Comic lectures on every thing in general and nothing in particular
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Belubbed Bruddren: On dis 'easion, your 'spected preacher will congratulate upon de 'portance ob de fair sect, dat dey-mind dar oan bizness and pay for dar own liquor in de sullar. De text am in dee words ob de apostle Nicodemus- Barney leave the girls alone And let them quiet be, A fust dewision ob dis ubjeck an_ m at BarneynUSfi leaf de gals alone, which means dat he wus-leaf d gals till he can ketch one ob dem alone: asyu:ando nossin wid de gals when dey am all togedder,. i send-diwis- sion 'peak about letting dem quiet be. Datistaisiated rong ob course, bekase if you let dem alone dey nebber will be quiet. A woman is like a rope swmg n'{ in de wind. She nebber can b quietat alL -Ebery time she breathes, it sets her tong to goin' like the wind turns a wind-mill. Darfore dis passidge ougit to read- -Barney leff e gale alone, And de wimmin do de saae. Dis shows de 'portance dat 4 gals left' de men e, and mind dar own bigness; Pisibryha : to our considerations I hope' y ou'ti4 'em e and I dreas myself 'ticklarly to den gals yanae love who am casting sheep's eye at de elars in : TEryY ,$' . , --' {. - - ' "' '' x-... "n, - , - ,rf yea + !' page: 4-5[View Page 4-5] 4 4 BE_, "U. r' 8p.?y d preacher 'qnest de gals to leaf him alone educejnembers ob his church and ge a~aY ~ie p n oc.' Co e me :datass ight he was gwoine d hr te d dar was two nigger gals od 1)rdde kpp t9lkinn a 107i1 behind hewaS dreadful afeard da y ty ive dhi n dl b rvarte. tass, one ob dem dropt her bag nidealk and'SPect dat Brudder Cole wondic it up for her. But Bruddew Cole made behef he idn't ad Jeyhb to pick it up darself. Arterj da he m degltoseeifdey do aynymiscef. e s 'don Washinto streett and at last turn into Union ndango towards Sam's sullarl -dtelled Den Brudder Cole run down in do sullar ad Do nation oh olkr dat he found dar, how dar was deo aou nd dat wanted to seduce dar var- tw r a bout a dze emmen ob color down de ,f das adey he id dat, dey went tght out y receivers and when dey found dem 2 gr gals deyr'wised dera to go straightt home, and two gh color went carry em to dar houses and b'wtdr de we in aid 'shut de door and I ges d b de so ood advice for de two gemnien s ad e as much as two hours before dey Zin.Do names -ob dem two gals ob color will p oe s adey amx found out. Yor herhab been plegged berry mutch als oh color dat 'rive heah lately from Long Is- S ls.y pec preacher in de 'treet adto hi anid sun ob e white fokes d eacher is 'quaited wi d- Dtsiekhold oh your specterd preacher -in o su~ar~an4 oe rom dem', like Josef, and leaf doe talob hi cot behd.ey wanted your !spected preach- 9' s E 0 _PA';~r _2 . s$' Q'41P rto treat depn,to lobster and 4lam pup h mto g b dom0"Ra te ola big sa ., F w C i " in de Cullherwarspted eh dey 'tend to corruptartue audthee fro Toddler d at fat nlggar wench dA r 5+. over i Charleston c ltupon your spected preaer, and t t h iI about de g bdl other ~fe6 She e i-op hthak char g dat 'portant casion, and your 'spected $ eher tink she was acting like'dat young-widder ove 4 l.hel- sea dat seduced Long 'San ob de shooner.ku ak- er blushed at dis conduct, -and he 'peak her better daat and ax her ij she hal no spect for de doff. Darfore.dar will bea moral rform society of people off.cclox foto prevent nggar gad from seducing de'he poPyggotio oh color. Seven niggers ob color will be a00osety togo round and visit de lady niggars ob die voinity and taljt to dem about dar vartue and warndemagin ar con* duct. Darfore de todder dewini onb dis text 'lude to a fresh supply ob elanm dathab come into de sullar tdder a and which muss be sold rite off as -dey hah l spile already. Dese clams is mostly open, lr a , will save de trouble ob opealn den o " Ye preacher tasted some ob dem twowis ago an d 4A berry good. Clarrissa Pease and Jemima Phillips hab complained to your 'spected preacher bekase do world is o s- troyed yet, and dey say dat he promised 'em it should be destroyed lass spring! Dey say dat if it ain debtroyed. soon, deir assension dresses will be, all outo What de debble you come to bodder y preacher 'bout dat fcr ? ou br -ack e N -pio+ - bizness to behive what he tell yOu,. nd al ~~~ e st on; you stiff-necked jineration ob wipers! D##a mistake in do reckoning on 'count oh do year. It is a page: 6-7[View Page 6-7] 8 COMIC LECTUR!f, & Jew's year and darfore it is not de same ting. De Jew's. don't eat no pork, and dat makes de difference, so dat it wpn't hapen till de first fair day in dis monf. Darfore you better put plenty ob money in de hat, as yowotiwant it long arter dis month. As your'spected er hab got all his ascension dress reddy except covering for -his feet, he hope you put in a good deal as he c to o tp onwhite top boot and want de money to buy de. LAGEW-LATTEB7 OLTURE. A3 yoof .Peoples8: YoQur minister shall give you to text vat you shal call: 'Peas porridge bot~ Peas"porridge cold, teas porridge iiithe pot Nine days old.' Dish soIemn teit of'de pig books is enough to give you a knowledge of to truth like vot you never shalt know. In do vut plac, to peas porridge shall pe hot. AhlI tat very veil. Vn it ish'hot it shall pe goot. In de neztpace. it shall pe cold. Ah t tat shall be vonse as everting. You shall come too late to dinner, and you shall fid to porridge cold. Ten you shall swear, and you slt say.Ydunder and blixen, vot shall pe to mat- ternmit dish soup: I shal never, have hot soup ; to soup shall.Rpe always as cold as to tuyvil. I shall go out of dishouse and live in to voods; it shall pe potters tan to gettoold soups Ten yofi shall fling your boot at your vrow, and shall fing.te cat out of to vincler. on peas porridge shall pe nine days in to pot, it shall pe kept varm for you von you shall pe gone out, and- you shall gethome late to your dinners. Von mine oncle, Pr.on Sluggerbug, shall pe sent to a vooman tat vos ta. skit , srr ; :t... ._ a . , ..tom .S , %.t "' .1 =, 1 BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER BrAt'TER. ken all at vonst, to peas porridge shall pe put on te fire ven he shall fust go away ; and ven he shall get back, it shall pe nine tays in te pot, sure enough. Tey shall vait for him to get home before tey eat teir dinner. Oh? he shall pe a very safe doctor,' mine goot oncle Sluggerbug. He shall pe slow and sure. He shall never do no hurt as he shall never get to to patients ven dar shall pe danger to, hurt tem. He shall pe von goot doctor Ito tell vot shall pe to matter mit tem ven tey shall pe dead. Your minister shall have one peas porridge tat shall pe nine days old, pecause old age shall pe honorable: and so he shall have all tings old. 'He shall have his meat old, his pot cheeze old, his sour-krout shall pe old,,and his newspapers tat he shall puy ish old, pecause tey ish to more cheap as to new ones. - Toy ish potter for tat. Vy shall you puy to new newspaper ven you shall get to old vons tree for von cent. Tey shall pe just as pig as to ot. ter, and teir shall pe as much reading in to same. Te ot. ter day I shall get hold of five of to old Evening Post of New York. Toy shall pe more tan dirty years old and shall Pe all in favor of to British and shall wish tey might lick to Yankees in to war. Oh; tat shall pe von goot paper. I shall subscribe for te fEvening Post pecause., i shall vant to lick to Yankees. 4A THfE SUPERNtUMERARY. Sister Sally has got a bo. Everypoddy is tawkin about it, for he is won of the wonders of natur I We was awl down to Ant Judy's house. When we w~as their, Cozen Peter cum runinin' into the -honse with his ize wide oden and hollerin' out a dreadful thing~ was happened. He sed that about five hundred wild niggars page: 8-9[View Page 8-9] V. QOI EOETtRES,0 &" had br~e loose and was cum with instruments of mu- -ik it aik the hull town prisoner. So we all jumpt up, addidnt Snow what to do. Uncle Jo, than run to the, arna-dut a itch fork; ant Judy run up .stares and brougtdid W ,n4he hachet and cozen Almira came up to nd sez she, 'Now you can defend your native countree and be g'a alliant he row.. You can drawer out your brite' sword and sperr the enemy and have your neme rolled on the histories of fame like lord Nelson at the battle of bun- kers hill.' Then i trimbled all over like; a lieve, and arter that sis- ter Sally she cum runnin' to the house' and sed there was a whole army of granny dears with their bagpipes and there bang goes and their utinsils of musick that was cum to dictate terms of peace to the publick, and she wanted us to go and see 'em. So we awl put on.our things, and went out for we th4ug+ t heiven and airth was cummin' together. So we went down to the skool house and their they wos. It was a hull passel of fellars and they had all sort of musicks and long tale cotes and look't dreadful, and . .t was grate gentlemen, and was desput perlite, and bowed down almost to the floor, and sister Sally sed she shouldn't wonder if yon of 'em was a prince in diguiise. As soon as we went into the skool-house we sot down. Then these musicianers all sot. in cheers at t'other end of the skool-house, and before they begun to play on their musicianary instruments, the squire stood up. and macid 'ee a speech. He tolled 'em that he was brought upin that own, man and boy, was forty year antupward, and he sed'that he bid 'em welcome to the plaice, and ,that the illedge hadnxever been so much 'on- ored sense Ia Fayetty passed threw their, and so he maid a ow ebow and talked to 'em about the rism generation and the importance of eddioation and he .said there ap- parance in, our villedge was like the rising of the sun in BY DEACON 3NOWBhLL AND DDRWOE LAGQRLaTTE the mountains. Then these ,insidiaxery=all ieade. a bow and it look't proper pretty in there longcote-tiles. Arter this they begun to, sing'and play upon-there musicks, and the gals awl sed it was deliteful, and Ssan Pleice was their hoo had beento' bordin sol: amd she sed it was veryreuite 'and reininded'her of the harp of Orphans. Luke Stratton was acuai ted with won of the musioianers for he had seed him when'he went down with charcole to bostown, and he telled the gals that he Wood introduce 'en to these gentlemen as soon as they had dun musickening. When sister Sally heered that, she like to hae' fainted away; forishe thawt it would be so dreadful to.'be intrer- duced to sitch wonderful caracters, and she believed that they had soles as noble as Sur William Wallis. So arter they had dun singing, the squire had his car- ridge brawt to -the dore, and exed 'en to go home and lodge to his house, as he couldn't think to hav 'em go to the.tavurn where their was no peeple hoo was perlte enuff to keep there company. So they awl got in the carridge and drive off. Sister Sally run and held the step for 'em as they got in, and she bowed when they driv off. Arter we got home, i went to speak to sister Sally,-and she turned up her nose at me' andsez she--' dogt speak to me, i'm thinkin' of more importan bizziness; "the'gen- tleman that is the Captiugof the band has bowed 'to me to-day, and i don't think i shall ti'ubble m self to tawk about your matters.' Then mother sent for the minister to get him to speak to the grate Capting and ax him 'if he had any notnow arter-her darter.. So the Capting cumn 'to 'our 'house write off and got his neaze before Sally and swore"eernal'per- fidy. So he has been cuming to see sister sally aver sense and he telledher all 'about his wndrfUl dinaad showed her a goold cote in 'which he 1y ed ontheee. atur when he was a superIgumery as they call it. page: 10-11[View Page 10-11] 10: COMIC LECTURES, ie DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURE. Belubbed Bruddren:; We take dis 'portant opportunity e de follerin' text ob de apostle Barbaras: to 'proximate on d Turn about and turn about, and jump Jim Crow. When you take up a text like dis 'ere to splunticate upon de passage, de first thing is, to clean your teeth and wash your mouf so dat de words don't get soiled in coming out. Den y.ou count deletters andIdewide de text jest in so many parts; carter dat you 'prove upon de hole, and den you pass round de hat. You know dat a bear, goes up a tree with his ta ead foremost. Darefore your 'spected preacher will begin dis text in the sane way. In de first place he begin wid Crow, which am a bird ofrey. Sometimes you heah tell ob a geinman ob color who was born of preyin' parents. Do you'spose dat dis crow is sich a kind of a ting. Dat crow nebber prays in dat way; but prey upon oer insecks and quadrupeds. He is one of dem kind ob prey- Sister Sally sez that a supernumery is higher than a jineral and she is so prowd that she won't speak to none ~of us. The stage-driver sez that this. grate supernumery has got a wife in Providence; but sister Sally won't heet nothing' agin his character, and is getting her close maid for' the wedin' She wants that you should send word "what will be the price of a fust rate wedding-cake made ie Boown, for she means to hay everything dun in the most. ganteelest way. Nothin is twaked about up heer but Sally's bo, and everybody thinks she will be a grate lady and a sitty lady tue; Don't you noe any sitty gal that you can send up heer to cort me ? I must hay a sitty gal for a wife, if Sally has a city bo. B3Y DEACONSNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTER. 11 ing creters that like de fleece tior'e dan de flock. De crow is bb de color ob de population "b color: dosame 'plexion as your 'spected preacher witch 'prove dat dis terrible wild beast can transform heseff into an angel ob light, The next .diwission am de splicelation of de words, Turn about and turn about-' Do -'portance ob dese words am bery 'ticklar 'portapce. Dar am two kinds ob vartue; one ob dem is colored vartue and todder one is white vartue. Dar is one kind for de white fokes and anudder kjnd for gemmen and ladies ob color. Darfore you must turn about and turn about and forsake your sin, even dat sin dat so easily beset you, witch is, dat you put no munny in de hat. Den dar is de word jump, witch am anudder dewision ob de text. Dai am many ways to jnmp. Some jump like a frog. A. frog and a toad am the same ting, only de frog hab de crookedest legs. Annoder Jump is de way de sinner will jump when the debble stick his pitchfork into him. Todder jump am de jumping ob de text, witch 'lude to Jim Crow, a gemmen oh color from ole Wirginny. On de lass' satterday in nixt week dar will be a public dinner gibbeu to your 'spected preacher. Dinner o n de table at one o'clock. De first course will be clam soup to be laddled, out by Sofriner Philips: de second coarse will be clam soup too, wid-cracker in it. De third coarse will be fried clam, and de fourth coarse will be boiled clams and icester sause. Dar be two tables -set, do one' table will be for de coal-black niggars and de odder table for caller niggare. Seventeen toasts' will be drunk in honor to your 'epected preacher. Arter dat Sophia Jon- sing will sing a song and Obed Mitchell will4:lay upon de banjo. .Arter dat =re hole company will sing a solo, and your 'spected preacher willdink a bottle ob' cider wid a geninan ob color from Long Island. page: 12-13[View Page 12-13] 660 LECTURE9, &, KwI g. tproc upon de hole, witch signify befoe you jump on ebery 'casion. If r.4 t .fln on re gwoine tojumip into a puddle you must Paraiyqspeefed to be a marridge between Nancy nBron Widgeon. Your preacher is not sar- .'. ithe see deim casting sheep's eyes at one -r ad hetake her to de bawl of Ruth Wing. 'r dat~he treat her to a glass ob sorheting down do ullar. Yourpreaoaher take dis opportunity to peak for de job of marrying demn 1e will az for de job two shil- dygs and a treat. Nbw rudder Nickles will pass round de hat, and as thescriptur sez.-if you hab cents .to spare, prepare to spare 'em now. Your 'Spected preacher will jib a leckture on de rise and progressobde boot and blacking business next week isa fortnight. LAGE BLOTTER'S LECTURE, MiZne Goot .t'eople8De text dat I shall giveyou Shall pe in these vords - ti11 from hih bOim stic seer, The boul 'r en eaOhes. 'AndSland' priei"oraft.s ales to hear, Of Fs leathern breeches.' Dh text i fm te Aposht Jehn, 'whoshall pe called te R i de .4" pll writel'von goot' text ~~dsip'"lbelubbed dihp.Hesalwr Qaer eope shall tell you tat to Quaker' 'shlt~e ' 'ndte sposht~le Johnhall tellyou he ishi von goe6 o i ke leather like to hide of pehiseetherreeches all over his hall shaket.o hear te sarmont of tat fox. e h o e sall pe frightened yen to fox peches. Teyshalipfrightened at his preaches, sure BY DEACONSNOW :,ANDOIE RZQ , ER-BL..y .enough. Only von pair of preeches hallpenotin all. Vot shall youd yto te preaches ,otie yl g en pair of preeches ? Eftat Foz shallmak oi she his you pair of leather preehesoru shalhak ree ven your minister shall com reach nit :e pair preeches on. Yen von man shall get mad mit you, ddbreaten to preak your head off, you shall-tell him it den't layii h preeches to do it. But dish*FoX shall'{ha e :grat power in his leather preeches. Tey Bhall make the Priestcraft shake. I shall like to see them shake, teripriesicrafts! Vat shall pe te matter init them reaches ? I shall think he will carry something in te pockets to shoot to priest. crafts. He shall put tem in all ir his pree=hes pocket. and carry tem off. I never shall see te Fox tat shall pe so bad. Tey shall not keepthakgivin, peause dish Fox shall run off mit all te goose . Peyhall not fight for. teir country because te ,fox shall have his hole'vere he run avay and keep still. Tey shall 'iot put vonkcent in te plate. Oh 1 tat shall pe very pad von tfox shall not pay for to preach. Tey shall havon wmans. to'reach in their church, and tat shall pe pad too, for tey shal silo te business ven theirr ish too many,'in -it. It 'hall spring down to price of to preach. Te vornan Yha-ll pe paid les than to man for teir vork, and tat shall -make to preach- ing eheap. I shall not like tern leather breeches. It ish von cheat- agte minister out of hispay. If I shall ake you von shoe, I shall axte monish for making 'to. shoe, en I shall save your soul from 'the tovil,l ttat shal pe vorth a plenty of nonish.. Vat shall^ amangiefrhis soul ? V' page: 14-15[View Page 14-15] COMIC LECTURES, &C.4, 14 YANKEE LETTER. There was a gal wonst up in our parts named Sal Splitten. Sal and me was acquainted from the earliest of intanse, ad when we was little, we used to carry a jug of 'lasses together. You can ax Mister Mul- lin about that, hoo used to keep the west injee store down by the turn in the rode. near Sigh Snuffle's house. So as Sal begun to grow up and her frock got two short for her, she used to squint sat me kinder sly, and she wouldn't put her arms round my neck as she used. As for my part, i went to the cow-yard and i begun to talk of setting' up with the gals. So mother made a soot of pper and salt close, and i felt as grand as nue beans and then left off keepin' low company and always kept company with sich folkes as Jim Jewel the hossler at the taverkand Sam Pease boo hd a nue soot of brown close. Then thegalsbegun to look at me in meeting' time and Wunst i slapt that 'Ting Brown in the face for starring at me for i that drest well and had learning didn't like for to have. ich low peepo stick up to me. As for SalSplitten, ihad a notion arter her, but i kind- r felt two big to go to see her for she wore a sort of of brown frok that nant no grate things. So i kept awayfrom the house a good yile ; but at last she cum to I eetip'nnwith a pretty French print on, and then 1 watched her till meetin' was out and i run up to her and sez-- 'The fatigues of the e nin' to yer, Miss Splittent' When Salherd me saythat her eyes snapt for joy and she was dredfl truck with my poughliteness, and she put her aritiermine and we walked alone together. reaeder tocum to see her, tho' i telled her that didn't eggzaklylike to marry inter, her family, wich was rahter a low won;" but as she'd gut a new frock, i'd corther a wile tilli found sumboddy of a better family. So she agreedato it for she noed that i was a kin to Mr. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIiDRICH LAGEWSLATER. 5 Darby that keeps the pound and they say that's a hire offiss than prezident. Then i went a. corting Sal, and i kept it up for six weeks; but then i'd got up two high in the world to think of her any longer. They tawked of puttin me up to go to the legislatur and vote for president and drink a health to the country where i was bred and bornd. So they told me i must maik a speech and it must be a stump speech, i couldn't find any stump to stand on, and so i goes. and gets up on a hoss block, and i sais, sais i-.-. 'Feller mortils and gentlemen of the jury-- 'We've cum together thin day to 'lect me to the legis. latur where i's for freedom from the english nation. We are to fite for freedom, as gineral washington did. We are to lick the british with injines of destruction and to obey the ten commandments from our yuth up. I don't want to make my brags about niyself now for nothing; but i say it, that i've got good relations as-well as anoth- er and 'spectable relations. I have a uncle that's keeper of the pound, and t'other day he had a beef critter in his place that .wayed.1 forget how many -stone, but it ,was prodigious. For skinning a sheep i'll turn my back tono man, and so if you 'lect me to the legislatryucntd a better thing. When i'd sed all this, they clapt their hands and give me 3 chairs. They sed the speech ought to be printed and put in the papers and sent off to the president. So i went to the additur of the GreenJuzzard and axed him to print 'it and he telled me to right it down tho he wAs there ad cheered it himself. i went hum andwi could find no ink- stand with ink it, and so i got a oldpaper- that had a speech maid by Misther Henry lay, and i got thatprint- ed in the Green Buzzard-; but when it was printed and the folks cum to rede it, they said it W08 on the rong s page: 16-17[View Page 16-17] om LEC TRS, -&& si hed , for i had agred to voat for the other party. So i didn't get 'ected, and then when i seed1i wrnt likely to be a rateman carter all, i went back to Sail and teller r i culav er, but theesky Critter had got a oo o a d Sm, and Sam he poked his finger at me and as-as sassy as a greaed niggar- tno ias ishall git married rite away now; for til i umto/Boton d get amongst them hi larnt lady nd ieby they11 tke a sline'to me sense i've begin to right for the noose papers. Give my luv to all 'quiring friends and ax-'em what they wil ax to board me a month'in Sam Jonson's suller EZEKIEL BBNE. . LAGERBLTEB'S LEhJRIU My Goot Peoples: I shall give you von text to-day vat you shall call tese words : Vihe, .R Perkinse, fro auila, at :New 'Yor'k, brings some farther - a~csoolint the t to t el inthe harbor of St. Helena.' Dish text shall pe spout te swells. Sometimes you shall a gat swell yenyou shall get on your Sunday clothes andvonew hat, and boots wit high heels, and ten pair of p reeclies? Te i1shall spoke apout te swells in St felena. Tat pteal re acwereBonaparte shall go to live, ven he shall make money-enough, and retires from bisness. Ven he shaltcut all his swells mithis long boats on his feet nd hscrw on his head, den he shall cutite Aiastrous nls t' et. Helena. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND IQRI LAGER.BLATTER. g Ven he shall cut to fust swell, he shall shoot to people in to streets mit te cannons. Tat ashall-notpe so in mine country; for teir you shall valk to streets mit out'being shot at all,: but Bonaparte shall shoot everypodiy ln te streets. In mine country tey shall hang dish Bonaparte ven he shall cut ternwll siireenough.' After tat :he shall get to be von king, and ten he shall year a gold coat and silver vest, and von hundred pair of breeches, pecause he shall pe te king at tat time. Ten he shall eut a great swell ven he shall valk te street mit his vatch-chain hang- ing down to his knee,'and his hat on three hairs of his head, and every von shall makehim a 'bow like it vas your minister. Ten tey shall put him on von little island tey shall call- elbow, and ten he shall cut von swell more bigger as ever pecause he shall have te island all to himself. He shall pe like Robinson Crusoe vat shall pe to ninarch of all ho shall see. He ' shall feel very proud ven he. shall valk apout on tat island. He shall cut a swell their because he shall grow fat and swell up big mit fat. . He shall get so much to eat and a plenty of schnaps, and shall take-snuff all to time. Bat toy shall tura him avay from te island, and he shall go back to his own country, sure euough- Te text vash told ou tat te ip ng ghllprng more account of- t swells. -ey hate;etojied some pore Frenchmen, and -pnt ter on te -island to make von ,swell. I shall like to see all teFrenchmen put toir toos; for toy shall eat frogs as shall not po von Christiansto eat frogs. Your minister shall tryit vonce, and shall tell his vrow to ketch two -toads, and shall put to toads in a pan and fry tern for dinner. It shall not pe so= got as apig. I~ I shall not like tem Toyeshall pe to-same as rogpe- cause tey ish von toad: but I shall not like t;m }at fi"-1 shall rather have von goot sausage and von rdss boef tan all to toads and 'frogs for intino diner. ''- page: 18-19[View Page 18-19] COmI LETURES, &g, Mynheer Slaughtenburgh shall pass round te plate, and shall'call to mine house to-day and get some schnapps for his trouble. Now you shall all go home and schmoke your ipe mit thanks. DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURES. Belubbed Brethren : You 'spected preacher hab obser' wation to make before he 'gin to 'lapidate on de text ob dis tickla 'casion. He observe to dis congrygation ob color dat his helf am dilikit on-dis 'ticklar -'casion, habin' had a pain in de 'tomack all ob lass week. We take our text from de wordsr ob de 'possal Davy Crockett who tell you dat-. 'There was a little man. And he had a little'gun,-- And a bullet made of lead.' De common 'taters dat take holt on dis dext say dat dis little man is Tom Thumb dat lives in de museum. But dat are is berry 'ticklarly story 'kaze he nebber hab a gun. De gemman ob our text hab a gun, and he. hab a bullet made ob lead. You see dat dis is berry 'ticklarly 'spress- ed dat de bullet is made ob lead. Suppose dat de bullet was made ob wood ; den it would be a nine-pin ball. If inwas made ob stone;. it would be a marvel, and if it was naiie ob anything else, it would be something else. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDR [LAGER-BLATTRF. 19 Darefore de gemman ob de text hab a bullet made ob lead and darefore it was not a cannon ball which am made ob iron, which is de color of your 'spected preacher. Darfore *ho is.dis little main wid bullet madeo1~ ead? I tell you it am little David, dat was de little man, and de little gun is de spiritual mesin' for a sling de. text dat comes arter tell you dat he shot a duck in de head. Duck.means a goose bekase be was a goose to come dar and get killed, and his head was chopt off and stuck on a pole. Darfore your 'speeted preacher is de speritual meanin' ob little David,:and4e stone is de sarmant he preaches which kills de debil who is de grate Goliah datis in your sole, you brack scorpions. s Darfore de follerin' toast was gibben at de late dinner, witch was gibben to your 'spected preacher; 1. De brack complexion---dis is de complexiong ob dem dat has ben dyed in de wool, and white fokes is like a new house, de color ob de boards dat has nebber been painted. 2. De woman's right society-Dey sew .not, neither do they spin anything but 'treet yarn. 3. De nigger dat licked a: white feller todder day. His heel tick out haff a yard, and his head am harder dan a brickbat. Three cheers--None but de brave desarve de fair. A song was den called for, .and Massa G. jumpt Jim Crow and sung de song. Arter dat he gib de follerin' conundrum : Why is de'top ob Massa G.'s head like de votes 'for Henry Clay? Ans. Because dey want a wig at de head. Why is de hair ob Massa Fillips 'like Snowball's sar- mant ? Ans. Bekase it is aluways read. (red.)' page: 20-21[View Page 20-21] V Q)IC LECTU1WR ~ pDeparty broke up at de hour ob leben, a your 'spec ted preachr :hob. de houor to wate .onr PhIll Jonsing t heplace~f abod~ e, iefliot akisson e pouting lp h takeeave ob her; and Massa Fillips wate on dot bi igger welehKat' libs downIn Oat Alley. Se say dat Msaa Fillp8 inake~gge impression on her wirgin hart, andteatherlike a ge mnn. Arter datwepte upon; de 'hole. Clam soup is sarv- ed up atter dis ebeniu' in pewter platter, wid wooden spoon. Cesar hab eludedd to trust'spectible niggars; and all denm dat don't pay will be exposd in church by your 'spectd preacher D ;eill be a lecktur delivered at de Philadelppy lec- tures to-morrow ebening in de arternoon before bed-time by dis 'spected niggar ob color, on (le subject of openiu' clam: de difference between a round clam and a soft clam. will bepinted out, for de one. is a quadruped and de odder is a clam genius.- BY DEACON SNOW ALL I INN l LAGER-BLA TiR. " EACON SNOWBAIWS LECTUllE 1elubbed er during: De follerin' text we take on dis 'portant 'casion : .Music hath boirmis to soothe the savage. To open rocks and split a cabbage.' In de fust beginniii' ob die church w;hab musio in dies house. Tony Jumbo played on de fiddle and better . Wid- geon played on de hano. You raccolleck dat berry well. We use music bekase it sounded pretty and hab eharmto it. You recolleck berry well that Sam Jonsing was head in dem times, and Sam was the great musikiaier for sing- in'. Sometimes he sing so loud dat you tink de ruf ob de house was gwoine to come off. Dat was great, be- kase you sing in church to be heered in hebben and as hebben is great ways off, darfore you muss sing berry loud, or else dey won't heah you dar. One time Sam Jossing sung so loud dat-his voice knock downde 'tove pipe. Dat create great rewival for few mi- nutes, bekase dey thought de debble was coming arter dar sins. Anudder time Sam Jonsing and Love Wheeler was singi' berry loud togedder and dey gotra going and dey couldn't stop. Sam pulled off his coat-and jacket to-it, and Love flung down her bonnet on- de floor. Dat was great time for religion in der days, I 'sure you. De text tell you, in a 'ticlar manner, dat, music hab charm to soothe de savage. Darfote you larn from die fuss part ob de text, dat music am 'tended 'ticklarly for de savage. When de savage heap music it sooth him berry much. Dat am de reason dat mineral Jackson. when he go wid sogrs to fight de savage berry much, hab mu- sic. Cest hab music down in de sullar to sooth fokes and. make dem come down out ob de 'treet and buy emmtin~g. Daffore de text shitd hab beer trenslate-' Music hab '[ ., ' page: 22-23[View Page 22-23] OQI C LECTURE , &04. charm to sooth de savage, to open clam and spit a cracker.' Music sarve to open grea many clam njde sullar, and cracker ob course. Annudder ting is, dat music opens your mouf and set' you to sininn' Annudder ting, music open your leg and het you to dancing. Dar wa&-little Peter, who lib on do Hill in de times ob Big Dick and Gubbennor Guss, he was -set a dancing, by music, and eber ody try to 'top him : buthe no 'top at all, 'till he dance heseff to death, and arter dat he 'top -dtraokly, right off. Dar am berry warious kind ob cabbage wich is de fiff diwision'ob de text. ' Dar is skunk cabbage ; daris leetle cabbage I dar is big cabbage, and cabbage leaves. Skunk cabbage smell berry much like a colored ball-room. Lit- tle cabbage look berry much like brudder Cole's head; and big cabbage am like de head ob your 'spected prea- cher. Den dar is tailor's cabbage wich am berry 'specta- ble as it 'longs to de loff. Pickle cabbage am berry sour, and. look berry much like de head ob Charity Phillips wen she gib your 'spected preacher de bag. Your 'spected preacher hab not de time.to 'lapidate much on cabbage, on dis nefarious fungacious 'casion ; but he will axplat? terate on de kind ob music dat is most in use at dis con- junction, In de fust place is e base drum. It is big as a hoxit, and a man is paid to carry it 'long de 'treet. He hab a big drum 'tick and a leetle. drum 'tick. He hit a good many times wid de leetle tick and only a. few times wid do big 'tick. Darefore dey call hi n base drum. Todder music ls de fife. You make him go: wid your fingers. When you'top up de holes wid your fingers, it makes de music come out, de same as anybpdy will break- outob jail when dey is locked up dar. De miost 'portant music is de fiddle, bekase some folks get dar livin' by plain' ou him. Dar am two kind ob fiddlel dfiddle that Desar play op, apd de'Scotch Aiddle. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRIC LAGEB-BLATTER. g Boff is berry good, in dar place. De one scrape; and de odder scratch . Your specterd preacher-'form dis congregation ob color dat he wants berry much to get a new pair ob pantaloon, as de ones-dat he wear on dis 'portant 'casion is all out behind, as you can see if you look. He hab to keep pokin' in his shirt tail wid de finger, and it am ob no use .at all, for it come out al.in ebbery minit. He hope you put money nuff in de hat to pay for him ; besides dat he wants to-get a bowl ob clam soup dis berry ebe ing and treat his friend Simon Jonsing from Longdaland to lob- ster. He nebber taste lobster, and he want to get 'em berry much.