 'em. But they said it was no use-it couldn't be helped; Mr. Netherlands had given the land away to the British, and the President had agreed to do jest as Mr. Neth- erlands said about it, and all we could do now was to get as much pay for it as we could. So I sot down and figured it up a little, to see how much it would come to, for I used to cypher to the rule of three when I went to school, and I found it would come to a pretty round sum. There was, in the first place, about two millions of boundary line. This would transfer to the British Provinces some two mil- lions of acres of land, that was resolutely claimed by the State of Maine. The matter was warmly discussed in the Legislature, and a strong party was violently opposed to giving up the territory-they would rather fight for it; they contended that the General Government had no authority to cede away the territory of a sovereign State. It was understood, however, that the General Government would pay a fair indemnity for the land to Maine and Massachusetts (for it was undivided land, belonging to the-two States), and this consideration finally reconciled a majority of the Legislature to the ar- rangement. What Captain Jack Downing and his brave Downingville boys thought of the matter will be leaded from the accompanying letter, from the Captain to the Portland Courier. l OUT OP TIEe SENATE. 161 acres of land. This, considerin' the timber there was on it, would certainly be worth a- dollar an acre, and that would be two millions of dollars. i Then there was two or three. thou- sand inhabitants, say twenty-five hundred ; we must be paid for them, too ; and how much are they worth? I've read in . the newspapers that black slaves, at the South, sell for three or four hundred dollars apiece. I should think, then, that white ones ought to fetch eight hundred. This, according to the rule of three, would be two hundred thousand dollars. Then there's the pretty little town of Madawaska, that our Legislater made last winter, already cut and dried, with town officers all chosen, and everything ready for the British -to nse without any more -trouble. We ought to have pay for this, too, and I should think it was worth ten thousand dollars, And then the town of Madawaska has chosen Mr. Lizote to be a representative in the Legislater, and as the British can take him right into the Parliament, without choosing him over again, they ought to pay us for that, too. Now, I have read in the newspapers that it s6metimes costs, in England, two hundred thousand dollars-to c0hoose a representative to Par- liament, reckoning all the grog they drink and all the money they pay for votes. But I wouldn't be screwing about it, so I putt Mr. Lizote down at one hundred thousand dollars. And then I footed up, and found it to be: For land, including timber..........................$2,000,000 For inhabitants, including women and children........ 200,000 For the-town of Madawaska, officers and all............ 10,000 For Mr. Lisote, all ready to go to Parliament........ 100,000 Total.......................................... $2,310,00 This was a pretty round sum, and I begun to think, come 7 * page: 162-163[View Page 162-163] 162 MY 'lYTY TEARS to divide it out, it would be a slice apiece worth having, especially if we didn't give the Feds any of it; and I sup- posed we shouldn't, as there wasn't any of 'em there in the caucus to help see about it. In this view of the-subject, I almost made up my mind that we ought to be patriotic enough to give it up, and help the General government out of the hobble they had got into. And I was jest agoing to get up and make a speech, and tell 'em so, when Mr. McCrate, of Nobleborough, and Captain Smith, of Westhrook, two of the best fellers in our party, came along and see what I was figuring about, and says they, "Captain Downing, are you going to sell your country?'" In a minute I felt something rise right up in my throat, that' felt as big as an ox-yoke. As soon as I got so I could speak, says I, "No, mver, while my name is Jack Downing, or my old rifle can carry a bullet." They declared, too, that they wouldn't sell out to the General Government, nor the British, nor nobody else. And we stuck it out most of the evening, till we found out how it was going, and then we cleared out; and as soon as the matter was fairly settled, I started off for Madawaska, for I was afraid, if my company should hear of it before I got there, it would make a blow up among 'em, and I should have to court-martial 'em. When I first told 'em how the jig was up with us, that the British were going to have the land without fighting about it, I never see fellows so mad- before in my life, unless it was Major Eaton, at Washington, when he sot out to flog Mr. Ing- ham. They said, if they could only have had one good battle, they wouldn't care a snap about it, but to be played tom-fool with in this way, they wouldn't bear it. They were -so mad OUT F THE SENAT. 163 they hopped right up and down, and declared they never would go back till they had been over to Fredericton and pulled the jail down, or thrashed some, of the New Brunswick ! boys. But, after awhile, I pacified 'em by telling 'em if we didn't get a chance to fight here, I rather thought we might away off to Georgia, for there was something of a bobbery kicking up; and if the President should want troops to go on there, I was very sure my company would be one of the first he would send for. So here we are, lying upon our arms, not knowing what to do. I have written to the President, and hope to hear from' , him soon. If the land is to go, I want to know it in seasqn to get off before it's all over; for I'll be hanged if ever I'll belong to the British. Your distrest friend, CAPTAIN JACK DOWNING. page: 164-165[View Page 164-165] 164 My TMRTY YEARS LETTER XXVII. CAPTAIN DOWNING RELATES A CONFIDENTIAL CONVERSATION WITH PRESIDENT JACKSON WHLE ON A JOURNEY TO TENNESSEE, WASHNGTOx CITY, October 20, 1832. So the Editor .of the Portland Courier, aid'y. Dowzn East, in the State of Maine: [O, dear! seemns to me I never shall get there again.] MY DEAR OLD FIBzD :-I haven't done anything this three months that seemed so natural as to set down and write to you. To write the name- of the Portland Courier raises my sperits right up. It makes me feel as if I was again talking with you, and Uncle Joshua, and Cousin Ephraim, and Cousin Nabby, and Ant Sally, and all df 'em. I and, President Jack- son got back here yesterday from Tennessee, where we've been gone most all summer. And a long journey we've had of it, too. 'I thought that from here to Portland was a dread- ful ways, but. it's a great deal further to Tennessee. I didn't think before that our country was half so large as I find it is. It seems as if there was no end to it ; for when we got clear to Tennessee the President said we wan't ]ialf way across it. I couldn't hardly believe him; but he stood tu it we wanft, ".Why," says he, "Jack, I've got the largest country in the world,- and the hardest- to govern tu. Say what you will of free Governments, where folks will act pretty much as they are a mind to, it's the hardest-rork to administer it-that ever OUT OF THE SENATE 165 I did. I had rather fight forty New Orleans battles than to govern this everlasting great country one year. There are s. ' many, you see, who want to have a finger in the pie, it's the most difficult business you can imagine. You thou t you had a tough time of it, Jack, to take care of them are- small matters down to Madawaska last winter, with your brave company of Downingville. boys. But that's no more than a drop in the bucket to being President one month. I tell you, Jack, there isn't a monarch in Europe who has so hard a time of it as I have. There are so many cooks, the broth most, always comes out rather bad. -If I have to write a message, one must put in a sentende, and another a sentence, and another, till it gets so at last I can't hardly tell whether I've written any of it myself or not. And sometimes I have a good mind to throw it all in the fire and say nothing at all. But then, again, that won't do, for since I've undertaken to be President, I must go through with it. And then there was such a pulling and hauling for offices along in the outset, it seemed as though they would pull me to pieces. If I gave an office to one, Mr. Ingham or Mr. Branch would be mad, and if I gave iS to another, Mr. Van Buren wouldn't like it, and if I gave it to another, perhaps Mrs. Eaton would make a plaguy. fuss about it. One wanted me to do this thing, and another-. wanted me to do that; and it., was -nothing but quarrel the whole time. At last Mr. Van Buren said he'd resign if I would turn the rest out. So I made a scattering among 'em, and turned 'em all out in a heap-all but Mr. Lewis and Mr. Kendall, who staid to give me -their friendly advice and help : me through my trying difgiculties. , "And then, again, to be so slandered as I have been in the ,i page: 166-167[View Page 166-167] 166 - MY THRTY YEARS papers, it is enough to wear the patience of Job out. And if I got a little angry at the contrariness of the Senate, they must needs call me a 'roaring lion,' the rascals. But that Senate did use me shamefully. The very best nominations I made, they always rejected.- To think the stupid heads should reject Mr. Van Buren--decidedly the greatest man in the country-it was too provoking. Yes, Mr. Van Buren is the first man in this country ; and jest between you and me, Jack, he's the only man in it that is well qualified to succeed me in the government of this great nation of twenty-four republics. And he must come in, too, or the country won't be worth a stiver much longer. There's Clay, he would make pretty work of it, if he should come in. Why, Jack, he would gamble one-half of the country away in two years, and spend the other half in digging canals and building railroads ; and when the funds in the Treasury failed, he would go to the United States Bank and get more. "Calhoun would break the Union to pieces in three months if he was President. He's trying all he can now to tear off something of a slice from it at the South. And as for Wirt, he's a fiddling away with the Anti-Masons. Letting Anti- Masonry alone, he's a pretty good sort of a man; but he hasn't energy enough to steer our crazy ship of state in these stormy times. I would sooner trust it in the hands of Mrs. Eaton than him. There's no one fit for it but Mr. Van Buren ; and if it was not for getting him in, I wouldn't have consented to stand for another term. But, my dear friend, by stopping to tell you some of the conversation I and the President had along the road, I have almost forgot to tell you anything about ffiyself and the thou- OUT OF THE SENATE. 167 sand things I met with on my journey. But I cannot write any more to-day. I expect to start from here Monday, on my way to Portland. You may hear from me a few times before I get there, as I shall stop along by the way some, to see how matters go in Pennsylvany and New York. If you have a chance, send my love to all my folks up at Downingville, and tell 'em old Jack is alive and hearty. I remain your loving friend, CAPTAIN JACK DOWNING. page: 168-169[View Page 168-169] 168 MY THRTY TEARS LETTER JlXlX,* CAPTAIN DOWNING RUNS AN EXPRESS FROM BALTIMORE TO WASHNG- TON, AND FOOTS IT THROUGH PENNSYVANIA AVENUE TO THE PRESI- DENTS HOUSE. WASHNGTON CrITY Nov. 5, 1832. To the 'Editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariner's Church Building, second story, eastern end, Fore street, Portland, away Dowan East, in the State of Maine : MY DEAR OLD FRIEND:-Here I am, back again to Washing- ton, though I've been as far as Baltimore, on my way Down East, to see you and the rest of my uncles, and aunts, and cousins. And what do you think I posted back to Washing- ton for? I can tell you. When I got to Baltimore I met an express coming on, full chisel, from Philadelphia, to carry the * EDITORIAL Nor.-The second election of General Jackson to the Presi- dency, November 4, 1832, was a marked era in American politics. The great questions in issue before the country were a re-charter of the United States Bank, a high tariff for the protection of manufactures, distribution among the States of the proceeds of the sales of public lands, and a general system of internal improvements by the Federal Government. Mr. Clay was the leader of the party in favor of these measures, and their candidate for the Presi- dency. Mr John Sergeant, of Pennsylvania, was placed on the same ticket for Vice-President. On the opposite side, General Jackson was the candidate for a second term, and Mr. Van Buren for Vice-President, It will be re- membered, that after the blow-up or resignation of General Jackson's first -Cabinet, Mr. Van Buren had been sent, by the President, as Minister to En- gland, but, on the meeting of Congress, his nomination was rejected by the Senate-much to the chagrin of General Jaekson; whereupon he was taken OUT OF THE SENATE. -69 news to Washington that Pennsylvany had gone all hollow for Old Hickory's second election. The poor fellow that was carrying it had got so out of breath, that he declared he couldn't go no further if the President never heard of it. Well, thinks I, it will be worth a journey back to Washing- ton, jest to see the old Gineral's eyes strike fire when he hears of it. So says I, "I'll take it, and carry it on for you, if you are a mind to." He kind of hesitated at first, and was afraid I might play a trick upon him ; but when he found out my name was Jack Downing, he jumped off his horse quick enough. "I'll trust it with you," says he, " as quick as I would with the President himself." So I jumped on, and whipped up. And sure enough, as true as you are alive, I did get to Washington before dark, though I had but three hours to go it in, and it's nearly forty miles. It was the smartest horse that ever I backed, except one that belongs to the President. But, poor fellow, he's so done tu I guess he'll never run another express. Jest before I got to Washington, say about two miles from the' city, the poor fellow keeled up, up by the " unterrified Democracy " to run as Vice-President on the ticket with "Old Hickory;" and both were triumphantly elected. Out of two hundred and eighty-eight votes, Mr. Olay received but forty-nine. South Carolina refused to vote for either party, and threw away her vote on Gover- nor Floyd, of Virginia. Vermont voted for Mr. Wirt, the Anti-Masonic can- didate, and the rest voted for "Old Hickory." Mr. Van Buren, received the same vote, with the exception of Pennsylvania, whose vote for Vice-President was east for one of her own sons, Mr. Wilkins, then a Senator in Congress. In that election there was intense anxiety throughout the country in regard to-the vote of Pennsylvania, as was recently the case in the election of Mr. Buchanan, for it was thought the main question would turn on the result in that State. This state of things accounts for the running of the express from Baltimore to Washington by Major Downing, and other curious matters re- lated in the two accompanying letters. page: 170-171[View Page 170-171] 1 O MY THRTY YEARS and couldn't go another'step. I had lost my hat on the way, and was too much in a hurry to pick it up, and -he had thrown me off twice and-torn my coat pretty bad, so that I didn't look very trig to go through the city, or go to the President's fine overlookit, considering the business I was coming upon; so I I catched the express, and pulled foot right through Pennsyl- vany Avenue, Without any hat, and torn coat sleeves and Jii , houe. utnotithtaning I newthePreidet wul overlook'it, collknsieigtebuiesIwscoiguo;s OUT OF THE SENATE. 11l coat-tail flying. The stage offered to carry me, but I thought I wouldn't stop for it. Almost the first person I met was Mr. Duff Green. Says he, "Captain Downing, what's thematter?"I held up the express and shook it at him, but never answered him a word, ' and pulled on. He turned and walked as fast as he could without running, and followed me. Pretty soon I met Mr. Gales, of the Intelligencer, and says he, "For mercy' sake, Captain Downing, what's the matter? Have you been chased by a wolf, or Governor Houston, or have you got news from Pennsylvania?"I didn't turn to the:right nor left, but shook the express at him and run like wildfire. When I came up to the President's house, the old gentleman was standing in the door. He stepped quiclker than I ever see him before, and met me at the gate. Says he, "My dear friend Downing, what's the matter? Has the United States Bank been trying to bribe you, and you are trying to run away from 'em? They may buy over Webster and Clay and such trash, but I knew if they touched you they would-get the wrong pig by the ear." As he said this, Duff Green hove in sight, puffing and blowing at full speed; "Oh," said the President, "Duff Green wants to have a lick at you, does he? Well, don't retreat another step, Mr. Down- ing ; I'll stand between you and harm." Upon that he called his boy, and told him to bring his pistols in a moment. By this time I made out to get breath enough jest to say Penn- sylvany, and to shake the express at him. The old man's color changed in a minute. Says he, "Come in, Mr. Downing, come in-set down-don't say a word to Duff." So we went in, and shut t]he door. "Now," says the- President, looking page: 172-173[View Page 172-173] 1 2 MY THRIY YEARS as though- he would route a regiment in five minutes, " now speak, and let me know whether I am a dead man or alive." "Gineral," says I, "it's all over with"--. "I won't hear a word of it," says he, stomping his foot. His eyes flashed fire so that I trembled and almost fell backward. But I see he didn't understand me. "Dear Gineral," says I, "it's all over with Clay and the Bank." At that he clapt his hands and jumpt like a boy. I never see the President jump before, as much as I've been acquainted with him. In less than a minute he looked entirely like another man. His eyes were as calm and as bright as the moon jest coming out from be- hind a black thunder-cloud. He clenched my hand, and gave it such a shake I didn't know but he would pull it off. Says he, "Jack, I knew Penn- sylvany would never desert me, and if she has gone for me I'm safe. And now if I don't make them are Bank chaps hug it, my name isn't Andrew Jackson. And after all, Jack, I aint- so glad on my own account that I am re-elected as I am for the coutry and Mr. Van Buren. This election has all been on Mr. Van Buren's account, and we shall get him now to be President after me. And you know, Jack, that he's the only man, after me, that's fit to govern this country." The President has made me promise to stop and spend the night with him, and help him rejoice over the victory. But I haven't time to write any more before the mail goes. Your loving friend, CAPTAIN JACK DOWNING. * OUT or THr SBNATI. .U LETTER XXX. CAPTAIN DOWNING BECEIVES A MAJOR'S COMMSSION, AND IS APPOINTED TO MARCH AGAINST TB NULLIFIERS, WASHNGTON CITY, Dec. 8, 1832. To the Editor of thre Portland Courier, in the Mariners' Chrcs Building, sewnd story, eastern end, Fore street, Portland, awsay Down East, n the State of Maine. MY DEAB OLD FRIEND --I believe the last time I wrote to you was when I come back with the express from Baltimore, and Duff Green chased me so through the streets to find out what I was bringing, and the PreSident thought he was running to get a lick at me, and called for his pistols to stand between me and harm, you know. Well, I intended to turn right about again after I had made the old gentleman's heart jump up by telling him that he had got Pennsylvany, and would be elected --as sure as eggs was bacon, and make the best of my way to- ward Portland. For you can't think how I long to see you and Uncle Joshua and Ant Keziah and Cousin Ephraim and Cousin Nabby and -all the rest of the dear souls up in Down-: ingville. It seems as though it was six years instead of six months since I left that part of the country, and when I shall be able to get back again is more than I can tell now ; for I find when a man once gets into public life he can never say his time is his own ; he must always stand ready to go where his country calls. The long and the short of it is, the Presi- page: 174-175[View Page 174-175] 1 4 MY THRTY YEARS dent has got so many other fish for me to fry, it's no use for me to think of going home yet. That evening, after I got back with the express, the President said we must honor this J, REJOICING OVER THE VICTORY IN PENNSYVANIA. victory in Pennsylvany with a glass of wine. "I am sure," said he, "Captain Downing, you will have no objection to take a glass with me on this joyful occasion." I told him as II t i), OUT OF THE SENATE. 115 for that matter, I supposed I could take a glass of wine upon a pinch, even if the occasion was not half so joyful. So we had two or three bottles full brought in, and filled up the glasses. "And now," says the President, "I will give you a toast. The 'State of Pennsylvany-the most patriotic State- in the Union ; for though I go against all her great public in- terests, still she votes for me by an overwhelming majority." He then called for my toast. And what could I give but my dear native "Downingville-the most genuine, unwaver- ing Democratic Republikan town in New England." "t Good," said the President; " and that Downingville has never been rewarded yet. You shall have a Post-Office estab- lished there; and name to me which of your friends you would like should be Postmaster, and he shall be appointed,." The President then gave his second toast: "Martin Van Buren, the next President of the United States, and the only man in the country that is fit for it. Captain Downing, your toast if you please." So I gave, "Uncle Joshua Downing, the most thorough- going Republikan in Downingville." "Good," said the President; "I -understand- you, Captain Downing; your Uncle Joshua shall have the 'Post-Office." His third toast was-the "Editor of the Washingtton Globe ; and mine was the "Editor of the Portland Courier." But I told him he musn't ask me for any more toasts, for that was, as fur as I could go. The President toasted some more of his friends, sich as Ma- jor Eaton, and Mr. Kendall, and Mr. Lewis, and the Hon. Isaac Hill, and so on, 'til it got to be pretty late in the evening ; and I told the President I would be glad if he would excuse me, for l. ' page: 176-177[View Page 176-177] "6 . MY THRTY YEAS I wanted to start early in the morning on my way Down East, and I thought I should feel better if I could get a little nap first. And, besides, I had got to go and get the old lady that used-to do my washing and mending to patch up my coat, that got such a terrible shipwreck by being thrown off the horse with the express. "Start Down East to-morrow morning, Captain Downing," said he; " you must not think of it. I have an important and delicate job on hand, which I can't get along with very well without your assistance. There's that miserable, ambitious Calhoun-has been trying this dozen years to be President of the United States, but he can't make out; so now he is deter- mined to lop off a few of the Southern States and make him- self President of them. But if he don't find he's mistaken, my name isn't Andrew Jackson," As he said this, he started up on his feet, and begun to march across the floor with a very soldier-like step, and his eyes fairly flashed fire. "No," said he, "Captain Downing, he must wait till some- body else is President besides me before he can do that. Let him move an inch by force in this business, if he dares. I'll chase him as far beyond Tennessee as it is from here there but what Pll catch him, and string him up by the neck to the first tree I can find. I must send some troops out there to South Carolina to reconnoiter and keep matters strait, and your'gal- lant defense of Madawaska last winter points you out as the most suitable man to take the command. I shall give you a major's commission tomorrow, and wish you to enlist two or three companies of brave volunteers and hold yourself in read- iness to obey orders. In case we should have to come to a OUT OF THE SENATE. 1TT real brush," said the President, "I shall take command my self, and make you lieutenant-general. But I wish you to bear in mind, let what will come, never to shoot that Calhoun. Shooting is too good for him. He must dance upon nothing, with a rope round his neck. As for your coat, Captain Down- ing, don't trouble the old lady with it. I'll give you one of mine to wear 'til you get a suit of regimentals made." I told him I felt a little uneasy about taking command among strangers, unless I could have my Downingville com- pany with me. "Send for them," said the President; "by all means, send for them. There are no troops equal to 'em, except it is the Tennessee boys." So I shalfforthwith send orders to Sargent Joel to march 'em on here. .As I am to have my commission to-morrow, I shall venture to subscribe myself your friend, -MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER XXXI. UNCLE JOSHUA TELLS WHAT A TUSSLE THEY HAD IN DOWNINGVILLE TO KEEP THE FEDERALISTS FROM PRAISING THE PRESIDENT'S PROCLAMA- TION AGAINST THE NULLIFIERS. DOWNINGVILLE, State of MaIine, Dec. 27, 1832. To Major Jack Downing, at Washington City, or if he has gone to South Carolina, I want President Jackson to send this along tu him. MY DEAR NEFFU :-We had almost gin you up for dead, you had been gone so long before we got your letter in the Port- land Courier, telling how you had been away to Tennessee along with President Jackson. Your poor mother hdi pined page: 178-179[View Page 178-179] 178 MY THRTY YEARS away so that she had nothing left, seemingly, but skin and bones, and your Cousin Nabby had cried her eyes half out of her- head, poor girl. But when the Portland Courier came, bringing that are letter of yourn, Downingville was in a com- plete uproar all day. Sargent Joel had come home from Madawaska and dismissed your company, and gone to work in the woods chopping wood. But as soon as he heard your let- ter had come, he dropped his ax, and I don't think he's touched it since; and he put on his regimentals, and scoured up the old piece of a -scythe that he used to have for a sword and stuck it into his waisthand, and strutted about like a major- gineral Your mother begun to pick up her crumbs imme- diately; and has been growing fat ever since. And Nabby run about from house to house, like a crazy bed-bug, telling 'em Jack was alive, and was agoing to build up Downing- ville and make something out of it yet. -We got your last letter and the President's proclamation both together, though I see your letter was written two days first. You know I've made politics my study for thirty years, and I must say it's the most ginuine Republikan thing I ever come acrost. But what was most provoking about it was, all the old Federalists in town undertook to praise it tu. Squire Dudley, you know, was always a Federalist, and an Adams man tu. I met him the next day after the proclama- tion come, -and he was chock full of the matter. Says he, "Mr. Downing, that proclamation is jest the thing. It's the true constitutional doctrine. We all support the President in this business through thick and thin." Myi dander began to rise, and I could not hold in any lon- ger. Says I, "Squire Dudley, shet up your clack, or I'll knock: your clam-shells together pretty quick. It's got to be a pretty time of day indeed, if after we've worked so hard to get President Jackson in, you Federalists are going to undertake 4. OUTf OF THE SENATE. :1X9 to praise his proclamation as much as though he was your-own President. You've- a right to grumble and find- fault with it as much as you like ; but-don't let me hear you say another word in favor of it, if you do I'll make daylight shine through you." The old man hauled in his horns and meeched off, look- ing shamed enough. The next day we concluded to have a public meeting to pass resolutions in favor of the proclamation. '"I was appoint- ed chairman. The Federal party all came flocking round and wanted to come in and help praise the President. We told 'em no ; it was our President and our proclamation, and they must keep their distance. So we shut the doors and went on with our resolutions. By andby the Federal party begun to hurra for Jackson outside the house. At that I told Sargent Joel and your Cousin Ephraim, and two or. three more of the young Democrats, to go out and clear the coast of them are fellers. And they went out, and Sargent Joel drew his piece of a scythe and went at 'em, and the Federalists run like a flock of sheep with a dog after 'em. So we finished our reso- lutions without getting a drop of Federalism mixed with 'em, and sent 'em on to the President by Sargent Joel; He. got his company together last week, and they filled their. knap- sacks with bread, and -sausages, and doe-nuts, and'started for Washington according to your orders. I was glad:to see that hint in your letter about a Post-Office here. We need one very much. And if the President should think I ought, to have it,- being I've always been such- a good friend to him, why you know, Jack, I'm always ready to serve my country. So I remain your loving uncle, JOSHUA DOWNING. P. S.-If the President shouldn't say anything more about page: 180-181[View Page 180-181] 180 MY THRTY YEARS the Post-Office, I think you had better name it to him again before you go to South Carolina,; for if anything should hap- pen to you there, he might never do any more about it. LETTER XXTTT. MAJOR DOWNING DESCRIBES THE ARRIVAL OF SARGENT JOEL WITH THE COMPANY AT WASHNGTON. WASHNGTON. CITY, Jan. 4, 1833. To my dear Cousin Ephraim Downing, what watches the Legislater at Augusta, away Down East, in the State of Maine, while 1 stay:here and look arter Congress and the President DEAR COUSIN :--Sargent Joel got here day, before yesterday, with my hearty old company of Downingville boys, that went down to Madawaska with me last winter. They cut rather a curious figure marching through Pentsylvany Avenu. One half of 'em had worn their shoes out so that their toes stuck out like the heads of go many young turtles, and t'other half had holes through their knees or elbows, and-Sargent Joel marched ahead of 'em, swinging his piece of an old scythe for a sword, and inquiring of every one he -met-for Major Jack Downing. They all told him to keep along till he got to the President's house, which was the biggest house in the city except the Con- gress house, and there he would find me. I and the President were-taking a little walk out, and talking about Mr. Calhoun and so on, when the President begun to stare as though he saw, a catamount. He started back, and says he, "Major Downing, if my eyes don't deceive me, there's nullification now, coming up Pennsyl- - vany Avenu." He begun to call for his pistols, and to tell his men to fasten up the doors, when I looked round, and- I knew r OUT OF THE SENATE. 181 Joel's strut in a minute. Says I, "Dear Gineral, that's no nullification, but it's what 'll put a stopper on nullification pretty quick if it once gets to South Carolina. It's my Down- ingville company, commanded by Sargent Joel." At that O - , it - ? the President looked more pleased than I've seen him before since hie got the news of 1the vote of Pennsylvany. He ordered 'em into the east room, and gave,'em as much as they could eat and drink of the best the lhousec affords. He has found ;ii page: 182-183[View Page 182-183] 182 ' MY THRTY, YEARS quarters for 'em in the neighborhood, and says we must be ready to march for South Carolina whenever he says the word. But I'll tell you what 'tis, Cousin Ephraim, I begin to grow a little kind of wamble-cropt about goin' to South Carolina, arter all. If they've got many such fellers there as one Gineral Blair there is here from that State, I'd sooner take my chance in the woods, forty miles above Downingville, fighting bears, and wolves, and catamounts, than come within gun-shot of one of these Carolina giants. He's a whaler of a feller-as big as any two men in Downingville. They say lie wioghs over three hundred pounds. About a week ago he met Gineral Duff Green-in the street,'and he fell afoul of him with a-great club and knocked him down, and broke his arm, and beat him almost to death, jest because he got mad at something Mr. Green said in his paper. And what makes me feel more skittish about getting into the hands of such chaps is, because he says he couldn't help it. He says all his friends persuaded him not to meddle with Gineral Green, and he tried as hard as he could to let him alone, but he " found himself unequal to the effort." So Green like to got killed. The folks here sot out to carry him to court about it, but he said he wouldn't go, and so he armed himself with four pis- tols, and two dirks, and a great knife, and said he'd shoot the first man that touched him. Last night he Went to the theater with all his arms and coutrements about him. And after he sot there a spell, and all the folks were looking to see the play go on, he draws out npe of his pistols and fires it at the players. Then there was a dreadful uproar. They told him he must clear out about the quickest. But he said if they'd let him alone lle'd behave like a gentleman. So they went on with the play again. By and by he draws out another pistol, and points- it to- wards the players. At that there was a whole parcel of 'em OUT OF THE SENATE, 183 seized him and dragged him out into another room, big as he was. But pretty soon he got upon his feet, and begun to rave like a mad ox. He pulled off his coat and threw it down, and declared he'd -fight the whole boodle of 'em. The con- stables were all so frightened they cut and run, and nobody dared to go a near him, till he got cooled down a little, when some of his friends coaxed him away to a tavern. Now, as for going to South Carolina to fight such chaps as these, I'd sooner let nullification go to grass and eat mullen. Sargent Joel told me, when he left Downingville, you had -jest loaded up with apples and one thing or another to go down to Augusta to peddle"em out; and that you was agoing to stay there while the Legislater folks were there. So I thought it would be a good plan for you and I to write to one another about once a week, or so, how matters get along. So I remain your loving cousin, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER XXIII. MAJOR DOWNING GIVES HS OPINION ABOUT NULLIFICATION AND ILLUS- TRATES IT WITH A LUCID EXAMPLE. WASHINGTON CITY, Jan. 17, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, 'i the Mariners' Church Building, second story, eastern end, Fore street, away Down East, in the State of Maine. MY KIND AND DEAR OLD FRIEND :-The President's message to Congress makes crackiig work here. Mr. Calhoun shows his teeth like a lion. Mr. McDuffie is cool as a cowcumber, * EDITORIAL NOTE.-South Carolina took very violent ground against Mr. Clay's American system, and especially against the tariff for the protection of manufactures, threatening to nullify the tariff law, and in case an attempt page: 184-185[View Page 184-185] 184 MY THrTY YEARS though they say he's got a terrible tempest inside of him, that he'll-let out before long. For my part, I think the President's message is about right. I was setting with the President in A the east room last night, chatting about one thing and another, and the President says he, "Major Downing, have you read my message that I sent to Congress to-day." I told him I was made to enforce it, to secede from the Union. And notwithstanding the triumphant election of General Jackson, in 1832, gave ample assurance that all she had asked and desired would soon be accomplished, she refused to be pacified, and, like a rowdy in a passion, declared she'd have a fight anyhow. Accordingly, in less than three weeks after the triumph of her principles in the overwhelming re-election of General Jackson, on the 24th of November, she issued her famous Nuification Ordinance, under the following title: "An ordinance to nullify certain acts of the Congress of the United States, pur- porting to be laws laying duties and imposts on the importation of foreign commodities." This ordinance, after -enumerating them grievances complained of under the acts of Congress, and requiring all the officials of the State to take an oath, "well andtruly to obey, execute and enforce this ordinance, and such act or acts of tiheo Legislature as may be passed in pursuance thereof,' goes on to say: "And we, the people of South Carolina, to the end that it may be fully understood by the Government of the United States and the people of the co States, that we are determined to maintain this, our ordinance and decla- ration, at every hazard, do further declare that we will not submit to the ap- pication of force, on the part of the Federal Government, to reduce this State to Obedience," &c. ; and, finally, that any attempt to enforce these acts ' of Congress shall be considered "inconsistent with the longer continuance of South Carolina in the Union; and that the people of this State will hence- forth hold themselves absolved from all further obligation to maintain or preserve the political connection with the people of the other States, and will forthwith proceed to organize a separate Government, and do all other acts and things which sovereign and independent States may of right do." This ordinance was the act of a State Convention, held at Columbia, and was signed by more than a hundred of the most prominent and influential men of the State. It was to take effect on the first day of February follow- ing, and placed the State in open rebellion to the General Government.- The ordinance was officially 'communicated to President Jackson early in Decem- ber, and on the 10th of that month the President issued his famousproclama- tion against Nulification. This was an able and patriotic document, and added : ',; OUT OF TH EATE SENA 185 hadn't. "Well," says he, "I should like to hare you read it- and give me your opinion upon it." So he handed it to me, and I sot down and read it through. And when I got through, "Now," says I, "Gineral, I'll tell you jest what I think of this ere business. When I was a youngster, some of us Downingville boys used to go down to much to the popularity of the President among all conservative citizens throughout the country; so much so that, according to the testimony of Major Downing, and Uncle Joshua, the Democrats of Downingville had the greatest difficulty imaginable to keep the Federal party from praising it. -After an elaborate constitutional argument upon the subject, in which South Carolina is shown to be clearly and grossly in the wrong, the President makes a touching and forcible appeal to the feelings and patriotism of the citizens of that State, from which we make some brief. quotations : "Fellow-citizens of my native State, let me not only admonish you, as the first Magistrate of our common country, not to incur the penalty of its laws, but use the influence that a father would over his children whom he saw rush ing to certain ruin," &c. * * * * * * You are free members of a flourishing and happy Unio.. There is no settled design to oppress you. You have, indeed, felt the unequal operation of laws which may have been unwisely, not unconstitutionally, passed; but that inequality must, necessarily be removed At the very moment ,when you were madly urged on to the unfortunate course you have beghn, aechange in the public opinion had commenced." * * * "I adjure you, as you value the peace of your country, the lives of its best citizens, and your own fair fame, to retrace your steps. Snatch from the arcives of your State the disorganizing edict of its Convention; bid its members to re-assemble, and promulgate: the decided expressions of your will to remain in the path which alone can conduct you to safety, prosperity and. honor. - Tell them that, compared to disunion, all other evils are light, be. cause that brings with it an accumulation of all. Declare that you will nevet take the field unless the star spangled banner of your country shall float over you; that you will not be stigmatized when dead, and disonored- and scorned while you live, as the authors of the first attack on the Castitution of your country. Its destroyers you cannot be. You may disturb it peace"a you may interrupt the coursb of its prosperity; you may cloud its reputa- tion for stability, but is tranquility wil be restored, its prosperity will " turn, and the stain upon its national character will be transferred, and4 main an eternal blot on the memory of those who caused the disor4er, 8$ . : page: 186-187 (Illustration) [View Page 186-187 (Illustration) ] 186 MY THRTY YEARS. Sebago Pond every. spring and hire out a month or two raft- ing logs across the pond. And one time I and Cousin Ephraim, and Joel, and Bill Johnson, and two or three more of us had each a whopping great log to carry across the pond. It was rather a windy day, and the w'aves kept the logs bobbing up and down pretty considerable bad, so we agreed to bring 'em along side-and-side and lash 'em together and drive some thole-pins in the -outermost logs and row 'em over together. We went along two or three miles pretty well. But -by and by Bill Johnson begun to complain. He was always an un- easy, harum-scarum sort of a chap. Always thought every- body else had an easier time than he had, and, when he was a boy, always used to be complaining that the other boys had more -butter on their bread than he had. Well, Bill was row- ing on the leward side, and he begun to fret and said his side went the hardest, and'he wouldn't give us any peace till one of us changed sides with him. The proclamation then closes with an appeal to the citizens of the United States. We make a brief extract or two: ' Feilow-tizens of the United States :-The threat of unhallowed disunion, the names of those, once respected, by whom it' is uttered, the array of mili- tary force to support it, denote the approach of a crisis in our affairs on which the continuance of our unexampled prosperity, our political existence, and perhaps that of all free- Governments may depend. Having the fullest confidence-in the justness of the legal -and constitutional opinion of my duties which bha been expressed, I rely with equal confidence on your undi- vided support in my determination to execute 'the laws -to preserve the Union by all constitutional means-to arrest, if possible, by moderate, but firm measures,' the -necessity of a recourse' to force." "Fellow-citizens:-The momentous case is before you. On your undivided support of your Government depends the decision of the great question it involves, whether your sacred Union will be preserved, and the blessings it secures to us as one people shall be perpetuated. No one can doubt that the unanimity with which that decision will be expressed will be such as to in- -spire new confidence in republican institutions, and that the prudence, the wisdom and the courage which it will bring to their defense will' transmit them, unimpaired and invigorated, to our children." o I a i iit'Ii , i I'! O i i ";i , page: 188-189[View Page 188-189] 188 MY THRTY -YEARS "Well, Bill hadn't rowed but a little ways on the winward side before he began to fret again, and declared that side went harder than t'other, and he wouldn't touch to row on that side any longer. We told him he had his choice, and he shouldn't keep changing so. But he only fretted the more, and begun to get mad. At last he declared if we didn't change with him in five minutes, he'd cut the lashings and take his log and paddle off alone. And before we hardlyr time to turn round, he de- clared the five minutes were out, and up hatchet and cut the lashings, and away -went Bill on his own log, bobbing and rolling about, and dancing like a monkey, to try to keep on the upper side. The rest of us scrabbled to as well as we could, and fastened our logs together again, though we had a tough match for it, the wind blew so hard. Bill hadn't gone but a little ways before his log begun to roll more and more, and by and by in he went splash,* head and ears.- He came up puffing and blowing, and got hold of the log- and tried to climb up on to it, but the more he tried- the more the log rolled.; and finding it would be gone goose with him pretty soon if he staid there, he begun to sing out like a loon for us to come and take him. We asked him which side, be would row if we would-take his log into the raft again. ' Oh,' says Bill, ' I'll row on either side or both sides- if you want me to, if you'll only come and help me before I sink.-'" "But," said the President, "I hope you didn't help the fool- ish rascal out till he got a pretty good soaking." "He got,- soaked enough before we-got to him," says I, " for he was just ready to sink for the last time, and our logs come pesky near getting scattered, and if they had, we should all gone to the bottoni together. And now, Gineral, this is jest what I think : if you let South Carolina cut the lashings you'll see such a log-rolling in this country as you never see yet." The old Gineral started up and marched across the floor like a boy. OUT OF THE SENATE. 189 Says he,- "Major Downing, she shan't; cut the lashings while my name is Andrew Jackson. Tell Sargent Joel to have his company sleep on their arms- every night." I told him they should be ready at a moment's warning. I wish you would jest give Cousin Ephraim, up to Augusta, a jog to know why he don't write to me and let me know how the Legislater is getting along. I remain your loving friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER X. XXTV. COUSIN EPHRAIM TELLS THE MAJOR HOW MATTERS GET ALONG AT AU- GUSTA, AND GIVES A SPECIMEN OF THE VALUE OF POLITICAL PROMSES. AUGUSTA, State of Maine, Jan. 30, 1833. To Major Jack Downing, at Washington. DEAR COUSIN JACK :-I got your letter some time ago, but I hadn't time to answer it afore now, because I had to go back up to Downingville to get another load of apples. These Leg- islater folkscronch apples down by the wholesale between speeches, and sometimes in the middle of speeches tu. . That afternoon that Mr. Clark spoke all day, I guess I sold nigh upon a half a bushel for cash, and trusted out most three pecks besides. The folks up to Downingville are all pretty well, only your poor old mother ; she's got the reumatics pret- ty bad this winter. She says she wishes with all her heart Jack would come home, and not think of going to South Car- olina. Ever since she heard about Gineral Blair she can't hardly sleep nights, she's so fraid you'll get shot. I tell her there's no danger of you as long as you have President Jack- son one side of you and Sargent Joel t'other. page: 190-191[View Page 190-191] -190 MY THRTY YEARS The Legislater is jogging along here pretty well ; I guess they'll get through about the first of March, if they don't have too many boundary questions come along We made some major-ginerals here t'other day, and I tried to get you elect- ed. Not because I thought you cared much about the office now, but jest for the honor of Downingville. I tried most all the members, and thought to be sure you would come in as slick as grease; for about forty of 'em told me they thought it belonged to you. They said it was against their principles to pledge their votes to anybody; but they whispered in my ear that they would do what they could, and they hadn't scarcely a doubt but what you'd be elected. Sixty-eight of 'em told me you was the best man for it, and would undoubtedly be chosen as a matter of course. And twenty-five of 'em prom- ised me right up and down, by the crook of the elbow, that they would vote for you. Well, Jack, after all this, you didn't get but two votes. By that time I begun to think it wasn't so strange that it took you two years hard fishing before you could get an office. This is the most Democratic Legislater that they have ever had in this State yet. They are most all real ginuine Demo- krats, and they have give Mr. Holmes and Mr. Sprague a ter- rible basting for turning Federalists, and they have turned Mr. Holmes out and put Mr. Shepley in. The Legislater is talking of moving the seat of government back to Portland again. They say it will be better all round. They won't have to go so fur through the snow-drifts to their boarding-houses, and won't have to pay much more than half -so much for their board. And here they have to pay-fourpence apiece every time they are shaved ;--but in Portland they can get shaved by the half dozen for three cents apiece. -I hope they will go, for I can get more for my apples in Portland than I can here. F OUT OF THE SENATE. -19 P. S.-Bill Johnson was married last week, and he quarreled with his wife the very next day. So you see he is the same old sixpence he used to be. He says he'll send a petition to the Legislater to be divorced, and he declares if they don't grant it he'll cut the lashings as he did once on the raft on Sebago Pond, sink or swim. N. B.-Uncle Joshua wished me to ask you to ask the Pres- ident about that Post-Office again, as his commission hasn't come yet. I remain-your loving cousin, EPHRAIM DOWNING. LETTER XXXV.* MAJOR DOWNING GOES UP TOP THE CONGRESS HOUSE AND, LISTENS TO S BEE IF HE CAN HEAR THE GUNS IN SOUTH CAROLINA, AND ALSO HAS A TALK WITH THE PRESIDENT ABOUT THE SLANDER OF THE NEWS- PAPERS1. WASHNGTON CITY, Feb. 1, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariners' Church Building, second story, eastern end, Fore street, away Downi East, in the State of Maine. MY DEAR FRIEND :--This is nullification day, and it's most night, and I aint dead yet, and haint been shot at once to-day. I got up this morning as soon as it was light, and went out, and looked away toward South Carolina, and listened as lard as I could to see if I could hear the guns crackin' and the * EDITORIAL NOTE.-The 1st of February, 1833, was the day appointed by South Carolina for putting in force her-nullifying ordinance. page: 192-193[View Page 192-193] 192 bIY THRtY YEARS cannons roarin'. But it was all still as a mouse. And I've been up top the Congress house five or six times to-day, and listened aid listened; but all the firing I could hear was in- side the-Congress house itself; where the members were shoot- ing their speeches at each other. I had my company all ready this morning, with their dinners in their 'napsacks, to start as "STENING FOR THE GUNS IN SOUTH CAROLINA. quick as we heard a single gun. We shan't go till we hear something from these nullifiers, for the President says he aint agoing to begin the scrape ; but if the nullifiers begin it, then the hardest must fend off. Yesterday a friend handed me a couple of papers printed at Hallowell, away down pretty near to Augusta, in the State of I OUT OF' THE SENATE. 193 Maine, called the American Advocate, and I found something in 'em that made me as mad as a Mai ch hair. The first one men- tioned that Captain Dow was chosen Mayor of Portland, and then said : "He is the reputed author of the Jack Downing letters that have been published in the Portland Courier." The other paper, that was printed two or three days afterward, said: "Mr. Dow, the new Mayor of Portland, is not the au- thor of Jack Downing's letters; they are written by- the edi- tor of the Portland Courier." Now, Mr.- Editor, my good old friend, isn't this too bad? I haven't come acrost any thing that made me feel so wamble-cropt this good while. Jest as if Major Jack Downing couldn't write his own letters. I've been to school, put it altogether, off and on, more than six months ; and, though I say it myself, I always used to be called the best scholar among all the boys in Downingville, and most always used to stand at the head of my class. I'd been through Webster's spelling book before I was fifteen, and before I was twenty I could cypher to the rule of three. And now to have it said that I don't write my own letters is too bad. It's what I call a rascally shame. I was so boiling over with it last night, that I couldn't hold in ; and so I took the ,papers, and went in and showed them to the President. I al- ways go to the President when I have any difficulty, and when he has any he comes to me ; so we help one another along as well as we can. When the President had read it, says he: "Major Downing, it's strange to see how this world is given to lying. The public papers are beginning to slander you jest as they always do me. I haven't written scarcely a pub- lic document since I've been President but what it's been laid off to Mr. Van Buren, or Mr. McLane, or Mr. Livingston, or Mr. Taney, or somebody or other. And how to help this slanderous business I don't know. But -it's too provoking, Major, that's certain. Sometimes I've a good mind to make page: 194-195[View Page 194-195] 194 MY THRTY YEARS Congress pass a law that every editor who says I don't write my proclamations and messages, or that you don't write your letters, shall forfeit his press and types; and, if that don't stop him, that he shall be strung up by the neck without judge or jury." And now, Mr. Editor, I wish you would jest give that Hal- lowell man a hint to mind his own p's and q's in future, and look out for his neck. And as you know very well that I do write my own letters, I would thank you jest to tell the public so.- I remain your sincere and loving friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER XXXVI. COUSIN EPHRAIM EXPLAINS THE SCIENCE OF LAND SPECULATON.- AUGUSTA, State of AMaine, March 4, 1833. To Major Jack- Downing, at President Jadcson's house, in Wash- ington City. ; DEAR COUSIN JACK :--The Legislater folks have all cleared out to-day, one arter t'other, jest like a flock of sheep; and some of 'em have left me in the lurch tu, for they cleared out without paying me for my apples. Some of 'emn went off in my debt as much as twenty cents, and some ninepence, and a shilling, and so on. They all kept telling me when they got paid off they'd settle up with me. And so I waited with pa- tience till they adjourned, and thought I was as sure of my money as though it was in the bank. But, my patience, when they did adjourn, such a hubbub I guess you never see. J They were flying about from one room OUT OP THE SENATE. 195 to another, like so many pigeons shot in the head. They run into Mr. Harris' room, and. clawed the money off his table, hand over fist. I brustled up to some of 'em, aLd tried to set- tle. I come to one man that owed me twelve cents, and he had a ninepence in change ; but he wouldn't let me have that, because he should lose half a cent. So, while we were both- ering about it, trying to get it changed,-the first I knew the rest of 'em had got their money in their pockets, and were off lik a shot-some of 'em in stages, and some in sleighs, and some footing it. I out and followed arter em, but 't was no use; I couldn't catch one of 'em. And as for my money, and apples tul, I guess I shall have too whistle for 'em now. It's pesky hard,- for rowe four and sixpence here yet for my board, and I've paid away every cent I've got for my apples, and don't know but I shall have to come down with another load to clear out my expenses. Howsomever, you know Uncle Joshua always told us never to cry for spilt milk, so I mean to hold my head up yet. I don't know but I shall have to give up retailing apples, I meet with so many head flaws about it. I was thinking that, soon as the Legislater adjourned, I'd take a load of apples and apple-sass, and a few sassages, and come on to Washington, and go long with your company too South Carolina. But they say Mr. Clay has put a stopper on that nullification business, and it's ten chanches to one you won't have to go. I don't care so much about the apple business after all, for I've found out a way to get rich forty times as fast- as I can by retailing apples, or as you can by hunting after an office. And I advise you to come right home, as quick as you -can come. Here's a business going on here that you can get rich by ten times -as quick as you can in any office, even if you should get to be President. , The President don't have but twenty-five thousand dollars a year; but in this 'ere business COi e - page: 196-197[View Page 196-197] MY THRTY YEARS that's going on here, a man can make twenty-five thousand dollars in a week if he's a mind to, and not work hard neither. I s'pose by this time you begin to feel rather in a pucker to know what this business is. I'll tell you; but you must keep it to yourself, for if all them are Washington folks and Con- gress folks should come on here and go dipping into it, I'm afraid they'd cut us all out. But between you and me, it's only jest buying and selling land. Why, Jack, it's forty times more profitable than money digging, or any other business that you ever see. I knew a man here t'other day from Bangor, that made ten thousand dollars, and I guess he wau't more than an hour about it. Most all the folks here, and down to Portland and Bangor, have got their fortunes made, and now we are beginning to take hold of it up in the country. They've got a slice up in Downingville, and I missed it by being down here selling apples, or I should had a finger in the pie. Uncle Joshua Downing-you know he's an old fox, and always knows where to jump; well, he see how every- body was getting rich, so he went and bought a piece of town- ship up back of Downingville, and give his note for a thou- sand dollars for it. And then he sold it to Uncle Jacob, and took his note for two thousand dollars; and Uncle Jacob sold it to Uncle Zackary, and took his note for three thousand dol- lars ; and Uncle Zackary sold it to Uncle Jim, and took his note for four thousand dollars; and Uncle Jim sold it to Cousin Sam, and took his note for five thousand dollars; and Cousin Sam sold it to Bill Johnson, and took his note for six thousand dollars. So you see there's five of 'em, that wan't worth ninepence apiece, (except Uncle Joshua,) have now got a thousand dollars apiece clear, when their notes are paid. And Bill Johnson's',going to logging off of it, and they say he'll make more than any of 'em. Come home, Jack; come home by all means, if you want OUT OF THE SENATE. 197 to get rich. Give up your commission, and think no more about being President, or anything else, but come home and buy laud before it's all gone. Your loving cousin, EPHRAIM DOWNING. LETTER XXXVII. MAJOR DOWNING TELLS HOW MR. CLAY PUT A STOP TO THAT FUSS IN SOUTH CAROLINA, BESIDES HUSHNG UP SOME OTHER QUARRELS. WASHNGTON CITY, March 10, 1833. To Cousin Ephraim Downing, up in Downingville. DEAR COUSIN EPHRAIM :-I got your letter this morning. It was a shame for them are Legislater folks to skulk off with- out paying you for your apples. But they are the worst folks about standing to their word that I know of. They've promised me an office more than twenty times, but some how or other, come to the case in hand, their votes always went for somebody else. But I don't care a fig for 'em as long-as I've got the President on my side, for his offices are as fat again as the Legislater offices are. The President's offices will support a man pretty well if he doesn't do anything at all. As soon as Mr. Clay's tariff bill passed, the President called me into his room, and says he, "Major Downing, the nullification jig is up. There'll be no fun for you in South Carolina now, and I guess you may as well let Sargent Joel march the company back to Downingville, and wait till some- body kicks up another bobbery somewhere, and then I'll send for 'em, for they are the likeliest company I've seen since I went with my Tennessee Rangers to New Orleans. And as page: 198-199[View Page 198-199] MY THRTY YEARS foY you, Major Downing, you shall still hold your commission, and be under half pay, holding yourself in readiness to march at a moment's warning, and to fight whenever called for." So you see, Cousin Ephraim, I am pretty well to live in the world, without any of your land speculations or apple-selling Down East. I can't seem to see how 'tis -tley all make money so fast in that land business down there that you tell about. How could all our folks, and Bill Johnson, and all of 'em there in Downingville make a thousand dollars apiece, jest a trading round among themselves, when there ain't fifty dollars in money, put it all together, in the whole town. It rather puzzles me a little. As soon as I see 'em all get their thousand dollars, cash in hand, I! guess I'l give up my commission, and come home and buy some land tu. But at present I think I rather have a bird in the hand than one in the bush. Our Congress folks here cleared out about the same time that your Legislater folks did, and I and the President have been rather lonesome a few days. The old gentleman says I must n't leave him on any account; but I guess I shall start Joel and the company off for Downingville in a day or two. They've got their clothes pretty "much mended up, and they look quite tidy. I shouldn't feel ashamed to see 'em marched through any city in the United States. It isn't likely I shall have anything to do under my com- mission very soon. For some say there'll be no fighting in the country while Mr. Clay lives, if it should be a thousand years. He's got a master knack of pacifying folks and hush- ing up quarrels as you ever see. He's stopt all that fuss in South Carolina, that you know was just ready to blow the whole country sky-high. He stept up to 'em in Congress, and told 'em what sort of a bill to pass, and they passed it without hardly any jaw about it. And South Carolina has , */ -, . ' OUT OF THE SENATE. 