- Dar will be a lub feest in dis house on Tues- day night is tree weeks. Ebery one will bring cake ob bread in dar pocket 'cept your 'spected preacher who will eat at the expense ob de faithful. Susan Jumbo will 'top at de close ob de sarvice as your 'spected prencher hab sumting ob private nature to say to her. He want to ax her 'bout dat- niggar gal dat 'top your 'spected preacher in de 'treet todder day and ax him to call and see-her in de ebening. Now brudder Cesar Widgeon will pass round" de hat, and I hope you no forget your 'spected preacher's breech, es wich am berry 'portant on dis portentt 'casion. Tin fourpence is of no use in 'de hat, LAGER-BLATER'W LECTURE. My Goot Peopkes: Te text is in.ese vor.s:-. They called me blue-eyed Mary BWhe friends fortune smiled; But ahi h ow fortunes-wary Inow am sorrow's chiid! Dish shall be von text of a young gal tat shall find she have pad lucks. Very yell: shall teirpe nopiodyelse vat shall have pad lucksf Yen I shall been inw mine own page: 24-25[View Page 24-25] 24 ComicECTUIE, C- country, I shall pe von rich like Mynheer Zhacobs Astors: I shall ride in mine coach mit six hoss, and te house shall pe so pig tat te rats in te house shall pe so pig as von of te cats in: dish country. Because te house shall pe so pig, everything in te house vas pig as te house too. Vat 'shall pe dish blue-eyed Mary tat shall prag about to troubles tat she shall have? I' spose she shall be von gal tot shall peen in love, and shall penmad pecause some- pody shall get away her lover! She shall say. tat fortune smiled.' Vat fortune shall she have ? Vere shall te gal get von fortune, ven she shall have flowers to sell ? Tat gal shall sell flowers. Vat shall flours be goot for ? If she shall sell te radish, te salads, te' pea, te bean, te pot cheese-ah! tat shall pe someting vorth a vile to sell, sure enough. She shall be called-Sorrow's child., Who shall be tat Sorrow ? I never shall hear of von Mynheer Sorrow!1 She shall call herself von child of tat Mynheer Sorrow. I tink I shall know vat shall pe her father. She shall not tell, pecause it shall pe nopoty ish her father. She shall pe pest for te poor-house or te- house of correcting vere tat gal shall go, I tink, mit her fortunes and her father, Mynheer Sorrow. Teir shall pe a plenty of; iDutchmans tat shall come to' te house of your, minister, and shall say tat tey shall pe fortunes in Holland, and shall lose "all te monish, and shall ax your minister to lend tem five dollars, sure enough. I suppose tey shall pe Mynheer Sorrow's child too. He shalt hiave plenty of children, tat Mynheer Sor- rows. But you shall be von Sorrow's child arter you shall go out of te world, ven te tuyvil has got hold of you, pe- cause yoi shall not support the stated preaching of te gosipels, and put plenty of monish in te plate vich shall pelhanded round tat you shall fill it full, sure enough. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERIO LAGER.BLATER.2 Mynheer Von Junks and Mynheer Blastus shall pe von committee to convert te Jews, as Many of te members of dish church shall sell pork and sausage, vich shall pe goot for pizziness. Tey shall have one, dollar a head for converting te Jews. YANKEE LETTER Feyther got whopping mad l sfsummer and sed i must go to work at somethin' to earn .my livin.' and not be lounging 'round the house no longer, for i was twenty three years old and stod over six foot in my stockings. So, Joe Brigham was up at our house and he sed how he was goin' on the canawl to run a canal bote from Woos- ter to Providence. I had herd tell of the wonders on the grate deep, and how they was sumtimes cast away and all got drowneded. So we all got 'round Joe toher. him 'tell. He had been up the canawl five times andthat he new how to steer a bote. So he telled us all about it and sung a song aboutthe dangers of the seas, and the dread- ful doins of the raging inane. Then mother sed she couldn't endureto hay me go of n the dangerous deep and sale in them canawl botes'; but sister Judy sed how:she should like to have a brother that would go on the deeps and be a stranger in a strange and, and who would press her to heibusting hart when, ever he came back from the dangers of the raging mane. She cast ever so many sheep's eyes at Joe bekase he had had experience in these things, and so he took the hint and got up to go and kids her, but he stunm ed.,over the cat and pitched his head agin her boosumn4 i she squak- ed right out like a cat when you tread on its'tale. So mother wanted, to appear delikit before. Joe, andshe lookt round and got a bottle of sweet ileandhi Jud's nose. So Judy lookt up, 'and seed Joe fnnig her page: 26-27[View Page 26-27] ~OEKL X 'TR,&"r", hogoa t in ithire fo with hisehat,. and then she fell right in love with him ; for it was plane that he was a fast rate gentleman. Then Judy tlled me to go with .him on the raging deep and taik him'for my pattern, as he would lead' me to gldry and reuoyw; Then here was grate times a fkin me off I got a pair of big boots maid by Simon Enathan Parker the shew maker ond mother and:Judy sot up all nite puttin my salt a pepper eot in order, for to go on the canawl with Joe Bigham an se, the-wunders of the lord in the mity'.deep,,, So on the nixt weep, on a toosedy and in the year of our {ord 16i,04- into th wagging with our sorryell maor t to it and Joe Bigham by the, sighed of m a f .give orh to: Wooster, wih was jist f n th ce e i was bred and born. A b wn o oasee upoph mand t bid u good., b t s ok hands' withne a pt a cake of S bat in.rpeke? then su(shead sh w afrade Ss d _ra 4 ed to;give, her lo the cap tin of the canal b Th p my {sister puh4 ag r n . anki y fqrril and she . . d i rig e to the dee Whn the waters run o he es ndwt e aksitsflitetthsdaekes oftheys 0. ro t~ne nm et ? _t. ,tde Joe:h, a sq this ,thdth9 lihV to have f a lhAwd. and pased threw t t a ijo hp1 eu At last we go to the ity si- t F a;!te , .i :'e ; sp1Wim iter.. They wawk- eea oh 8a lapdrtst p iliystyles ad thy' htki gy ed over th rehea ls th ghtheit want; n o. re g asI1,,:w tito the plajn tote[tottheain oii p pg dg intg BY DEACON SNOWBA L AND.DICO LAGER-BLATER. 2 derful big feller on the seas, on acdount of his talk at our house. But as soon as he got there, the capting went up to him, and axed him where he had been all the time. So he telled him, and then the casting he sez, ' well go to work and sweep off the'bote- or-i'll turn you away, you good-for-nothin,? lazy feller!' So i was wonderful surprized, for i thort Joe 'was Cap- ting and was going to give mea good sittyvation. 'ar- ther stared and i stared, till. the Capting cum up to us and axed us if we wanted to sale down to Providence in his bote. So farther andi bothtook off our hats and maid a low bough to the Capting and telled, the Capting that i wanted to get a chance to go to sea in the 'bote, upon the raging main. Then i telled the Capting that mother had sent her love to him, and he lookt at me as hard as if he was goin to see threw me, He telled me he had got no chance for me as his men was-all hired. 'Then farther up and tolled him that Joe Brigham had agreed to-giv me a good sittyvatibn and he laffed and sed that Joe was hired b him, and that he wouldn't give him his salt for all he did, but he kepp hij out of charity. As for Joe, we went along to speak to him, but he dasn't look at us nor say nothing, for fear the Captiig' would tirn him away. Then farther concluded he would pay the munny and let me go to Providence .and cum back, but he wouldn't go in the bote himself; as his life was Sallyble to be sup- ported with. So farther went hum, and i rid down in the bote, upon. the raging mane,,i was gone three days and when i cum back i hadapesky} sight to tell about the bridge i seed there, and sullers where they sell ,ysters, and a great big hollowhouse, with lonjstone posts; and they call it the Ark ade, and i took hum anioosepaper that was called the peronical-when:i gt hum, sister ju- dy run up torme and fainted away on my bodznm mth- er run round to the nabors to tell 'em all about.'my adyen- page: 28-29[View Page 28-29] COMIC LECTURES, &C., } 28 tures whici she said were more wonderful than Robinson Rooster, all--the:gals the villidge cum running to our house, and all the nabors shouted for joy I DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURE. Beubbed Bruddren: Dis child ob color take dis 'casion to 'form dis -dark comlecte d congregation dat he hab chose for his text de folerin' words ob Saint Daniel Web- ter- e the nigars asthey run. Wide h naake for dance and fun.' Dis text am explatterified in the fif conjunction ob de dignity ob human natur, and 'specs de opinion ob dat grate poet, mass Webster. De fust collateral explosion ob de subjeck 'form you dat niggers run. Dis is de prepossessive case and de animal- cule gender and figurative mood, and s ion exclusive. De fiust diwision ob de text am niggers, which ar divid- ed into the . colored poppylation and de poppylation oh color. Den dey am diwided into he niggar and she nig- gar. Arter come de yeller niggr ad dem nigger, de fat nigger and de lean niggar and dey amde decision ob de poppylation ob color. De text tell niggar to run-to flee from de 'rath to come. Dar am seven way, .1to do dis. In de fust place, you must oeyin de.hat. Den you muss trade at de. seller; put mory0in - 7 I undertan dat Sopy Phillips buy her bear at Peter Titz. I 'ject to dat, bekase dat is not deplace. Ebery one dat belongs, to dis huch must buy dat tings in de sullar. Susan Longheel hab got married and she 'ployed anudder gemman oh color to 'fishiate on dat 'portant 'casion. Dare-, fore yuIr 'spected pi-eacher forbid anybody to 'sochiate wid her: for what fellership hab believer wid a onbeliev- er? BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAQER-BLATTER. 29 Todder dewision stresss de idee ob wide awake. You hab heered ob wide awake for black fish j but dis is wide awake to dance and hab fun. De colored poppylation hab always obeyed dis text. So has de poppylation ob color. Black Joe, dat long fiddler what took board in Sam's sul- ler lass week hab, played for seventeen parties widin de week. Two niggar up town danced'dar heel off in de mean time, your 'spected preacher tore. his trowse's in trying to cut a pijin-wing. Temperance Wing's bustle fell off on de floor and your spected preacher trad on it. It busted open, and Cezar think he know dat meal dat come out ob it; he tink she 'told it from de sullar! Pa- tience Lewis is 'quested to fetch back dat string ob in- ions dat she took from de sullar. She tink dat Cesar didn't-see her, but he was 'hind de door, and he see her out ob his eye. le tank her to bring dern back or your 'spected preacher will spousee her before dis congregation ob color. A peck ob clam will be raffled for at de sullar, and a pint ob icester took out ob de shell. Daris gwoine to be some church property belonging' to dis congregation, and your specterd preacher lhb d care of it. Dar will be six hens and dey will lay eggs for de good ob de chureh. Dar will be fifty egg laid in a month; dem egg will be hatched, and dochickens will grow up to be hens; den dey will laye -ay-agg, and to de sentd "of the year, it will come to tree hundred dollars forces. Darfore do church will sell its eggs.a for tree hundred dol- lars nixt winter. Darfore if anybody hab got tree oun- dred dollar's t edn a o treehn dred dollarto lend your spected preacher till dat time, y a hab d e of. dem egg mxt winter.. I hope you hand ober do money rite off., De six ens may be seendownthesullar any time between do hour oh two in de morning and one o'clock inedo eerternoin Now, I shall 'prove upon do 'hole. Dar am tree niggar page: 30-31[View Page 30-31] 4 COMIC'LECTtJ1 s, &C., 30 gals dat is. arter your 'spected preacher ; one of dem is Hope Jnieoe toder is Kate Widgeon, and todder is Jerusha Black. .But your'spected preacher hab no wish to change his sittyvation. He wood have no ojection to Susan Jonsing or-any odder wilder dat hab got de tin; but he cant tink ob marrying derm dat hab got no munny; for he dat don't. provide for hiA own house is wuss than a in- fidel. Brudder Jumbo will pass 'round de hat on dis 'ticklar casion, and arter dat you can clear out ob dis place. LAGER-BLATTER'S LECTURE. Mine Goot peoples : I shall gave you von text to-day in dish vords from to pig books:- I know that's have knelt too lowly For smiles so oft-withdrawn, That trusting love ieeived too slowly The lessons of thy scorn. Dish text shall be from Solomon song, all apout love, sure enough. Your minister shall pe in love a few many times. Te first time he never shall been so much in love as never shall be tat time, It shall pe von vomans in to Hollands vat vash lived next door to mine house. Teir shall be von knot-hole in te fence, and I shall put mine eye to to knot-hole ven she shall pe walking in to garden, and shall look at te vonan all to days. She shall find it out von day ven I shall have miepipes in my mouth and she shall see te schmoke jump up over te top of to fence mit rings like to curls of to hair on her head. She shall say netting to me, so that I shall not know she vas gone for one pitchers of vater, vich she shall fling over to fence on mine head, and put out mine pipe. I shall jump so high as to top of mine breeches ven I shall feel te vater as shall be like scalding vater on de top of mine head. Yen I find out it shall be cold water, I shall not be seared BY DEACON SNOWBALL ANDDIEDRIOH LAGER-BLATTER. no more; but I shall never love tat vomans. again. She shall put out all te love in mine head wit to cold' water. Yen I shall see her next time in te street, I shall blow to schmoke out of mine pipe into her face. Bat vash to waters, hey ? Dat vash goot for tevaters von she s1all get to adhraoke in her eyes. She shall like to throw some more vaters on to mine head Te next time I shall bean'love ish von great lady tat shall live in Amsterdam. She shallbe to vidder of two husbands, and vash very fat,.so fat a one fat ex, and'she. shall have to modish too. - So shall fall in love mit her worse tan ever. I shall not look through to knot-hole dat. time; but I shall go to to house, ad shall court dis lady, and task to her about mine horse and mine pow, and tell her how many pigs I shall got besides von big sow as never vash. At last I shall go to do vat you call to pops- of te questions. I shall go to'dish grand lady mit seven- teen pairs of breeches on, vich shall pe to vay mita great man in mine country. I shall pop te questions, and she shall hear vat I shall say. I shall get down on mine knees to pop te questions. I shall pop dem two or three times, and von I look up in te face of to great lady, I shall see tat she ish fast asleep. I shall vait for her to vake up till I shall fallasleep too, on: my knees; and I shall tumble dqwn and strike mine head on her foot. Den she shall .rake up too. I shall rg mine head an shall rub her foot. - She shall me vat I shall be doing on te floor. I shall say tat I vash pop to questions But shall take de broom-stick and drive me out of the house sure enough. page: 32-33[View Page 32-33] COMIC LECTURES, C., - YANKEE LETTER. MISTER YANKEE .-i am a feemail, and 1. wil stand up foi my own sect. i want you to put it in your paper, for ,I don't care who nose that i'mia feemail, and what my sen- timents is, i never was married, for i've got a consate. again all the men and i don't care who nose it nyther. There is a feemail young lady up hear that was brought up nixt door to our house and i node allher relations and all about her, and it's as trew as i'm a righting this hear leter that she was a varchus gal and.good to ta ik lanin, for we was both in the same class at skool, and both of us was the best eddicated of any in the skool, tho' i say it myself that didn't ought to say it. Howsomever, she got married and i didn't, and the greater fool she, as i told her to her fade, for lI'm right up and down, and so as soon as i heered she was married,-i puts onmy shawl and bun- nit and over i goes to thare house. They had a house up there by Sawyer's mills, and her husband was a shew-' maker, So the fust thing when i cum near the house, what should i see but Aloyrah drawin' water out o' the well. 'That's a good one,' sez i to myself. She a drawin' water and her husband setting on his tother eend in the house. So i goes up to the door and follered Aloyrah into the house, and as soon as she sot down her pale, sez i, 'so, Aloyrah, you've got a h6 band ?' Yes,' sezjshe, and she lookt kinder down. Well,' sez i,'i hoap you're happy.' ' Yes,' sez she, 'i happy as common.' 'Well"' sez i, im fight'up and down; you know me well enough, Aloyrah, and i always speaks the sentiments; o' my mind rite out.; it's the only fault i've got, that i'll always speak jist as i think. Then she lookt kinder streeked as if she node what was a coming ' and she hitched up her cheer to mine, as if she was afeered that her husband wood here me, for he was BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND IEDEIICH'LAGEBLATTER. 3 in the nixtroom, and i could hear his hammer a going upon his lapstone. So i looks at her rite in -the face, and sez i- -.' i see you go to the well to draw water. Now if i had a man set- tin in the house on his tother eend, before i'd make a slave of myself to fetch and carry and be a dog tohim, i'd take him by the skerf of the nick and snake -him to the mill- pond, and when i got him- there i'd push him into it. That's my mind, and i'll always stick up-for my own sect, and i wnt that my sect should have no sufferance, and should be treated rite, and now you nose my minded for i'm right - up and down, and i don't kear who hears me, and you noe i mean it all for your good, Aloyrah, and its bekase i. want you should be hapty as you ought to be, and you must let your husband noe that you won't bear no none- sense of him, and when he finds you won't put up with nothin' he'll nock under and will be obedient to you, as my mother's husband always was to her. So i went off and left her all in the suds, and she was unplushed. About a week arter that i went- over to see how Aloyrah cum on, and i found that she had took my advice, and she went and told her husbandhe must.draw her water, and she telled him that he must larn to be ob- edunt. She kept at him and tride to brake him just like you brake a young colt.. Now what do you think that nasty, good-for-nothin'. man done. He refuse4, rite up and down. to peal the vigittable, and hang on the pot for din ner. Then she busted out a cryin' and sed she wood tell me, the first time she saw ine, and she went and put on her hat, and he forbid her to go: then she went up stares and he cookt his own dinner, and she's never got a meel for him sense. But the worst of it is to come. i went to the house and Aloyrah telled me all this : and then her husband cum in and 'quested me to stay athum in future. Then i give it to him, and i telled him that he was a sas- page: 34-35[View Page 34-35] COMIC LECTURES, &M sy blaggudr and i sed everything i could lay my tongue and i teller him i wood hav nothin' to do with him, and i wood cum and see Aloyrah whenever i pleased. The, 1 out and slammed the door arter me. Now what do you think ? He has acted so bad that i've advised 'Aloyrah to get a divoce from him, rite off, for- he's forbid my cuming into his house and he fastens the door whenever i go there. And nog arter all my en- divors to make piece in that family and to teach Aloyrah how to cultivate her husband, she shuts me out of the house ; but i'm rite up and down, and i stand up for my own sect. Arter these actions towards me, i've advised Aloyrah to git a divose from him, for there's a plenty of men, and if she wants a new husband, she can get a plenty arter she'sdivosed. As for me, if i had a husband he'd lnam his plaice very-quick or i'd snake him out o' the house. -i belong to the smith family and they are a set of females that always stood up for their own sect. So i hope you'll jist put this into yure paper to teach men how they'd ought not to take advantidge of us poor weak win- min, for wimmin is delicate natured, and any man/that don't give a woman her rites ought to have his guts smashed out. ABIGAL SPINDLESHANK. DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURE. Belubed 'Bruddr-en: On dis oderiferous 'casion your 'spected preacher will dilapidate upon. dis portion ob 'scri tr for de edification ob' your sole. Dese am de words ob de 'postle Lucifer:- A man is known by the company he keeps. Dis am a dreadful portentt text, and''lude to grate many ting, 'specially to- Sophy Jonsing who am keepin' BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRIOH LAGER'BLATER. 3 company wid a niggar from"Portland. Your specterd preacher hab always been berry keerful not to keep. com- pany wid de lower class ob de =colored poppylation, 'and white fokes ob de lower class he nebber will 'peak to at all. Your 'spected preacher contend heself wid keepin' company wid Ann Swan who is lastedd to.Big Dick and Gubbernor Guss, and wid Lizzy Jumbo whowas brot up in de family oh a white gemman; and dat little niggar in Cat Alley dat wears de long-tailed blue coat. Sumtimes he sees disrespectable chaps ob color and gals ob color in de sullar; but he nebber 'peak 'em. He only look at 'em out oh de corner ob his eye, and-say, what you want in dis place, niggar ? Your 'spected preacher hab.nossin to do wid dem niggars down in Ann 'treeet, 'cept Sophy Wing, bekase she gib your 'spected preacher a pare ob pantaloon. Dis text is divided into sebenteen dewisions. De first diwision is a man, the second diwision isr- his company, and do todder dewision is what he keeps. De odder do- wisions is to tedious to mention, and some ob dem ain't mentioned at all. Now de fst dewision is de ticklar subject in de fust place I'm gwoine to slainn to you how de keepin' oh company wid de lower class am different from keeping' company wid de higher class. De keepin' ob company wie de higher class am de way to get into 'spectable com- pany, and ebery body say 'whew!t dat popylation ob color 'long to de higher class oh society." Dis is de tickler difference ob de two classes. A niggar dat aspectt to 'long to de spectable class ob society muss wear long-tail coat, white tockin and boot. Dose is de di1erent d wisions ob de higher and de lower class ob society. Your 'spcted preacher will leaf it to white fokes, and ey wil ou dat a niggar dat keeps herself respectful aud comb ou his wool andl black he boot and~ grease he shoe, and put page: 36-37[View Page 36-37] COMIC LECTURES, &C , pomatum on he head, is more 'spectable dan a niggar dat goes round de docks and leans up agin a lasses hoxit till he get his trowsis full ob lasses. De 'spectable class don't eat de same ting as de lower, class. De lower class when dey go . into de sullar, call fqr lobster claw, but de'spectable class buy whole lobster at once. De'spected class hab cracker in dar clam soop, wid pepperand call for a piece ob jie and spread dar handkercher in dar lap when dey eat dar vittles to keep deg grease from smiling dar trowsis. Dis is de difference- between de lower class and de higher class ob de poppy- lation ob color. De second diwision ob de subjeck is de company.- Company is divided.into two partsde man company and de woman company-de male, and de female-de fair sect and de unfair sect. De fair sect is split into two part agin. De mulatto fair sect and de dark complected fair sect. De mullatto sect think darself more 'spectable den de dark-plected. Dat shows de pride ob dese critter, and pride is agin dar religions. Dey hab no rite to tink darself better dan odder population ob color, bekase it am false. Do -'spectable part is eggzackly de color ob your 'spected preacher. Your 'spected preacher is de color ob dat stove-nydder black nor yaller, but a kind ob brown which is is de color ob de bible. You see dat do kivers ob de bible is brown: well dat is de color ob your 'spected preacher Darfore -dem iiggars ob dis color am de most 'spectable part of the poppylation ob color. If yo keep company wid dis color, ebery body will-'tink yon a 'spectable class ob niggar. . De fair sect company is sometimes kepp by way ob courti'g; Youmuss be berry 'ticklar to keep 'spectable company when you court, and darfore I am berry sorry to tell 'yu- dat Brudder Cole has been arter Charity Phillips who belongs to de lower class ob niggars. She hab on a BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTER. 3 nice white frock! put your 'spected preacher am credu- ously informed dat her petticoat is made ob patches of various, colors, and dat her tockin' hab no bottoms to dem but only de top parts above her shoes ; and her bustle is nossin but a dish-cloff rolled up and tied togedder wid rope-yarn.. I 'vise brudder Cole .to try Temperance Wid- geon, who sets out yander by de stove, and who hab new quilted peticoat and white 'tockin' dat cum ps above-her knee. She belong to de higher class ob niggar, and will make him as happy as a fried clam if he will marry her. Your 'spected preacher hab a pare ob white-top boot to sell to anybody dat wants to buy them, and dose. boots am for dem dat wants .to belong to de higher class, price two shilling apiece for de boots. Half a dollar for boff. ,Black Pete ob Cat Alley hab jest received a lot ob second-hand tooth-brushes which he will sell cheap to de trade. You must always clean your teef if you want to belong to higher class, and you better buy one ob dese brushes. Now we shall 'prove upon de 'hole. Your 'spected preacher is heself, de head and capting of 'spectable' so- ciety, bekase he is your belubbed pasture .nd is at de head of you all. Darfore if any ob you ever treat your spected preacher to anything'to drink in de sullar, or to bowl ob clam soup, you do yourself a honor, and can say dat you hab taken a drop wid ,yur 'spected preacher, and darfore you belong to 'spectable society. Brudder Peake will'please pass round de hat on die 'portant 'casion. LAGERhBLATTER'8 LECTURE. .Mne Goot Peoples : Your minster shall give you von text dish day :---. page: 38-39[View Page 38-39] 2OMIC LECTURES, &1 . " COkimy eye 1" text shall be von very true doctrine.- You ar de tongue of von person, and te tongue shall tell you von big lie all tie time. You ax von Dutch girls if yoa shall kiss her on te lips and she shall tell you no,"sure enough; ten you shall look her in her face, and say notting, and ax her eye, and teoeye shall speak te loudest, and shall tell you yes. Ven I shall 'go to see Mynheer Von Crassus, I shall. pe told tat he. ish very glad to see me. Ten I shall look at his eye, and- his eye shall say tat he is very glad if I shall not come, and tat he shall 4pe glad all to time ven I shall go apout my pizziness. Tat shall pe to vay tat youshall ax to eye, and'to eye shall tell you to truth, ven to tongue shall give you von lie as pig as to house. Tetongue shall tell you von ting and to eye shall tell you anotter ting; and to eye shall toll you te truth, pe- cause it:will not pe so supple as to tongue, vich can pe crooked up fike vone snake ; but to eye shall stand in te heyd like to sun, and as it shall take in light, it keepsvon plenty of light hid avay and shall throw light on von subject, von to tongue keep you'in to dark apout It;. Anotterting shall pe very bad when your- vroW shall x ax your eye. Tat shall pe von you shall been out to. to tavern and got to fighting aih4oome back wit a black eye. , ou shall toll her, tat you have pen to church ; and and she shall ax your eye; and to. eye shall tell her vere you shall been. But ven you shall put spectacle on your eye, ton te eye shall not tell you notting, ;and if you shall ax to eye it shal speak like as never vas notting at all.-Ven a. man who year segotgck eal tell you to ax his eye, he shall pe like Mynheer Von Butts, who shall ax your minister inte te house, and jen he shall shut up to door and 'keep him out. To free-masons in mine country shall have an eyeon to pictures sure enough, because t eye shall talk BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIED Tf L G R'BLTTR. 9 more dan to tongue of mine vrow, vich sha l talk all to time. If she shall know how to preach sarmonts as .ell as your minister, oh ! then I shall .send her here vil I stay at home and drink te schnapps and smoke mine pipe. Ven you ish gone to von funeral, ten you shall ax your eye. to see if you shall pe sorry for to von tat pe dead. If you vas had an onion in your pocket ten you shall pe sor- ry in to eyes, ven you put it in your handkerchief, and put itup to your eyes. Now you shall put to money in to plate, and ax my eye to see.ven I vas glad if you put in a plenty of to cash. YANKEE LETTER i take my hand to-inform u that i am well and hoap these fue lyons will find u enjoying the complements of the seize on, A lady in this plaice had a very remarkable dream and wants i should rite to u about it to see if u can teil the meaning of it, She dreamed that she saw a red cow; and her :naim is Patience Hopkins, She never was married but she sez that she has had forty-five offers and nose on 'em wood soot her mind. She-is about forty year old. The cow had only won horn and one of its feet was blue, and" the oth- ers was led collor. The cow'stale was haff a miile lonyg- und as she walked about the field, it got hitched fast to too trees and tript her up Whilst she lookt at the cow, their was a green hoes thatcum trottin along, and the hoss stop at lthe goose-pofndto drfik, and, asd three geese flew down his throte, and then the hossd alked up to the cow and begn to lap her with hiot Then the cow wound her tale rund the hos 'anand the hose fell down and was dra tgd mote than half a mild Arter that there cum a flock of swallers over, the fledadthey so thick that they maid it all dark. Then sheeed a string page: 40-41[View Page 40-41] N'4 40 COMIC LECTURES, AC., let down from one of the moon's horns, and a cat clum up the string and got into the moon. This was about the, hull of the dreem, -and she cum rite up to our house, and she telled mother all about it and our folks. thort it was, a wunderful dreem, and father- thinks that some strange thing is-goin' to happen in these parts.A Mother thinks there ought to be a town meetin' called to see about it, becuz if anything strange is goin' to hap-. pen, we aught to noe it.. All the folks up hear are in 'a grate hurry to see that- quadrufull notion that's'goin' to cum out, and they -don't noe what it means, that it don't come out. Praps it's be- kase it's so big that it takes a grate wile to print. Mo- ther wants it to hang up before the fire, to make they chimbly draw. ]raps it will have the hull account of Patience's dream in it. i wish you would tell them to advertise in their' paper that 'our cow, Darby by name, has strayed away, and if it has gone to Bostown mebby the Notion can find it, and if he will keep it safe in un corner of his printing-shop, he may milk the critter for his. own use till we call for it. The gals all send their luv to :you, and wood like .to' hay you cum up - to sister Sookey's wedding. 'Bring up a hulk p-sele of Bostown chaps with you, as the gals hear would like to see how the Bostown fellers looks. Their will be dancing and fiddling and a plenty of buttermilk todin. You can have-. it: sweetened. with- 'lasses if you like.- Sookey had her head lookt over by the phrenologer be- fore her bo wood giv his consent to 'have her.' 'He put his finger, all over her;head and scratched' her hair all up in heeps, and mother axed him what he felt, and he sed she had organs. That's true, for sister Sookey always liked ,to bear the orgah play. Their was +a feller up hear with BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTE1R.4 wun tother day and. he' had 3 munkeys and sumwax fig- gers for a show. Then he felt of a bump and said it was figliting and it was very big. Then mother was mad; but he clapt his hand on the front part and sed she had a big binnivolens and 'so she wouldn't fiigbt .at all, So 'Mother was pleased agin. Then, he put his hand on the high part of her head and sed-she had grate consate of herself. So mother began to turn red. Then he moved his hand along and sed she had grate venerableness, so that she wood think as well of other fokes as of herself. Then he felt behind her head and sed she was dreadful fond.of the fellers. So mother began to grow mad agin. Then he put his two hands on the sides of her head and sed she had a dreadful big conscience, so that, she wood never do anything nawty. 'Then he:felt just oyer the back of her head and sed that she had no conoentiveness and wood like to change all the time and be fond of new things. Then her bo began to be skeered ; but he put his hands down lower and sed she had dreadful big 'hesiveness, and so she wood stick to her husband like cobbler's wax. So he went on this way, saying bad things, and then slicking it over arterwards, for fear mother wood git mad, and woodn't pay him. Then mother takes and puts her hands on her hips, and sez she to the phrenologer--' 'I'll tell you what 'tis Mr. phrenologer, you findsumthin' about my darter on her head, and theni you find sumthin' rite agin it, to balance. That's= like -a cow ivin' a pale of milk and kicking it all over again. Itmajres out my darter to be bothin' and nobody at all for the bupns is pulling her both ways, and so she keeps'ritestilland don't stir one way nor tother. Now°i'noe she aint nobody bekase she is sumboddy, and if you don't giv my arter no carackter-at all, i won't pay you at all That stumped the. phrenologer, for he seed that their was no way to please her. So he begun sto t~el agin and page: 42-43[View Page 42-43] 42 COMBC LECTU1flS* . he 'puVis nger rite before her ear, and sed he' Well, madan, your daughter is a big eater and she likes good vittes.' Her bo kinder nestled and sed something about the hard times, but the phrenologer ketched-upsher hgnds, and says he' These big hands will am more than her mouth will eat' So that made it all right agin, and'mother tolled hime that he had made ev'ry thing square with Sookey, it was all the square lie would have and so might go about his bizzines. Now, don't forgitomin. to the weddin.' Your's JofN DOUGHBOY. DEACON SNOWBALLS LECTURE, Belubbed Bruddren: On dis 'portant'casion your preach- er 'form dis congreatiori ob color dat he take for de tex de follerin' tex ob Saint Jehosefat: Presto-Change ! Dis 'form:you dat ebery ting is done by chang, ob which de cents in de hat. am de finger. Your 'spected preacher hab diskivered dat he can hab more pennies drapt in de hat if heputs put :his sarmonts into de Yankee, de.same as Commidore Perry- shift his quarters to. de Niagara when de Saint was gwoine down. Darforeyour 'spected preacher hab 'greed to print his sarmont in dis paper hereafter, bekase it is published by den 'same white gem- man dat printed it in de fust:place. Daforea)resto-changel''plies dat ebery change in anytigis made by change put into de pocket: and your. 