199 hauled in her horns, and they say she'll be as- calm as a clock now. And that isn't the only quarrel Mr. Clay has stopt. Two of the Senators, Mr. Webster and Mr. Poindexter, got as mad as March hairs at each other. They called each other some pesky hard names, and looked cross enough for a week to bite a board nail off. Well, after Mr. Clay got through with South Carolina he took them in hand. He jest talked to 'em about five minutes, and they got up and went and shook hands with each other, and looked as loving as two brothers. Then Mr. Holmes got up and went to Mr. Clay, and, almost with tears in his eyes, asked him if he wouldn't be so kind as to settle a little difficulty there was between him and his con- stituents, so they might elect him to come to Congress again. And I believe some of the other Senators asked for the--same favor. So as there is likely to be peace now all round the house for some time to come, I'm in a kind of a quandary what course to steer this summer., The President talks of taking a journey Down East this summer, and he wants me to go with him, because I'm acquainted there, and can show him all about it. He has a great desire to go as fur as Downingville, and get acquainted with Uncle Joshua, who has always stuck by him in all weathers, through thick and thin. The President thinks Uncle Joshua is one of the Republi- kan pillars of New England, and says he shall always have the Post-Office as long as he lives, and his children after him. I rather guess, on the whole, I shall come on that way this summer with the President. -But wherever I go I shall re- main your loving cousin, MAJOR JACK- DOWNING. page: 200-201[View Page 200-201] O MYY THRTY YEARS LETTER XXXVIII. MAJOR DOWNING GIVES THE RESULT OF A CONSULTATION AMONG THE GOVERNMENT ON THE QUESTION WHETHER THE PRESIDENT SHOULD SHAKE HANDS WITH THE FEDERALISTS DURING HS JOURNEY DOWN EAST. WASHNGTON CITY, April 20, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariners' Church Biilding, second story, eastern end, Fore. street, away Down East, in the State of M/aine. MY DEAR OLD FRIEND :-Bein' I haint writ to you for some time, I am afraid you and our folks up in Downingville will begin to feel a little uneasy by and by, so I'l jest write you a little, if it aint but two lines, to let you know how we get on here. I and the President seem to enjoy ourselves pretty well together, though it's getting to be a little lonesome since the Congress folks went off, and Sargent Joel cleared out with my Downingville company. Poor souls, I wonder if they have got home yet. I haven't heard a word from'erm since they left here. I wish you would send up word to Sar- gent Joel to write to me and let me know how they got along. He can send his letter in your Currier, or get Uncle Joshua to frank it-either way it won't cost me anything. Now I think of it, I wish you would jest ask Cousin Nabby to ask Uncle Joshua to frank me on two or three pair of stockings, for mine have got terribly out at the heels. He can do it jest as well as not; they make nothing here of franking a bushel basket full of great books to the Western States. And they say some of the members of Congress frank their clothes home by mail to be washed. I and the President are getting ready to come on that way this summer. We shall come as far as Portland, and I expect we shall go up to Downingville, for the President says he must shake hands with Uncle Joshua before he comes back- that faithful old Republikan, who has stood by him through thick and thin, ever since he found he was going to be elected President. He will either go up to Downingville, or send for Uncle Joshua to meet him at Portland. There is some trouble among us here a little, to know how we shall get along among the Federalists when we come that way. They say the Federalists in Massachusetts want to keep the President all to themselves when he comes there. But Mr. Van Buren. says that'll never do ; he must stick to the Demokratic party; he may shake hands with a Federalist once in a while if the Demokrats don't see him, but whenever there's any Demokrats round he musn't look at a Federalist. Mr. McLane and Mr. Livingston advise him t'other way. They tell him he'd better treat the Federalists pretty civil, and shake hands with Mr. Webster as quick as he would with Un- cle Joshua Downing. And when they give this advice Mr. Lewis and Mr. Kendle hop right up as mad as March hairs, and tell him if he shakes hands with a single Federalist while he is gone, the Demokratic party will be ruined. And then the President turns to me and asks me what he had bet- ter do. And I tell him I guess he better go straight ahead, and keep a stiff upper lip, and shake hands with whoever he is a mind to. Mr. Van Buren staid with us awhile at the President's, but he's moved into a house now on Pennsylvany Avenue, He's a fine, slick man, I can tell you, and the President says he's the greatest man in America. Your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 9 page: 202-203[View Page 202-203] 208 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER XXXIX. MAJOR DOWNING DEFENDS THE PRESIDENT FROM THE ASSAULT OF LIEt- TENANT RANDOLPH, ON BOARD THE STEAMBOAT CYGNET. ON BOARD THE STEAMBOAT CYGNET, near the City of Alexandria, down a little ways below Wash- ington, May the 6th, 1833. To, the Editor of tfle Portland Courier, in the Jllari7ers' Church- Building, second story, eastern end, Fore street, away Down East, in the State of 'lMaine. MY DEAR OLD FRIEND:-We've had a kind of a hurly-burly time here to-day. Ididn't know but we should bust the biler one spell; and some of us, as it was, got scalding hot. You see, I and the President and a few more gentlemen got into the steamboat this- morning to go round into old Virginny to help lay the-foundation of a monument, so they shouldn't forget who Washington's mother was. When we got down along to Alexandria, the boat hauled up to the side-of the wharf awhile to let some more folks get in, and/ while she lay there, I and the President and a few nlore of 'etn sot;ii'the cabin reading and chatting with one another. The President had jest got through reading a letter from Uncle Jostlia Downing, urging him very strongly to come up as fur as Downingville when he comes on that way. And says he, "Major Downing, this Uncle Joshua Downing of yours is a real true blue - epublikan as I know of anywhere. I wouldl't miss seeing him wlhenl I go Down East for anything." Says I, "Your honor, Downingville is the most thorough- going Republikan town there is anywhere in the eastern OUT OF THE SENATE. 2 3 country; and you ought not to come back till you have vis- ited it." Jest as I said that, there was a stranger came into the cabin and stept along up to the President, and begun to pull off his glove. I thought there was some mischief bruing, page: 204-205[View Page 204-205] 204 MY THRTY YEARS reached out his hand to. him and smiled, and told him never to stand for the gloves, and the words wan't hardly out of his mouth when dab went one of the fellow's hands slap into the President's face. In a moment I leveled my umbrella at the villain's head, and came pesky near fetching him to the floor. Two more gentlemen then clenched him by, the collar and had him down as quick as ever you see a beef ox knocked down with an ax. In a minute a crowd was round him thick as a swarm of bees. But, njy stars, I wish you could have seen the President jest at that minute. If you ever see a lion lying down asleep and a man come along with a great club and hit him a polt with all his might, and then see that lion spring on his feet, and see the fire flash in his eyes, and hear him roar and gnash his teeth, you might guess what kind of a harrycane we had of it. The old gineral no sooner felt the fellow's paw in his face than he sprung like a steel trap, and catched his cane and went at him. But there was such a crowd of--men there in an instant, that it was as much impossible to get through 'em as it was for the British to get through his pile of cotton wool bags at New Orleans. If it hadn't been for that, I think he would have kicked the feller through the side of the steamboat in two minutes. However, somehow or other, the rascal got hussled out of the boat on to the wharf, and fled. They have sent some offi- cers after him, but where they will overtake him nobody knows. I don't know exactly what the trouble begun about, but I believe Leftenant Randolf (that was his name) got ter- rible mad with the President somehow about his commission. The President has got cleverly cooled down again, and we are going on to lay the foundation of the monument. In haste, your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. OUT UO THs S;!ENAlS. SViNX LETTER EXL. MAJOR DOWNING SHAKES HANDS FOR THE PRESIDENT AT PHT ADELPHAB WHLE ON THE GRAND TOUR DOWN EAST. PHT AnELPHA, June, 10, 1833. To Uncle Joshua Downing, Postnmaster, up in Downingville, in the State of Maine, zwith care and speed. DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :-We are coming on, full chisel. I've been trying, ever since we started, to get a chance to write a little to you ; but when we've been on the road I couldn't catch my breath hardly long enough to write my name, we kept flying so fast; and when we made any stop, there was such a jam round us there wasn't elbow room enough for a miskeeter to turn round without knocking his wings off. I'm most afraid now we shall get to Downingville before this letter does, so that we shall be likely to catch you all in the suds before you think of it. But I understand there -is a fast inMail goes on that way, and I mean to send it by that, so I'm in hopes you'll get it time enough to have the children's faces washed and their heads combed, and the gals get on their clean gowns. And if Sargent Joel could have time enough to call out my old Downingville company and get their uniforms brushed up a little, and come down the road as fur as your new barn to meet us, there's nothing that would please the President better. As for victuals, most anything won't come amiss ; we are as hungry as bears after traveling a hundred miles a day. A little fried pork and eggs, or a pot of baked beans and an Indian pudding would suit us much better than the soft stuff they give here in these great cities. page: 206-207[View Page 206-207] 206 MY THRTY YEARS The President wouldn't miss of seeing you for anything in the world, and he will go to Downingville if he has legs and arms enough left when he goes to Portland to carry him there. But, for fear that anything should happen that he shouldn't be able to come, you had better meet us in Portland, say about the 22d; and then you can go up to Downingville with us. This traveling with the President is capital fun, after all, if it wasn't so plaguy tiresome. We come into Baltimore on a railroad, and we flew over the ground like a harrycane. There isn't a horse in this country that could keep up with us, if he should go upon the clean clip. -When we got to Baltimore, the streets were filled with folks as thick as the spruce trees down in your swamp. There we found Black Hawk, a little, old, dried up Indian king. And I thought the folks looked at him and the prophet about as much as they did at me and the President. I gave the President a wink that this Indian fel- low was taking the shine off us a little ; so we concluded we wouldn't have him with us any more, but go on without him. I can't stop to tell you, in this letter, how we got along to Philadelphy, though we had a pretty easy time some of the way in the steamboats. And I can't stop to tell you of half of the fine things I have seen here. They took us up into a great hall this morning, as big as a meeting house, and then the folks begun to pour in by thousands to shake hands with the President-Federalists and all, it made no difference. There was such a stream of 'em coming in that the hall was full in a few minutes, and it was so jammed up aroand the door that they couldn't get out again if they were to die. So they had to knock-out some of the windows, and go out t'other way. The President shook hands with all his might an hour or two, 'till he got so tired he couldn't hardly stand it. I took hold and shook for him once in a while to help him along, but at last he got so tired he had to lay down on a soft bench, OUT OF THE SENATE. 20O covered with cloth, and shake as well as he could; and when he couldn't shake, head nod to 'em as they come along. And at last he got so beat out, -he couldn't only wrinkle his fore- head and wink. Then I kind of stood behind him, and reached my arm round under his, and shook for him for about half an hour a's tight as I could spring. Then we concluded it was best to adjourn for to-day. \A i/ *i* r '. A MAJOR DOWNING SEATINO HANDS FOR THE GINERAL. And I've made out to get away up into the garret in the tavern long enough to write this letter. 'We shall be off to- : morrow or next day for York; and if I can possibly get breathing time cnough there, I shall write to you again. Give my love to all the folks in Downingville, and believe me your loving neffu, i MAIJOR JACK DOWNING. , -i i'l :.' page: 208-209[View Page 208-209] 208 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER XLI.* THE PRESIDENT AND MAJOR DOWNING HAVE A VERY NARROW ESCAPE AT THE BREAKING DOWN OF THE CASTLE GARDEN BRIDGE IN NEW YORK. NEW YORK CITY, Friday Evening, June 14, 1833. To Uncle Joshia Downing, Postmaster uip in Downingville, State of Maine. DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA:--Here we are, amongst an ocean of folks, and cutting up capers as high as a cat's back. I s'pose you will see by the papers how we like to got drowned yester- * EDITORIAL NoTE.-Here we come to an important point-an era in the Downing literature, which requires special notice. It was now about three years and a half that Major Downing had been serving and enlightening his countrymen. In all that time his fame had steadily increased. His letters were copied into almost every paper all over the land, and his name was in everybody's mouth. Next to General Jackson, he was- decidedly the most popular man in the United States. Perhaps nothing is more calculated to excite a feeling of envy than great popularity. The popular man is like the child who holds a nice stick of candy in his hand; all the children around are on tiptoe to get a nibble. It is not strange, therefore, that many in dif- ferent parts of the country, endeavored to get a taste of Major Downing's popularity by attempting to imitate his writings. But one individual, at this time, made a bold and systematic rush at the Major, and attempted to strip his well-earned laurels from his brow, and en twine them around his own head. This was a respectable merchant, a heavy iron dealer in New York. Violently seized with a literary mania, he sat down and wrote a Downing letter, giving an account of the arrival of the Presidential party in New York, signed it with the Major's name, and pub- lished it in the old Daily Advertiser. As the letter of the genuine Major, giving an account of the same affair, was sent to his Uncle Joshua, through the Portland Courier, it took several days for it to make-the journey Down East and back again to New York. In I OUT OF THE SENATE. 209 day crossing the bridge between the castle and the garden t It was a pesky narrow squeak for me and the President. He was riding over on a great fine hoss, and I was walking along by the side of him, and trying to clear the way a little, for they crowded upon us so there was no getting along, and hardly a chance to breathe. When we got under the arch, we stopped a little bit for the crowd to clear away, when all at the meantime, the letter of the iron dealer made its appearance, with Major Downing's signature, and was seized upon by the greedy multitude, and passed about as the true coin. The thousands and tens of thousands who had been hurrahing for Major Downing for weeks and months, and some of them for years, of course raised their voices again as loud as ever. ( God bless me!" said the iron merchant; "why, I've electrified the world! I had no idea I was such a great writer before. I must go into this business deep who cares for trade when hecran get popularity and literary fame?" Henceforth the merchant became a man of letters, and the iron business was turned over to the other members of the firm. For months afterward he earnestly applied himself to writing Downing letters; and as he could always get them..to the New York market before the letters of the true Major, who was riding about with the "Gineral," and sending his epistles through the Portland Courier, could arrive there, the merchant thought the- run of the trade was all in his favor. And whenever the voice of public applause, in all parts of the country, pealed forth :the name of Major Down- ing, s"God bless me!" said the merchant, "Don't you hear my thunder!" Even to this day it is said, the New York iron merchant enjoys the secret satisfaction of occasionally meeting with an individual'so benighted in literary history as to look up to him with awe and admiration, regarding him as the great, the distinguished Major Downing. t EDITORALL NOTE.-The Presidential party landed at Castle Garden, the ancient, heavy old fort standing in the harbor, six or eight rods from the shore, at the southern point of the city. A bridge connected Castle Garden with the green public park, called the Battery. The Major speaks of the bridge "between the castle and the garden," by which it would seem'that he supposed the old fort was the castle, and the green Battery the garden. In the facts of the breaking down of the bridge, and the narrow escape of some of - the Presidential party, the Major is strictly accurate, as he always is on all I historical points. His remark to the President, that "'Mi Van Burea wasn' in the company," when the bridge gave way, will be explained by the fact that Mr. Van Buren joined the President's traveling party at New York. page: 210-211[View Page 210-211] 210 MY THRTY YEARS once I thought I heard something crack. Says I, "Gineral, you better go ahead, I'm afraid there's mischief bruin' here." At that he gave his hoss a lick and pushed through the crowd; but we hadn't got, more than a rod, before crash went the bridge behind us, all down in a heap, and two toll-houses on top of it, and as many as a hundred folks splashed into the water, all mixed up together, one top of t'other. The Presi, water, all mixed up together, one top of tother. The Presi- lent looked over his shoulder, and seeing I was safe behind' him, called out for Mr. Van Buren, and kased me to run and OUT OF THE SENATE. 2" see if he was hurt. I told him he had"forgot himself, for Mr. Van Buren wasn't in the company; but Mr. Woodbur'and Mr. Cass were in for it, for I could see them floundering about in the water now. "Run, Major," said the President, " run' and give them a lift. Take Mr. Woodbury first; you know I can't spare him at any rate." So there was a parcel of us took hold and went to hauling of 'em out of the water, like so many drownded rats. But we got 'em all out alive, except a few young things they called dandies; they looked so after they got wet all over that we couldn't make out whether they were alive or dead. So we laid 'em up to dry, and left 'em ; and I went on to' help the President review the troops on the Battery, as they-call it; and a grand place it is tu. -I've seen more fine shows -here, - it seems to me, than ever I see before in my life. Such a ;: sight of folks, and fine ladies, and fine houses, and vessels, : and steamboats, and flags a flying, and canons firing, and - fireworks a -whisking about, I never see lhp beat -of it. I - , didn't think there was so much fun in this world before, for ! all I've been about so much at Madawaska, and among the nullifiers, and all round. But I can't tell you much about it till we get there, for I can't find any time to write. I've only catched a few minutes this evening, while the President is -gone into Mr Niblo's gar- . den. One of the master sights that Pve seen yet was that balloon that went up this 'afternoon, carrying a man with it. All these sights keep us back a little longer than we ex- ! pected. oI don't think now we shall be in Portand before :the 28th or 29th of this month. So I thought I'd jest write you a g(ri line that you might be down there about that time. : In haste, your loving neffi, , MAJOR JA CK DOWNING.- "S page: 212-213[View Page 212-213] 212 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER XLII.* MAJOR DOWNING DESCRIBES THE VISIT OF THE PRESIDENT AT BOSTON, AND ALSO COMPLAINS OF THE RASCALLY COUNTERFEITERS THAT WRITE LETTERS IN HS NAME FOR THE NEWSPAPERS. BOSTON, Tuesday, June 25, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier. MY DEAR OLD FRIEND :-I'm keeping house with the Presi- dent to-day, and bein' he's getting considerable better, I thought I'd catch a chance when he was taking a knap, and write a little to let you know how we get along. This ere sickness of the President has been a bad pull-back to us. He hasn't been able to go out since Sunday afternoon, and I've been watchin' with him this two nights, and if I wasn't as tough as a halter, I should be half dead by this time. And if the President wan't tougher than a catamount, he'd kick the bucket before he'd been round to see one half the notions there is in Boston. Poor man, he has a hard time of it; you've no idea how much he has to go through. It's worse than being dragged through forty knot-holes. To be bamboozled about from four o'clock in the morning till midnight, rain. or shine-jammed into one great house to eat a breakfast, and into another great house to eat a dinner, and into another to eat supper, and into two or three others between meals, to eat cooliations, and to have to go out and review three or four regiments of troops, and then to be jammed into Funnel Hall two hours, and shake hands * EDITORIAL NOTE.-It will be recollected that the President, while in Bos- ton, was for a few days seriously ill. UU1 UV! flJ jiMDLaJ1i iAi 10A* with three or four thousand folks, and then to go into the State House and stand there two or three hours, and see all Boston streaming through it like a river through a saw-mill, and then to ride about the city awile in a fine painted covered wagon, with four or five horses to draw it,-and then ride awhile in one without any cover to it, finney-fined off to th'e top notch, and then get on to the horses and ride awhile a horseback, and then run into a great picture-room and see more fine pictures than you could shake a stick at in a week, and then go into some grand gentleman's house, and shake hands a half an hour with a flock of ladies, and then after sup- per go and have a little still kind of a hubbub all alone with three or four hundred particular friends, and talk an hour or two, and take another cooliation, and then go home, and about midnight get ready to go to bed, and up again at four o'clock the next morning and at it. And if this aint enough. to tucker a feller out, I don't know what is. The President wouldn't have stood it till this time, if he hadn't sent me and Mr. Van Buren to some of the parties, while he staid at home to rest The President's got so much better, I think we shall be able to start for Salem to-morrow, for we must go through with it now we've begun, as hard work as 'tis. I think we shall get to Portland about the 4th of July; so, if you get your guns and things all ready, you can kill two birds with one stone. I hope you'll be pretty careful there how you point your guns. They pointed 'em so careless at New York that a wad come within six inches of making daylight shine through the President. Now I think on't, there is the most rascally set of fellers skulking about somewhere in this part of the country that ever I heard of, and I wish you would blow 'em up. They are worse than the pickpockets. I mean them are fellers that's got to writing letters and putting my name to 'em, and send- ing of 'em to the printers. And I heard there was one sassy "X page: 214-215[View Page 214-215] 214 MY THRTY YEARS feller last Saturday, down to Newhuryport,f that got on to a horse, and rid about town calling himself Major Jack Down- ing, and all the soldiers and the folks marched up and shook hands with him, and thought it was me. Isn't it Mr. Shakes- peare that says something about "he that steals my munny- pus steals trash, but he that steals my name ought to have his head broke?"I wish you would find that story and print it. Your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER XLIII. THE PRESIDENT AND THE REST OF 'EM TURN A SHORT CORNER AT C)O CORD, AND SET THEIR FACES TOWARD WASHNGTON. CONCORD, Nu Hamsheer, June 30, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier. MY DEAR OLD FRIEND :-The jig is all up about our going to Portland and Downingville. I've battled the watch with the President this two days about it, and told him he must go there if he had the breath of life in him; and he kept telling me he certainly would, if horses could carry him there. But the President isn't very well, and that aint the worst of it; there's been a little difficulty bruin' among us, and the President's got so riled about it, that he's finally concluded to start on his way back to-morrow. I can't help it; but I feel bad enough about it to cry a barrel of tears. I don't know how they will stan' it in Downingville, when they come to get the news. I'm afraid there will be a master uproar there, for you know they are all great Demokrats. But the stage is jest agoing to start. In haste, from your friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE. 215 LETTER SLIV. COUSIN NABBY DESCRIBES THE UNUTTERABLE DISAPPOINTMENT AT DOWNINGVILLE BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT DIDN T COME, AND TELLS WHAT A TERRIBLE PUCKER ANT KEZIAH WAS IN ABOUT IT-GREAT UPROAR IN DOWNINGVILLE. DOWNINGVILLE, July 8, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier. RESPECTABLE SIR :-As Cousin Jack is always so mity budge in writing letters to you, and as he and the President showed us a most provoking trick, and run off like a stream of chalk, , back to Washington, without coming here, after they had promised over and over again that they would come, and w had got all slicked up and our clean gownds on, and more gooo victuals cooked than there ever was in all Downingville be fore-I say, Mr. Editor, I declare it's too bad; we are all ak mad as blazes about it, and I mean to write and tell you all about it, if I live; and if Cousin Jack don't like it, he may lump it ;' so there now. Ye see Cousin Jack writ to us that he and the Presidenk and some more gentlemen should be here the 4th of July, ano we must spring to it and brush up and see how smart we could look, and how many fine things we could show to the President. This was a Saturday before the 4th of July come a Thursday. The letter was to Uncle Joshua, the Post- master. Most all the folks in Downingville were at the Post- Office waiting when the mail come in, for we expected to hear from Jack. Uncle Joshua put on his spettacles and opened the mail, 4 S '$'3:i *.. ::4A page: 216-217[View Page 216-217] "1[ O - MY THRTY YEARS' and hauled out the papers and letters in a bunch. In a min- ute I see one to Uncle Joshua with the President's name on the outside ;so I knew it was from Jack, for the President al- ways puts his name on Jack's letters. We all cried out to Uncle Joshua to open, it, and let us know what was in it. But he's such a provoking odd old man, he wouldn't touch it 'till he got every one of the-papers and letters sorted and put up in their places. And then he took it and set down in his arm- chair, and took out his tobacker box and took a chaw of to- backer, and then he broke open the seal and sot and chawed and read to himself. We all stood tiptoe, with our hearts in our mouths, and he must needs read it over to himself three times, chawing his old quid, and once in a while giving us a knowing wink, before he would tell us what was in it. And he wouldn't tell us arter all, but, says he, "You must all be ready to put the best side out Thursday morning; there'll be business to attend to, such as Downingville never see before." At that we all turned and run, and such a hubbub as we were in from that time 'till Thursday morning, I guess you never see. Such a washing and scrubbing, and making new clothes and mending old ones, and baking and cooking. Every thing seemed to be in a clutter all over the neighborhood. Sargent Joel flew round like a ravin' distracted rooster. He called out his company every morning before sunrise, and marched 'em up andidown the road three hours every day. He sent to the store and got a whole new set of buttons, and had 'em sowed on to his regimental coat, and had a new piece of red put round the collar. And had his trowses washed and his boots greased, and looked as though he might take the shine off of most anything. But the greatest rumpus was at Uncle Joshua's ; for they said the President must stay there ll night. And Ant Keziah was .in such a pucker to have everything nice, I didn't know but she would fly off the handle. OUT OF THE SENATE. 21- She had every part of the house washed from garret to cel- lar, and the floors all sanded, and a bunch of green bushes put into all the fire places. And she baked three ovens-full ofi dried punkin pies, besides a few dried huckleberry pies, and cake, and a great pot of pork and beans. But the worst trouble was to fix up the bed so as to look nice; for Ant Ke: ziah declared the President---should have as good a night's lodging in her house as he had in New York or Boston. So she put on two feather beds on top the straw bed, and a bran,- new calico quilt that she made the first summer after she was married, and never put it on a bed before. And to make it H -: look as nice as the New York beds, she took her red silk gown and ripped it up and made a blanket to spread over the - top. And then she hung up some sheets all round the bed. : room, and the gals brought in a whole handful of roses and pinks, and pinned 'em up round as thick as flies in August.- After we got things pretty much fixed, Uncle Joshua start- ed off to meet Cousin Jack and the President, and left Sargent Joel to put matters to rights, and told us we must all be ready and be paraded in the road by nine o'clock Thursday morning.. Well, Thursday morning come, and we all mustered as soon as it was daylight and dressed up. The children were all washed, and had their clean aprons on and their heads combed, and' were put under the care of the schoolmarm, to be- paraded along with her scholars, About eight o'clock, all the village got together down the road as fur as Uncle Joshua's new barn ; and Sargent Joel told us how to stand, as he said, in military order. He placed Bill Johnson and Cousin Ephraim out a little ways in front, with each of 'em a great long fowling piece with a smart charge in to fire a salute, and told 'em as soon as the Presi- dent hove in sight to let drive, only to be careful and pint their guns up, so as not to hurt anybody. Then come Sargent :(ii page: 218-219[View Page 218-219] 218' MY THRTY YEARS Joel and his company; and then come the schoolmarm and the children; and then come all the women and gals over sixteen with Ant Keziah at their head; and then come all the men in- town that owned horses riding on horseback; and all the boys. that Sargent Joel didn't think was large enough to walk in the procession got up and sot on the fences along by the side of the road. There we stood 'till about nine o'clock, when, sure enough, we saw somebody come riding out of the woods down the hill. The- boys all screamed, ready to split their throats, "Hoorah for Jackson," and Bill Johnson fired off his gun. Cousin Ephraim, who aint so easily fluttered, held on to his and didn't fire, for he couldn't see anybody but Uncle Joshua on his old gray horse. Along come Uncle Joshua, on a slow trot, and we looked and looked, and couldn't see anybody coming behind him. Then they all begun to look at one another as wild as hawks, and turn all manner of colors. When Uncle Joshua got up so we could see him pretty plain, he looked as cross as a thunder-cloud. He rid up to Sargent Joel, and says he, "You may all go home about your business, for Jack and the President are half way to Washington by this time." My stars I what a time- there was -then. I never see so many folks boiling over mad before. Bill Johnson threw his gun over into the field'as much as ten rods, and hopped up and down, and struck his fists, together like all .-possessed. Sargent Joel marched back and forth across the road two or three times, growing redder and redder, till at last he drew out his sword and fetched a blow across a hemlock stump, and snapped it off like a pipe-stem. Ant Keziah fell down in a conniption fit; and it was an hour before we could bring her tu and get her into the house. And 'when she come to go round the hous'e and see the victuals she had cooked up, and 219 OUT OF THE SENATE. go into the bedroom and see her gown all cut up, she went into conniption fits again. But she's better to-day, and has gone to work to try to patch up her gown again. I thought I would jest let you know about these things, and if you are a mind to send word on to Cousin Jack and the THE DISAPPOINTMENT AND UPROAR IN DOWNINGVILLE President, I'm willing. You may tell 'em there aint five folks in Downingville that would hoorah for Jackson now, and hardly one that would vote for him, unless 'tis Uncle Joshua, and he wouldn't if he wasn't afraid of losing the Post-Office. Your respected friend, v NABBY DOWNING. page: 220-221[View Page 220-221] 220 MY THRTY YEARS DOCKYMENT. NOMNATION FOR THE PRESIDENCY. From the National Intelligencer, We do not know whether it be necessary, in copying the subjoined effusion, to enter into a protest against misinterpre- tation of our motives. We should be sorry to be understood, while humoring a jest, as meaning to burlesque so serious an action as the choice of President of the United States. We copy the following for the sake of its moral, as well as its wit, and we do not like the moral the less for being taught with a smiling countenance; From the Mauch Chunk (Pa.) Courier. OUR NEXT PRESIDENT. Many of the papers in the United States have already man- ifested a disposition to agitate the subject of the next Presi- dency, and several distinguished individuals have been infor- mally named for that office, among whom are Mr. Van Buren, Mr. M'Lean, Mr. Cass, Mr. Clay and Mr. Webster. As we are opposed to a premature discussion of this ticklish question, we have not hitherto committed ourself in favor of either of these individuals. Indeed, we have considered it very imprudent, in these times, for any one who wishes to be an orthodox pol- itician, to " come out" for anybody until he can ascertain who will be most likely to succeed. Accordingly, we have stood upon our "reserved rights " of neutrality, to watch the signs of the times, and see who would probably be the most popular candidate. Recent indications have satisfactorily convinced us on that point, and-as we wished to be considered among the-" originals "--the real Simon Pures--we would lose no time in nominating, for President, MAJOR JACK DOWN ING, O DOWNNVILLE. OUT OF THE SENATE. 221 In recommending this distinguished personage, to our fellow citizens, it will be scarcely necessary to enumerate his various claims to their suffrages. Suffice it to say, his military renown, his valuable public services in assisting President Jackson to put down the nullifiers, especially in shaking hands with the Yankees "Down East," and last, though not least, the fidelity with which he and his Uncle Joshua stuck to the old hero after he found he was going to be President, emi- nently qualify him for that exalted station. LETTER XLV. MAJOR DOWNING TELLS ABOUT GOING TO CAMBRIDGE AND MAKING THE PRESIDENT A DOCTOR OF LAWS. ON BOARD THE STEAMBOAT, Going from Providence to York, July 2, 1833. s T'o my old friend, the Editor of the Portland Courier, isn the Mari- ners' Church Building, second story, eastern end, Fore street, away Down East, in the State of Maine. MY DEAR FRIEND :-We are driving back again full chisel, as fast as we come on when we were on the railroad between Washington and Baltimore. And we've been drivin' so fast on a round turn in all the places we've been, and have had so much shaking hands, and eating and one thing another to do, that I couldn't get time to write to you at half the places where I wanted to, so I thought I'd set down now, while the Presi- dent's laid down to rest him awhile, and tell you something about Cambridge and Lowell. Ye see when we were at Bos- ton they sent word to us to come out to Cambridge, for they wanted to make the President a doctor of laws. What upon airth a doctor of laws was, or why they wanted to make the 'o bthe, atd omk page: 222-223[View Page 222-223] 222 MY THRTY YEARS President one, I couldn't think. So when we come to go up to bed I asked the Gineral about it. And says I, "Gineral, what is it they want to do to you out to Cambridge?" Says he, "They want to make a doctor of laws of me." "Well," says I, " but what good will that do?" "Why," says he, "you know, Major Downing, there's a pesky many of them are laws passed by Congress, that are rickety things. Some of 'em have very poor constitutions, and some of 'em haven't no constitution at all. So that it is necessary to have somebody there to doctor 'em up a little -and not let lem go out into the world, where they would stand a chance to catch cold and be sick, without they had good constitutions to bear it. You know," says he, "I've had to doctor the laws considerable ever since I've been at Wash- ington, although I wasn't a regular bred doctor. And I made out so well about it, that these Cambridge folks think I bet- ter be made into a regular doctor at once, and then there'll be no grumbling and disputing about my practice." Says lie, "Major, what do you think of it?"I told -him I thought it an excellent plan ; and asked him if he didn't think they would be willing, bein' I'd been round in the military business considerable for a year or two past, to make me a doctor -of war. He said he didn't know, but he thought it would be no harm to try 'em. "But," says -he, "Major, I feel a little kind of streaked about it, after all; for they say they will go to (talking to me in Latin, and although I studied it a little once, I don't know any more about it now than the man in the moon. And how I can get along in that case, I don't know." I told him my way, when anybody talked to me in a lingo that I didn't understand, was jest to say nothing, but look as knowing as any of 'em, and then they ginerally thought I knew a pesky sight more than any of 'em. At that the Gineral fetched me a slap on my shoulder, and hawi-hawed right out. OUT OF THE SENATE. 223 Says he, "Major Downing, you are the boy. for me; I don't know how I should get along in this world if it wasn't for you." So when we got ready we went right to Cambridge as bold as could be. And that are Cambridge is a real pretty-place; it seems to me I should like to live in them colleges as well as any place I've seen. We went i:.to the libry, and I guess I stared a little, for I didn't think before there was half so many books in the world. I should think there was near about enough to fill a meetin'-house. I don't believe they was ever all read, or ever will be to all ages. When we dome to go in to be-made doctors of, there was a terrible crowding around; but they, give us a' good place, and sure- enough, they did begin to talk. in Latin or some other gibberish; but whether they were talking to -the Gineral, or who 'twas, I couldn't tell. I guess the Gineral was a little puzzled. But he never said a word, only once in a while bowed a little. And I s'pose he happened sometimes to put the bows in the wrong place, for I could see some of the sassy students look up one side once in a while, and snicker out of one corner of their mouths. Howsomever, the Gineral stood it out like a hero, and got through very well. And when 'twas over, I stept up to Mr. Quibncy and asked him if he wouldn't be so good as to make me a doctor of war, and hinted to him a little about my services down to Madawaska and among the nullifiers. At that-he made me a very polite bow, and says he, "Major Downing, we should be very happy to oblige you if we could, but we never give any degrees of war here ; all our degrees are degrees of peace.'} So I find I shall have to practice war in the. natural way-let nullification or what will come. After 'twas all over, we went to Mr. Quincy's and bad a capital dinner. And, on the whole, had about as good a visit to Cambridge as most anywhere. page: 224-225[View Page 224-225] 224 MY THRTY YEARS I meant to a toldl you considerable about Lowell, but the steamboat goes so fast I shan't have time to. We went all over the factories, and there H wont try to say one word about 'em, for I've been filled with such a wonderment ever since that my ideas are all as big as hay-stacks, and if I should try to get one of 'em out of my head, it would tear it all to pieces. It beat all that ever I heard of before, and the Gineral said it beat all that ever he heard of. But what made the Gineral hold his head up, and feel more like a soldier than he had before since he was at New Orleans, was when we marched along the street by them are five thousand gals, all dressed up, and looking as pretty as a million of butterflies. The Gineral marched along as light as a boy, and seems to me I never see his eyes shine so bright afore. After we-got -along to about the middle of 'em, he whispered to me, and says he, "Major Downing, is your Cousin Nabby here among 'em? If she is, I must be introduced to her." I told him she was not; as they were expecting us to come to Downingville, she staid to home to help get ready. "Well," says he, " if any thing should happen that we can't go to Downingville, you must send for your Cousin Nabby and Uncle Joshua to come on to Washington to see me. I will bear all the ex- penses, if they will only come," says he. "These Northern gals are as much afore our Southern and Western gals as can be, and I've thought of your Cousin Nabby a great deal lately." He looked as though-he was going to say something more, but Mr. Van Buren and the rest of 'em crowded along up so near that it broke it off, and we had to go along. I see we've got most to York, and shall have to go ashore in-a few minutes, so I can't write any more now, but remain Your sincere and loving friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE, 2 b LETTER XLVIN. MAJOR DOWNING TELLS ABOUT THE QUARREL THAT HE AND MR. VA-N, BUREN HAD AT CONCORD AFTER THEY WENT UP CHAMBER TO BED; AND ALSO DECLARES HS INTENTION TO RUN FOR THE PRESIDENCY. WASHNGTON CITY, July 20, 1833. To my old friend, the Editor of the Portland Courier, a'way Down East, in the State of Maine. MY DEAR OLD FRIEND :-I don't know but you might think strange on't, that I should be back here to Washington more than a fortnight, and not write to you. But I hant forgot you. You needn't never be afraid of that. We aint very apt to forget our best friends; and you may depend upon it, Jack Downing will never forget the editor of the Portiand Courier any more than Andrew Jackson will forget Jack Downing. You was the first person that ever give me a lift into public life, and you've been a boosting me along ever since. And jest between you and me, I think I'm getting into a way now where I shall be able, by and by, to do something to pay you for it. The reason that I haven't writ to you before is, that we have had pretty serious business to attend to since we got back. But we've jest got through with it, and MAr. Van Buren has cleared out and gone- back about the quickest to New York, and I guess with a flea in his ear. Now, jest between you and me, in confidence, I'll tell you how 'tis; but, pray, don't let on about it -to anybody else for the world. Didn't you think plaguy strange what made us cut back so quick from Concord, without going to Portland, or Portsmouth, or Downingville? You know the papers have said it was be- I cause the President want very well, and the President had to 10 ; 10 ?:-;. page: 226-227[View Page 226-227] 226 MY THRTY YEARS make that excuse kimself, in some of his letters; but it was no such thing. The President could a marched on foot twenty miles a day then ; and only let him been at the head of my Downingville company, and he'd make a whole British regi. ment scamper like a flock of sheep. But you see the trouble on't was, there was some difficulty between I and Mr. Van Buren. Some how or. other, Mr. Van Bured always looked kind of jealous at me all the time after he met us at New York; and I couldn't help minding every time the folks holleored, "Hoorah for Major Downing!" he would turn as red as a blaze of fire. And wherever we stop- ped to take a bite, or to have a chat, he would always work it, if he could, somehow or other, so as to crowd in between me and the President. Well, ye see, I wouldn't mind much about it,' but would jest step round t'other side. And though I' say it myself, the folks would look- at me, let me be on which side I would ; and after they'd cried ".Hoorah for the President," they'd most always sing out, "Hoorah for Major Downing." Mr. Van Buren kept growing more and more fidgety till we got to Concord ; and there we had a room full of sturdy old Democrats of New Hampshire ; and, after they Ihad all flocked round the old President- and shook hands with him, he happened to introduce me to some of 'em before he did Mr. Van Buren. At that the fat was all in the fire. Mr. Van Buren wheeled about and marched out of the room, looking as though he could bite a board nail off. The President had to send to him three times before he could get him back into the room again. And when he did come in, he didn't speak to me for the whole evening. However, we kept it from the com- pany pretty much; Ibut when we come to go up to bed that night, we had a real quarrel. It was nothing but jaw, jaw, the whole night. Mr. Woodbury and Mr. Cass tried to pacify us all they could, but it was all in vain-we didn't one of us OUT OF THE SENATE. . 22' get a wink of sleep, and shouldn't if the night had lasted a fortnight. Mr. Van Burensaid the President had dishonored the country, by placing a military major on half pay before the second officer of the Government. The President begged him to consider that I was a very particular friend of his; that I had been a great help to him at both ends of the coun- try; that I Lad kept the British out of Madawaska, away down in Maine, and had marched my company clear from Downingville to Washington, on my way to South Carolina, to put down the nullifiers ; and he thought I was entitled to as much respect as any man in the country. This nettled Mr. Van Buren peskily. He said he thought it was a fine time of day if a raw jockey from an obscure vil- lage away Down East, jest because he had a major's commis- sion, was going to throw the Vice-President of the United States and the heads of Departments into the back-ground. At this my dander began to rise, and I stept right up to him; and says I, M"Mr. Van Buren, you are the last man that ought to call me a jockey. And if you'll go to Downingville, and stand up before my company, with Sargent Joel at their head, and call Downingville an obscure village, I'll let you use my head for a foot-ball as long as you live afterwards. For if they wouldn't blow you into ten thousand atoms, I'll never' guess again." We got so high at last that the old President hopt off the bed like a boy; for he had laid down to rest him, ! bein' it was near daylight, though he couldn't get to sleep. And says he, "Mr. Donaldson, set down and write Mr. Ander- son at Portland, and my friend Joshua Downing, at Downing- ville, that I can't come; I'm going to start for Washington this morning." "What!" says M-r. Cass, "and not go to Portsmouth, and Exeter, and-round there!" "I tell you," says the President, "I'm going to start for Washington this morning, and in three days I'll be there." "What!" says Mr. - ' -! page: 228-229[View Page 228-229] 228 MY THRTY YEARS 'Woodbury, " and not go to Portland, where they have spent so much money to get ready for us?" "I tell you," says the President, "my foot is down: I go not a step further, but turn about this morning for Washington.' "What!" says I, "and not go to Downingville : what will Uncle Joshua say?" At this the President looked a little hurt; and says he, "Ma- jor Downing, I can't help it. As for going any' further with THE QUARREL BETWEEN MAJOR DOWNING AND MR. VAN BUREN such a din as this about my ears, I cannot and will not, and I am resolved not to budge another inch." And, sure enough, the President was as good as his word, and we were all packed up by sunrise, and in three days we were in Washing- ton. And here we've been ever since, battling the watch about OUT OF THE SENATE. 229 the next Presidency. Mr. Van Buren says the President promised it to him, and now-he charges me and the President with a plot to work myself into it and leave him out. It's true I've been nominated in a good many papers: in the National Intelligencer, and in the Mauch Chunk Courier, print- ed away off among the coal-diggers- in Pennsylvany, and a good many more. And them are Pennsylvany chaps are real pealers for electing folks when they take, hold; and that's what makes Mr. Van Buren so uneasy. The President tells him as he has promised to help him, he shall do what he can for him-but if the folks wzill vote for me, he can't help it. .Mr. Van Buren wanted I should come out in the National Intelli- gencer and resign, and so be put up for Vice-President 'under him. But I told- him no; bein' it had gone so fur, IWouldn't do nothing about it. I hadn't asked for the office, and if the folks had a mind to give it to me, I wouldn't refuse it So, af- ter we had battled it about a fortnight. Mr. Van Buren found it was no use to try to dicker with me, and he's cleared out and gone to New York to see what he can;iio there. ' I never thought of getting in to be President so soon, though Pvc had a kind of hankering for it this two .years. But now, seeing it's turned out as it has, I'm determifed to make a bold push ; and if I can get in. by the, free votes of the people, I mean to.- The President says he rather I should have it than anybody else; and, if he hadn't promised Mr. Van Buren before hand,-he would use his influence for me. I remember when I was a boy, about a dozen years old, there was an old woman cometo our house to tell fortunes. And after she'd told the rest of 'em, father says he, "Here's I Jack, you haven't told his fortune yet, and I don't 'spose it's worth a telling, for he's a real mutton-headed boy., At that the old woman catched hold of my hair, and pulled -my head back and looked into my face, and I never shall forget eit w . 3 # - ' . , page: 230-231[View Page 230-231] 230 MY THR1Y YEARS ,she looked right through me as long as I live. At last, says she, and she gin me a shove that sent me almost through the side of the house, "Jack will beat the whole of you. He'll be a famous climber in his day ; and wherever he sets out to climb, you may depend upon it, he will go to the top of the ladder." Now, putting all these things together, and the nominations in the papers, and the " hoorahs for Major Down- ing," I don't know what it means, unless it means that I must be President. So, as I said afore, I'm determined to make a bold push. I've writ to Colonel Crockett to see if I can get the support of the Western States, and his ,reply is, "Go ahead." I shall depend upon you and Uncle Joshua to carry the State of Maine for me; and, in order to secure the other States, I 'spose it will be necessary to publish my life and writings. President Jackson had his life published be- fore he was elected, and when Mr. Clay was a candidate he had his'n published. I've talked with the President about it, and he says publish it by all means, and set the printer of the Portland Courier right about it. So I want you to go to work as soon as you get this, and pick up my letters, and begin to print 'em in a book; and I'll set down and write a history of my life to put into it, and send it along- as fast as I can get it done. But I want you to be very careful not to get any of them are confounded coun- terfeit letters, that the -rascally fellers have been sending to the printers, mixed in 'long with mine. It would be as bad as breaking a rotten egg in 'long with the good ones; it would spile the whole pudding. You can tell all my letters, for they were all sent to you first. The President says I must have a picter of me made and put into the book. He says he had one put into his, and Mr. Clay had one put into his. These things, you know, will all help get the free votes of the people, and that's all I want. OUT OF THE SENATE. 231 For I tell you now, right up and down, I never will take any office that doesn't come by the free votes of the people. I'm a genuine Demokratic Republikan; and always was, and so was my father before me, and Uncle Joshua besides. There's a few more things that I want to speak to you about in this letter, but I'm afraid it will get to be too lengthy. That are story that they got in the newspapers about my being married in Philadelphy is all a hoax. I ain't married yet, nor shan't be till a little blue-eyed gal that used to run about with me, and go to school and slide down hill in Downingville, is the wife of President Downing. And that are other story, that the President gave me a curnel's commission jest before we started Down East, isn't exactly true. The President did offer me one, but I thanked him, and told him if he would excuse me, I should rather not take it, for I had always noticed that majors were more apt to rise in the world than curnels. I wish you would take a little pains to send up to Downing- ville and get Uncle Joshua to call a public meeting, and have me nominated there. I'm so well known there, it would have a great effect in other places. And I want to have it particu- larly understood, and so stated in their resolutions, that-I am the genuine Demokratic Republikan candidate. I know you will put your shoulder to the wheel in this business, and do all you can for me, for you was always a friend to me, and just between you and me, when I get in to be President you may depend upon it you shall have as good an office as you want. But I see it's time for me to end this letter. The President is quite comfoitable, and sends his respects to you and Uncle Joshua. I remain your sincere friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING.' page: 232-233[View Page 232-233] 232 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER XLVII. -'COUSIN EPHRAIM DESCRIBES THE METHOD OF PUTTING "DIMOKRATS" OVER ON TO THE FEDERAL SIDE, A ND LAYS A PLAN TO GET THE DOWNINGVILLE POST-OFFICE. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, August 12, 1833. To Couosin Major Jack Downing, at Washington City. DEAR COUSIN JAC :-I've 'got something pretty heavy on my mind that I want to tell ye about, and ask your advice, and may be I shall want you to lend me a hand a little. I've been watching politics pretty snug ever since I was a little boy, and that's near about thirty years ; and I believe I know most as much about it as Uncle Joshua, although he's twenty years older than I be. Now about this Republikanism and Federalism, I've minded that it always keeps changing, and always has, ever since I can remember. And I've minded, tu, it moat always keeps going round one way; that is, the young Federalists -keep turning Dimokrats, and the old Dimokrats keep turning Federalists. What it's for I don't exactly know, but that's the way it goes. I s'pose a man, on the whole, isn't hardly fit to be a Dimokrat after he gets to be fifty years old. And here is old Uncle Joshua in the Post-Office, he's got to be about fifty, and he's hanging on to the Dimokratic side yet, like the toothache; and it begins to worry me a good deal. I think it's high time he went over. You know Downingville has always been a genuine Republikan town, and I want it should always go according to the usages (I think that's what they call it) of the Dimokratic party. When it gets to be time for an old Dimokrat to go over on OUT OF, THE SENATE. 2 :0 the Federal side, IL believe tne Argus always put's em over. You remember there was old Mr. Insley in Portland, and old Gineral Wingate in Bath, as much as a dozen years ago, were some as big Republikans as there was anywhere about. i Well, they got to be considerable old, and had been in office some time, so the Argus took and clapt 'em- right over on to' the Federal side. And you-know there was Mr. Holmes, he was a whapping great Republikan. But he begun to grow old, and so the Argus put him over. And this summer the Argus is putting of 'em over consid- erable younger on to the Federal side. It has put Judge Preble over, and Judge Ware, and Mr. Mitchell, the Postmas- ter at Portland, and he isn't near so old as Uncle Joshua; and it has put Mr' Megquier over-only think, such a young man as Mr. Megquier, that's only been in the State Sinnet three or four years. Now don't you think, according to Dimo- kratic usage, it's high time old Uncle Joshua was put over? I wish you would jest write to the Argus and have it done, for I feel a good deal worried about it. And as soon as it comes out in the Argus that he is fairly over, I want you to tell the President that Uncle Joshua is a Federalist, and have him removed from the Post-Office, for it would be an everlasting shame to have the Post-Office in Downingville kept by a Federalist. N. B.-If Uncle Joshua should be removed, I wish you . would use your influence to get the President-to give the office to me; for, next to Uncle Joshua, I s'pose I've done ' more for the Republikan party than any man in Downingville. I can have a recommendation from Sargent Joel and all the X company. By attending to this, you will much oblige 'Your friend and cousin, EPHRAIM DOWNING. 10* page: 234-235[View Page 234-235] 34 AMY THRTY YEARS ' LETTER XLVIII. IN WHCH THE PRESIDENT BEGUN TO SAY SOMETHNG ABOUT ME AND DANIEL. WASHNGTON CITY, Sept. 14, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, away Down East, in the State of Maine. MY DEAR OLD FRIEND :-It's got to be a pretty considerable long while now since I've writ to you ; for I never like to write, you know, without I have something to say. But I've got something on my mind now that keeps me all the time a thinking so much that I can't hold in any longer. So, jest between you and me, I'll tell you what 'tis. But I must begin a little ways beforehand, so you can see both sides of it, and I'll tell you what 'tis as soon as I get along to it. You see I and the President has been down to the Rip Raps a few weeks, to try to recruit up a little; for that pesky tower away Down East like to did the job for the old Gineral. So, after we got things pretty much to rights here, we jest stepped aboard the steamboat and went down to the Rip Raps. That are Rip Raps is a capital. place ; it is worth all the money we ever .paid for it, if it was for nothing else only jest to recruit up the Government. It is one of the most coolest-places in the summer time that you ever see. '-Let a feller be all worn out and wilted down as limpsy as Barag, so that the doctors would think he was jest ready to fly off the handle, and let him go down to the Rip Raps, and stay there a fortnight,: and he'd- come home again as smart as a steel OUT OF THE SENATE. 2Sl - trap. The President got recruited up so nicely, while we were down to the Rip Raps, that ever since we got back, till two or three days- ago, he has been as good-natured and sociable as ever I should wish to see a body. And now I'm coming, pretty soon, to what I was going to tell you about, that bears so heavy on my mind. You see the President likes, every morning after the break- fast is out of the way, to set down and read over the news- papers, and see what is going on in the country, and who's elected, and so on. So, when we've done breakfast, we take the letters an#papers that come from the Post-Office, and go away by ourselves into the great East Room, where we- can say jest what we've a mind to, and - nobody not hear us, and the President sets down in his great arm rocking-chair and smokes his cigar, and I set down by the table and read to him. Last Monday morning, as I was reading over the papers, one- arter another, I come to a Pennsylvany paper, \ and opened it, and says I, "Hullow, Gineral, here's a speech of Mr. Webster, at Pittsburgh, as large as life." "Ah," said he, " well, let usa hear what Daniel has been talking to them are Pennsylvany and Ohio chaps about." So, I hitched back in my chair, and. read on. And by and -by I begun to get into the marrow of the story, where he told all about nullification, and what a dark time we had of it last winter, and how the black clouds begun to rise and spread over the country, and the thunders of civil war begun to roll and rumble away off to the South, and by and by how the tempest , ' was jest ready to burst over our heads, and split the country all into shivers, and how, in the -very nick of time, the Presi- dent's- proclamation came out and spread over the whole country like a rainbow, and how everybody then took courage and said the danger was all over. While I had been readi'ng this, the President had started up on his feet, and walked : ' s , , .,1 *,ll page: 236-237[View Page 236-237] 236 MY THRTY YEARS :back and forth across the room pretty quick, puffing away and making the smoke-roll out of his mouth .like a house a fire; and by the time I had got through, he had thrown his cigar out of the window, and come and sot down, leaning his elbow on the table, and looking right in my face. I laid the paper down, and there he sot looking right at me as much as five minutes, and never said a word; but he seemed to keep a thinking as fast as a horse could run. At last, said lie, '"I J ! i' sie THE MAJOR READING THE NSEWS IN THE EAST ROOM', "Major Downing, were you ever told that you resembled Daniel Webster?" "Why, .Gineral," says I, "how do you mean-in looks or what?" "Why, perhaps a little of both," says he, " but mostly in looks." , - / OUT OF THE SENATE. 