'spected preacher hab a call to de Yankee in de same weigh. Butdar an also changes dat 'flict de mind ob your 'pected preacher and wioh he liff up his voice agin dem. Dar was de change ob Charity Peake lass summer when BY DEACON SNOWBALL DAN) UIEDRi LAGER-BLATTEB. 43 she leff your 'spected prreacher to keep comfagy wid Tony Winkle, and' dar was de change ob Nikolis Wtkins when he leff of buyin' his clam Soup in de sullar, and took to eatin' icester. Dar is also anudder change. Your 'spected preacher hab no doubt dat dem dat has been slanderin' your 'spec- ted preacher out ,b church, will change dar tune also. He already hab a liable sodt in coarse ob coming' on.He hab 'ply to lawyer Stie-all'tolbring on aisecase. It is Sal 'Widgeon who said dat your 'belubbed preacher hab a head as thick as a puoit. Darfore shewill be fotcht up and sewed for reformation of .character 'bekaso she attacked de character ob your 'spected preacher. It will be a judgment ob providence ; and de scriptur say dat de tongue am an unruly member, 'and Sam Widgeon am all tung, darfore she is an unruly memberob kdis church. I hope you all take warning from Sal; for dese tings are tended for your distinction in righteousness. Also, you spected preacher hab to 'quest on dis 'portant'oasion dat uniboddy hab printed one ob his sarmonts in New York and hab changed his name and called him 'deacon Snow- drop.' De sarmont belong to your 'spected preacher and he will not gib his glory to annudder! Your preacher will punish all dese tings to de ' tremity ob de law. In course he will, as you will find .out you brack nigger plasphemes who say dat your spected preacher eats iher- ring wid his lam soil. Presto-change ! Am de words ob our text ; and de fifiteen division 'spress de fack dat sum niggarhab-'speri- enced a change under de preachen' ob your 'spec dprea- Cher. Darfore it is his 'pinion dat as you habgot a change for him, you must gib him some ob your change -in derhat. He hab ministered spiritual tiugs and 'he-w nt toreap carnal tings. He hab seWed de good seed in yur hart and 'spect a good crop oh mnoney in de hat. page: 44-45[View Page 44-45] .44 COMIO:LJECTURES &C., - ' d De fodder diision ob your subjeck 'lde to de word prestowhit means de priest's toe. In ole times, dey kiss de big toe ob dar 'spected preacher, and now dat bnigh. mullatto gal, Merab Phillips had got so proud dat. she 'fuseto kiss de cleek ob your 'spected preacher. She sing do songob go 'way ole Dan Tucker I' when yonr prea- cher 'proach her to 'flict a kiss on her ruby hp I what youtik flab Tony Winkle a right to lead about a sis- te and hab dat short nggar called Blacke .Pete,' a right s r , ,d. . to tak two lady ob color to the Phillidelphy leckturs, and hab yur 'spected'preacher no right to wisitfcle fare sect, Darfore we divide dis text into two parts, and call him do right and de rong, which means speritually-right e srdg riht and rong in Boston. Do women's right society is do right as. you know by d6 name ; and do he sex aiu in do rong', in course A. she niggar is on de right side, bekase de rib was took out ob de 'right side ob de man ; and a bull niggar am on e rong side, in course. Darfore wo 'elude on dis 'portant 'casion, and 'quest de hat to pass round, and Phillss Jonsing will get off your 'pected preache's hat whar she hab" bed setting all de time, LAGZR-BLAfl2ER'S LECTURE., ne Goot People-~Your minister shall give you dish text for to-day :-; 'The value of a thiug I ust:e actly what 'twill bring. flat ish te vorth of von ting, ishvat he shall bring. If a dog shall bring your hatout o to voters, ten he shall pevortho hat. If he shall pring .your prayerbook to churoh, tegi-he°shall pe vortli von sharmont. Vat shall pe to value of mine sharmont? It shall pe moe valge tau I shallget ; for I 'shall spring you to IHea- venmit my sharmont, and you shall not pay me netting BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDEICI LAGE-BLATTE.4 like as dat ; you shall give me son penny sometimes, and Mynheer Von Craunderstadt shall sometimes put von so- pence into te plate. Oh ! it'shall pe very little. It ish rotting at all ven it shall pe vortlh so much more, to shar- mont, sure enough. You shall not payhalf price for to same, and you shallftink I shall not ought to have tat. Vat shall you pe vorth, if you shall pe vorth vat you shall pring ? Vat shall you pring? You shall ring m to poverty. Tat ish vat you shall pring, sure enough. Ven you do tat, you may pring another minister, for I shall e your minister no more i tat times. I shall have enough of your nonsense mit von cent in to plate, to pay fort preach. Ven, you shall marry von vife, she shall pe vorth vat she ish fetch. If she fetch youth fifty dollars, .ten she shall 'be a vife vorth fifty dollars but if she fetc you five hundred dollars, and von goot house to lio in,,ten .",i, e you can set up to sausage pizziness, Oh! tat shall pe von vife like vat I shall vant. But vat shall Mynheer Krouts pe vorth ? I tink h hall not pe vorth any goot Vat shall he spring? He shall come to mine house and pring. to itch to all mine family. Ah ! he shall pe vorth von goot cow.skiin. Arter tat I shall never see uopoty pring notting to prin into ,mine house but schnapps and topaccos and pipes, _M shall pe wanted in te house-keeping pizziness. You shal pe orthyat you shall pring ven you shall spring ten pair of reeches in te church, on youi pack.--Tat shall p0 vorth something sure enough. Mynheer Prenderghasts vife shall brought himtenilild ren. Oh ! she.shall pe vorth vat she shail spring d Vat ish to vorth of to ten children? It sh e vort to eat up all she shall got in to house and to make l clothes for all to hidrel Mig , an is all te peters, for I shall got lIke I=- It : '' page: 46-47[View Page 46-47] 8 CO EITUW,&CAI to see tem come. Vat use shall tey pe, te pad boys and} gals to make von ipg noises, sure enough. I shall preal teir head yen Ishall 'hatve te prats squall. in te house. .I shall vant to eat mine own schnapps, mine own sausage, and riine own sour rout, sure enough. Now I shall sendMynheer Von Brachenboss round mit te plate, as he shall pe von goot man mit a new house, and you.will respect this gentlemans and give him von plenty'of te monish in te plate sure enough. He ish von goot man to take te monish. YANKEE 'LETTER. Farther lost a hog last week. Praps yew have- heered it down where. you live, for everybody is a working of it u hear. This was a barrow-i don't eggzackly noe its, aige, but i wigax about it and find out and lett you noe- The disease sickened about the last of last year, and growedwuss before it died. Farther didn't think it was dan erous at first -but arter it .died, 'he was 'convinced that it died 'of a fatal disorder. Uncle Josiah cum down to our housevrite'of when be heered it was ded, and the town clark cum "up to see about it, This is the third hog that has died in the family sense father's remeinrance as he telled. Aunt Jerusha, We havegot about thiity hogs in all, and' this un was very young thoit h 'grown up to its full sighs.J But it was cut offtin the bloom' of youth, in the flower of its days, as won may say, and it ought to teach us the :unsartinty of death antthat we must all go, in the same way. Farther says that his farther had fifty hogs, and he never new won of em' to dye of'old aige. We feed our hogs a good deel on mashed pertaters, and sumtiriies.wgive them swill. i have the brussles .and sel them to tlhe she~w makers to mack wacks eends ot on. Et DEAcON SAO A AfDRDf LAGER-BAT 4Z e make aheep of sastages ithe. fall nd our ripister made a butiful oatr p on abut it, to show.how the brethren. of the chrch as linkedtogether in harpipy jest like them easseges. It was beautiful- to heer hin. Mother sez she shall think' .of. t af is neve tie that she makes sassagese, The ministeris very fQnd of sassages and head cheese too; and he takes.tea at our house whenever we kill. The biggest eaterer of sassagas up this way is Ruth. Bloise. She eat bhree links at a setting, and. a healthier gal you never saw, i wish.i had sich health, It is on. derful thing to bay good health, She mez-ures more round the waist tqan five sich as me axd:her hand looks like a loaf ,of rine-injun bread. i thortg should go to see her, but mother sed it wood taik an independat in to keep her in. wittles, aadrso she.will have to marry same sity merchant that has lots-of munny i the bank. Jim peas has gone down-to yoirsitty to git 'ino-some good bizziness. Theseis the description of Jim, o that if you see him,. you noe hp. sB's got a salt and pepper coat on, and cording pantherloons apd new boots well greezed, and{ a pwpfelt hat and blew stocins a4d a strip- ed w stcoat. ]Te ware.gloves on his hsnds, So when you' sea hin, you ,cnujest givesister Azubah's luv to him and tellhim thatshe's very oeum sense h is gone and she hasr a, better to him and yo may t it in your paper,-and hear i s ' Aff~shnate ur- i taik ypmuin hand to inform yew that we are well in heltdh and. hopeathat yeware in the same blessi The barrow is.4e9 so, ws complainingwhenyoujeftiabut he lost his helt entirely arter that. He was a grate deel wuss before he dyed. _]1aol Jim wanted fartherto giv him the corpe ar he 'could,-salt it down for the Bostown ma1kkeght,,uarther sed he thort it his duty to give it' page: 48-49[View Page 48-49] r. 48 COMIC LECTOREB, 40., chrittian burial, specially as Jim didn't offer to pay him a single scent for it, but wanted to get it for nothing. It was berried up on the hill by the place where the old barn stood. Now Jeems i hoap yew have got down to bostown and hay got to be a bostown gentlemail,. you won't forget them that you've left behind and that has a feelin' for yew, for if you haven't won you can't expect to keep a person's mindL if there is any gals in bostown that tries to steal away yure effections, ye*W must tell'em that yew hay got a warchus sweetheart in the country hoo luvs you like her 2 eyes, tho' i don't say'that myself as mother sez i must not tell yew how much i luv yew; iut i must naik yew-despair and get on yure nees and sware infer- lal constantly, and all that. if yoni reznane constant and behave yourself, and lay up munny then i -will hay you and be published, 'and i hoap that you will'be very quick, for' their is 3 fellers arter me now, and i have refused'em, but they stick close all the time ; and i -can't hold out much longer. One of them is John Isaacs, arid you noe he is very pretty and he sez i am as sweet as honey. He lade his head in my lap tother nite and sithed and sithed and i pittied him so i didn't know what to do, for my tender hart was as' Qft as soap greese; and so i stroked him with my hand on the head and patted- him on e back and telled him to be happy, for i was engaged to yew ; b-it i tolled him that if yew proved false i would hav him. He sed he loved me as well as he did a raw turnip, and that yew would find other gals in bostown. But I spose he telled a lye about that; and that yew never look at no other gals bekase yew hav won in your -mind. So no more at present from Your Beloved AzuBA BinowN. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIE DRICH LAGER-BLATTER.49 - When yon see Jeems, you may tell him we all send our luv to him, and I wish you would ax him home to tea. Tell your wife that he is very fond of presarved quince if she has any. i hoap you will print Azubah's letter in your paper for we don't noe what part he lives in, and if you print the letter he will see it in the paper, and he will have a chance to noe Azubah's mind. Your's till deth, J. BRoWN. DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURE. Belubbed Bruddren : On dis 'portant'casion your'spect- ed preacher 'tarpret de follerin varse ob de 'postle Miller for de obstication ob dis 'lightened congregation tb color- 'Hush!' Dis is de 'spressive language of our text, and 'lude to de fack dat you muss all hush and keep silence when &our 'spected preacher am engaged in his sarmont. It is de business of your speaker to teach, and you muss keep silence and 'tend to what he tell you. You muss believe ebery word dat he sez, bekase your preacher am 'pointed to teach you de truff. Dis text am divided into seventeen parts. De fuss part hab 'lusion to de fac dat if you hush you will hear ; and hearing is -diwided into de ear and de, tongue : bekase if dar was no ear, dar would be nossin to hear wid, and if. dar was no tongue, dar would be no word to hear. Darfore, ydu 'spected preacher hab took notiss dat a grate many ob de cloff hab got leaf ob dar congregation to go to England for dar hW. Your 'spected preacher tink it is time dat he went somewhar too in de same man- ner. Darfore he propose to dis congregation oh color dat page: 50-51[View Page 50-51] 50 ,COMIC LCTUREB, &c. his helf is rather dilikit, and he should like to be gwoine off sumwhar to git good helf. He tink dat if he go up to Sopus, jist below Albany, dat he 'cover his helf and make him a new man rite off. Dey hab bery big passage ups dar, and your'spected preacher like to taste 'em, wid but- termilk and fat pork. De price for 'spected preacher to travel to dat place will be twenty dollar ; but if you make up ten dollar, he can foot it half way and get a lift on de waggons as dey pass along. You can make up 'scriptions for dis journey and leave: de money at de sullar, to de keer of Sarah Jonsing, who will hab a bowl ob clam soup for her trubble. I 'spect dat you will send off your'spect- ed preacher and niuke tp de noney berry quick : for dar is a gal ohbolor up dar dat waits to court your 'spected preacher. Do thud division ob our text 'lude to de credit system. Dat system concarn de sail ob clam soup in de sullar.. When dey are called on for dar pay, dey say-hush ! Dey don't want dat, you 'peak 'em.~ 'Cordingly your 'spected preacher hab been 'pointed collector, to go 'round and get de money dat is due de sullar. Dar is to be a party to go on a slay-ride niLt Satterday.. Dey will meat at de sullar. Dis party will be berry select. Dar will be tree white - ladies from Lynn and two nigger-ladies ob color from Long Island. On dis'portant 'casion de slay will be driv by Tony Bloom and Cesar will prowide a big cow's hide to kiver up de. ladies. He hab de promise ob one at de slhwter-house.. We shall ride out as far as de spruce beer shop of our friend Tony Winkle, whar will be a splendid repast prepared by him for de 'casion, wid pig's feet and Graham bread, and a little bit ob apple-sass. Arter dat we drink, half to de desolation ob de union, and mass Philips expect to be dar, and to deliver speech for which we shall take up collection in de hat. On dat 'portant casion we shall use do 'hat ob Sam Phenix, as he hab a big head, and de hat will hold more dan de odder bat. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGEREBLATTER. 51 De speritual meanin' ob die text and de 'provenient ob de whole comes under one head. De speritual ob dis-text is hush in de soul, which means quiet and piece ob mind. De best way to get dis state ob mind is. to take plenty ob Brandreth pills to -drive de wind outob de 'tomach ; for dar is no piece Qb mind, while you hab de wind rumbling in de 'tomach. It pake so mutch noise dat it 'sturb do mind all de time. Dat is de lass diwision ob de subjeck, and your 'spected preacher hope 3you bother him no more 'bout ,de matter. He hab labored in dis winyard till he 'quire rest, and hope you make up collection rite of to send hin to Sopus for de benefit ob his helf, Cesar will darfore pass round de hat for 4s ticklar 'casion. LAGER-BLATTER'S LECTURE. Mine goot Peoples : I shall give you dish text at dish time:. ' Strike! for your native land!' Dish shall pe von text for de soldiers-te prave soldiers of to Hollands, vich is to pravest soldiers in to vorld! You shall hear of Admiral Von Tromp who shall sweep. all to seas mit a proomstick, like mine vife shall dr apout fifty Yankees out of te house von toy shall not pay for to schnapps. Von Dutch voman shall flog two Englih and five Yankee. Von man shall see tat to text shall not'p right for to Hollands,-as it should pe, strife fo r native vater, pe- cause to Hollands vash live under vater; pute pe- thinik ye shall pe vo fish. Ve shallvbuild houses on to vater, and shall not live in to voters. To land ishs otter deir and you shall have to vaters to vash everything clean. It shall pe petter ven youish have to land and water both. Toy teell ou strik te for your native land, But toyshllno stik fr eir native land here-to Yankees page: 52-53[View Page 52-53] 52 COMIC LECTURES, &C., shall not strike. You see all tat in te Texas and Horri- gons sure enough. If dish Texas shall' pe in Hollands you shall see to king raise von large army ,right off and shall go mit te swords and to drums and te flags of truce and shall cutoff te heads of all te Mexicans and burn up teir houses, and shall make tem all change to religions and have von right religion, sure enough. But te Yan- kees shall be afraid to go teir to fight : tey shall not strike for their native land. Tey shall pe von goot for rotting. Yen you shall see to Dutch fight, ten you shall see some- ting tat shall pe like; for tey shall pe to soldiers tat ish more petters as netting at all. Vy shall notte Yankeesg to te Horrigons and pull ont ter long sword and cut off te heads of te British. It shall pe pecause tey shall pe afraid, sure enough. If tey shall not pe afraid, ten tey shall be teir, sure enough. If te Yankees shall go to war mit to Dutch, ten you shall see how tey will make te Yankees run. Te Dutch vash so prave ven tey fight mit te British, tat te british hall be afraid to come at all, and teir shall pe no fight. Tey shall pC afraid to get such a licking as never shall pe, and tey stay at home.. Ter shall pe-von otter way tat ve, in mine country, shall strike for our native laud. Ven ve shall strike te flag. Ah !-nobody shall strike to flag q vell .as tey do in to Hollands, yere tey shall strike it a great many time for to natives land. Mynheer Von Schatts shall put around te plate to-day. YANKEE LETTER. Mistur Printur: Ant Jenning has had the tooth-ake so bad for the last .fortnit that she sez it. seems as if she' couldn't liv. Sum of the nabors hav' axed her to hav' it pulled out: but she couldn't think of it. The dooktor's pnrintice was up heer tother day and argufied with her an BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTER- our about it: they talked and tauked, but she beet him so that he couldn't say another word; for ant is grate on an argument. Arter he went away, the dockter cum up him- self, and tauked most butiful to her about it. He telled her about old Missus Ring that had a tooth pulled, and she held up her mouth and let him put in the pinchers without saying a single word till it was cleen out of her head. The dockter coaxed and coaxed, and they tauked over all the news in, the place, bekase the docktor thort he could git her to hav' it pulled if he telled her allthe news, and he gits 25 cents for every tooth that is pulled out: but whenever he showed his thing, with its terrible head to it, she wouldn't let him put it in, but she squeezed her lips together,'and telled him it would be the deth of her. At last he went off without pulling it out: but i can re- member most of the news that he yelled ant, bekase i was in the room all the time. He sed that Jeemes Brown and Seraphina Grissle was sartinly coarting won anuther, artery all that was sed about it by Sarah Prestin, the old made. I spouse you've all cheered that.Sarah sed it wooddend nevver be a match, bekase Saraphina couldn't endure inions, and Jeemes was horrid fond of 'em. But the docktor sez they will sartin- lybe marred, bekase he seed Seraphina mending Jeemes's pantalons. ,besides that, the dockter telled us about Jim Jewel and his wife. He sez that -they hav' been married only three munce and that they quirrils and fites like cats and dogs. -He sez that the last time he went their he cheered 'emn tocking verry violent, and so he stopt and listened at the dore, as he bleevedit his dooty to hear what they sed. He heered Jim say to his wife, 'i'd-as live kiss a skunk any day as to kiss you. Then she sod--.'Oh, yes, but i saw you looking at the page: 54-55[View Page 54-55] 54 COMIC LECTURES, &O.,' nasty good-for-othing Susan Burd all the time you was) in church. r You'd like to kiss her with her long, black neck, anifrusty teeth, i no verry well.' Then he sed-' She's better lookin' than you bee, at any - ted- - rate.'S Then is wife scotch up the pudding-stick and telled him that if- he sed that agin she wood thrash him within a inch of his life Then the doctor opened the dore and went in, for fewer sum boddy wood be kilt. As soon as he went in, they was both as still as mice, and called each other 'my deer' as long as he staid their. He sed that if he haddened over- heerd them, he should hav' thort they wos a very happy couple. Then he teller us about old Joe Dickson hoo doant ex- h pect to liv' long and hoo doant no hoo he shall leeve his property to. The minister tells him it is his dooty to leeve it to the church, and the docktor tolled him he ort to leeve it for to establitch a skool for larning doctoring, and offer- ed to taik charge of it when he dyed. The docktor telled us abut Maria Goose, the old made, hoo is in love with all the men she seas. He sed that she telled him she couldn't do much longer without a man, and azed him what was the reising they didn't have her. He telled her bekase they want able to 'presihate her re- bill ties; but he teller us that it wos bekase she had sitch a long knows and a chin, and bekase that her breth was like cats that lay in the sun a weak arter they hav de- parted _this life~. The d or telled us a great many other things, and amungst the rest, about a feller that dresses spruce and wares straps to his pantaloons. named George Dump. He sez that this feller his gin, me a good karkter and sehi was hansum and all that sort of thing. I never seed him but once, but i suppose that was enuff for me to taik his BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LASERBLATTE-55 i. When i cum to ax him more about it, hesedthat Dump was so scrusly in love with me that their was no.doubt he wood go crasy or commit homicide if i didn't give him sum hoaps. Arter the docktor was gone, i put on my bunnit and went up to see Sally Lewis hoo is acquainted with Dump, and telled her to tell Dump that he mite hay' hoaps; and Sally stared at me as if i wos a gost or a Swedenborg- iannite, and she axed me if i didn't no that Dump was engaged to be. marrid. i felt mad enuff when i -heered that and i flew out at her like a re4pepper. At last she axed me hoo telled me that Dump was in love with me, and when i yelled her it was the docktor, she busted rite out a laffiug, and she aed that he telled all the gals that they was hansum, and that the fellers was in love with 'em. I intarmined to find out the rites of, and i got Josef to ax Dump if he had any thorts of committing bommicide on my acount, and he sed he hadn't thort of yet, but he diddened no what he mite do, and then he snickered out a'laffing like a grate kafL - Them's all the nuce up heer at present, tho' i think i shall get a bo in the spring, as their will be a kamp meating hear and then their is always a plentee of bo's from other parts, and it's queer if i can't pick up sum fel- ler, and if he doant hav'me i can soo him for breech ot promiss. SAwY TUNNIL. DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURE. BelubbedBruddren: Owin' to the circumstance dat your spected preacher hab-been pointed a missionary to Babylon on Long Island, to convert a injin squaw dat libs m dat worcinity, he shall take de follerin text: 'Oysters! oysters i here your weon tasted oysters 1' page: 56-57[View Page 56-57] 56 COMIC LECTURES, &C', Dis is do 'pensive language ob dem 'possles dat cry aloud and spare not ; dey lilf up dar voice in de 'treet, and dey cease not day nor night, bekase dey git darlivin' by it. I spose you all noe dat de icester am a quadruped dat libs in a shell, one Cn de top and de. todder on de bot- tom. Dis ar de case wid de icesters, among de nuts. He is a live nut habing shells and meat in de inside. De fust diwission ob our text 'spress de word 'icesters.' Dis hab no lusion to icester bay; but it 'ply dat it is not only a icester, but more dan one icester., I 'splain him fer you, Spose Peter Widgeon 'tand up in dis pulpit 'long side ob your 'spected preacher, den dar is more dan one man in de pulpit, Darfore dis is de sense ob de text-dat dar ar icesters and not icester and not icester, and dat is more dan one icester. Dan dar is anudder 'ting 'bout dis -mat- ter. Praps dar is sum people ob color in dis 'ouse dat nebber hab de 'wantage ob an eddication like your 'spect- ee preacher. Dey may 'tink dat icester is -de. same ting as a clam ? Dar now ! take keer how you 'rest de script- er tell you 'spressly dat dis is a icester and 'not a clam. How you''spect to save your sins if yotn 'tarpret scrip- tur in)dis way ? I tell you what, niggar, if you come to dis house and larn nossin heah, you will go away widout de sense of scriptur. De second 'diwission ob our text am de word 'oysters' again. Dis is bekase de fust icesters and de wulgar uiean- ing, and de second icesters am spiritual. Dar is a differ- ence 'tween de fust kind and de spiritual kind. De spirit. ual icester means de word dat is preached-by your 'spect- ed preacher. Dem dat has de true faith open dar mouth and swall 'em down widhout winking. Dat is de way de word should be received. It should be swallowed- down hole in dat manner. But you tink you 'spected prea- cher diwide do word. Yes, you rack scorpions, but how does he diwide it ? He ,'wide it in do raw state. He BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICHI LAGER-BLATTEI- 57 open de mneanin' ob de text'like openin'~dat quadruped called icester, and den he gib you, de meat to swallow. De odder diwission of our 'text hab de words-' Here's your well tasted oysters !' .What is de meaniil' ob dis? I tell you. I spose you hab seen them plug a wattermil- lion; well deytaste 'em fust before dey buy. Berry well now yon undertan' 'em andwe go to 'prove upon de hole Dat colored lady dat libs in Patty Jenkin's suller hab 'greeddto whitewash dis lIouse. Dis hab ticklerr 'lusion to de subject ob icester; bekase de lime is made ob ices. ter shell and clam shell, and de whitewash is ,made ob lime. Darefore icester'plies a clean bach, as lime makes 'tings clean. Your 'spected preacher hab eludedd dat he nebber will hab dis house whitewashed no more;- bekase is is 'proach agin de people ob color. He will hab a new kind ob black-wash invented ; def de house will be color- -ed as well as your 'spected preacher and de rest oh do congregation.- Sumboddy took de handkercher out ob your specterd preacher's pocket by mistake. If he bring it back, no question will be axed him, as it will 'peak for itself. Sum ob dem white boys in do gallery dar put awdrownded kit- ten in de hat todder nite, when it was passed 'round. I 'speck dey nebber was well brought up-er dey noe better dan to bring dead kittens in dis place. Arter dis discourse, your 'spected preacher mey be found in de sullar by any- body dat wants to treat. DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURE. SBelubbed Brudden: Your 'spected preacher hab been adwised to 'preach a charity sarmont for de benefit ob himself to stir up de pure mind by way ob remembrance obyour specterd preacher; for do poor you hab always wdyou, and your preacher am poorer dan any oh you in 4T page: 58-59[View Page 58-59] COMIC LECTURES, &O., dis world's goods though he am richer dan all ob you put togedder in speritual-tings. Darfore we take de fo- lowin' text:-- Expenses of printing and binding-five hundred dollars. Dis language is from de -account ob de Expenses ob, de corporation. Ue carnal mind can't understan' de sper- itual meanin' ob dis text. It hab two meanin,' for dar am two sides to ebery ting, and some tings hab four sides; but dar am two sides to our text. One ob dem is de speritual meanie,' and de todder am de carnal meaning , Do speritual meanin' hab reference. to your 'spected preacher. Your spected preacher is diwided into seven parts. De fust part is his head; de second part is his tuo arms; his third part is de body; his fourf part is his legs; de fifth part is his feet; -de six part is his heel; and de seb- enth part is his toes; all dis exackly agrees wid )de des- cription ob de image seen by Nebby Cud Neezar. Dar- fore dis image is a profficy ob you specterd preacher who dwas to come in dese last days, and dat part which says dat his toes was half toe and half clay 'lude to de fack . dat your 'spected preacher don't wash his feet berry often and de dirt get between de toes ob your 'spected preacher. Darfore de words ob de text say-' Experiences ob prin- ting and binding-$500.' Dis text must be taken in 'connexion wid de image and 'ide to de seen diwision ob your 'spected preacher; be- kase he is ob de clergy, and you know dat my coff hab de priviledge ob binding on dis airth ebery ting dat is bound in heben. Do you spose dat if dem dat. does dis binding in dis world hab $500, dat your 'spected preacher is to hab no pay for binding tings in heaben. Den dar is de printing too, which 'lude to do fack dat K{ BYDEAON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTER. 59 your 'spected preacher's sarmont is printed, Darfore de pay for printing and binding ought to bea good sight more dan $500, bekase speritual tingis worth more dan earthly ting. Darfore de fust dewision oh our text is your 'spected preacher's head, which answers to de head ob de image. Dis head was ob gold, and dar is some gold and silver too in your 'spected preacher's head at dis moment. Den de arms and body ob de image was silver; your 'spected preacher, wish to take silver in his armns. Arter cum de feet which is iron and dat am de. color ob your 'spected preacher's feet. His feet am brack -like iron. Darfore dis am a true profficy ob your ' pected reacher N ow we look at de seben parts of -your'spectedpreaher. In de fust place comes de head which quiress a hat to put on it.- Den his hair must be dressed by de barber and he must get shaved. Now all dis 'quire de expence ob twenty dollars a year for de head ob your 'spected preacher. Den ,dar is de arms and body ob your spected preacher which 'quire coat and west, and shirt, and cravat and collar, and do 'hole expence ob dese in a, year am a hundred. dollars for de arms and body ob your 'spected preacher. Next comes de legs, and dat 'quires to be clothed, his breeches and drawers which am de expence ob -a hundred dollars in a year. Den comes de feetand toes which 'quired shoe and tocking and dey am de expense of fifty dollars a year, and dare is de cloak witc5 am fifty more. Darfore de seen diwisions ob your 'spected preacher 'quire do sum of 320 dollars for one year. Den dare am 180 dol- lars left and dat is 'quired to pay his bill at de sullar, to wash his close and black de boot of your 'spected preach er. Darfore 'you see dat it amount to jest $500, which agrees exackly wid do text, and prove dat do text 'hide Daror stehal reerupon do 'hole oh your 'spected page: 60-61[View Page 60-61] 60 COMIC LECTURES, &C., preacher. Do you think dat you make up dis 'sum by droppin' a cent in de hat once in a while?. You better look out how you 'fraud de treasury ob de church. On dia count dar will be a fair got up topay all de expenses ob youth 'spected preacher. 'We shall hold de fair in dis place on de thirty fust ob febuary. De follerin' articles will be exposed of on dat 'portant casion-:- A pair ob nit drawers worn by our late friend and brud- der Sam Jonson. Five tLousand gross ob tracts rit by Massa Miller to prove de profficy. Fifty quarts ob clam took out ob de shell. A red rooster warranted 1o whip any odder fowl ob de kind in dis part ob creation.' A silver watch dat is all complete, and wants nossin but new insides to it, as de works is not dar. A thousand ob last year's almanacs. A brick bat dat was thrown at Massa G--, in de great bobbolition riot. A lot ob jewsharps widout any tongues. Seven brooms widout any~sticks to 'em. One side ob a pare ob tongs. A hat brush without brussles. A likeness ob your 'spected preacherwidout de head. Besides dese is many odder articles too 'ticklar to mention. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTER. 61 LAGER-BLATTER'S LECTURE. Mine Goot Peoples: Your minister shall give you von sarmont at dish day, in dish text-- 'I had as lieve my words were spoken by the town-crier.' Dish text shall speak to you apout to preach and to way tat you shll preach.