231 "Bless my stars," says I, "Gineral, you don't mean to say that I am quite so dark as he is 7? "Perhaps.,not," says he, "but you have that sharp, know- ing look, as thoughyou could see right through a millstone. I know," says he, " that Mr. Webster is rather a dark-looking man, but there isn't another man in this country that can throw so much light on a dark subject as he can." "Why, yes," says I, " he has a remarkable faculty for that ; he can see through most anything, and he can make other folks 'see through it, too. I guess,"- says I, " if he'd been born in old Virginny, he'd stood next to most anybody." "A leetle afore 'em," says the Gineral, "in my way of think- ing, "I'll tell you what 'tis, Major,-I begin to think your New Englanders ain't the worst sort of fellows in the world,' after all." "Ah, well," says I, " seeing is believing, and, you've been - down tnat way now, and can judge for yourself.: But if you had only gone as fur as Downingville, I guess you would have thought still better of erm than yotf: do now. Other folks may talk larger and bluster more," says I, , butt :when- ever you are in trouble, and want the real support in-time of /'i need, go to New'England for it, and you- never need- to be afraid but what it will come." - "I believe you are right," says the Gineral; " for,. notwith- ; standing all I could do with my proclamation against nullifi- cation, I believe I should have rubbed hard if there had been no such men in the country as Major Downing and Daniel Webster. But this nullification business isn't, killed yet. . The tops are beat down, but the roots are alive as ever, and spreading under ground wider and wider ; and one of these days, when they .begin to sprout up again, there'll be a , y tougher scrabble to keep 'em down than' there has been yet; and I've been thinking," says he, and :he laid his hand on my ' page: 238-239[View Page 238-239] 238 MY THRTY YEARS &shoulder, and- looked very anxious-"I've been thinking," says he, " if you and Daniel "- 'And here the door opened, and in come Amos Kendil with a long letter from Mr. Van Buren about the Bank, and the Safety Fund, and the Government Deposits, and I don't know what all ; and the President's brow was clouded in a minute ; for he always feels kind of pettish when they plague him about the Safety Fund. I haven't had any chance to talk with him since, there's so many of 'em round him; and I'm' as uneasy as a fish out of water, I feel so anxious to know what the President was going to say about me and Daniel. I shall watch the first chance when I think it will do to talk with him, and find out what he Iwas going to say. I can't hardly sleep a nights, I think so much about it. When I find out I'll write to you again. Send my love to the folks up in Downingville when you have a chance. I remain your sincere friend, t MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER XLIX. IN WHCH THE PRESIDENT FINISHED WHAT HE WAS GOING TO SAY ABOUT ME AND DANIEL. WASHNGTON CITY, Sept. 30, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, away Down East, in the State of Maine. MY DEAR FRIEND :-Haven't you been in a terrible kind of a pucker ever since my last letter to you, to know what the President was going to say about me and Daniel? If you haven't' I have. I never felt so uneasy for a fortnight -hardly OUT OF THE SENATE. 239 in my life. If I went to bed Icouldn't sleep, and I've got up and walked the floor as much as half the night almost every night since. I've wished the bank to Guinea more than fifty times, for there's been such a hubbub here about the bank this fortnight past, that I couldn't get a moment's chance to talk with the President about anything else. We'd have cabinet meetings once in a while to see about moving the deposits, and Mr. Duane, and Mr. Cass, and Mr. McLane would talk up to the President so about it, that he'd conclude to let 'em alone and do nothing about it, and let Congress manage it jest as they'd a mind to. And then we'd go home,- and Mr. Kendil would come in and talk the matter over, and read some .great long letters from Mr. Van Buren, and get the President so confused that he would lose all patience a'most. But Mr. Kendil is the master feller to hang on that ever I see ; he's equal to the toothache. And le talked and palav- ered with the President till he finally brought him over, and then the President put his foot down, and said the deposits should be moved, whether or no. And then the botheration was- to see who should move 'em. The President told Mr. Duane to do it; but he said his conscience wouldn't let him. Then the President -told Mr. Taney to take Mr. Duane's place, and see if his conscience would let him. Mr. Taney tried it, and found his conscience went easy enough; so Mr. Duane packed up and went home to Philadelphy. We were all dreadful sorry to lose Mr. Duane, for he was a nice man as you will see one in a thousand. It's a pity he had such- a stiff conscience ; he might have staid here in the Treasury jest as well as not, if it hadn't been for that. But this storm about the bank begins to blow over, and the President's got, in a manner, cooled down again; xThis morning, after breakfast, we took the papers and letters jest as we used to, and went away into the East Room to read page: 240-241[View Page 240-241] 240 . MY THRTY YEARS the news and chat awhile.; and it really did my heart good to see the President set down once more looking so good- natured in his great arm-chair smoking his cigar. After I had read over the news to him awhile, and got him in pretty good humor, I made bold to out with it, and says I, "Gineral, there's one question I want to ask you." And says he, " you know, Ma- jor, I always allow you to ask me anything you're a mind to ; what is it?" "Well," says I, " when we had that talk here, about a fortnight ago, you begun to say something about me and Daniel ; and jest as you got into the middle of it, Mr. Kendil come in, and broke it right off, short as a pipe-stem. It's been running in my head ever since, and I've been half crazy to know what it was you was going to say." "Well, let us see," says the Gineral, " where was it I left off? for this everlasting fuss about the bank has kept my head so full I can't seern to remember much about it." "Why," says 1, "you was talking about nullification; how the tops were beat down a little, but the roots were all running about under-groulld as live as ever, and it wouldn't be long before they'd be sprouting up again all over the country, and there'd be a tougher scrabble to keep 'em down than ever there had been yet; and then you said if I and Daniel --, and there that plaguy Kendil came in-I've no patience with him now when I think of it-and broke it right off," "Ah, now I remember," says the Gineral, "how 'twas. Well," says he, "Major Downing, it is a solemn fact, this- country is to see a blacker storm of nullification, before many years comes about, than ever it has seen yet; the clouds are beginning to gather now.; I've seen 'em rolling over South Carolina, and hanging about Georgia, and edging along into old Virginny, and I see the storm's a gathering ; it must come; and if there isn't somebody at the helm that knows how to steer pretty well, the old ship must go down. I an't OUT OF THE SENATE. 24 1, afraid," says he, " but what I can keep her up while I have the command, but I'm getting to be old, and must give up soon, and then what 'll become of her I don't know. But what I was going to say was this : I've been thinking if you and Daniel, after I give up, would put your heads together, and take charge of her till the storm has blown over, you might save her. And I don't-know who else can." "But how do you mean, Gineral?" says I. "Why, to speak plain," says he, " if nullification shows its head, Daniel must talk and you must fight. There's nothing else will do the job for it that I know of. Daniel must go into the Presiden- tial chair, and you must take command of the army, and then' things will go straight." At this I was a little struck up; and I looked him right in the eye, and says I, "Gineral, do you mean that Daniel Webster ought to be President after you give up?" "Certainly," says he, " if you want to keep the country out of the jaws of nullification." 'But," says I, "Gineral, Daniel is a Federalist, a Hartford Convention Federalist; and I should like to know which is worst, the jaws of nullification, or the jaws of Federalism?" "The jaws of a fiddlestick!" said the President, starting up and throwing his cigar out of the window as much as two rods; "but how do you know, Major Downing, -that Daniel is a Federalist?" "Because," says I, "I've heard him called so Down East more than a hundred times." "And that's jest all you know about it," says he. "Now, I -tell you how 'tis, Major Downing, Daniel is as thorough a Republican as you be, or as I be, and has been ever since my proclamation came out against nullification. As soon as that proclamation came out, Daniel came right over on to the Republican ground, and' took it upon his shoulder, and carried it through thick and thin, ,where no other man in the country could. have carried it." Says I, "Gineral, is that a fact?"And says he, "Yes, page: 242-243[View Page 242-243] 242 MY THRTY YEARS you may depend upon it, 'tis every word truth." "Well," says I, " that alters the case a little, and I'll write to Uncle Joshua and the editor of the Portland Courier, and see what they think of it; and if they think it's best to have Daniel for President we'll have him in, and I'll take my turn afterward; for, seeing the people are bent upon having me for President, I won't decline; though if it is thought best that I should wait a little while, I won't be particular about that. I'm willing to do that which will be best for the country." So I remain your loving friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER L. MAJOR DOWNING PREVENTS A ROBBERY IN THE SENATE CHAMBER. WASHNGTON CITY, Dec. 28, 1833. To the Editor of the Portland Courier, in the Mariners' C'hurch Building, second story, eastern end, Fore street, Porland, away JDown East, in the State of Maine. MY DEAR OLD FREND :--We've been in a-kind of harrycane here, and I and the Gineral has had to hold on so tight, to keep things from blowing away, that I couldn't hardly get a chance to write to you afore now, though I have wanted to twenty times. It seems as if this Congress come together determined to have a real whirlwind all winter. Mr. McDuffie raves like a mad lion; I thought when he was making a speech t'other day that he would stave his bench all to pieces, he slat things round so. And Mr. Clay is as full of mischief as he can live. Hel's been bothering us with some pesky thing or other the OUT OF THE LSENA". ac whole time since he has been here. When the Senate sent to the President for that document that he read to the Cabinet last September, about removing the deposites, I didnlt know one spell but the old Gineral would a took his cane and gone right into the Senate room, and drove 'em all out together, and told 'em to go home about their business. But I talked, to him and pacified him, and got him pretty well cooled down at last. And then says he, "Major, what would you do about it?" "Well," says I, "Gineral, supposin' the Senate should ask you to send 'em one of my letters, what would you tell 'em?" "Why," says he, "I would tell 'em that they had no business with it." "Well," says I,-"Gineral, what is the difference between one of my letters to you and one of your letters to the Cabinet?" "None at all," says he, "and I'll be hanged if they get it ;" and he sot right down and wrote to 'em and told 'em so. Well, then we sot and smoked a little while, talking about one thing or another, and at last the President broke out again about the Senate sending-to him for that document that he read to the Cabinet;. and all at once he started up and catched his hat and cane, and says he, "Major, if I don't put a veto upon them chaps, my name isn't Andrew Jackson ;" and he whisked out of doors before I had time to think. I had my shoes off, and my feet up against the jam, but I slipped 'em on as quick as I could, and out after him. But by the time I got out he was away down Pennsylvany avenu ever so far, pulling for the Congress house as fast as he could go. I pulled on after him, and overtook him jest as he was going into the Senate room. And I took hold of his arm, and says I, "Gineral, haven't I always advised you well?"And 'he stopt and looked round at me, and the rinkles begun to smooth out of his face, jest as they always do when he looks at me, and says he, "Yes, Major, I must say that." "Well," page: 244-245[View Page 244-245] 244 MY THRTY YEARS : says I, "Gineral, then my opinion is, that you better stop and think of this business a little before you go into the Senate to kick up a bobbery. There's Ir. Clay making a speech now; and if you should make a drive right in among 'em, it would be like going into a hornet's nest. The opposition, you / 7!.Ej. OLD HCKORY AT THE SENATE DOOR. know, have the majority, and they'd flock round Clay as thick as though he was the queen bee in a beehive, and they might be too many for you." Says he, " Major, I shouldn't be afraid of 'em if there was five times as many ; but I never did know OUT OF THE SENATE. 245 your advice to, prove wrong yet, so, if you think it's best, I'll stop and consider of it a little." After a while I got him to go back to the house again, and be contented with sending the letter that they shouldu't have the document. But it was a good while before I could get him entirely Calmed down, and he seemed to be considerably riled about my telling him the Senate might be too much 'for-him if he went right in among 'em. He declared if they sent to him for any more of his private papers, he'd pull the ears of some of 'em, if he didn't cut 'em off. "Why, Major," says he, "H shouldn't be afraid to meet a whole regiment of 'em." I'll write to you again pretty soon, and let you know some- thing more about matters and things here. Your faithful friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. THE GAP IN HSTORY. EDITORIAL NOTE.--Here occurs a deplorable hiatus in Major Downings "Thirty Years out of the Senate," occasioned by one of those inevitable catastrophes to which litferature, as. well as everything else connected with human labors, is sometimes exposed. In consequence of the loss of a large mass of letters- and "Doclkyments," the Major has to make a clean jump from Jackson to Polk, as is more fully explained in his own "Dockyment," on the following page. The worldmust bear the loss as well as it can. page: 246-247[View Page 246-247] 246 MY 'THRlY YEARS DOCKYMENT. In the little Postscript to my Life, that heads "My Thirty Years Out of the Senate," I said, "There'll be a kind of gap near the close of Gineral Jackson's time, and for a while after, because a lot of my letters written at that time was /Xtt MAJOR DOWNING GETTING OVER A GAP IN HSTORY. lost in a fire some years afterward, and I don't suppose I can now find the papers they was published in. But I will try to bridge over the gap as well as I can." Well, I've got to the gap- now, and must try to make a clean jump of it, from Old Hickory to Young Hickory. I OUT OF THE SENATE. 247 must bid good-by to my dear old friend, the Gineral, and put my shoulder to the wheel to help Colonel Polk along through the Mexican war. I feel bad to part with the old Gineral-a true man and a true Dimokrat as ever lived-and I am sure he feels bad to part with me. We worked hard together; we could conquer nullification, and conquer Biddle's Bank,. but we couldn't head off old Father Time, who conquers us all, sooner or later. The best friends in the world must part, so in the nature of things the time must come when Old Hickory and Major Downing must bid each other farewell. I am sorry the world has lost them letters of mine that was burnt, for they contained a good many interesting things, and described some very pleasant times that the Gineral and I had together. They told all about cutting off the "figger head" of "Old Ironsides," (the frigate Constitution,) in Boston harbor, and about me and the Gineral going a skating in a bright moon- light night away down on the Potomac, and a hundred other matters, that's lost now with the things before the flood. But ! Ant Keziah always used to say, "It's no use to cry fo'r spilt milk ;" so I hope the world will dry up its tears, and not worry any more about my lost letters than it does about that great library- that was burnt in Alexandria two' thousand years ago. The artist has gi'n me a good: lift in jumping over. From the National Intelligencer. We were thrown quite into a flutter yesterday by receiving ; in our bag from the Post-Office! the following letter from the public's old friend, Major Jack Downing, who seems to have ; written to us for the purpose of communicating to the public, in hs plain way, some views of President Polk-Young Hickory, as he delights to call him--which that distinguished functionary had not thought necessary to confide to his most' confidential friends before he met with the Major: 7 page: 248-249[View Page 248-249] 248 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER LI. PRESIDENT POLK ON HS TOUR DOWN EAST-HS INTERVIEW WIrH MAJOR DOWNING. ON BOARD THE STEAMBOAT ON .LONG ISLAND SOUND, 1 Bound to Connecticut andlDown East, June 28, 1847. J MR. GALES & SEATON- MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS :-I and Mr. Buchanan, and the rest of us, overtook the President last night at York, where we found him pretty well tuckered out, having got through with all his birds-egging in that everlasting great city, and ready to push on this morning Down East. I was going to write a line to -friend Ritchie, as he's the Government editor, as soon as I could ketch up with the President, and let him know how the old gentleman stood th-e journey. But I happened to look into your paper, and I see brother Ingersoll, of Philadelphy, sends his letters to you. This puzzled me a little at first, because I knew he was on Mr. Ritchie's side. But I looked along, and I see he called your paper a " powerful journal," and then the thought struck me that I had read somewhere that "there's a power behind the throne greater than the throne itself." Well, thinks I,- that Ingersoll is a cunning feller, but he ain't agoin' to get ahead of me. If he writes to the power behind the throne I will, too. So, if Mr. Ritchie complains, and says I ought to wrote to him, I wish you would just smooth it over to him, and tell him the reason of it, and tell him when the old ship gets on t'other tack, and his paper gets on behind, I'll write to hiwn. As I had come right on' from Mexico, the shortest cut, and ' c uV vjr and OJ&II^AI & 35 -Y had brought a letter from Ginera- Scott to the President, -as- soon as we got to York I run right up to the tavern where he stopped to give him the letter. Folks told- me he. was at the AstorHouse-that great tavern made'out of -hewed stone. So I went up and went in, and asked one of the waiters if Colonel Polk put up therei; . "Is it Jemmy Polk ye mane; Young Hickory, the Presi- dent?" "Sartin," says L , Ifi O- ,1-. THE MAJOR'S ARRIVAL AT THE ASTOR HOUSE. "Yes," says he ; " he's here, up stairs in his room./' Says I, "Show me his chamber as quick- as you can ; I: must see him." "You can't' see him to-night," says he; "Young Hilckory is tired out, and can't see nobody at all. Why wan't ye on hand in the Governor'sroom if ye wanted to- see- him? All- the- boys had a chance there." Says I, "That's nothing to the pint'; I was on th'e' road from Washington then, and I'm goin-g to see the President 1. page: 250-251[View Page 250-251] 2 50 MY THRTY YEARS. to-night if I have to go through the stone walls of this house for it."' Then along come Mr. Stutson, and says he, "Patrick, what's the row here?" "Here's a feller- getting wrathy," says Patrick, " because I won't let him go -up to the President's room." At that Mr. Stutson turned round to me, and as soon as he- see me, he ketched hold of my hand; and says he, "Major Downing, I am very happy to see you. I'll show you right up to the President's room myself. I'm sorry you wan't here before. We've had some very pleasant tea parties since the President's been here." 'When I got into the President's chamber he was laying down on the bed to rest, and looking as tired as a rat that had been drawed through forty knot-holes. But, as soon as he see me, he jumped up, looking rather wild, and says he, "Major Downing, how are ye? I didn't think of seeing you back from Mexico so soon as' this. How does things go on there-now?" Says I, "Colonel, they don't go on hardly at al. - Thdy are waiting for more help. Scott and Taylor both are growing rather red and angry to think you should chuck 'em away into the middle of Mexico there, and then not send 'em help to fight the way out again. And it seems to me, Colonel, you do hold back in this business a little too much. If you don't send 'em help pretty soon, them guerillas will eat. our little armies all up. Why Colonel," says I, " if this war had come on in the time of the old Gineral, my old friend Hickory, he would a had them Mexicans fialf whipped to death by this time. But here's a letter from Scott, to tell ye what he thinks about-the business. I come on post-haste to bring it. He says he won't stir from Puebla till you send on more men to take the place of all them that's coming home." ^ OUT OF THS, SENATE. -51. The President took the letter and read a few lines, and threw it down upon the table; and says he, "It's no use; Scott may grumble and growl as much as he's. a mind to, but it's no use. This war is a concern of my own getting up- for my own use; and I shall manage it jest as I please." Says he, "Major Downing, there's reason in all things.: -I don't want them Mexicans whipped too fast, especially when them upstart generals get all the glory of it. When I found that Taylor was swellin' up too large, I meant to a stopped him at Monterey, and draw off a part of his glory on to Scott. But that Taylor is a headstrong chap-a dangerous man. He overstept his duty, and blundered on to that victory at Buena Vista, that sot everything in a blaze. I shan't over- look it in him very soon. If the selfish creature had only let Santa Anna given him a handsome licking there, we might a had peace in a little while, for I had things all arranged with; Santa Anna to wind the'business right up in such a way that we might each of us have made a handsome plum out of it. But that unpardonable Taylor must cut and slash round with his handful of men, untutored volunteers, that I thought were as harmless as a flock of sheep, and contrive, by that awful blunder at Buena Vista, to pour all the fat into the fire. "Well, then, Scott hasn't behaved much better. He's licked the Mexicans too fast by a great sight, and is swellin' him- self up in the eyes of the people shamefully. I thought if I could a sent Colonel Benton on there, he would a squeezed the glory out of both of 'em in a little while, and settled 'em down so. they wouldn't a been dangerous. But that vagabond Senate wouldn't let me do it. That Was too bad, Major when them two generals were attracting all the glory-that belonged to me, that the Senate wouldn't let me do anything to offset them. But I'l let 'em know that Young Hickory isn't to be beat any more than Old Hickory was. I've sent '5F : page: 252-253[View Page 252-253] 252 MY THRTY YEARS, Mr. Trist on to look after matters, and to see that the armies don't go too fast; for I'm determined Scott and Taylor shan't whip the Mexicans any faster than is prudent. All the glory of this war fairly belongs to me, and I'll have it." "But," says I, "Colon'el, you are agoing to send on more men, an't you? Or what are you going to do? How are you going to wind the business up?" Says he, "I'm too tired to talk over my plans to-night. But there's no need of your'going right back to Mexico yet. Mr. Trist is there, and I can trust him to look after matters, and you had better jump into the boat with us in the morning and take a trip Down East, and we can talk on the way." About five o'clock in the morning the President rattled ,away at my door, and waked me out of a sound sleep ; and when he found I wasn't up, says he, "Major, you must be spry, or you'll be too late, for we're off at six." I was up and dressed about the quickest, and went out, and fact, there was a quarter of a mile of soldiers all ready to escort us to the tloat. And down we went, through whole streets full of men and women, and boys and gals, of all sorts and sizes, some running and crowding, and some hollering and hurrahing, and in a few minutes we were aboard the Steamboat, and the bell rung, and the steamer puffed, and off we went on the Sound toward Connecticut. The President had a little room all to himself, and he made me go right into it with him, and he sat down in- an easy chair, and put his feet upon another, and says he, "Major, I'm glad to get out of the crowd again; we'll take a few hours of rest and comfort on this voyage. This being Presi- dent, Major, is mighty hard work; but, after all, I like- it. I've had a glorious time of it in New York. Everybody was running after me, and it seems as though I had seen every- thing. I feel as though I had lived through- a whole year in : . ,. OUT OF THE SENATE. 253 these -three days ; and I don't believe anybody ever received more honors in so short a space of time in this country."' "Well," says I, "Colonel, it seems to me a pity you told the folks at Baltimore, the other day, that you should retire when this term was up. You might go two terms, as-Old Hickory did, jest as well as not, you are so popular." At that he gave me a tuck in the ribs and a sly wink, and says he, "Major, don't you understand that? Telling of 'em I shouldn't stand another term is jest the way to make 'em the more fierce to have me. Don't you know Anthony said Caesar refused the crown three times, jest so as to be more sure of having it placed on his head. And just see how Santa Anna is working it now in Mexico. When he gets pretty near run down, and shivering in the wind, and nothing to stand upon, he sends in his resignation, with a long patri- otic speech about shedding the last drop of blood for his. country, and all that, and the people refuse to receive his resignation, and cry out, 'Long live Santa Anna I and away he goes again, and drums up another army of soldiers. "But, to tell the truth, Major," says he, "when I made that, remark at Baltimore, I had some little notion of retiring. Our party was so cut up, things -looked rather dark ahead, and- I find this Mexican war something of a bother after all. Tay- lor and Scott commit so many blunders, I had really then some notion of retiring when this term is up. But, since I 'got along to New York, things seem to look brighter. I'm pop- ular, Major, I know I am. I shouldn't be surprised if the Whigs made a demonstration in my favor yet. They seemed very fond of me in New York; and so did everybody-every- body you could mention ; even the market-women took me by the hand and called me Young Hickory, and gave me lotslof fruit. There, do you see that pineapple:on the table, there?, says he. "That was given to me at the Fulton Marketi, La r., /.' page: 254-255[View Page 254-255] 254 MY THRTY YEARS we were going over to Brooklyn on Saturday.* Cut away, Major, and help yourself to it; it's a nice one. And here's a paper of most excellent tobacco," says he, " that was present- ed to- me at the same time. You go into the pineapple and PIll go into the tobacco, and then we'll have a little more talk about the war.'/ Jest as we got cleverly under way, they sung out aboard the boat for the passengers to get ready for landing. So I must cut my yarn off here for the present; but likely as not you'll hear from me again. Your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. DOCKYMENT. From the -National Intelligencer. It was with real satisfaction that we recognized again, yes- terday, among our letters from the Post-Office, the handwrit- ing of our friend, Major Jack Downing. His personal asso- ciations, as our readers know, have always been with those who have made it a mortal 'offense in us-even to the extent of denouncing it as moral treason-that we have not always approved, of their principles or their measures ; but, somehow or other, our feelings have always yearned to the Major. There is such a transparent honesty in all his thoughts, and i such a kindness of heart perceptible in all his motions, that we would rathor at any time receive even a rebuke from him * EDITORIAL NoTE.-This is no embellishment of the Majors, but a literal fact. When the procession was moving down Fulton street, to go to -Brook- lyn- a market-woman presented the President a pineapple, and another per- son a paper of choice tobacco.. OUT OF THE SENATE. 255 than the praise of some folks.- If it be a pleasure to us, as it is, to be able to differ from public men, to canvass their mens- ures, and even to censure them where -censure is deserved, without cherishing anything like personal malice: toward them, the reader may imagine what value we place upon the correspondence of a true-hearted man like Major Downing, wlio has not suffered his friendship for us to be sundered, or even shaken, by the many differences of, opinion about' men and measures that have grown up between us for the last dozen orfifteen years. We are right glad to understand, from what he says at the close of the following letter, that -it is not the last we may ex- pect from the Major : LETTER LII. PRESIDENT POLK AND MAJOR DOWNING IN THE STATE OF MAINE, DOWNINGVILLE, in the State of Maine, July-6, 1847. MR. GALES & SEATON- MY DEIAR OLD FRIENDS : --My letter to you on board the steam- boat on Long Island Sound, was cut off so short by the belPs ringing for us to get ready to go ashore, that I didn't get half through telling you the talk I had with -the President that day ; and we've had somuch talk since, and seen so much on the journey, that I shau't be able to tell you one-half; nor a quarter on't, in a letter. It would take a whole book to give you a good notion of the whole Story. But the President will be back to Washington before you can -get this letter, for::he ' started to go back last Saturday; so you can get the whole account of the journey from him, He'll be delighted to. set down and tell you all about it; for he's been amazingly pleased with the whole journey, fromnitop to bottom. He -s ,;' page: 256-257[View Page 256-257] 256 MY THRTY YEARS been on his:high-heeled, boots all the way. Instead of growin' more stoopin, by bowing so much, it- seems as if he stood straighter than ever. He told the Governor, in his speech at Augusta, Saturday: "It seldom happens that the course of any man's life is marked, by so distinguished a reception as has been accorded to me to-day." Well, so it has been all the way along ; hurrahing, and complimenting, and firing, and speech- es, and dinners, and suppers, and shaking hands., On board the steamboat, from Portland to Augusta, we got a little breathing time, and had a good long talk. Says the President to me "Now, Major," says he," I want V you to be candid. No one is a true friend to one in a high station unless he will be candid and speak the truth. And now, Major, I don't want you to flatter me ; I want you to be candid, and tell me jest what you think. You went along with President Jackson:when he made his tour Down East, and:hasd a chance to seethe whole operation ; and now I want you to tell me-candidly, if you think the people was any more fobd of him than they are of me." -"Well, now, Colonel," says I, "not wishing to hurt your feelins at all, but seein' you've -asked my candid -opinion, I won't deny but what the people are very fond of you, amaz-- ingly fond, perhaps as fond ,as they- can be. But,; after all, these-times: ain't exactly equal to Old Hickory!s times." -'!"But what do you mean?" says he., L Well," says, -" the people all seem to be amazing fond, but somehow it seems to have a sort of-mother-in-law show about it; it don't seem to .be so real hearty as they, showed to Old Hickory." . "Well, now,Major,? says he, and he, reddened a little when -he said this ; says he, "that only shows how strong your plre judices set in favor of the old Gineral. But, I thought .you was a man of a stronger mind and sounder judgment. Ican't K , . OUT OF THE SENATE. 257- agree with you against the evidence of my own senses. Did you notice all the way along how thick the crowds flocked around me to shake hands with me?" "Yes," says I; " but they didn't go it with such a rush as they did When my old friend, the Gineral, come this- way. They jammed around him so that they had to climb over each' other's heads to get at him. And I had to -take hold some- times by the hour together and help him shake hands, or he never would have got through with one-half of 'em.". "Well, then," says he, "did you mind how -loud they cheered and hurrahed wherever, we come along i" "Yes, Colonel," says I;"I heard all that; but, my gra- cious I wherever Old Hickory made his appearance, the crowd roared right out like thunder." . "Well, Major," says he, " they couldn't beat them cheers, that the Democrats and Captain Rynders give me at Tam- many Hall, I know ; thunder itself couldn't beat that. :Itlsno use, Major, for you to argue the pint; no President ever re;, ceived such marks of honor from the people before-I am sure of that; I mean the whole people, Federalists as well as Dem- ocrats-that is, if there -is any such people as Federalists now days, and Mr. Ritchie says there is. Only think, the old Fed- eral State of Massachusetts did the business up as handsome- and seemed to be as fond of me as Governor Hill's State:; I couldn't'see any difference. You must confess, Major, that even your old friend Hickory didn't receive so much honor in Massachusetts as H have."? Well, now," says I, "Colonel, I don't want to - hurt your feelings, but you are just as much mistaken as you was whle a you sent old Rough and Ready into Mexico. H- ave you forgot / how they took the old Gineral into Cambridge College: and made a- doctor of him?" "Who cares for that?1 says the Colonel; says ho, turning "* ^ ^ " ' '* . ' ,X, page: 258-259[View Page 258-259] 258 MY THUIKrY YEARS up his-nose, "Didn't the Democrats and Captain Rynders take me into Tammany Hall, and make a Tammany of me?* No, no, Major Downing, it's no use for you to argue the pint against my popularity, for I've got eyes, and I can see; and I tell you, and I want you to mark my words, I tell you I'm more popular with the whole -people than ever old Hickory was in all his life. He was very popular with the Democrat- ic party, but I am fully persuaded he hadn't such a hold upon the affections of the whole people as I have." Here the President got up and walked about the floor, and seemed in a deep study. At last says he: -"Major, I missed a figger in my speech at Baltimore t'other day; and I don't know exactly how to get over it." "How so?" says I. "Why," says he, "I ought not to have said, right up and down, pint blank, that I should retire when this term is up. I should only talked about my desire to retire to private life. I was too hasty, and committed myself too soon. There nev- er was a better chance for anybody to be elected than there is for me now, if I hadn't made that unfortunate remark. Jack- son stood twice, and Jefferson stood twice, and I suppose it is really my duty to serve my country as long as they did. But if I should undertake to run agin, I 8'pose they would be throwing that Baltimore speech in my teeth." "Well, now," says I, "Colonel, can't you see your way out of that? You wasn't born Down East so fur as I was. It's no great of a job to get over that trouble-." At that the President brightened up a good deal, and fsays he, "Well, Major, I'll tell you what 'tis, if you'll get me over that difficulty handsomely, when we come to have another * EDrroRIAL NoTE.--While in New York, President Polk was initiated into the Order of St. Tammany. OUT OF THE SENATE. 259 shuffle for the offices, you may choose any card in the pack, and you shall have it." "Well, says I, "Colonel, about that remark of yourn at Baltimore,-that you should give up when this term is out, all you've got to do is to get Mr. Ritchie to take it back in the Union; let him declare that it was only a sort of speculation, hastily thrown out, without much consideration, and that, so far as he understands, neither the President nor any of his Cabinet entertains any such views. Then you can go along just as smooth and safe as if nothing had happened." "Fact, that's it," says the Colonel, snapping his fingers; "strange I didn't think of that before. Major, you do beat all for working out of difficulties I I believe I'll make up my mind to go ahead another term; I don't see anything in the" way. I'll tell you how I think of working it. Ive been reading over this letter of Taylor's to the Cincinnati Signal. He's an old head, but he an't agoing to come another Bona Vista blunder over me. If I don't- take the wind out of his sails before long, I'll engage to make him King of Mexico.- And I'll try him on his own tack, too. I'll come out and de- clare that I won't be the candidate of no party neither, and throw myself upon the people. I'm convinced, from what I've seen on-this journey, that the Whigs will go for me almost to a mah. Van-Buren and Wright, who say I'm not the man for the Northern Democrats, may go to grass. I go for the people, the whole people, and nothing but the people." "Well," says I, "Colonel, that's the road ; and I wish you a pleasant-and prosperous journey." We had some more talk about the- war before we. reached Augusta, but I haven't got time to explain to you the Presi- dent's views about it in this letter. .He says he- means to keep a tight rein over Taylor, sand not let him do much ; and when he does do anything, make him report it to the Goverm- page: 260-261[View Page 260-261] 260 MY THRTY YEARS ment, through Scott. I asked him if he wasn't afraid of making too tall a man out of Scott by placing him on Taylor's shoulders; and he said no-he should look out for that; and if he see any danger of it, he should make Scott report to the Government through Mr. Trist. After we visited Augusta, and Hallowell, and Gardiner, I tried to get the President to go out to Downingville, but he -said he didn't think it would do for him to stop any longer this time, though there was no place in the. country tfiat he was more anxious to see-; and he promised, the first leisure time he could get, to make a flying visit there.., I asked him if he didn't think it would do for me to go out and stop a day or two, as I hadn't seen 'Uncle Joshua, or Ant Keziah, or any of 'em there for a long time. He said certainly, by all means, and he would hurry back to Washington and have things all cut and- dried by the time. I got back along, so that we could make up our minds at once what is best to be done, in order to keep Scott and Taylor in, the traces, and curb 'em in, Your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LIII. MAJOR DOWNING, ON THE ROAD TO THE WAR, SITS DOWN BY THE ROAD- SIDE AND WRITES TO THE EDITORS OF THE NATIONAL INTELLIGENCER AN ACCOUNT OF HS INTERVIEW WITH PRESIDENT POLK AND OLD MR. RITCHE, EDITOR, OF THE GOVERNMENT ORGAN. ON THE ROAD TO THE WAR, August--, 1847. MR. OALES & SEATON-- MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS :-I s'pose you'll be amaZinly disa- pinted to find I'm away off here, pushin' on to the seat of war, and didn't call to see you when I come through Washington. OUT OF THE SENATE. 261- But you musn't blame me for it, for I couldn't help it; the/ President wouldn't let me call; he said I was getting quite too thick with you, writing letters to you and all that, .And. when he spoke about the letters, he looked a- kind of red and 'i v. ON THE ROAD TO THE -WAR. showed considerable spunk. But now I am away off here where the President won't see me, so I'Il set right down by ' the side of the road and write you a good long letter:; e'T he:-' President was a little touched at first, when I see him.' 3 Says he, "Major Downing, I have put a good deal of confi-: ; . page: 262-263[View Page 262-263] 262 MY T HRTY YEARS. dence in you as a friend of my Administration ; and if you are -a friend to it, you must let Gales and Seaton alone ; keep out of their way, and have nothing to do with them ; they are dangerous, mischief-making fellers, eternally peckin' at my Administration, all weathers. Let me try to keep things ever so snug, and lay my-plans ever so deep, they are sure to dig them all up, lug them into the Intelligencer, and blaze rem all over the country. Confound their picturs, they are the most troublesome customers an Administration ever had; they've come pretty near swamping me two or three times. So, if you are my friend, I warn you not to be so thick with Gales and Seaton." "Well," says I, "Colonel, you know I am a friend to you and your Administration, as much as I ever was to the old Gine- ral and his Administration ; and I shall stand by you and do everything I can to help you out of this scrape you've got into about the war. But I don't know as -that need to make me break wtth Gales and Seaton,. We've been old friends so long, it would be kind of hard for me to give 'em up now; and I don't -hardly think they are quite so bad as you think for. They may-not mean to do you so much hurt when they put these things into their paper, and only put them in be- cause they think folks want to know what's goin' on. Mr. Ritchie sometimes puts things into his paper -that folks think don't do you no good." The President give two or three hard chaws upon his cud of tobacco, and says he: "Yes, Major, that's too true, it must be confessed; and it annoys me- beyond all patience. But then I have to forgive it, and overlook it, because Mr. Ritchie -don't mean it. The old gentleman is always srry for it, and always willing to take it back. And then he's!such a tuff old "feller to fight the Federalists, I can't have a heart to scold at , "i-him much about his mistakes and blunders,.' OUT OF THE SENATE. 263; "' Well," says I, "Colonel, being you've named Federalists, I want to know if any of them animals is really supposed to be alive anywhere in the country, now-a-days. Seeing sich awful accounts about 'em in the Union paper all the time, I in- quired all the way along through New England, where they used to be the thickest, and I couldn't get track of one; and when I asked the folks if there was any Federalists anywhere in them quarters, they all stared at me, and said they didn't know what sort of critters they was. When I got to Down- ingville, I asked Uncle Joshua about it. He said, in his young- er days there used to be considerable many of 'em about, but they wasn't thought to be dangerous, for they never Was much given to fighting. But he said he guessed they'd all died out long ago, for he hadn't come across one these twenty years. So now, Colonel," says I, "how is it they are so thick in Mr. Ritchie's paper all the time?" At that he give me a -very knowing kind of a look, and lowered his voice down almost to a whisper ; and says he, "Major, Pll tell you how that is. When Mr. Ritchie was a young man, he used to fight a good deal with the Federalists, and took a good deal of pride in it; and now the fancies, and scenes of his youth all seem to come back fresh to his mind, and he can't think or talk about anything else. You know that's oftentimes the way with old people. As he always used to have the name of a smart fighter, I give him the command of the newspaper battery here to defend my Administration, But 'twas as great a mistake as 'twas when -I sent Taylor into Mexico; I didn't know my man, No matter what forces- was gathering- to overthrow my Administration, Mr, Ritchie some- how didnrt seem to see 'em ; no matter how hard they fired at , me, he didn't seem: to hear it; and when I called to: him to fire back, he'would rouse up and touch off a few squibs with about as good aim as the boys take when they fire crackers X i , y page: 264-265[View Page 264-265] 264 MY THRTY YEARS on the 4th of July, and did about as much execution. At last I found out a way that I could make the old veteran fight like a Turk, and hold on like a bull-dog. It was by giving him a notion at any time that he was fighting with Federalists. Since I made that discovery, he's been more help to me. Whenever I see the enemy intrenching himself around me, and bringing up his batteries to fire into my Administration, all I have to do is to whisper in Mr. Ritchie's ear'and say, 'Mr. Ritchie, the air smells of Federalism; you may depend upon it there is Federalists abroad somewhere.' In a minute, you've no idea with what fury the old gentleman flies round, and mounts his heaviest guns, and sets his paper battery in a roar. His shots fly right and left, and sometimes knock down friends as wellas foes. To be sure, they don't make a very great impression upon the enemy-; but then there's this ad- vantage in it: if he don't kill or beat off the enemy, he keeps the Administration so perfectly covered up with smoke that the enemy can't, see-.half the time where to fire at us. On the whole, Mr. Ritchie is a valuable man to my. Administra- tion, notwithstanding all his mistakes and blunders." Jest then the door opened, and& who should coime in but Mr. Ritchie himself.- As he opened the door be ketched the sound of the two last words the President was saying. "Mistakes and blunders 1" says Mr. Ritchie; says he, "What, have you got something more of Scott and Taylor's blundering in Mexico?" "Nothing more, to-day," says the President; "I was. only telling-Major Downing how their blunders there have come pretty near ruining the country, and how it is absolutely ne- cessary to get the staff out of their hands, somehow or other, before they quite finish the job. I'm going, now, to try one more plan, Mr. Ritchie; but be careful that you don't say anything about it in the Union and blow it all up. I tried /. [I' OUT OF THE SENATE. 265 once to send Colonel Benton on for the same purpose, and Czngress blowed that up. Then I sent Trist on for the same purpose, and Scott has blown him up. Now., I'm agoing to send Major Downing, not as a regular open ambassador, but asa sort of watoh upon them, you know, to work round and do the business 'up before anybody knows it. He isn't to go to Sbott nor Taylor, nor have anything to do with 'em, but work his way into Mexico, and go right to Santa Anna and knock up a ,/ ' what it will." ' ; - An excellent idea," says Mr. Ritchie " an excellent plan, sir. I'm for peace at all hazards 47:it is to'befound anywh' e in Mexico-that is, if we can get hold of it bef6re Scott Ot3. Taylor does. And I think Major Downing is just the man i for i181 * page: 266-267[View Page 266-267] 2 6 MY THRTY YEARS it-a true, stanch Democratic Republilkan; and whatever he does will go for the benefit of the Administration. Now the country's shins are aching pretty bad with the war, if we can fix up a good smooth peace right off, and not let Scott nor Taylor -have any hand in it, who knows, Mr. President, but it might make our Administration so popular that you and I might both be elected to serve another four years? But when is the Major to start?" "Right off, to-night," says the President, " or rather, in the morning, before daylight--before anybody in Washington finds out that he has got back from Downingville. I have forbid his calling at the Intelligencer' office, and I don't want they should find out or mistrust that he's been here. If they should get wind of the movement, they would be sure to throw some constitutional difficulty in the way, and try to make a bad botch of the business.' The President:shet-me into his room and charged me not to leave. the house, while he sent for Mr. Buchanan and Mr. Marcy to fix up my private instructions. While he was gone Mr. Ritchie fixed me up a nice little bundle of private instruc- tions, too, on :his own hook, moddled, he said, on the Virginia Resolutiohs of '98. Presently the President came back with my budget all ready, and give me my instructions, and filled 'my pockets with rations, and told me how to draw whenever I wanted money ; and before daylight I was off a good piece on the road to the war. To-day I met a man going on to carry letters to the Gov- ernment from Gineral Scott's side of the war, and I made him stop a little while to take this letter to you; for I was afraid you might begin to think I was dead. He says Scott is quite wrathy about the Trist - business, and wants to push right on and take the city of Mexico, but Mr. Trist is disposed to wait and see if he can't make a bargain with Santa Anna's men. OUT OF THE SENATE. 267 I shall push along as fast as I can, and get into the city of Mexico, if possible, before Scott does ; and if I only once get hold of Santa Anna, I have no doubt I shall make a trade. I don't know yet whether I shall take Scott's. road or Tay- lor's road to go to the city of Mexico ; it will depend a little: upon the news I get on the way. Two or three times, when'I have been stopping to rest, I have been -looking over my pri- vate instructions. They are fust rate, especially Mr. Ritchie's. I remain your old friend, and the President's private Em- basseder, - MAJOR JACK DOWNING. DOCKYMENT. A day or two after the foregoing letter was published in the Intelligencer, the following belligerent editorial appeared in the Government organ, the Washington Union, then edited by the veteran and venerable Thomas Ritchie : "JAcK DOWNING .-We enjoy wit, and have no objection to waggery. 1We can excuse it, even when the joke is made at our own expense. But then we have a right to ask if the witI be 'good,' and the waggery ' genuine?' "To this issue we are brought by- a letter in Wednesday's National Intelligencer, headed, ' Another Letter from Major Downing,' and signed ostensibly by ' Major Jack- Downing.' The question with us is, is this the -veritable Major Jack Downing? or is it some inferior wag, some ' counterfeit'pre- sentment,' who assumes the mask .and name of the true Jack Downing, and passes off his spurious coin for.- the solid-bul- lion of that original -wit and wag, Jack Downing? It is not because' its writer makes fun of us that we raise the question. It is not because he jeers at our blunders, or our Republican : principles-of yore, that we doubt his identity. To some-blu - page: 268-269[View Page 268-269] 268 MY THRTY YEARS ders we cannot but plead guilty, though they have been ex- cessively magnified by the scribblers of the day, and though they are generally, by some extraordinary cross purposes, more the work of others than of our own. Of the firmness of our opinions, indorsed, as they have been, by the principles of Jefferson and the 'resolutions' of Madison, we have no reason to be ashamed. But if there was, any very extraordinary humor in the letters of this fictitious ' Jack Downing'--if there was any of the wit and naivete of the original Jack Downing-the worthy C,. A. D., of New York, the one who universally passes as the author of the Downing Letters-we should give him the credit he deserves. It is not because we happen to be the subject of his last letter that we protest against his pretensions ; but because we happen to know that the present Jack Downing, who has written three letters in a mask for the National Intelligencer, is not the Simon Pure, but a-counterfeit presentment-in other words, something of the literary ' jackdaw in the peacock's plumes. And we fear that our friends of the National Intelligencer knew that they were palming off this amusing trick upon their readers when they hailed, with such cordial acclamation, the receipt of the two first letters of' Ja-ck Downing,' and when they introduced the letter of Wednesday as 'Another Letter from Jack Down- ing'" We undertake to say positively that these letters in the Intelligencer are something of humbugs; that they are hot written by the original Jack Downing,;of New York; that he has not employed that signature since the days of Old Hickory; and that -he would be the last-man to satirize the -President or his administration. Therefore, we strip the mask off from the counterfeit, and repeat the motto of the In- telligencer-' Ridentem, dicere verum quid vetal?' dAWe seize the same opportunity to say that we, too, may have done unconscious injustice to Jack Downing himself when, mistaking one person for another of similar name, we asked whether any of the blood of Jack Downing could flow in the veins of the author of the letters of the ' Genevese Traveler,' in the London Times. The very question was cal- culated to mislead our readers, as we find upon better infor- mation ; but we correct our blunder, at -the hazard of pro- voking the laughter even of this mock Jack Downing." LETTER LIV. As soon as Major Downing received the Union containing- the editorial outhurst of Mr. Ritchie, he replied to the veteran politician, through the Intelligencer, in 'the following concili- atory and soothing terms: ------, September, 1847. To Mr. Ritchie, Editor of the Government Organ, Washington. MY DEAR OD FRIEND :-I've jest got the Union, containing the broadside you fired at me, and I'm amazingly:struck up, and my feelins is badly hurt, to see that you've got so bewil- dered that you seemingly don't know me. It's a melancholy sign when old folks get so bewildered that they mistake their oldest and best friends, one for t'other. Why, your head is turned right round. How could you say that I was "' a ficti- tious Major Jack Downing?" and that my last letter to you was a "trashy forgery?" and that you would " strip the l mask from me?"I feel bad now about writing my last letter to you, for- t'm afraid -you took it too hard. I beg of you now, my dear friend, to let all drop right where 'tis; leave Mr. Burke to do the burkin' and the fightin', and you go right. out into the country and put yourself under thei " cold-water cure" somewhere, and see if your head won't come right again.:- I "fictitious," and you goingg to " strip the mask from me I " * .: page: 270-271[View Page 270-271] 2tQ MY THRTY YEARS Why, mye dear friend, if you could only be up here five minutes, and jest lift the mask off of my face one minute, you'd know me jest as easy as -the little boy knew his daddy. Your head. coldn't be so turned but what you'd know me ; for you'd see then the very same old friend that stood by you and Gineral Jackson fifteen, sixteen, and eighteen years ago ; the same old friend that coaxed up Gineral Jackson, and made him forgive you for calling him such hard names before he was elected. It's very ungrateful for you to forget me now--- that is, if you was in your right mind. For I'm the same old friend, the same Jack Downing that was born and brought up in Downingville, away Down East, in the State of Maine, and that drove down -to Portland in Jinherwary, 1830, with a load of ax-handles and bean-poles, and found the Legislater in a dread- ful snarl, all tied and tangled, and see-sawin' up and down a whole fortnight, and couldn't choose their officers. I found my ax-handles and bean-poles wouldn't sell, so I took to poly- tix, and went to writin' letters. The Legislater fout and fout all winter; but I kept writin', and at last I got 'em straitened out. I kept on writin' for a whole year, and got the polytix of Maine pretty well settled. Then I see Gineral Jackson was getting into trouble, and I footed it on to Washington to give him a lift. And you know I always stuck by him after- ward as long as he lived. I helped him fight the battles with Biddle's monster bank till we killed it off. I helped him put down nullification, and showed exactly how it would work if it got the upper hand, in my letter about carrying the raft of logs across- Sebago Pond, when Bill Johnson got mad and swore he'd have his log all to himself, and so he cut the lashings and paddled ot on his log alone ; and then his log begun to roll, and he couldn't keep it steady, and he got ducked head over heels half a dozen times, and come pesky near being drowned. And that wasn't all I did to keep off nullification and help put OUT OF THE SENATE. 271' it down., I brought on my old company of Downingville malitia to Washington, under the command of Cousin Sargent Joel, and kept 'em there, with their guns all loaded, till the danger was over. And I used to go up top of the Congress House every day, and keep watch, and listen off toward South Carolina, so as to be ready, the first moment nullification bust up there, to order Sargent Joel to march and fire. The Gineral always said the spunk I showed was what cowed nullification down so quick, and he always felt very grateful to me for it. Well, I stuck by the Gineral all weathers ; and I kept writ- in' letters from Washington to my old friend, the editor of the Portland Courier, and kept old Hickory's popularity alive among the people, and didn't let nobody meddle with his Ad- ministration to hurt it. Well, then, you know, the Gineral, in the summer of 1832, started off on his grand tower Down East, and I went with him. You remember, when we got to Philadelphy, the people swarmed round him so thick they al- most smothered him to death; and the Ginreral Sot so tired shakin' hands that he couldn't give another shake, and come pretty near faintin' away; and then I put my hand round un- der. his arm, and shook for him half an hour longer, and so we made out to get through. I sent the whole account, of it to my old friend of the Portland Courier. - Well, then we jogged along to New York ; and there, you remember, we come pes- lcy near getting a ducking when the bridge- broke down at Castle Garden. I sent the whole account of it to my old Portland friend. Well, the next day your " original"Major Downing published his first original letter in a New York pap'er, giving an account-of the ducking at Castle Garden. Nobody couldn't dispute but this was the true, ginuine, "-orig- inal "Downing dbcument, although my "d vile imitations " of it had been going on and published almost every week for two years. I say nobody couldn't dispute it, because 'twas proved page: 272-273[View Page 272-273] s27- MY THRTY YEARS ' , by-Scripture and poetry both. For the Bible says, "The first shall be last, and the last first;" and poetry says, -' Coming events cast their shadows before." So the shadows, the " vile imitations," had been flying about the country for more than two years before the originalevent got along. I hope your head will get settled again, so that you can see through these things and understand 'em, and know me jest as you used to. I can't bear the idea of your not knowing me,- and thinking I'm "fictitious." Du, try to refresh your mind a little; think how I stood by you and Mr. Polk, and helped you along through the Mexican war ; and how I carried out dispatches from Mr. Polk to Mr. Trist, in Mexico, and how I carried a private message from you to Gineral Taylor, to try to coax it out of him which side he was coming out on. Good-by, my dear friend; I hope next time I hear from -you, you will be recovered and in your right mind, so as to know me and see'that I an't " fictitious ;" for you haven't got a truer friend on Mason and Dixon's side of Salt- River than your old friend. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LV. MAJOR DOWNING'S FIRST DISPATCHES FROM THE CITY OF MEXICO. CITY OF MEXICO, UNITED STATES, September 27, 1847. MR. GALES & SEATON-- 'MY DEAR OLD. FRIEND :-I'ln alive yet, though I've been through showers of balls as thick as hailstones. I got your paper containing my letter that I -wrote on the road to the war. The letters 'I wrote afterward, the guerrillas OUT OF THE SENATE. 