-Teir shall pe a great many ministers and only a few of tern shall know to make to preach. To text shall tell of von tat shall hire te town-crier to give to sarmont. Tat shall pe von very goot vay, sure enough ; pecause tern people tat shall not corte to church shall hear te preach too, and ten tey shall get te religion all apout to streets ; but-vere shall pe 4e plate? Tat ish to pad ting. Teir shall pe no-plate. If I shall pay to town-crier to do to preach, who shall pay me for to trouble ? Te church shall have von bell, and so shall to town crier ; so he can ring to bell and give to preach. He shall make you hear pecause it shall pe his trade to hay von voice, as it shall pe mit a pig who shall make you hear sure enough. S When I shall give mine sarmont to the town crier to speak it, he shall charge me more tan you put in to plate, else I shall hire him to do it, and-estay at home to drink my schnapps and schmoke mine pipe. Dat shall pe von ghentleman minister who shall hav von servant to do the preaching, ven he shall do nothing but vat he shallplease. I shall not hire a man to schmoke the pipe and trink th schnapps for me. I shall take tft responsibility mineself ven to schnapps and to pipe ish to subject. Mynheer Von Schmidt, Mynheer Von-OGrass, and Myn- heer Blunderhasset, shall pe to trustees of dis church. Ven you shall vant to get married, or ven you wish to be paptised, you shall go to one of to trustees to pe paptis- ed. Your minister is let aut all tem tings to tem ghen- tilemen by to job for, ten dollars a year, and you shall pay temn for teir trouble vot toy sholl charge. you. Tat shall page: 62-63[View Page 62-63] COMIC LECTURES, &.,' take to trouble off te hands of your minister, and he shall have te monish in advance all at once from tem ghen- temen,,and tey shall take it in as fast as tey shall get it-f Tey shall talk apout giving your minister von public dinner. All tem tat ish in favor of te dinner shall hold up te hand. Every von of you tat hold up te hand shall put in sixpence for te dinner. Tese tings ish pe eaten at te dinner vich shall pe so great vot never shall pe.. Tree roast turkey, von Holland's cheese, two strings of te sausages, and von bushel of cold slaw, mit haff a barrel of vinegar. YANKEE LETTER. Mster Sur: i pose you haven't heerd' nothing from down our way this good wile. The gals is generally pitty quiet and lets the fellers alone, tho' their's two of of 'em that's dreadful furce arter me awl thee time. Won on 'em is Johanna Blue. She sais she's intarmined to hav' me for a husband or dye in thee pursoot. .I spose thairs no law to maik a feller marry a gal if he doint want her'; and i've vowed that i won't hav' Johanna. Her mother maid a party and giv' me a invite, and then she ke raising Johanna awl the time we was eeting auper, end telling how she could make maik a shurt as well as she could, and how she :as the greatest housekeeper that ever lived: but'they can't maik me bleeve awl that, for her stockings ar out at the heel, and she oes slip-s' around the house awl the time. doos slip-s Every Sabbuth, she sets in her pue and looks at me as if she was going to eat me up with her ize, and once she got a pare of specktacles and put on, to maikvme think .fshe was a grate lady, so tha imite fall in love with her: but it's no kd of use: i nfall in love in my hart for her and i won't hay' her if she cries her tue ize out. Sum- BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTR. 63 times she cums up to our house, and sets nixt to me at the table, and is awfull perlite, and wates on me, and hands me the cake and bread, and axes me how i feel this afternoon. 'Once she put her arm 'round my neck and then i thort i shood hav' busted for sartain. Tother gal that's arter me is named Deliverance Grime. She lives away up by thee Skunk Pond,. and she's rather an old gal. Mother wants me to marry her, bekase she sais that Deliverance will be like a muther to me, and wood mend my close and taik kee~r of me ; but she has a long knows, and thee other day when she undertook to kiss me, she stuck it into my mouth which -maid me so mad i was a good mind to hav' bit it. Her farther and mother was down to our house tother day and they had a long talk with the old fokes jest as if I was engaged to be married-to Deliverance. They'ar dreadful ankcious to git her married off to sumboddy be- kase she is gitting old. - i mite hav' took her jist to ob-- leege thee old fokes, if she haddent hay got sitch a long knows, and you can't kiss her till she turns it out of .hee way anny more than you can go into our cow yard before the gate is pushed open. '1'other day the old fokes left us loan, and then Deliver- ance sot a wile lookin' at me, and arter a bit, she takes a long breath and lookt cross enuff to bite a feller, and sais, - Seams to me you're not verry soshible to thee ladys too day Simeon.' I felt mad bekase she looked so ugly at 'me, and sais i -'Mebby i aint and mebby i am.' Then she giv' a consarnned grunt, and put up her han- kercher to her eyes. These femail critters can cry as easy. as it ranes in April, and i'd seen sitch things be4. There was Alpheus Hopkin's wife, the shewmaker, hoo use to cry whenever she wanted a new- bonnit,- tho' her tother- won 'was better than she desarved. At last he broke her page: 64-65[View Page 64-65] 64 COMIC LECTURES, &C., of that by giving her a good strapping whenever she maid a fuss, and as sune as she had to cry for sumthing, she left off crying for nothing. So when Deliverance put up her handkercher, i-begun to whistle as loud as i could. Then she stopped crying bekase it was of no use; and-when she pulled away her handkercher, i seed that there want a single teer on her face-it was all purtence, like that. infernul niggar that sold us a pig last winter, 'and cum back and stold it the same nite. i was so mad i was a good mint to hav' cotch her by the throte and choked her out of the room. Then she lookt at me agin, and when she seed i didn't speek, she axed me if i didn't no thatfather and muther wanted ewe should be united in the bondage of weedlocks. i telled her i didn't want nothin' at all to -do with her, and that i wouldent 'marry her for her wate in sollid goold. Then she axed what i noed agin her carakter, that i wooddent hav'her. i telled her crakter was neither hear nor their, that i wooddent hav her if it was nothin' only her long knows. She sed her knows was just 'as God maid it. i tefied her that so was the old sow jest as God maid her; but i cooddent think of having her for awl that. That stumpt her, and she jumpt up ynd went out of the room, and sed she would tell, mother how i had suitedd her, and she would haverevenge for it. Jest as she was going out -of the room, Johanna Blue cum dancing in and met her in the dore. Then you' ought to hav' seen what a time there was. It was like tue mad cats tied up together in a bag. In the fust plaice, they both lookt rite at each other as red as a live cole, and past by a few steps. Then they both turned and thee fur flew like a snow storm. They called each other all sorts of names, and I bleeve that if' mother and father haddent run between'em, they wood hav' bit each other's heads off. As for me, 'i diddent keer how soon they BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTER. 6 kilt one another. i wish they'd both staid away and leeve me aloan. If they want to git married so bad, Sam Botts will hav' 'em both. Yours forever, SIMEON BUGGS. LAGER-BLATTER'S LECTURE. Mine goot Peoples: Dish vat shall pe te text to-day ish in de vords: He little dreamed, when he set out, Of running such a rig. You shall set out a great many times ven you shall not know ver& you ish going Tat shall pe te meanings of dish text tat I shall give you. Ven I shall set out to come to dish country ten years ago, I shall think I vos be going to a country vere to folks shall pe civilized like tey shall be in te Hollands. Your minister shall find he shall be got into a place yore to men shall not know how to schmoke te pipe and, to vomans shall not know how to skate Vot sort of lad shall you call tat, yere to vomans shall not skate ? - Ven you shall get married, you shall not know vere you ish going ? You shall tink tat teir -vill pe notting but honey-moons, and tat your vrow vill be von such good vomans as never shall pe. But you find out very soon. It shall pe like ven you buy a gold chain at to auction shop. As soon as to guilt shall be rubbed off you find she shall pe rotting but von piece of coppers, mit plenty of brass in to face. Sometimes you shall set out to come to church, and you shall shall see von shop mit topacco and schnapps, 'and shall go in their and sell your prayer-book for something goot. Ten you go. yore you shall not expect to go von page: 66-67[View Page 66-67] 0 3 ' COMIC LECTURES, &C., you shall set 'out, true enough. Tat ish very pad, but' teir shall be worse as tat. You shall tink you ish go to. heaven: but you shall find ven you never pay for' te preach mit te monish in te plate, tat you shall.go some- vere else. You is be run von rig ven you. get to te otter place ' and ten you say you never, vash tream ven you set out. Ten you shall tream someting petter now. Te text shall tell you apout von treams. Vat shall you tink of tat? Shall you not, pelieve in von treams ? Teir shall pe no treams in dish country: but in mine country, their shall pe much tream. You shall tream of von cat, and you shall have von enemy to bite -you in 'de back, sure enough. You shall tream of te fires, and you shall fight mit somebody and get von plack eye. Ah! tat shall pe a country vere you shall have tream. Teil shall be Finn in mine country from te Finlands and he shall pe like von vitches to tell-you vot shall come to pass yester- day. He shall be acquainted mit te tuyvil as vell as you shall pe acquainted mit your minister. He shall tell your fortune in everyting vot you shall ask him. Tat shall pe te Finn vat shall pe in mine country. But in dish country, you shall have no Finn, nor vitches, nor tream, nor notting at all but te politics. YANKEE LETTER. Mister Edditor: i taik my pen in hand, in hopes that these few miserable lions will be excepted in youre paper and hope you be enjoyin' the sameblessin.' It is of a : millancolly thing that has happened in these parts and has maid a tok all over the villedge and the minister has been up their to see about it and feyther sez he shoodi't wonder if their wos to bee a law soot about it. It is of a. .artuous gal that is of a relation to us wich BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICR LAGER-BLATTER. 67 maiks it the more dreadful.. She is enermost 04 year aig and has been -sedoosed by a prom ass of .mariidge by Sighlass Konklin. She has got only one eye and the squire sais that Sighless got the blind side of her. Her name is Mehitable Goodenuff and she was down tofeyther's and she and mether had a grate cryin' spell about. it, and she telled how he cum up their and how he sedoosed her ten- der hart and she rote hint a letter. I heered all about it up town where i went to carry corn to the mill. You sea that Sighlass had got himself a new soot of gray close and he greeted up his shoes and went to meetin'! So Mehitable seed him. cum into the nixt pue to the one that she sot in. So she handed him the him-book out of perliteness, but she sais that if she had none how he was goin' for to akt, she would hav' let him find his own him-book. Then to think of it, that he was only aiteen yeer old and he go to sedoose a ooman that was old enuff to be his mother ! That looks a grate deel wuss' than if he had took a gal of his own size, for it shews that he had no respecks for old aige. So when she give him the him-book, he took and turned over the leaves, and Mehitable watched him all the time, and he didn't read a bit. Then she kinder leaned over the side of her pue and laid her arm on his'n thinkin' no harm of that as he was so inutch the youngest. Then she telled him softly that she should like to have him call at the house andsee 'em. But he didn't call all that weak and she thort it was-very disrespectful. So she put on her things, and went up to his feyther's house, and she axed him the raisin that he hadn't been down to sea her and she axed' him to go out and wok with her into the. woods. So he went out with her and then she toked to him very lane, and she axed him if he wasn't ashaged t6 use his parts to captivate hier tender hart, and to pretend that he page: 68-69[View Page 68-69] 68 COMIC LECTURES, &C., wa all in flames on account of her, and she asked him if he ne w what was th e punishment for desateful lovers, an, she told him that she new it was her duty to forward himd and axed him if he wasn't sorry for what he had done and for bein' a gay d-seaver. Then he up'd and telled her he didn't no what she ment and sed how he never had d-'seav- ed her at all! Then you may think how she felt to hav him as mutch as tell her she lyedi!!! So she felt so bad about it that she laid her head - on his boozum and wept aloud. Then i spose that he begun to repent of his bad conduct, for he telled her that he never intended to hurt her. That olny ma d her cry wuss to think that he should tell such a rong story like.. Then Mebitable telled him she would forgiv' him be- kase it was her duty to forgiv' them that injures us, and she took hold of his hand and laid it on her boozun and be sez she did it to show him that she had forgiv him in her hart. But he wouldn't confess that he had d-seeved her. So she got up off the stump that she was settin on, and she telled him that he had very handsome eyes and then she put her arms around his neck and kissed him, and sais she--' Now Silass, i hav' fulfilled the scriptur and i hav forgiv you for d'sevin' me and tryin' to brake my tender heart, and i think it is yure duty to give me a prom ass of marridge to show me that you didn't meen any harm ; for if you don't do it, i shall hav' you taken up for tryin' to sedoose my virgin' hb t!' So she sez that he odded to her, and you no that was as much. as to say yes, and so it was his prom ass of mar- ridge. So she went rite of to the town clerk to get pub- lished, and he went down to Sighlass's fokes to ax 'em about it, and don't you think that this good-for-nothin' Sighlass denied the hull thing and sed he had never prom ised-to hav' her! So then poor Mehitable went into all the nabors and BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTER. 69 told how her virgin hart had been sedoosed. And she went down to the squire and teelled him and wanted him to taik up Sighlass and sew him, for she can prove that he had been veerry attentiv' to her, and old Missus'Minton can taik her oath that she seed him taik the him-book from Mehitable in church, and saw him and Mehitable whisper together : and then old Zechariah White can swear that he seed 'em goin' to the woods together and that she leaned on Sighiass's arm. There never was sich a dredful case of seduction none in these parts ; and Miss Floyd that belongs to the fee mail morral reform society has.been round with a paper to hav' it signed by everybody to get Sighlass put into the county-house, and their is goin' to be a track rit about it. So mother and Mehitable wanted i should rite a leter all about it to be put into your paper, to see if the Bos- town fokes wouldn' send a constable up hear to take Sigh- lass up and hav' him put in prizzing. Yours to sarve, OBED SQUASH. DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURES. Belubbed Bruddren: Dis child ob color habde saxifica- tion to 'dress you on dis 'portant 'casion in dose words for de text--- 'When he cum, he 'no cum, And when he 'no cum, hecuim.' Dis 'spress de fax ob de bird that cum in winter when- ever de 'no is on de ground. It hab 'lusion to dat bird and am berry 'ticklar in consequence ob de fack. You know berry well dat 'no am diwided into a great many parts. Dar am de'no ball, de 'no flakes, de 'no drift, and de 'no storm, Darefore we 'peak to you about all desejn de fust place, and den we descend to de 'no bird herself. Do 'no ball am in de hand topelt fokes. Tony Ducklings page: 70-71[View Page 70-71] hab made a big 'no balland hab rolled him up again his. sellar door out ob charity for poor people to -set down on when. dey ar tired ob wakin' wicham werry kind ob dat gemman. When your 'spected preacher was gwoine down Union 'treet todder day, dar was a clark in a hardware 'tore dat' fling'no ball and hit your 'spected preacher on de bak. Your preacher turn roun d dirackly and went to fine de boss of dis clark, and he 'form de boss how he was hit on de bak by de clark on dat portent 'casion. Den de- boss of dis clark, and he 'form de boss how he was hit on de bak by de clark on dat portant 'casion. Den de boss ax if your. 'spected preacher was oh a 'spectable family and as soon as he tell him dat he was deacon Snowball, de boss say dat he should hab saxifaction and de young clark promas to 'scribe to~ de Yankee and read de sar- monts ebery week, for de benefit oh his sole and hope he 'prove 'pon it and larn better dan to 'no-ball your 'spect- ed preacher. Den 'bout de 'no-bird is de todder division ob de' sub- ject wich am spiritual, and 'lude to variety of parts. Dis bird signify Love Jackson who is coming from Long Island to be a help meat for your 'spected preaoher. Dar hab been so many times dat your preacher hab been 'gin de bag by de sex ob color and odder fokes hab got 'way de niggar gal dat he 'tend for herself, dat dar hab been a gal raised for de 'spress purpose of being a wife to him- Dis gal will cum as soon as de merchants get .dat pas- sage through de ice wich deyf tell about.. As your prea- cher hab been cut out so often by odder dispectable nig- gems, darfore de 'loved 'tended ob your 'spected preacher will be hid from the eyes ob ebery body else and at .de close ob dis sarvice, we will- take up collection to 'fray do expense ob buying a canvass bag to put' ober do head ob dis angel~ ob color, whilst she is on her way from Long Island, dat nobody else can see her face and fall in BY DEACON SNOWBALL A 6vbj)I flo -LGTE ~ lab wid her and out out your spe ted+pleacher. She will hab her face- kivvered up till she open her eyes upon de charms ob your 'spectedpreacher. De friends ob your preacher tink dat she will be ber much struck when she looks upon your spected preacher for de fust time, and dat like de qu een of Shebear she will say dat de one half hab'nebber cheered tell on before. On dat 'portant 'casion, your 'spected preacher will be seated on a high stool to-'splay ebery part ob his person to .'wantage. He will be rest in a red west, cordiroi pantaloons, rack c ote, and pump and white 'tocking Tese will be de divisions ob your specterd preacher on dat 'portant 'casion to 'tract de lub ob dat fair sect, de lubly Love Jackson, whose ladder and mudder was raised on de farm ob Walentine Hicks, in dem parts. De wed- ding will be berry select. None will be 'wited dart but niggars ob de fust 'spectability and 'portande. Sophy Wheelock, Sally Cropper, will be 'speckted to stay away from de wedding, and none ob dem ladies ob color who hab giben your 'spected preacher de bag will be waitedd at all. De next diwision am de 'no -drift, when de 'no' gets up in a great help, and you can't get through 'em. Dat is berry 'portant. Peter Jonsing lost off one ob his boot in a 'no drift, de.todder nite when he was gwoine home from de party obaister Chunks, and Tenperance Briggs dropt her bustle in anodder drift, and she hunted arter it two hours and don't 'spect to get it till next spring when de no am all melted. De next division is a 'no-torm, and dis am de most'por- tant ob all. To use de language ob a colored poet on dad 'portant 'casion-.'D.e hebens was dark-comeplected wid clouds ob color ! de wind rush threw de spacious walt ob heben and do storm busted forth in all de furies ob abig 'no-torm. On dat 'ticklar 'casion de birds screamed threw page: 72-73[View Page 72-73] COMIC LECTURES, &C., do air ade wind howled, and clouds ob 'no as cend fromdecfloudhien de tundeir rolled' threw de heb- ens, and de~ lightning dart his rays from polo to pole. ,In, fack it was berry bad wedder on dat 'portant icasion. De winders ob heben was open, and eberybody hab to use a umberilla.' Darfore you will please to pass round de hat, and you wbn't forget de canvass bag., YANKEE LETTER. Farther and me went down to town about a month ago. We took Temperance with us to see the wonders of the town. We rid down in the waggin with old sorrill. When e got down to Charlestown, we required the best house to ptrup in. So thay telled us the bunker-hill tavern was the mst 'spectable, and we went and put up their. You ought to hav'seed how we lived their. We had the vittles got all reddy for us, and sot on the table before we was called in, and their was noosepaper their in the bar-room for foks to ride. It was all dredful fine. And their was a legslatur mian that put up their, and that was dredful to hink on, for we was awful afeared of him. He use to stand up by the- stove and hold his cote-tales under his arms and then he had spechtecls on, and farther and me didn't dast to speek to him., Temperance seed him cum into the eating-room and take a cheer and set down to table, and when i tolled her that he was a legislature man, she said he lookt like Sir Will- iam Walliss and Thawdeus of Wassaw. She sed she wondered if he was married, and so father axed the land- lord. and he sed the man had a wife and ten children. Then Temperanee said she would retire into obscurity and bemoan her sad fate like Saffo, and queen Didoes. She sod she wished that Mary Davenport was their to rite a peaee of poetness about his noble deeds. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND la, Arter we had seen all the wonderful ear13 town, farther ent andawt one of i dery ers to carry hum fora eurosiy, Arter that we went across a great long floor that;was bileoveihe watery and then we got into the master sitty of Bostown. Their was a hull passle of peeople and places wherth they sold jingerbread. Their was hosses and carts, and at last we found a Ock-- tion. This was a plaice where they had all kinds of things to sell, you. sing out and tell how much yof will give for 'em, and him that sings out the loudest has the trade and can carry it off arter it is paid for. So farther and me went up and lookt at 'em and we seed 'em sell the most butiful things- so cheep that it was a wonder. There was a elegant watch that lo kt as if it was made of goold and it was sold for seven dollars, and thenteir was a brast-pin that was sold for forty centsso farther and i telled the ocktion man that it was a hame to sell things so cheep, it was a 'bominable waist of property I Temperance was with us, and she seed the ocktion man trying to sell a beautiful pare of snuffers that lookt like silver, 'and she tolled farther and me to sing out the bids on it.,So farther sung out 1w'enty-five cents. Then i sing out thirty cents and then the ocktion man hollered---'going' going!' and then farther hollered out fofty cents-then the ocktion man kept saying, 'going, going'-and then Temperance hollered out fifty, cents. So .he sold it to us for fifty cents, and Temperance was so afeared that sum- boddy else would get it away, that she run in amongst the men and grabbled holt on it and paid .the munny out of her own pocket. Then they lifted up a pare of trow- sers to sell and the ooktion man sed they was worth -7 dollars every cent of it,. so i hollered out the bid and sez seven dollars as ,loud as i could holler, but the ocktion man kept sayin' 'going I going!' so farther was afeared we shouldn't get the trowsers and he hollered out eight page: 74-75[View Page 74-75] 71 OmIC LT1RE, &C dollar. So artel' a while they wos sold to us for eight dollars, and we bmawt a number more thing bekase they sold 'em so. cheap. We took all our things and carried 'em over to the bunker hill tavern, and farther showed 'em all to the legis- latr dan, and he didn't say nothin' but there was a man in their hoowantedt6purtend that the thigs want worth nothing' So we moed he was tfyi g to git the things sold to him, for father is very sharp and he noes. when fokes is trying to taik him inn. So we went home with our ock- tion things and Temperance went all about the naborbude to shoe 'em her things and she telled 'em how they went- to work to git things at the ocktion. The minister's wife cum down to our house to look at the things that Temper- ance had bawt at the ocktion and their was grate doing in dur house. Jim -later um down to see the things and so he con- cuded to set p with Temperance seeing that she had a nich lot of flue things, but she 'maid him a present of a beatiful bag that she had bawt at ocktion, and so he went egh e sing and swearng like all pom-zessed. JmODEIS JamBNSoN. 1CAYOg W AWA LECTUB Be k. Bridtrer. Onie artenoon we shifl explut-' texate and abominate o dis 'poitant text ob de 'postle Gibbon: Therise andd efine of Rome." Dis text hab seven diwisions,*and de most 'portant of dern allisdorice;. asitpones.dat dar is nothin' new unr. -der de sun. You see dat dar was a massa Rice in Rome, and darfore de regina1 Jim Crow was dar as well as in die land ob your 'peted preacher. Dis massa Rice dat goes albost doecountry pretend dathbe was de fust Jim Crow' BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICE LAGER-BLATTE,'5 and in dat way he bring de reputation ob de colored pop. pylation-into contemt ; but dat am a lie, as I hab proved on disportant 'asion, as de fust massa Rice was in Rome 'cording to de 'postle Gibbon. Dar hab ben Jim Crows in ebery age ob de world*-- De fist jumpin' ob Jim Crow was Adam and Eve when'dey hab to turn about and'go out ob de garden. Den dar-was de people dat was drownded at de flood who hab to turn about and turn about and look two ways for Sunday. Arter dat was de Jews in de wilderness ar- . ter dey leff Egyp, when dey keep turning' about in de wil- derness and go all sorts ob ways except de 'traight rodo to Canaan. Dis shoe dat de population ob color am do oldest nation in de world. De prayers ob dis congregation ob color amquested for our friend Cesar Widgeon who hab got do bag from Charity Lovett. De 'ticklar case ob dis courtship am dose in'ticklar. De missus ob Charity sent for Cesar to bring a basket oh clams to de house in Union 'treet. Cesar went dar, and he rap at de door. Charity come to de door and open him to Cesar, dat de 'scriptur might be filled fullwich sez, "ra and de door will open ob herself. Darfore, when he seed Charityy she had on a new frock and a blew apron, and she look rite at Cesar and ho look at her in de eyes. So he went into de kitchen and put down de clam, and he ax her for de nissus. Den she 'tood t till before him and lookt at him sly. Cesar feel his tender hart begin to bob 4p and down andl jump Jim -u. Den he put his hand on his hart, and he look berry sly at Charity she ' like St. Poll and 'peak for himself in dose t'rtant words: 'Mirackolus lady ob color! I nebber ee you before wid dose eyes dat is in yhe. I eber de yuefo evanescence ob do olfactoy ossification dat ted d pas page: 76-77[View Page 76-77] COMIC LECTURES, &C., 16 ionoh ub in my-hart, rite away before I change my sion obubimy Mind' mk curchee and she tell him dat she'd Den Charity ae after she find out if a -he--niggar from gib him an anwe- t a -ero not. Varmount w gwuiar'oine to hab.her or not Den Cesar ax her tocome i. derullr, and she should b a ra S went t de sullar dat ebening and get a treas. o sheingnice. Arter dat she come berry often. Sustibm she inget clamumtime she take a lob- osten.sulawtie 'casion she suck a pig's foot. Den she sterbslas an eonade and warm iCe water and 11 sorts hb tgs for hersaifaction. So Cesar find dat she hab on tings and say noSgi1 'bout luv, and Cesar begun to ink he hab paid a good deal for de privilege obher com- any; e he paiake de opportunity to 'peak to her on dis panye ;and she ertend dat she wapt reddy to, make up her mind. Butelss nite, he take u pde paper and read a courtt oh do mrridge ob Charity and dat big he-niggar from Varmount. -bud De -Cesar feel dat his hopes was all slighted in do and he took "up de axe to commit sue-sighed rite off. He nd on his head tree four times, but it blunt de axe, an'. it make no more 'pression dan if he hit a lapstone. Darefore Cesar want 4eprayers oh dis congregation ob fo. He hab maid out a bill fr all de tings dat Charity hab in his shop and he 'tend to sue her rife off or de I hope you pray dat Cesar may get his iIninny back as d wittles dat she put into her at de suilar, was enuff to keep a hoss a 'hole monf. Your 'spected preacher will lectur' before de poppyla- tion of color next Friday nite upon de color ob Cain and Abel, and will prove dat Abel was a gemman bg color, d Cain was*a white man. He will also show dat de *wicked~sarpnt (dat tempted Ehe was all den oh a milk- , white, nd he will'splain d profficies and will prove dat BY DEACONSNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTE.. ' de almanac makers hab maid a mistake, bekase you may know it aint de year 1843 yet, bekase de world aint'stroy- ed, an'd de world was to be stroyed in dat year. Arter dat your 'spected preacher will deliber a coarse ob lectures on de fiddle, aiid Vat -niggar from Jarsey wid one eye, will be present totune up on dat 'portant'casion. A collection will be took up on dis 'portant 'casion to 'fray de expense ob Cesar rating Charity-de gal who hab proved herself a gay eceiver. Your 'spected prea- cher hab lost a 'tocking which will be ob no use to any one buyde owner as it am a odd one. .Darefore he 'quest dis congregation ob color to gib'it up if dey hab found de 'tocking ob your 'spected preapch er. Two hat will be passed 'round on dis 'casio --. one for Cesar and onefor your 'spected preacher. De brudders will sing de one thousandth sam wile de hats are passed 'round.'r YANKEE LETTER. To the Printer Man: Sum of the fokes up this weigh bav been righting letters to put in yre paper. :If you believe awl they tell you, you'll be stft to a ded sartain- ty. These is a kind of folks tlat don't no nothin' about the rail civilized kind o'life. I was born and raisedin this plaice myself, but i'm ben in a weigh up county and i lived their with old Zebe Barborn about 2 yeer and cal- culate that i've seen sonethin' o' life and- can 'struct you about them parts with something' that's worth a while. The gals np their is gool for sumthin' else besides put- ti' on there nue cullicows and settin' up o' nites and re- ingthe noosepapers, they have to get there one living' an' them's the sort o' gals that makes good wives for the mun- nly. Mebby you aint a married man-so i've got one pickt out for you, and if you think you'd like to hav her, i can 4 page: 78-79[View Page 78-79] COEC LEOTUREB, &C., " . bring her down to bostovi if you'll pay the expences. Her name is Patience Hoxie. She's got but one eye, but that's a good won and it's always lookin' out for themane chance. She's got a hand like a johnny-cake agd so broad that you can't see across it d a fogy day, and she11 do more work with them hands of hern than a dozen of your sitty ladies. Then she'sgot a foot that you can't get into a bushel basket and a boy t4 years old can't lift won of her shoes. You ought to see her anchil, it is as big round as a fence-post and as strong as a crowbar and her shoul- ders is round-as apunkin-for she was brawt up to work and can skin a sheep or scald a shote as quick as Jim Bangs and he's 'T foot in .aithe. She can take Jim down, for she tried it in Bill Fisher's slaughter-house, injun-hug, and.the way she flunked him wood hav maid yee stand on end. One day a miller sassed her up by the mills by Wat- te's farm, and sie giv' him a poke in the chops that maid him bend doublaud squirm like a hoss in fly-time. In, coarse she's no grate at larnin', bekase she never was brot up to that. Larnin' don't fill the crib, nor by a nue frock for the child, as the saying is; but it only maiks a seller stick up to besumo ,and go about with hishands in his pockets, with his hea down, studyin' diviltry all the time. You'll find her e good critter if you git the rite sighed of her : but if you git i - her way when she's washing, or if you don't get up when she wants the stool to seddown by the fire, she'll teach yee the law, and geb- by she'll giv yee.a kick or 2, but nothin' wus the that,' you taik it kidly and don't jaw back. I tell yee these things. bekase I want to be yer friend let yee know how to manage when you marry her. A winter feller's up hear that: seS they ha a plenty of pic n the printhi' ofiss. Well, she's grate on pie. She'llcum to the offiss and make more pie for yee than yee can use up in a fortnite. You gnust mind how you hug her though BY DEACON SNOW} AU AND DEDR10H AGE-LATTES. for if yee was to happen to hurt hur she'd putter nuckles in yer ribs like a fulling-mill. When she was at a pare last winter, she bit a feller's ear half offjest bekase he trod on her foot, for it is frost-bitten and theythink she will hay' to hay' it egt of yet. One of her legs is a trife shorter than the other, but that don't hinder her from galkia' fast, as she always uses a crutch, and will stump al ng eenamost-as fast as ican. Her breth aint so sweet yer knew, but it's as' stong as the rest of her. It's better now than 'twas, sense she's taken to eating' inions and so when she ketch her brethyou git nothin' but the smell of the inions, and every body is fond of inions. At any rate i'l bring her 4own and let you look at her for her father's very mutch on't to have her married, be- kase he thinks she'd make some good man so tarnal hap- py' - i sot up with Patience one or 2 nites jest to see how it would go, you know. She let me in the back dore, and id me ima emty barrel till the old'foes badcrawled off to bed. Then the came and lifted .the barrel and went in- ! to the room, and held up the candle to look at me, for she had cotch a bo, and she wasted to see what he lookt like. She stared at me and i stared at she, aid her eyes was as green as grass. Then she turned the barrel rong side up and pored me out on the too;. i felt like' spilt milk, and was a Jittle skeered. Thertfshe sot me up on the stove, and their had ben.a ire in it, and-the top of the stove was hot and burnt me most pleggidly :ihopt of and run about the room, wiggling like a hen with one wing. Then-she cum a long and giv me a all-fired slap on the back that ioeked my tung out about siit inches,' and she took me by the slack of my trowsis and held me rite off from the floor, and i wavered up and down like a pare of sv~ai teed her if she wouk14det e dowh'i would 4- page: 80-81[View Page 80-81] 80 COMIC LECTURES, a, coat her rite off, and if she didn't i would sware the pieces agin her, for i was nation mad. When she cheered that, she carried me along 'and opened the window and giv ie a toss and out i went rite down into a hog-pent and down i cum on a big hog that layed there asleep. :As soon as i got out of the pen, i run home, andgiv her up altogether, She's tue uncommon a gal .or me, and all the fellers up. in them parts where i worked hav to stand back when she, cums along; but if' you thick you can manage her in bos- town, i'll coax her down there. Where would you advise me to put up, if i cum down to the sitty ? She's a terrible eater, though as for that she's not per- tickler in her meals. . A pound or two of raw salt pork, a dozen or tue of taters and a quart of 'lasses will satisfy her well enuff, with a few parsnips, and a bowl of raw milk and a loaf of thine-injun bread, and praps a pumkin pie to top off with. Your servant, SETH GOOSEBERRY. A(ER-BLATTE'S LECTURE. Mine GootPeoples; I shall give you for dish tay dish text, sure enough: geen fun! meen fun!-meen fun!' Dish text shall pe taken from te newspapers, and shall pe von advertisement of to Chinese what tey shall have to. put on to skin. You shall know very wellAt te Chinese shall been no goot christian to have te preacher and te church like tey shall have temie mine country. Tey shall have teir gods made of wood, and tey shall pe made of stones too. Vat you shall care for such a god as tat vich you can see wit, your eyes? Teirfore, tey shall call it meenfun. It shall' pe very meen fun to kneel down and Wforship such a god like tern, sure enough. Bu~tey shall have zneen fun in otter places besides tat BY.DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICiI LAGER-BLATTER. 81 Tey shall have meen fan in dish country as well as in to Chinese. Teir shall pe vonmeen fun tat tey shall try mit to house of your minister. Once tey shall tie a string to to knoker of mine front door, and von string to te knock- er of mynheer Grouse on te otter side of te street. Ten tey shall knok at mine door. I-shall go to to door to see who shall pe come to see me. at te door. Ven I shall open te door I shall lift up the knocker of mynheer Grouse on te otter side of te street.- Ven I shall shut mine door, ten te knocker of mynheer Grouse shall fall down wit a great knock, and he shall come and open his door to see who. shall pe teir, and he.shall see nopody' their at all. Ten he shall shut his door, vich shall make mine door knock again as loud as never vash. Ten, at last, I shall vajch py te door, ' and next time his door shall make mine knock I shall open mine door quick and look out. Ven I shall-see nopody teir, I shall swear it ish von spook vich is te ghosts in mine own country. Ten mynheer Grouse shall stand in his door and I shall holler toihim and think he shallp6 te feller tat vash knock' Y r, and he shall think I shall pe te von tat shall kneA at his door. He shall swear at'me and I shall swear at him ; till to morn- ing comes ven I shall see te'string tatash tied mit von end to mine knocker and mit to otter end to the knocker of mynheer Grouse. Tat shall' e mean fun, sure enough. Anotter time shall pe mean fun ven teir shall pe von Dutchman boarding at min house, and he shall put his arm 'round te neck of mine vrow, and I shall slap him on to face. In te night he shall fill mine beeches full of mo- lasses, and ven I shall went to church te next day mine breeches shall stick to mine legs, and I shall not know vot shall pe te matter till I shall got home. I shall try to pull tem off ven I shall got home ; and tey shall hold on as if tey vash nailed to mine legs. Oh! tat shall pe von mean furi, sure enough. Yen I shall watched tat Dutchman, I shall show him vot shall pe mean fun. page: 82-83[View Page 82-83] COMIC LECTURES, &C', 82 DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURE. Belubbed Bruddren: On dis abs'lute 'vasion, your 'spect- ed preacher take dis opportunity to 'prove upo de follet- in' text ob de 'postle Jehorseophat, wich am in dese 'por- tant words, dat am 'dopted on dis 'casion by your 'spected preacher: "0 my bonnet--my new fashioned bonnet, My bonnet of straw I- . You hab heered ob some dat 'hab stubble for a founda- tion and build dar house on a sandy.bottom like de shop oh Simon Phillips in Lynn, But on dis 'portant 'casion de subjeck is not about de foundation, but de todder 'eend. Straw is used for de head: Straw bed am used to sleep on, butde bonnet ob straw am made -ob annoder koin, ob dat weed. De 'spectful wife ob Phenix Qionimo hab a straw bonnet. She hab it on her head at dis minnit, and you can see for yourself as she sets dar under de gallery by de stove-pipe. De bonnet ob dat colored lady hab ben whitened by de smoke oh brimstone, which is. a figge- ob de 'tate ob de sinnerfarter ho leaf dis world.. If you do not git whitened by de sarmonts ob your 'spected preach- er in dis life, you must git whitened by brimstone arter wards. TIis dis ourse am diwided into sebenteen parts, and dese parts am diwided into seventeen divisions-as de human body am diwided into two hands, and dem hands into fiber fingers apeace baring de thumbs which am called-fingers as a mare, am called a hoes. De fust diwision ob 'dis subject am de straw bonnet, which is dewided into de crown, de top, de bottom, de rim, de two strings, de two beaux, de lining, de thread to sow it on, de front, de back and de todder parts wich am 2 te- dious to mention. Darfore de hat am a proof ob de won- der ob natur', as a hoss and a cow am a proof ob de won,- der ob art.. Straw bonnits come in fashion when straw BY DEACON BNOWBAIL AbD DIRCHLAGERl-BLATTRm. g was cheap: but in de milliniom de lion, will eat straw like de ox, and dis text an a proof dat Miller is right, and dat de million m am close at hand, bekase a hess eat up de . straw bonnit ob de lady. A hoss am a lion aggeratively, and a cow am a drummer-dairy. Darfore de straw bon- nit ob de lady was eat up by de hoss, according' to scrip- tui. De second diwision out o de seventeen divisions am de lady herself. I tink she was a lady ob color, and dese am de raisins. In de fast place do smell ob de lady tract de 'tention ob de hose, and den ladies ob color don't tie dar bonnet so de boss could pull him off and chaw up de same. A lady ob color am.diwided into seventeen parts, Dis is de truff: you hab-de ,wgrd ob your'spected preach- er, and if you won't believe him, you wouldn't believe de dead. De three diwision ob die subjeck am de uses ob a lady ob color. I want you to lisson for your'spected preacher 'tend to prove dar freenologyy In dejust place dar skin is black. What you spousee am de use ob dat ? What rite hbab you to 'qir into dat tickle her ? She is jest as se was made. Den as respecks de hat, we bab hired Cesar Widgeon to carry him round and pay him by de year. When brudder Cole carry round de hatdar was tin four- pence, clam shell, chaw to back her, p knutt shell, and rotten apple put in de hat; 'but we hab reformed all dat, and now we hab Cesar, dai will be grate difference in dem tickle hers. Your 'spected preacher hab been 'wited to leo tur at de Philadelphy leckturs and de fast sibjeck on which he leek- tur will be de rice and pogees ob de population oh color, in which he will show dat dar am various kinds ob popy lation ob color. He will show dat yaller niggars am de fust popyltion ob de world who was made ob yeller clay and dey habn't changed color sense. Den de 'traight hair I,. page: 84-85[View Page 84-85] 84 COMIC LECTURES, &CO, niggers am cum from de flood, when allude people was so skeered dat dar hair stood up on eend and 'traight for de fust time in dar life : but de rail black niggers, like your spected preacher, am de 'provement on.de hole. De nigger poppylation was in danger of loosin' dar color when dey was blackened up afresh, and dese last.hab de jinuine polish on dem. DEACQN SNOWBALLS 1 WTURES. Blubbered Bruddren : On this 'portant and nefarious eain, your belubbered pastre will superinduce de saivice ;obis church wid de obserwation dat he hab dis ticklar text for dis 'p rtant 'casion, in dese words which am de text on dis 'p irtant casion- - 'Diamond out diatxond.' " ese words am to be found in de varsification ob de patriarch Beelzebub, which was pronounced at de time dat Cesar and Pompey was carried away captive into de great city of Nazareth. .Ipose you all know what diamond means. It aam de coor ob de poppylation ob color. It am rack as charcoal andshine like de face df your 'spected preacher. Darfore diamond is de figerative meanin' ob de poppylation ob color. Dey is brack, but dey iskwerry pre- cious. Dianiond is wuth gnore dan marble, ant dey sells BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND D 'DRICH LAGER-BLATTE. 85 it by de pound bekase it is precius.. "Darfore diamond cut diamond, which am de words ob our text, 'lude to de fact dat one;.niggar cut anoder niggar. How you tink dey cut 'em ? You tink dey cut .'em wid a knife ?. Dat shows your ignorance, you brack scorpions! Dey cut 'em like you see a niggar coming' and you 'fraid he 'peak to you. Darfore you cross over on fodder sighed of de 'treet, and hold up your head and pull up your collar and pretend you is lookin' at somefing else and don't see dat niggar. He look at you out ob his eye, and he tink dat you don't see him, and so you go on and take no notiss ob dat nig- gar. Dat is de case wid. de hire and de lore class ob colo- red gemmen and lady. Dey cut one anudder in de' treet. Your' spected preacher was under de necessity to cut Phillis Jonsingtudder day shehab on a old calico gown end dat was patched. Your'Ispected preacher seed her in Dock-square. She step 'cross de 'treet to 'peak to your 'spected preacher. Your preacher look at her out de cor- ner ob his eye, andrhe see dat de gowend was raged at de bottom, and he dab too much respeck for 'his cloff jou 'peak to de woman. Darfore he turn down a alley a,_d o through into''Tate 'treet. Den your 'spected preadIeimet a long brack niggar cuming up from de wharf, an your 'spected preacher pop down into Sam's sullar to get clear ob dat niggar too. Arter little while, when your 'spected preacher was reading do Boston Notion, wich am patron- ized in de sullar, dat long niggar cum down dar 4_ he offer to shake hand wid your preacher. Your preacher re- fuse to shake hands wid him, 'less he would pay for glass ob likker. Den he pay for likkpr for two; your 'spected preacher tell him dat he better'(ave his munny to put in de hat instead ob laying' it out .a de sullar in such wanito, ies. Arter he was gone, Cesar perceived dat he .had gin him a, in fourpence. If dat niggar is in do ordinance ob your preacher's woice, he is;'quested to cuip up and gib a page: 86-87[View Page 86-87] 808 co~tp.lEtIU&C doodfourpence for de tin one, as Cesar says dlat your preacher may hab de good one if he can git it. Darfore, I 'pect de long brack feller ob color will hap respeck 'for de doff, and fork over detcash. De fouf diwision ob diamond out diamond is 'de fack dat you nust cut ebery one dat don't put' munny in de hat, bekase dey show sich contempt to your 'spected preaoh- er, and de fust duty ob de poppylation obcolor 'quire dat you.'sped' your'spected preacher. A'white feller fling a a hole handful ob flour at your 'spected preacher todder day and kiver him 'all over wid.de 'boninable leaven ob whiteness.. I spose dat he envy de color Qb your 'spected preacher for I hab often tell you dat de debbilis white as chalk.' Peter Widgeon seg him up in Charlestown by de ruin ob de nunnery. DadeAdey 'fing flour on your'spec. tedpreacher to make hi&jlook -like de debbil. A bowl ob clam soup and lobster's tail will be given for de conwict- ion ob de offender. A. committy composed ob Ann Fling, Paul Jonsing, Abel. Widgeon and Charity Wheeler hab beet'pointed to.'quire into de fax ob de ease, and find out who de flower at your 'spected preacher.- No n gwoine to 'prove upon de=hole. Dis is fust beginn l'ob de spring ob de year. De ocean begins to thawso dat:ships can go ober de waters to foreign ports ang tea and sugar and all demtings to sweeten'your tea, t4:de hills begins to blossom and de stars sings for oy arp and de salter audTde sammnodyjanddo drum and do waives and de whistle proclaims de spring ob de year an ,de warious tings date is cuin to pass. De sound ob mi s heard in de sellies and in de wood 'and de rie ande noutain tops is filled wid flowers and mu- sicrand-potatoes is planteddar. Darfore we will pass de hat round: You ill pt cent in de hat an course dat is dep ob de year. D t will rope dat you are sensi- ble ohbde fack, BY DEACON-SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGE.eBLATTF . 87 Next.Sunday your preacher and Charity Widgeon. and Fring Jonsing will go down to Nahant .to enjoy de cool sea breeze, asayour 'spected preacher is in delicate helf, and 'spect to lose his appetite, 'specially as clams is get-- ting skerce. Darfore we will take dis 'cursion atbde ax- pense ob de church, YANKEE LETTER. To the Prier fan: There's a terrible feller that's cum. to live in our parts: He is six foot hie and has a brother that goes to see. He will drink more rum than any won other men that-works for father, and he sez he has licked too niggars in won day. Everyb dy up hear are afeared to say a word to him,. he's such dreadful furce fellerg You augt to hav heered him sware t a hen the other day. I stood behind the fence and lookt at him till everything turned dark be4 my ize. He was up at razing tother day in Acton. Jop Hoxie was bilding a nue barn; and when he was up their, he torked so that every one had to stand back. He telled a black boy up their that he wood swal- ler hiin $ without salt and wood chaw him up in tue min- nits! Then he ketched up a big stick of timber ad he flung it agin a fence and ript and swored and se de had licked more men than anybody else on the ground. 0! you awt to here him tock! He went into the shew-maker's tother day; and you no the shop is kepp by Seth Bunnir, and their works-their Barney Glddins, george Bounceand Amaria Stebbins They work their on there ownAccount they would tJink it a insult toYax 'em to higher out,speciallyAarafor his grandfather use to be the town-clark. So he -went-i their and he sot down onto a little bench closntupthe toe, and when they ehd him cum in,they kpte their pork and dassent look up on no accdni' hiso- ever. page: 88-89[View Page 88-89] ONI C LECTURES, &Q., So he sot and:he lookt fust at the one and then at the other; and at last he squrted out a hull 'mouthful of to bokker goose and, it fell slap on the stove, and it bubbled and sissed, and the shewmakers all jumpt rite' up, for it steered them so that they thort a airthquake was broken loose.' Then he lookt at them, and hollered out like thun- der and sez. he-'. what are you skeered of ?" Then when they heered his voyce, it steered 'em wuss than ever, andthey all huddled up in one kornor of the shop and lookt at him jest as. cats looks at a dog when they want a chanse to run and git off.' Then he took out a short pipe and sits - down on the bench with his chin on his hands and smoaks away till.he had filled the room so full of smoke it was enuff to choak yo. When they seed he was not a goin' to hurt 'em they sot dow, agin to work, bt theykepp their ize open and lookt at him to see if he went to fly at them. Amariah sot by the winder so that he cood jump out if this terrible feller cum a-near him. At last arter he had smoked his pipe, this dredful cre- tur roared out like a lyon, and sez he-"Isay, misturj/kin you maik me a pare of nice boots that will go threw fire- and water ad that is heavy enuff to stomp the guts out of ed niggar ?" The*,They was all steered agin; but Amariah was the boldest, for he has got very good currridge, and he spun kedi up, and sez he-:I don't keer if i maik 'em, if the genteman wood be so good as to let me taik his major." So the inan pulled off one of his shews, and 26ld out his f ot, and,:eze-" There! put yer grapplings on that, you. old see-gull, and see hat you du ver dooty like a Soniariali majored him for the boots, and arter he was done, he like to have fainted awa*- he was so overcome withfear like. Then he put on his shew, and got up to 88 . 4 BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTEB. 89 o and just as he was going out the door, he turned round and he speaks out as loud as thunder, and sez he- pm going hum, and I want to give all you young men a peace of advice in these werds: always treat a gentle- man and give the path to your betters, and yeu'll 4o well in the world ' Then they all got up and maid a bough, and sed, "yes, sir, we shallremember it." Then George Bounce the youngest s.kewmaker, seed that his cloke was kinder slipping off his shoulders, and he run and put its up round him as -effectionate - as he could, and sez he, "You must take care of yourself, fer if you should ketclh cold and loose.yeur valuable life, it would be a great loss to your kedntry." That was said very perlite, for George had got good laming and has been to school three winters. Well, tother day-i think it was tooseday, but i wont be shure of it. Howsumever, this wunderful fellar was at the tavern, and their cum in a little fellow from Bos- town, and his name was Bill. He cum up hear to work for old Adonijah Willets. 'Well, as I was saying. Bill cues into the tavern, and this wonderful man axed him to drink with him So they drunk a glass of bier together,. and then this dreadful feller left Bill to pay for the likker -then Bill got mad, bekase he said that the one that ax- ed the other to drink was the one that ought to a So Bill jumpt at this wunderfool fellar, and the wunderfool feller run out of the tavern and B}4 chased him a peace down the'-rode;- b"it the wunderful feller, had the longest tairs, aA herun-the fastest, and he hollered out to the people, and tolled 'em to keteh'old of Bill and hold . fast, for he knowed if .Bill otc it up with him, be niite kill him bekase he couldn't keep himself from it.So all the people run out an cotch Bill and held limast, for fear thai the fellow would turn back and smash eyer~ bone in his boddy, page: 90-91[View Page 90-91] 90 VOMJE 1OCTUBES,_&C:, Then when the feller seed that they had got bolt of the one that chased him and held him fasthe run hum as fast as litening, and he always kepp ,clear of him arterwards, forfear his temper would get riz, and he would smash all bill's=bones and have to be hung for killing him. It bill has got enny relashuus in bostown, they had best send for him rite away,for fear that he should git kilt ly this wunderful fellow. DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTUBES. B~elubbed Bruddre&: -On dis 'tickler 'casion, your 'spec- ted preacher ab got a tickler' text dat stress de senti- rment ob his ind eggs sackly. It is in dese "portant words ob Saint uy Fawkes, an' stress heseff in de fol- lerin' terms which I'm gwoine to tell you: Each bottle had a curling ear, Through which the belt he drew, And hung a bottle on each side, To make=his balance true.' In dose times ob 'peculation and dispute, 'bout de sub- jek ob bishops' which am gwoine on 'twixt de clargr, it am berry portant flat you get de rites ob de 'subjeck from the mouff"ob your 'spected preacher, who is 'pointed to dat 'puyose in de.chureh. Your belubbed preacher nius diwide de word aright or you nebber save your sins. On dis'portant 'casion, w takeude subje& ob de word ob our text andsdiwid im intfour parts, like de squar. terms ob de beef riter. In de fust place de text tell you dat each b6 had a curling ear. Wharfore de bottle belong to dem, dat lab ears and let 'em hear. In course you know dat dem bot- tie is spiritual and means de members ob de church dat am fl ob de spirit. The second diwision am de belt. Various am de kind ob Belt but de spiritual belt must go wid despiritual BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTER. 91 bottle. Dis belt is drawed through de two ears: dat hits you, brack scorpions, for de word dat is preached by you spected preacher- goes into your ears-it goes into one ear and comes out at de todder! Dat is what I hab toad you, how you cum hear to show your new close and npt to hear de word. Chloe Phillips hab got a new bonnit, and she cum hear to show dat, and dar is Charity Widge- on she hab got new red shoe, and she' cum heah to'show off dem. Now you don't prove and in dese days ob 'pec- ulation you don't know nossin .'bout de subjeck dat is gwoin on,bout a church wid a bishop and a church widout a bishop. Your 'spected preacher is do bishop ob your sole to save your sins. De odder next division ob de subjeck tell you. dat he hung a bottle on each side. What you tink ob dat? A bottle hung on each side. Dat means you ought to be hurry 'less you make your 'spected preacher balance true, and you can't make his balance true 'less you put munny in de:hat: bekase your 'spected preacher hab a little balance at de sullar; and Cesar Widgeon hab sent in his bill, and darfore you muss put your sent into de hat instead ob spendin' him for od- der ting. Fringe Johising went out todder day wid a nig- gar from Varmount to go a slay-riding. I don't know how much munny he spend: but I hab heered dat he treat her to tree glass ob wine and ix smok d herring and a bit ob cracker and cheese. Nowf all d uny had been put in de r your 'spected preacher it would hab- been saved elped him " make his lancee true" at de sul- lad Instead ob dat you lay oitour munny for all sort ob ungodly tings. Sophia Mitchel bought a .parasol todder day, and she gib haff a dollar for'it to Loue Stratton; tink ob dat, you scoripins. You tink more'- ob presarving your 'plexion from de sun dan you do of presarvinig your doie from de. page: 92-93[View Page 92-93] 92 COMIC LE CTURE8, &O., fame ob fire. Whar do you'spect dat your 'spected prea- cher will kgit his clam soup, his lobster, his root beer, his fried"eel and his bitters? Cesar 'sist on habing his pay, and h tell your 'spected preacher dat his respect for de idoffi8 not so grate as his respect for de cash in hand. Yvur spected preacher darfore 'sist dat you plank down de cash and put in de hat to make his balance true. NextSatterday is, a week when dar will be a grate bawl in do sullar. On dat ticklar'casion de orators ob de Filadelfy lectures will be dar and shake a leg wid all de young ladies ob color. Your 'spected preacher will be on bawd dressed in white top-boot and corduroy panta- loons. During de cold snap dat we hab had,-Tony Nikkles, Ce- sar Widgeon and your 'spected preacher run an express to New York. We hab de root beer cArt of Sam lHickles. and we tackle up de hoss and we set off to carry letter and package, We got as far as Dedham in one day, and den de hoss was tired and we 'top free days to rest em, Arter dat de navigation was open, and so we cum back rite off and didn't go no farder. So as we hab to bring de letters and od4er tings back, we charge for postage both ways. On dat 'pottant 'casion, we hab a letter front Jane Widgeon to Sam Phillips of Orange 'treet New York. We hab tree cards ob gingerbread for a collored lady in Central 'treet, and two letters from your 'spected preacher to a young lady ob or in Cierry 'treet. All dese was de tingsdat we hab de Express ob color. S" we hab to bring dom all back. Your 'spected preacho~i gwoine to open a coriespond- ence wid a gemman ob clor in New York to 'spue bout a church widout a bishop in de same way dat wite fokes does,:and de letters will be printed Band sold for de benefit b your bpcted preacher, to "make his balance true," Adplean off do scores in de siillar. BY DEACON SNOWBALLAND 1EDERI1O LAGER-BLATTE L r9 Your'speotod preacher will read you de twoleters dat hab passed teenn him and dat todder cloff ob color in New York. Dey am in dese works:- Rev. Deacon Lily of New York, to Rev. Deacon Snowball of Boston. Reverend and Belubbered Brudder I see you kakkel- ate to 'spute wid dis niggar 'bout a church widout a bish- op. I tell you wat, Deacon Snowball, if you take hold ob dis chile, you'll find seven bosses to ride, I 'shure you. I spose you tink yourself de berry debbil, 'kase you hab your sarmonts printed in a noosepaper. Look heredar- key, mind what I tell you. I'll whip de wool off your head if you try to 'splatterate wid dis niggat"'bout dat. You say dat you had radder rule your flock yourself dan to hab a bishop over you. When you larn dat, niggar? I tell you what, Deacon Snowball, you hab grate larnin', I know berry well;' but dis niggar can stump you for all dat. I can take de shine out ob you, Snowball. Mind what I tell you. De second argumentification dat you expose'of, you say dat dar aint cents enuff in de hat for yourself, and dat you hab got none to spare to gib to a bishop. Now I begin my splunctisoation rite off. In do scritu!, de church is always 'pared to a woman. You minW deat; de church is., de bride; she is a woman 'tanding in de sun and de moon is under her feet. Now I ax you if a woman can git along widout a bishop! Sumtines dey call it bussle, but de perlite name ob de ting is bishop f Now Iax youwhar de bishop is-put? It is ,put on de stern ob de woman. Darforeis is meant to cogitate dat de bishop ob de church is rudder oi de stern wich g d de church. Darfore dis is 'stinctly 'splained to your sa ifaction,'under de bigger ob a woman, and! hope you a nossin 6'bout it on. -ly ax de'paedon of dis niggar or 'sputingawid him, wen you see I4wiip you all to pieces. Look here; Snowball, di nigti- ig.from ole Wirginny, and is none of your Long Island breed. r' page: 94-95[View Page 94-95] Dar is a sassy niggar lives, up in Broome treee, caled BillJumboand when dis child teled lIimdis comparison how dbishop is de rudder to guide de church-he-tell me dat it signify anudder tingydat de clargy way always behind de age. I took hold of his wool and his ey 'tick out : ke a lobster, bekase he 'peak evil of dignities! I hope when you rite to.dis child ob color dat youtwill keep a civiltongue in your headfor I can lick you, niggar so mindyr eye Your belubbed brudder, DEACON Lur. Deacon Snowball to Deacon Lily. NUMBER TWO. e wund and J3elthbered Brudder: dis spected preacher ob de 'criptur' hab got your letter, dat is rite from New York, and tink'dat de Wirginny breed are all jaw like a sheep's head: You 'tick up for a bishop. Ispose.dat you 'want to be bishop y6rself. if1t tell you 'bout dat, nigger. If you cum heiih to IBosson and say dat, we'll scald all de rack skin off your niggar boddy-.you black scoripin dat am a disgrace to de poppylation ob color. YQu say dat youban lick dis niggar( Ogm heah den and try it, you wenemous wolf in sheep-s in! You say dat a woman wears a bish- op, and difore dat de church .oust hab a bishop. You tink you cum over dis niggar 'in dat way? De churTh am 'pared to a woman, hut you tink it is a white woman; but itam a lady ob color, for if de woman'was 'tandinginde sun, don't you spose de. sun tan her brack? darfore de chrch is p "red to"a lady ob color, and den ladyob color disnwear bishop haff d time. Dar am Temprance Dar- by,MabDe ary les, Ann Widgeon, an4Char.- ity u o.r r eber wear a busslease dey's so fat i odttick o Darfore de lade ir iy, whar you cum from, don't wear bosle and hab hardly g|ot a petticoat to put on. Recolleot $lt worn- an in de sun was o you tin she wore a bishop .bei woods. Go and see dea yimwe: datilinde wild ese ai'd see if toy hob got'any bishop aon 4ar Darfore you am used up and can't say another word and as[ hab beateyou all to pieces.it 'is your treat. I'll hab a glass ob lemon punch in det sullar and a quart lob clam soup, and you may pay r ce same, bekase dis nig- gar hab beat you. Your belubbed Brudder, DEAoN Nb6WBAL. it * 4- , - _ . ,. W page: 96-97[View Page 96-97] _ 5 C m aIC , L (1 UTU , & d el LAGERBLATTElWS LECTURE. - Mine Goot Peoples: your text vas been in dese vords; "When we have squeezed the orange dry, we throw a way the rind." Dat ish to vay to do business. Ven to orange is dry, vat shalgou vant more of to orange all to time. It shall pe only to peelings as you ish put in to cakes, or you shall fling ten on to street, and to black nagurs shall pick tem up. An orange shall, den, be verry difference from von pretty girl. When you squeeze to orange, you shall throw him avay, but vendou squeeze to pretty girl, you shall take her to be your vrow. But you shall find von otter meaning to dish text ish to pe explained by your minister, sure enough. Ven .you shall have von friend dat shall not know much, you shall ask yourself to his house and trink te health of to whole family, and trink te health to his goot vrow, and shall eat yourown health; and you shall borrow his money, and ven his moneyish all gone, ten te orange is squeezed, and you fling h y, sure enough. Ten if he shall ask to borow von f.ing of you, you shall send him to de poor house, eoause to orange shall pa vorth notting ven it ish squeezed. }4ti _ t r 1 , '0 t BY DEACON SNOWBAiLL AGER-BLATE. If you shall pe von vory a tat hash te monish, and yd af id buy plenty of goot clothes i 4 d a n you shall ,nd oUt Pit o a t orceiyou shall run a y, sure en. Vie~ t iuband sall y squeezed dry, you shall throw aa; tei. 'a shalipe like te vrow of Myrheer Yanstandt who shall love him all to pieces like vot never shallpe, ye es& pe in to fresh pork bizuss and shal ake sasagea et pod buddings, and head cheese, and sour krout. ;all marry hinm and grow so fat tat you sall nottol h eyes shall look at you. I shall heard tell v nday how much she shall eat of te hea .cheese; her husband shal go abouteverywhere, to brag how mach h eeye hi vrow shall eat. But, after all te day, Mynheer Yawtant shall fail all to pieces. Te offcer shall ere to ; carryoff all to head cheese, and toe sauage,ad to ienthesa and to chairs and tables, and te sofas out of house V his vrow shall see all ter. tinge going outof te house, ton she shall go too. -She shall notelove her bsbandiho more so goot, pecause to ornge shall been all squeezed out and to rind isli goot for ntiting,pec a e she annoa her husband intoca ke. -Ten she ii n diut allat once tat her :husband salie von verda d she can't live n'it him. She shalf ge vodive at court, and her fader shall pe hier net reN.h shall get von divorce, den she shal a grinder, Vat shall hae plenty of i Ya* ther preeches. To" PrinrAitaimyEn t.- thesetew meserahieesp tha the same bleii 1.Md page: 98-99[View Page 98-99] 98 CSC, TIi &c. in Bostown is ge ,ga rode m 4 over the ice from Bos town to englandQ tht tbe steeboat ken go acrossand how some feh gene to e and on the ice. Sister Temperance and me a o o iknoe if its trew, bekase if it iswe shall tacke up he wagging and cum down to take a drve oer to ebgland next week and see that queenictor tht we've heard so much about, and that has got so in g babies, Sister Temperance wonders if Victory wo'tlet h have, one of the little critters jest to bri jt borne and show it to mother. We will treat it well: T carry it back if the ice dont thaw too quick- P~tgr Richardson would like to g' with us, and he is Temperancesbo;andso i spose you want to noe how that happentfoTe eranee hadn't got no bo when i rit to i you thedast time.; " Y _age that peter cum to our house last fall to help pickp"en on haffs, Well he use to work till very late, as the day was kider short, and it was dark be4 he got hum. When he got hum, we was all dun supper, and so 'Peter would go into the kitchen and-ind nobody-their but sister temperance, and she was a cooking of his suRer. Arter she got it on the table, and it was pudding and milk, then she wouldgo into the best room to' the closet andt brig out a bit of presarved quince and put it on a' plate b.hiss bowl, all nice as satything. .,Then he seed that she was tender-hearted like, and.had a feeling for a feller ,a'one wood say. So he wood; look up at her as he was iat andwood nod his head, which was as much as toBay thnkee, you noe. Arter a while, Temperance got so that when she pui on4he bit.e"uince on the table,.she would kinder let her frock rub agin his elbow, and it felt so kinder soft and bq ot himthat it took away all his apatight, and mot hriIed h that bekase 'it saved vittles. Then Tem- pepace got to'gtoppin' in the kitchen till he was, dum BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICE LAGER- MATTER. eatin'. She sot up in the corner- at first and. wood look on, to see if he wanted anything. He dassat say much to her at fust: but arter a while, he got so that he wood tell her it was a fine day andethat he thort there wood be rain,and then she wood say- "' i hope not, Mr. Peter -;for, if there was to be rain, it wood be;bad for you when you are out of doors a picki g off the apples.' Then he noed ' she had a feelin' for a' feller ; and he seed that she had a mind of her pwn, and she noed how to 'spress it proper, for she had good learning, ugh I say it myself. Then arter-a while, she got to 'setting up closer to him, so that at, last,,she- would eat her supper when he eat 'his'n.' So .when they sot, down to table to- gether, she wood say--' Mr. Peter, wo ' you have ano- ther slice of bread-Mr. Peter,. won't y have another slice of, bread-Mr. Peter, i'm afeard that nilk ain{arm enuff for you,' and all that air sort of thing, and then he would lay down his spoon and look as ,if he was balan- cing himself on a rale, and was afeered of tumbling off. When she spoke ,to him, he would look up like a duck when he hears it thunder. So sister Temperance at last put away the -big tabfe and sot out the little table for him' and then when they sot down to supper, they was close together you know, and one night when they sot eating, her knee touched agin his nee, and. he sed such a feelin eone over him that he thought 'he, should have died, and he couldn't eat nothing' at all arter that, So it got so at last that when the ap- ples was all picked, and' eter must home about his .other biziiness; that Temperance sez to him sezseh.