2t and robbers ate so thick, I think it's ten chances to one if you got 'em. Some of Gineral Scott's letters is missing just in the same way. Now we've got the city of Mexico annexed, I -think the Postmaster-General ought to have a more regular line of stages running here, so our letters may go safe. I wish you would touch the President and -Mr. Johnson up a little about this mail-stage business, so they may keep all the coach makers at work, and see that the farmers raise horses as fast as they can, for I don't think they have any idea how long the roads is this way, nor how fast we are gaining south. If we keep on annexin' as fast as we have done a year or two past, it wouldn't take much more than half a dozen years to get clear down to t'other end of South America, clear to Cape Horn, which would be a very good-- stopping place; for then, if our Government got into bad sledding in North America, and found themselves in a dilemma that hadn't tno horn to suit 'em, they would have a horn in South America that they might-hold on to. I hope there an't no truth in the story that was buzz'd about here in the army, a day or two ago, that Mr. Polk had an idea, when we get through annexin' down this way, of trying his hand at it over in Europe and Africa, and round there. And to prevent any qffirreling beforehand about it on this side of the water, he's agoing to agree to run the Missouri Compro- mise line over there, and cut Europe up into Free States and Africa into Slave States. Now, I think he had better keep still about that till we get this South America business all done, and well tied up. It isn't well for a body to have too much business on his hands at once. There's no knowing what little flurries we may get into yet, and there's always danger, if you have too much sail spread in a squall. Iow- ever, I haven't time to talk about this now. . You will get the accounts of the battles in Gineral Scott's- 12 page: 274-275[View Page 274-275] 1 2U4 MY THRTY YEARS letters, so I needn't say, a great deal about them. But it been a hard up-hill work all the way from Vera Cruz hern and. I don't think my old friend, Gineral Jackson himself, woul have worked through all the difficulties and done the businek up better than Gineral Scott has. But the killed and t[ wounded, the dead and the dying, scattered all along tl way for three hundred miles-it's a heart-aching though I don't love to think about it. It is too bad that we didn have more men, so as to march straight through withot fighting, instead of having jest enough to encourage tlt enemy to bring out their largest armies and fight their hare est battles. One of the hardest brushes we had, after I got here, was th attack on Chapultepec. I had been into the city trying t bring Santa Anna to terms ;, but, when I found it was no us( ILcome out and told Gineral Scott there was no way but t fight it out, and, although I was only the President's privat embassador, I didn't like to stand and look on when he was s weak-handed, and if he would tell me where to take hold, would give him a lift. The Gineral said he expected ther would be a hard pull to take Chapultepec, and as Ginere Pillow was placed where he would be likely to have th heaviest brunt of it, I might be doing the country a grea service if I would jine in with Gineral Pillow, as my expe rience under Gineral Jackson, and insight into military a fairs, would no doubt be very useful to that valiant office: So I took hold that day as one of Gineral Pillow's aids. When we come to march up and see howstrong the enemy works was, says I, "Gineral Pillow, it is as much as all ou lives is worth to go right straight up and storm that place, i the face and eyes of all their guns ; I think we ought to fortif a little. Suppose we dig a ditch -round here in front of th enemy's works." 5 OUT OF THE SENATE. -275 At that the Gineral's eyes flashed, and he swore' right out. Says he : "No, d-- the ditches, I've no opinion of 'em ; they are nothing but a bother, and never ought to be used. The best way is to go right into the enemy, pell-mell." So on we went, and Pillow fit like a tiger till he got wounded, and then the rest of us, that wasn't shot down, had 'to finish the work up the best way we could. The long and the short of it is, we fit our way into the city of Mexico and annexed it. Santa Anna cleared out the night afore with what troops he had -left, and is scouring about the - country to get some more places ready fqr usto annex. When' he gets another place all ready for the ceremony, and gets it well fortified, and has an army of twenty or thirty thousand men in the forts adid behind the breastworks; we shall march down upon 'em with five or six thousand men, and go through ' the flurry. After they have shot down about half of us, the rest of us will climb in, over the mouths of their cannons, and annex that place ; and so on, one after another. It is pretty hard work annexin' in this way ; but that is the only way it can be done. It will be necessary for the Presi- dent to keep hurrying on his men this way to keep our ranks full, for we've got a great deal of ground to go over yet. What we've annexed in Mexico, so- far, isn't but a mere cir- cumestance to what we've got to do. Some think the business isn't profitable; but it's only be- cause they haven't- ciphered into it fur enough to -understand it. Upon an average, we get at least tento one for our out- lay, any way you can figure it up--I: mean in the matter of people. Take, for instance, the City of Mexico. It cost us only two or-three thousand men to annex it, after we got into the neighborhood of it; and we get at least one hilndred aind fifty thousand in that city, and some put it down as high- a two hundred thousand. Some find-- fault with: the qtality of 4 page: 276-277[View Page 276-277] 2T6 MY THRTY YEARS the people we get in this country, jest as if that had anything to do with the merits of the case. They ought to remember' that in a Government like ours, where the people is used for voting, and where every nose counts one, it is the number that we are to stan' about in annexin', and not the quality, by no means. So that in the matter of people we are doing a grand business. And as to the money, it is no matter what it costs us, for money grows in the ground in Mexico, and can always be had for digging. There's a thousand things in this country that I should like to tell you about if I had time; but things is so unsettled here yet, that I have rather a confused chance to write. So I must break off here, and write a few lines to the President; but remain your friend in all latitudes, clear down to Cape Horn. p MAJOR JACK DOWNING. To James K. Polk, President of the United States and all annexed countries. DEAR SIR :-I've done my best, according to your directions, to get-round Santa Anna, but it is all no use. He's as slip- -pery as an eel, and has as many lives as a cat. Trist and I together can't hold him, and Scott and Taylor can't kill him off.: We get fast hold of him with our diplomatics, but he slips through our fingers ; and Scott and Taylor cuts his head off in every town where they can catch hiin, but he always comes to life in the next town, and shows as many heads as if he had never lost one. I had a long .talk. with him in the city, and pinned him right down to the bargain he made with you when you let him into Vera Cruz, and asked him "why :he didn't stick to it." He said he "did stick to it as far as - circumstances rendered it prudent." OUT OF THE SENATE. 7 - "But," says I, "Gineral Santa Anna, that an't-the thing ; a bargain's a bargain, and if a man has any honor he will stick to it. Now," says I, "didn't you agree, if the President would : give orders to our Commodore to let you into Vera Cruz, didn't you agree to put your shoulder to the wheel, and help on this annexin' business, so as to make easy work of it? And- now I ask you, as a man of honor, have you done it?" ^ "Circumstances, alters cases, Major," says Santa Anna. ;: "When Mr. Polk and I had that understanding, he thought he needed a few more votes than he could muster in his own coun- try to bring him into the Presidency another term. So we :: agreed, if I would turn over the votes of Mexico to him to bring him in another term, he would afterward turn over his part of the votes in North America to me, so. as' to bring me in next time. But I soon found it would be throwing our labor away, for Mr. Polk's part of the votes in his country was get-- ting to be so small that they wouldit't do much good to eitheri of us. So I concluded to hold on to what I had got, and stick , to the Presidency of Mexico." "Then," says I, "you an't a going to stick to your bargain are you?" "No," says he, "circumstances alters cases." Then I tried to scare him out of it. I told him our folks - would whip the Mexicans all into shoestrings in alittle while. And it made no odds whether he fit for annexin. or against it, I we should go on jest the same, and before another year was out, Mr. Polk would be President of every foot of Mexico; for. we should get through annexin' -the whole of it. "Very well," says he, "go on; the Mexicans like the busi- ness; they can stand it longer than Mr.: Polk can; for Mr i Polk will have all the work -to do over again every year, as long as he lives, for there isn't a place in Mexico that will stay annexed any longer than jest while you are holding on to it." : l-:? page: 278-279[View Page 278-279] 2'8 MY THRTY YEARS So you see there's no doing anything with Santa Anna. What course it is best to take now, seems rather a puzzler. I haven't time to give you my views about it in this dispatch, but will try tq soon. Give my love to Mr. Ritchie. I meant to write him, too, but I shall have to wait till next time. Your faithful friend and private embassador, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LVI. MAJOR DOWNINGdS SECOND DISPATCHES FROM THE CITY OF MEXICO. HUEAD-QUARTERS, MEXICO, NEW ADDITION TO THE UNITED STATES, October 25, 1847. MR. GALES & SEATON-- MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS :--Gineral Scott and I find a good deal of bother about getting our dispatches through to Vera Cruz, or -else you'd hear from me oftener. I do think the President is too backward about clearing out this road from here to Vera Cruz, and keeping it open, and introducing the improvements into the country that we stand so much in need of here. He and Mr. Ritchie pretends to have constitutional scruples about it, and says the Constitution don't allow of internal improvements ; and Mr. Ritchie says the resolutions of?98 is dead agin it, too; and, besides, Mr. Ritchie says these internal improvements is a Federal doctrine, and he'd always go agin 'em for that, if nothin' else. But 'tis strange to me the President hasn't never found out yet that where there's a will there's a way, Constitution or no Constitution. All he's got to do is, to call all these roads round here in Mexico "military roads," and then he'd -have the Constitution on his side, for everbody knows the Constitution allows him to make 'JU1 U1F -EX Ol ^1 . I v7 - XBA military roads. I know the President is very delicate about fringing on the Constitution, so I don't blame him so much for ? holding back about the internal improvements here in Mexico, V though I don't think there's any other part of the United States where they are needed more. But there's no need of splitting hairs about the roads-; military roads isn't internal. improvements, and he's a right to make military roads as *: much as he pleases. And as them is jest the kind of roads we want here, and shall want for fifty years (for our armies will have to keep marching about-the country for fifty years before they'll be able to tame these Mexicans, and turn 'em ? into Americans), it is confounded strange to me that the President is so behind-hand about this business. What's the : use of our going on and annexin' away down South here, if he don't back us up and hold on to the slack? And there's -i no way to hold on to it but to keep these military roads open so our armies can go back and forth, and bring us in victuals, and powder, and shot, and money. Here we've been, weeks and weeks since we annexed the city of Mexico,1 waiting and holding on for the President to send us more men and more money, and tell us what to do next. This backwardness of the President, since we got into the city of Mexico, seems the more strange to me, considering. For, when he was fixin' me, off to come out here and see if I could make a settlement with Santa Anna, I tried to persuade i him to let the armies hold still while I was making the bar- gain. I told him he-never could bring a man to reason or to trade when he was knocking of him down all the time. But I couldn't make him seem to understand it. He stood to it his way was the best-the sword in one hand and peace in tother, all the way-a word and a blow, and the blow always first. "Why, Major Downing," says he, " if you want to reason , a man into a peace, that's another thing; but if you want-to page: 280-281[View Page 280-281] O 280 MY TIRTY YEARS conquer a peace, my way is the only way. That's the way I begun this war, and that's the way I mean to carry it out." "How so?" says I; - did you begin the war in that way?" "Why," says he, "Slidell was the word, and Taylor was the blow; and not only my friends, but even my enemies, admit that the blow come first." The President said that was the rule he had gone by all the way along, and he meant to stick to it; and not hearing any- thing from him so long, I'm afraid he's got a notion that peace-- is conquered. But that would be a bad mistake, if he has got such a notion; for it isn't conquered-it's only scattered. - Hs a good deal as 'twas with Bill Johnson, when he and I w--boys, and he undertook to conquer a homet's nest, ex- pectin' to get lots of honey. He took a club, and marched bravely up to it, and hit it an awful dig, and knocked it into a thousand flinders. "There, blast ye,'"says Bill, "I guess you're done tu now," as he begun to look round for the honey. But he soon found 'twasn't- conquered-'twas only scattered. And presently they -begun to flyat him, and sting him on all sides. One hit him a dab on his arm, and another on his leg, and another in lliS .face. At last Bill found he should soon be done tu, him- self, if he stayed there, so he cut and run. "--Hullosays I, "Bill, where's your honey? . "Darn it all,', says he, "if I hain't got no honey, I knocked their house to pieces ; I've got that-to comfort me." I wish you would try to convince the President that 'tis only Scattered herer; 'tisn't conquered, and he must give us the means to keep moving, or we shall get badly stung bime- by. If be only backs us up well, I'll pledge myself that we'll carry out the campaign marked out in my last dispatches, which would bring us clear down to Cape Horn in four or five years ; and I'm very anxious to get there-it strikes me that A, OUT OF TEE SENATE. 28 1. - would be such a good horn to- hold on to in all dilemmas, even if all the rest of the country went by the board. I dreamt' : 'i t'other night that we had got through annexin' all North and South America; and then I thought our whole country waS turned into a monstrous great ship of war, and Cape Horn - i was the bowsprit, and Mr. Polk the captain. And the captain was walking the deck with his mouth shet, and everybody THE MAJOR'S ANNEXATION DREAM. was looking at him and wondering what he was goin'- to dow , i: next. At last he sung out, "Put her about; we'll sail across - now and take Europe, and Asha, and Africa in tow--donfti - stop for bird's-egging round among the West India Islands ; ( we can pick them up as we come back along-crowd all sail ; now and let her have it." . - ;i Wi , , ,. page: 282-283[View Page 282-283] ,e- e a T 2"BP Wrt trcsIXY - YEIARSj. A byway we went; I never see a ship sail faster. The wind begun:1-to blow harder sand harder, and then it come on ain arful storm, and at last it blowed a perfect habrrycane. The -sails begun to -go to flitters, and she rolled as if she was going- toupset., 'Some of the oldest and best sailors am-ong the crew- told, the captain we should -all go to destruction, if ie didfnt take in: sail and furl and clew up, and get things tight, axd bring her head round to the wind. Mr. Ritchie was standing by his side, and says he, "Captain Polk, them is all ,nothing but Federal lies, as I've shown hundreds of times, not only in the Union, but years and years ago in the Enquirer. Them fellers only want to give aid and comfort to the enemy; don't pay any attention ^em! Here's the chart"-he held up in-p hs hand the res'olutios of '98 sail by this, and I'll ris-lt;ier on any ak, ank d all weathers." - -Onweqwent,;liktspti the iaitrycane-blowed harder, the timbers'tiegn- to ,creak, the ails split to ribbons, some of the Bparsz be*gu t*o gSap -and go -by the -hoard and thee all at once there was a terrible cry, "B"reakers ahead 1 The cap- tain then cju;iped as if he was. wide- awake and says bhe, Call Il andsand pither about 6 Bu ti when' the officers come to give orders to noe crew, nota Ocnfe h fthe mwould mind -or pay, anyatte ne ie atre ewtthi^ mTutiny ; and the ship wasB6..,arge, andb, he crew was such a mixed up mess of different sortsg of folkis that there was twenty dif- ferent mutinies all at once, in different parts of the vessel. Well,^ says Captain Polk, iI wash my hands of this mischief; if the crew won't help, the ship must go ashore j - -Then an old sailor spoke up and said : AiAll the crews in the worlds couldn't do any good now ;- the ship was disied, and i-ust be plumiped on the rocks; her sails and spars was gone, the tifibers sprung, and the 'hold already half full of water.' In a few minutes she struck, and t-he rocks gored a' hole OUT OF T1EE SENATE. 283 - X through her side, and the water poured in, and down she snk. ^S. lower and lower, till at last she gave one mighty guggle, and X plunged all under the water, except- a piece of the bowsprit that still stuck out, The storm and the waves swept over . her, and the whole crew --and everybody aboard was lost, ex : ; . cept a few of us who scrabbled up and clung to the bowsprit. Mr. Ritchie went down with the resolutionsof'98 in his hand. : The hard spring I had to make, to get on to the bowsprit, waked me up ; and, although -I ant one that thinks much of , lX dreams, I can't help thinking a good deal of Cape Horn, and naterally feel-anxious to get along down that way as fast as - ^ we can ; so I hope you'll urge the President to be a little more stirring, and let us have men and money a little'faster.- - I shall have to break off Ihere for to-day, becauseve got to write a little dispatch to We President to send by the-ssame v post. I send you-some- letters from Jncle Joshua, and other . relations and friends, which yott can, if you think beLst, hitch - on to my dispatches, jest- as Guineral Scott takes the letters of -! his under-officers and hitches on to his dispatches. - So I remain your old friend, - - MAJOR JACK( DOWNING. HEAD-QUARTERS, CITY OF MEXI0O, . ANNEXED UNITED STATES, OCtober 25, 184T. To James K. Polk, President of the U aed States aind all annexed Countries. - - : , - . ' -8 e in I x- ' , her as, -w "/* -y DEAR COLONEL:-.Things is getting along here as-well as . vf-- could be expected, cojnsideriW the help weDe litutwe -.are Sall - aj together too weak'handed to work to profit. Iftuwat u t hurry along down South, we need a good deal mbrehelpand - moremoney. It wouldift be noane to give that threeimllions -' X page: 284-285[View Page 284-285] 84- - MY THRTY YEARS of dollars to Santa Anna now, for the people have got so out with him that he couldn't make peace if hehad six millions. He's skulking about the country, and has as much as he can do to take care of himself. So I think you had better give up iI ' the notion about peace altogether, it 'l be such a hard thing to get, and -send on the three millions here to help us along in our :annexin'. It's dangerous standin' still in this annexin' business. It's like the old woman's soap-if it don't go ahead, it goes back. It would be a great help to us in the way of holdin' on to what we get, if you would carry out that plan of giving, the Mexican land to settlers from the United States, as fast as we annex it. I've been very impatient to see your proclamation offering the land to settlers to come out here. You've no idea how much help it would be to us if we-only had. a plenty of our folks out here, so that as fast as we killed a Mexican, or drove him off from his farm, we could put an American right on to it. If we could only plant as we go, in this way, we should soon have a crop of settlers here that could hold on to the slack themselves, and leave the army free to goahead, and keep on annexin'. I thought when I left Washington, you was agoing to put out such a proclamation right away. And I think you are putting it off a good -deal too long, for we've got land and farms enough here now for two hundred thousand at least; and, if they would only come on fast enough, I think we could make room ,i- i for twenty thousand a week for a year to come. But I'm afraid you're too delicate about doing your duty in this business;. you are such a stickler for the Constitution. I'm afraid you're waiting for Congress to meet, so as to let them have a finger :s in the pie. But I wouldn't do it. From all I can hear, it looks as if the Whigs was coming into power ; and if they |:: ..should, it would be a terrible calamity, for they are too narrow- ;lt . minded and too much behind the age to understand the rights ^* mi e t rights I OUT OF THE SENATE. 285 of this annexin' business, and it's ten chances to one if they don't contrive some way to put a stop to it., I must tell you I went t'other day to see Gineral Cushing, and found him awfully tickled about being nominated for Governor of the old Bay State. At first he was a good deal amazed at it; he was as much-surprised as you was, Colonel; when you first heard you was nominated for President. What amazed him so much was that he'd always been thinking all along that he was a Whig, till the nomination come, and then he jumped up and snapped his fingers, and said he believed,- after all, the Democrats was the right party, He's in great sperits, and says he's no doubt he shall be elected. He goes for annexin' now the hottest of any of us, and says heatakes the great Alexander for his model, and goes for annexin' as long as there is any country left to annex. His ancle is quite well, and Gineral Pillow's foot is a good deal better. I have the honor to be your private embassador and faithful friend, from fifty-four forty on one side, down to Cape Horn on: t'other. MAJOR JACK DOWNTNG. LETTER LVII. MAJOR DOWNING'S THIRD DISPATCHES FROM THE CITY OF MEXICO. CITY OF MEXICO, ANNEXED U. S, Dec. 30, 184.7 PRIVATE.] To James K. Polk, President of the United States of. America, Mexico, -fc. DEAR COLONEL :-I feel a good deal anxious to hear how-you are getting along there to home, and I s'pose you are full as anxious to know how we are going it-out here. I got your message to Congress, and their first three days' doings, andi.- , that's the last I've heard. When I found the Whigs had fairly page: 286-287[View Page 286-287] 286 MY 'THRTY YEARS carried the House, I seein a moment there was a bad time ahead for us. Says I, look out for squalls ; the old ship will have a -hard time of it this winter. I had a good mind to come right home to help, stan- by the helm, for I knew you would need me.' But then I see at once that wouldn't do, for our of- ficers 'have got into a dreadful snarl here, and I shouldn't dare to leave till things is settled, for fear the annexin' would all go back again, and we should lose our two years' work. So, as I can't come, all I can do is to give my notions about things a little, by way of advice. I see how 'twill be ; the House will be quarreling with you all winter; they'll be asking you all the hard questions they can think of, and all the time prying into your secrets about the war and annexin. And I don't believe the Senate will be a copper better. 'Tis true there an't so many Whigs there, but there's them there that is full as bad. You never can do anything with Mr. Calhoun; you know he always splits every- thing in two, even- to a hair ; and the most he'll ever do for us about this annexin' business will be to split off a little piece of Mexico. If he finds out we are annexin' the whole of it, he'll fight agin us till all is blue. Then there's Colonel Ben- ton I don't think is a whit better than Mr. Calhoun. You know what a fuss he made when we took in Texas, because we sot out to take in a little strip of Mexico with it; only a little rea- sonable strip, too, jest on our side of the river, so as to make square work of it. Colonel Benton's ebenezer was right up about it: he said it didn't belong to us, and it didn't belong to Texas, and we had no right to it, and shouldn't touch it. Now, if he 'made such a fuss about that little strip on our side of the river, he'll be likely to raise Ned and turn up Jack, if he -finds outwe have a notion of annexin' the whole of Mexico. And he's a terrible enemy to have, I can tell you; I don't be- lieve t here's another man in the country that can look down / . ; UU v1 v - a Aoj .A a A opposition equal to him. Now, with such men as these in the Senate, besides all the thunder of Webster, and all theper- .: suadin' of Crittenden, how are you going to get along? I i think there is no way for us to get along safe but to keep. such men in the dark. Keep coaxing the money out of 'em to- "conquer a piece," but never let 'em mistrust that we intend - g to conquer the whole. We must look one way all the time, and row t'other. I know you'll have a hard time of it, for Congress will keep diving into you all the time with this - question and that, and pryin' into all the secrets about . the war, and want to know what orders you give to us out here in Mexico, and what the armies are going toa do,.and where all the money goes to, and a thousand things that they've no business with. Now, when they keep coming to you with : these ugly questions, I think the only safe way will be for you to shet your mouth right up, and keep a stiff upper lip, and not say a word. And do pray be careful what you tell to good old Mr. Ritchie, for you know he never could- keep his, mouth shet. There's some dogs, you know, that always bark at the wrong time, and frighten away the game. You never can train 'em to keep still when they ought to. You rememrber more than two years ago, before: the war begun, when you was laying out the work privately and carefully, and getting your ships around to the Pacific, and giving the officers:their orders to stan' ready and wait till the, train was touched on-this side, and the moment they heard the first sound of the war to snap up California and annex it, and hold on toit, so that if we found the people wouldn't let the war go on, we could come to a set- tlement, and each side hold what they had got, you remember : how Mr. Ritchie got so full of the matter that he liked to blowed the whole business /up by letting on about-the conquestiof Mexico. A little more such carelessness at that time wiuld a a 'i been likely to upset our whole kittleof fish-we might a lost ,' ' A*. " page: 288-289[View Page 288-289] \288 'MY THRTY YEARS California, and Santa Fe, and likely enough even that little strip on our side of the river jining Texas. And as for the whole-of Mexico, our jig would a been up at once ; we might a whistled for it till doomsday, but 't wouldn't come. I think you did right to make believe, in your message, that you had no idea of conquering the whole of Mexico. I don't believe it would be safe to take that ground till the work is all done. - Tho people of our country are too skittish yet about conquering other countries ; they haint got used to it. And for this reason you will have to be very firm with Congress, and not let 'em cross-question you too close, and get you into a bother. Call upon them boldly for large armies, and all the millions of money the mints. can- make, and all that Mr. Walker can borrow, and tell 'em you are digging into the vital parts of Mexico to get that five millions she owes us. If they ask you if Mr. Tyler didn't offer to give up that five millions to Mexico to pay her for our taking Texas without her leave, jest shet your month up. If they ask you if we hadn't ougLt to give up that five millions to Mexico for that strip on our side of- the river that you sent General Taylor to take, jest shet your mouth-up. If they ask you if Mr. Trist didn't offer to give up that five millions to Mexico, and pay her twenty millions more, if she wouldn't try to get back California and New Mexico, that you had taken from her without her leave, jest shet your mouth up. :If they ask you what upon earth you can want of a hun- dred thousand soldiers in Mexicoi and a hundred millions of dollars a year for spending money, jest open your -lips care- -fully a little ways, and tell 'em you are digging into the vital parts of Mexico to get that five millions she owes us. Then shet your mouth right up again, and keep it shet, and I guess you'll be safe. Don't be afraid of'ecm; they can't pry yonr mouth open if they should try; and I guess that answer OUT OF THE SENATE. 289 will pacify 'em till we get the work all done, and Mexico all annexed. Then you can step up to 'em boldly, and tell'em li) you have made the greatest bargain that anybody ever made on this airth; you have got the whole of Mexico, people and all, for five -millions of dollars, which' is only about fifty cents H at head for the people, and the lands and the gold mines thrown in for nothing. I'm persuaded it will make the greatest man of you that ever lived yet; greater than Washington, or Jackson, or any:- body else. The world will then say, "What great things was Washington? He only defended his country, and built-up a Republic; but there was Colonel Polk, he conquered a coun- try and annexed a Republic." I'm so sure it will come to tiis that I wish you could stop their setting up that great. Wash- ington Monument there -in the- city of Washington, for that mnnument ought to be raised to you yet, and the -money should be saved for that purpose. I don't know how you can stop the work goin' on, unless you can make it out that it comes, under the head of internal improvements, and then you- might stop it constitutionally, At any rate, it's worth trying for. . Never mind the prating of them scare-crow folks who make ^.- such a fuss, and say it will be: the destruction of the United States if you annex Mexico. What if it should? You would still stand above Washington, and be remembered longer. - Our history books tell us that the name of the man who built -! the first great temple to Diana at Ephesus is lost and forgot- .X ten ; nobody knows who he was; but the name of the man : who sot fire to it and burnt it- down is found in' all the histo- - ries down to. this day. So in this grand anrinexin' business of -: yourn, if you should set fire to the great temple that Wash- ington built, and burn it down, don't fear but your name will live on the page of history full as long as Washington. : But I've writ so much already that I harven, 't room to ,say '-;5 Hi - ' ' , . I .' tlj page: 290-291[View Page 290-291] 290' MY THRTY YEARS but: a word or- two about matters here. We keep pushing the business here ; we've got pretty well through the vital parts of the country, and the army has now commenced spreading out and turning squatters. But we haven't near enough to spread all--over the country yet, without leaving them too scattering, I hope you will hurry on the thirty thousand more men that you promised, as fast as possible; that would make us near a hundred thousand strong-enough to spread out squatters into all parts of the country, and the annexin' business would be pretty-much over. That is, the annexin' of Mexico; and I take it you'll give us a holiday, and let us rest a few months before we hitch on to the next country down South. And, besides, we shall need that holiday to see about electing you President another term; for you'll have to be elected in the common way once more before you will be strong-enough to stand President all the time. I remain your faithful friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LVIII. IMAJOR DOWNINGS FOURTH DISPATCH FROM THE CITY OF MEXICO. CITY OF MEXICO, DOUBTFUL TERRITORY, Feb. 14, 1848. PRIVATE.] To James K. Polk, President of the United States, and narly half of Mexico certain, with a pretty tolerable fair chance yet for the whole. DEAR COLONEL :--If anybody asks you that impudent ques- tion again, "What-are we fightin' for?" jest tell him he's a gooe, and don't know what he's talking about, for we an' fightin' at all; we've got peace now; got an armistice, they \ OUT OF THE SENATE. - 291 call it; so there's no- sense at all in their putting that ques- e tion to you- any more.- We've got the opposition fairly -onthe , i hip upon that question, if no other;; fairly gagged 'em ; -they can't say to you any longer now, "What are we fighting for?' This is some consolation for the shabby trick Trist has served us. That fellow has made a bargain with the Mexicans to stop the war, in spite of the orders you sent to him- to come right home and let things alone. I felt uneasy about it when. I see him hanging about here so long after he got his orders to come home, and I said to him, once or twice, "Mr. Trist - what's the reason you don't go off home and mind -thePresi dent? This unlawful boldness of yourn is shameful." ' "Why', Major," says he,- "he that does his masterSl will does right, whether he goes according to orders or not. The President sent me out here to make peace,. and it's a wonder H to me if I don't fix ityet, somehow or other, before I've done with it." And then he put his finger to the side of his nose and give mea sassy look, as much as to say, "Major Down- ing, you better not try to be looking into diplomatic things that's too deep for you." Says I, "Mr. Trist, I'm astonished at you-; I -thought you was a man of more judgment, and looked deeper into things. Don't you see what advantage it gives the President to let . things now stand just as they be? He's offered peace to the i Mexicans, and they have refused it. Therefore,-the opposition at home can't cry out against him any more if he goes ahead with the war. He's shet their mouths up on that score. He's '? made the war popular, and can go into the Presidential cam- ' paign now with a good chance of being elected another term. And now, if you go-to dabblin' in the business any more,-Im fi sure you'll do mischief. As things now stand, peace-: is the- . last thing in the world that the President wants.: You've I done your errand here and got your answer; and it's turned : * * " - . .'] .-h1 page: 292-293[View Page 292-293] 292 MY THRTY YEARS - outjest right; we can go on with our annexin' all Mexico now, without such an everlasting growlin' among the oppo- sition at home, for we've offered the Mexicans peace, and they wouldn't take it. S9 you've nothin' to do now but to be off home, for the war is jest in the right shape as it is." W. ell, now, after all this plain advice-for I felt it my duty to be plain with him-he still kept hanging about here, day after day, and the first I knew we was took all aback by being told that Mr. Trist had made a treaty, and Gineral Scott was to order an armistice. I couldn't hardly believe my ears at first. I posted right off to Gineral Scott to know what it all meant. "Gineral," says I, "are you going to order an armistice? "Yes, Major Downing," says he, "Mr. Trist and the Mexi- can Commissioners have signed the preliminaries of a treaty; so, of course, we shall have an armistice." "Well, now, Gineral," says I, "I don't think the President will thank yoTfor that." "Can't help that," says he, "I must obey the orders of the Government, thanks or no thanks. And when Mr. Trist was sent out here to make a treaty, I was directed, whenever the plan of a treaty should be signed on both sides, to order an armistice, and wait for the two Goverinents to ratify the treaty. Well, Mr. Trist and the Mexican Commissioners have at last fixed up some kind of a bargain, and signed it, and, of course, according to my orders, we have nothing to do but to stand still and wait for the two Governments to clinch the nail." "Bat," says I, "Gineral, you know Mr. Trist has no right to make a treaty any more than I have, for the President has ordered him to come home; and if he has made a treaty, it's no better than a piece of blank paper, and you shouldn't mind it." "Don't know anything about them matters," says he; "I can't go behind the curtain to inquire what little maneuvers . are going on between the President and his Commissioner. . Mr. Trist came out here with his regular commission to make .I a treaty. He has brought me a treaty signed by himself and the Mexican Commissioners, and my orders are to cease h0s- - tilities. Of course, we can do nothin' else but halt and stack our arms.' "Well," says I, "Gineral, it an't right; it's bad business; THE MAJOR REMONSTRBATING WITH GENERAL SCOTT. about his election for the second term. That treaty must be . stopped ; it musn't be sent home; and I'll go right and see - Mr. Trist about it." . So off I'went and'hunted up Mr. Trist, and had a talk with- him. Says I, "Trist, how's this? They tell me you've been' making a treaty with these Mexicans." - - , . , o 1 g, page: 294-295[View Page 294-295] ,94 -MY TiIRTY YEARS ' Shouldn't wonder if I had," says he; "that's jest what I come out here for." "Well, I must say, sir," says I, "I think this is a pretty piece of business. How do you dare to do such a thing ? You know the President has ordered you home." ' Yes," says he, " and I mean to go home as soon as I get through the job he sent me to do." "Well, now," says I, "Trist, I claim to know what the President is about, and what he wants, and I'm his confiden- tial friend and private embassador out here, and I shall take the liberty to interfere in this business. This high-handed doings of yourn must be nipt off in the bud. What sort of a bargain have you made ? Jest let me look at the treaty." "Can't do it," says he, "it's half way to Vera Cruz by this time ; I sint it off yesterday." " Blood and thunder 1" says I, 'then you have knocked the whole business in the head, sure enough. You've com- mitted an oultrieous crime, sir, and a great shame ; and don't you know, sio that great crimes deserve great punish- ments ? I don't know what Colonel Polk will do; but I know what my friend, Old Hickory, would do if he was alive; he would hang you right up to the first tree he could come at." "What I hang me for doing jest what I was sent here to do?" says be. "For I've made jest such a bargain as the President told me to make ; only a leetle better one." "That's nothing here nor there," says I, "you know cir- cumstances alters cases. And you know well enough, or you ought to have sense enough to know, that, as things now stand, the President don't want a treaty. Now," says I, "Mr. Trist, answer me one plain question--Do you think you have any right at all to make a treaty after the President has oft dered you home ?" "Well," says he, " I think circumstances alter cases, too; and when the President ordered me-home, I suppose he- thought I couldn't get through the job he sent me to do. i O But I thought I could, and so I kept trying, and Ive got through with it at last, and done the. business all up accord ing to my first orders; and I don't see why the President shouldn't be well satisfied." . "Well," says I, "what's the items of the bargain? What have you agreed upon?". Why," says he, "we have the whole of Texas clear to the Rio Grande; we have all of New Mexico, and all of Upper California. And we pay the Mexicans fifteen millions of dol- lars, and pay our own citizens five millions that the Mexicans owed them. And we stop firing, draw our charges from the guns that are loaded, and go home." : "Well, now," says I, "Trist, don't you think you are a i pretty fellow to make such a bargain as that at this time of day? The President will be mortified to death about it. Here we've been fightin' near about two years to make the Mexicans pay over that five millions of dollars they owed our people, and now you've agreed that we shall put our hands in our pockets and pay it ourselves. The whole plan of the war has been carried on by the President upon the, highest prin- ^ ciples, to go straight ahead. and 'conquer a peace,' man- fashion; and now you've agreed to back out of the scrape, i i and buy a peace, and pay the money for it. You know very well the President has declared, time and again, that the war should go on till we got indemnity for the past, and security for the future-them's his own words-and now you've agreed to settle up without getting one jot of either. For the past we are at least: a hundred millions of dollars out of pocket, : besides losing ten or fifteen thousand men. As for the men, j I s'pose you may say we can offset them against the Mexi- cans we have killed, and as we have killed' more than fJ A; tiil page: 296-297[View Page 296-297] 296 MY THRTY YEARS they have, maybe it foots up a little in our favor, and that's the only advantage you've secured. As for the hundred mil- lions of dollars, we don't get a penny of it back. So all the in- demnity you get for the past is a few thousand dead Mexicans, that is, as many as remains after subtracting what they've killed of us from what we've killed of them. But the cap- sheaf of your bargain is the 'security for the future.' The cities and towns and castles that we have fit so hard to take, and have got our men into, and all so well secured, you now agree to give 'em all right up again to the enemy, and march our men off home with Their fingers in their mouths; and that's our security for the future. As for the fifteen millions of dol- lars you agree to-pay for New Mexico and California, you might jest as well a thrown the money into the sea, for they -was ours afore; they was already conquered and annexed, and was as much ours as if we had paid the money for 'em." Here I turned on my heel and left him, for I was so disgust- ed at the conduct of the feller that I wouldn't have any more talk with him. And now, my dear Colonel, there is nothing for us to do but to look this business right in the face, and make the best we can of it. If there was any way to keep thee thing out of sight, it would be best for you to throw the treaty into the fire as soon as you get it, and send word on to Gin- eral Scott to go ahead again. But that is impossible; it will be spread all over the country, and known to everybody. And I'm convinced it will be the best way for you to turn right about, make believe to be glad about what can't be helped, and accept-the treaty. The ,nominations for President is close at hand, and you must get ready to go into the election for your second term with what you've got, and make the best show you can with it. If you should reject the treaty, the op- position would get the advantage of you again; they would then cry out that the Mexicans has asked for peace, and you OUT OF THE SENATE. '9- . -i had refused it; and there would be no end to their growling about thisaoppressive war of invasion. But if you accept the treaty, it puts an end to their grumbling about the war. To pacify~our friends that are very eager for the whole of Mexico, you must tell 'em to look at it and see how much we have already got ; keep telling of 'em that half a loaf is bet-, ter than no bread; tell 'ern to keep quiet till after your next election is over, and maybe you'll contrive some plan to be cut- ting into t'other half. Keep Mr. Ritchie blowing the organ, all weathers, to the tune of half of Mexico for a song. Tell the whole country, and brazen it out to everybody, that you've made a great bargain, a capital bargain, much better than Jefferson made when he bought Louisiana for fifteen millions- of dollars; tell 'em for the same sum of money you have got a great deal more land, and more men on it. I'm satisfied this is the best ground to take; we must go for the treaty, and, bitter pill as it is, we must swallow it as though we loved it. I s'pose it will have to go before the Senate, as the Constitution now stands (the Constitution is very de- fective on that pint, and ought to be mended, for it's dan- gerous trusting important matters to the Senate); but you must drive your friends all up to vote for it; don't let it fail on no account; don't let 'enm go to fingerin' it over, and putting in amendments that will make the Mlexicans so mad that they will kick it all over again. For that would put things into such a hurly-burly that I'm afraid you would lose your election. O Ratify the treaty, and then gather up all the glory that's been made out of this war, twist it into a sort of glory wreath round your head, and march with a bold step and a stiff up- per lip right into the Presidential campaign, and I shouldn't wonder if you beat the whole bunch of all your enemies and all your friends. And if you went into your second term on 13 page: 298-299[View Page 298-299] 298 MY THRTY YEARS the strenth of half of Mexico, it would be a pretty good sign that you might go into a third term on the strength of the whole of it. I remain your faithful friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LIX. FIFTH DISPATCH OF MAJOR DOWNING FROM THE CITY OF MEXICO. CITY OF MEXICO, March 22, 1848. MR. GALES & SEATON- MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS :-When H have to write about the war, and the treaty, and things of that sort that belongs to diplomatics, of course I send my dispatches to the President or Mr. Ritchie; but when things branch off into the newspa- per line, then I send 'em to you. We've had Gineral Scott on trial here five days, for high treason against Gineral Pillow and Gineral Worth. If it goes agin him, I don't know whether they will conclude to hang him or shet him up in some/ of the mines of Mexico for -life. But lie fights like a Turk, and an't skeered at nuthin'. The President better send on some more help, for I an't sure-'that what there is here will be -able to handle him. The battle has been pretty hot for five days, and I don't see as they get the upper hand of him at all yet. It would be a great pity if a man that- has beenjguilty of such horrible crimes as he has out here in Mexico, should slip through their fingers at- last, and escape punishment. I begin to feel a little afraid how -it will come out. For my part, I go for justice, hit who 'twill. If a man will commit crimes, let him be punished for it. I'm afraid' the President has missed a figger in leaving it out to such men as he has. It would a OUT OF THE SENATE. 299 been safer and more sure to leave it out to a jury of Mexi- cans. I've no doubt the least verdict they would give would a been two years in the deepest and darkest mine in Mexico for his taking Vera Cruz and the Castle; two years more for the cutting and slashin' he give 'em at Cerro Gordo; two GENERAL SCOTT COURT-MARTIALED IN MEXICO. years more for Chapultepec and Ohurubusco; and all the rest of his life for his taking the city of Mexico. In that case, you see, his punishment would a been measured out something ac- cording to his crimes. - 4z page: 300-301[View Page 300-301] 31)0 MY THRTY YEARS I was thinking last night that I ought to make up a little budget about this trial and send it on to you, as I promised to let you know once in a while how things was getting along out here. And while I was bothering my head to know which end to begin at, a man came in and brought me a little letter. I took it and opened it, and I couldn't hardly believe my eyes at first, to see the name of Gineral Pillow signed to it. He "requested me to call at his quarters in the evening," on very urgent and important business. Thinks I to myself, what in thunder can this mean? Then I thought maybe they had got a hint that the prisoner intended to run away, and they wanted me to help keep guard round Gineral Scott's quarters to see that he didn't escape. So, jest at dark, I went round to Gineral Pillow's quarters. He seemed to be amazin' glad to see me, and took me by the arm and led me into Vtother room. "Major Downing," says he, "I'm very happy to see you. I wish you wouldn't make yourself such a stranger to my quar- ters; it would give me a great deal of pleasure to see you oftener." I thanked him, and told him that-his rank was a good. deal superior to mine, and I always felt kind of delicate about put- ting myself alongside of-them that was so much above me. "Not at all," says' he, "Major, not at all; we have to ob- serve rank, to be sure, when we are on the field ; but every- where else we are all equals, Major, all equals ; give us your hand." And here he giv my hand another hearty shake. "Major," says he, "I understand you write letters to the National Intelligencer sometimes, about matters out here in Mexico." "Well, yes," says I, "Gineral, I do sometimes, when it don't interfere with, my public duties as the President's private embassador."- Vi IUs U S V .V L aji 2y 01jL OV A Then he turned round and put the door- to, and begun to : I speak in a little lower tone. "-Major," says he, "that Intelligencer is a capital paper; it deserves to be encouraged. I take a warm interest in the pros. perity of that paper, and mean to do .something for it. I'll be the making of it yet, when I get to the rank and situation I expect to get. I s'pose you'll send some account of this court-martial down by the courier to-morrow, to go to the Intelligencer? "Well, yes," says I, "I was thinking of sending some little outline of it, so the folks at home in the United States might understand the substance of it as far as it has got along." ,Then he took a written paper out of his pocket, and says he, "Major, here is a clear account of the proceedings, as far as they have gone, all carefully drawn up, and putting every- ! thing in a true light. Hshould like to hlave you take this and send it on to the Intelligencer, and have it'inserted as coming from an authentic source; or, if you choose, you can work it in and make it a part of your letter, and tien nobody will doubt but what it comes from an authentic source." After I took it and looked a while over some parts of it, says I, "Gineral, it seems to, me it is most too soon to send - on such a particular account as this, for fear of making some , mistakes. It must take some time to pick the matters all up and put them together in the right shape,- so as to give every one his fair share. I thought I would send on now the main points of it, and send on the particulars- when we've had a chance to pick 'em all up and put 'em together right." 1 ' "'But, Major," says he, "I'm very anxious this accoun t should go off with the first impresszi,ns. You know a great deal depends on first impressions; therefore, no time should be lost in get- v ting this before the public; and the best way to do it is O .O work it into your report. To be sure, tie paper does consid- erabie justice to me, but not more than I think you will be- page: 302-303[View Page 302-303] 30-3 MY THRTY YEARS Satisfied belongs to me. I never ask any one to pu me ; bt .I have confidence in you to believe that you will do me justice. I never forget my friends. There's no knowing but the upshot of this trial may tip Gineral Scott out of the tail-end of the cart yet; and if so, I stand a good chance of being placed at the head of military affairs here ; and, between you and me, that would give me a strong chance of succeeding Mr.-Polk in the Presi- dency. "And, you know, I never forget my friends." "Well," says I, "Gineral, seein' you are so arnest about it, I'll take the paper home with me, and look it over, and if I find I can work it into my letter, so it will look ship-shape, I'll do it. And then, I take it, I shall have your word, upon the honor of an officer, that you never will forget me and the National Intelligencer." "Thaty-ou shall," says he, giving me another shake of the hand. "But," says- he, "you better stop with me to-night, and do it all up here; I'll give ym, a comfortable place to write, some place to sleep, and soldier fare." I thanked him very kindly for his hospitality, but I told him I should have to g9o back to my quarters, where I had left some parts of my dispatch ready fixed up. In bidding me good night, he shook me very warmly by the hand, and urged me again to put the document he had given me into my letter, as he was very anxious it should go off with the first impressions, So, here it is ; and if I find it necessary, after copying it, to add any notes or interlinings, I can do it: DOCKYMENT. GREAT BATTLE IN THE COURT-MARTIAL.. This important investigation, which has been going on for five days, is likely to use General Scott all up to nothing; there won't- be so much as a grease spot left of him ; while, -.OUT OF THE' SENATE. 303 at the same time, it cannot fail to add to the renown and fair fame of General Pillow, till it raises him above all Greek, above all Roman fame. General Worth, also, has shown a magnanimity in this contest which will crown him with im- mortal honor. He had a forty-nine pounder, loaded to the muzzle, pointed directly at the head of Scott, which would':a blowed his brains clear to the North Pole; but seeing the weakness and imbecility of Scott, who was almost ieady to get down. upon his knees, and, with tears in his eyes, ask his pardon, W. orth, with unparalleled magnanimity, refused to fire, and absolutely withdrew the charge from the gun, saying to the by-standers, "The President has given me all I want; why should I stoop to -kill this poor devil of a Scott?"After Worth had thus generously thrown away his powder, Scott, with his usual meanness, put on a bragadocio show of cour- age, and dared him to the fight ; but of couirse Worth wouldn't take any notice of him. Scott had bullied Duncan, but when he found Duncan was prepared to defend himself, with the most craven spirit he coaxed him to let the matter drop, and hush it up. He had, also, in the most shameful manner, bullied General- Pillow ; but when he found he had roused the lion, he did not dare to beard the lion. As soon as the gallant Pillow, the high- souled Pillow, the-chivalric and-courageous Pillow, appeared on the field of combat, Scott commenced a rapid and igno- minious retreat. But General Pillow, actuated by a high sense of public duty, as well as a proper regard for his own honor, would not allow public sentiment to be so outraged with impunity; he, therefore, pursued the cowardly- Scott, determined that, poltroon as he was, he should either fight or die. For two or three days Scott was fleeing for his life, and making the most desperate efforts to escape from the field of battle; but the gallant Pillow pursued him and cut him off page: 304-305[View Page 304-305] MY THRTY YEARS on every tack, and foiled and floored him at every turn. The talent, tact, prowess and generalship displayed by General Pillow on this occasion has probably never been equaled, ex- cept by the same gallant officer on the battle-fields of Mexico, when he killed the Mexican officer in single combat, was struck down upon his knees by the concussion of a cannon-ball upon his head, and led his troops to victory by wading chin-deep through a creek of mud and water. The hot pursuit of Pillow at last drove Scott into a corner, from which it was. impossi- ble for him to escape. He then turned and raised his puny arm to fight; but the weakness of his weapons, his little pointless darts, and pop-gun squibs, were almost too ridicu- lous even to excite a laugh. The heroic Pillow stood in peer- less majesty, and shook them off as unconcernedly as the lion shakes the dew-drops from his mane. During this whole con- test Gen. Pillow's well-devised plans of battle, his judicious disposi. tion of his forces, Ais coolness and daring during the whole of this terrible battle, is the subject of universal congratulation among his friends, and-general remark with all. LION--ASS. Erased from the above "During' this great battle, which has lasted now for five days, Pillow was in command of all the forces engaged except Worth's division, which was not en- gaged." Also erased:" He (Pillow) has completely silenced his enemies." On the whole, the above docyment seems to give such a clear, candid view of the proceedings of the court-martial during the first five days, that I don't think it is necessary for me to add another word. Give my love to the President and Mr. Ritchie; and I remain your old friend, whether we go on annexin' any more or not, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE. LETTER LX. PRIVATE LETTER TO MAJOR JACK DOWNING. POST-OFFICE, DOWNINGVILLE, State 'of Maine, June 30, 305 1848. } DEAR NEPHEW :-Bein' our army is about breakin' up in Mex- ico and coming home, I thought the best chance to get a' let- to you would be to get your old friends, Mr. Gales and Seaton, to send it on that way, and maybe it might come across you somewhere on the road, if you are still in the land of the living. Your Aunt Keziah is in a great worriment about you, and is very much frightened for fear somethin' has hap- pened, because we haven't heard nothin' from you since your last letter. I try to pacify her, and tell her the fighting was all over, and nothin' to do but to finish up the court-martial the last time you writ, and that there isn't; agoing to be no more annexin' till Mr. Cass comes in President, and you'll soon be along. But all won't pacify her ; she's as uneasy as a fish out of water, and says she lays awake half the, night thinking of them garillas, for fear they've got hold of you. So I hope you'll write home as soon as possible, and let us know whether you are dead or alive, and set your Aunt Keziah's heart to rest. For my part, I hope you will hurry along back as fast as you can. Our politics is very much mixed up and in a bad way about the Presidency. It would puzzle a Philadelphy lawyer to tell how it's comin' out. It wasa very unlucky hit when President Polk:sent Old Zack Taylor -down to M^exico. He wasn't the right man. But, then, I s'pose Mr. Polk had no idea of what sort of a chap he had got hold of. It can't be helped now, but it's like to be the ruin of our party, The page: 306-307[View Page 306-307] 106 MY THRTY YEARS Democratic party haint seen a well day since Taylor first be- gun his Pally Alto battles; and now we are all shiverin' as bad as if we had the fever and agay. I don't know, after all, but this annexin' Mexico will turn out to be an unlucky blow to the party; for what will it profit the Democratic party if, they gain the whole world and lose the Presidency? Ye see, the Whigs have put up Taylor for President; and it has com - pletely knocked us all into a cocked hat. There isn't one- half of us' that knows where we stan' or which way we are goin; and there isn't a party fence in the country that is high enough to keep our folks from jumping over. They are getting kind of crazy, and seem to feel as if Old Hickory had got back again, and they was all running to vote for him. The Whigs laugh and poke fun at us, and say they have got as good a right to have a Hickory as we Democrats have. We put up Gineral Cass first, and thought we should carry it all hollow; for he's a strong man, and took a good deal of pains to make the party like :him Il over the country. And if the Whigs had done as they ought to, and put up Clay, or any one they had a right to put up, we should a carried the day without any trouble. But the conduct of the Whigs has been shame- ful in this business. Instead of taking a man that fairly be- longed to 'em, they have grabbed hold of a man that got all his popularity out of our war, and was under the pay of our Administration, and has been made and built up by our party, and the Whigs had no more business with him than they had with the man in the moon. But, for all that, the Whigs had the impudence to nominate him. Well, that riled our water all up, so we couldn't see bottom nowhere. But we soon found there was a shiftin' and whirlin' of currents, anid the wind and the tide was settin' us on to the rocks in spite of us. We soon see that old Rough and Ready, as they call him, was going to be too much for Cass. But, as we was all making up our 307 OUT OF THE SENATE. mind that it was gone goose with us, Mr. John Van Buren, oT York State-he's a smart feller, a son of President Van Buren, and a chip of the old block-he sings out: "Don't give up the ship yet; if one hoss an't enough to draw the load, hitch on another. There's father, he'll draw like a two-year-old." Well, the idea seemed :to take; and they stirred round and got up another Convention at Utica, in York State, to see who they should put up, and they all pitched upon President Van RACE FOR THE PRESIDENCY-OLD ZACK AREAn. Buren. Mr. Van Buren patted them on the shoulder, and told 'em to have good courage and go ahead, for they was on the right track, but they must hitch on somebody else besides him, for he had made up his mind four years ago not to take hold again. But they stuck to him with tears in. their eyes, and told him there wasn't another man in the country that could draw like him alongside of Cass,:and if he stillhad any page: 308-309[View Page 308-309] 308 MY THRTY YEARS patriotism for the party left he musn't say no. And they worked upon his feelin's so much that at last he didn't say no. So now we've got: two candidates, Cass and Van Buren, and good strong ones, too, both of 'em ; and if we can't whip Tay- lor, I think it's a pity. I know as well as I want to know that we shall give him a pesky hard tug. Some are afraid we can't hardly strong enough yet, and they've called another con- vention, to meet in Buffalo the 9th of August, to put up another candidate. But others are faint-hearted about it, and say it's all no kind of use ; we may put up twenty candidates, and Taylor will whip the whole lot; it's a way he has; he always did just so in Mexico. If they brought twenty to one agin' him, it made no odds; he whipt the whole ring, from Pally Alto to Bona Vista, So you see what sort of a pickle we're in, and how much we need your help jest now. But there's one thing on my mind -pretty strong : You know this appointment in the Down- ingville Post-Office, that you got Gineral Jackson to give me, has always been a great comfort to me, and it would be a sad blow to me to lose it now in my old age. I wish you would make it, in your way to call and see Gineral Taylor as you come along home, and try to find out how he feels toward me ; because, if he is to be elected anyhow, I can't see any use there would be in my biting my own nose off for the sake of opposing his election. And I don't think that patriotism to the party requires it ; and I'm sure prudence don't. -When you get to Washington, call- and see Mr..Ritchie, and try to comfort him I'm told the dear old gentleman is workin' too hard for his strength-out a nights in the rain, with a lantern in his hand, heading the campaign. Try to persuade him to be calm and take good care :of himself. And be sure and ask him how the Federals are goin' this election, for we can't-find out anything about it down here. I used to know OUT OF THE SENATE, 309 - how to keep the run of the Federals, but now there is so many parties-'the Democrats, and the Whigs, and' Hunkers,: and Barnburners, and Abolition folks, and Proviso folks- all criss- crossin' one another, that I have my match to keep the run of 'em. But your Aunt Keziah says the clock has struck, and I must close the mail. So I remain your loving uncle, JOSHUA DOWNING, P. M. LETTER LXI. The Mexican war is over. General Taylor has come home to become the people's candidate for the Presidency, and Major Downing has also returned to stump the country for the Democratic party. But fiLding the tide all against him, and everywhere setting for Old Zack, he mounts a telegraph post and sends a hasty, though rather discouraging, dispatch to President Polk : PRIVATE REPORT TO JAMES K. POLK, PRESIDENT OF AMERICA, AND HS PART OF MEXICO. TELE6RAPH WIRES, October 31, 1848. DEAR COLONEL:-I've been stumping it round all over the lot for two or three months, tight and tight, for our American friend, Gineral Cass, and as I s'pose you are very anxious and uneasy to know how it's coming out, I thought I would set down and make out a private report, and send it on to you by the telegraph- wires, for they say they go like lightening, and give you some of the premonitory symptons, so that when the after-clap comes you may be a little prepared for it, and not feel so bad. As Hsaid afore, I've been all round the lot, some- times by the steamboats, and- sometimes by the railroads,: and sometimes by the telegraph, and when there wasn't no other . . page: 310-311[View Page 310-311] 310 MY THRTY EARS way to go, I footed :it. And I'm satisfied the jig is up with us, and it's no use in my trying any longer; and Mr. Buchanan's speech was all throwed away, too. I'm very sure we shall get some of the States, but I'll be hanged if I can tell which ones. There an't a single State that I should dare to bet upon alone, but taking 'erm all in the lump, I should still stick out strong for half a dozen at least. I see where all the at,. WRITING BY TELEGRAPH. difficulty is, as plain as day. You may depend upon it, we should elect Gineral Cass easy enough if it wasn't for: Gineral Taylor ; but he stands peskily in the way, jest as much as he stood^ in the way of the Mexicans at Bony Vista. As for Mr. Van Buren, if he stood agin us alone, we should tread him all to atoms; he couldn't make no headway at' all, especially OUT OF THE SENATE. q! after we got the nomination at Baltimore. Jest between you and me, I don't think much of Mr. Van Buren now. I don't believe he ever was a Democrat. I think he only made: be- lieve all the time; and I'd bet two to one he's only making be- lieve now. I wish the Old-Gineral, dear Old Hickory, that's dead and gone, could be here now to have the handling of him for a little while ; if he didn't bring him into the traces' I wouldn't guess agin. But, as I said afore, Gineral Taylor is peskily in the way all over the country. First, I thought I would figure round in some of the strong Whig. districts ; foir, thinks I, if I canl make our friends show a bold front for Cass there, it will be such a wet blanket for the Whigs that they'll give it up. Well, I called a public meeting, without distinction of party ; and I put it to 'em strong for Cass, and the Constitution, and Californy forever. They all listened, and- every little while they hurra'd and clapped ; and thinks I, the tide is turning- I'm going to carry this place all hollar, Whigs and all. But when I got through, an old rusty-faced farmer, away back in one corner, got up and looked round, and says he, "Three cheers for Zachary Taylor." Thunder and cannon I if there wasn't a roar, set me down for a liar. :Why, Colonel, I han't heard nothin' like it since the storming of Chepultapec. - It took me right off my feet. I see at once -the battle was all agin us there, and thought I better make my escape under the smoke of it as fast as possible. At first I felt rather bad about it. And then, agin, I thought I ought to have expected -it, for I knew the Whigs had voted that Gineral Taylor was a Whig, and had made up their minds to go for him., So: I I streaked it off for a strong Democratic district ; for-I found - our main dependence must 'be among our own friends. Here - ,- I called a mass-meeting, without distinction of party, for I was sure we should get up such a roar for Cass that the 4, s * , t ii page: 312-313[View Page 312-313] 312 MY THRTY YEARS Whigs would be dumbfounded, and be pretty likely to fall in with us. Well, how do you think it worked? I made a roarin' speech for Cass ; told 'em what a great statesman and great warrior he was ; and how he had proved the former by offering to swallow all Mexico, and how he had proved the latter by breakin' his sword in a passion ; and more than all that, since the nomination at Baltimore, he was the greatest Democrat in the country. "And now," says I, "my friends, three cheers for Cass, the Constitution and Californy." Well, they gin three good, loud cheers, and I thought that nail was well drove and clinched. Then a blacksmith, with a smutty nose and a leather apron on, gets up and sings out, "Nine cheers for old Rough and Ready!"And, by jingo, it went like a hurricane; full twice as loud, and three times as many,. as the cheers for Cass. I had a good mind to cut and run, and give it all up. But at last I plucked up courage and faced the storm. I called out to the blacksmith, and says I, "My friend, when we called this meeting, without distinction of party, it was all meant for Gineral Cass, the Democratic can- didate, and it's very unhandsome for a Whig to come here and interrupt us in this way." "You take me for a Whig, do you?" says he. "To be sure I do," says I ; "you are no Democrat to act in this way." At that he reddened up so the smut on his face turned black- er than it was before, and, says he, "I'd have you know, Sir, I'm as good a Democrat as you are. My father and mother was Democrats before me. I was born and bred a Democrat ; and I mean to live and die a Democrat, but I go for Old Rough and Ready, let who will go agin him." Then he called out agin for nine cheers for Old Rough and Ready; and the way they roared 'en out was a caution. I see it was no usein talk- ing about Whigs and Democrats-I must try some other hook. OUT OF THE SENATE. 31; So I cruised round on the Free Soil territory, and got up meetings, and preached up the Wilmot Proviso hot and heavy, and told 'em Gineral Cass would go for it with all his might to the day of his death. Then I thought I would get 'em on the hip in a way they couldn't help giving me a rousing hurra, so I called out, "Three cheers for Free Soil and Gineral Cass i"Well, the three cheers 'come as quick and as true as Paddy's echo, for it was "three cheers for Free Soil and Gin- eral Taylor?" I begun to think the only chance was for us to try to carry the South. So I wheeled about, and turned about, and jump'd Jim Crow, in the slave States. I told 'em they must stir round and elect Gineral Cass or the whole slavery business would be upset; but if they would only elect him they might feel safe, for they had his letters to show that he was in favor of upholding slavery all weathers, and 6f carrying it into every territory we could lay'our hands on. They all answered me very cooly, that they had much rather trust a straightfor- ward Southern man, that they knew had no tricks about him, than to trust a Northern man with Southern principles; and they reckoned, on the whole, they should go for Gineral Tay- lor. As a last chance, I thought I would try to rouse 'em up in old Pennsylvany. So I went to 'em and told 'em their coal and iron was in danger, and the only way for 'em to save it was to elect Gineral Cass, who would protect it to the bat's end, for be was as good a tariff man as Henry Clay. At that, every one of 'em-Quakers and Germans, and Dutchmen, and all-put their finger agin the side of their nose, and said, "Friend, we tried a tariff man last time, but we didn't save our coal and iron by it; so we have made up our minds to try an honest mnanthis time-we are going for Zachary Taylor." By this time I was convinced the game was up, and it was no use to stump it any longer. We've got into the current s .', page: 314-315[View Page 314-315] 314 MY THRTY YEARS where we can't help ourselves, and are going down over the falls of Niagara as fast as we can go ; and I hope you and all the rest of our party will be as calm and - composed, and con- siderate, as the Indian was that went down over the n awful falls a great many years ago. He tugged and pulled his canoe against the current with all his might till he found there itl i THE LAST SUP AT TREASURY PAP. was no chance left, and then he laid down his paddle, and took up his bottle of rumn, and sot down quietly in the bottom of the canoe, and tipped-the bottle up to his mouth, and sot and drinled, and took the good of it, till he pitched head over hedls down the falls, and went out of sight forever. J OUT OF THE SENATE. 315 Now, my last advice to you,- dear Colonel, and to all our friends, and especially to dear old Mr. Ritchie; is, to set down quiet and composed in the bottom of the boat, and eat away at the public crib, and drink away at the bottle of the sub- treasury till the 4th of March, when we shall all pitch over the falls together, drinking our last guggle. - . I remain your dear friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXII. A VERY PRIVATE LETTER FROM MAJOR DOWNING TO PRESIDENT POLK, HEAD OF SALT RIVER,* Dec. 18, 1848. DEAR COLONEL :-It all. come out jest exactly as I told you 'twould in my last dispatch, a few days before the slection. The arthquakes and harrycanes was awful. Some of our friends was throwed up -sky high, and haint been seen nor heard of since ; some was swallowed up in the ground and buried alive ; and all of us was ship-wrecked and splashed overboard, and left to the marcy, of the wind and the tide. I was lucky enough to get a-straddle of a plank, and made out' to keep my head above water. I'drifted about awhile, kind of confused like, and couldn't hardly tell whether I was on the ocean, or on a lake, or where- I was. * EDrrORIAL NOTE.--On the election of General Taylor to the Presidency, November, 1848, the Whigs, who had been sojourning for four years in Salt River Territory, came down the river in full force and high spirits, while the Democrats moved quietly up and took possession, and went to work- and tried to organize the Territory, in order to get it admitted as a State. Major A Downing, in this letter, describes Salt River and the philosophy of, its naviga- tion more accurately and satisfactorily than has ever been done by any other, author. v '. page: 316-317 (Illustration) [View Page 316-317 (Illustration) ] 316 MY THRTY YEARS )At last I foated along into a river, and then I concluded, of bourse, I was bound down Niagara, and should have to plunge head and ears over the big falls. JI seemed to be floating along down the middle/ of the river, and away off before me and away'behind me I could see a good many others going the same way; and, away in close to the shore, on both sides of the river, there seemed to be a good-many going the other way-that is, as I thought, going up stream. I was kept along in this way till I come to a narrow place in the river, which -I learnt afterward was called the half-way nar- rows. Here the current grew more rapid, and I floated along very fast ; but I was so near the shore I could see folks on both sides, and hear 'em speak. Presently I met a man-on one side of the river, footing it along the shore, and towing a one-masted boat after him, as I thought, up stream. At first, by his stooping walk and bald head, I thought- he was too old a man to be doing such hard kind of work ; but when he' come nearer, I see he had flaxy hair, and a young and almost boyish looking face. He went straight ahead, with a line over his shoulder, drawing the boat after him, and singing a merry kind of a song, which I couldn't make out, only one varse of it, which seemed to be this I '"Life is real, life is earnest; Things are jest what they do seem; Down Salt River thou returnest, Oh, my Tribune, 'tis no dream." When I saw who it was I was amazingly puzzled. I'd heard a good many songs that had more truth than poetry in 'em, but this one seemed to have more poetry than truth. Any how, if this was really Salt River, that we had heard so much tell of, I couldn't seem to make out how I should be sailing down stream so fast, and the Tribune-man be tugging page: 318-319[View Page 318-319] 318 MY THRTY YEARS up stream -so hard. This didn't agree with the-election re- turns at all. Something has got twisted round ; things is not jest what they seem. While I was bothering my head about it, I looked over on t'other side of the river, and there was another man with a" line over his shoulder, towing a larger and heavier boat up stream, as I thought. He was a tall, officer-looking man, with large whiskers, and stood up straight, and walked strong, as though he didn't care for nobody. He, too, seemed to be singing a very merry song. All I could hear of it was just this varse : "Old Uncle Sam was a jolly old soul, And a jolly old soul was he; He- called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl, And he called for Taylor and me." As he passed by me I see the name on the starn of the boat was New York Courier and Enquirer. I was in'a great puzzlement; these Whig chaps was all so merry; and yet, if this was really- Salt River, it-seemed to me they was going the wrong way, according to the s'ection, and Hcouldn't tell what to make of it. As I was -near enough to hail the Courier man, I thought I would call to him and see if I could get any light on the subject. So says H "Hullo, Colonel!" He stopped and turned round; and answered, "Hullo." Says I, "I sk your pardon, Colonel, but I'm a stranger in these parts, anu a stranger to you, but I know you by your boat. Will you be so kind as to tell me where I'm bound to? For I'm kind of lost." "Oh," certainly," says he, " with the greatest pleasure, my dear sir. You are bound straight up to the head of Salt River; you can't miss your way, for there isn't a single path that turns out between here and there." '"Well, now," says I, "Colonel, you ox I must be under OUT OF THE SENATE. some strange mistake. Don't you see I'm floating down on the current? Ain't the river running down this way, and carrying me along with it?" , At that he laughes outright, and says he, "I see you are nothing but a fresh-water sailor, and don't know anything about the navigation of Salt River." "Well, how should I," says I, " for I never was in these waters before?" "Well," says he, "Salt River runs up stream; jest bear that in your mind, and you'll find it all plain sailing." "But that can't be possible," says I; "you, nor I, nor no- body else, ever knew a river to run up stream." "You may depend upon it," says he, "Salt River runs up stream; and Hsuppose that is the only river in America that does run up stream." By this time I had floated so far by that I couldn't hear any- thing more he said. But it wasn't long before I was satisfied the Colonel was right; for, as the current carried me along back into the country, the land kept growing higher and higher, and at last I found myself quite up among the moun- tains; and, when I come to the head of the river, the current run my plank right plump ashore. I found a good many of our friends already here before me, and I understand a great many more are on the way. Our annexin' friend, Gineral Cass, hasn't got here yet; but he's expected now every day. This is a pretty gpod sort of a country up here, after all, and has a good many advantages. But I haven't time to give you much account of it to-day ; Ill try to describe it more another time. I've spent considerable time examining and exploring this curious river, and I think I've learnt more about it than anybody that's been up here afote. It's different from all the other rivers that I ever see. It has no springs or streams running into it to feed it, but page: 320-321[View Page 320-321] 320 MY THRTY YEARS feeds itself from its, own waters. All the center of the river is a strong current, running up stream till it gets to the head of the river ; and then it divides and turns off each way, and works along down in eddies and currents by each bank of the river till it gets to the mouth ; and then it turns round reg- ular into the center current agin, and up it comes. This shows the reason why anybody that happens to get into the current of Salt River has to go clear to the head of it before he can stop. It shows the reason, too, why, anybody that sets out to go down with a boat, or a raft, or anything, has to lead it along the shore by a line ; for, if it happens to get out a little too far from shore, and get ketched in the cen- ter current, it's gone goose with it ; it has to go clear back to the head of the river, and take another start. This, of course, makes the navigation of Salt River, on the passage out, very hard and difficult.? Now, I'll tell you what I advise you by all means to do. You know Congress is in a great taking to pass a bill for the improvement of the navigation of lakes and rivers, and they are afraid they can't do it this session because you'll put your veto on it. Now; you jest strike a bargain with 'em ; if they'll put in a million of dollars into the bill to improve the naviga- tion of Salt River, and let Gineral Cass have the laying of it out, you'll sign the bill. If we could get that bill through, it would be of immense importance to us and our friends for a good many years to come. We can't, of course, look for you up here till after- the 4th of March; but I shall be getting everything ready for you as fast as I can. I've got a notion in my head, however, that you might hold on there at Washington some years longer yet; and be in a situation to do our friends more good, may be, than you could up here. I see they are looking round all over the country for men to make up a Cabinet for Gineral Tay- r . OUT OF THE SENATE. 321 lor ; and they seem to be going upon the rule that them that did the most toward electing him must have the first chance in' the Cabinet. Now, going upon that rule, the first chance belongs to you, of course ; for there isn't no dther man in the country that did a quarter so much toward electing him as you did. In fact, if it hadn't been for you he never would a been elected at all; and if he doesn't give you the first place in his Cabinet, if you'll take it, he'll- be the ungratefulest man that ever lived I think it would be best, all things consid- ered, for you to take a place at the head of the Cabinet. As for-dear old Mr. Ritchie, as the weather is warm and pleasant, and comfortable for making the voyage, why not start him right along? He'll find nothing to trouble him, for I've been all round here, and- there isn't no bears, nor wolves, nor Federalists, nor anything of that sort. I don't think I ever see a country clearer of Federalists in my life; and every man I've talked with here is in favor of the resolutions of '98. I remain your friend and pioneer, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXIII. MAJOR DOWNING ADVISES MR. RITCHE TO KEEP COOL, AND NOT FIGHT 'SO-HARD AGAINST THE WHG ADMNISTRATION. MASON, AND DIXON'S SIDE OF SALT RIVER, Aug. 11, 1849. MY DEAR MR. RITCHE :--You don't %know how glad I be to see how you have spunked up since- my last letter to you. You are -raly giving it to the " corrupt and imbecile Adminis- tration" pell-mell. I should think every "dolt," and every "butcher," and every "Nero" among 'em must have a bung'd eye by this time.- You do-give it to 'em, right and left, about' " . page: 322-323[View Page 322-323] 822 MY THRTY YEARS right. Uncle Joshua says you are the Tom 1Hyer of our party, and can whip anybody the Feds can bring into the ring.-. But now I begin to feel uneasy for fear you'll overdo yourself, and break down, and then we shan't have nobody to take care of us. Don't you remember the story of the tame elephant that was used to help launch vessels? One time they put him to launch a vessel that was too heavy for him. After he tried once or twice, and couldn't start it, the keeper called out, "Take away this lazy beast, and bring another." At that the poor elephant roused up, and put his head to the vessel again, and pushed and strained himself so hard that he fell down and died. Now, I don't want you to. do so. When I writ that letter to you, two or three weeks ago, to rouse you up a little, I didn't mean to make you so furious that you should run your head agin the Administration so hard as to break your neck, or strain yourself so much as to fall down dead. Nor I didn't mean that you should kill off all the Administration, smack smooth, as dead as herrings, in two months. I meant to give you two or three years to do it in.': Any time' before the next election would do. If you should kill 'em all right off, before we have time to choose anybody to take their places, you would have all the Government on your own shoulders; and I'm afraid it would be too much for you. 'So I think you had better try to cool down a little ; it an't prudence to. keep so hot all the time. That is, I mean on your own account, for fear you should overdo yourself and break down. And then, again, there is such a-thing as drawing too long a bow to hit the thing you shoot at. Major Longhow used to be quite un- lucky in that way, YoU can make folks believe a middlin'. sized fish story, if you tell it well; butif you tUry to back it up with a tarnel great cock-and-bull story, they'll go right back again and swear .they don't believe the fish-story. It's dangerous loadin' guns too heavy; for then there's no know- OUT OF THE SENATE. 8 323 ing which will get the worst of it-him that stands before the muzzle, or him that stands behind the britch. So I hope you will try to cool down a little ; for I'm satisfied, since my last letter, you are firing away Jyour ammunition too fast. And, besides, I don't think it's right for you, at your time of life, to be fightin' so hard. Nor I don't think its neces- sary nuther; for things is brightenin' up all over the coun- try. Our party is all coming together again, and is going to carry all afore 'em. It's true the flocks and herds of our party has been dreadfully broke ;up and scattered about. The oxens didn't know their owners, and the sheeps hadn't no shepherds, and the Taylor wolves, has been prowlin' about the country, and carried off a great many of 'em. But, from what I hear all over the country .noW, I am satisfied they ;are all comin' together again, and on a new platform ,; and that plat- form is, Mason and Dixon's side of. Salt River.. Mr. John Van Buren is shoo-shooin' all over the Northern States, and drivin' of'em and heaain' of 'emr all as fast as he can toward Mason and Dixon's side of Salt River., Mr. Calhoun, in the Southern States, is whistlin' round his springy rattan, making the hair and skin fly, and headin' 'em all up toward Mason and Dix- on's side of Salt River. And Colonel Benton is cracking his long whip all over the great Western country, and headin' 'em all-across the prayries toward Mason and Dixon's side of Salt River. And Gineral Cass stands, you know, Iwhere he always stood, on Mason and Dixon's side of Salt River, with a handful of salt in one hand and a nub of corn in t'other, and lookin' all round, and calling of 'em to come to him and he'll feed 'em. So, you see, it won't be long before -all the scat- tered flocks and herds of our party will be got together again. So I remain your faithful friend,- MAJOR JACK DOWNING. page: 324-325[View Page 324-325] 324 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER LXIV. SHOWING THE FOLLY OF THE UNPROFITABLE QUARRELS OF UNCLE SAM'S SONS, AND THE EFFECT OF A HGH FENCE ON MASON AND DIXON^S "NE. MASON AND DIXON'S SIDE OF SALT RIVER, OCt. 25, 1849. MY DEAR MR. RITCHE :-To-morrow Uncle Joshua, our dele- gate to Congress from Salt River Territory, starts for Wash- ington. As I haint writ to you for some time, I thought I would send a few lines by him to let you know how matters are getting along up here. We are talking pretty sharp about forming a State Government, and some are for doing it right off, and sending Senators and Representatives to this Con- gress. But the majority was in favor of only sending a dele- gate now, and waiting to see what Congress will do with the other Territories that are sprouting up round for, as things now look, we couldn't seem to tell whether a State on Mason and Dixon's side of the river would be allowed to come in. So we called a meeting to choose a delegate, and to fix up the instructions for him to follow when he gets there. After the meeting come to order, and Colonel Jones was ap- pointed cheerman, Uncle Joshua got up and said the common practice of choosing a representative or delegate first, and then tying his hands afterward with instructions, he didn't think was hardly a fair shake. He thought the instructions ought to be agreed upon first.; then if the representative had a mind to tie his own hands he couldn't blame nobody else for it. The meeting seemed to take the idea at once, and agreed to go right to work upon the instructions first. The cheerman said : "It was evident from the newspapers, OUT OF THE SENATE. 325 and the way things looked at Washington, and all over the country, that this was agoing to be a hot Congress. There was trouble a brewin' about the Wilmot Proviso, and about admitting California as a State; and then that monster, nul- lification, that everybody thought that Gineral Jackson had killed, years and years ago, wasn't by no means dead yet. HeS seemed to be more alive than ever, and showed ten times as many heads now as he did in Old. Hickory's time. He was a hard animal to handle then, as my worthy friend there on my right can testify, for he had a hand in it. (Here the cheer- man pointed to me, and made everybody look at me). "I say," says he, "if Old Hickory and Major Downing had their hands full to master nullification, when he was only a young critter, and hadn't but one head, the country may well tremble and ask what is to be done with him now that he has growed up so large and tuff, and shows so many heads." At that Bill Johnson jumped up, as quick as a flash, and says he, "Ill tell you what, Mr. Cheerman, jest send old Rough and Ready arter him, and I'll resk him if he had twenty heads. If he wouldn't scatter and run as fast as Santa Anna did at Bony Vista, I'll pay the toddy." "Well," said the cheerman, "that an't the question before the meeting. The question is, what instructions shall we give our delegate about the Wilmot Proviso, and the State of California, and nullification, and such like troublesome con- sarns. Gentlemen will please to speak their minds on the subject." / When Colonel Jones set down, the whole meeting turned and looked toward Uncle Joshua; for they think he knows, more about these matters than anybody else in the Territory ; and, besides, he's a considerable speaker when you once get him started. They kept looking and nodding to him, and at last Uncle Joshua got up. page: 326-327[View Page 326-327] 326 bMY THRTY YEARS "Mr. Cheerman," says Uncle Joshua, says he, "If you know jest -how things work in one case, you can pretty commonly tell pretty near how them same things will work in another case; for I've always obsarved in my lifetime, that when things worked jest so in one case, them same things would most always work jest so in another case. Now, when I was a boy I knew a case a good deal like this 'ere case you've been speakin' about. , And if I should tell you and this meet. ing how things worked out in that case, may be you could judge better how things will work in this 'ere case, and then you can instruct your delegate accordingly. The case, Mr. Cheerman, was this : "Old Mr. Sam West, a yery clever, respectable old gentle- man--everybody used to call him Uncle Sam-he was a very stirrin,' thrivin' man, and a good farmer; he owned a very large farm, and picked up a good deal-of property. His oldest son, Jonathan, lived on the northern half of the farm ; and his other son, John, lived on the southern half; and they both of 'em had large families growing up around 'em before the old gentleman died. One day, sometime before he died, he spoke to his two sons, and said : 'Boys, I can't be with you much longer. I shall leave the farm and all the property to you and your children. The farm is under a good way now, and there's a plenty of land for you and your children, and .your grand- children, and great-grandchildren ; and I charge you to always keep the families together on the farm, and live in peace, and help each other along. There's no knowing what sort of neighbors you may get round you; therefore, cling together and take care of each other/ The sons promised that they would mind him, and wrote it down in a book, and showed it to the old gentleman, who said he was satisfied, and could die in peace. "Well, after the old gentleman was dead and gone, the ouT OP THE SENATE. 32- - sons continued to thrive, and prosper, and grow rich. Their large families had enough to eat, drink and wear, and a plen- ty of fat turkeys for Thanksgivin' and Christmas dinners, and everything they wanted. The two brothers carried on the farm, as brothers should do, in peace and harmony, and helped each other along. What one didn't raise, t'other did, and be-' ,tween 'em they always had enough of everything. There wais only one thing that they ever had any jarring about, and that was thistles. John's half of the farm was covered all over with thistles. And from stome cause or other, John had a strange fancy for thistles, and would never allow 'em to be dug up or rooted out of his half of the farm. But Jonathan hated the very idea of a thistle; he couldn't bear 'em no how. There used to be some on his part of the farm when it was new, but he kept mowing of 'em down, and diggin' of 'em up, and rootin' of 'em out, till there wasn't one left, Jonathan used to talk to John, and try to get him to do the same. He told him it was a disgrace to a farm to have thistles on it. But John declared they was the glory of a farm, and no farm could be perfect without thistles. Jonathan said that besides scratch- ing and hurting everybody that come near 'em, they would run the land all out, so that it wouldn't produce nothing ; and if John kept all them thistles on his farm, he would die a poor man-at last. John said he wasn't afraid of that his land was rich enough to produce all he wanted with the thistles on it'; and he was sure they gave a higher character- and dignity to his family, for they was a sign to everybody that -passed along the road that the family lived on a good rich farm, that supported 'em without -their having to work for it. Things went along in this way for some time. John's children all grew up to be very fond of thistles, and Jonathan's all hated thistles; ; and if the cousins ever had any sparring or quarreling, it was most always about thistles. :1 page: 328-329[View Page 328-329] 328 MY THRTY YEARS \"At last a squabble broke out between some of John's family and the family of the Silverbuckles. The Silverbuckle family lived on a very large, rich old farm, lying south-west of John's. But as the land where they jined hadn't been cleared up, and the line hadn't been fairly run out, and no marks set up, the boys on each side got into a dispute about the line. The Silverbuckles said the Sams were getting on to their land. (They called 'em all Sams, because they were the descendents of old Uncle Sam.) So a whole gang of the Silverbuckles went down and ordered the Sams off, and told 'em to keep on their own land. The Sams said they was on their own land, and they wouldnit stir an inch back. The quarrel grew s6 hot that they soon come to blows. John heard the rumpus, and seeing that his boys were in great danger of getting an awful lickin', he called to Jonathan to -send over his boys to help lick the Silverbuckles. "'Well, now, brother,' said Jonathan, 'I think your boyt have beei very foolish to get into this scrape, and I guess they've been more to blame than the Silverbuckles. But still, as you've got into the difficulty, we'll take hold and help you out of it.' "So Jonathan called his boys out, and they went over to help John's; and all the Sams went at the Silverbuckles and licked 'em like a sack. They drove 'em back and followed "em half way over the Silverbuckle farm, thrashing of'em from house to house, and from field to field, wherever they met them. At last the Silverbuckles give up, and owned themselves licked, and begged the Sams to quit and go home. "Well, the Sams said they was ready enough to do that, but they warn't agoing to have all this trouble for nothin'" and they should demand the gold-apple field to pay them for their trouble. This was a very valuable field on the north- west end of the Silverbuckle farm, and took its name from an -J VUP 1Z D iaa&D. W I, UUT Ur' TilPJ bbAAiFtLji. OJe. orchard on it that bore very rich gold-colored apples. Them Siverbuckles sot very high by this field, and declared they couldn't part with it no how. But the Sams said they must have it, and they wouldn't stir an inch home till they had a deed of it. The Silverbuckles said they wouldn't give a deed. They acknowledged the Sams was the strongest, and could take it by force, if they'd a mind to. "'Oh,' the Sams said, we an't no robbers, to take a thing by force. We calculate to make a fair bargain of it.' "The Silverbuckles said no, they wouldn't give a deed. "' Well, then, said the Sams, 'you may take your choice- give the deed or take another lickin' all round. "The Silverbuckles, with bung'd eyes and bloody noses, felt as if they couldn't stand another lickin' no how, so they give up and signed the deed voluntarily. "So the hot quarrel between the- Sams 'and the Silvelr buckles was ended; gold apple-field became the lawful prop - erty of the Sams, who pocketed the deeds, shook hands with the Silverbuckles, agreed to be good friends, and bid them good-by. The poor Silverbuckles, glad to get rid of the Sams, went to work to heal up their wounds and bruises, and repair the damages done to their farm. "The Sams went home in high glee about their gold-apple field, and sot down and talked the matter over; what a fine addition it was to the old farm, and what pleasant garden spots it would make for their children and children's children to live on. And some of Jonathan's boys, who were always wide awake, started right off over to the field, and went to diggin' on it. And when they come home, they brought bags full of rich gold-colored apples. And when some of John's boys begun to stir round, and talk about going over to dig and build on the apple field, Jonathan said to John- "' Now, brother, I'm entirely willing your boys should go ;1Qjt .?I , . .-t M. page: 330-331[View Page 330-331] 330 MY THRTY YEARS over on to the apple field, and dig as much as they are a mind to, and build, and plant, and sow, and reap; but before they go, there is one thing that we must have a fair understand- ing- about--and that is, they can't never have no thistles there, for I've made up my mind that there shan't never be no thistles allowed to growon gold-apple field.' "At that, John flared right up, and said he never would stand that for . gold-apple field belonged to him as much as it did to-Jonathan, and his boys had as good a right to dig there, and build there, as Jonathan's boys had; and if his boys chose to have thistles there, they had a right to have thistles there, and they should have thistles there. Jonathan declared again he had made up his mind ' that there shan't never be no thistles allowed to grow on gold-apple field.' "While they were disputing aboit it, one of Jonathan's toys, that had been over on the field a good deal, and knew all about it, come along, and, hearing the dispute, said : "' Father,-there needn't be no trouble about that, for this- tles-can't never grow there ; it an't the right kind of land for thistles, and you couldn't never make a thistle grow there.'- "'So much the better,' said Jonathan, 'and I'm deter- mined the whole world shall know there an't no thistles there, and shan't never be any there ; and I'll write it in large let- ters on a board, and- set it up on a post by the side of the road where everybody goes along; and the writing shall be, There shan't never be no thistles allowed to grow on gold-apple fidd.' "' Well, then,' says John, ' I'll tell you what 'tis, brother, if it is the last words I have to speak, if you do that thing I'll split the farm right in td, and build up a high fence be- tween us, and PI'll never have anything more to do with you.' "' I can't help that,' said Jonathan; my mind is made up, and the world shall know that there shan't never be no this- tles allowed to grow on gold-apple field.' OUT OF THE SEN-ATE. , 331 "And while their blood was up, Jonathan went to work and put up his sign-board, all writ out in large letters. At that, John turned as red as fire, and called his boys-and went to work and run a great high fence across the farm, between GOOD-BY, JONATHAN, I'VE DONE WITH YOU FOREVER." him and Jonathan, so that they had to get up on a ladder to look over it. And when 'twas done, John went up on the ladder and looked over, and called out as loud as he could call, 'Good-by, Jonathan, I've done with you forever/ page: 332-333[View Page 332-333] 8332 MY THRTY YEARS "' I can't help that,' said Jonathan, 'there shan't never be no thistles allowed to grow on gold-apple field.' "After this the families lived entirely separate, and got along the best way they could, but with much less comfort than they used to have. Some things that Jonathan raised he had as much agin as he knew what to do with, and it rotted on the ground. And some other things that he didn't raise, and wanted very much, was rotting on John's ground. And jest so 'twas with John on t'other side of the fence. Things went on in this way a few years, and they didn't know much about how each other got along. At last one day Jonathan heard John up top of the ladder, calling out most bitterly, ' Brother Jonathan, brother Jonathan, do come; the Silverbuckles are here, lickin' my boys half to death, thrashin' of'em with this- ties, and scratchin' their eyes out. Do come, and bring your boys over, and help drive 'em away.' "'But you've done with us forever,' said Jonathan; 'and besides, it's too much of a job to get over that fence. I don't see but you'l!have to fight your battles out the best way you can. Remember, I always told you that you better weed out them thistles. If you had followed my advice they Wouldn't now be scratchin' your boys' eyes out; but, instead of that, your boys might now be over along with my boys diggin' in gold-apple field.' "'Gold-apple field be hanged 1' said John. I wish I never had heard of it, and then this fence wouldn't a been here to prevent your coming over to help us.' "The upshot of the matter was, that John's boys all got a dreadful lickin', which they didn't get over for a long time, and the Silverbuckles carried off as much plunder as they had a mind to, and made John give 'em a deed of a strip of his land. "Some time after thiSs, while Jonathan's boys were busy dig- gin' on gold apple-field, the Silverbuckles, who had always been wrathy about that field, agreed with the Goldthread family, who lived south of 'em, and with the families of the Boheas and the Shushons, who lived over t'other side of the pond, to go together and give Jonathan's boys a lickin' and rob the orchards. So down they went, in whole flocks and swarms, and the first thing Jonathan's boys knew they were having it, rough and tumble, and were getting the worst of it. Jonathan heard the outcry, and run puffing and sweating down to the high fence, and looked through a crack, and called out to John, ' Brother John, brother John, the Silverbuckles, and the Gold- threads, and the Boheas, and the Shushons are swarming over on gold-apple field, and fell afoul of my boys, and I'm afraid they'll half kill 'em. Do jest send your boys over to help drive - 'em away.- "John put his finger up to the side of his nose, and says he: : "'Brother Jonathan, I'll tell you what 'tis, my boys are out of the scrape now, and I reckon they better keep out of it. And, besides, they've had one all-fired thrashin' lately, and I reckon that's their part.' i "The upshot of the matter this time was, that Jonathan's . . boys got an awful drubbin', and had their orchards all robbed, and the Silverbuckles, and the Goldthreads, and the Boheas, and the Shushons went off with the plunder. "Not long after this, Jonathan was walking one day along i by the high fence, thinkin' and ruminatin',and he thought he would look through the crack and speak to John. And, as he ' put his face to the crack, John was that minute putting his a face to it to speak to Jonathan, and their noses almost hit each ! other, . - ' Hullo,' said John,' is that you, brother Jonathan? How X do you all do to-day? I should like to shake hands with you, -A . . 4, " - ' ' 0: page: 334-335[View Page 334-335] 334 MiY THRTY YEARS but I can't get my hand through this crack, so you must take the will for the deed.' "'Well, it seems to be a pity,' said Jonathan, 'that this fence should stop our shaking hands. Don't you think it I i 2:f, I .. ' ., 'PEEPING THROUGH THE PENCE ON MASON AND DIXON'S LINE. would be as well if it was out of the way, and we should agree to be friends again, and help each other along as we used to?' OUT OF THE SENATE. 335& "'That's jest what I've been thinkin' of,' said John. "' I guess we should be better off,' said Jonathan. "'I reckon we should, said-John. "The upshot of the matter was, the next day the boys on both sides were at work tearing down the high fence. "And now, Mr. Cheerman," said Uncle Joshua, lowering his voice, "seeing how things did work in one case, and, judging from that, how they would work in another case, I move that our delegate to Congress shall be instructed- "Firstly, to vote against Jonathan's putting up the sign- board. But, if it is put up, "Secondly, to vote against John's putting up the high fence. But, if the fence is -put up, "Thirdly, to vote for pulling it down again as quick as pos- sible, Without waiting for both sides to. get a lickin' first." Here Bill Johnson jumped up, and slapped his hand down on the bench so hard- that it made the house ring -again, and says he: "I second that motion, Mr. Cheerman and I move that Uncle Joshua, Downing- shall be our -delegate to Congress." No sooner said than done ;the- instructions and the dele- gate was all carried to once by a unanimous vote. So I remain-your old friend, MAJOR- JACK DOWNIN-G. LETTER LXV. THE MAJOR'S PLAN FOR CONSOLIDATING TWENTY PARTIES INTO TWO. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, Nov. 10, 1851. MR. GALES AND SEATON- MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS :-If you are yet in the land of the . ( livin', I longto have a little talkl with you about the affairs of the nation. And if you an't in the land of the livin', but have page: 336-337[View Page 336-337] 336 MY THRTY YEARS dropped off since I've been away in the gold diggings of Cali- forny, if you'll contrive to let me know it I'll go to one of the "sperrit rappers " (Cousin Nabby knows one of 'em), and try to. have a chat with you that way. And my old friend Mr. Ritchie, too, I want to have a chat along with-him. But I don't know where to find him, for Uncle Joshua tells me he isn't in the Washington Union paper now, and they've "car- ried him back to old Virginny." Now, that's very bad; it's treason agin the Government. How can the country get along through a Presidential campaign without Mr. Ritchie? They never have done it, and it can't be done; it's impossible. I don't know who they've got in his place in the Union, nor I don't care; but I know they never will find one that can fight agin the Federalists like, Mr. Ritchie. How many times he saved the country from bein' eat up by the Federalists; and, what's very remarkable, he could fight agin 'em for years and years after they was alldead jest as well as he could when they was alive. There's to be a great battle for the next President, and we can't get along without Mr. Ritchie. He ought not to a gone off so; he owed his services to the coun- try, and he ought to be ketched and brought back to Washing- ton under the "Fugitive Slave Law." That law is carried out everywhere to the North, and they expect it to be carried out to the South. What is sass for the goose is sass for the gander. If the South wants to keep the North in the Union, -she must give some good strong proof that she is willing to fulfill and carryrout the Fugitive Slave Law. And she couldn't do it any better than to ketch Mr. Ritchie and carry him back to Washington, and shet him up in the Union paper office, and tie him down to the editorial chair, and put a ream of paper before him, and a pen in his hand, and set him to writing about the next Presidency. Then the dark fog which hangs over the whole countrywould begin to be blowed' away, and y,--would begin vuL w . JULr lEiLiAiL . UD- f., VUT VV Tnr ZMNAMO 4DO i) W parties could begin to see where they are again; and the knots and the snarls of politics would begin to be unraveled, so that we could all tell where to take hold and pull with a fair chance of doing some good. Then we might stand a good chance to get a President next year. But as things now go, the chance looks slim enough. Times isn't now as they used to be, when we hadn't only two parties, and everybody could tell who he was fightin' aginst. Then a single blast from Major Ben Russel, in the old Boston Centinel, would call out all the Federalists in the the country, and make 'em draw up in a straight line; and then another blast from Mr. Ritchie, in the Richmond Enquirer, would call out all the Republicans into another line; and when these two parties were called out, there wasn't- nobody left but women and children, and then the two parties had a clear field before 'em, and' marched up face to face and had a fair fight, and they 'always knew which- got whipped. But things isn't so now-a-days. There's more parties now than A you can shake a stick at. And they face in all manner of ways, so that when you are fightin' for one party, it would puzzle a Philadelphy lawyer to tell what party you are fightin' aginst, or to tell who is whipped when the battle's over.. I didnlt know things was in quite so bad a snarl till I got home 'tother day from Cahiforny, and sot down and had a long' talk with Uncle Joshual who told me all about it. Uncle Joshua is getting old, but he holds his-age remarkably well-- I think full equal to Mr. Ritchie, and I don't see-but he keeps the run of politics as well as he used to. Says I: "Uncle Joshua, what's the prospect about the Presidency?" e M "Well," says he, Major "--he always call me Major- ^ says he, "Major, there an't no prospect at all." "How so," says I; "how can you make that out?" . -* . *'il page: 338-339[View Page 338-339] 388 y , MY T'HKtY YEARS "Well," says he, "there's so many parties now, and they are all eso mixed up, higgledy-piggledy, that you Can't see through 'em with the longest spy-glass that ever was made." "Well, now, Uincle Joshua," says I, "jest name over all these parties, so I can begin to have some idea of them." "Well," says he, "We'll begin first south side of Mason and Dickson's line. There's' the old Whig party, and the old Dem- ocratic party, and the party of Union Whigs, and the party of Secession Whigs, and the party of Union Democrats, and the party of Secession Democrats, and the party of absolute, unqualified Secessionists, and the party of Co-operation Secessionists. And then, if we come to the north side of Mason- and Dixon's line, we find 'the regular Whig party, and the regularI Democratic party, and the Union Whigs, and the Abolition: Whigs, and the Union Democrats, and the Abolition Democrats, and the-Silver Gray Whigs, and the Woolyhead:Whigs, and the Hunker Democrats, and the Barn- burner Deimorats,.and the Seward party, and the Union Safety Committee party, and the regular Free-Soil party, and the regular Vote-Yourselfa-Farim party." Here Uncle Joshua paused a little, and Aunt Keziah laid down her nittin'-work, and looked over her spectacles; and says she to me, "'Your Uncle Joshua must have a wonderful memory to keep all them hard .names in, his head; for my part, I don'tsee-how he does it." Then Cousin Nabby she Clapped her hands and laughed, and says she, "Now, Jack, which party do you belong to?" Says I, "I'll be hanged if I know.. If the old Gineral was alive-I mean Old Hickory--I'd go with his party, let it be which 'twould; for then I should know I was going for the country. The old Gineral was always ready to fight for the country against bank monsters, and nullification monsters, and all sorts of monsters." OUT OF THE SENATE. 3 -- "Well, now" says Uncle Joshua, "how do you suppose we are going to work to make a President, with all these parties in the field, fightin' cross-handed, and every which way .?" "I'm sure 'I can't see," says I," iiunless we can get up a i party that will surround the wholedf 'em, as the Irish cort poral surrounded the'half a dozeai'prisoners." "What do you- think of Mr. Calhdun's plan," said Uncle AUNT KEZTAH ASTONISHED AT UNCLE JOSHUA^S MEMORY. '. .I Joshua, "that's laid down in his works, just published?" . "What's that?" says I; "I don't think I've heard of it."' "Well," says he, "he recommends to choose two Presidents, one for-the North and one for the South-each side of Mason and Dixon's line ; and no law of Congress to become a law till it is signed by both Presidents. How think you it will work?" ... ::X 'J page: 340-341[View Page 340-341] 340 MY THRTY YEARS K "Well, I guess," says I, "if the country depended upon laws to live on, it would starve to death as sure as the ass between the two bundles of hay." At that, Cousin Nabby spoke up, and says she, "More like, the country would be like a bundle of hay between two asses, and would get eat up pretty quick." -Uncle -Joshua couldn't help smiling, but he looked as sober as he could, and says he, "Come, come, Nabby, you hush up; what do you know about politics? "Well, now," says I, "let us look at this plan of Mr. Cal- houn's a little, and see what it amounts to. His notion was, that two parties, one north and one south of Mason and Dix- on's line, under one President, could never agree, but would always be quarrelin', and fightin', and crowdin'; but if each party would choose a President, then they would get along smooth and quiet, and live as peaceable as lambs. Now, if the doctrine-is good for two parties, it is good for twenty. So, if Mr. Calhoun was right, the best way would be to let the twenty parties that are now quarreling like cats and dogs, go to work, and each choose a President for itself. Then what a happy, peaceable time we should have of it." "Well,- you've fairly run it into the ground now," says Uncle Joshua, " and I guess we may as well let it stick there. I'm more troubled about electing one President than I am two, or twenty; and I should like to get your idea how it can be done. I know General Jackson used to think a great deal of your opinion, and may be you can contrive some plan to get us out of this hurly-burly that we are in, so that we can make a President next year, when the time comes round." "Well," says I, "Uncle Joshua, according to what you say about the parties now-a-days, all split up into flinders, and cross-grained every way, I don't think there's much chance for any of 'em to elect a President, especially if Mr. Ritchie OUT OF THE SENATE. 341 don't help. But for all that, I think the thing can be done, and I think there's two ways of doing it. . One way is, to get a new party that shall surround all the other parties-I mean a real constitutional party, -an out and out national party, a party that will stand up to the- rack, fodder or no fodder- and go for the Union, the whole Union, and nothing but the Union, live. or die. This party would have to be made up but of the twenty parties you have named, so I guess we might as well call it the party of I National Come-outers.' T'other way would be, to get up a sort of revolution-annexation manifest-destiny-glory party, and have a great banner paint- ed, with Cuba on one end, and Canada on t'other, and what there is left of Mexico in the middle; and get up a -great torch-light procession from one end of the country to t'other, and hire K ossuth to make stump speeches for our candi- date through all the States. If we didn't elect him, I'd go into retiracy, and settle on the banks of Salt River for life." "Well, Major," says Uncle Joshua, "I think a good deal of your notions, and I wish you would draw up some plan for us to go by, for it's high time we was doing something." So, Mr. Gales & Seaton, I remain your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. "ETTEH LXVI. THE MAJOR AND UNCLE JOSHUA AGREE ON A NEW POLITICAL PLATFORM. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, Nov. 24, 1851. MR. GALES & SEATON :-Since my letter to you, two or three weeks ago, I've had another long talk with Uncle Joshua about the rickety consarn of our politics all over the country, and about contrivin' a new platform to stand on. -Uncle Joshua takes hold of the business like an cold apostle of iRb; ,r page: 342-343[View Page 342-343] 342 .MY THRTY YEARS erty. He says something must be done, or we are a gone- goose people ; we can't never get along in this way, split up into -twenty parties, and every one fightin' agin all the rest. When we didn't use to have but two parties, he says, one or t'other most always stood a chance to beat, and they that wasn't beat could take command of the ship, and trim the sails as they thought best, and man the helm, and keep her movin' on the voyage. But now it's one agin nineteen every- where, all over the country ; and if the good old ship don't get ashore in the squabble, or run on the rocks somewhere, it must be a miracle that'll save her." "Ye see, Major," says Uncle Joshua, " we must 'malgamate these twenty parties into-two parties agin, somehow or other. I can't exactly see yet how to do it; but the thing must be done, or I say it's gone goose with us. All parties always run out after awhile, and- have to begin anew. It can't be helped-it's. the nater of the thing. All crops will run out if you keep 'em too long in the same field ; and when you find the land don't bear hardly nothin' but weeds, it's the best way to change the crop at once. It was so with the first two old parties-the Federalists and Republicans ; they had some- thing to fight about and keep 'em alive for some years. One was afraid the Federal Government wasn't strong enough to get along well, and t'other was afraid it was too strong. And so they fit that battle out, year after year, till at last they got used to-the working of the- Government, and found it didn't want any tinkerin' either way. And so they left off fightin', except a little once in a while, for the fun of it; and the two parties begun to be social like, and to talk together across- from one rank to t'other, and wasn't afraid to come up so near as to reach a chaw of tobacco across to one another at the- pint of the baganut. -At last, they got kind of mixed up. like, and:some went- one side, and some tother, and forgot OUT OF TEE SENATE'. .34 which, side they belonged to. And so when Mr. Monroe come and looked round to see how his first words was, ' W/y, fact, what Jefferson once said--woe-ar all .Federal- ists, we are all Republieans-ha- s come to pass.. And here the first two old parties died out, and new ones sprouted up and took their places'. . Here Uncle Joshua got up and went to the fire, and knockled the ashes out'of his. pipe, and put in a little' more tobacco,;and sot down agin. " Well, now, Major," says he, "it's been jest so with the last two great parties, the Whigs and Democrats. As 'long as they had anything to fight about, they could -keep, thleir ranks straight, and tell who was -who; and they. diddpdq it,for a good many years. One wanted a great national bank, and t'other didn't;-one wanted a very high tariff, and t'other didn't.; one wanted to; drive ahead, like. all,- possessed, :with making roads and canals, and the like, and t'other didn't want to go a step that way.', And so they: drew the- lilnes, and fit it out. How long alid how hard they fit I needn't tell you, Major; for you and Gineral Jackson had a hand in it, and know -all about it. Well, arter awhile, both parties found out they could do as well without a great national bank as they could with one. So- they ;drpped that quarrel. Then some of them that wanted a very high- tariff begun to th ey had pitched it rather too high, and were willing to take one considerable lower. And some of them that:,wanted a-very low tariff begun to think, and to feel, too, that they had pitched it too low, and begged for one- considerable -higher. So the jig'was up- about any' more figtin' on that score. .Well, as for roads and canals, everybody found -at last.-th at them sort of things would. go: ahead anyhow, party or no party, and itw-as no'sort of use to fight agin 'em. So here was the/ end mon't.: The- 'old- parties have had their day; and:..I teU you, page: 344-345[View Page 344-345] 344 MY THRTY YEARS Major, they are both as dead as herrins--they've died a na- tural death." "Why, Uncle Joshua," says I, "it seems to me you are getting wild. Do you say the old parties are dead? Why, an't WJiigs and Democrats in everybody's mouth from morn- ing till night? Haven't we got Whig papers and Democrat papers from one end of the country to t'other? Don't we every day hear of Whig meetings and Democrat meetings in all the States? Haven't Mr. Donaldson and Green got all things cut and dried for a Democrat Baltimore Convention, to nominate a President? And an't the Whig papers all the time talking about a National Convention, to nominate a President on their side? Then how can you say the Whig and Democrat parties are dead?" Here Uncle Joshua laid his pipe down, and I see he was in arnest; and Aunt Keziah laid her nittin'-work down, for she see he was in arnest, too. And Uncle Joshua turned round to me, and says he, "I tell you the old Whig and Democrat parties are as dead as two old stumps. Their names may be alive yet, and some folks may think for a good while to come that they are fightin' agin the Whig party, or agin the Demo- crat party, jest as Mr. Ritchie thought he was fightin' agin the old Federal party for more than twenty years after they was all dead. But what signifies the names when the life is gone? The two parties can't never be straitened out into a line agin, and fight each other as they used to. Folks may keep mumbling the names over, but the Whig and Democrat parties are dead and gone, and dried up, and about twenty parties have sprouted up to take their places. This is the reason why some Whig States, now-a-days, choose Democrats for Governors, and some Democrats choose Whigs for Gover- nors, and why some Whig papers take sides with Democrats, and some Democrat papers take sides with Whigs. It's all OUT OF THE SENATE. 