- "Well, Mr. Peter, hope you wont forit'oroldfrinds.' She .sithed then from the bottom of.her heart an dPeter he turned rornd and begunoto k k n.melncnhoy, and at last hehe shook hands withsto goarhe blubbered right out, and 'bawled out, so youmient have _. page: 100-101[View Page 100-101] 100 00)1IJ OrW, &O., h o bi amil. ThenTeTperanoe began to bawl too, a ee.d nd bawled together, and sicha nie a tadegyuever heegrd at all in your wholes noe that theg Joved each other likeq 'lsesandy.Mether telled emperance she ought to e. e (ao let " a ' kiow. he was so =erce carter are iad 'mene orlyied the louder, and sezp she" p it,other -he's going away and i . n re ;" and thn farther ses to Peter . e8d awl so uk a; st k piif you want my go oa n-git her consent, i doift noe as iv'e any pe iobjections as you seemto be a 'dustrious lad and aintgriven to drinki ." SOe jiitaout six foot high for joy, and he run ito Tegr cee and he coteh round the middle buter d enff to bist open a cider barrel, i di. t huit her atall, and se left offcryin rite and they stuck to each otherke a fl in a tar bar-r rel r c farther sez that hey mu bepublished ud mar .:d e ohe's afeared te l bust, as they are so 3 oATsri TROOP. B BruZt .& Ou i. disrepu~table r:asiou the ake foe hitet de folleniu 'po an g dp 1eebar D o rt ^ aion, and dey Se+ et't o r di r t 64sin. i"begyor par- don'~ ou ~e~~u da heiebrage a peak to Ii~d hebegWi ~rdn fr'~kngto hin If )oof. ~iiiiulob 6ad obclor aZR Fqah e bonnit, you BPA DECON S ' 0g0B say "beg your aaf. Audbh a~e htp clor . you,"get oYeel yu uno berry sorryto 'sturbgyour ompsijtay don."t Permn se do casedef diaso for de lower clasgdegistootedo I 'spect you beg yorepeee c p he ardoniwhen you knock of hiht, lpisc , t f But your spectere preagherabty face and =kickyouaden you us be pa be kase he is de belubbed pas tu _and ' ios de fleece. "Grantyour grace" isde text. I spose you think d A4ra.. dto dblube co--Grant. DatI hows your ws ' a1ob.ieton dis 'portant 'casion. It am a dictioary g.4and'ude t de oblong conjunctiveness obgratiggraehich iadpig. geratie name for claw soup. Foreicu downdhe ul lar and ax Cesar to gratiinden clausQup andi is al same ting. Todder dei o subjek presss dat h oe d cat will scratch Qfac hehop: d cT o ee ninpla a lI ., do:plairau 'n{ ati main g e pan mn~ Ob s4 o den claws;d su oder Isd d thrd dsd t al daen se o cno t l heYelf?!'d No o1-grtve ;meanioh t sracin 4 A.ei when yu if rsumode ayp oe ~ ra n crthyour wicre, ~Afseo~4t i~Va whenJanel~xps c~aodr, o e b#h~h~. bad as iht Y nf~ ctaU-9 ifr"ie'er w. ' 4i' t j~ dek t. 'T~ to*0 atd an e ii p~Ti ye he ,F jk _h w as;, .' do c"-,__t. : not ShPol ire 0 page: 102-103[View Page 102-103] 102 COMIC LECTURE,&0., 'spycted preacher, who hab charge ob dis flock, run into de=h.se as soon as he heah do bleating ob one ob his sheep. When he got in dar, he seed her husband onde floor and she was straddle ob his brest, and. scratching his face widiHer nales. ,At de saine time she holler mur- der like de beiry debbil. As soon. as she see your 'spect- ed preacher, she ax protection; so your preacher cotch holdob. her arms and hold fast to protect her from hurting her nales against do face ob her husband. , She flew at. your 'spected preacher and put her fingers in his nostrils and tried to tear his nose off, and den she holler murder louder dan eber. A cupple ob wito men bust into de house and dey koch hold ob your 'spected preacher and himwhat he was killing' dat woman for. Blood was run- ningfrom your 'spected preacher's nose and from de face ober husband Now dey think dat was proof enuffs d we was kill' do woman, 'specially bekase she hollered murder So dey pushed us boff out ob dorrs, and pour preacher got off cleaniand run A dis is de seb- enth diwision ob our text. i shall'prove upon' deho ddat includes'de subjekob dem poppylation ob $ o1 1 a:i y'call Albany Niggars Albany niggar am reg-garlike-your 'spect- ed preacher; and dey'iswite ind r 'plexion: 'kase dey is 'ehamed of dar own color; Dey make .b'leive dat dey am wie ks; but dey can't 'ceive dis niggar. .Ie know dat deyis niga by dar curly har; darfore I ax you to hab "ossin to do wid dem fellers dat go about for a show and calldarelfAlbany mnggar. Odis prantcasion dar will be a c'lection taken up to buyumassa Garrison a wig. You no dat de brains is in dhead anddoe bob ition cause is in de brains. We issfead dat do cause will cool inhis head if he don't hab awg o keep it warm; If lupnp ob snow should fall on dof 'hdis headit wood freeze up de cause for sartin, 'cepthe hab a wig to kiver up his hald head. BY DEACON SNOWBALL 4ND D DEICILAE-ANEW R. 1gg Annudder collection willbe took up ondis ion, to hab a waxlgger o your 'spected preacher, tbe put in de museum. On4at 'portant 'casion yoir'spected preache's wax bigger will hab a pair ob wite top boots and a pare db spectacles fastened to de nose t eep dem from slipping off, as your 'spedted preachersnoseis too flat to hab deM stay on wideut a peg. Dazore B r Cole will pass 'round a big hat foryo = -peted prce r and Brudder Widgeon will pass round anudder at frde wig. Dem dat put in a fourpence will be'titled to bowl ob clam soup in de sulear. Mine Goot Pecples: You shall not bee in 4isAhousefr ¢ti.gs to-day, as Tshallgot von t as shall every Youeriauni tinsle., aidore. m Your niinistetshall pe bdl tot in yon fesri lik andshall o hal i h.l l."r pe i te Nbr e s, -u - ough. , natd oisg n a ven te get old o~t'e epeng eyha p s p toDoewiting tyou shall knW notingaptu # nly te clergyvat shll know any ting. Your minister. hall Pable touop bt nterier le ~~~~~~~'v-bas better tan MynheerMilrIndfrslneshsal tlyodadebell shall roar . 1. ish Siday tr un- ough, ven all theblip s~rng Be halhav .,db eas for dine ayo 64urdoff. i _ ne country, ehe shall have suicl -beleo_ rt o:Sudayt ontyget hldo e ope noboys~l rn en ets teyshal e s bg.De shallpe tolbellsvot nobbd shall, ring. . . page: 104-105[View Page 104-105] to ,eep pff to rains en you goes to chutcb. s ish got porasola to keep off te you shal neer please to womens. Venit ty sh got to brillers to keep off to rain and ve it Ae sun tey shall had te-parasols to keep 0ff o /god wv ters; P o t hall adore in a cell He ri t I le in yon cel; and shall a fo t o de moud4inin von cave. Teir shall pe:yo herits inlee qw country who shall hive in to cells, and shall pe so goot he shall never pe washed, and his beard shall never pe shaved off. You shall not have tehermit .imdish country - last lineis1l tl apontion mess of a loin and te yke Taall e von grept mystery -"but your muns- di shallTYhd him out. Te yokes iph to beef animals t *ae s ono $e lomn is von loin of beef, and tat i h to mess Tat shall show you tat te hermits shall have something goot toeafter alt . hermits in to Hollands shall have plenty of schnapps, An all schmoake to pie, - all $e tu e, to pass aw , ttime. Itae vonad t a rtsshal not have von, pa to pass'oadl ten sha get enough to put tosimge on teir;little house, 9nd to keep von horses and cach to ride to church. Ah tat shal pe grand ven to h r gto.ohurch in to coaches. Yen I shall pe von yi it' allhae plenty of big house, and horse and voach every', .}thing.t pe rand, and schnapps, and to- . r, " ; r, sYAN IK,1 LETTER ak mypen in hand to inform you a ;l'ar. all 4oin well, ad hoape thease fue lyons will ind yu enjoying the same, lesson. ThorA ben a grate to do p hear about Horrigon, wich they say is cumming By DEACON SNOW0A i -PD P&Dg LAGEE-3LATT R. 1:oh to this plains toinaik war. and. ever bodytocks about no- thin' else uther taiks on aboutit wuNderfull ad she thinks that Mr. Poke.aught to beputuin.riin forFkgR wars in thecountry and fetchigthe rrigu t _te. Oap- ting Konkha of tlis villidge, ho kepgethe aga f1s has a grate dealt ay aboutitdndhopes ouhis w the tother day and cumri to orhoueandaeus i had seen anrtbingeof the ennewy, as hewa4 o s e his valior and slay his thousands and tens of thousands like GoliahandSaint 3 auL Thou hed ad ou hi long sword and swung iround;his-head andswore lke any- thing, and sed that if the Herr ns cVm th i nhe ood maik sassidge meet of the hll of e Used e hould conker or dye in the persoot! Theuxg Re ldua n4si5- ter Edoumberance to taik the broom and tlmhpnudi, tick and do the man oil exercise. He give orders#aattodoo and when we didn't doe it ritehe sworeotb itskeieed mother hafdf out of her sev,.Wits Whenathe cuiin the house to see;what waathe matter, he wentrite upto farther and.lati his hand oz his shoulder, anddIookt him rite in the face for haff ainni t and then se1eet&hin "Wall, Mister Sooks h' yo heeSred aboutWth wars and rumors that'erintothesoparts ay you seed in the papers all snt how Misfer John Sqaiy A awshas gurded on the same sword that de were in.the.Coktanlo- cutionary War, and hasgone to ite tha inimies of our country?" Whatiilbou?". efft "About CapingIonkhn, an he put his n on his sword at th saitre,, "itis the rig x afr that we've beeed 'onsolong It's the wr "tt' ain up into the highlplaces. The unisayesd t is cuming hearto slay your ee and 4,ook 'em for their supper as you wood roast ansg hyre _ _ ; ~ a'Y . page: 106-107[View Page 106-107] 4 i i= Fw. t ers ing-nife and their Thomas . durthrt from eer to eer Why d / n txr iii gu d on your swotd your musket at on ~ 44~zr &Vtioboes on your shoulders, and ad- 5fT" " ,ez,'it b tobskeered, and he azed if their ngoitt jutepprs nd nuther ed she. di4~ ~ t~tie ~h~wa~bon tat she should ver se~ tdq ~i h eeteOptiin a piof Rap- As or~i~~,mbrx e,;h rn rteipt th Cap. 4 it her h wetiand quee"d hdim, ~~as sehQee1/ot-"d N~o e hat i've red, about in ~ l~e 0&e :hefsad Tbd i oRawmar! ,Har's ahe brave, a dall ';wt ef nr of his conry with his galliant srdpnhisthigh, andhis noble deeds, and his parro- ism a~hs allior. hat's what i like~ to see of all things, tbe 'eoics ho uins to defend the darters of Co- lub atb' oik ttheir alible lives ! ! ! ! !! Hear's my da idne bart'beCpig cI'e m your'n for ifre, TheJai$. bushe a good deal when she said tha%; shudr dsi she,"Bd yeer ting, i'm afeerd that yo gthutb I you wselto be kiltit wood brake treed willfollwyo thes henatsds the.cah papers had to sayaoi wrT eO(#i 9up 17rysol. "Jhn6 C04koun !'htyou nvehesr hat name be- foie~?1't&hi~;that was consarned in the Mortification , Mj - t f sn cas her "ten we-e all dead h " Then ite e~n toakupth fbse 4 that we ounh o eo b a~ hew~~ bureusaUup+liv.. hollered,"~'wcr i. death I shelfnteni1Iroa4 e a ag . the hullhouse. uhr5raA ieot~n p' and put her arnme'oin theC4A;b 6 t sword on the floo a through the widr he a up the road on the ful zn nvr*e~& de ~s fast, nor a LI wh3_a f""_.d arterxhim-. M 7ther thort we ws al con oa erv e ie,6 their kind th r+ i was the cat ,'4 \e a, d brought ou heiecu of 'the dis wihtepyti to 'em. Casting Blossom h Te m 'It ish von goo et 'a~ee hl e ~tsvr~v you shall h. , ' . ' . shalpe yenyota'ton'UICI\4A .. ; ,' - page: 108-109[View Page 108-109] GOMIOs, 4 shall a &lw se n yras all aiwas pe. Te night of to gar" ter is ye i.you 'e off- your garter to go to pod. As ? o nin eS; lf I hall never I take off to garters, pe. use s 1 ever take off but seven pair of trowsers ye'@ n sleep""in e_trhee'pair of breeches and mine two n tat vey I shall keeptunne. skin a,,orno irt shall get to t skina en you keep it cov- et n 1t tue wit waters, and get dirt on te b a t pe pocause ty shall take off to clothes. Iff yoknyour clothes yen youee ndeyo get up euy. ou sha cover upte skin andget no dirt on it at l nd't yo hal nt neod to waters at all, sure eoh Ishal never ash hmore tan mine race or hands, t hafl feflintuto, cn al yen ishalpe von little boy tat salnaon darter of to soaP boiler.; Y shallYno'wots ap shall pe. It ish vat you va rub on =o: r hand von yo1 vashe6 to cum to church. It ta te omans use von whole bar vn t sha pe eos Mbt t e and ash to clo:e all day. To darter of to so. bileesall pe to gal yen her vader sha l boy te soap n n p pot. Dish gal ish to be marred at to man vot nevr ;gotedine night without' pulling off his garn hhaldkow how to boileto soap. It shall ped A ad'tzziness tat boil soap;your minister shall, herd oweyketbh=lip le oya,4 girls in dish country ndbl t utike pin tofegpot. ie shall pe frteshallkketch your, ~in$ tr al b il hirnand his reeches int .oap.Mn br* l'as fad'fieing t.boiled ino sa evn she al y tat she shalrun venever Viyon!'erhl rr n -bilor's da rter BY DEACQNQWBL 4N IPZ IOH LAGERBIIATTER. fellr itend an'maks motions it teir fiers. Your ministere rr sblmrr oedatrttsal not zike vn soaps, sureenough. Pass rond toeplate YANKEE LETTER. Pzter; They hasbeenatin pedlAin these parts-. He sept i or bested, and.wheY hewontawayh mother-a nutmeg greater, and ster $ookgy gofa:little tiom squirt ofhim to squirt water atia boyig cho Farther says thatathis tin4 pe[ riaga a -= up' and. torkod , :ith usttill twe;ivaoeekvta4 nose about politics and It nn ao t something what will e hertold all about politics=in Bow. He ler that they call Miste Webste i g? for t$ the, president, te cl im expidei whc. ;en that he isexpected to be, resitHe .t h wholeword epectedome- from the. tia every body is pecingat a man a so president. Hoset"that theisisterWe stout man that couldmow a goods fei his talons o a ood use and he's ga 4 for driving team He has ,eeup couneT and roundte+e M zdo ia* dl d eoeket and Ub 'brige and o r4t, con and a store.Re sea thei~ whp pant dow's ~~le ,le,~ o itwas ayal tgin " ;"tbe Y*"o s, F-'th'y wa-a_ ae ntofte ktedyi ntheiqr; a~d hesh + w vry 'fod' f' gin'rotu4ar 5 g$M4 toha gal atall. " oheWsta~nh ~ , ' page: 110-111[View Page 110-111] * 10 otmacITnthSr C, " and when he was runnin to pull her out of the water and- sedtat,he noed it was improper for him to go near her, andheturned and run the tother way, and she wood ha,' gotdrowned if sum little boys hadn't av seen her and pulled her out. Then the pedlar felled us of another case of true love, dow Mendon; how it-was of a gal that was in love ih 'feer thatworked on a farm ; but arterwards, the young feller that kept the store took her i, and he payed 1tention to her and sot up with herstue mites and wun her vii ec shns, and then arter that he went up country where he'belonged, and that :enermost :broker her tender hart, and' shepit him 8 letters andutelled him that if he didn't eim bak, she wood have ;the 'fust lovyer that works on a farm. So she went about the villedge with her.hahrehanging down 'over her neck and called herself " a cshed' ewer." Then the nabors took it up and coad herfather to sew the shop-keeper for a britch. of prema s So tie lawyer oum to see her and she telled m t h a broke and she should go down in-- o rl'raedand hav it all strewed with.fiopers. , T140 er saidthey mut have him sewed,:and so sheaid"if they could get fve hundreddollars fromn him foer use, itwuld make Aer feel better and praps that h 'art de eed; sekaewith all that money she could et. another'shepez r her hart was sot pnw gahol keeper nthtould make a lady of rhd owe tll shet could git n e. fi wdred dollars would be idherr h1F6= her father t1*4~wM downto t e 'sto get a hig'sh- w f* ~ g ' np coutry to ketch her lovyer w4 d big 'him den to.-make himpaythe 50%) dollars 4tfthe last accounts they hadn't foundhim, d he gal was affditracted&$eifear she wouldn't git her 1ovyer backator the' 50 dollars nyther. BY DEACONSN(OWDA; ,DW A B E 111 When the minister cheered that \the pedlar was at our house, he cub downtheir to talk latin withhim, So when the' minister cum down to our house, he had five big books-under' his arm, and as soon as he was interdu- ced -to the pedlar, he sings out-.- "Hominum bejus liber J" Then the pedlar sez he-" Yes, yes you want some hominy for supper. 1 will answer you ;" and then the pedlar spread out his arms: and sez he: "Polly voo frang hee ,?" Then the minister looked in the dictionary a great while to find the words,.'and= at last, sed he: ".1ara means bitter ; and Pollmyand Mary is the same thing; so the fust word is bitter, but £Ican't tell the rests" So the pedlar seed that he had stumpt the minister, and he rubbed his hands,'and told wher he was brort up and eddicated; and the minister wispered to muther and sed the pedlar was the wunderfullest man- that he ever, seed. When the pedlar went away the nixt morning, he left muther a butiful sarve that wood curethe wringwurna. It must be rubbed ont the place hot, and whent, is rubj bed threw the skin into the veins, it pewrefiesthe blood. If you hear of ennybody that wants" to'highera1a in a store, or a young feller to skou 'kdnivesin whittlin- house, farther sez i can do ary one of themjabs. 'our' tsarve, ' _ -YAwNKEE ILTT . B". Mister Editer: have -.ou heered of th grate we've had up heer. It was a man travelling-wit of mutnkies and qdruids' and othernaheen & exibbit it heer at the publick house, fod asixenape. .. page: 112-113[View Page 112-113] 4 112 OOiix Lq TV E, &X It aetook threw the street iaa grate cat, and the feb le therithe cart was the blackest nigger at ever as een n these. parts. Everybody that is heer iun ar- tethe carto'see-if theycood peek n and see ny of the nibstracious wild monsters that was in. it. As soon as ever theygot it there to the tavvn theman what ow- ieed it enr out en the steps and said a speech to all of us that as there He sed there was going to bea grate reform in the -country, andrthere was 'awful doins in Washington, and how a the members of Congres roast. ed there sassidgers on thee stove, and eat their tiinners in th hallwhilst they were spea ig, and how they had theirtperkad injnn served up t the desks, se for te eat their vittle on the spot. Tkre 'went : to tell about pollities, and how they =ygolg to hav&eeryhin changed and evverybnddy astonished hax to peaces. Then he telled about his mukiesi iathe tavvuncand sed they as a. wunderful sp es and telled about what they cood doo and how lsrned they way.-P',erybuddy took oph their hats when he spoke tu'emu and thort he was as big as ,inneral Washington. inhe rte.on, sisterConsider washed her .face and feet, ! ,-1d . ewtes and went up with me to ous ndttra When we went in, there was a. felle there wik agpole, a , lie pushed the men and boys bck, kp li '-" stand b ,b entlemen, ndtbhpladies see the monies. So all the, 1 :o b d let the wimmnn and gals ilk up, and they was dredfully pleased with the mun s and the funny wAys thathey had. One of them 4ks had a han tied round his bell, and heb would S i on hishind egs like a hoss hen herares up. wo uld taken ple. their elue a at it; and eewas aid there that cood tork. At firat i thort it BY DsACGoSeNOWa4IJ 41i LVOULSAGER-BLATER. g was a Wl bekasejtsUe sa WoQoked 4tlast they ed it was a 'pliot alodf ed to . Then:t se4 fie and murder andpretty plWhen i found out tha it eood talk, g Ret'a6ate6 it and axed it how old it w htat diddent answer ne at all, and it leaned its h d m down .a one side as if.it was d60f of one er and was tryng to heer what was sed. i telled" the mai his palhogwoodenot ansur me, and he 3ed it wa bekas as a muthy kndof a bird 8 like asuit e nthe' o so large. Then everry- buddy axed the perd some q sis SiteConsider axed te'boo maid hims a o see if he kgew his kate kise. But gals liked the munkes b": asd the wnnies seemed to like the gals, for they lookedatthe gals the time and winke at 'e as nat'rala; life. Arter wews done the exbbition of the _o racioagdrup _. theu blackniggar had his sho, andhe um ott and :waolsd a cork and blowed it out of his nose.Theneatod pp on his hands, and everrytime he c down ohiofet, he sed whew!" and that mid the g . fdredflly Ss ter Consider sed shed ruthesee the =: th ,lLthe other munkine, and the pajot i " was dredful ihnny-.for'his nose s so~"i; J"ni!"e_ and when he was tired nd took a long like a pare of befuses.e Arter the niggar was dun the she i ater on the rising erati oftnspgnd thep s ting. He e how there was sonenny b i t country that thewood eat il te tater and kt up the ull country into canawltsandhrale odes, so that their woodn't be1n room for fafenandJopa an alf at air.: He had oversomn toh leritha pbod ed n- derstand Wht heent. Andgot 1t Mher sed he must hay adte f'l g h woodu't geldY. mutch, page: 114-115[View Page 114-115] COMIC LECTUREB, &C., - ' I wish you woed cm up heer'and, see the performances, or it is the mYost wderful things that-ever. was. Muth- er saia ha t if'the people in Boston cood see this niggar, they wo&Igive rite up. The squire invited the nigger to his:oaseadgihigas 'mutch as he cood eet, and the niggT8toop n hishands in the squire's parlor, and necked dow nthe shovel and tongs. He has got a curouis foot, for it'is wunderful long at-the heel. Sister Consider sas thatshe shood fall i6el vith him if he was not a riigar, andif' mother 4 aggreed to it; for she never fasin lveithigettingsleaf of muther." Shek'ell in vlujest seven times, and she axed muther's leaf three ti} and thetiesshe aied father's leaf, an so she s .ereandnary one' of them loved her; and she ntired of loving g'em she 'stopped without-ax- in leafbj.of anybody . So thenfokes awel ed that she was o rostand rter to it sum pie to rite a peace of po- s;, ad ptit te nucepapers but Consid r sd pthat ::it w9dlt'te worth while, as narywon of the feee lovedned a hoeof his one, and one of f'em :.dy;'t.a. s eond cote to his bek; lMuther sais the les, it mustbe a sitty gentleman, as they canTpr ~iheNb ith a e achtride in, and losses and sarizt With livieB 'en," Theirs no moe nuce up hear at present. The nigger has been onotr fa ud saishe wod 'have no objeck- t : .: rito efinthe county' if s buddy wod give him a farm.' rap. they wilL Yours,- .'Js Gnoss. DskACO1 90N OWBAUS LECTURE. bbed Thddr.-On dig indiwiddle and straineous Ara lon'your 'scted: pre aher haf to'form diis o1, greg.- 'ou~o eolor dat your 'spected preacher hab seeut'do I BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTER. -Hl5 names ob massa mineral Jacksonand nassa general Tyler to de Peas Candy and dey was signed to dar estimate and he 'tend too send 'em a stifficate signed wid his own hand, so dat your specterd preacher will be one ob de 'stinguished gemmen dat' hab signed to dis candy prowi ded de gemman dat hab his candy.to sell will gib your 'spected preacher a ninepence to put his name down, Darfore we take de follerin' language ob de 'postle Salt. petre, for our text :-- ",wish rIwas andldow where A1n4dI know who was with me." Dis text .an de most'portant:text dat your 'speted preacher hab 'proved 'upon sensed time before, last and todder time, too. Darfore your 'speeted' preaober will 'prove dis text in a berry 'spectful manner. 'He"will 'prove upon die text wid' all de;'trength in his bbdy. As it am a berry heavy text, he will divide it into-ie parts to make it lighter, de same as you divide a bag of meal into two parts to put it on your shoulder when you come from de mill. In' de fust place is de follerin' tree conjuuctifioations. "I wish, I was, I know." De fust implemement oh dis statistics is de wish. Dat put your 'spected preacher in mind ob dotexto'criptur which says--"If wishes was hossea, .eggaracould ride a hossback ' $ut beggars neber do ride a hossbaek Dey ride inclusively in' de South Boston coach hi h hab a padlock on de outside. De todder conjunction is was. Drfore was is doting dat 'sprees what a fellr was ws Da isam by dat always tell you wh he as'nd ciding t at; he was always a teible seller till4 had do Te3ll year itch, anddat hurtaim some. Dnar i }oha 'Jcshg, she.always tell you dat she had good laying tut=t but arter she spraint her an'n kill she forgot all about it and was laid up for a tortnit. page: 116-117[View Page 116-117] 16 00MC LECTURES, &C., D third conjunction ob dis speechification am de word kno Darfore If you know anything; you hab de beat ob degree ; for by knowing a ting, you sometimes make a b=rygood bargain. Your 'spected preacher swop off a pair ob white apboot to Ceaser Widgeon todder day Your'spected preacher knowed berry well dat dem boots belong tobarudder Cole, and dat. rudder Cole would come auter oi 'bekas head only lent 'em to your 'spected preacher but Ceaser did'nt know nossin-'bout dat. Dar- fore your specterd preaeber got a pair of small close, and a pair of second hand tiff brushes; a pair of.mittens, one eotton'tockin, and a trinab red peppers,-wid as much lain soup as your 'spected preacher could eat on dat tpo xa toaion Dis was bekase your 'spected preacher enw d a ting br too, which de oder gemman ob color khowd±no sinc'bou.Darfore brudder Cole will go arter his botCo Oeaser Widgeon, and Ceaser must lain better de nixt time. Du text form you .dat he wish he was and he knows whardat was! Darfore it 'gwine grate visdom to 'splain di tg; bekaseyou got to find out whar dat place was. DAisa stunt fpr you., Darfore you must read de next le ob de text, and he says-" I know who was wid me. Drfore if he was to a balls you know berry well dat he wasYnot at-a mask ballybekase when you are dar, you dot know-whowas:widnyou. But dis gemm an ob colar , _h as mid hi. Praps you tiank it was Chloe Jumbo, Phillis White, Black Sarah and some odder nig, gargalob color. Dat shows your ig'nance, you brack s'0 ns, How yoid'spet to save your sins if you don't imdetan' doet ?- Darfore I slain hini too. What you tink youawill do when your speoted preacher is gone t bben? You tink he eoxe back to slain him for t ew Daffore de meanin' ob dis text am to be 'splfined in I ,2 BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDIH LAGER-BLATTER. g dese few words. Dis gemmnan ob color in de tet;is a prpofifficy ob your 'spected preacher. He vish he was and be knows where, and he-knows who was wid him. Darfore dis 'lude to de fack dat your 'spected preacher 'spect to pay 'tention to that yaller gal dathaajist }'ived from New York, and he will be in de kitchen of Mrs. Brown, and Dinah will be wi'd him. Datfore1dis--ide way dat he mak you undertan' de 'cripture. I hope you 'member 'em on dis 'portant 'casion. Darfore, I'm gwoine to 'proves upon de 'hole. When your 'spected preacher goes "to see a gi ob 'color, he set up close to her an& ticle her under-the chin id his flin ger to make her good natutred den he look at her iite in de eye, and axe her 'de complitntsdb de e r. If she say it is berry. hot, 'den your 'speote preacb says: "No 'peak- 'em! he buns off de skin obhde colloredpo lation." If she say it is berry cold, den he pull o is mittens and put 'em on, and roll up he eye, anid 'lared dat de wedder is enuff to fruze de wool of. Den he' shiv- er and try to coff, and say he hab got bad cold. 'Your 'spected preacher hab got de bag forty-one tines in he life. LAGEURBLATTER'S LOTT E- Mine Goot Peoples: Your minister shall give you von text in dese vords: "Turn gntleierniitof ,the dale, And guide "my lonely. way To whereyon taper cheers the vale With hospitable rayI It ish apout von hermits, like teir shall pe von w York tat shall live in aicavein von rocks, andisli ting 'at tall, only look at tobirds. Oh! Ishall tink oVt mit sh~pe sent to prison alvays, pecause no man shall. page: 118-119[View Page 118-119] 118 COMIo LECTtES, AO., p allowed to rxind his own business and. let other folks alne. Te only vay to pe goot in dish vorld ish to med- aleit evrgpody's pizziness, and make tem. live like you Tat ish vat tey call freedom ven you shall ask libetg=otblow yqur. own nose. Dish hermit text shall live in to toods, and tey shallcallito dales. Dish dale ish von placp downing a a Ollowyore thermit shall live true enough, pecause te vind shall nt blow inte hollows. S6mepody ish in to dale;somepody shall vant to pe put in to house. It ish vongirl tat ish their. She shall see to light in 'te house, an4shadl is to get into to house,; she shall think it von hospital. Se.go:to to hospital. Te hermit shall not kep oni house, ut h shall live in to cave. He shall no hs , vpn dish, nor 'von platter, but only to pipe to schmke ki'tout any schnapps and oysters, and sour krout, and :cold slaw. at shall tat gal be doing out deir in to night? I shall like to see her go apout here so late at night.. Te hermit 'shall pe von c#pstable to put her in to prisons, sure enuff, acauseagvooman shall not valk apout in to night. Oh! Ishallsee ven von of mine congregation"shall valk apout" to night, sure enough. A girl in to voods in to night is lik- von owl vat shall sing hoot! hoot! She shall vant to hermit to guide her lonely vay. I shall like to guide her vay to mine house wen I vas know tat she shall have to monhtopay hersboard; ,but if she ish not to have to monish, ten' I shall know how she shall come to mine house. shall pay tax to suppor to house of correction, and if she shall vant a house, to shleep in;,she shall go teir to lleep. i ash in New York teir shall pe von girl, who me to to door in to night,, and say tat she ish got ,co to=sleep, sure enough, d ish from de country ,~hheyalissk her for de monish, and she BY DEACON SN&WB4fAS)DJPR LER MBLArR. 1 shall say tat teir ish no monish in her pocket. I shell hit her over-to head mit mine schmokeepipe, and shall.cell to vatch; but te vatch shall run.'todder vay; for teplipin New York shall not care to take .hold of te robber.ii to night, but shall like better t9 take up to littlesboys the day time, because te poys ish no danger. SY"iKEELETTER. Mister Eddqtor: They is cun up in our parts a gal that is called a corkwet. Every lody fez that she is a c erkwet, and so i 'spose she is wron. She shoz t p in making' bleeve she likes a feller, and the h , im the mittin. Their is no getting a longiter y in the world. She was up. to hour hose, the ot ite, and so i sed that she was a going' to make bleeve e as in love with me. So i got eddy for her, and she called me Mister Obydire. It was the fust :time i was cawled mister in my hull life, and i snorted rite outa lafflin' in her face. So she called me' a 'poor. Itelled her i mite be poor for all i noed; but i was fatter 'round my leg than she was 'round her middle anyhow. She sed it was genteeler to be little 'round the middle; then i sod that a hornet was gentoeler than any other qnedruped in all creation, for it was so little 'rouid the middle that you couldn't see it. When'she found i noed 2 much for her, she tried to cum 'roundfarter, 'and to make him bleeve that she was dead in love with him. So mother kept lookin' over her spectacles all the timewhen- ever Barbara spoke to farther, and at;last she thort the gal was going too fur withhim, and she jumptriteup and called her a nasty stinking corkwet and tod 4her to put on her bunnit adrtrot along out of te h r quick, or she would thr|Nn her out of the wind So he oorkwe't got rite up, and sEl up i. I page: 120-121[View Page 120-121] * C~O~IO L6O01t0, &, bi6 stared 'at mother as imperdent as nothing; 'nd y's 1b V'to father 4 M Th~little that your wife is the master of this hea ~ t I .shall rememberwhat you hay sed to me, and wle ouatthe plae you intioed according to a greeinent." e mother. was so mad he didD't noe what to do. She looked at father over her spectacles like a cat in a dark room, and she took three pinches of snuff i a se- .; te e of her ose ws as sharp as a ray-sir d rd as befsteak. She ketched up the broom and _,1. B .rba a, d o this cork'wet seed that mother whean letand theti she mpere.d off in grate style. Stherom intohe kitchen, and then out o ithe hen intohegardidh and threw the gardn gait, herself maid me think that sli 6 oen build have brote off and left her in t ikeissolvin the union. She-cut out into the ro, nd o arte her, and arter mother was dun of chasig,_ rF - kep hollerin' ariet her, ad every body that *ae $din' that way looktstround at the cdrkwet and o o alafn' when they seed her Outtiug up the r ode ike1gawzest. sv:ody red it carved her rite for she had maid one l S ith' ss half crazy arter her so that he kdono rk ai he maid the ri ses ter set on the tted themto put h hen on to j 'ems ? " t-re,%.va 1 $ ,h AidriEs tide boys hoo got to h dshedidnt are for nay one of em. ., *.h-5-'e i~;el Zaccheu i . h thzthe had a very ~n tz~~ tatmde1d avg2r ter er then she _ _ p tei a~e n.': r us-i,) t t y',cii thla h inh~ sr~ ~t der t# 4r' nd s O theywas th n gfor heru atre " u r r5y. t ir daddy was i. n -d abaut'4 jyj.'yp I, a~dso the nthaLb *d hr r n5ne±5tethIM se, h run'a -. r BY DEACON SNO IhALL AND 1 t LAGERBIATTERMj her with the pitch fork. She seed him coming and'she streeked it for the woods, and the last was seen of -her that day, she was in the middle of the Richardhou woods eating acorns.' Then a hull passle of fellers went up to the woods to see the corkwet.It was in the evening. They carried a lanturn, and sum had pitchforks, nd sum had clubs and Joe Collins had a sithe, and other sum had long ropes to tie the corkwet. Sum of em didn't, oe what a corkwet was.; they: thort it was a sort of wild beast that lived in the woods; and so they was oi' up to ketch it. When they got up their, they found that-the corwet want their, and'Sam mown curi up to tell 'em that the corkwet was gone back to the house where she lived. So they thort they would go down to the house, :ad when they heered the corkget was nothing but a al, they co- chided to ride herd on a rail. So they got a rale off of the fense by father's barn and went down to ride her. When they got to the house, they peaked in at the winder and seed hesetting there, and mixing sumthming in a bowl. Then they need it was love powder that she was making, to-captivate sum more young men in the plaice. Then we was all, as mad as a greece spwt an&ye nocked on the door, and a woman cum to the -oor and we telled her to send the corkwet 'out to us, as we was going to ride bet on a rale. Then the corkwetsetaut her respects to us and axed to be 1exqused bekas she was. very hevvy and she was afeered it would tieeg s So we didn't noe what to do. At last, we al to the house, and found that she was gone. Theack ' der was opened and she must hay' jumpt out she had left bhe lve powder behind:er in abt looke1est le' itgeh.0 We 'sung d lito t&* and then weieaed out for hiula; and that~is thelas we hay' seen of the corkwet. page: 122-123[View Page 122-123] I ' CQ~ZIZCT1~IAPOC YANKF LETTER. D Yewj e We'reall in the suds up hear about ths tire filing o& hogs and akin' assidges,.and aas cross as wasps. So there's no piece up here =ow. W''vk anold barrow this seeing, be- iesandoonerousther pigs, and we've had.. preehii' in theskhoLhouse. 