345 nothin' else but jest the crowdin' of these twenty young sproutin' parties to see which shall get the most ashes out of the two old stumps, to spread round their own roots to make 'em grow and overtop the rest. "Now, suppose some folks," says he, "thinkin' the Whigs and Democrat parties was alive yet, should go ahead and call the national conventions as they used to, and should let no- - body in but jest the two old parties, and nominate their Presidents. Each party would then have jest about nineteen parties fightin' agin 'em, and nobody would stand any chance to choose a President. There would be the Union Whigs, and the Abolition Whigs, and the Union Democrats, and the Abo- ' lition Democrats, and the Silver Gray Whigs, and the Wooly- head Whigs, and the Hunker Democrats, and the Barnburner Democrats, and the Seward party, and the Union Safety Corn- mittee party, and the old Abolition party, and the regular Free-Sile party, and the regular Vote-Yourself-a-Farm party, and the old Secession party, and the Co-operation Secession- ists, and the Out-and-out unqualified Go-alone Secessionists, all in the field, and every one fightin' on their own hook. If anybody can tell where a ship is likely to go to when the crew is in mutiny and nobody at the helm, they can guess where we shall be likely to go to if things go on in this way." "Well," says I, "Uncle Joshua, accordin' to your account, I think we are in a pickle." "That's what we be," says he ; "and there's nothing will get us out of it but to go back to the old fashion of two parties again. These twenty parties must be 'malgamated : down into two parties, and we must begin anew, get on to a new platform, and go ahead. But how it's to be done, puzzles me and worries me a good deal. I wish, Major, you would set your wits to work, and see if you can't contrive some plan." 15 e, ?, *. '" *- * 1 1 page: 346-347[View Page 346-347] 346 MY THRTY YEARS "Well, Uncle Joshua," says I, "I never got so fur into the woods yet but what I found the way out again; and I don't see any difficulty here. It seems to me the road out is jest as plain as the road to mill." At that, Uncle Joshua gin me a slap on the shoulder that e'n a'most fetched me over, and says he, "Major, that makes me feel as if a flash of lightning went through me. If any- body else had said it, I should say 'twas all humbug; but if you say it, I believe it. Now, in the name of Old Hickory, du go to work and show us the way out of the woods." "Well," says I, "Uncle, I don't think we can 'malgamnate the twenty parties down into two, but I think we can siJt 'eml out into two parties, and make clean, square work of it. In the first place, we must get a principle to fight about, for you've jest proved that that's the whole life of parties, and the greater the principle is, the straighter will the parties draw the lines, and the harder they'll fight. Now, let us go right to work and hew out a new platform, that shall reach clear from Maine to t'other end of Texas, and from New York to Cali- forny, and run up our flag on it, with letters large enough for all to read- 'THE UNION AND THE CONSTITUTION, NOW AND FOREVER.' "Then we'll call out to the twenty parties and say: 'Here, look up there; that's our flag, and them's our sentiments. Now, all of ye that an't got tired of them things, and don't want to see 'em all upset and smashed to pieces, and sunk to the bottom of the sea, jest come out of your twenty quarreling parties, aad get up onto this platform and fight for the Union and the Constitution.' "I tell you what 'tis, Uncle Joshua, there's always a major- ity in every ship that had rather get safe through the voyage than to be upset and go to the bottom. And I an't a bit afraid OUT OF THE SENATE 347 but what there would soon be a party of Come-outers on that platform that would be big enough to take care of the ship. "It might not be big enough to go over to Europe and whip all Russia, but I'll wager my head it would be big enough to keep Russia from coming over here and whipping us. Now, what do you think of my plan, Uncle Joshua! Don't you think it'll work?" SMC. DO -CO. C THE DOWNINGVILLE POLITICAL PLATFORM. 'Well, I don't doubt but that would be a good way to get up one party," says Uncle Joshua; " but I don't see how that i would get us out of the difficulty after all ; for there would still be as many parties loft as there is now. It would still have to be one agin nineteen; and I'm afraid your Come-outer :'-1 page: 348-349[View Page 348-349] 3148 MY THRl:TY YEARS party would have hard work to get a President if they had to fight agin the nineteen or twenty quarreling parties. I can't see much chance to do anything unless we can come down to two parties as we used to." "Well, that is jest what I've done," says I ;"I have come down to two parties." "How do you make that out?" says Uncle Joshua, opening his eyes about half an inch wider. "When you had got some out of all the twenty parties to make up your Come-outer par- ty, wouldn't there still be twenty parties left?" "No," says ,:I/ "Uncle Joshua, there wouldn't be but one party left." "How do you make that out?" says he; "I've cyphered as fur as the rule of three, but that sum beats me. You say, sub- stract one from twenty and ome remains. Now, the way I al- ways used to do the sum was, one from twenty leaves nineteen." "No," says I, "Uncle Joshua, that an't right. One from twenty leaves onei. There wouldn't be but one party left." "Well, what party: would that be?" says Uncle Joshua, with his eyes and mouth both pretty well open. "Well," says I, u Uncle Joshua, it would be the regular Fili- bu sterparty ; for, when all that are willing to stand up for the Union and the Constitution had come out from the twenty parties, you may depend on't that all that was left would be fillibusters. Then it would be the ' National Comeouters ' on one side, and the ' Fillibusters ' on t'other; -and if one or t'other wouldn't get licked I'm mistaken." At that Uncle Joshua hopped up like a boy and ketched hold of my hand, and says he, ",Major, you've -hit it; that's the road; go ahead. I see now there's-a good chance to have two parties agin, and a fair scratch for President; and, old as I be, I'm in for another campaign." Here Sargent Joel, who had been setting in the room all OUT OF THE SENATE. 349 the time, and hadn't said a word, straightened himself up, and smit his fists together, and says he, "Hoorah for Gineral Jackson!" "Well, now," says Uncle Joshua, "set right down, Major, and write to Mr. Gales and Seaton, and to Mr. Ritchie tu, and ask them what they think of it. If they'll set it agoing down South we'll set it agoing away down East, and have the plat- form right up." So, hoping to hear from you soon, I remain your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXVII. MAJOR DOWNING'S LETTER OF FRIENDSHP AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO GOVERNOR KOSSUTH, OF HUNGARY, SOON AFTER HS ARRIVAL IN NEW YORK. DOWNINGVILLE, Away Down East, . In the State of Maine, December 22, 1851. DEAR GOVERNOR :--I hope you won't feel slighted because I haint writ to you afore. The truth is, I haven't had no time. I've been so busy for about a month past, I couldn't get time to write no how. Uncle Joshua and I have been hard to work all the time, day and night, reading your speeches and the duins of the meetins in New York and England. We begun a week or two before you got to York, and have been at it ever since. We commonly get up and go at it before break- fast, and take turns reading, and keep it up till bed time- that is, till nine o'clock in the evenin' ;- for that's the time we Downingville folks go to bed. So I hope you won't feel slighted because I haven't found time to write to you afore now, and I hope you haven't felt lonesome since you've been in York. I see you are on the way to Philadelphy, and Baltimore, and page: 350-351[View Page 350-351] 350 MY THRTY YEARS Washington; and if you should feel lonesome in them places, jest turn about and come down here to Downingville, and we'll try to cheer you up and make you feel at home. I say this because I have took a great liking to you, and I always mean what I say. I've took a greater liking to you than any- body else since I lost my dear old friend, Gineral Jackson. May be it is because you are so much like him. Fact, in some things it seems to me you are jest like him. Old Hickory was the man what "took the responsibility" when he wanted to do anything, and I see you are jest so-you an't afraid to take the responsibility; and, what's better still, you -are trying to encourage other folks to take the- responsibility tu. Old Hickory was a great hand to make principles, and then fight 'em through. And there, agin, I think you are a good deal like him. And, by the way, I begin to feel quite a liking for President Bonaparte, of France ; for I see he's took the responsibility at last, and been makin' principles, and fightin' of 'em through. There's some smart folks in the world yet; and it's well there is, for it's pretty likely there'll be a use for 'em before another year is out. And then another thing which makes me think you are so much like Old Hickory is the hoorahs. Why, it seems to me I can hear 'em all the way from York to Downingville ; and it carries me right back to old times, when the whole country was ringing with "HEoorah for Jackson." I think, dear Governor, you better stop here till next sum- rmer, and not go back to Hungary. We shall have to make a new President next summer, and you might get in to be President jest as easy as a cat could lick her ear ; and a President, you know, is higher than Governor. Hadn't you better take it? I know you can get it if you'll only say the word. Our parties in this country have been so broke to pieces, and mixed up lately, that nobody could tell who to OUT OF THE SENATE. 351 pitch upon for President; and we've been a good deal worried for fear we shouldn't make out to choose any President at all next summer. And I an't sure but what you've got here just in the nick of time to get us out of this scrape ; for, if you'll only stand as a candidate, you'll go in all holler. I never knew it to fail, when the hurrahs got up so strong as they have been since you got to York. We've got about twenty parties in this country now ; there's the old Whig party, and the- old Democrat party, and the Woolyhead Whigs, and the Silver Gray Whigs, and the Hunker Democrats, and the Barn- burner Democrats, and the Seward party, and the Union Safety Committee party, and the Liberty party, and the regu- lar Free-Soil party, and the regular Vote-Yourself-a-Farm party, and the old Abolition party, and the old Secession party (which sprouted up out of the old Nullification party that I and Old Hickory killed off), and the 'Co-operation Secessionists, and the Out-and-out Go-alone Secessionists; and now there's two new parties added that an't hardly three weeks old yet-the Intervention party, and the Non-Interven- tion party; and I believe these are divided again into the party for Intervention, without war, and the party for Inter- vention, war or no war, It was lucky you took a stand and put your foot down, when you first got to New York, that you wouldn't be mixed up with any of our parties in this country; for if you had once fairly got-mixed in with 'em, you would a found yourself in such a snarl that I am afraid you would wish yourself back to Turkey again before you would ever get out of it. And it's lucky, on another account, that you haven't mixed lip with any of our twenty parties; for- now you are the only man in the country that can get their votes. As you haven't said nothin' agin hone of 'em, they can all turn round and vote for you, and if you'll only say the word they'll do it, page: 352-353[View Page 352-353] 352 IMY THRTY YEARS and be glad of the chance ; for that seems to be the only way they can get handsomely out of the everlasting snarl they've got into all over the country. You needn't be afraid there's anything in the way agin your being President. To be sure, there is some little rules laid down about it in our Constitu- tion, but that can all be managed well enough ; it only wants somebody to take the responsibility. Folks can't always go according to the Constitution when they get into a bad snarl; they have to make new principles to go by. See how Presi- dent Bonaparte has jest got out of his snarl ; the Constitution didn't stand in his way a bit; he's jest sot up a new prin- ciple, and fit it out. And you see he's come out all straight, and now can wind his yarn anywhere to suit himself. I don't see nothin' in the way to prevent your getting in to be President, if you've a mind to. You haven't mixed up with no party, so you wouldn't have to fight agin no party, and it's pretty likely no party wouldn't fight agin you. But there's another thing makes it more sure than all that: You know this is a free country, and all the offices belongs to everybody; and them that can make the best and the most stump speeches commonly gets in. Now, I know we haven't got anybody in this country, from Maine to Texas, nor from Dan to Beet Sheba, that can hold a candle to you in that kind of business. Of course, when I say this, I mean the old Bible Dan and Beer Sheba; there is another Dan in- this country, that if you should happen to run afoul of, I don't know but the case might be different. Now, it seems to me, you better go in for the Presidency, instead of going back to Hungary; a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush anyhow ; and the country is fairly under your thumb now, but Hungary is still under the paw of the Russian bear. So that although you are the Governor of Hungary, it's likely enough there would be a pesky hard OUT OF THE SENATE. 353 scratch before you could govern it, if you went back. But I see some of the papers say that you an't Governor of Hungary now, although they don't deny but you was once. I wish them papers had better manners ; they might jest as well say that I an't a Major now, because I an't all the time riding a boss-back at the head of a regiment of sogers. No, no; that won't do-its nonsense and impudence tu. The rule in this country is, once a Major always a Major, and once a Governor always a Governor. A man's title belongs to him:as much as his name does. My Major belongs to me, and your Governor belongs to you, and nobody hasn't any right to take it away from us any more than he would have to upset a nation. Because it's a principle, and founded in everlasting justice'; therefore, it is not only the law of this country, but it is the true and just law of nations and our Government and our country not only ought to respect it themselves, but to makea others respect it. "Well, now, dear Governor, if you shouldn't think it best to accept my offer about the Presidency, and should rather go back and run your chance in Hungary, the next question is to see what can be done for you on that score. You say, you want that we-that is, all America and the universal Yankee nation-should say you have a fair right to be called Gover- nor of Hungary. Agreed; I've already proved that you have that right, and shall have it as long as you live. There won't be no more trouble on that score.- That question is disposed of forever, I hope. In the next place, you want us to say that Hungary got her independence of Austria fairly, and ought to-have it. Agreed to that, too. We say it, and will stand to it, all weathers. Hungary fit it out like a man, and ought to be free forever, and a thousand years afterward. - And the traitor Gorgey ought to have his neck stretched, apd the Rasian bear oninlt - . ;. page: 354-355[View Page 354-355] 354 MY THRTY YEARS to have his toe-nails cut off and his nose muzzled, so that he V couldn't bite and scratch anybody agin, nor interfere in other folks' domestic affairs. In the next place, you say you want "something else," which, as near as I can find out by the papers, means money matters, and food, and raiment, and clothes, and a few guns, and the like of that, because you are going back to have another tussle with Austria and Russia. Agreed to that, too. You shall have all you want. Jest hold, your basket and we'll fill it, if it is a dozen times a day. I see money is beginning to pour in upon you in a thousand little streams, and some pretty large rivers ; and it won't be long before you'll have a whole mint -of it, besides guns, and knapsacks, and cartridge- boxes. - - When I read some of your speeches to our folks about your poor, down-trodden country, it made the tears come, I tell ye. Cousin Nabby said she would knit stockins all winter, and send 'em over for your sogers, so they shouldn't have to go barefoot, as ours did in the Revolution. Aunt Keziah said, them two great cheeses that she was going to buy a silk gown with, she would sell for money and send it to the Kossuth fund in- New York. Uncle Joshua said he would sell his three-year old steers, for he could do his plowing next summer with the old oxen, and send the money to you. Cousin Sargent Joel sot in a deep study; at last says he, "I don't know as l've got anything to send but that little piece of re- monstrance," and he pointed to his old rifle that hung up against the wall; says he, "I'll send that over to Hungary to shoot the old Russian Bear if he comes growling round agin." And then he sot thinking a minute longer, and he jumped up and smit his fists together, and says lie, "No, I won't send it; 'll go and carry it myself." So you see, dear Governor, there isn't much danger but what you'll get " something else." In the next place, when you come to-the scratch, you want OVT OF THE SE'NATE . 855 our Government and this whole nation to hold the Russian Bear back and not let him meddle, while Hungary and Aus- tria has a fair tussle. And you want we should give him fair warning before-hand, and tell him he shan't meddle, no how ; and, if we do, you think he'll mind us. Maybe he would, and maybe he wouldn't; and if he wouldn't, what then? Then AID AND COMFORT TO GOVERNOR KOSSUTH. you want us to go right at him, and fight him down, and make him mind, because it's right and just; and now we've got to be a great and powerful nation, it is our duty to look round and take care of the world, and make all the folks do right. Well, now, dear Governor, as to that, I don't know but we aught to stop and think about it a little. In the first place, page: 356-357[View Page 356-357] -356 MY THRTY YEARS we have a rule here that " all just government derives its powers from the consent of the governed." So, if we've got to look round and govern the world, hadn't we aught to get the world's consent first? And, as you want to take hold of Russia first, I s'pose she is the first one we aught to ask con- sent of. -And if the Russian will consent that we shall hold him back, we'll hold him back and run the risk of it. And in the next place, dear Governor, it might be very well for us to take care of the world, and carry out the laws of nations, -and make everybody do right everywhere, if there wasn't no danger of our getting more than our hands full. Butonly look at it. Suppose, when Hungary begins her tussle, the Russian should show his teeth and grab hold of her. Then we should have to send over an army and ships to help drive him back. Then suppose Poland should start up and want to be free-and she has as bloody a right to be free as any nation in the world-then we must send an army to take care of Poland, for the Russians would fight most awfully there. And there's France, too. You say "the Government of France is on the side of the oppressors, and the nation of France ismondeof the oppressed nations." Then, of course, it will be our next duty to send an army and put down the Gov- ernment of France, and let the nation go free. And then, besides the East Indies, and China, -and Circassia, and lots of other places that the geography tells about, there's a good mnaiy things that we should have to look after nearer home. When fillibusters go to upset Cuba, we must send our ships and armies to take care of that. And, then, in Mexico and South America there's troubles all the time to look after. Now, don't you think,-dear Governor, there might be a leetle danger of our getting our hands full? But, come what may, dear Governor, I shall remain your friend forever, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE. SENATE - 35 7 LETTER LxVIII. PROCEEDINGS OF THE DOWNINGVILLE CONVENTION TO CHOOSE A DELE- GATE TO BALTIMORE, AND DECIDE ON THE PRESIDENCY. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, Feb. 9, 1852. The following notice was posted up, bright and early, yes- terday morning, on the meetin'-house, and on the center school-house, and on Bill Johnston's store: Rt- d' I'IIll'l NOTICE-DEIMOCRATS AROUSE I "The Democrats of Downingville, without distinction of party, are requested to meet at the center school-house to-morrow evening, February 9, at Seven page: 358-359[View Page 358-359] 358 MY THRTY YEARS- o'clock, to settle the question about the next Presidency, and choose a Dele gate to-the Baltimore Convention. The country expects every Democrat to db his duty, and the whole Democracy of all parties is especially requested to attend. The interest of the country and the Democratic party is at stake. Therefore, come one, come all. And it is expected that every true Democrat will leave all party prejudices at home. "BY ORDER OF THE DEMOCRATIC TOWN COMMTTEE." Pursuant to the above notice, the largest and most respect- able Democratic meeting ever held in Downingville assembled at seven o'clock, and filled the school-house chock full. Joshua Downing, Esq., Postmaster (Uncle Joshua), was unanimously appointed Chairman, and Mr. Seth Stiles (school- master), was chosen Secretary. Uncle Joshua took the chair, amid the cheers of the meetin'. He's always been Chairman of the Democracy this last thirty years. So he knew what he had to. depend upon, and come prepared for it. Aunt Keziah had combed his hair all down smooth, and he wore his fur hat and go-to-meetin' coati The chairman put on his spectacles, and read the notice. calling- the meetin', and says he, "Gentlemen and fellow-Democrats, the important business we have before us seems to be to, settle the- question about the next Presidency, and choose; a delegate to Baltimore. As there is two branches to the business, which shall we take hold of first?" Doctor Briggs. I move that we take the question of the Presidency first, as that comes first in the notice, and'I take it that is the main question. Cha-irman. If that is your minds, gentlemen, you will please- Bill Johnson, (in a sharp, loud voice.) Hold on there, Squire, or Mr. Chairman, I should say ; don't put that ere question yet, for I've got something to say first. I don't think that would be the best way to go to work. I've no notion of taking hold of the poker at the hot end. Let us go to work OUT OF THE SENATE. 359 and choose a Delegate first, while we are cool, and go into the Presidency arterwards. We are all quiet and unanimous now, and it is the largest meeting of the Democracy that we've everlhad since Old,Hickory's second term. It looks as if the good Old Hickory times was coming back again, and the Democracy of the country will once more be on its legs. Now, H say, seeing we've- got into a little clear, smooth water, don't let us rile it. The next Presidency is a ticklish ques- tion, and if we- begin to stir it, may be it'll be hard work to - see bottom. Therefore, Squire, I move that we begin our business t'other eend foremost; and I move that we choose Major Jack Downing for our Delegate to Baltimore. Chairman. If that is your minds, gentlemen, you will please to- Solomon Jones, (trader at the upper corner, and nateral enemy to Bill Johnson, trader at the lower corner.) Mr. Chair- man, I hope that motion won't pass. I didn't come here to be ketched in an- Abolition trap; and I won't be if I can help it. I don't want no underhand work, and I shan't take a step on the road till I can-read on the guide-board whereit's going to. Before we choose a delegate, I want to know what he is going to do. Let the work be chalked: out- beforehand, and then choose the best man to do it. I'm a Democrat of the Jackson stamp, but I aint no Abolitionist. I always went for- Jack- son, and will always go for his successors, as long as they follow in his footsteps. I always went for Van Buren as- long as he followed in Jackson's footsteps; but when he turned Abolition I don't go for, him no more, nor his son John neither. Bill Johnson. Squire, I wish you to put my question, to choose Major Jack Downing to Baltimore. If we can't trust him as a good Jackson Democrat, there isn't a man, in the United States that we can trust. He was always the old Gineral's right hand man. And as for Abolition traps, I wish page: 360-361[View Page 360-361] 360 MY THRTY YEARS Mr. Jones's store was as free from rum-traps and gin-traps as I am from Abolition traps- - Solomon Jones. Mr. Chairman, I call the gentleman to order. I want to know, before he goes any further, whether this is a temperance meeting or a Democratic meeting? Bill Johnson. It is as much of a temperance meqting as it is an Abolition meeting. If Mr. Jones brings in Abolition, I've jest as good a right to bring in temperance. And as for traps, sir, if the gentleman undertakes to talk about Abolition traps, I'll jest let him know the war can be carried into Africa. Yes, sir, the boot is decidedly -on t'other leg. The trap is all on t'other side, sir ; all on the slavery side. I'm a good Jack- son Democrat; but I've no notion of being ketchel in a slavery trap. And that's why I want to send a delegate to Baltimore that we can depend upon, such as Major Downing; one that'll keep us out of the slavery trap. For, I tell you, sir, the South has got the slavery trap set all over the country, and covered with a good many pieces of sly tempting bait. There's a bit of nice-flavored Buchanan bait here, and a strong Cass bait there, and a little Douglas bait further along, and a fat Houston bait out yonder, and on the middle of the pan there's a mysterious bit of Butler bait, nicely rolled in meal- yes, sir, all rolled in meal, and what's more, to make it easy to swallow, it's rubbed over with a little Yan Buren oil. Now, sir, I don't swallow none of them baits, and no man don't get my vote for President without he comes right up to the chalk first, and declares, up and down, that he isn't no slavery man. Doctor Briggs. Mr. Chairman, it seenis to me neighbor Johnson has got hold of the hot end of the poker after all, and has fairly got to stirring the Presidency with it, whether we will or no. -So that my motion to go into the que'stion of the Presidency first seems to be carried without being put to vote. Now, sir, I am glad to see that Mr. Jones and Mr. Johnson OUT OF THE SENATE. -361 agree exactly in one thing, that is, that they wont neither of 'em move a step in the dark, nor stir an inch till they know where they are going to. Mr. Jones wont vote for a delegate till he knows his man, and knows exactly what that delegate is going to do. And Mr. Jonnson wont vote for a President till he knows his man, and knows he's all right, and isn't no slavery man. Solomon Jonles. Nor I wont vote for no President till I know he's all right, and isn't no Abolitionist. OJohn Robinson. Mr. Chairman, nor I wont vote for no Pres- ident that isn't a friend to Cuba. If a lot of fellers is a mind to go and help Cuba get her independence, I say I don't want a President that'll be dogging after 'em and stopping of 'em. Sargent Joel Downing. For my part, Mr. Chairman, I've made up my- mind not to vote for any m'an for President that won't go for KIossuth, clear up to the hub, and stand ready to fight the Russian Bear, if he meddles with Hungary. I say freedom is the right of everybody, and I go for it; and I want a President that'll go for it, too, up to fifty-four forty and fight, if it can't be got without. I call that good Jackson doctrine. Old Hickory would go for it if he was alive, and the Democracy must see that he has a successor that'll go for it now. That's the foundation of the Democratic principle-freedom for every- body. Solomon Jones. Freedom for everybody, is it? I want to know if the gentleman means freedom for the niggers south of Mason and Dixon's line? If he does, I pronounce him a bloody Abolitionist, and no Democrat. Sargent Joel. I said freedom for everybody, and I'll stick to it. You can't split a hair ; nobody can't split hairs now Mr. Calhoun's dead. And you can't split a principle; and I say the foundation of the Democratic principle is freedom for every- page: 362-363[View Page 362-363] 362 MY THRTY YEARS body, and I'll stick to it. And I want a President that will carry that principle out straight on all sides, in Hungary and everywhere else. And when we choose our delegate to Bal- timore, I shall move to give him instructions to vote for a Kossuth candidate for the Presidency. Solomon Jones. Then, sir, you are an Abolitionist, and your candidate will be an Abolitionist, and the whole South will be agin you; and you'll find, if you can't split hairs, you can split the country, and the whole Democracy will be torn to flinders, and we shall loose all the offices. Sargent -Joel. I don't fight for offices, I fight for liberty ;' freedom for everybody ; that's my motto. Deacon Snow. I feel it my duty, Mr. Chairman, to caution our Democratic brethren not to be too rash. I think we aught to have a President that will be prudent, and not get us into any tangling alliances with other nations, and will carry out the safe neutrality doctrines laid down by Washington. Doctor Briggs. Mr. Chairman, we seem to be going all round Robin Hood's barn, but I don't see as we are,anywhere near coming to the point. Now, sir, it seems to me the way we should go is as plain as the road to mill. Is this a Democratic meeting? and are we all Democrats? That's the question. If we are all Democrats, then of course we all want a Demo- cratic President; and we aught to fix ourselves on that point, and not be looking round for any other nails to hang our hats on. Therefore, I move that we instruct our delegate to Bal- timore to vote for a candidate for President that is a stanch Democrat, and in favor of all sound Democratic principles. Chairman. Are you ready for that question? If that is your minds, gentlemen, please-- Solomon Jones. Mr. Cheerman, I oppose that motion, and before it's put I want to know what is sound Democratic prin- ciples. I want to know if Abolition is one of 'em? OUT OF THE SENATE. 363 Bill Johnson. And I want to know if slavery is one of 'em'! Sargent Joel. And I want to know if Russia's tramplin' down Hungary is one of 'em? John Robinson. And I want to know if Cuba is one of 'em? Deacon Snow. Mr. Chairman, as there seems to be some confusion and misunderstanding about Democratic principles, and there don't seem to te much chance of doing anything till these matters are settled, I move that Squire Downing, our venerable Chairman, shall make a plain, full statement to this meeting of all the sound Democratic principles; and then we shall have something to go by. [This was seconded all round, and Uncle Joshua, coloring a little, laid his specs on the desk, and got up out of his chair.] Chairman. Gentlemen and Democrats, as for. the Dimo- cratic principle, I view it is very important we should have a fair understanding of it, for it is the vital principle of the party, and without it we can't hold together. In the old Gineral's time, if my memory sarves me right, we had three principles to go by-one was the Bank, and one was the Tariff, and t'other was the Internal Improvements. That is to say, them was the principles we had to fight agin. Them was the Whig principles ; and the, Democratic principle was to fight agin the three Whig principles. And as long as we stuck to that we beat, and got the offices. But the science of politics has advanced a good deal in these latter years, since the Gineral's time, and so many new principles are crowded in, belter skelter, that we get kind of confused and mixed up. I don't th'ink they do any good. Some of these new principles, instead of holding us together, seem to be pretty likely to blow us apart like gun-powder. But the good old Jackson principles work t'other way; they hold us to- gether like wax, and give us the offices. 'Therefore, I think we may safely say we go agin the Bank, we go agin the . . page: 364-365[View Page 364-365] 864 MY THRTY YEARS Tariff, and we go agin Internal Improvements. And I think our delegate to Baltimore should be instructed to stand on that platform. ii Johnson. I move that we amend that platform by adding that we go agin slavery. Solomon Johnson. I move, Mr. Cheerman, that we amend it by adding that we go agin Abolition. Sargent Joel. I move that we amend it by adding that we go agin Russia. Chairman. Shall we put the question on the platform, with the three amendments added to it? Deacon Snow. Mr. Chairman, if these amendments are added, I think there's a number of other amendments that aught to be added besides, particularly the neutrality doc- trines of Washington. Therefore, I move that we adjourn this meeting for one week, and that the whole subject be re- ferred to a committee, to be appointed by the Chairman, and that they report to the next meeting a Democratic platform containing all the sound simon-pure Democratic principles. [Deacon Show's motion was put and carried, and the Con- vention adjourned.] NOTE FROM MAJOR JACK DOWNING TO MR. GALES & SEATON. MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS :-'ve correctified the minutes of Secretary Stiles, and send it to you to publish, to let our Democratic brethren, all over the country, know that we've made a rally here to try to save the party (which you know we thought awhile agd was dead), and so fur we've met with very encouraging success. MAJOR JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE. 865 LETTER LXIX. PROCEEDINGS AT THE ADJOURNED MEETING OF THE DEMOCRATIC CON- VENTION IN DOWNINGVILLE, TO CHOOSE A DELEGATE TO BALTIMORE, AND DECIDE ON THE PRESIDENCY. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, March 10, 1852. According to a call from Uncle Joshua, the Chairman, posted up in the usual places-that is, on the meetin'-house, and on the center school-house, and on Bill Johnson's store-the adjourned meeting from February 9 was held this evening in the center school-house. Democrats all on hand, without dis- tinction of party, and the school-house chock full before seven o'clock. On taking the chair, Unde Joshua called the meetin' to order, and addressed them as follers: "Gentlemen and feller-Democrats, before we take up the business of the evening, I feel it my duty to say a few words about the present state of our party, and to lift up my warn- ing voice against divisions. If we can't come together like brothers, and all pull at one end of the rope, we're gone. If part pulls at one end of the rope, and part pulls at t'other end, the rope snaps, and we all tumble head over heels and come to the ground. So I hope, feller-Democrats, thq divisions and disputes that broke out in our last meetin, February 9, won't be seen to-night'. I say, feller-Democrats, if we mean to beat; we must, harmonize, as Mr. Ritchie used to say; we must harmonize. It's true there's some pretty hard difficulties in our way, but we must get round 'em. When I'm ploughing in the field with a smart team, and see a hard stump right in the way, I know better than to go straight ahead, and keep the plough in, and stick 'the plough-share right among the roots, and tear the plough to pieces. But what do I do? I - s 1 At;"' page: 366-367[View Page 366-367] 3G6 M Y THRTY YEARS jest run the plough out of the ground, and slip round the stump, and then set in again, and go along as smooth as ever. And so when I'm mowing in haying time, and see a hornet's nest in the side of a stump, or in a heap of stones, I had a good deal rather leave a little grass standing round 'em than to mow up so close as to stir 'em up, and bring the whole swarm out round my ears. Now, I say, feller-Democrats, if i RUNNING THE PLOUGH INTO AN ABOLITION STUMP. the Denmocratic party would only jest keep out of the way of stumps and hornets' nests, we could get along smooth enough, and carry the day any time. But if we are agoing to run our plough-share into every Abolition stump that stands in the way, and stick our scythe into every slavery hornets' nest OUT OF THE SENATE. bj7 that we come across, the jig is up with us, and we may as well give up the farm at once, and go-off to the Grand Banks- and ketch codfish, for it would be no use for us to fish for offices any longer, unless we can harmonize. "Gentlemen, that distinguished old Democrat of Pennsyl- vania, Mr. Buchanan, lately wrote a letter to the Democrats of Baltimore ; it was dated the 23d of February; it was a great letter; and Mr. Buchanan is a great man. In that letter he says: 'There has seldom been a period when the Democratic-party of the country was in greater danger of suffering a defeat than at the present moment.' And, gentre- men, a Democratic member of Congress, from Ohio, Mr. Olds, made a speech in the House the fifth of this month, in which he says: 'Mr. Chairman, I am free to acknowledge, as a National Democrat, that I am humiliated at the bickerings exhibited by prominent Democrats upon this floor.' Gentle- men, these handwritings on the wall show us what we are coming to if we don't harmonize. Therefore, I hope we shall set an example of harmony here to-night that will send a thrill through the whole country, from Maine to Texas, and from the Atlantic to Californy." . Unde Jos/ha sot down, and the meetin' give three cheers for the harmony of the Democratic party. Bill Johnson. - Mr. Chairman, I rise to renew the motion that I made at the last meeting, that we choose Major Jack Downing for our delegate to the Baltimore Convention. Doctor Briggs. My motion was before that, Mr. Chairman, which was, that we take up the question of the Presidency first. And I still think we aught to discuss that matter, and have a fair understanding about it, before we choose our delegate to Baltimore. However, in these times I go for har- mony, and for the sake of harmony I withdraw the motion, and am ready to vote on the delegate. -' * - :.. page: 368-369[View Page 368-369] 368 . MY THRTY YEARS [The motion was then put by the chairman, and Major Downing was elected delegate to Baltimore by the unanimous vote of the Convention, followed by three cheers.] Chairman. There, feller Democrats, is an example of har- mony. That shows us what we can do when we all pull together. If we can only make the Democrats all over the country pull together, we shall choose our President jest as easy as we have our delegate. DoctorBriggs. In order to do that, Mr. Chairman, we must fix on the right candidate. And I hope we shall now have a full and free discussion, lay down our platform of Democratic principles, and then examine the candidates and see who is the best man to stand on our platform. Chairman. Well, yes, Doctor, you are about right in theory, but sometimes practice, in order to get along, has to be different from theory. ,I am an old Democrat, as you all know, and I've seen how things has worked this forty years. Now, my own opinion is, that the first and the main thing is to pick out the man that we can elect, and not bother much about principles. It isn't principles that gives us the offices, but the man ; and we must elect our man, or get no offices. The Dimocratic principles can be regulated after we agree on our man, for ?ey are all very simple and plain ; and the fewer the better. In Gineral Jackson's time we didn't have but three. One was the Bank, and one was the Tariff, and one was Internal Im- provements. Them you know was the Whig principles, and them was the ones we had to fight agin. And I don't theink we can do any better than to stand on the same ground now. I've thought for some years past that all Dimocratic princi- ples might be reduced down to one plain simple principle, and that is, to fight aginv the Whigs. That is the safest and most important- principle in the whole Dinmocratic creed. And it is one that is easy to be understood, and easy to rally the party OUT OF THE SENATE. 369 upon. The Whigs may bother about as many principles as they are a mind to ; we no need to have but one. We may bring 'em all under one rule, and that is, to fight agin the Whigs. We are agin the Bank, and agin the Tariff, and agin Internal Improvements, because them are Whig doctrines. Now, let us follow out the same rule, and wherever the Whigs go for Abolition we must fight agin Abolition, wherever the Whigs go for slavery we must fight agin slavery. If we stick to this rule through thick and thin, and only stick ltogether, there's no danger ; we shall carry everything all afore us. Doctor Briggs. Well, Mr Chairman, I think there's a good deal of meaning in what you say. And I go for harmony; so I move we go according to your plan, and pick out a can- didate we can elect, and fix up the principles afterward ; for, jest as you say, what good will the principles do us if we don't elect our candidate? Now, Mr. Chairman, as you are Postmaster, and have all the papers at your office, and know how things get along, I move that you name over the candi- dates for the Presidency, and tell us how they stand, so we may see which is the strongest, and go in for him. Chairman. Well, as to that, all the States hasn't put up their candidates yet, but a g6od many of 'em has, and some of 'em I can name over. There's New York, she puts up Gov- ernor Marcy; and Pennsylvany puts up Mr. Buchanan; and Michigan puts up Gineral Cass; and Kentucky puts up Gin- eral Butler ; and Illinois puts up Judge Douglas; and Indiana puts up Gineral Lane ; and Texas puts up Gineral Houston. And I 'spose there may be more that I don't think of now, but these is some of the foremost ones., The Dimocratic Review, - printed in New York, that is thought to take the lead in-these - matters, divides these candidates into two classes, the old :: class and the young class; or, as some of the papers calls 'em, Old Fogies and Young America. The Old Fogy class is 16 - page: 370-371[View Page 370-371] 3 70 MY THRTY YEARS Governor Marcy, and Gineral Cass, and Mr. Buchanan, and Gineral Butler, and Gineral Houston. And the Young America class is Judge Douglas. And the Dimocratic Review goes in decidedly for this last class. Deacon Snow. I should like to have the opinion of our vetn- erable chairman about Judge Douglas, as to whether he's the right man for us, and whether we better go in for him along with the Dimocratic Review. Chairman. As to that, I can only say Judge. Douglas is a mere boy yet, only about forty years old, and some folks thinks he better tarry at Jericho till his beard is grown. There is good mettle in him; but let him wait twenty years longer, then maybe it will do to begin to talk about him. Deacon Snowe. That's correct. I move we pass over the Young America class, and taike up the Old Fogies. Chairman. Well, what say to Governor Marcy? Our Demo- cratic brethren will please to express their minds freely. In order to harmonize, we must know each other's opinions. Sargent Joel Downing. I've no doubt, Mr. Chairman, but what Governor- Marcy is a good sound sort of a Dimocrat, and has-done good service in the party, but I think that patch on his trouses has done the job for him so he'll never get over it. If we undertake to run him, we shall get lick'd, that's all. Chairman. Well, how will Mr. Buchanan do? He's a strong candidate, and lately got a majority in- the Dimo cratic Convention of Pennsylvaniy, in spite of Gineral Cass, who didn't get half so many votes as he did. Deacon Snow. The greatest thing I know agin Mr. Bu- chanan is, that I've heard he was once an old Federalist. If that's the case, I shouldn't like to vote for him ; and, moreover, if there's the least taint of Federalism about him, Mr. Ritchie will be sure to fight agin him, tooth and nail. So there wouldn't be no chance to elect him. OUT OF THE SENATE. 371 : Ch/irman. Well, there's Gineral Cass, how does he stand,? Is there any reason why he wouldn't run well? Sargent Joel Downing. Mr. Chairman, I don't want to be 'too particular, and I aint hard to please ; but Gineral Cass, I don't think, would run better than some one of the others. And, besides, -he's got off the -true Dimocratic platform, and wouldn't come under your rule, to fight agin the Whigs. For a year or two ago he and Gineral Foote and some others went off upon a slant and jined Webster and Clay, and got up the Compromise. -We can't call that fightin' the Whigs.' The Dimocrats have been a good deal wrathy about it; and it isn't but a little while ago I see a Dimocratic paper" in Richmond, Virginia, calls 'em " the miserable set of ragamuffins who got up the Union party." It wouldn't do to have a candidate that the Dimocratic papers can talk so about. It wouldn't produce the right sort of harmony in the ranks of the Dimocracy. I think, Mr. Chairman, we better go further, if we fare worse. Chairman. Well, gentlemen, then there's-Gineral Butler, of Kentucky. He's said to be a very safe, careful, sound Dimo- crat; one that it will be hard to pick any flaws in. What say to him? Bill John son [Mounting on a bench with two or three papers in his hand]. Mr. Chairmanl, General Butler is the worst candidate of the whole lut. Gincrally speaking, he isn't nowhere ; and when you do happen to find him, he isn't 'never in the right place. You remember, sir, at our last meeting, I described in my speecl-, the Butler bait as being all nicely rolled in meal and rubbed over with a little Van Buren oil. Well, sir, since then the meal has been shook off ;- the Van Buren oil cruldn't make it stick. It's all shook off, and shows nothing but a black slavery cat. A few weeks ago Mr. Cabell, of Florida, in Congress called Gineral Butler a "um candidate." That straitcned himl out, and showed his page: 372-373[View Page 372-373] 872 - MY THRTY YEARS color, and one of his friends in the Houn . read a letter from him that showed he went the whole hog in favor of the " rag amuffins' compromise." Sir, I hold that letter in my hand, and in it Gineral Butler preaches about the compromise like a Methodist minister. 'He says: "It is as though a great z1 (up j I;u' ' f si' ' BILL JOHNSON ADDRESSING THE CONVENTION. national altar had been erected in our midst, on which every lover of our common country is invited to lay his offering of peace, and to offer up his prayers for the perpetuity of the Union and the continuance of the inestimable blessings which we enjoy under its protection." Sir; that language shows OUT OF THE SENATE. .3 3 . that he isn't fit for President; it's enough to turn the whole' Dimocracy agin him. The great Dimocratic paper in New York, the Evening Post, that was in favor of him awhile ago, now says "We cannot congratulate him on the skill with which he is playing his game for the Presidency." And sir, I have in my hand the Dimocratic Review, the great organ of our party, and that shows Gineral Butler up in his true colors. It says he isn't nothing nor nobody; nothing but " a mere beaten horse." It says the country might be lost "before Gineral Butler could get an idea into his head, or a word out of it." The Review says: "From his almost total lifelessness in public affairs, it was denied, - at the last Presidential election, even in his own neighborhood, that he was a Democrat at all. * * * * And General Butler went to the polls in 1848 and voted for himself, to prove his own Democracy." . On the whale,'the Review says : We declare him made up of feeble negativeds/ Mr. Chair- man, I move we skip Gineral Butler, and take up the next. Deacon Snow. I won't pretend to saywe can do anything with Gineral Butler; may be he is out of the question. But there is some reason to think it is possible -the Dimocratic Review hasn't exactly done him justice. I like to see fair play all round. Mr. Breckenridge, a representative in Con- gress from Kentucky, made a speech on the Presiden/cy a few days ago-the fourth of this month, if I mistake not-- and he declares the Dimocratic Review is " fullof gross rnis- representation." I will read, with your leave, Mr. Chairman, one extract from his speech: "There was a gentleman, full of taleft, full of activity, a particular partisan and friend-as he had a right to be-of a particular gentleman mentioned in connection with the Presidency. That gentleman went to the State of Kentucky upon' a political pilgrimage last fall, the object of which was, I suppose, to drive General Butler page: 374-375[View Page 374-375] 374 MY ,THRTY YEARS from his own soil, to dishonor him at home, by fastening upon him a corrupt political intrigue. But he failed in his object; and came back and bought up the Democratic Review for a political partisan paper for the campaign; and, with no names at the mast-head, that Review is now pursuing a course as fatal to the Democratic party as it is false and un- fair." And, Mr. Chairman, the Washington Union, our great Dimocratic organ at the seat of Government, comes out agin the Democratic Review about as hard as Mr. Breckenridge. Jest hear what it says: "And last, but not least, among the numerous organs which create dissention and promote dis- cord, is the Democratic Review. This periodical, once so elevated in its objects, descends to the level of mere faction,. and opens its batteries upon all the prominent members of the Democratic party who happen not to suit the taste of the editor." The Union paper goes on to give the Democratic Review a good drubbing. But as Gineral Butler is such a disputed candidate, perhaps we better pass along to the next. Chairman. Well, there's the old hero of San Jacinto left, Gineral Houston, of Texas; what say you to him? He's said to be a great favorite with the Dinmocracy, and has a good deal of the grain of Old Hickory about him. What's the reason we can't all harmonize upon him? Solomon Jones (Trader at the upper corner). Mr. Chairman, old Sam Houston's hoss can be curried in short order, I can tell ye. The fact is, he's been all over the country, giving temperance lectures and making temperance speeches, and I solemnly swear he never shall have my vote as long as there's any strength in brandy. [Great sensation. Deacon Snow called the speakerto order.] Chairman. Well, gentlemen, we've been through all the foremost candidates, and there seems to be difficulties all round. I would call upon our respected delegate to Baltimore, ! OCT OF THE SENATE. 3X5; Major Downing, who has had a good deal of experience in political matters, to give us his views. Now, he has seen the proceedings this evening, and heard the Dimocracy of Down- ingville express their sentiments. I would ask him what course he will feel it his duty to take when he gets into the Baltimore Convention? AMajwor Jack Downing. Mr. Chairman and fellow-Democrats, after returning you my sincere thanks for the honor you have conferred upon me this evening, I beg leave to state, that from the instructions which I seem to get from this meeting to-night, and the light I now have on the subject, I should feel bound to propose to the Convention to take a gineral vote whether they will have a candidate from the Old Fogy class or the'Young America class. If they decide in favor of the Old Fogies, I should move that Governor Marcy, and Mr. Buchanan, and Gineral Cass, and Gineral Butler, and Gineral Houston, be put into a hat and shook up, and then the Presi- dent of the Convention draw one of 'em out; and whichever come out first, the Convention should unanimously agree to run him, and ask no questions. But if they should decide in favor of the Young America class, I should move to put Judge Douglas into the hat, and shake him up, and draw him out, and agree to run him at all hazards. [Here three cheers were given for Major Downing.] Chairman. Gentlemen and feller-Dimocrats, if it be your minds that our delegate, Major Downing, be instructed to follow his own instructions, please to say aye. [The question was carried by a unanimous and very loud vote. And after three more cheers for the harmony of the Democracy, the meeting adjourned.] Copy of the Secretary's minutes, examined and approved for the press by MAJOR JACK -DOWNING. page: 376-377[View Page 376-377] 836' MY THRTY YEARS LETTER LXX. THE MAJOR GIVES UNCLE JOSHUA A FULL ACCOUNT 'OF THE SEVERE TUG THEY HAD AT BALTIMORE TO NOMNATE A CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT. BALTIMORE, Saturday night, June 5, 1852. To Joshua Dowzning, Esq., Postmaster, DouowntilggvUe, - State of Maine. DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :-The job is done, and it's been about the toughest week's work that ever I did. I've sweat like a, tiger all the week, and I'm as hungry as a bear; not but what there's been vittles enough, plenty of it, and good too, and a plenty of liquor too, more than the Maine liquor law could upset and spill in six months; but the trouble is, we had so much to do we couldn't get time to eat. I guess I've made out to ketch a lunch of a few mouthfuls about twice a day, and got a chance to sleep, upon an average, about two hours a night. After I've writ this letter to you, I mean to turn in and sleep over till Monday, and then streak it home and help get; up the mass-meeting to ratify the nomination. The ratification of Downingville must be a roarer-you better be getting things ready for it till I come. I wish I could give you some idea of the week's work we have had here. Pve worked in the logging swamp, and know what'tis to handle logs, and pile 'em on the bank, aud roll 'em into the river; and I've worked on burnt fields in clearing up, and know what 'tis to chop and pile from Monday morning till Saturday night; but, I declare to man, this has been the toughest week of log-rolling I ever see. But I don't begrudge the work a bit, we've made such a nice job of it, and saved the country. We've put life into the Democratic party again, OUT OF THE SENATE. 3 )1 that we thought last fall was dead as a door-nail. We've killed off Abolition; we've choked to death Secession, and gin Freesoil the fits; and I expect we've thunderstruck Whiggery so that it'll never get-over it. We've got the Democratic party fairly on its legs'again, standing on the good old platform that Gineral Jackson left it on ; that is, agin thbe Bank, agin the Tariff, and agin Internal Improve- ments ; and now we've nothing to do but go ahead. But I must tell you something about the duins. I couldn't get in as one of the regular delegates from Maine, because the President said my name wasn't on the list. But as soon as I had told him I was the delegate from Downingville, he took me by the hand, and says he, "All right, Major Down- ing, I'm very glad to see you here ; you can come in as super- numerary, and you can do a great deal more good than if you was a regular delegate, for you can go round quietly among all the delegates, and help to make 'em harmonize. There's a great deal of that work to be done before we can get along, and I don't know of anybody who can do more in that line than you. In fact, Major, if you hadn't been sent as a dele- gate from Downingville, you would readily be admitted to take part in the proceedings of the Convention, out of respect for the great services that you rendered Gineral Jackson in the times that tried the souls of Democrats." So I went right in and took hold, -and went to work. There was an awful jam; it seemed almost impossible to do anything. But I off coat, and elbowed my way right through 'em, from one end of the hall to t'other; and I pretty soon got the swing of it, so I could tell where to pull and where to push, and where to put under the hand-spikes and lift. And when the mem- bers got up to make speeches, and got to talking too much, or talking the wrong way, I knew jest wlien to take hold of their coat-tails, and pull 'em down on to their seats, And : 16* ,-? page: 378-379[View Page 378-379] 318 MY THRTY YEARS sometimes I had to go into the gallery, too, to keep the people straight up there ; and in spite of all I could do, they would sometimes hoorah and hiss in the wrong place. So you may judge I've had my hands fiull all the week. But I was deter- mined to have a nomination, if I worked my hands off up to my elbows. It was very hard to get a nomination this time, and if I hadn't been here, though I say it myself, I don't be- lieve they would a got one at all. The first real hard piece of sledding we come across was the platform business-that is to say, the question whether we should go to work, and make a platform first, or take right hold and nominate first. It was a knotty question, and seemed to bother some of the members a good deal. Mr. Nabers, and -Mr. Wise, and some others, insisted upon it that we should begin at the foundation, and make a platform first for the Democratic party to stand on, and then make a candidate to fit to it. No work would ever stand well unless you begin at -the bottom and lay a good foundation first. Here's a dozen parties here, every one fighting for their particular candidate, and each one hoping to get the nomination. As long as that hope lasts it will hold 'em all together, and we can make 'em all work to help'build up a platform. But the moment one gets the nomination, the rest will fly off in a tangent; there will be no more working on a platform, and your candidate will be left standing on nothing. But Mr. Soule, of Louisiana, and Governor Floyd, of Virginny, rowed as hard t'other way. They declared we never could make a platform first. If we undertook to go to work upon it now, every one of the dozen parties would be pulling and hauling agin each other, and each one hewing -and cutting and carving to make the plat- form to suit his own candidate. In that way we never could make a platform if we should work from the first of June to the end of time, The fact is, the platform must be made for OUT OF THE SENATE. 3, 9 the country; that is,. for the Democratic party, and not for a candidate. As soonfas the candidate is ketched and haltered, and tied to a stump, we can all set down calmly and work together, and make a platform to suit the whole Democracy. The dispute went on pretty high nearly all day, and was got over at last by a sort of compromise to have the platform and the nomination both going on together. So a committee bf one from each State was appointed to go to work building the platform whilethe Convention went on to nominate ; then, as soon as the candidate was nominated, the platform could be all ready to set him right on to it. Then come the nominating, and that was all an up-hill bus- iness for about three days and two or three nights. It was found on the first pull that the Old Fogies wasa good deal too strong for Young kAmerica, and if there ha ltheen so many Old Fogies in the field we, should a got a candi te the first haul. Gineral Cass and Mr. Buchanan each. started with a very smart team. Mr. Cass was a little ahead, and he kept the lead for about twenty pulls, and we thought by sticking to him like wax we might be able to get him over the hill. But his team begun to lag after ten or a dozen pulls, and now, at the twentieth pull, it seemed to be slowly backing down hill, and the Buchanan team struggled up and got ahead. Then we thought we better hitch on to Buchanan, and may be we might fetch him over the hill. We spurred up-for a few pulls pretty well, but didn't get near to the top before the Buchanan team got stuck, and then begun to back down hill, and all we could do we couldn't start' it ahead again. But the Cass team, which had backed almost down to the bottom of the hill, after resting and breathing a little, now took a fresh start to come up. At that we hitched on again and de- termined if possible to shove him over this time. We whipped, and spurred, and pulled, and pushed, and hollered, page: 380 (Illustration) -381[View Page 380 (Illustration) -381] OUT OF THE SENATE. 381 and screamed, and the team hauled well. The old ox bows creaked, and we begun to think we should reach the top. But when we got about two-thirds the way up, the team got stuck agin ; and though it took eight or ten smart pulls after this, it didn't get any higher, but every time backed down a little. It was pretty clear after this that it was gone goose with the Old Fogies. We hadn't no hopes of 'em any longer. If the Cass and the Buchanan teams could a been hitched together, they would a walked over the hill as easy as a cat could lick her ear.' But there was so much quarrelfing among the drivers that this couldn't be done. Every driver was proud of his own team, and would stick to it and have nothing to do with t'other. The Virginny delegation went out a good many times to consider of it and make up their minds,: and every time they come in they marched right up and took their stand by the Buchanan team. They stuck to that team: with- out flinching for thirty-three steady pulls; and for the lastzten or fifteen pulls I couldn't think of nothing else but "old- Vir-' ginny never tire." But there was a good many others stuck it out full as long, and some a good deal longer than old Vir- ginny, before they gin up.- W-e trie] a few pulls with the Marcy team and a few with the Butler team, but it was, no go. We became satisfied there wasn't an Old Fogy in the field who could ever reach the top of the bill.- We begun to look round now to see how Young America was getting along. The Douglas team was made up mostly of young steers; : and it was a pretty smart team, well trained, and pulled well. But it wasn't equal to the Old Fogies for a heavy pull; it hadn't so much bone, and sinew, and wind, and bottom. How- somever, it made a pretty good scratch of it, and-kept gaining gradually up the hill; so we thought we would take hold and give Young America a boost, and see if we couldn't get a \ . . . - page: 382-383[View Page 382-383] Lae-8 MY THRTY YEARS candidate that way. To tell the truth, we bugun to feel rather streaked for fear we shouldn't get a candidate at all, and felt willing to hitch on to most anything. But the best we could do with Young America, we couldn't get only about half way up the hill before the steers begun to back down agin, and we see 'twas no use, they couldn't come it. Well, there we was, all in a fix. We couldn't see no other chance ; we'd got to go without a President because we couldn't nomi- nate a candidate. One of the members actually fainted away here, and all of us felt a good deal womblecropt and down in the mouth. But " old Virginny never tire," and when we was all hitchin on round for the thirty-fifth pull, old Virginny marched into the field with a bran new team. Everybody stared, and cried out, "What team is that ? What team is that?" And when they heard the answer, "The Franklin Pierce team, of New Hampshire," they wouldn't- believe their own ears. But it was a fact, and Virginny drove that new team one pull all alone. Then one or two others hitched on with her and tried eight or ten steady pulls. All of us looked on and watched the working of that new team. At last folks begun to make up their minds that that was the team to pull and straighten out the Democratic traces, and with proper help it might be got over the hill. Old North Caroliner hitched -on, and Georgia hitched on, and Tennessee hitched on, and by-and-by there was a geneal race all over the field to see who should hitch on first. It didn't make no odds who, Old Hunk- ers and Barnburners, and Free Silers and Abolition, and Union and Secession, and State-Rights, and Old Fogies and Young America, all run helter skel'ter and hithed on to the Pierce team. That team, I tell ye, went up the hill like smoke. Some of the States run till they was almost out of breath for fear they shouldn't hitch on before the team got to the top of the hill. But they all made out to hook on, and every State was " in at the death," and ready to jine in the general hoorah. After this, we hadn't no more difficulty; everything went as regular as clock-work. The master told us we had read and spelt well, and we might all go out till four o'clock. So we went out and took a little bit of a spree, and then come - in and took hold and worked jest like brothers, and hauled Mr. King right up to the top of the hill in two pulls, and made him Vice-President. Then the committee brought in the new platform, and we all danced on it. In the crowd and conifusion we couldn't see what it was made of ; but we was told it went agin the Bank, and agin the Tariff, and agin Internal Improvements, and was a first-rate platform ; so we all jumped on, and said it couldn't be no better. P. S.--'ve telegraphed to Gineral Pierce to save the Down- ingville Post-Office for you; so you may feel easy on that a score. I remain your loving nephew, MA JOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXXI. SHOWING HOW THE MAJOR PERSUADED UNCLE JOSHUA TO TAKE HOLD s AND HELP ELECr GENERAL :PIERCE TO THE PRESIDENCY, AND HOW DOWNINGVILLE RATIFIED THE NOMNATION. -- . DOWNINGVILLE, Away Down East, , In the State of Maine, July 20, 1852. MR. GALES AND SEATON- MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS :-We've made out to ratify at last'; but it was about as hard a job as it was for the Baltimore Convention to nominate. And I'm afraid the-worst on't ain't 4: f page: 384-385[View Page 384-385] 384 rY THRTY YEARS over yet; for Uncle Joshua shakes his head and says to me, in a low tone, so the rest shan't hear, "Between you and me, Major, the 'lection will be a harder job still." I put great faith in Uncle Joshua's feelins. He's a regular political weather-glass, and can always\ell whether we are going to have it fair or foul a good ways ahead. So when'he shakes his head, I naterally look out for a tough spell of weather. When I got home from Baltimore, says I, "Well, Uncle Joshua, you got my letter in the Intelligencer, didn't you?" And says he, "Yes." "Well, didn't we do that business up well?" says I. "I don't know about that," said Uncle Joshua; "I have my doubts about it." "Why, don't you think," says I, " the nomination of Gineral Pierce will put the Democratic party on its legs again, and give it a fine start?" Uncle Joshua looked up to me kind of quizical, and says he, "It has gin the party a pretty considerable of a start already, it come so unexpected." And then he sot as much as two minutes drumming his finger on the table, and didn't say nothin'. Ahd then he looked up again, and says he, "Major, who is General Pzerce?"It ain't afictious name, is it?" "Why, Uncle Joshua," says I, "how you talk I It is Gineral Franklin Pierce, of New Hampshire." "Gineral Franklin Pierce, of New Hampshire, is it?" says he. "Well, now, 3a1jor, are you sure there is such a person, or did somebody play a hoax on the"Baltimore Convention?" "Yes," says I, "Uncle, I'm as sure of it as I am that there is such a person as Uncle Joshua Downing. To make all sure of it and no mistake, I come through New Hampshire, and went to Concord, where they said he lived, and inquired all about it. The neighbors there all knew him perfectly well, OUT OF T1iE S NAT'r OO and showed me the house he lives in. He wasn't at home, or I should a seen him myself, and should got his promise to keep the Downingville Post-Office for you. But you needn't be afraid but what you'll have it, for I sent a telegraph to him from Baltimore, as soon as he was nominated, to keep it for you." Here I see by the looks of Uncle Joshua's eyes that he begun to get hold of some new ideas. Says he, "Well, Major, it is a fact, then, is it, that he was nominated in real- earnest, and 'twasn't no joke?" "Upon my word and honor," says I, "there isn't a particle of joke about it-it was all done in real arnest." "Well, then, if you've- really got a candidate," says Uncle Joshua, "I should like to know something about him. Does he belong to the Old Fogy class or Young America class?" "I guess about half and half," says I, ." and he'll be all the stronger for that, because he can draw votes on both sides." "After all," says he, "I'm afraid it's a bad nomination. Them old pillars of the Democratic party, Gineral Cass, and Mr. Buchanan, and Governor Marcy, and Gineral -Houston, and the rest, will feel so insulted and mortified at being pushed aside for strangers to take the lead, that they'll all be agin the nomination, and their friends, too, and that'll up- set the whole kettle of fish." "Don't you never fear that, Uncle Joshua," says I; "them old pillars that you speak of are all very much tickled with the nomination. Ye see, it broke the nose of Young America, and they was delighted with it. As soon as the nomination was out of the mould, before it had time to cool, they all tele- graphed right to Baltimore- that nothin' in the world could have happened to suit 'em better; it was a most excellent nomination, and they felt under everlasting obligations to the Baltimore Convention. You needn't have no fears that they'll page: 386-387[View Page 386-387] 3$6 .[Y THRTY YEARS feel any coldness towards the nomination. They'll turn to and work for it like beavers." "Well, how is it," said Uncle Joshua, "about that boy can- didate for the Presidency that they call Young America? If his nose is knocked out of joint he'll of course oppose the nomination, tooth and nail." "There's where you are mistaken again, Uncle Joshua," says I. "On the contrary, he goes for it hotter than any of 'em; and he telegraphed back to Baltimore, as quick as lightning could carry it, that the nomination was jest the thing; it couldn't be no better. Ye see, he looks upon it in the light that it chokes off all the Old Fogies, and leaves the field clear for him next time. He thinks so highly of the nomination, and feels so patriotic about it, they say he is going to stump it through all the States, and make speeches in favor of Gineral Pierce's election. You may depend upon it, Uncle Joshua, we've got a very strong nomination-one that'll carry all afore it-and everybody is delighted with it, and everybodys going to go for it. I didn't expect you to hold back a moment. I thought you would have things all cut and dried for a rousin' ratification rneeting by the time I got home" "Well, you know, Major," said Uncle Joshua, "I always follow Colonel Crockett's rule, and never go ahead till I know I'm right. How foolish we should look to call a ratification meeting here in Downingville, and be voted right plump down. You know the Free-Soilers are very strong among us,; they are strong in all the Northern States. And you know the Baltimore Convention fixed up a platform to stand on, that's all in favor of the Compromise and the Fugitive law, and is dead set agin the Free-Soilers. Now, Major, you must have more understanding than to think the Free-Soilers will ever swallow that platform; and if they don't, we are dished." "You are wrong again, Uncle Joshua," says I, "for the biggest Free-Soiler in all America swallowed it right down, and didn't make a wry face about it." "Who do you mean?" says he. "I mean Mr. John Van Buren," says I. "But you don't mean," says Uncle Joshua, "that Mr. John Van Buren accepts this platform, and is willing to stand on it." "Yes I do, exactly so," says I, "for he got right up in Tammany Hall and made a speech about it; and he said he would go the nomination, and he'd stand the platform; at all events, he'd stand the platform for this election, anyhow. You needn't be at all afraid of the Free-Soilers, Uncle; they ain't so stiff as you think for, and they are as anxious to get the offices as anybody, and will work as hard for 'em. Now let us go to work and get up our ratification, and blow it out straight. The Democracy of the country expects Downing- ville to do its duty." "Well, Major," says Uncle. Joshua, "you've made out a better case thah I thought you could. I'm willing to take hold and-see what we can do. But I declare I can't help laughing when I think it's Gineral Franklin Pierce, of New Hampshire, that we've got to ratify. I wish we knew some- thing about him; something that we could make a little flus- teration about, and wake up the Democracy." "Good gracious, Uncle Joshua," says I, "have you been Postmaster of Downingville this twenty years, and always reading the papers, and don't know that Gineral Pierce was one of the heroes of 'the Mexican war?" At that, Uncle Joshua hopped out of his chair like a boy, and says he, "Major, is that a fact?" "Yes," says I, "'tis a fact. You know Mr. Polk sent me out there as a private ambassador to look after Gineral Scott page: 388-389[View Page 388-389] 888 MY THRTY YEARS and Mr. Trist. And Gineral Piercs was out there; I knew all about it, and about his getting wounded." "Good ]" says Uncle Joshua, snapping his fingers ; "that's lucky, then we've got something to go upon; something that the boys can hoorah about. And if we don't have too strong a team agin us we may carry the day yet. Who do you think the other party will put up?" "Well," says I, "it's pretty likely to be Mr. Webster or Mr. Fillmore, and they can't either of 'em hold a candle to Gineral Pierce." "Of course not," says Uncle Joshua, " if he was the hero of the Mexican war. I s'pose it was Gineral Scott's part of the war that he was in, because that's where you was. Which of the -battles did he fight the bravest in, and mow down most of the Mexicans? Did he help storm that Gibralta castle at Vera Cruz?" "No," says I, " that little matter was all over before Gin- eral Pierce got to Mexico." "Well, the great battle of Cerro Gordo come next," said Uncle Joshua; "I dare- say Gineral Pierce was foremost in marching up that bloody Bunker Hill and driving off Santa. Anna and his fifteen thousand troops." "I'm sure he would a been foremost, if he'd been there," says I, " but he hadn't got into the country yet, and Gineral Scott wouldn't wait for him. It seems as if -Gineral Scott is always in! a hurry when there is any fightin' to do, and won't wait for nobody." "Well, the next great battle, if I remember the newspapers. right," said Uncle qJoshua, " was Contrdras ; and after that came the bloody and hot times of Cherubusco, and the King's Mill, and Chepultepec, and marching into the City of Mexico. These was the battles, I s'pose, where Gineral Pierce fit like a lion, and became the hero of the Mexican war. But which OUT, OF THE SENATE. 889 battle did he shine the brlightest in, and cut down most of the enemy?" "The truth is," says I, "he got wounded at Contreras, and so wasn't able to take a part in them bloody affairs of Cheru- busco, King's Mill, and Chepultepec." "Then he was in the battle of Contreras," said Uncle Joshua, "and that can't be disputed?" "O yes," says I, " he certainly was in the first part of it, when they was getting the battle ready, for there's where lie got wounded." "Good," said Uncle Joshua, " he was in one "battle, and got wounded; that's enough to mak a handle of, anyhow. Where- alouts was his- wound?" "Well, he had several hurts," said I; "I believe in his foot and ancle,' and:other parts."- "Rifle balls?" said Uncle Joshua, very earnest. O no,nothing of that kind," says I., "What then; sword cuts? Or did the Mexicans stick their bayonets into hinm?"' "No, no; nothin' of that kind, nother," says I. "Then it must be grape qor bombshells," said-Uncle- Joshua, "how was it?" "No, no'tw none f the things, says I. "The fact was, when they was skirmishing round, getting ready for the battle, his horse fell down with him -a-nd lamed him very -bad." Uncle Joshua colored a little, and sot and thought. At last he put on one of his knowing looks, and says he, "Well, Major, a wound is a wound, and we can make a handle of it without being such fools as to go into all the particulars of how he came by it- I say let's go ahead and ratify Gin. eral Pierce, and who knows but what we can make- something out of this AMexican business?' Well, \Mr Gales and Seaton, the thing was done. We rati- * * page: 390-391[View Page 390-391] 390 MY THRTY YEARS' fled on the 21st of June, in the eveningl and it was a tall piece of business. When I begun, I meant to give you a full account of it, with some of the speeches and resolutions ; but I've made my preamble so long that I can't do it in this -1 THE DOWNINGVILLE TORCH-LIGHT PROCESSION. letter. We had a torch-light procession. Cousin Ephraim took his cart and oxen, and went into the woods-and got a whole load of birch-bark and pitch-pine knots, and all the boys in Downingville turned out and carried torches. The school- OUT OF THE SENATEE 391 house was illuminated with fifty candles., Uncle Joshua pre- sided, as usual. Banners were hung, round the room, with large letters, giving the names of all the great battles in Mexico; and the enthusiasm was immense. When we'd got about through, and was just winding up with three tremen- dous cheers for the "Hero of Mexico," a message came up to Uncle Joshua from the Post-Office, stating that the telegraph had just brought news that the Whig Convention at Balti- more had nominated Gineral Scott for President. It gin the whole Convention the cold shuggers in a minute. Uncle Joshua-looked very serious, and says he, "Feller-Democrats, to prevent any mistakes, I think you had better give them three last cheers over again, and put in the name of Gineral Pierce." So we did, and gin three rousin cheers for Gineral Franklin Pierce, of New Hampshire, the Hero of Mexico. Downingville is wide awake, and will do her duty in November. So I remain your old friend, MAJOR JACK, DOWNING. LETTER LXXtI. SHOWING HOW UNCLE JOSHUA AND THE MAJOR STUCK TO GENERAL PIERCE, AND HOW SARGENVT JOEL'S-HURRAHS FOR GENERAL SCOTT CAME NEAR LOSING THE ELECTION. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, Sept. 18, 1852. MR. GALES & SEATON-- MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS:-I :wish I had better news to write to you. I'm pesky afraid Gineral Scott is coming in. And, arter all, I don't know why I should feel so much afraid of it, especially on my own account, for I don't s'pose he's a very page: 392-393[View Page 392-393] 392 MY THRTY YEARS bad man. But I feel bad for Uncle Joshua. His whole heart is bound up in the Post-Office, and if he should lose it, I'm afraid it would almost be the death of him. He's had it now more than twenty years, and he's more fond of it because it was give to him by dear old Gineral Jackson. He loves it now like one of his own family ; and I think it would be about the hardest one of the-family for him to part with, unless 'tis Aunt Keziah. If he should lose ary one of 'em, that is, Aunt Keziah or the Post-Office, I know it would bre'ak his heart. And that's what makes me feel so bad at the turn things has took down this way in favor of Gineral Scott. If any way could be contrived to keep Uncle Joshua in the Post-Office, I wouldn't care a snap if Gineral Scott did come in. And I guess there's a good deal of the same sort of feelin' amongst a good many of the Democracy. I'll just give you a sample of it :- There's Cousin Sargent Joel, he can't live without hurrahing for somebody as much as two or three times a day. He got in a habit of it in Old Hickory's time, and be couldn't leave it off since. Two or three weeks ago Uncle Joshua and I was in the barn, planning a little about getting out the voters to the election, when all at once we heard somebody back of the barn holler, with all his might, "Hurrah for Gineral Scott." We both started and run round the corner of the barn as fast as we could, and who should we see there but Cousin Sargent Joel, standing on a stump, swinging his hat all alone, and hollering, at the very top of his voice, "Hurrah for Gineral Scott." Uncle Joshua looked as cross as thunder, and Cousin Joel colored a little as soon as he see us, but he swung his hat again, and sung out, once more,- "Hurrah for Gineral Scott, and I don't care who hears it" "What's that you say?" said UncGI Joshua. "Insay, hurrah for Gineral Scott, and I don't care who bears OUT OF THE SENATE. 393 - it," says Cousin Joel, putting -on his hat, and jumping off the stump. 4 Well, this is a pretty piece of business," said Uncle Joshua, "setting such examples as this to the neighbors. SARGENT JOEL HURRAHS FOR GENERAL SCOTT. There's many a word spoke in jest that's turned into arnest before it's done with; and you ought to be careful how you set such hurrahs agoin. If you once get 'em started there's no-knowing what'll be the end on't." page: 394-395[View Page 394-395] 394 - MY THRTY YEARS "I don't much care what'll be the end on't," said Cousin Joel. "Why, Joel, what do you mean?" said Uncle Joshua; 'iif you are going to' turn Whig, say so, and let us put you out of the synagogue at once, and be done with it. I want a plain, right up and down answer, are you going for Gineral Pierce or not? "I s'pose I shall," said Cousin Joel. "Then, why in the name of common sense don't you hurrah for him?" said Uncle Joshua, "and try and get up some enthusiasm. You ought to be ashamed to throw your hurrahs away on t'other side." "-Now, Uncle Joshua, I'll tell you what 'tis," said Sargent Joel, straightening himself up jest as he used to at the head of the company in Nullification times, says he, "I'll tell you what 'tis, Uncle Joshua, I'm willing to vote for Gineral Pierce to help you to keep the Post-Office, and I mean to ; but you needn't ask me to hurrah for him, for I can't stand no such tom-foolery as that. I've tried it, and it won't go, no how. It makes me feel so much like digging small potatoes and few in a hill. But when I get right hungry for a hurrah, I give it to Gineral Scott, and I find there's refreshment and nourish- ment in that, something like real meat; it makes me feel as it used to when we gin the loudest hurrahsfor Gineral Jackson." Uncle Joshua turned away, looking rather down in the mouth, and saying, "he didn't know what the world was coming to." As near as I can find out, there's a great many Dimocrats in this State, and other places too, that's in the same fix as Cousin Sargent Joel Downing; they've tried to hurrah for Gineral Pierce, and can't. Over to the raisin of Squire Jones' barn, 'tother day, 'arter they all got through, Squire Jones, who is a great Democrat, called out, "Now let us give three cheers for Gineral Pierce." As quick as a look, they all swung their hats, and about three-quarters of 'em sung as loud as they could holler, "Hurrah for Gineral Cass." At that, Squire Jones flew in a rage, and told 'em they was traitors to- the party, and no true Democrat would hurrah for anybody but Gineral Pierce. That touched the dander of the rest of 'em, and about twenty swung their hats and cried out lustily, "Hurrah for Gineral Scott," and asked Squire Jones if he liked that any better. -These things has kept' Uncle Joshua very uneasy along back, and before our State election, which came along last Monday, he got quite narvous; and he aint no better yet. We've been in quite a state of conboberation all the week, trying to find out how the election's gone, but it's a hard sum to work out. I went over this morning to help Uncle Joshua figure up. He was setting to the table with his spectacles on, and the papers spread all round him, and a pen in his hand, and a dark scowl on his brow. lHe was thinking so hard he didn't seem to know when I come in. Says Aunt Keziah, says she, "I'm dreadful glad you've come in, Major; your uncle will make himself sick working over them figures." Says I, "Well, Uncle Joshua, how are we coming out?" "I'm afraid we are coming out at the little end of the horn, Major," said Uncle Joshua, and he looked up over his specta- cles so pale and melancholy it made me feel bad. Says he, "I don't like the looks of it a bit; the State is on the back track again towards Whiggery, jest as 'twas when Harrison ; came in." "Oh, I guess not," says I, for I wanted to cheer him up as much as I could.- "The liquor law has played the mischief this election all round, and got things badly mixed up; but if we sift 'em out carefully we shall find the Democrats as strong as ever." Uncle Joshua shook his head. Says I, E a page: 396-397[View Page 396-397] 396 MY THRTY YEARS "Let us see the figures. Here's the returns from three hundred towns, all the State except some of the outskirts. Mr. Hub- bard and Mr. Chandler, the two Democratic candidats for Governor, has together more than fifty-eight thousand votes, and Mr. Crosby, the Whig candidate, has a little more than twenty-seven thousand. The Democratic vote is more than double the Whig vote. This don't look as though the State was going back to Whiggery." "That don't amount to nothin' at all," said Uncle Joshua; "a good many thousand of temperance Whigs voted for Hub- bard, and a good many rum Whigs voted for Chandler ; and when the Legislature comes to meet Crosby will stand jest as good a chance to be chose Governor as any one of 'em, and better too if the State goes over the dam, the 2d of Novem- ber, and you may depend it's drifting that way, or else I've forgot how to cipher. Jest look at the Legislature. Last year in the Senate there was about five Democrats to one Whig, and now the Whigs have elected fourteen Senators and the Democrats only sezven, leaving nine or ten-- no choice, or doubtful. 'And then the House aint much better. Last year we had a clear majority of more than thirty, and now it don't look as though we should have more than ten majority. And if the State goes for Scott, I believe the Legislature will go that way too, Governor and all." "But, may be, Uncle Joshua,?" says I, " the Whigs havn't gained so much as you think for, after all. It looks bad in the Legislature, I see, but it may be all owing to the rum business, as you say about the Governor." "No, no, it isn't that," said Uncle Joshua, with a heavy sigh; "you may depend upon it the State has got a Whig drift. The Congressmen tells the story, and there the rum business has nothing to do with it. In the last Congress we had five Democratic Representatives and the Whigs two. . . OUT OF THE -SENATE. 397 Well, now how is it? In the next Congress this State has six Representatives, and the Democrats have made out to elect three and the Whigs three. It's jest an even balance, and a few more of them foolish hurrahs for Gineral Scott will tip the State agin us." "Well, we must stir round," says I, " and try to stop this hurrah business, and may be we can save the State yet. If I ketch Sargent Joel at it again, I'll cashier him. If Democrats can't hurrah for Pierce they musn't be allowed to hurrah for- nobody. But, after all, Uncle, suppose we should lose this State, the nation is safe for the Democracy. You must remember we have a large majority of the States, and nigh two-thirds of the members of the last Congress." "Well," says he, " that don't prove whether we shall have two-thirds or one-third in the next Congress. If the States go on as they have begun, it will be pretty likely to be one-third. There's, only three States that has elected their Represnta- tives to the next Congress yet, and that is Maine, and Mis- souri, and Iowa. And only jest look at 'em. Three years ago they stood twelve Democrats and two Whigs, arid now they stand seven Democrats and six Whigs. How long will it take at that rate, to turn our two-thirds into one-third? I'm afraid there's a Whigh drift going over the country that'll swamp us. Sailors tell about the big tenth wave that rolls up and carries everything afore it, and I'm thinking it seems te be a good deal so in politics. There was a big tenth wave in 1840, and you remember what work it made. It looks a good deal as if there is another big tenth wave rolling up now, to swamp the Democracy and upset Congress. We've got to have trying times, Major. I don't know what'll become of the country if the Whigs get the upper hand." He said this with such a mournful expression that I see the tears come into Aunt Keziah's eyes. She's a good Christian woman, and page: 398-399[View Page 398-399] 398 , MY THRTY YEARS she laid her hand upon his shoulder, and says she, " Oh,- Mr. Downing, pray don't be so worried, but trust in Providence." And now, Mr. Gales and Seaton, if you can say anything to encourage us, or to relieve Uncle Joshua's anxious mind, you would do a great kindness to your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXXIII. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, Nov. 15, 1852. MR. GALES & SEATON- MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS :--I am as happy as happy can be, and Uncle Joshua is a great deal happier. And as for Aunt- Keziah, about the second day arter the election, when New York, Pennsylvania, and Ohio, came rolling on for Pierce and King, she was so completely overflowed with oceans of hap- piness, that she fell into conniption fits, and has had 'em, more or less, every day since. And as for Cousin Sargent Joel Downing, he don't hurrah for Gineral Scott no more; but ever since the election he hurrahs for Gineral Pierce, day and night, till he's got -so hoarse he can't speak above a whisper. You remember I told you in my last letter how Uncle Joshua and I found Sargent Joel, some time before the election, out behind the barn, standing on a stump, and swinging his hat and hollerin', "Hurrah for Gineral Scott," with all his might. Arter that he did it openly, and said he didn't care who heard it. And he kept it up till the day arter the election, when the telegraph wires brought in the thunder and lightnin' news that all creation had gone for Gineral Pierce, and then Cousin Joel chopt round quicker than you ever see a nor-wester set in arter a south-east storm. Cousin Joel is a cunning dog ; he knows on which side his bread is buttered, and you may de- !" OUT OF- THE SENATE. 399 pend he will be on hand in Washington next winter; and if Pennsylvania Avenue don't ring from one end to t'other with his hurrahs for Gineral Pierce, I won't guess agin. I don't know what Gineral Pierce will do for Cousin Joel when the time comes, but he will be bound to do something pretty handsome for him, for no man has hurrah'd louder and heartier for him than Cousin Joel has, especially since the election. And as for Uncle Joshua, he seems to be in kingdom-come. It does my heart good to look -at him, he seems to be so satis- fied. He says the good old Jackson times is coming back agin, and the Bank, and the Tariff, and Internal Improve- ments has got to stand from under, or else be swamped. "But," says I, "Uncle Joshua, we haint got no Bank now? so it can't stand from under, nor be swamped nother." "Well, that ain't nothing at all to the argument." says he. "Supposin' we had a Bank, it would have to stand from under, wouldn't it?" "Well, Uncle Joshua," says I, "you ask me as puzzlin' a question as Bill Johnson did t'other day." "What was that?" says he. "Well," says I, "you know Bill is always bantering every one he meets to swap watches. So he comes up to me t'other day, and says he, 'Major, how'll ye swap watches?' Says I, 'Mr. Johnson, I haint got no watch ' Says he, 'No matter for that; supposin' you had one, how would you swap? r Now, Uncle, if I had only had a watch, I could a told Bill how 1 would swap. And so if we only had a Bank, may be I could answer your question, too. For if it was a Whig Bank, I should say, pretty decidedly, it would have to stand from under, or be upset. But Gineral Jackson killed the Bank, and now Gineral Pierce has killed the Whig party. It has always been your doctrine, that the Democratic principle is to fight agin the Whigs. But now there ain't no Whig party, nor no page: 400-401[View Page 400-401] 400 MY THRTY YEAR-S Bank, I don't know, for my part, what Gineral Pierce is going to do; for of all the hard things in this world there ain't nothin' harder than to kick agin nothin'. And, Uncle, I shouldn't be at all surprised if Gineral Pierce should go to work now and build up a-new Bank ; and I don't know but I almost wish he would." Uncle Joshua rolled up his eyes, and says he, "Major, you aught to be the last man to say that arter working as hard as you did to help Gineral Jackson kill the old Bank monster." "I know that," shys I, "but circumstances alters cases. It is being a Whig Bank that makes a Bank bad, and does all the mischief. A Democratic- Bank might be a very good thing, and I hope Gineral Pierce will try the experiment. The Bank of England has worked well for more than a hun- dred years, and why shouldn't the Bank of America, if there wasn't no Whiggery mixed up with it? I hope Gineral Pierce will go in for a true Democratic National Bank." "Well, Major," said Uncle Joshua, "I s'pose you see deeper into statesmanship than I do, and I don't know but you're about right. I think Gineral Pierce aught to take you for one of his Cabinet, if he wants to get alone safe; and I think if you would sit down and write a letter to the Gineral, giving him some of your notions about things, it might be a help to him ; and I think, Major, it's your duty to do it." I couldn't help thinking about this last remark of Uncle Joshua all day, and finally I begun to feel as though 'twas my duty to write to the Gineral. But I see something in the papers about his going to Virginia, or somewhere off South, and I. don't know where my letter would find him. But I s'pose, Mr. Gales & Seaton, you keep the run of him, so I will inclose the letter to you, and get you to send it on. By so doing-you will much oblige your old friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE. :401 LETTER J IXXTV PRIVATE LETr'TEr TO GENERAL PIERCE. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, Nov. 16, 185'2. DEAR GINERAL :--I guess you little thought when we-was having that scratch in, Mexico, that it was going to make a President of you. But time and chance happens to all men, and why shouldn't luck come to you as well as anybody else? I didn't expect, when I lost dear old Gineral Jackson, that I should ever have a chance to write to another Gineral in the: President's chair President Polk was only a Colonel, and somehow it didn't seem half so natural for me to say " dear Colonel," as-it did to say " dear Gineral," Hhad been so used to it in Old Hickory's time. And I can't help thinking that nobody lower than Gineral ever aught to be President. But that's neither here nor there ; you are President, and have got to go ahead and make the best of it. And -as I had a good deal of experience in Gineral Jackson's time, and you are kind of young in Government matters, Hfelt it my duty to write to you and try to encourage you along, for I don't ex- pect you know what very darksome and trying times there is in going through the Presidency. The first- thing that is necessary is to keep a stiff upper lip. It was keepin' a stiff upper lip that carried Gineral Jackson through a- great many hard trials. There was so many hands to the bellows that blowed you into the Presidency that I'm afraid when they come to settle up accounts there'll be a squabble that will make more trouble for you than ever old Hickory had. When the old line Dimocrats, North and South, and the Hunkers, and the Barnburners, and the Eree-Soilers, and the States 1* :'-, page: 402-403[View Page 402-403] 402 MY THRTY YEARS Rights Dimocrats, and the Union Whigs, and the Seces- sionists, and the Carolina Nullifiers, and the Old Fogies, and Young America, all get you by the throat, and every one crying out "' pay me that thou owest," I almost tremble to think what will become of you, unless you have a good deal of the true old Hickory grit. You must put on the stiffest kind of upper lip- and take the responsibility, or it'll be gone - goose with you. You had better shake them all off, and advertise that you won't pay no debts of their contracting. You must remember that the Whig party is dead and buried, and you haven't got to fight agin that no more. And you must remember, too,-that the Whig party has left con- siderable valuable- property, and that the Dimocratic party is the natural heir to it. So you can take up the Bank, and the Tariff, and Internal Improvements, and such kind of notions, and use 'em quietly for the benefit of the great Dimocratic party, and say nothin' about it. Only you must take care to fix 'cm over into Dimocratic Bank, and Dimocratic Tariff, and Dimocratic Internal Improvements, and then nobody won't say a word agin 'em. Well, now, about the Cabinet. That is a ticklish 'kind of business, and I feel uneasy to know how you'll get along with it. Uncle Joshua thinks you'd better take one out of each party that went for -you, and give 'em all a fair chance. But,.you- can't have but seven members in the Cabinet, unless you conclude to have a Kitchen Cabinet too, and I don't suppose you'll do that, for they, ain't apt to work very well. Old Hickory himself got rather tired of his before 'twas over. -So if you haven't but seven members, there won't be enough to give one to each party, and them that's left to suck their fingers will always be biting their thumbs at you. And then you know the rule is, that the Cabinet should always be a unit, But I'm afraid if you ge t one in from each party it / 4Q03 OUT OF 'THE SENATE. will be a very quarrelsome kind of unit, and you will have no comfort of your life. And then, if you was to give the whole to one or two parties, you would of course have about a dozen parties up in arms agin you, and squalls and harry- canes blowing, from all quarters. Jest see how it would work. If you should pick out a sound, wise Old Fogy to take hold with you to help cook matters up, the Dimocratic Review would be down upon you like a thousand of brick, and black- guard you like a pick-pocket for trying to hobble along on the "mere beaten horse." And then, if you was to look t'other way and set Young America to the helm, the Old Fogies would be afraid some of the mad-caps would run us on to the breakers and send us all to the bottom. In thathcase, pretty- likely there'd be a greater unit out of the Cabinet than there was in it, and there would be danger of mutiny all round. So there you are. You seem to be in a snarl, any way you can fix it. - - Now, if you will take my advice, Gineral, you will shet your eyes, and stop your ears, and take the responsibility, and when they come pulling an hauling round you, jest say to the Dimocrats, and the Old Fogies, and Young America, and the Hunkers, and the Barnburners, and the Abolitionists, and the Secessionists, and the Nullifiers, that you don't know. none of 'em, and that you ain't their President, but you are the JPresident of these thirty-one Ulnited States, and you mean "to go for the whole or none." That is, I mean the whole of the United States that is fairly ours, and not the whole of crea- tion; for this last business is one that needs to be. looked. at and thought on considerable before going into it. I know some folks' say there is to be a great deal annexin' done during your administration. Now, I don't know what your" notions is on this subject, but if annexin! is to be the main BF siness of your term, the next question is, what is the best page: 404-405[View Page 404-405] 404 MY THRTY YEARS way to do it? Uncle Joshua always says, in nine cases out of ten it costs more to rob an orchard than it would to buy the apples. If that's true, maybe that fillisbusterin' wouldn't be the cheapest way to annex. But some folks have a great fancy for fillibusterin', let it cost what 'twill. If you should think of branching out strong that way, I don't s'pose you could do better than to take Kossuth for Secretary of State, for he is Governor of Hungary, you know, and could hitch that fine country right on to our team, without the trouble of any fillibusterin' about it. It could be done so quick the Russian Bear wouldn't hardly have time to growl. And then a small fillibusterin' army could bring in Cuba and Canada, and Mexico, and the rest as fast as we should know what to do with 'em. Good by, Gineral ; go ahead, and keep a stiff upper lip, and anything I can do for you jest let me know. So I remain your true friend, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXXV. PRIVATE DISPATCH, TO GO THROUGH THE ORGAN TO GENERAL PIERCE. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, July 22, 1853. MR. GALES & SEATON- MY DEAR OLD FRIENDS :-When I am in a dilemma I alwavs feel sure I shall be safe if I throw myself into your hands. And I am in a dilemma now, 'cause I've got to send a little private official dispatch to Gineral Pierce, and I can't find out what paper is the organ to send it through. I've been hunt- ing and hunting over the papers, from all parts of the country, that come to Uncle Joshua's Post-Office, to try to find out OUT OF THE SENATE. 405 what paper is Gineral Pierce's organ ; 'but the more I hunt the worse I am off, and the darker and more puzzlin' the question grows. Some of the papers says the Washington Union is the organ, and some says 'tisn't. Sometimes the Union comes out with a fust-rate Dimooratic leader, loaded down with true, solid Dimocratic principles, that goes into the ground clear up to the hub. Wal, then the papers says, " that's by authority ; the Union is the organ of the Administration, and no mistake; it's jest as clear as preachin'." Then the next thing, may be, it comes out with another Dimocratic leader, puffing the Dimocratic Government of Russia sky-high. Wal, then the papers goes into a flutter- ation about it, and says the Union isn't the organ of the Government; any more than a toad wants a tail, every bit and grain. But the Union says 'tis the organ,' and the New York Evenin' Post, and some of the rest of 'em, eenamost swears, up hill and down, that 'tisn't the organ. So there they have it; and how are we, away down East here, to tell which is what? And then some of the papers said the Republic was to be the organ, and was cut down near about one-half in size to suit the times; and some said a true-blue Dimocratic organ was going to be moved up from New Hampshire; and some said a bran new organ was going to be made right up out of whole cloth, and an editor was going to be brought up from New Hampshire to edit it. So what the upshot of the business is I can't find out. I'm most afraid the Gineral hasn't appointed any organ yet; and if he hasn't, that's very bad ; for the organ aught to be the very first appointment made. But I know the Gineral has had a very hard time about some of his appoint- ments, so I can't'so much blame him. So here you see was my bother that I was in; I had to send to the Gineral some- \ * i, 4 ' 1 t: page: 406-407 (Illustration) [View Page 406-407 (Illustration) ] 406 MY THRTY YEARS thing that aught to go through the organ, and I can't find the organ. Finally, arter consulting Uncle Joshua about it, he said I'd better write to you, for you would know as much about it as anybody, and if there was an organ you could send my dispatch to it, and if there wasn't, you could put it in the Intelligencer-and for his part, he always thought the Intelligencer was about as good as an organ to put anything into. So now, Mr. Gales & Seaton, if there isn't--no organ in Washington nor nowhere else in America, I shall have to depend on you to get my dispatch along to the Government the best way you can, and I'll try and do as much for you any time. To iGineral Pierce, President of America, and agoing to be (tkat is, if Gineral Cashing isn't mistaken) the founder of "Modern : Rome." DEAR GINRAL :-I'm afraid you've thought strange of it that I haint writ to you afore now, for so long time past ; but I couldn't, I've been so busy cruising round among the fisher- men down to New Brunswick, and Nova Scotia, and the Gulf of St. Lawrence, that I couldn't get no time to write, nor couldn't find no Post-Office to send it. Ye see, Gineral, I didn't accept your invitation to take a seat in your Cabinet, 'cause I'm one of them sort that can't bear setting a great deal. I can't stan' it without I'm up and knocking about pretty much every day; and I understood the Cabinet had to set nigh about half the time, so I told you I should a good deal rather have some foreign-appointment, where I could stir myself. And you told me the foreign appointments was pretty much all spoken for, twenty times over, but you would give me a commission as Minister-Gineral, and I might go round and look after the interests of the country wherever I thought j; - MAJOR DOWINGS VISIT TO THE FISHNG SMACKS. (See next page.) (4 0. (40FT) - page: 408-409[View Page 408-409] 408 MY THRTY YEARS best. Now that was jest what I liked; you couldn't a gin me no appointment that would suit me better. Wal, my first cruise, Gineral, has been away Down East, and a little beyond ; for I thought 'twas high time them fish- ermen of ourn down there was looked arter; I heard they was getting wrathy, and the Britishers was flockin' in there with their armed vessels agin, and there was pretty likely to be a muss if twan't seen to ; and I knew it would be a good cool place in this hot summer weather, so I sculled off. I went all along the coast, and boarded the fishermen, and talked with the skippers, and give 'em good advice. I'm sorry to say their backs is up pretty round. They swear they'll never stan' that straight line "firom headland to head- land," no way you can fix it. They say the codfish and the mackerel are a good deal thicker inside the line than they are out, and they are bound to go where there's the best fishin', let who will stan' in the way. Wal, Gineral, since most all our politicians and office-seekers is doing:the same thing, and setting of 'em the same example, I couldn't find it in my heart to blame 'etn much, for who is there among jem all, politicians and office-seekers, that stans much about any straight line from headland to headland when-,they think there is any better fishing t'other side of it? Howsever, I guess you may calculate the fishermen will remain quiet this summer, if they are allowed to fish where they are a mind to, and the British vessels don't-crowd 'ema too hard. But if they do, you must look out for a regular row, that'll stir the whole camp of Young America. I got home last week, and have been overhauling the newspapers, and having talks with Uncle Joshua, and larning how things is gitting on. I see that you and some of the Cabinet have been on to New York to see the openin' of the Crystil Palace, and had a good time. I'm glad to find your Administration OUT OF THE SENATE. 409 is getting on so swiminly, and that you've got such a fust-rate Cabinet round you. I like Mr. Marcy better, and better; he's such a prudent man and a fust-rate Dimocrat. I always heard he was prudent and savin', and wasn't ashamed to have his clothes mended as long as they was decent, before he would go into any extravagance to get new ones. And I'm right glad he's agoing to set sich a good example to the country by making our foreign Ministers and Consuls follow his prudent ways. His circular of the first of June has been worth a hundred dollars to me right off, to begin with. When i got home I says to Uncle Joshua, says I, "Uncle,- I want you to lend me a hundred dollars, and I'll give you an order on the President for it, to take it out of my salary; for I'm agoing to take a tower to Europe with my commission of Minister-Gin- oral, to see that England and France puts a stop to that Rus- sian war, and I've got to get a bran new rig for a court dress." Uncle Joshua laughed, and says he," Major, you can save yourself all that trouble and expense. I guess you hain't seen Mr. Marcy's circular. Our foreign Ministers and/ Con- suls. now have all got to wear the plainest home-spun clothes, jest as Dr. Franklin did when he was a Mfinister in the beginning of the government. The circular says, ' It is to be regretted that there was ever any departure in this respect from the example of Dr. Franklin.' And it goes on and lays down the rules about plain clothes in a most thorough Dimo- cratic manner. And the Union. newspaper-I don't know whether it's an organ or not, but it puts on airs and speaks as though it was talking by authority-and it says the Admin- istration is determined to 'exhibit the same progressive American spirit' in the clothing business that it does in its other foreign relations; and that ' it is time to restore the- strongly-marked republicanism ' of Dr. Franklin's clothes. So, Majorjyour clothes is all good enough now, and jest the right page: 410-411[View Page 410-411] MY THRTY YEARS sort. Only may be you better take with you my lonI drab surtout and my broad-brim hat, for perhaps they'd look a little more like Dr. Franklin than yourn does." And then Cousin Nabby spoke up, and says she, "Yes, Cousin Jack, and I've - .s ' DEMOCRATIC COTU^ME CARRIED TO THE EXTREME. got half a dozen pair of blue woolen stocki already knit for you ; so you'll be all fixed up nice and warm." Wal, now, Gineral, I feel a great deal relieved about this OUT 'OF ME SENATE. 4" dress business; it will save so much expense, and, besides, I shan't feel afraid now to go to any royal Court in Europe, and ,face the finest on 'ern. The fact is, Gineral, since Mr. Marcy's circular has sot me to thinkin' on this matter of dressin' for our Ministers, I don't know but it would be more Dimocratic and American to go a step beyond Dr. Franklin, and take the real aborigin style. There aint, to my mind, nothin' more becomin than a buffalo-robe or a handsome blanket, with the fine worked Indian leggins and moccasins; and then an American Minister would be knowed everywhere as soon as he was seed. They might paint or not, as they pleased, but it would be real American, and beat the Turks in pictureskness, and besides look Roman like too. Give my respects to Mr. Marcy, and hint this Indian notion to him. I am sure it would take like wild-fire. And, Gineral, you've got another real whaler. in your Cab. inet,- and that is Gineral Cushing, It seems to me, if that man lives, he's agoing to outstrip Gineral Jackson. I had no idea there was so much grit in him till- he made that speech t'other day at Newark, in the Jersies. Since Pve read that speech I feel all over like an old Roman. It seems as if I can see our country marching right up to the very tip-top of the world's-mountain and kicking all the rest of the nations down. to the bottom of the heep. That old Greke, that folks tell so much about, never poured out sich a grist of oratory in all his born days. I can't help copying a little piece of it -out of the newspapers into:my dispatch. Here 'tis: "There is a destiny to a Republic. There is a law of its existence as clearly and undeniably as there is a law of the existence of a human being, that he shall begin in youth, that - he shall grow in juvenescence, that he shall harden into man- hood, that in the plenitude of his manful strength he shall i overtop the nations around him. [Applause.] We are now '^ :"?., page: 412-413[View Page 412-413] "2 MY THRTY YEARS the men of the modern Rome. How was it with the old Rome. She conquered. She went on annexin' according to the law of her existence [applase], and so long as she pro- ceeded in the application of that law of her existence, no earthly power could withstand her progress. [Applause.] I say that was the destiny of ancient Rome, and it is the destiny of modern Rome. There can be no pause in our progress, except the pause of decay; when we cease to grow we shall begin to perish. [Applause.] I say, when we cease to grow we shall begin to perish ; for upon us as a republic is impressed, not a curse, (though it was a curse to him who thrust from his door the thirsting Saviour on his way to Calvary;) it was his curse that vengeance of God should pronounce over him as the perpetual sentence of his sin- march, march, march; for him there was no pause. I say, as on him was pronounced the curse, on us has been poured down the benediction, [applause;] for us that same Divine voice has said, March, march, march-onward, upward, so long as there remains a celestial hight in the infinite regions of greatness which it is possible for human power to scale." That speech came over Cousin Sargent Joel like a steak of lightning. He went right to work and scoured up his old fire-lock as -bright as a pewter-platter. And now, from mornin' till night, with his fire-lock on his shoulder, he marches about the house and round the barn in a military step, sayin' to himself as he goes, " March, march, march; we are the men of modern Rome I March, march; march; annexin' day is close at hand I March, march, march!" But, Gineral, I must be in a hurry, and be off on my tower before the countries is all annexed. So I subscribe myself in haste, your faithful friend and well wisher, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATE. 413 LETTER LXXVI. PRIVATE DISPATCH TO GINERAL PIERCE, TO GO THROUGH ONE OF THE ORGANS-THE UNION OR THE SENTINEL, OR THE STAR, OR ONE OF THE OTHER ORGANS-IF THEY'VE GOr AGOING YET. DOWNINGVILLE, State of Maine, Nov. 8, 1853. DEAR GINERAL :-I got back from my tower in Europe yes- terday, and found Uncle Joshua and Aunt Keziah, and Cousin Nabby, and Cousin Sargent Joel, all well; and I hope these few lines will find you enjoying the same blessing. I'm glad of one thing, and that is, that you ain't troubled so much about organs as you was when I went away. There wasn't any organ then, only the Union, and that was a disputed one, so I had to send my last dispatch to my old friends, Mr. Gales and Seaton, and get them to forward it to you the best way they could. But I understand now that organs is getting to be as plenty as blackberries, and that seems to be lucky about this time ; for, if what Uncle Joshua tells me is all true, it will need a good many of 'em to play tunes to suit all parties,. If you could manage to have an organ for each member of the Cabinet, it would be a great help; for then each one could play his own tune and no jarring, and harmony is what we need all round. Mr. Marcy needs an organ all to himself, to fire off his forty-four pounders at Austria and the rest of Europe, to keep matters straight over there. And Mr. Guthrie, I'm sure, needs an organ all to himself to manage his New York correspondence. And there's Gineral Cushing, he aught to have a' nice organ all to himself, that would play military tunes, so that everybody, as soon as they heard it, would feel as if they wanted to march. And Gineral Davis page: 414-415[View Page 414-415] "4 MY THRTY YEARS aught to hlave a military organ, too; but some say he and Gineral Cushing might get along very well with one organ between 'ern, and that Gineral Davis could play his variations on Mr. Guthrie's organ. And then the different " sections" of the party needs different organs, too. I never believed that the same tune would satisfy the "-Hards" and the "Softs" of New York: and from what Uncle Joshua tells me, it's jest so. He says the organ has been pouring out delightful strains of harmony all summer; but the more it poured 'em out, the greater was the discord between the Hards and the Softs, till finally it worked them to a pitch of phrenzy, and he says they are now fighting and pullin' caps like mad. That shows clearly to my mind that the different "sections" ought to all have their own organs, and I don't think there'll be any peace till they have. But about my tower in Europe I've a good deal to say, more than I can get into this dispatch, and some of it, I think, would work well into your message to Congress next month, if Ican get time to bring it, or send it on'to you in time. Ye see, as I had your commission of Minister-Gineral to go on my own hook wherever I pleased, and look after matters jest as I thought best, it gin me a capital chance to work to advantage. And Mr. Marcy's rules, too, about dress worked first-rate ; for when I thought it best to go it a little on the sly, I could jest put on my drab surtout and broad- brim hat, and sagaciate round amlong the whole biling of 'em, and they wouldn't mistrust who I was. So when I found which way the cat was going to jump, and thought it was best to head 'eam and bring 'em to a pint, I had nothing to do but to pull my commission out --of my pocket, and show it to 'em, and that did the business. T e fact is, Europe's -afraid of us. I think we are fast getting the -upper hand. There ain't another nation in all creation, without 'tis Russia, that OUT OF THE SENATE. 415 hardly dares to say her soul's her own, for fear we shall be down upon her, and take her soul away from her. And even Russia feels a little ticklish, for fear that, when she gets into her highfalutin with Turkey, and the rest of Europe goes to take sides, we shall turn tu and lick the whole scrape, and annex lem to our modern Rome. I see somebody has put out THE MAJOR IN COURT DRESS, a -book that proves, as clear as preachllin', that the United States is a modern Rome; so when Gineral Cushing said in his speech we must march, march, march, and do as old Rome did, he was talking by the book. About this war business in Europe, if there's anything to be larnt in diplomatic circles, and I've .sifted the whole of'em, page: 416-417[View Page 416-417] "6 Y. THRTY YEARS there's to be a tight scratch all round before it is over. The truth is, Russia is in real arnest after Turkey as ever a bear was to get into a corn-field. She clambered over into the field, like a great bear as she is, jest for the purpose of eating her way through from one end to t'other. But she intended to do it all in a peaceable, friendly way, march- ing cooly and slowly along, step by step, till she got down to the lower end of the field, and then she would swallow Constantinople just as quick as a cat could lick her ear, and poor Turkey never would -know what become of her. The Czar intended to do all this in a very friendly, quiet way, nibbling along at his leisure, and not have any fuss at all about it. But the foolish Sultan got frightened, and worked himself into a tantrum, and declared war, and told- Mr. Bear to clear out of his corn-field in fifteen days, or held set the dogs arter him. -Well, that made the Czar mad; and now he says clear the track, for he's agoing down to Constantinople, whether or no, let who will stand in the way, and there shan't be a Turk's head left anywhere, clear from Dan to Beersheba-that is, if the other nations will jest form a ring and see fair-play, and not interfere. But the Czar is a good deal afraid that England'and France will be for having a finger in the pie ; so he haas agreed with Austria and Prussia, who are on his side, to keep quiet and declare themselves neutral, and not stir an inch as long as England and France will keep quiet. But if they begin to meddle, then all hands to fall to, and have a regular scratch, and pulling caps all round. Well, now, England and France don't mean to keep quiet. They are watching Russia jest as narrow as ever a cat watched a mouse, and before Russia gets half way down to -Constantinople, there'll be a terrible fuss. The French rooster will crow, and the British lion will growl and shake his OUT OF THE SENATE. 4" mane ; and if the Russian bear don't get licked or scared, and turn tail to and run, but holds on and eats up one end of Turkey, then England and France will clap their heads together and eat up t'other end, just to keep it from spiling. Now, when all this rumpus gets to its highest pitch in Europe, and all the nations get at it pell-mell, it'll be jest the time for us to strike, and go to annexin', and carry out our manifest destiny in a handsome manner. What's the use of our nibbling about among small fry near home, and annexin' little patches here and there, such as Cuba, and little slices off of Mexico, when we might jest as well branch out and do somethin' splendid--somethin' that old Rome couldnit hold a candle to ; somethin' that Gineral Cushing himself could say was quite " up to the occasion?"Who wants to wait for our manifest destiny till one-half the present generation has died off? I say no; now's the time; we must strike when the - iron's hot. So, when the Czar and all his troops are away down South, peppering Turkey, let us whip round into the Baltic and annex St. Petersburg, and put a navy and an army - there that will command all Northern Europe. By that time England and France will get to quarreling with each other to see which will have Constantinople, and that will be the time for us to be down upon them like a thousand of brick. Take London, and then we shall have John Bull by the horns; take Paris, and that'll give us all the jining countries. Then sail up the Mediterranean, drive the English and French fleets all afore us, force our Way through the Darnin-needles, and get possession of that " golden horn " they tell about. Then, if I understand geography right, we shall have full sweep all over creation. What's to be done on t'other side, over the Pacific way, ain't much Commodore Perry has fairly got his wedge into, the oyster-shell of Japan, and that's half the battle. Just 18 page: 418-419[View Page 418-419] "8 MY THRTY YEARS send word to him to annex China on his way round, and on his route home pick up the islands along on the Pacific, which will be jest as easy as to pick up so many bird's eggs. And after we get through our manifest destiny, I don't see what there need to be to hinder our enjoying peace and quietness at home, and having a good time of it. 'We shall certainly then have enough for all hands, and no mistake ;- offices enough for all them that wants offices, and spoils enough for all them that's hungry for spoils. And then let every man of us "set his face like a flint as well against right-handed back-slidings as against left-handed defections, which may prejudice or embarrass the onward progress of the Republic." Then there needn't be no more quarreling between the Hards and the Softs about which gets the most, for there'll be enough for the whole biling lot of 'em. We aught to be going ahead -with this business as fast -as possible, for Uncle Joshua says the party has got into a ter- rible snarl, and nothing but a grand coop-da-tat can get 'em out of it. He says Collector Bronson, of New York, has lost his head, owing to a little misunderstanding between him and Mr. Guthrie. They both tried to see which could stand up the straightest on the Baltimore platform, and they both agreed that the platform was the rule, and everything aught to be squared up to it. Mr. Bronson was quite impartial, and Mr. Guthrie was a good deal more so. When Mr. Bron- son took his seat at the head of the Custom-House table, and all " sections" of the party come crowding and shuffling round to get the best places at the table and alongside the best dishes, he tried to give 'em all a fair chance ; but somehow he thought it was no more than right to help round first them that had always stood fair and square on the platform ; and if some of them that used to spit on it had to wait a little, it might do 'em good. But the spitters made a terrible fuss OUT OF THE SENATE. 419 about it, and kept up such a din in Mr. Guthrie's ears that he turned round and told Mr. Bronson, right up and down, that he musn't show no partiality. If a spitter wasn't catched spitting on the platform now, give him his regular meal. This touched Mr. Bronson a little, and he said he was able to do the honors of his own table, and he -would attend to the duties-of his office if Mr. Guthrie would his. Mr. Guthrie said that was rebellion, so he brought him to the block, and chopped his head off. Uncle Joshua says it is a very misfortunate business, and has thrown the whole party into a high fever. The fever rages the hardest in the " section " of the New York Hards, and looks as though it might prove fatal. But Gineral Cush- ing, who is very skillful in such matters, has put a blister plaster to the Massachusetts Softs, in hopes of drawing out the inflammation from the New York' Hards. But Uncle Joshua says he don't think the party is out of -danger yet. But as long as there's life there's hope; so let us all keep a stiff upper lip and go ahead. . Your faithful friend and Minister-Gineral, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. LETTER LXXVII. THE OSTEND CONGRESS-THE THREE S'S, SOULE, SICKLES, AND SAUN- DERS-PEABODY'S FOURTH OF JULY DINNER IN LONDON-DEMOCRACY IN ENGLAND, FRANCE, AND SPAIN. Letter of Instructions to President Pierce and Cabinet. OSTEND, October 28, 1854. DEAR GINERAL :-We are all prowlin' round here, and duing the best we can, though we haint made out to fetch matters to a head yet; but I guess we are in a pretty fair way for it. page: 420-421[View Page 420-421] 420 MY THRTY YEARS Our team's got grit enough, and, by jingo, they'll haul the load they hitch on to, or else somethin's got to give way. Mr. Buchanan and Mr. Mason isn't quite spry enough ; they are a little on the old fogy fashion, and not always ready to come up to the scratch; but with Mr. Sickles spurrin' up on one side, and Mr. Sanders spurrin' on t'other ride, and Mr. Souley ]rivin' up behind, we make out to get a pretty good pull out of 1hem sometimes. We've got things- so far ahead here that Mr. Sickles and Mr. Sanders thinks I better write a dispatch to you and the Cabinet to home and give you some instruc- tions how to go on. I'll tell you what 'tis, Gineral, (when I call you Gineral, I sometimes eenamost feel as if I was writin' to Gineral Jackson again ;) I say, Gineral, I'll tell you what 'tis, them three S's (Sickles, Sanders, and Souley) are the three smartest chaps that ever growed in North America. They make Europe stan' round, and no mistake. Mr. Souley holds old Spain between his thumb and finger, and whisks her about jest as he's * mind to, Queen and all; Mr. Sanders lays down the Democratic law to France, and stans a pretty fair chance to be chose President of the new French Republic after Napoleon goes out; and as for old John Bull, I'll be licked if I think the critter dares to stir an inch while Sickles holds him by the horns. I suppose you've seen them letters-how Mr. Sickles snubbed Peabody, the great merchant banker, about the 4th of July dinner. Capital, wasn't it? Ye see, Mr. Peabody gin a 4th of July dinner. He's always doing sich things or giving money away for somethin or other; for they say he's got money enough to buy a kingdom. Wall, he invited Mr. Sickles to come and jine the rest of us and have a good set down. But, ye see, Mr. Peabody didn't know how much patriotism and real Democratic grit there was stowed away O OUT OF, THE SENATE. 