'Jake run a nale in his" fltra they gotfa peace of' rusty pork rind out of the b r dp i theJplace, and made it as good as nue d twas curous about the nale what went into Jake's fut He heered a,-e. in the nite and thaut a focks had got . :ge pen; out herus with a boot and stock- ing* oW o ft,,'and ftotr 't had nothing' on except his Sl thenale run intue the tfut wich had on t kveng ad never went a near the naked fut. Sstange bekuzegrybody thinks their is d 'nales in your fut when it is nak- , t er wen it i ivvered with a shew; but i_ ,tatbois on the other laig, and that it is dayer ashew and boot than to go with- naedfta ot hurat all. Farther sez a gn so strge in this country that okes w i b rrn by 'ba-afeered to wear boots and ahews o fi des in the t. l a was a o e out tokeatch the fock and had a unHe s s thi in the guice pen an dheab _o14d t so fin. He lade the gun on a tale - - i ,-q 04 0 q I I I . . I - . . - - - I I ,4 0*, . BY DEACON sNOWAA&NDr QULGERBLTES. to shoot it, and fired it off and shot apighat had got in their witch he thort was a focks. Arter he'd shot that,he cotch it up by the tale and thenhe found outit wosapig; so he was going to fetch it intue the house when hetrod on the nale, witch maid him s madthat he flng -the pig into the guice pond, and jumpt and hollered like allnatur. --Then farther cum running outwith a gun and thort a wolf or a. loin was eating up Jake, for he maid as mutch nose as if he-was kilt, and that made mother so mad that i expected she would shoot farther-into the barain. That's about all the noose theirs up hear, tho'ethe o say that Isaak Jones has a noshun of payit' ati to Deliverance Bler. Y w no that Deliverance has alwise ben a leetle hard of hearin'. Tother dayshe put some blue cotting in her ears, and that took the i of Isaak wonderfully. He fell in luv with, that cottingand thort it becum her dredfully, and arter that he used tobe poking around her place; and nodding' to her and casting sheep's eyes, and at last she let him cun inter the 4o4 se- for she s6d that his bei' so taken up with her, maid her. feel kinder tender in her boozumn, and her voycw n- derful soft when she spoke to him. at onkuridgd him like and he stuck up to her le would o t the house and set down.in a cheer and show her h 'hands how they was hardened by layin' soaal, and.telled her whaf kinder things he loved to et as fond of pudding and milk, and she telledhim how munch sh had; sowed, and showed him a h making or herself. Fokes up hear' that heh bee very good match and Deliverance wants to know what they think aotit in oton. way, as she has sumthat she can exose like to taik 'em. Ax yure wife if shedon'iwantsi m to maik kustards. You taik a little sira nd emnk and 4 page: 124-125[View Page 124-125] 1U. ~ Ogg M~~U*s gO., then in h& aigs and micks it all up together and oei o lsritikkups, and then bake 'em. You mite pin lttlgrated nuknegg on top. The wooden wonsj Wotdoo for that. tweak acowroke into our milk room and begun to ete pthe bgpppyes, and nodked sum of 'em down: arty; thatshe went ito won corner and stood so stillgbttiiher woodu't have none their was any cow theii-When hwntin, only she trod into something, and liedto had slipped: down. Then she seed the plates nsed ontheflor, and the big pyes that was in the* thr dihesl ete up. She called me to drive out the c ;;didnlike to go and before i got her out ah 'eoe vehe churn and'poilt all the buttermilk. a edJoseph. Snif ha , ben missing from this plai~ a good wile. 'He was a Millerist and sum fokes ihi hat be hasgoneyu. He owed considerable mun- nythse parts, andifhe's gone up, the fokes hay' got, tolooset; a th maik itbad, you no. Did you havy e:cpse, ofthe moon inBoston. We had it hear, and nePese dsistat thyad it over to his house tire. heir' a seoomaster pear that teled us all itthapent. He ais that their is clodde of all sote sad that sumties peace of a thick ld baky inthe sk smwhere es e pot-ldso that you can't see it, till itbios;O ain.But ite Nais she don't think atoqrenothing about switch i terreotheir bible and lan all {r 1e a tety b the safe sighed-i thke beed their was nutob good cum ro thtorter ing, thC' I'veg a pritty good ed- - dt4s zyelfYous to sarve, 0nE LMP. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIRDWUSH LA.E{-BLATTEB. 125 DRACON SNOWBALL'S LECTME. Belibed Bruddren: Dis is a berry 'portant and unctu- ous 'casion bekase it is de tree months before de seben-. teenth ob Juue. Dorfore we take. our text from de foller- in''portant language ob-'criptur: "_Mend your manners." Dis is 'dressed to de wulgar which am de congregation darseff, and 'lude to mendin' dar inanners and tern' dar behavior. It dress itself to den niggar-dat spendde sab- .ber-day in gwoine down to de wharf and caflioblikker dar, instead ob watin' till Monday, and buying hin at de sullar. It also dress Sophy Wing andlvir peters dat lays out dar money for likkerish, Jewsharps, and'asses candy, and goes gallavanting about' niglhts arterde fel- lers., It 'rude to den white fellers dat eat peanut in de gallery dar: and to eberyboddy'dat 'fuse to treat your 'spected preacher to glass ob root beer. De second dewission ob de subject is dsperitual mea* nin' ob de same. . De speritual meanisaddressed to your 'speoted preacher and 'quest him to mend de manners ob die congregation oh color. Pe way dat your aspected preacher do die in de follerin' maner. Demagergeb'de congregation is 'pared to a pare ob ragged paintaloons. Darfore your 'spected preacherniust mend 'e by sewing dem up. De word ob truth isdefusedle whic houses and de thread ob lis discourse isdethread; and dis thread and needle he try to puta patch on your n ers and mend 'em up tightand strong. He sew widdube thread bekase he gib you d4 twomeanin's o betet de speritoal ineani'a ti dotoddermeanin'} uel e you'pove by do' sample of your 'spe ted pre er If you do as you see your 'spected preacherdo ~ yo wt mendoyour manner r 'cerdin' to do 'eachrwd . . Ex- a-mpiebelong to4econgregationn4$rle 'g to do pasture. page: 126-127[View Page 126-127] COMIC LECTURE &O., Your'spectea.reacher hab received de follerin' letter from -oung ngenan ob color on Long Island, about a revial indoseparts'which.I will read on dis 'portant 'ca- Sin t discongregation ob color, and hope you 'prove by hii It isin dese 'portant words: OYSTER BAY, March 34th,}8144. Reburrand and Belubbed Snowball: - e geni t form you dat dis plaice hab been vis- itted by abeyrrbig revival. It was in do follerin' man- ner Cirkey Jones killed a hogg, and de bladder was -ginItoalittle nigger named Toney Slaw. Toney took do bladder adiiedit and. blowed it up wid wind' out ob his mouf. Dexi hefound out whar dar was a party ob people dt was fiddlig ddaing in do :ebenin', and he went der widebladde; and won dey didn't tink dar was an- ybody dathe went:under de winder, and he laid his blieren degrouid and den he jumpt up about ten fool ind air anid e:m down squash upon his bladder and it busted widaloud noise like a 'cannon gwoine of. All der iked iggars in de house thort that brudder Mil- le waspttinganend to de world, aind dey run and bol- lered and screeched, and dey scampered off and sum ob demn went into do barn and hid aurwngst do hay and fod- dor-sum went into do woods and begun for to pray on dat nees Dis revival lasted about hag an 'our 'fore dey 411D out what it was dat skeerd 'em. I hope dis will be a nooppation b color, and dat dey will trytog e da sin rite off. Your belubbed brudder BAnOLOEW CRONY. Do you. hea dat, you woolly eaded sarpines, and don't you titk loud call for youyouour brack scorpions an' ersidat.doh.t e eape do evil of yoiur ways, and mend "~i~iannHI6ricordidnto do text. 'Tethird diwision ob do text 'ply dat Susan' Weeks BY DEACON SNOWBALL ANDIEDIO [CLAGER-BMTTER. 7 and Sarah Day ought to mend de hole in de heel ob dar stockin'. Dey make de suce dpt dar heel is s0 long and sharp, it wear a hole froo dar stockin'. Pooresquce is bet= ter dan none, but dis is no squce at alll; bekase ebery nigger hab de same squce 'bout herself, and your 'speited preacher might say dat was de reason he hab hole rough his boot. Darfore dis leads to prove upon de 'hole; dar is trie'or four tickler meaning's to de word mend-de fust is to-put a. patch on your panialoon; de seedxad is todarn 'yor stockin' and de todder meanin' is to mend y urmanners Don't you forget 'em; for your 'spected preacher is berry 'tickler 'bout dis 'tickler subjeck. Week afore las dar will be a syrenade under dewindur of Phillis Jonsing who lives in de sullar, To get under de winder we shall. be 'bliged to dig hole in do airtb and git down dar to serenade dat lullychild ob Wenus. We shall go a Maying on de fust ob April so.as.to get dar an' pick all de powers before do wite ,okes curn dari e eter Widgeon will be-dar wid de base drum andimorNikkles will be dar wid de banjo. Three od niggars v een engaged to scrape de fiddle. YANKEE LETTER. Mister Editur: last winter, the skool cum rntty oum tQ me for to hav me tech the skool foortow iorthe winter. Uncle Josiah had gin me a recom ed.Farther had: spoke to the town clark about me, forid r a far as addition and cood rite likenB cmmmitty cheered that i had rit for the nooepaperthey was raving to hayme. So the skool cummitty cum to our house in. They wes as folers: abccheu Ooh ir e 'El. lis, and drives team to bdstown; J2i5b os at tns .- page: 128-129[View Page 128-129] thill";Pete Smith;andold John Hoxie. So they all eahQi~se and farther took 'em. ito the best " f'oo i gMuthe utoi hergcleen apui and own in too, she tot d in te asy(hair in the kornor. She didn't say tishe sened to see what they was a-goin' to. 1hen thenskool committy begun to ax me things to sea i oeduff be o sioo eer. tn the fst plaice Mr. a~d tei~ ~0 amy ~tekie. So ielled himii did, sout o e ise, an .'iiaedmeif"i noed theprice of oats; i tel'd hi They .a sixpunce a pe; then he axeds me the price of4butta and i :.teledhim:Then he axed me how old r heae nd i sed he was fort s e!H oed how mutch myja~t~r wa de..4,1: tel1 lnimi posed he wade about too hn de end a h fall of. the year in sassidge time, orha Jao osth'; 'r h1kepsaxe ~o was the destan in the wbldandi tllduhm amson and he sed that was r:, ar"ct tE:& ie -ed me boo was the youngest man and Ised i was Jimflhitson, for he hadn't got no whiskers, ad codt raze a pare, and he' sed that was rite too. hundfloxe axed me ho meh the fat ex wade that was-n, a shi w ay tbb tavurn and i ax srred rite , bekase it Iw 4t~ ntepaper that is stuok up their. Hp e.r i aman aught to 1e hed of a fac i c o ld the bescakewin the .olledge? i sed ,tthae. e got mad at ti and sed i d't e notn foritwas hi O d that soled the b e and e pp store under Mr. muels, the shew dhe tfe paead hcomnmitty ed i was rite, adthat Mr. KQhttol04=he b 'te e 'Mister Hote got madder than BY DEAN 8NOWB14D ND OH, LAGIRBLATTER.1 ever and he sed he woodn't belong to sich an ignorant committy, and he put on his hat and veered out; but-the. rest on 'em 'pointed me to tech the skool. When the time cum for to begin the skool, i went;taw the little house where the skool is:kepp, and i found=their a stove and sum fire, sum benches, arid a desk that had 3 legs to it: but i put a pile of booksunder the other kor- nor, andeo that did very well. Then the skollards begin:to cow. In the fist plaice was misterfBogg's.thrge children a gal and twogboos, a little boy, SamKomall, a boy about six oot-hi, tho'hes. only 81 year od:then'their outwo digals, andlive or sicks young wens. Theni axed 'emri theyinewhoiwas, and theytared at me awhile, and at last SarnmKomallsez, sez he, " ye , i noe you very well. You sre Peleg ounce; I've licked you 3 times a'redd4, and i'll lick you agin if you aint siv ole.i Then i tuk up a ferrill and i thutupt on the. desk and yelled 'em i wos the skoolmaster, and wos sent their to taik keer of their merrils and if they would redther books, they'd lain it os- the hull duty of boise and als to mind what their techers tell'em So when they found i wos the skoolmaster they sot down. Sum ond 'etm sot still, and sm tawked, and other sum begun to crack shagbarks on 4hestove, and one gal begun to-fry a sassage on the stove. Then i telled the biggest boise and gals that they must belong to the fust class, and them that was a litleshort- er i put in the second clas, ndthe liestof ali put into the tother class. So their woeas at:chunkkid.1:ey their that aed he-wade more than the bigboie and s~e wanted to be put in the fust class; bit;he was8, tt as thd big hoise. So i teok a stringad u Mjte rund hi wate to sees if ha was big aenuf to put ink tieust page: 130-131[View Page 130-131] '~4~e~kedid pktan and throwed t e then t~1d im o ta~4 p a~be ferglled and he haw hawed ,r't _1 - y " bo the he run hum.n tolled the other s~qle~1 tati wa la h ws ge, an Sally Richson dh ad thkbe h ept the timeta kiss- The iE~ ~1~ u a east oun up, &nd. i axed 'em h nd theyedit wos made of irt at4 1teled emther osnore a tree in it. 'I~hri ca~ed th seon las and heered 'em say there ~katkiseari t e h oEerclas sd there-ag b ,and t'~ni et'm oatne appl onthe stove, ad wean thygte all#atd e shood ake roast apple fron'ei eeytim thy b~hve4 ~bad, nd soti- got five roastappl t fust and aast their was a gal that laff- ed 6tdi' d uoiwet to tak herroast apples ,bekase the $~as ne arg wo~,and thendier bo stpck~ up for ran aatahego e down and the skull er al rn ay. Soi'et off keepin' school and went to dig in'/pertaties for father. ^ aae so - 4~neloth J dee: ish ish vat shall pe te text vat I 3~ ;illiv;fin' to day : '}'rI'hisC7, wlfl. sibet hro ut teI U3 nieod States, except- ishe .::phrun:;otmpete horse ta teeslle called ~4pse~.n4whieh8hal rnvon tae'and get a pas of xnny ${ no~h Tat horse shall not e seen so ,d :r igoe, te ecpee lht is andnmake it:arki 'al tetipeleva nevewah1punn in t A~i etg~ to countryfor edyipse. .To text l1hasay teepse sl North' Ve _t' orner of'O,, , .r !at h ll yu,. get your Yankree eceeint tNrhVe on&Q'1 Oregos, pecae' n go teir wit your enhise I hlbr~ttvr e a you shall niot get i#1ei ityurehis 6 o shal send Mr. Poke teo ba but he hllom bckwttenelpean hll77 nev$ , CT- in teir at all, sure enough. Vat hall peteMOrse ter- ry It shall se onislandouinhem Ne, re te bear and te wildweidanihallike MI -hl p e te converted Jew is gone, as r Eg Sues shalt tell you apout. e ta- shall It shall pe into NQegons, e e hav a great battle wit te EnlbiiM andto Y.nkees shall . e on got flog. Tey shall ntihe rmi Vioon dish time. Le shallfloo Eish long toar minecounty.Rehllwie emvotg,.i to land andlin o ta and send to great plague to Lodei; the mine Got$ If Von 'Tromp bal pehere to 'go iht wt est corner obrgn it h t: igahi,, eb tbgiio he shall sw e away all f t$ Rnf .h,--ndina 4 te m never hall p' tt u hAu1l = *mer: anda cih teUn all ad to hithsip)l rn~#t othershianudcath t ern ooToiat-e. e tol rdi yevat ees a r dyen ih whs. page: 132-133[View Page 132-133] .o to ,goose,:If to goose shall not fly quite ss Vti' a4yr te 'tutchmans shall catch every al asevon day. Teyehall run like te t ksnd to .bulls in to slaughter htg02yT:; ,nber on Plasket, Mynheer Von Buttons, Mynhoer on bue and Mynheer Von Balls hall pe tt o ond to plate all summer, as te veaher4aF p ht andte n onlemans shall take offt tir ot~i ~ehr v ork t assarund to plates-. i otto spring the monish in your, pooisyou shall put it in your hat. LAGE-BLTTES CTE1. MinieGooteop-es; Your mini ter shall give you von Who sweeps a room as forthy sake, Makes that aid thenotion clean." Dis e hvsha~f old you dat yen you ish sweep te room, ou e clean!-Tat shall not be Mynheer Von, h l op dishroom, sur enough. He shall troomcle ve :beshall sweep him. If r }ili wep von house and shall not make it clean, den S on otter ting; but yen yousweep out dish church, ah1r deni ha he your duty to make it very clean, pe- oae. it is.a place yre tepreah ish made, and your min- e hallave fie people to sweep out dish church. In s hhaveMnheer Von pRuskins, who " veras r °4:to=sweep koit ery week-,,fortwo dollars a do cul rn be~eu t~ ckof to prom li hall. sw~p o *oo Ek vn gidronmi wiestrasand all " 5 i d i"',r n F' f " rn:."d l ". Ven, y ur ish come nto't to to ' c o salelng ee td off re'had on ,te clean place. Yen te ladiesscome i n,tshelall ptr frock and showiteir , to. towholek congregation. Ib shAllsee te= le+ o+ie.f yhe Bindes t,:and it shall pe as pig round asvontree I shallsoontell tat Woer to go mit his prooms, to to tuyvil. Arteratat sale Mynheer VonRk to sweep to house. Uesall promised eep her so cleal o shall see your face in ,ito io 4ike te booi.h hall1pe blacked by te naguysn yVo Uevon new proom from Mynhear Nagles, and l sweep to flooriallt to time. He shall do notting else butsweeto hneh. Ven to congregation shalt com tchrch osuda y o shall find Von Rnkoe mihproo, nd o d s be so pig tat it shall g to ey 9 i fill up.his mouth. He shall eadist li t i te Bible all to time as vat never shallbe. Den hefI1 tell Mynheer Von Ru notto weep t urch lto time; and Mynheer VonRau k .hall^get:mad ca.se he like to doi duty llrto tine. Carter tat ve shall have to ottehre ep make fire-in teo stovrin teo intogj to.rVon of:toni ihall - burn up your minise at k tr shall find Miss Kupigc+o',prayer book in totpewand shall sell it all forsschapps oww shel o yhe Craws to sweep tochurch ,d.h shall tv enough-only sometimes he ;shall drinkto mchscnapsl and shall ake toefireen to stoveon yaterda shall pgeallJw. heer Vo Gantlve voWnane ofgls pu ind tdr ebn oi to seedat yurmiitr shl hav i~ i ~rd&nx veek. Now yo shall ps runa r thetf our mpniser sall havvo U ca = page: 134-135[View Page 134-135] "4~N PE4&CON SNWBALL'S LEC~TO1R e.Your 'pected 4cher think pyop- rtt 'casion=to 'culpate on do follerin' text fl oh ' criptar' - Wlk up gentlemen, and see the bear dance.", Diis a p cy your, spected preacher which was de e e dey wasbiblding Noah's ark, and is s'posed toha bleen:spoke byde 'possle Absalom while he was. ah i indetreeb de earf is head. n di tex or spected precher is figgeratively call- t bae a bear-is ob de complexion ob or eerSecondly,bekase a bear sucks hs cl!,eand your 'spectedprebcher sacks pig's feet.- Thzelyk our 'spected preacher hab to bear a graie deafrocedcong tion o color. D o hde to d derniht when your 'spected ,b oh olor at d house ob Phillis Wi- daM Win. In dat 'portant 'oasion hifkes cu in'to ee your'spected preacher dance Btioi wasspresed Darfore your 'spec. itettintosben parts. In de fust pyu'boue pension ob walk up.- sum fokeso1riteo"to d+houSeto see your specterd c en look in at de winder, and otia^'v -a[i '-tde"'okr, r1$4.,zd yeayoh gohn p- dar is de way dat u il o phbleywid brush and'ora- '"_e.i."N 4i.et:' .,ick eg" gion ideofdechimabley } 4and 1 s tinib- -{ti todlg-e sidep addtkhs thumb- miS+aleiy 2 n3at%'Ae rnoi t 'ar till he getto d,,top.andden .-beholr oo ie-ol e e cry t oienlen Di wordiffom de O1.. geob de dictionary; darfore it is a dictionary word, BY DEAON SNOWBALL aND DIEo LAGEERBLATTER and depolite name for it am iemman. You want to know what a gemma darfore I am gwoineoto tell you--dar am gemmen oh. b orand gemmen ob de white color. Your 'spected preacher hab 'ployed a white gemman to clean de snow off his steps last winter. But -a white gem- man and a colored gemman ain't so good as de doff; be- kase de cloft am better dan a gemiman. Agemman iaon ly called Mister; but your 'spected preacher is called Reb- urrand, which signify dat he is a berry bigman. Darfore your 'spected preacher am de sheppard ob dis flock ob co lor; you am a flock oh back sheep wid plenty ob wool, and your 'spected preacher take keer ob de fleece.. What you tink is de ineanin' ob a gemman? Sum fokes tink it is bekase you live in a brick house wid soap-stone front and hab niggar gal to scour de - door-plate. Odder sum tinks dat dey is a gemman, if deyhab on a long-tale blue coat wid a watch in dar pocket aindhab a:gold chain hangin down dar belly:ondenoutside.ASumtimes derw kin' ob colored fokes is geminan and sumtines dey is no gern men at all. Your 'spected preacher had a glassin his west pocket, wid a chain, and -white top boot,rhen he went to de ball, but cononn niggars hab no bininess wid dem ting. Dey better pay Cesarha t dey owe in de sub lar. A rail gentleman is one dfatpays for- his clamnsoup and treats your 'spectedpreaerin desiulhrad puts de money in de hat. Todder division is about seein' debeardance. Par is great danger in dancing . enWh e ar dnetderigt, he hit his shin again a wash u dat wa;i o nn e severe pain ohbdat axidenlwadeeda h}lljgerl rqar in' lion dat isigeoine about seeki'pwh= he may detour On anudder 'asion a white bobbl r head agin de head of your specterd rehern de ball room, arid it knocked all densens rut Qb doh itd- der. page: 136-137[View Page 136-137] 11991, WM 40 e wa pve upon de hole. De 'hole haub in- i to 4 J g and ?eter Wid n who tolee a err u dws-edup o do atchhouse by ssa Violinake such kind' ob Music dat de.; a ob.:.color do' t ike todance.to it. Dey leff 4is lhm s de h use uob -70 preacher, and he spect d"t dey 19sy.t. Dr fr he plunderdem wicked Phillis. chin sadt tdggod bde churchby boihn' it in pt e your: ted -pacer.D power ob dis ha uestour te rea r to pay for it. arfore Pl t money i d hat to pay for di S et up, n f y don't pafor it, you e t tde b ore ou will put scents i e h, am"sre;day: - sense enopgh in dis church tr Slocu wll hand 'round de lldemattocribe ipence apeace to pay fr dia barnwill la",",e o hirld upFarh'hand. You brack A * 4y hold up his hand but old Simon andyhjb got no hand and only holds up de. S tlr . ;. -a'rund.d.hat. : 'hei is ~thi tucked up beer but the sa gthtgoing on all over the world. They s a t ths+1 PW"'r y M eM c an s is a llrM d rmo n s,'a n d if' th a t's tr, iny orta be kilt. ifgo in for the doctor- } _ th tahe e o han ;titeto live no more;than fiieral taiors hasltthem he vdoUandlis cier as he can drink. B :7" t ta "i$' Wid ibV f o ti ngoin'on up'eeer tue. W niy may'=is, ti the Mroniotes is eoarting up _[slyqr'alltrafds mu t 'live or else you coul~i't iaong now how. 3D DACON BNOW~yAJ pgLipDgAGER&BLaTTR. Jfl Sally Lumpking is the chief gal that's doing' up the coarting now. S got a new gowud from BQstown and she wore it to meatin won Sundy, and as sune as the fel. lers seed that, then was great times i an tell you. They all got tegether under the shed where thehsses i dept and begun to tok about Sally Lurnpkins. They konklud- ed that sense she'd got that nue frock. as she was the hansumest gal in our parts. All on 'em had thatnoshun and so they smacked their lips and sed they should:like to hav her for there true lovyer. That nite Jbe awbus that works for Mr. Grpnt, went up ,to;thehouse.and call- ed for to see Sally Lumpking. She waswadina'out the childs diaper in the soup dish when Job go'ther. So Job took off his hat and sot down von sideof the door and look't at her whilst, she was tue ork a washing' of it. At last she seed that he lookt at her verry sharp, and then she sais to him, what are you doin' onbeer? Then sais Job, i doan't no. £ thort mebby you'd set up with a feller to nite. Then she was dredfully astonished , bekase nofellerhad evver aited to set up With her bed and she lung the dia-. per under the bed and cum and sot dgwn y a nd wos as good as you plieze. Then the old es g anuther and went of,iJnto uthr rowa .Artethe a gone, Job sed her"hatwos a pretty gowedthat you had on to church today y." Then she wo still agood_wile and ddn't' a word for she'd forgot :abut the gywed; ap k ing. She didn't aensura word; fpnor 7ww fy:lte that it must by the gowned witgl } then she thortif itgt wun it :ie-g.t, rtherna she ha e;ver: hada ee o st sh to gi4aplenty 'a rn w to m k u 4.ratt)p1 ; fo r she didn't bleave but what be new pgone4fo page: 138-139[View Page 138-139] town wold ia plenty of others besides Job, jest as yo keh ats ith a bit of toasted cheese. So arter Job hAd arted her up and sed al sorts of things to her, how h=lik dher like new Bider, and wood lick any man that se; sh. woe tt a pritty as a ripe gooseberry, and all oe of hn ofthatlkind, ad then when he got up to g-aud axedheriwhen he wood let him um again, she sed e nedt takallthat trubble to cum all the way on te a anshe wood excuse him from it. He loot a zed as aat whe you drive it out of a cheer bekase shehald bYeen soAeer at fust. He sed he wood hve saxifadion fort if it cost him haff a dollar. She didn't kerfoshe had found out that she could git boze ifh ee frock that came front Bostown. He went o ai slain d the 'dar so loud'that it woke up the old fokes and they thort the Mormons was cum. Nizt nd rindaite there was another wun went up their it was'P&ter Swipes: He went in and begun tu talk to her about } tDu uefrock she'd gut, and she felt wunderful ukup; and thort she might sarve him the; same. So r ad sot abnt tue ousrshe telled him it was f6hn to go bin. He jumpt rite up and dived rite through theinderad'sashed2 pins of glass, he was so mad. n t er haddenthabeenopen, he wood hay broke tieullndut hisef intothe bargain. When he went, okeuthe fokes te nd they thort the divvil had 'run'.awawith oe part of the house: So she waited ti nut aay =be thiwas another bo went uptheir. He ~t ~u ~pat ofdra so that' he needn't trimble whenhhetsto e4 her,fo r heought her Bostoun froc was snihg grate,,andhbe Na kdof feared of her eadin; hen le seed her in her calliko ig eastore diddent feel no more afeard o in he did oTide(ins. Now when he went there adseedher ilf er new froe on, be kinder hun doun BY DEACON SNOWbALL ANDPIDiBX OE LAGER-BLATTER. ig his head, for he thort she was a terrible big lady. He lookt at her and she lookt at him, and they lookt sideways and backwards and crossways, and then lookt at the old fokes and the' old fokes went out. As soon as the old fokes was gone, he begun to coart, and Sally diddent like him so well as any of the rest, and she giv him the bag be4 he had coated her an our. He sneaked out the kitchen dore, and fell into the swill pale jest as he gut out. He upsot the pale ahd gut this sunday shoes and stockings all fullofswill.le was afeard the old fokes wood hear how he got the bag andhe tried to keep it all to hisself, utevveyudd hered on it, and laffed at him. e woeso nad he went 'doun to the 4 corners and hired out to Sam Swett to hoacorn. The nixt sunday their wos a feller oum up to the house and Sally liked the looks of him dredfully. He was dred- ful putty all the gals sed. So he'sot doun, and aint and sut, and the old fokesGwent off to bed. He tocked a lit - tie to Sally, and ber:hart went pit a pat so fast.that you coodnt count the motions. At lastphe lookt round And inquired for her farther. "He's gone to bed? sais Sall "so you can say anything yo please toie" "but it was your faster i'wanted to see, about some land,"' sais he, and he got up and wentoff.'Then Sally felt awful, and nobaddy has been to see hersine, and haf 'a dozen other gals hay gut frooks f r Bostown now, and she aint gotno fellor to come for to coart her up. Yourn Suas GaUanu DEAoN SNOWBIlT LECT IM,, Bell bbed Bruddrena: your 'spected preacher .proximate dis 'ticklar Jcasionwid-de follerin' superfluous and carnif- erous. words ob de 'possle -SimonMague " Our sufferings is intolerable," page: 140-141[View Page 140-141] QO -l9 MTVUR-, 4Qof 140 DPafore he, .lou dat our suffering is intolerable, and di 'hide in a .ftioker manner to de poppylation ob color. It l to de fack d t when dey hit dat shin agin a rock ax sufferrings isIntolerable. But when dey ha a anytigg den dey don't suffer at all, be- k d ei a hick on 'count dat do brains is bet- terda a brains white , and darfore dey hab a Sut m in like deseiron safes dat brudder e h on he cllek. But de suff- do a i on ohcolor i intolerable also when y9 tred1on dat heel. Anoader test says, "Get off my h y read onr your -'spected preacher's heel e as a4 awiat was giben by Chloe Phil- lips, apr den d jsuffein8 ob your 'spected preacher was ntl 0b lei1 ,: e elher to get off, and den she make a y" ud ydat ,e hopyourpreacher beg her par- d n ,iditl and shp made a curohee clear down to. the flp. or '0. «apected preacher den put his two hands n- der idaid a berry polite bow to de lady, a 'd 1herocmpliments obd seaou, for it was ber- ry eandasdefust day oh April when de ripe fruit was on do trees, degrass was mowed in do medders a epeopl had on dar best-close. Diexti diwidedintthree divisions: de fust diwis-. ion press de natur of su ni'; desecond diwision 'spres- ses 4aeaul *N9odo wordeseff; and de third diwision 'sp} e sufferi'oh yourspected preacher. -- Do Leut diwisiow wh tittiwate on all natur ob sufer- wu he piry sprained your saxifaction if one ob di 1longregation o color would 'tep up to de desk and let your raher 'tikainn his ear. Whn you b+ iisedyour sin dais do natur ob suffern. Now do s o p d poppylation ob color is berry 'ticklar, as de 'cripter tell you, dat "near si my shirt, but nearer is my aki. BY DEACON SNOwBALL AND DhIDBIOH LARGE L ATr. 14 Bruddren,-de second bobserwation 'lude to de meaning ob de word sufferins; de moanin' ob deo word is de same as suffer. If you suffer, dat means dat you hab sufferins and .if you hab sufferins dat means dat you suffer, and if you suffer much, den you suffer so ne, end dat is whatde word sufferins is 'rived frum. Whenyou go to d polls to wote, den dat is de sufferins ob de people. In de 'tate of Rhode Island, dey hab de sufferinscause. I hadn't heered how dey get on dar wid dat cause but Ispose dey is fit ing dar yet, and dat thousands and tousands isbleadinin dar gore. Todder division stresss de sufferins ob your 'pected preacher, and dis is de most 'portant ob all; f.eyur' be- lubbed preacher is at de head ob de church, and, darfore, when he suffer, you all suffer at de sanie time. Besides dat, your 'spected preacher 'long to de high class ob soci- ety ; and when one ob de high class sufferit is great deal more dan when de wulgar class suer. A pain in your 'spected preacher's great toe is oh more consekence than for one ob you common niggars to lose your head. Your 'spected preacher hab had a greater ipany sufer- ins. Hb hab had de rheumatiz tree-times; do measles once, and one time he hab de seben vears' itch. Once he was slapped in de face by Patience -Phillips, and once he hab his hair pulledby Phillis Jonsing. Once ho hab to run for his life down Leverett street , when he was chased by a big.dog; and once he was crossed in ub, de time h6 paid 'tention to' dat caller gal up in Schove 'tre. On one 'portant 'asion he'like to kit heseif eatiaca oup, and dey was 'bliged to carry'him hum on a wheel-barh, Dese is de 'ticklars ob de sauferins ohbyou spe6ped, pro. cher wich am stressedd on dis 'ticklar 'casionfor'your de- struction in righteousne s. Your specterd preacher hab heeled roin his brudder lately; dis birudder of his is a berrybig iggar -h' page: 142-143[View Page 142-143] ,wi4 e:4bi ~ as your 'spected Preacher and can lick two Ui,7 I.n etln. Ho 'moved tofong Island to carry f, Ir business. Dat consists of being round illdarhogs and beggn' de brussels off. off{ si '.:et ;de a b ssles to de shoemaker's and he ellmto:.ke wazends. He get a cent for ebery hundred l de b r. When he went dar fust be was xin d 4et.pkY of a i ra'ernran ob color and begged for him;rbut - t e begs. on is swn 'count, hating sot up for himself. ar'rote toyor 'spected preacher to say dat, l e * 'i9. good health except habiag do rumatiz, and lie hope your #spected preacher was enjoying de sam' blesing. shall prove upon de hole. Eberybody hay ri ite tieKate Widgeon lhab a boat mu ff andleae her. Peter Jumbo got a wife dat he xectderniggiars too well; he toW dis to yor y i pet,( precher'n confidence, and I hope she take wrd is'portant'easion, afd leay' off dem tricks. As tedpeacher hab veered from his brudder and: h&:to aydpostage on deletter, he hope dat you 11 ptvpletob munnyfin do hat dis time. Yoiwill 'hge your {peted preacher berry much if you do dat as, h s be short obtcash at dis time. 