421 in Mr. Sickles' breast ; he had no idea o'nt; and that was the rock he split on. You'll hardly believe me, Gineral, when I say it, but it's a fact, Mr. Peabody had Englishmen there to help eat that dinner I It's a melancholy fact, but it's true. If he had had half a table full of cannibals we could all a stood it, and fit our way through; but Mr. Sickles couldn't stand Englishmen. He had too much Democratic blood in him for that. To mix up Democrats and Englishmen at the same table was awful. But that wasn't the worst of it. When Mr. Sickles got there he couldn't hardly believe hisown eyes ; for there was a portrait of the Queen hung right up in the same room with Gineral Washington - Wasn't that a stumper? No wonder Mr. Sickles' Democratic blood biled over. But that wasn't the worst of it. When they come to give the toasts, they toasted the Queen I The rest of the folks stood up to drink the toast, but Mr. Sickles .grit his teeth and sot down as hard as a thousand of brick ; and he felt so disgusted he couldn't eat another mouthful.- And when the music, to increase the insult, struck up "God save the Queen," Mr. Sickles took his hat and marched out. There was spunk that Young America aught to be proud ofA That Mr. Buchanan didn't take his hat and march out too only shows that he's an Old Fogy. We've held our Congress, and got things in a middling good train, though, as I said before, we haint brought matters quite to a head yet. We managed better than yiour Congress does. We didn't stop to make so many long-winded speeches, but talked right to the pint, and got through in a few days. The members chose me President of the Congress the first thing; for they said I was nearest akin to Gineral Jackson of any of 'em, and the honor belonged to me ; so I had to take the cheer. I returned thanks for the honor, of course, and then proceeded to business. I beginned by callin for the re- page: 422-423[View Page 422-423] 422 1 Y THRTY YEARS ports of the committees that had the business in hand afore we met. I called for the report on England first, out of respect to her being our venerable old mother. Mr. Sickles, who was the head of that committee, reported that John Bull was an obstinate Old Fogy, and he had found it very hard to make any impression upon him. The people all seemed to be tied to the Queen's apron strings, and didn't appear to care no ) MR. SICKLES WHIPPING DEMOCRACY INTO JOHN BULL. more about Democracy than a horse does about his grand father. Still he had faith to believe that they could be made to take it, and when the time comes he was ready to off coat and roll up his -sleeves and whip it into 'em. Cheers.] Upon the question of accepting Mr. Sickles' report Mr Buchanan rose and said he objected to the term Old Fogy; he never did like the term, and he thought it would do more hurt than good in the report, and he moved that it be struck OUT OF THE SENATE. 423 out. Mr. Sanders said no; that was the very cream of the report, and he objected to its being struck out. It was then put to vote, and Mr. Buchanan and Mr. Mason voted unani- mously to strike'it out, and the rest of us all voted to keep it in; so "Old Fogy" stands in the report by a strong majority. I then called for the report on France. Mr. Sanders made a long report; but the substance was, that the Democratic crop in France wasn't quite ripe enough to harvest. Napoleon had filled -the people's heads so full of the Eastern war and glory that they couldnft think of nothin' else but raising troops to go to the Black Sea, and give the Russians an all-fired thrashin' and storm the Malakoff, and blow all Sebastapol down about their ears. So it was no use, jest now, to try to light the fires of Democracy in France. "But," said Mr. Sanders,."there's a good time comin', boys--wait a little longer." [Cheers.] Mr. Sanders' report was unanimously accepted, -with a pro- viso that, while we had to wait a little longer, we shouldn't stop working, but keep stirring round and. trying to get up a muss somehow as soon as possible. I then called for the report on Spain. And here we all felt quite sure we should get something pretty nice. Mr. Souley rose, with fire in his eye and honey and thunder on his tongue. He reported that if there was any sich thing as getting sunbeams out of a cowcumber he could do it ; and he had come pesky near kindlin' the flame of Democracy from one end of Spain to tother. He had churned the cream of Spanish Democracy, and churned it well, and the butter begun to come and swim on the top of the buttermilk, and he thought for awhile the bisness was done; but when he looked into the churn again, to his amazement, the witchcraft of despot- ism had got the upper hand, and the butter was all meltin' page: 424-425[View Page 424-425] 4MY THRTY YEARS back again into the buttermilk. "But," says e, "as true a Jackso flogged the British at New Orleans I'll have a red hot horse-shoe before lon to put into 1that chuave, and thend- butter mus come." that Cheer, and s the ,. A MR. SOaLE CHURNING TH4E DEROCACy OF OLD SPMr. ,eral, how things is over here t much jest yet , but y-o may depend on it there is great times try to keep th M . 3narcy, and the rest, must hold on and ^e J ,I :;^^^ ^^^ OUT OF T}HE SENATE. 425 work for you to do before long ; and them matters and things that we don't send over any particular directions about, you and the Cabinet must try to get along with and manage accordin' to your best discretion. But you better be gettin' your forces ready as fast as possible, for we may call for 'em at any moment. You better enlist the old Downingville com- pany, and get Cousin Sargent Joel to take command of it. Get Mr. Marcy to plan out the right sort of uniform, and get my friend Cushing to address 'em and fill 'em full of grit and ginger, so they can't be held back, but will be ready, at a moment's warning, to "march," and carry Democracy all over Eurup, and Asha, and Afraky, and America. Postscript.-I don't know but the muss is begun, and we may have to send over by the next steamer for Sargent Joel and his- company to come on. The French Emperor has got frightened or mad about matters, I'don't know which, and has snubbed Mr. Souley, and forbid his settini a foot on his land. He turned him right out of the doors of France, and told him to go about his business somewhere else. This was when Mr. Souley was on his way home: to Spain from our Congress, which we held at Ostend ; for we was very careful not to hold it in France, nor Spain, nor England, so as not to stir up a muss with the Governments before it was time. But Napoleon has been foolish enough to put his foot in it, and now we've all agreed that he has got to knock under and back out, or smell thunder. In haste and some agitation, I remain your old friend and Minister-Gineral at large, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 18* page: 426-427 (Illustration) [View Page 426-427 (Illustration) ] 426 MY THRTY YEARS LETTER LXXV111. PRIVATE DISPATCHES TO GINERAL PIERCE-NOT TO BE GIVE UP TO CON- GRESS IF THEY CALL FOR IT. ABOARD THE FILLIBUSTER SCHOONER TWO POLLIES, Off the "Hole in the Wall," near the middle of March, I forget the day of the Month, 1855. DEAR GINERAL :-We are skuddin' round here, and holding on to the slack, waitin' for more help to come up, and you may depend on't Cuba's got to take it. We don't never give up the ship. A fast little clipper jest come along, going to Baltimore, and the skipper said he'd take my dispatches to you in three days. And you can send to me by the "skipper, your notions about things; for he's only going to stop long enough to wood up, and then he's coming right strait back to jine us. He made me -promise to hold on and not take Cuba till he comes, for 'he was, very earnest to be in at the death. That Cuba's a fine country. We've been having a glimpse at it once in awhile with our spy-glasses, through the "Hole in' the'Wall," and round the corners, and it's raly a fine country; 'twould do your heart good to look at it. And you shall have a chance before long, for it's got to come down; it's got to 'nuckle, and no mistake. I've got my commis- sion to go ahead from Mr. Buclanan, and Mr. Mason, and Mr. Souley. - And the nub of the whole thing is, we've got to take Cuba, " if we have the power ;" and I know we have, as Sally Giles said to her sweetheart. Says Sally, says she, "you shan't kiss me unless you are stronger than I am, and I know you be." THE'":'ONER 'TWO POI I' SCUDDING RO'/. ' CB page: 428-429[View Page 428-429] 428 MY THRTY YEARS Just before we come out, I see by the papers that Louis Napoleon was a notion of goin' to the Crimea to see Sevastopol fall, and so I thought maybe you might like to come out here and see us take Cuba. Now, if you du, jest say the word, and tell me in your letter what day you will be down on the pint of Florida, and I'll bear up with the Two Pollies and take you off. You mustn't feel hurt because I didn't come to Washington to see you before starting on this cruise; but the fact was, I hadn't time. Our country was in so much danger it wouldn't do to wait. Our Congress in Ostend went over the whole ground, and examined it carefully, and come to the conclusion that it was neck or nothing with us. We must have Cuba or our whole country would go to rack and ruin, and we agreed that " the Union can never enjoy respose nor possess reliable security as long as Cuba is- not embraced within its boundaries." I sent you a dispatch last fall about the duins of our Con- gress at Ostend, where we took up the affairs of England, and Prance, and Spain; but finally concluded we couldn't make anything out of that business yet, and should have to wait a little longer. Well, then them three S's-Souley, Sickles, and Sanders-said there was one thing we corld du ; we could take hold of that Cuba business ."nd finish it up brown. And, for fear that Louis Napoleon might have spies round us there at Ostend, we concluded it was best to hitch a little further off. So we went over to Ax-le-Shapple and finished up the business. The upshot was, we concluded we would -have Cuba by hook or by crook; and that Mr. Souley should go right back to old Spain and tell the Queen so. If she'd a mindlto give it up quietly and make no fuss about it, he might promise to give her somethin' pretty handsome ini the way of money; we 429 OUT OF THE SENATE. 4 9 ? didn't care nothin' about that, as we've got plenty of money to home. If She refused, and told Mr. Souley to mind his own business, and we shouldn't have Cuba no how, then we told him he mustn't be mealy-mouthed, nor mince matters, but pick a quarrel the best way he could and clear out. ! Well, Mr. Souley went backto Madrid with a stiff upper lip, and begun to try to dicker with the Queen's spokesman for a bargain, somethin' in this way: Souley. "Ohl, now I think of it, there's the little Island of Cuba over there near our coast; we'd like to have that little island, if it's all the same to you. I s'pose you've no objections; it isn't the least use in the world to you, and it might be some little account to us. So; if you say so, we'll jest mark Cuba down on the map of the United States.' Spokesman. "Not by a jug full, Mr, Souley; Cuba is the most valuable patch of ground we've got. Can't spare it no how." "So"le. "Oh, nonsense; it's no income at all to you, and nothin' but a bill of expense. It's so near to us we might - look after it, and maybe make somethin' out of it; but it's no more use to you than the fifth wheel to a coach. I guess we'll consider it ours." Spolesmana . "I guess you won't. I tell you we can't spare Cuba nhow. It's the pride of the Spanish kingdom, and the gem of the Queen's crown."' Souley. "Well, but, my dear sir, we wouldn't mind paying you quite a handsome sum for it; a hundred millions, if you say so. We won't scrimp about the price." Sokcesnta,. "There is no price to-it. Carry your hundred millions to some other market if you want to buy honor with it. I tell you the honor of old Spain has no price." Sodley. "But, my dear sir, you don't consider what 'a wolderfuldeal of help a million would be to you. You must page: 430-431[View Page 430-431] 430 MY THRTY YEARS remember you are getting a good deal behind hand. You've no income hardly, and you are a good deal in debt. Only look at it; a hundred millions will enable you to pay off your debts, and make internal improvements, and build railroads and telegraphs all over your country, so that you can spruce up and live comfortable, and get ahead in the world. Say the word, and the hundred millions is yours." Spokesman. Offer your hundred millions to some beggar who wants it. The -ancient and proud kingdom of Spain is no beggar, sir. I'll thank you, sir, not to insult me." Soulley. "I don't intend any insult, sir ; but I'll be frank and plain with you. The fact is, we must have that island. It is absolutely necessary for the safety and welfare of the United States. Our country can't get along without it." Spokesman. "That's your look out, not mine." Souley. '. Well, now, Mr. Spokesman, you know your people out there in Cuba have for a long time been insulting our folks, searching their vessels, and firing into their steamers, and sometimes ketching our people and shooting 'em, or putting 'em in dungeons. There's a long account of these things that you must settle right up, pint plank, or suffer the consequences. There's three hundred thousand dollars you've got to pay for stopping the steamer Black Warrior, and a great many other things as bad as that. These matters have got to be settled right up, or Cuba's got to stand in the gap." Spokesman. "Can't help that. If you've got any accounts to settle, we'll leave it out to a third party to say how we shall settle. We don't owe you a cent for the Black Warrior. She broke our laws, and we fined her six thousand dollars ;; and then we give back the fine after all, when we might at kept the vessel. And you are so ungrateful as not ta thank us for it." Souley. "I won't stan' this foolery no longer. Lea;ve it , OUT OF THE SENATE. 431 1 out I No, we know how to settle our own business best. j Now, sir, you've got to settle all our accounts right up, and fix things about Cuba, so we shan't never have any more trouble, or else give us up the island to manage- in our own way., Now, I'm agoin' to give you jest two weeks to think of this business! and give me your answer; and if it isn't settled by that time, I shall clear out and go home, and then you'll hear thunder! Good-by, sir." That Souley's a smart feller, Gineral. He talked right up to 'em, and wasn't afeared. Well, he waited till the two weeks was out, and no answer didn't come; and then he slat round and picked up his clothes, and locked up his trunks, and cleared out. Then he come over where we had been wait- ing for him, and told us how the business stood. He said old Spain refused to give up Cuba, and refused to settle, and he had got the quarrel in such a shape now., that we would carry it on any way to suit ourselves. "And now," said Mr. Souley, " what's to be done next?" Wal, says I, Mr -Souley, you've only jest got to look at the instructions drawn up by our Congress, at Ax-le-Shapple, , and signed by you, and Mr. Buchanan, and Mr. Mason, and you'll see the course is marked out as plain as A, B, C. Jest open the dockyment and read. -It says : "Cuba is as necessary to the North American Republic as any of its present members." "The Union can never enjoy repose, nor possess reliable se- curity as long as Cuba is not embraced within its boundaries." "But if Spain, deaf to the voice of her own interest, and actuated by stubborn pride and a false sense of honor, should refuse to sell Cuba to the United States "-what then? "Self-preservation is the first law of nature with States as well as with individuals." Matters and things being thus and so, " then, by every page: 432-433[View Page 432-433] law, human and divine, we shall be'justified in wresting Cuba from Spain, if we possess the power." There, says I, there's your chart, as plain as the nose on a man's face; and all we've got to do is to go ahead. So we all put our heads together to draw up a plan-of the cam- paign, and we wasn't long about it. It was finally concluded that Sanders should go and stir up the Southern division, head-quarters at New Orleans ; Sickles should take charge of the center wing, head-quarters at Washington, and a branch at New York; and I should go as fast as possible " Down East," head-quarters at Downingville, and fit out a naval force that would put Cuba through. And here I am, Gineral, and you may depend on't the work's got to be done. But now I must ask you, Gineral, what in thunder Mr. Marcy means by backin' and fillin' so. I have jest got some of the latest New York papers by an outer-bound vessel, and one of the first things I see is Mr. Marcy's letter to Mr. Souley, dated 13th of November, and it is so full of milk and water it makes me fairly sick. I was always a little afraid Marcy was an Old Fogy, but I did think he had a little more back-bone than he shows in this letter. He's no Christian, and he's vio- iated the Scripter, for he has put his hand to the plough and looked back. He seems now to be for smoothing over matters ; thinks maybe our country could manage some how or other to get along without Cuba; don't know but what old Spain means to do the thing that's about right after all; better dicker with her a little longer in a friendly kind of a way ; better not do anything to afront her ;- keep things quiet till Spain gets in the right mood, and then, if she won't sell us Cuba, perhaps she'll settle and pay up. Now, I tell you what 'tis, Gineral, our Eurup Cabinet don't swallow no sich milk and water stuff as that. What's got into Mr. Marcy ? Last yea' r he told Mr. Souley to demand three hundred thousand dollars for the Black Warrior, right down on the nail, and not stop to parley about it. But now he quivers and shakes one way and tother, like a leaf in the wind. I'm afraid Mr. Marcy is getting old. And there's poor old Uncle Joshua, Postmaster of Downingville, I find he's getting old and timersum too. When I got home to Downingville and told the family I was going to fit out the Two Pollies, and be off the next day to take Cuba, Uuncle Joshua was struck all of a heap. Says he, " Major, I beg of you not to go into any of that fillibustering business ; it's next akin to piracy ; and there's the neutrality laws dead agin you, too." " Oh, no," says I, " Uncle Joshua, I aint going to undertake any of your low fillibusterin'; I'm only jest going out to take Cuba-man-fashion, because our country can't get along without it, and self-preservation, you know, is the first law of nater, and because old Spain keeps insulting of us and won't pay up." " But don't you see, Major," says Uncle Joshua, " if you go to take Cuba, you are making war upon Spain ; and you can't do that according to the Constitution. Nobody in this country has any power to make war but Congress." " But you're mistaken there, Uncle Joshua," says I. " Didn't Mr. Polk make war upon Mexico ?" " No, by no, means," said Uncle Joshua. " If you look back and read the dockyments of them days, you will find it reads, ' Whereas war exsists between this country and' M[exico.' You see that war come itself. But you have no right to make war upon Spain or Cuba unless you get your authority from Cwnogrcss. That is according to the Consti- tution." - " Wal, uncle, I have got my authority from Congress," says I; " what more do you want ?" page: 434-435[View Page 434-435] 434 MY THRTY YEARS "Oh, no," says he; "Congress haint declared war, because it would be in the papers, and I should a seen it." "But I don't mean your lazy Old Fogy Congress to Wash- ington," says I; "I mean our Eurup Congress." And then I took the dockyment out of my pocket and showed it to him, signed by- Mr. Buchanan, and Mr.' Mason, and Mr. Souley. At first he was thunder-struck, and couldn't say nothin'. Then he fell back on the Constitution agin, jest as he always does, and said he didn't believe our Congress over there in Eurup was constitutional. Then he reached up to the shelf and took down the old Constitution, covered with morocco' leather, that Gineral Jackson sent him more than twenty years ago, and he put on his spectacles and looked it all over from beginning to end, and said he couldn't find nothin' about any Congress in Eurup. "But if you call your meeting over there in Eurup a Congress," says he, "I should like to know where you find your authority in the Constitution to 'make war upon Spain or to go fillibusterin' about Cuba." "Why, Uncle Joshua," says I, " we find it in that clause where it says ' I take the responsibility' " "There, l" said Cousin Sargent Joel, who had been listening all the time without saying a word; " there, father," says he, "I knew you would find the authority in the Constitution some- where. That's one of the amendments to the Constitution that was added by Gineral Jackson, you know, and therefore it mnust be right." Then Sargent Joel turned to me, and says he, "Major, I've been round and notified the whole company of the Downingville militia, and they are all ready, armed and equipped as the law directs, and will be aboard to-morrow at ten o'clock. They are full of grit, and ready to swallow Cuba alive." I haint got near through my story, Gineral, for I wanted to OUT OF THE SENATE. 435 tell you more about fitting out the Two Pollies, and about the crew, and the sogers, and the marines, and the hoss-marines, and the vige, but I shan't have room in this dispatch, and the little clipper that's waitin' for me to finish writing, has got a smart wind and wants to be off. If I don't see you standing on the pint of Floriday as we go by, I shall take it for granted PRESIDENT PIERCE ON THE POINT OF FLORIDA, HAILING THE "TWO POLLIES." that you have concluded not to go out to see us take Cuba ; but if I see a man standing there, and swinging his hat, I shall know it's you, and we'll bear right up with the Two Pollies and take you off. I remain your old friend; and Minister-Gineral at large, and Rear Commodore of the fillibuster fleet, "MAJOR JACK DOWNING. page: 436-437[View Page 436-437] 486 ,J THRTY YEARS LETTER TXXIX. ABOARD THE SCHOONER Two POLLIES, Sailin' round Cuba and up the Gulf, September, 1855. DEAR GINERAL JACKSON :- (There, what an awful mistake I've made I I meant DEAR GINERAL PIERCE; but my poor old brains has been runnin' a good deal to-day on that old and true friend of mine, Gineral Jackson, and I s'pose that made the word slip off my pen before I thought of it.) The truth is, Gineral Pierce, I don't feel satisfied with my treatment, to be left here alone all summer to bear the whole brunt of this fillibuster war, sailin' about in these hot climates, where we light our pipes by the sun without matches, and exposin' our lives all the time; and two out of our men has died with the yaller fever, and not a soul sent out to back me up, and help me-take Cuba-n-ot a single war-vessel, nor a steamer, nor a private fillibuster, nor even so much as Bill Johnson on a pine-log with a fowlin'-piece. What did you expect me to do? Was I to pitch into the Moro Castle alone? The whole English fleet-the greatest fleet in the world-was afraid to pitch into Cronstadt, up there in the Baltic. The Two Pollies is brave and sure fire, but I don't think it's hardly reasonable to match her alone agin the Moro, though I've sometimes almost swore I would do it, hit or miss, getting so out of patience waitin' all summer for re- enforcements. And sometimes I'd have a real time thinkin' of Gineral Jackson, and saying to myself, if Old Hickory was only at the helm-I don't mean the helm of the Two Pollies, but the helm of Government-I guess things wouldn't go on at this rate. There wouldn't be no backin' and fillin' then; it OUT OF THE SENATE. , 431 would be plain sailin', straight ahead, and everybody would know where they was goin' to fetch up. If Old Hickory put his foot down on fifty-four forty, it would be there, and you needn't look for it on forty-nine. If the Spanish folks had- a took the Black Warrior steamer under his Administration, and he had demanded three hundred thousand dollars to pay the damages and wipe out the insult, the money would have to be planked right down on the nail, or the hair would fly somewhere. And if he had fairly made up his mind, as our Congress did at Ostend and Ax-le-Shapple, that Cuba was as necessary to our Government as ary one of the States, and that we couldn't get along without it, and, therefore, "by every law, human and divine, we had the right to take it if we possessed the power," the whole business would a been done in three weeks, and Cuba marked down on the map of the United States. But a backin' and fillin' and wrgglin' policy never will fetch anything about; and I don't rally be- lieve we are so near having Cuba now as we was six months ago. If Mr. Buchanan had only been at home, I know he wouldn't have left the whole business on my hands alone so long with- out sending me help; but you have kept his hands tied all this time in London, so he couldn't do nothin'. And poor Mr. Mason, he's been sick at Paris, and he couldn't do nothin'. And Mr. Souley has had so many other fish to fry, he wouldn't do nothin'. And as for Sanders and Sickles, I hear they have gone off -to Russia, to see about setting up a new Democratic Republic there, or else annexin' Russia to the United States. They say there is no reason in the world why Russia shouldn't belong to us-there is such a good chance to run a telegraph wire across Beering's Straits. So there wasn't nobody left to back me up in this Cuba business but you and the Cabinet. And how page: 438-439 (Illustration) [View Page 438-439 (Illustration) ] 438 -MY THRTY YEARS have you and they done it? Yes, Mr. President, how have you done it? I must speak plain, for I have had my feelings a good many times badly worked up. I hope there hasn't been any treachery in your Cabinet, and no pullin' the rope over the roof of the house at both ends. But things haso looked very dark and foggy to me sometimes. You haint sent me no dispatches, and I've had to keep the run of things by the newspapers that I picked up here and there from vessels goin' back and forth. And when I see Commodore McCauley was coming out with a " force" suflicient to blow every Spanish cruiser to thunder, and knock the Moro into a cocked hat, we had a jolly time aboard the Two Pollies, I tell ye. We threw up our hats and hoorah'd about an hour right out strait. Wal, arter a week or two, when we got most tired of waitin' the fleet come along. I bore up under the Com- modore's lea and hailed him, and asked him where the Two Pollies should hitch on. As soon as he see it was me he was very polite ; but he said the Two Pollies better keep dark, and lay low a little while, till he went into Havana and recon- noitered round, and then he should know exactly what to do. So we waited patiently a week or two longer; and then I hailed a Penobscot sloop, Captain Gilman, an old acquaint- ance, who had been into Havana with a load of lumber, and was homeward bound with a cargo of molasses and sugar. Says I, "Gilman, did you see anything of Commodore McCauley?" - "See him? Yes, I see him every day," "Wal, what's he about all this time? Has be took the Moro, and the city, and the war vessels, without giving me a chance?" "No, I don't think he has took anything,"' said Gilman, "but the Captain-Gineral has took him." page: 440-441[View Page 440-441] "O MY THRTY YEARS My dander was right up, I tell ye. Says I, "you don't mean to say he has took our Commodore and shut him up in the Moro? If he has I'll go right in with the Two Pollies and blow the old thunder-jug into the ocean." "Oh, no," said Gilman, with a little puckery laff creeping round his eyes and mouth; "he's only took the Commodore into his - great fine carriage, and I see them most every day riding together, cheek by jowl, and having a jolly time of it." "Thunder!" says I. "Then somebody's been pulling at the wrong end of the rope, and I won't lay low any longer." So we up stakes and sot sail agin on our own hook, keeping an eye well to the windward. I felt cross, and told the hands to crack on all sail. I meant to be out of sight and hearing when the Commodore's fleet come out again, for I didn't know but he might take it into his head to enforce the neutrality laws, and I had no idea of being ketched in that trap. I felt sure there was a screw loose somewhere in the Cabinet, and I thought if I could only be in Washington half an hour I could find out where 'twas. But, as things was, there was no other way for me but to take the responsibility, and if I couldn't take Cuba, jest hold on to the slack till something turned up. Wal, it wasn't a great while before something did turn up that carried our hopes right up to the tip-top rung of the ladder. After scuddin' about a few weeks to keep out of sight of Commodore McCauley, for I had serious suspicions of him, I come back again along the northern side of Cuba, to see if I could pick up any more news. As good luck would have it, a Kennebec brig soon came along, homeward bound. I hailed her, and as soon as the Captain came on deck I see at once it was Captain Drummond, a first rate prying feller, and I knew in a moment if he had been in Cuba a week'be would know everything that was going on upon the island. OUT OF THE SENATE. 441 So I asked him to back his main topsail, and I'd come aboard. We went into the cabin, and he brought on a bottle of old Jamaky. We are both Maine-law folks at home, but out here we sometimes take a drop to keep off' the yaller fever. "Now, Captain Drummond," says I, "how does things stand in Cuba? I hear Commodore McCauley has turned traitor to the cause. Is liberty going to be crushed out there or not-? Or is there any chance yet for them poor fellers- that have been trying so long and so hard {o get their freedom?" - "Any chance, my dear Major?" says he. "Why, the chance never was better ; nor half so good before. The whole thing is cut and dried, and almost ready to blaze out with a bright- ness that will enable us. to spear fish at midnight along the- whole coast, from the Kennebec to the Mississippi." "Good! Give us your hand, old boy;" says I. "Now prove that, and I'll be your humble servant forever." "Well, it's true as preaching says he. "Our Government has got a first-rate agent on the island, overhauling the whole business, to see that everything is in the right train, so there shan't be no mistake and no chance to miss fire again. He keeps dark, and goes round among the leading patriots, and consults about the whole campaign. After he showed his dockyments, proving that he was an agent from our Govern- ment, -they didn't keep anything back, but told him the whole business-how the patriots were all ready to set up a free Government, and would very soon have everything- necessary for that purpose. They told him they had sent over more than half a million of dollars to their friends--the exiled patriots in the United States-to purchase such things as they might need in setting up their free Government, and a number of large steamers and other vessels were already chartered and paid for to bring them over; and more than all that, if they 19 page: 442-443[View Page 442-443] "2 MY THRTY YEARS should want any help, there was a great Gineral stood ready, with a brave little army all. enlisted, to come right over and put his shoulder to the wheel. That's the way the thing THE CREW OF THE TWO POLLIES CUTTING ON AND DOING JUST AS THEY PLEASE. stands now. The patriots are all right, and our Govern' ment's secret agent has been round and seen that they are all right. And now the Government at Washington is going to OUT OF THE SENATE. 443 look t'other way, over the-left shoulder, while the business is doing, so they shan't see anybody violating the neutrality laws." "That's capital," says I, "Captain Drummond, that's capi- tal, if that agent is all right. Who is he?" "Oh, he's a fine fellow ; he's got the Government docky- mentsin his pocket. His name, I think, is Davis. I don't know what Davis, but I believe he's from Mississippi." At that I hopt right up, and slapt my hands together so hard that Captain Drummond jumped half way across the cabin, for he thought I was going to pitch into him ; and says he, "What in nature, Major Downing, is the matter?" "Matter enough," says I. "I verily believe that agent is my old friend, Jeff. Davis, for he's from that part of the. country, antl he's jest the boy for it. He was out in Mexico with us, and was clear grit. If Jeff. Davis is in Cuba, tile thing is done, and no mistake about it." Upon that we took another drop of Jamaky, and Captain Drummond histed sail, and I went aboard the Two Pollies and told the boys they might crack on and hoorah as loud as they'd a mind to, for the business was all right, and the egg was most ready to be hatched. Finally, I felt-so happy, I told all hands they might have a holiday, and cut on and do jest what they liked. And they had a jolly time, I tell ye. I gave them an extra good dinner; and after dinner they sung songs most of the afternoon, and- some of 'em scoured the deck by cutting down double sluffle. They sung "Cap- tain Robb," Cousin Sargent Joel's favorite song, five times, in the tune of Yankee Doodle ; and every one aboard that could sing Yankee Doodle-soldiers, sailors, marines, and boss-marines-all jined in and roared it out well. Cousin Joel declared afterwards that before they got through he saw more than fifty dolphins shying round the vessel and listening. page: 444-445[View Page 444-445] "4 MY THRTY YEARS If you haven't seen that song, Mr. President, it is raily worth your readin'. So I think I'll send it to you, and here 'tis : CAPTAIN ROBB. AiR- Yankee Doodle. Says Captain Robb to Farmer- Cobb, "Your farm is very fine, sir; Please give me up your title-deeds, I claim it all as mine, sir." "Pray, how can it be thine?" says Cobb, "Pm sure I never sold it; 'Twas left me by my father, sir, I only aught to hold it.7' "Nay, Cobb, the march of destiny-- 'Tis strange you can't perceive it- Is sure to make it mine some day ; I solemnly believe it." "But have you not already got More land than you can till, sir? More rocks than ever you can blast, More weeds than you can kill, sir?" "Aye, Cobb, but something whispers me- A sort of inspiration-- That I've a right to every farm Not under cultivation. I'm of the ' Anglo-Saxon race,' A people known to fame, sir; But you, what right have you to land? - Who ever heard your name, sir? "I deem you, Cobb, a lazy lout, Poor, trodden down, and blind, sir, And if I take your useless land You aught to think it kind, sir! And, with my scientific skill, I set it down as true, sir, That I can gather from the farm Full twice as much as you, sir. "To be explicit: 'Tis an age Of freedom and progression; OUT OF THE SENATE. 45 No longer, dog-in-manger like, Can you retain possession. The farm long since you forfeited, Because you failed to till it; To me it clearly now belongs, Simply because-- wl/ it. "My logic if you disapprove, Or fail of comprehending, Or do not feel convinced that I Your welfare am attending, I've plenty more of arguments To which I can resort, sir- Six-shooters, rifles, bowie-knives, Wili indicate the sort, sir. "So prithee, Cobb, take my advice, Make over your domains, sir: Or, sure as I am Captain Robb, Will I blow out your brains, sir!" Poor Cobb can only grind his teeth And grumble protestations, That might should be the rule of right Among enlightened nations. But now, Mr. President, I must come to the bitter end of my dispatches, and bitter enough it is. This business needs some explanation between you and me ; and the sooner I git it the better. That glorious day aboard the Two Pollies we was all swimmin' in happiness mast-head high. But a few weeks afterward, when we got the next batch of news from home, we was like bein' all down in the dark hold of the vessel, wallowing in bilge water. Thunder and black snakes I if ever I could swear, it was then. That Davis had turned out to be a very different chap from my old friend Jeff, and somehow or other everything had gone wrong-end foremost. The Cuban patriot cause was all smashed up; their half million of dollars was all scattered to the winds; Gineral Quitman had backed out, and Government was seizing page: 446-447[View Page 446-447] "6 MY THRTY YEARS steamers and vessels all along the coast, and making them suffer the delay -and expense of lawsuits to prove that they had no notion of going to Cuba. And, more than all this, some of the best patriots in Cuba, men who had opened their whole heart to Davis, men worthy enough to be President of the United States or to command the Two Pollies, had been arrested in Cuba and executed like dogs. Now, Mr. President, where has the blood of' them patriots left the heaviest marks? Is it in Havana, New York, or Washington? But how could all this terrible change come about? Was there any awful accident the cause of it, like switching a train of cars on to the wrong track and. making a terrible smash-up? I puzzled upon that pint a good deal, and finally come to the conclusion that possibly it was all an accident, and nobody to blame. And the most likely way I could think of that sich a terrible accident could happen was, that Mr. Davis received his secret commission from one end of your Cabinet, and, somehow or other, accidentally made his report to t'other end of it. But I may be wrong, andsh all wait anxiously for your explanation. Let me hear from you soon, for I don't think I shall hold on -here much longer, as things now is, unless I get new orders. I see things is thickening up all round you, and with the troubles in Mexico, and Denmark, and Kansas, and the melting down and mixing up about fifteen political parties all over the country and running them into thirty new mould s, you must have your hands full, and will need all your friends to stick by you; and I assure you I am not a man to desert an Administration so long as I hold ant office under it. So I remain your old friend and Minister at Large, and Captain of the Two Pollies, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. OUT OF THE SENATS. 441 LETTER LXXX. To Uncle JoshNua Downing, Postmaster at Downingville, Down East, in the State of 1llaine. ABOARD THE SCHOONER Two FOLLIES, At anker inside of Sandy Hook, January 21, 1856. DEAR UNCLE JOSHUA :-I have jest got back from Washington, where I have been for the last fortnight watchin' the old ship of State layin' tu in a sort of three-cornered gale of wind. This gale struck her on the 3d of December, and threw her all aback, and the gale holds on yet tight as ever, and there she has been layin' now seven weeks, head to the wind, rolling and pitchin', and hasn't gained ahead a 'rod. I've seen rough times in the Two Pollies, and long gales of wind, and hurry- kanes and whirlpools, and all sorts of weather, but this is the first time I've seen a craft layin' to agin a three-cornered gale for two months upon a stretch, in a choppin sea, worse than the Gulf Stream in a thunder-storm. But don't you be frightened, Uncle Joshua; she won't go down, but will live through it, and go on her voyage by-and-by all right. Our old ship of State is a stanch craft; she is built of the very best stuff, and put together in the strongest manner, and there isn't a spar, nor a-plank, nor a timber-head in her but what is as sound as a nut. She's the best ship in the world, and the Two Pollies is next. So you needn't be afeerd-that any sea will ever swamp her ; and if ever she should be in danger of running ashore, or on the breakers, by the squabbles and foolin' of her officers, she's got a crew that will take care of her. You know, Uncle, I've been sailin' round Cuba and up the page: 448-449[View Page 448-449] "8 MY THRTY YEARS Gulf a good while, tryin' to carry out the plans of our Con- gress at Ostend and Ax-le-Shappel, to take Cuba, because our country copuldn't get along without it; and self-preservation, you know, is the first law of nater. We should got through with that job long ago if our Cabinet hadn't backed out about it. I never understood the home difficulty, but I'm sure there was some hard shuffling somewhere. We was all right abroad; but this backin' and fillin' in the Home Department was what bothered us, and pretty likely has upset the business. First the Home Department told us to go ahead and fix up our Ostend matter the best way we could. But as soon as I and Mr. Bukanan and Mr. Sooley, and the rest of us in the foreign Government, had got things well under way, and was about ready to take Cuba, the Home Department turned right round and fit agin us tooth and nail. As I said afore, I couldn't account for this home difficulty, and the sudden turn-about of the Home Department, unless they was afeard we should get the most of the credit of taking Cuba, and maybe I, or Mr. Bukanan, or Mr. Sooley, or .Mr. Mason, or Mr. Sickles, or Mr. Sanders might get to be President by it. But such a thought never entered my head, and I can pledge myself the same for all the rest. We was to work entirely for the country's good, and nothin else. And for the Home Department to get jealous of us and turn agin us in that way was cruel and on- kind. It grieves me every time I think of it; for I think like the good Dr. Watts, when he says : "How pleasant 'tis to see, Brethren and friends agree." I -sent dispatches to Gineral Pierce about it more than three months ago, but never got any answer. And finally I got tired holdin' on out there alone, and hearing all the time that the Home Department kept stopping all the re-enforcements OUT OP THE SENATE. 449 from coming out to help me, so I up helm and headed the Two Pollies for Downingville. When we got along in the latitude of New York that terrible 5th of January storm over- took us, and we jest made out to weather the gale, and get inside of Sandy Hook and come to anker. The pilots come aboard and treated us very kind. Them New York pilots are clever fellows. They brought us lots /of newspapers, from which I learnt what had been going on for two months past. When they see the. Downing- ville militia was aboard, and Sargent Joel at the head of 'em, dressed up in his uniform, one of the pilots took me one side and whispered to me that he would advise me, as a friend, not to go up to New York, for if we did the Two Pollies was a gone goose. "How so?" says I, " what do you mean?" ' I mean," says he, "that Mr.' McKeon, the District Attorney, will nab her in less than no time, and condemn her for a fillibuster vessel, and you'll all be put in prison and tried for violating the neutrality-laws." - "Let him do it," says I, "if he dares. We ate at work for the Government. Our cruise has all been under the direction and advice of Congress." "If I remember right," says he, "Congress wasn't in session when the Two Follies sailed for the West India station. How, then, could you be under the direction of Congress?" "I mean the Ostend Congress," says I, "and it makes no difference which, one's as good as t'other." "Well," says he, you'll find it makes a difference which when you get up to New York. The District Attorney is death on every. vessel that has the least smell of gun-powder, or has anything aboard that bears any likeness to a musket. He has a master keen scent for gun-powder; lhe often smells 19* page: 450-451[View Page 450-451] 450 MY THRTY YEARS it aboard vessels where there isn't a bit nor grain, and it all turns out to be only bilge-water." "If that's the case," says I, "I'll leave the Two Pollies at anker here, and 'll be off to Washington and see how the land lays." So I called up Captain Jumper, the sailing master, and told him to keep things all snug and tight while I was gone, and first. I bad let my beard grow- pretty long, and was dressed de to h Heo aIitef. tty ' THE MAJOR IN THE GALLERY OF THE HOUSE. I told Sargent Joel to take good care of the men, and I'd try, if possible, to be back in a fortnight. When I got to Vashinghton I thought I would jest run in a few minutes and see how Congress was getting along first. I had let my beard grow pretty long, and was dressed so different from what I used to, that I didn't feel afeard of OUT OF THE SENATE. 451 anybody's knowing me; so I went into the Representatives chamber and took a seat in the gallery. Business seemed to be going on brisk and lively. A man was standing up in front, and reading off, in a good loud voice, Banks, 105; Richardson, 713; Fuller, 31; Pennington, 5; scattering, 4. Then I went out and went into the Senate. But there business seemed to be very dull. I couldn't find out as anything was doing. Some was reading the newspapers, and some was talking a little, and some was setting as calm and quiet as so many bears in their winter den, with nothin' to do but suck their paws. I soon got tired of this, and went back into the House again. I had but jest got seated in the gallery when the man in front got up and read off agin :Banks, 105; Richardson, 713; Fuller, 31; Pennington, 5 ;scattering, 4. I turned round and whispered to the wman who sot next to me, and says I, "That's just the same tune they had when I was in here half an hour ago." "Exactly," says he; "they don't play but one tune, and that hasn't no variations." "Well, what upon airth are they doing?" says I. "Oh, they are choosi g a Speaker," says he. "Choosing a Speaker!" says I. ' For gracious sake, how long does it take 'em to do that?" "I can't have the slightest idea how long," say he. "They've been at it now about six weeks, and if they continue to gain as fast as they have since they begun, I guess it might take 'em pretty near from July to etarnity." "If that's the case," says I, "I'll clear out, for I can't wait so long as that." So I hurried out and made tracks straight for the White House. I rung to the door, and the servant let me in. I told. him I wanted to see the President. He said very well, the President was in his private room, and he would take my card to him. I told him he might go and tell page: 452-453[View Page 452-453] 452 IMY THRTY YEARS Gineral Pierce that an old friend of his and a fellow-soldier in the Mexican war wanted to see him. Presently he come back and asked me to walk up. I found the President alone, walking back and forth across the room, and looking kind of riled and very resolute. It made me think of Old Hickory when he used to get his dander up about Riddle's Bank, and walked the floor all day, and lay awake all night, planning how he could upset it. The Gineral knew me as soon as I went into the room, in spite of my beard, and shook hands with me, and said he was very glad to see me. "Well, now, Gineral," says I, "I want to come right to the pint the first thing. I've left the Two Pollies at anker down to Sandy Hook, and 1 want to know, right up and down, if she's to be nabbed or not. You know bow 'tis, Gineral; you know we went out in good faith under the orders of the Ostend Congress; and you know the Home Government backed us up in the beginning of it; but now you've turned agin us, and I understand you've been seizing and overhauling every vessel all along, shore that had its bowsprit pointed towards Cuba or Central America; and I was told if the Two Pollies went up to York she'd be served the same sass. Now, I want to know how we stand, that's all. If you don't want the help of the Two Pollies there's enough that does ; and if you don't give her a clear passport out and in, she'll be off pretty quick where she can find better friends." "Why, my dear Major," said the President, and .the tears almost come into his eyes, " my dear Major," says he, "you misunderstand me entirely. You and the Two Pollies haven't got a better friend in the world than I am. The fact is, I've been' very much tried ever since that Ostend Congress business. It niade a good deal of hard feeling in my Cabinet, and as thinkgs worked we was obliged to come out agin it. OUT OF THE SENATE. 453 And then we had to make a show of sticking up very strong for the neutrality laws ; and that's why we seized so many - vessels. But you needn't give yourself the least uneasiness about the Two Follies. I pledge you the honor of the Execu- tive that she shan't be touched. And, besides, I'm in a good deal of trouble all round, and I want you and the. Two- Follies to stick by me; for, if you don't, I don't know who will." "Agreed," says I, "nuff said; that's talking right up to the mark. Give us your hand, Gineral; I'll stick by you as close as I did by my old friend Gineral Jackson. Now, what do you want me to do?" "Well, Major," says he, "I've got a good many ticklish jobs on hand that I don't hardly know what to do with, nor which to take hold on first. 'You know there's a Democratic Convention to meet at Cincinnati to' make the nominations for the next term." (Here the President got up and locked the door, and sot down close to me and talked low.) "The main question is, how to bring things to bear on that Con- vention so as to make the nomination go right. Marcy wants it, and Buchanan wants it, and Wise wants it, and Dickinson wants it, and perhaps Cass too, though he says he don't, and I don't know how many others, all good Democrats, you know; but we can't all have it; so you see I've got a hard team to pull against. As for Douglas, I think he'll go for me, if I'll go for him afterwards. The Cabinet and' I have been tryin' to-get things ready before the nomination to give the Administration 4the credit of being the smartest and spunkiest Administration we ever had. We want, if possible, to go a little ahead of Jackson. You know we've already blowed Gray Town to atoms. We've struck a heavy blow to knock off the Danish Sound dues, and shall be ready for a splendid rumpus there in the spring. We've got a rousin' page: 454-455[View Page 454-455] 454 M' THRTY YEARS arthquake kindlin' up between us and England, which will be jest the thing if we can touch it off at, the right time. But you know these things sometimes take fire too soon, and do mischief both sides. I feel a little oneasy about this, and wish that stupid Congress would ever get organized so as to take part of the responsibility. Then we've got a quarrel brewin' too, with Colonel Walker, out there in Nicaragua, and have refused to receive Colonel French as his Minister. If Walker chooses to resent it as a national insult, we are ready for hint. We shail't give back a hair. Now, Major, what do you think of the chances for the nomination?" "Wal, Gineral," says I, "I think if you manage right you'll get it. 'll do what I can for you anyhow." The Gineral shook my hand, and got up and walked the, floor. Says he, "'The greatest difficulty now is- with this confounded stiff-necked, stupid Congress. They won't organ- ize-that is, the House won't-and they seem determined to, throw a damper on the Administration somehow or other. Here they've been foolin' away their time six weeks, and let- tin' the whole country hang by the eye-lids--war and all. I had to keep my message on hand a month, and let it almost spile, jest because the House wasn't organized. At last I happened to think it was a good chance for me to take the responsibility. So I let drive, and fired my message right in among 'em. Some was quite wrathy; but I didn't care for that. I meant to let 'em know I'd show 'em a touch of Old Hickory if they didn't mind how they carried sail. But here 'tis now goin' on two months, and everything is at a dead stand, because the House won't choose a Speaker. We can't have any certainty of getting enough money to keep the Government agoin' till we get a Speaker, and all our plans is in danger of being knocked in the head. Now, Major, I wish you would shy round among the members a day or two, and OUT OF THE SENATE. 455 see if you can't bring matters to a pint. I don't care much who is Speaker, if they'll only organize." So I went round among the members two or three days, and did my best. I found 'em all very stiff, and the lobby members were stiffest of any. The third day I went back to the President agin, and says he, "Well, Major, how does it stand now? Does things look any more encouraging?" "A leetle grain," says I, " but not much." "Well, how is it?" says he. Says I, "It is Banks, 105; Richardson, 73; Fuller, 31; Pennington, 5; scattering, 3." "But that's the same old tune," says he ; jest the same that's been for the last six weeks." ' No," says I, "you mistake. Don't you see the scattering has fell off one? Isn't that a leetle encouraging?" The President looked disappointed. Said he, "That's a very small straw for a drownin' man to catch at. But how do they talk? Do they grow any more pliable?" "Well, the Fuller men seemed to be the most pliable," says I, " of any of 'em. They said they was perfectly willing and ready to organize at any time, and the only difficulty was, the Banks men and Richardson men standing out so stubborn." "What do our true Democratic friends, the Richardson men, say?" said the President. Says I, "They say they'll stand there and fight till the -crack of doom before they'll allow the Black Republicans to get the upper hand." "Well, that's good spunk," said the President; "but the worst of it is, this business will crack my Administration sometime before the crack of doom. Well, how do the Banks men talk? Is there any hope from that quarter?" "They say they are in no hurry," says I. "They had- as leave vote as do anything else. They've got moneyenough, page: 456-457[View Page 456-457] 456 MY THRTY YEARS and can stand it, and they'll stick where they are till they starve the Administration out." The President jumped up, and I must say he looked more like Old Hickory than I ever see him before. Says he, "Major Downing, this will never do; we must have a Speaker, by hook or by crook. Can't you contrive any way to bring this business about?" "Well," says I, " there is one way, I think, the business may be done-and I don't know but it's the last chance--and that is, for me. to go and bring the Two Pollies round here, and bring her guns to bear on the Capitol. Then send in word, and give them one hour to organize. If they don't do it, then batter down the house about their ears, or march in the Downingville melitia and drive 'em -out, as old Cromwell did the Rump Parliament." The President stood a minute in a deep study. At last he said, "Well, Major, a desperate disease sometimes needs a desperate remedy. If you think you are right go ahead.") So here I am, Uncle Joshua, aboard the Two Pollies. I jest stopt to write this account to you, and if I don't get better news from Washington in a day or two, I shall up anker and make all sail for the Potomac. And if things is no better when I get there you may expect to hear thunder. I remain your loving nephew, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. v - * OUT OF THE SENATE. -57 'A POSTSCRIPT. I have wound up My Thirty Years Out of the Senate, and left the Two Pollies at anker down to Sandy Hook, with Sargent Joel and a few Downingville melitia on board to keep guard till we get orders from the Government, or Mr. Bukanan, or somebody else, to do something. If Kansas has got through "bleeding," so Mr. Bukanan can get time to look after something else, and thinks it is time to take Cuba, " if we have the power," we are on hand, and all ready to give a lift. Or, if we are to take care of Mexico, and are going to fix up that "protectorate" that they talk about, the Two Pollies will undertake to go out and take care of the castle at Vera Cruz, for her part of the protectorate. She wasn't afraid to pour into the Moro, and I guess she'll have grit enough to handle Vera Cruz. Or if Government hasn't got the Central American question settled yet, and finds it necessary to send out a force there, the Two Pollies is the craft to take charge of the business and keep the road open across the Isthmus., Or if the Government should think it best to take in the Society Islands and the Sandwich Islands, away round there in the Pacific Ocean and hitch 'em on to the United States, the Two Pollies would make a first-rate, squadron to be stationed round there among 'em, for there aint another vessel in the whole navy that can hold a candle to her in sailian' round Islands-she's been tried, and wasn't found wanting. Or if there should need to be any reinforcement sent to the army that's gone to Utah to whip them beastly Mormons that's got so many. wives, Sargent Joel and the Downingville company would be force enough to set things all right there, and the marines and hoss-marines could be kept aboard to navigate the Two Pollies. And I want Mr. Buchanan and the Government to under-, stand that we are ready to take hold and help 'em out of their difficulties at any'time and in all weathers. Although I've got through "My Thirty Years Out of. the Senate," I aint agoing to sit down and do nothin'--I aint one of thati nater; and as it's pretty likely I -shall be out of the Senate some time - longer, if I live, I shall keep sturrin' round, writin' for the good of the country, or fightin' for the good of the country, as -long as I can hold out. My old friend, Colonel Benton, did jest the same thing. When he got through his Thirty Years in, the Senate he didn't fold his hands and set down and do nothin', but kept on writin' for his country till the last moment, and finally the brave old man "died in harness," as they say, almost with the pen in his hand. I think that's better than to rust out. So when I aint wanted by the Government page: 458-459 (Advertisement) [View Page 458-459 (Advertisement) ] 458 MY THRTY YEARS to go on foreign expeditions, I shall pretty likely keep figerin' away with my pen in somethin' or other. Maybe I can do as much good to the conntry in that way as any, for I have a kind of a sneaking taste for literature as well as war, after all. And if my name shouldn't appear in the list of contribu- tors to the new Magazine called the "Great Republic "Monthly, I guess, if the v reader looks sharp, he'll see I am at work in it somewhere in an under- handed kind of a way. And if I should happen to go off on a cruise any- where, I shall, of course, make my reports to the Government and the public through that Magazine. With the best good wishes for everybody, I remain, MAJOR JACK DOWNING. 'I: . .. '- fl THE "GREAT REPUBLIC"MONTHLY. This new Magazine has rapidly risen in favor, and its success is established beyond contin- gency. The Publishers, by engaging the best writers, treating topics of living interest, pro- viding for a variety of tastes, and, above all, by an open, frank and impartial course, hopo to secure for it the continued favor of all intelligent and fair-minded readers. Believing that this Periodical will become a desideratum with all, and that complete files will be valuable, the publishers -would say that the work is Electrotyped, and that all the numbers can be supplied. The publication began January, 1859. THE MOST PROFUSELY ILLUSTRATED MAGAZINE IN THS COUNTRY. Each number contains the Fashions, an Original Piece of Music, one or two pages of Comic Cuts, and over fifty Original Designs on wood. . ... The following Contributors, with many others, have been engaged: GEO. D. PRENTICE J. T. HEADIiY PAUL H. HAYNE ' CHARLES SWAIN JOHN G. SAXEI HANNAH F. GOULD F'IZ-GREEN HALTLECK LIEUT. AM, F. MAURY SARAH HELEN WHTMAN CHAS. J. INGERSOLL WM. H. C. 11081NER CAROIINE M.,KIRKLAND ORESTES A. BtROWNSON A. J. REQUIER ELIZABET'H F. ELLET GEN. GEO. P. MORRIS COI,. J. H. EATON, U S.A. JANE ERMNA LOCKE NATHANIEL DEERING I EVI REUBEN' ALICE CAREY HON. CHAS GAYARRE THOR. DUNN ENGLISH ' PHEBE CAREY WM. GILLMORE SIMMS DUNCAN KENNEDY MADAME LE VERT PARK BENJAMN REV. NRE. E ELL A. PRINCE MARY FORREST HON. ALBERT PIKE, of Ark. HENRY B. H9RST MARY E. STEBBINS ABBE ADRIAN ROUQUEiTE APPLETON OAKSMTH, ELIZABETH OAKES SMTH THOS. FRANCIS MEAGHER Aluthor of "M3AGGIE BELL"ANNA C. BOTTA. (Miss LYNCH) SEBA SMTH, (JACK DOWNLNG) HENRY WARD PETTIT AIJCE B. HAVEN R H. 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