'YKEE LETTER. ne: i sposegyou 'aint heered about our Bisha nor oth t wenthdown to your plaice. Up their in y a ore heen than their{am up our way; but h en gro en bigger, nor the trees Ait i6 i ein your w than they am down this way. They sa they is more perliter, but they are getting to be Wte up heor, for they call every woman a lady j ~ man ajentlerean. Won you. go into a stoare BY DEACON swOWB4w .&IP DG EA R.14; now, they maik a low bow to you and they say "s sir '" and no sir." They atoking about having a ale-rode tue, and sum think that.they will hav' a ste nabote on the mipond witch will be the biggest thing that wos evver none inthese parts; for then the gals can go ad sale in the steerbote, espeshally the gals that lives in the factory. Their is one gal their hoo is so fat that it wood taiktue steembotes to holdher. Her name is Sally. Jakes. She beu togrow fat tue yar ago anthe fall, andse has ben batting up ever sense. rtstocki0gs is a04g i as a meel bag, and the only small thingie ots hebus- tle. Sum say that she wares none at al rap she doant need won. She ,as been carted by enemy p all the fellers in the villedge for the last tue yeer, nd tiey say how she gets fat .upon: :ove and coartng. Every iss that she gits puts an ounce of fat upon her; andshe ito- about-tue duzzen every +er of her life, Whenever she goes. wn to Wooster every won Iooks at her and-wants to no where she was raised; and when any one has the consumpshin he thinks he wi lgo to live in thelaice where she was raised, as itmust be a very helthy plaice. Her fokes are verry proud of her dare always bragging how much she ways. Whenever she goze down to Wooster, they taik her to the hay scales to be wade. As soon as she gets ten more pound onto her, she has the promise of a new frock 4onr the minister. she has a new frock for every ten pound for the last yeer and is going to hav' it alwais. Herfokes are in hopes that if she 'keeps on fatting, she wil aik her foriniPby it as she can sell thefrocks carter she gifts a yf 'em. The fellers haves no objeckshue to coart her e doant keer much about-getting married t'jeras itke a pleggid big shu for her fut, and the yaani foer ~ page: 144-145[View Page 144-145] j4oiCO() LECTOins, d., ris tld oa i6f dependent fortin tue; You ort to ; t cht talk to maik hefa dress., When it is washed andfangs out on the line to dry, it looks as if all out of doors wouldn'tt hold it. Besides that she talks n pleggd ite of witt . It's calkeltated that the porkbarflasonly haff as long asit would if she was not.in the family. As to aigs, she will go into the barn when ahenis just beginning to set, and drive her off the nest andLuck ill the aigs in less than no time, and then she'lfdintue gallon of syder sterward. Sbe'the ost onstracious eater that evver was rased inthe art s, and evvery won is afeared to inarry her incoarse. i wood hav' the cretur no more than i wood taikafat oxto board. Her fokes had a noshun to put her ofien meand they cum up to see farther and muther aboutit; but we all noed the reason that they wanted to git her off. Mother axed 'em how -many frocks she had got, and they sed she had sevex4sen, and they was big wons tie. i7en she axed how many petticoats, and they sed seven 1But they wouldn't agree to giv nothin' extra, and our fokes wouldn't heer to 'that at awl; because they ort to hav' gin sumthing hansurn considdering the 'expence of keepin the critter. As'for the gal herself, i got mad with her rite off for she not down on my new hat, which 'was laying in a cheer dndasuashed it as flat as a pancake. Nothin' ever gits, 6ver it.rter she s sot down on to it. If she sets down o toacatits as bad as if a mountain tumble on to it; itnivyirbrethen agiin io more than if it had its head co tff. She cuni along andput her arm round - my neck,'an'ed me if i noed that our fokes was a going to chase my condition, and i telled her that i noed no sitch things, axid that she'd better keep of, as i didn't want to a'uhi' to do ith her. Ther she axed me if i didn't 1ove )er nid i sod yes, as i loved the fat old SO* out 'in. BY DEACON SNOWBALL gp D LER-BLTTER 145 the pen, aud no better "'hen he te tell one hcw menny fellers 'ha4tist er, and how he had;:been'c aled the noblest lookis eo =annthe place i was mademff to slap her gegthonly she was so big that i a kinder feared of her. She's got a fist like an ox, and i ve heeredtell how she knocked down .a hoes won day for rkickiig her. in the bowels. i doant suppose that the hoss didit a. purpose, but he couldn't hel it very well, -s she kivvered over so much space, and he couldn't kick tether side of her. As for our Bisha, if you see him down in yuregarts, jest tell him that the cow has got a ,af. It. wade born nite before last and every body sai' that t looksrlikewn of the family. Ben Staples has been up tsee about git- ting that colt of his'n, and sais he wod :'wally -g. ing tue fine hogs and his big dog for him, tho',:for that, he sais he shan't hay' no use for the colt this ,sumer-, with- out their should cum awar with the Brit.iFs when Cappern Sanders will want him to go offnfie the ennemy. i wish youd jest inquire the price of a pair of .trowsis down in yure parts, as i want to git a pare to ware to meetin', and they tell me that they cum cheeper in Bos- town than they doors lier. i want you should hay' 'em to fit well if you buy me a pareIand i'll send you down the munny in a letter. Evverybpdy sais that there'll be a war, and thate begun to fite down to Bostow now. f you d git kilt in the war they are havin' d thir etg peace put' into sumi other paper, for ll thali have red it, and they wato t in up d d fully. Sono me from youriy. det^ Soio'B om 4 4 0 page: 146-147[View Page 146-147] iONC LEO ;,. LC. LAGEE-BLATTER'8 LECTUBE. Mine oot eples: Your ministry shall give you von text dish dag f our greatshellybrashun: All dish vorld's von stage-Coach i" As Mynheer Yen Shakespear say. "pow, how ish dat?" saysyou.Shut up your ear tight, and I vill tell you; ve all go vorth into te vorid togedder- Some haf te back seat -some te vorward-and some in te little, te minis- ters a te triVers. Now dare i h all sort of fokes in te stage.tSo"re ish in life. Te stage-eoach is only life in vonlittle shail minitture. Tare you see te lawyer. He haffvonvery sick face, plenty of-vot you call--cheek, andvon oily tongue. An he tell you of von treshpass on te land or in , house. Meanvile ve trees pass as ve ride aWo Antresh to doctor-you may shell him out mit hisvas in his pocket. And he say, "mine vriend, you look ale! let me feel your pulsh-oh, mine goot sir!i ter , i.oral ash much fever in your plud? And ten he eull out his iether-case, and give you von letel powder, virlif ypu take him, ish all te same just like as if you be red of mit load of gunpowder in your powers. An' he axyu haven't you some acrimonious belchin' in te morn- in',youBay " Vy, yes, I guess so!".-" Vel," says he, "dat i i tdab you not von small pain in your leetel;toe?' den you tink, tink, and at last you remetber him, dat le- tel pain u.He give you von plaisturc and say, "put dish e afo~~lg, tree' nites, red you no feel dat pain." outno matter vre; for if you put it on aaU, you put its n 'von grate "Calf Andi ashst age-coach Of life, you find tat tredful an. imAsh uever -as, te nckleator; he say, "How much, y rtt " you ay so much. He den' runs on de price oe India, R i and amschatka; and den l saygr, ou so niuch aid, moreash less. But do BY DEACON SNOWBALLAND DIEDRIOH LAGE'-BBLTER t not pite! pecause like all fishermans, under tat paitis vus pig hook, tat shall ketch you by te jaw; and nothing but 12 men shall pull him out. Ten tare ish te lady 'of extraordinary vartue, she look like von duck drinking, so pious and- devout. And she sighs awfully and shows the vite of her eye. And den she look you in her face, so as if you would melt and run down 4ll your flesh and bones into your shoes. Ha! ha! dare is grate dangers in dish: you no hold back, she vill draw you over te' prink of te hill of life- and chuck you clean over amongst de .sand and rocks, and oder varmint., Den tare ish te light-fingered shentelrnan, he very soft smooth, and sly. His lips drop molasses and'water; and he tell a story very interesting, and. youneays "indeed! 'pon honor! astonishing!". And so you fin4t ishn de driver call for hi "fare;" and you find dat ur pocket- book is no whare! and dish shweet spoken manji'so. Now mipe dear shoules, you must conside-, tall de passengers in de coach must pay de fare. So pass ouad de plate. DEACON 81"0WBAWLS LECTURE. Bellubbed Bruddren: on dis superficial and posthousca - sion we shall explunge and obviate upon de text dat ii dese 'portant words ob de 'possle Zaccheus- ButSooa wonder came to'light That showl the- rogues they died ;:+ She was .recovered, of the bite, The 'dog it was that died.'* In dis text, you see dat a wonlar cum to ,ight'P;r gest wonder dat your .spected teacher klna a dem long taller candles uade b your spTe e sister,Phills Orow, who ariedd- m ; ,r Crow." When dese candle m odeil t 4 page: 148-149[View Page 148-149] 148', COMIC LEOTtf E, &C", ji. r= , at d y a wed de rogues'4at dey lied on lass sat. te it is a fortnight. } :a treeahe- ggairs and wun she-mggar dat come i4 dehooise of your 'speoted preacher, kindle a fire, and out hd ierde kitchin, and when your 's ected pracherheered e courting, he got up to see w a was ;enia.tter- and he seed dein population ob color in de dain aA ddey make noise like aoat to make your preach- er bleeve datit was nossin but cats. Den your 'spected preacher lit one of dese candle and went into de kitchen, d seed d dey was not cats but niggars ob color. Dar- e+dese wonders brote to light showed de rogues dey i. ede De irddiwission ob de text is berryportant on dis icka asixd'lude to de fack dat de man recovered b te. eis divided into sebenteen diwiseions; whn yo sumboddy and 'when you bite yourself and when y btealobster it is anudder' diwision. f 'chide Tony Nikles dat bit off de e o Phillis = Tngngt a camp meeting, bekase he was so happy dat he had got re ion. When~rou bite yourself you better be doing sumthig ee. Tour 's'9ted preacher bit his tongue'one day dat #hwas eatm c soup, and arter date nebber e? soup w,, pusJiii his tongue baek out ob de way wid his ryouat deman recubber ob de bite, aud ~he~ff.Dat is a soleimnaarnin' to de dog pop- w 0: eybte fokesbek e de text tell you dat i e ay dey die darseffand de man gets is by do.teo 'botithedderhe die s natural ,'d=r w9ewas'lt by de wite population readchr ~s ~i to de 'piion dat dis dog ~skiltfortl benefit BYEACON SNOWBALL ANDEDOR-LA -BLATTER I hab 'suited wid OCsar Widgeon on de spbjeck audhe hab de samo'pinion, ad esar hab kop~ Illklong' eiu to know 'bout dose:tings. All dis is berry 'strnctive to your corporosity. It ho* dat 'if you bite odder -fokes, you get used up yourseff. I hopeyou remember him, you brack scorpions. De lass -time your 'spected preacher hold forth inz dis house, he loss a west-coat button. He is credutously in formed dat Sal Phillips pick it up and 'put it in her pock- et. She is quested to leaf debuttoh to de keer of Cesar- and if she'll sew it on, dar'will be no more said about de matter. Brass buttons will be taken in de hat when you aint got no cents. Puter and-horn, buttons will not be 'cepted. Dat niggar. down dar dat wears so man Hutto on his jacket can spare two or three to put in t,:arBrud- der Cole shall be 'pointed to cut off your 11,when dey,ha too miany on dar jacket. What you ob so many button? In dis g'lihtened age, dar am more wo ders dat comes to light. Some ob dese wonders irberry ark. one ob dem is Sophia . ig;dat ,to lht alass Money night arter she been away to get married widout axing de- advice ob your 'spected preacher.If .et married widout axing de adwice ob your belubb r, you can't aspectt to do, well, and you must 'spect tur ned out ob de church. Before you get marie ur duty to 'peak to your 'seoted preacher ad sef not hab de honor ob hi hand b ehe marry you heseff. NowI'm gwoin_ to prove u on de hole place daris a dog andani de test, twixtt a dog anda man eyti hab got two ears, andu lba a. D a 4 4Y 4' 4' 4 page: 150-151[View Page 150-151] ] . :COMIC LECTURES, &C.,r nose, but de man's nose is flat, all cept wite cokes 'cause dey isspurious in' of fokes; den a wite man habno heel, wieh show dey belong to de dog specie; but de poppyla. tion ob color hab foot on two sides, before and behind like bird, .bekase dey is ob de crow specie. Now Cesar will pass "round de'hat, and dis is de 'portant bizaese dat dis congregation curn heah for. Dar will be Iecktur in dis house at 'leben o'clock dis ebenin' on which portrait oasion'your 'spected preacher will delectate up- on de 'wantages ob thin breeches in warm wedder. YANKEE LETTER. Mister Editear: I spose you've' heered down your weigh, about4,{is naa tion of teekus. It's made a grate tock up hears gverdy is goin' on about it. Farther and un- ole Ob gedi ez'that teekus shan't be naturalized, as long as the ve, for they will call a town meetin' fust and that ill put" stop to it at wunce. Farther tellemother all about it, and when she heered the ,hull story, e lade down her spectacles and sod that shew. sure °mpething was going to happen to 'this country, and that'the people had got to be so wicked that su dredful judgment wood taik plaice, and she sed that sherad a dream other nite, and she seed in her, dreem two 'ters a fiting awd won of them tore the tother one 4 off'and when she woke up, she was all-of a S}t tnd he cheered a rhen crow just as she waked. a hen that crowed jist before Ant Jeminna die n tis alwaylookt on as a bad sine for a hen to :f th sed bhe bleeved that this teekus affair wood brn ab' hedeend of the wgrld and that that was a ster Miner meant in his rofticy. Pretty aoe old ter 'the miller came n, and BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND;DIEDERICHLAGERBLATTER. i he begun to' tell abont this ere Teekus, and so we all in- tarmined to go against the naxstion of teekus. Mother and sister Patience and all are going against the naxa- tion. Yesterday in the evening, there was a grate meet- ing in the tavern up stares and the greatest orritor that ever was there, and he preached about this ere naxation of teekus. He said that the was all wild, injuns their and Spanish niggars, and that if we joined teekus to this country, the pope wood hay' the rule over the hull place, and they wood steel and rob us-and their wood be no quiet! ness hear at all. He sed that the turks and the, algeines lived in teekus and they wood come 'hear and devour our corn fields and eat up our substance, and that there wood be wars and rumors. He telled about a friend of his'n that had jest come back from teekus and he telled wha tdredful goins on their was their. There was no laws there at all, and the bares and lyons run wild and devoured a hundred and twenty men, wimmin and children in one day. S, if teekus was to git jined to this country-their would be bares and lyons in the United States, and we would'n none of -us be safety a minit. It was dredful tqyheer him stock. Then he said that they had niggars to sell theiruand hull ship-lodes. was brought from: their and carried off to London to be sold to work on the cotton plantations in London. He had a little white hankercher and arter he'd done talkin', he wipt his face with it, and he took a irink o' water out of a tumbler. Then he begun agin and he weit on, and he teded about the savageous folkes thgre in teekus, andhe aid that everybody there was gamblers and theirwas nothing done there only to run races with losses, anteverybedy was 'layin' 9 pins all the time., Arter we heered that 1%ech, we all declared rite off r _ : page: 152-153[View Page 152-153] :ta w u4'n here to havin' teekus nazation at no rate t.a"l. iste i4dtience andruth Jonson hay' been form. ssiety agin the naxaiion of teekus and they will et ite smallest fovoirs in munny and close to go Sagbtee . rs.an4 to hire fokes to preach again teekus atthe pping turtles and wi rds that lives there }andhowithe eopa i.goin' to liv' in teekus and how the living hopes imidge to the villidge and sell 'emfirs to;wuhip. The-galhas agreed that theywont marry annyboddy that likes naxation of teekus. So all the young fellers has'greed togo aginmthe naxation. veryb~ddy has sot out on it and they've got the mmn- riearletter toMr.Jacobs hoo was a member of t slatour,and they're gointo git him to vote again t .t= ectiify about it, ad'that will stop the naxa- goie to giv a dinner to Mr. Pease the lawyer, andwe're :in hpags that that will stop the proseeding and so thy tav' no naxation. in' to hay' a naxation party nixt week Sads wantsat you should cni up hear and 'tend the pary, ad = ger wife with yer. Their will be as much :;igerad a you can ete and sumthin' to rink, a:.nd°yumay fillyu rjpockets and yer wife may fill her "bag fihl1 SD~ sends her luv to you and wants you to e y Jes has got a little book that she-calls ab o rite asmthin' in it. Its rt in OY 4 !e yM1i4dup hear sez the lines is most loe in grate degree And ho youwill rernember me BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DnRICH LAGE ATTR." i hope in all good ways yot'lllive Arid hope is flesh you'll always thrive, till fat as sister-Patience;you will be Ad dwell in health wherever that you be." This poetness was showe4to the minister and the schoolnaster and they sed it was fust-rate.. Al the als brort there albombs for me to rite in 'em and i axed four= pence a-peace to rite, in the albomnbs. Yours to sarve, RICHAJ Hozxm- LAGER-BLATTERS LECTURE. Aline Goot Peop e: Ydur minister shall puttyou von text. It shall pe in tese vords "Long shadowed around us ere streaming Away from the chaibers of dawn; From the peach tree inloveliness gteamin, Or the cowslip that laughs on the lawn.' Te text shall told you tat shadows vash stre a ng Te shadows upon te streams as you shall ee yu face a te vaters. Teir shall pete chamber of dawn. Vatchamber shall tat be? Their is te chamber of eers, t achanfercf vere you shall sleep and te starchamberibut s h l pe to chamber of dawn. tin itkshl be von chaiuber vere you shalllimi up von ladder lo see teu ise. It shall pe te chamber of dawn. Te todder part of te text shall told yot, tat teir ish Von cowslip laughingor the lawn. _shal never hear te cowslip laugh ' atishall°Te, lit all tin.iou shallunderstandtrvatt t shall slip down ontelawn, and.tIpeeple"shnlt t he sure enough. at a t h has e times laugh at our ian r e h don. .tV rM/y i ray Mn dog sha~ 'l .;9baCi* iF~'1 rr ii .t e ' nd, yvi our ... .. I, page: 154-155[View Page 154-155] COMIC. LECTURES &C., 4gshallpite yourminister very bad on te preaches, and your mistr sh l4 slip down, and teir shall pe two Yan- kee ladies'teir, who shall laugh at your mini ter ven he all .fin te mud, But tey, shall laugh mit their non- sense for their trouble, for to mud and woter shall not come through all to preeches of your minister. It only come. through five pair, and te otter two pair shall be dry as yneer Venderblans, ven he shalt, have no schn app for:von.whole veek.V Tierpore' you shall see tem have teir pains to laugh for nottiig at all. If tey laugh ven von cow shall fall down, it shallpe von great sin; it shall pe blasphemies. If you Iaugh ven te cow slip down on to lawn, it shall pe all vol.enough. If she preak off her tail ven she slip down, S ou shall laugh te more; but their shall pe von difference petwena minister and a cow, I.shall tell you. Suppose a minister fall down and ;proas his neck, ten you shall haveno preach, and vere shall you all go, if you shall have no:peach?. Tetext:tell ou dat from to peach tree shall pe loveli- ness gleaning. That shall mean tat one pretty gal shall pe 'u in ge poach tree. You shall look up in to tree and see lovele gle ming, as her eyes shall pe so bright, sure enough. Now you shall put everytig in the plate, all tat you shall got in your pockets, except your hand- lercher, sure enough; and ten to church ish out till you come again. DEACON' SNOWBAWLS LECTURE. TBed4 .tddr On die olfctory 'casion your 'spec- tedpreacher will delude yon widdo follerin- ortant text ob criptur', rit by depossle Massa Greely: "Uinx; nx the 'devil winks, Thefat begins to 'fry' Is'portant test 'spres the vanity ob the fair see' and B3Y D~hACON SNOWBALL AND-DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTER. I f 'lude 'tcklarly to Patience Phillips. and Luke Jonsing's widder. Dis passage ob 'criptur is diwided tintotwo parts; de top part, and de under part-dar is a middle part too, but dat is too tedious to mention. -De top part stresss de parpendicklars ob do debble, and de under one 'spress do 'ticklars ob fat; darfore de fustpart is deiust diwision, and de second part is de second didission. Darfore your spected preacher will diwide doeword like a apple cut' in two haffs, and throw away de corg which is de third haff and wich is to tedous 'to mention; de fust diwission is de perpendicklars ob de debbil. Hinx fink is de speritual name for your 'spected preacher. - Whenebb ber de debble looks -at your 'spected preacher he winks, for de sight ob him "makes de debbIe's eyes sore. He knaws dat your 'spected preacher is a sledgehammer t- knock his old brains out, and to stroyy his: kirlgdom wich he is tryin' to bild up among dis 'spectable flock ob color. He darfore hate de sight of your 'spected preacher--dar- fore de fust diwission ob de text presss de fact dat your 'spected preacher makes de debbie' wink. Now de second diwission is de second part, and stresss de 'portant fack dat de fat begins to fry. Y under'tan' ,do meanin' ob dat. When Cesar Widgeon ies clama-in. de sullar, you know dat he put in a little fat. If he put in no fat, he no fry de clam; dar am warous kinds of de fat-dar is mutton fat, fat ob mutton, fat of beef, and fat ob lobster, wish is green, But dar is a spiritual fat. Massa Faro (Pharaoh?) had seen beasts dat was called kind, but dey wa'n't kind at all for dey eat up dem odder seven kind dat was lean. When annyboddy -wanta to git away houses dat b'tongs to sum bdy elsegy ey adat dey hab a lien on dem houses; dese is like dem nd. :dat eat up odder fokes. Darfore de speritual meamn' ob-fat signify de natur ob do debbil. ' Now when your speedd preacher 'tand up in do pulpit page: 156-157[View Page 156-157] 16 COMIC ' $E3J~, &o., 1epnt eba in.his frymg-pan, and d fat begins to fry.W~~r'~ektd preacher preach much longer, he p a dod fellerrwill be dead. soon. You glad to ~ard~, oubrak soripins? No, ILguess not-.I guess 4Yty .~ m o u r =soonthim ? I tin k y o u 'ten d h is fu n era l, y ou Dde.into seven parts. First division ahis ; se4 is tonue which is like a k D trddMission is .histail which is as long a a cal .o :asip! I tell you all die for your saxifac- oi andyur destuction in righteousness. I hope you tinkon'em. Your 'spected preacher 'form dis congregation ob color dat heh"-asgot a letter from his aunt Sally of Peekskill, and 44 shne 'qest your 'spected preacher to spend de monf ob August at dat lightfull sittivation, if dis much 'bused congregation'ob color wood spare de money to buy oot o' done.rand pump' and white 'tokgin and ruffle, and payedo expense ohl de erney.. Your preacher will take do ralerode and will get whitewashed before he start, so dathean ride in de genteel cars 'cordin to de dignity ob obhisoff;.' for he will 'fuse to ride in de Jim Crow car on 'con obd portance ob your spected preacher; for a ge an ob his singuished piety and humility is 'titled .de best place. Now:I'm !gwoine to, prove upon. de, 'hole; de text tell ut a daris no fat datis ekal to possum fat; pos- atd homeyis deopride obedo poppylation-ob col- :r Wtik she do te ing when she gib .1 oi'pe+t d, preache,.a plate"ob lobster, fat But pos- o e trfda double's tail is re..psomeb oloris.fat; an4 SamnJumboahab got a fatleg; and dey.caL itdeout bekese helib toigh; he b ".p hin s pettre ' stonsC $^go When you lib high By DEAOON SNOWBALL AND Ipl!DWOH LAGERBLATTE. On Ais 'tickler 'casion your preaher will pss'oud d hat hesef; as he wants to see wh puts ien nto ode hat; and when he find out who don'puti ent, he ill leaf dem out in his prayers, and dey will nebbarAget dar sins saved. Eberybodyis 'vited to a ball in de sull r tomorre- night. Your 'spected preacier-hope dat des lns ting to drink to pay de axpense. White fokes wailbe 'lwed to cun, if day 'have darseff. Youra'petedpre;harun- der'tan' dat Hepsey King=habrelaorteddaty belubbed pastur ki8Sedher todder night: darfore your'speeted preacher will sue her for breach oh promise, bekase it is all a lie. Mister Editur: i had heered so mutch about that air de- king Snowball that printshis Barmnts in your paper so i intarmined to go to bostown and sea him hus Wewas both consarned in helpin you along With our ritis nd i thort it wood be very well for tue sich :spectable people to get akawinted. So i put te appl each cote pocket and a hunk of bread in my bre poket; and sot out in uncle Josh's wagging to un down to bos- town and sea the deking. When i got to bostown i thort that ever yboddy noed where the dking hived, as-he was suchag i'at ran. so 1 went ito shop and aged 'em her the dekingSnow- ball lived, aid=they'axed.me.whi ated hre i cum from, and so i got mad and""vh11t out."Then t w into a place. in Cors hl*h r raed6d thek*t.w of in nigger up to the Wiudet, and ithorttobsre, they'd nog; but theylooked asmadvaared pee d thdt Snonbal was aman and abthe and awl hat ~Ore page: 158-159[View Page 158-159] ISO8' COMIC :LEcTURS; ,&a:; adtheir iseedsumniggars out at the doe and th d0l0e toen Thenr felt shure, i shood find ou h ed ied,sd i went into one', shop and p y ' ig ar and he axed me what i won. ted to band i tolled him nothing . Thn e e- raps you wont to sell sumthing?" l no-.buti wanted to ax him where decon Snobal lie n he got as mad as seven men, and telled me to go longtofthe shop or he wood lick me rite off. I thort it wood'be a disgrace to fite a niggar, and so i cleered out So i thort it was nouse to inquire any more as the decon was ,nt to'be found. hena brite thort cum into my head, and when i met a little nijgar down by Fuunil market, i axed him where Sam Johnson's sullar was. Wall, he stared at me a min- nist ,nd then sez he-" Ther'aint no sich man. He's ded. But there's sih afellerj as Cesar Widgeon, and he keeps his clama soup sullar inCat alley." t'te erryiplaice," sez i, "and if you show me where i i lgiv yer a glass of root beer. So he cum aloeg wt . and showed me the plaice, It was a little suanit ayoor iuder a little house in Cat alley. The eo ose above takes in white-washin', and there is family that bords with them and blacks boots. T e al tl.p1l infd of the ullar,'ad a little re ti poleandCA sou was rit on the Bat, iwas told that clam soup was nit th tideoflte sullar door, but nobody could see th e t assht up. Wfv nstepsand one of the steys wh slumpt thewad broke down when i+trodon it°. Then;the,,an thatkepthe place few out n clede er so many hard names for break-' BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DFIUO I GER-BLATTER- 159 I told him t was not my folt, for te, step broke down when i trod on it. He sed that everybody who uowed anything, knowed that whenever 'you cum' down sullar, you must step over that step, and tht i must be. sum green' feller from the country, or else i should have knoed all about it. Theh i axed him if he was Cesar'Widgeon; and he sed he was. So i lookt at him and eggsamined him all over. He was a short thick niggar'and:haff his hare was gray and haff was black and it curled up like wool. He had a kupple of little tables their. and'a long bench; a big su- gar-box put on two logs of wood served as his bar--so i treeted the other niggar to his root beer, and took a big chunk of gingerbred for myself. So when Cesar Widgeon seed that i had money, he was wunderful good. Then i axed him where deking Snowball lived, and he sed he ex- pected the deking Snowball and sed he was more talked about than any other minister in the hull town.. Pretty soon, i heered a kind of bustle at the- sullar dore, and i seed a little\short niggar cum down, with 3=or 4 wimjmin hollerin arter him. He was not so black as Cesa Wid- geon, but he wos about the kuller of a chesnut: He had ruffles in his boozum, and had on small close and nee buc- kles, and a long pointed cote that cum away down to his kaffs. So.i goze up to him and sez i, "Be you the decon Snow- ball that prints his leektursint paper? So he lookt at 'me and axed me if i4n-ed' that when i spoke to de clof, i ort to take off my hat. Thattuipt me: but, sez i-." don't you noeime thatrites' letters from our parts to the paper, and' hadn't e ortto een a- other. Then he axed me my name, and i telled limit h a diah~tone;and sez he, " i nebbar heeredgohyrbe re go 'way, white foke-when you cum into' esullar heab, page: 160-161[View Page 160-161] 140 0COM LECTLtRMS ETC. u mtt larato teet a gemman like a gerhman!" Then hemarhed o to tother eend of' the sullar and he tucked wit 'theunimmin. T;as so mad at this that i won't speak to a niggar ai as long as.i ive, and if yer want me to keep on ri- tin' former paper, i=shall charge a ninepence more for be- ing bhged to put mny ritins along side of a niggar's. Yourn, . OmDIAH STONE. LAGEBBLATTER'S LECTTJE. Mine Gool Peoples: Your minister shall gave you dish text, sure enough: Thrice is heearmed who bath hig quarrel just; And he iut naked, though looked up in steel, Whose conscience with injustice is corrupted." Te text tell you he shall be thrice armed. He shall be arned tree'iries le shall had tree muskets instead of oe th e eai-dge box, treebayonet, and tree rations of pou i.t at shall pe likee soldiers 'in mine country. T y shall had so much arms and so much breeches tat tey shal not walkmore tan haff a mile in von day, Ven tey shall marah to':meet toenemy, den to enemy shall not knw if toy hall go backwards or forwards. But ven toy shall beat von retreat, den tey shall show you how to run, sure ogh Tendey hall troraway to arms and pull oft'-flve pair offpre*oUes and run faster tan to Yankee soldier sbaW i cfive da-s. ey tell ouhe ish;naked ven locked up in steel. Ven you stealyowishalipe locked up, sure enough; and vonir shall have-no clothesand shall pe haf naked, you shall steal. Tat shall pe te meaning of to text. Sellyou h onscience shall pe cori ted. Dat shall e ikeMynheer V uhnnkstat who shall : gsotay me for t F im cow shall=steal from',me last ivintr I think BY D A0ON SNOWB4LL ANDIWDCDRIC LAGEBLATTEB. }g his conscience shall pe corrupted, sure enough. Vat shall he have his conscience made of ? It shall pe von .con- science made of 4;maged leather, burnt. It shall pe vn pad conscience like von-old shoe put in te fIres. I shall not have such von conscience. I shall have von con- science like schnapps vat shall pe like von schmoke pipe Mine vrow shall have conscience like von proornetick: It shall pe little and long. Dish text tell you he shall pe armed mit his quarrel just. Ven-you shall had your quarrel just, ahl tat shall pe te quarrels, sure enough. You shall have your quar rel just when a horse shall run away mit you and kill himself, because you shall not pay for ta horse vich shall pe killed of his own accord. Tehorse shall payfor him- self ven you shall take ofekin and te shoes. If you shall quarrel mit te. owner of tathorse, he shall not have his pay because hto boss shall pe skied and you shall have no quarrel Just. ;.Tat ish do same von to tuivyl shall come for your soul. He shall have his quarrel just, pe- cause you shall have von big sinner, sure enough; be- cause you shall been sting to put money into to plate and shall pay for your schnapps and not treat your min- ister ven he shall pe dry like von corn cob. I shall have'mine quarrelju en I shall fite mit mine vrow, von she shall take up more ta; haf- to bed and shall stick her knees into de bowels of our rminater, pe- cause it shall not be just tat she shall get -ore tan haff to bed. Teirfore 'your minister "sh have his quarrel'just mi his vrow. She shall take to proometick, and'I±shall tak& te schmoke-pige and shalarea h ad D1ACON SNOWBA S LRCTK l,= 1-_ _ # ed Bruddree " Your 'speoted ireacher will :spoa- tulaton dis jtdicious-sion upondo fllerinanage page: 162-163[View Page 162-163] 2 COM0L URES, &O"1 -"tSme say 4edebe's dead, and- buried in de harbor, SQZ6i *O 8 he rose again, and 'prenticed to a barber. ' De language ob de text is berry 'splicit. It tell you dat so say de debble is dead. Dead is divided into two prts. f st part is when you are dead for sartin and ed:.todder part is wen you make blieve dat you are dead, keep one eye open all de time. Your 'spected preacher hab seen a spider dat would curl up in a heap an d ake bieve dead when you held a candle to,his nose, fofgfat you kill him true enough. Bed bug will do d same ting . Praps de debble do dis way sometimes as he is de fadder of lies; and praps dat de text,'lude to dat fat, inform hissef, into a, angel ob light, and make believe dathe was dead. If he portend to be dead in de presee of your'spected preacher he would tread on de nd obhis til, andif dat didn't starthim, he would tick darning.needle into him. Guess he jump and squeal dent Butyour eeted preacher hab 'ticelar reason to blieve da debbl is not dead yet. In de fust place, dar is IaelJonbo dat'greed to mend jour'spected preacher's breeches yesterday afternoon, and she no d 'em. Your 'spectedpneacher paid her de ,money in advance, de sum ob four pence happenny which she 'pend for obster in de suiar, and your'spected preacher was 'bliged to lay abed tue da befoehe could get his breeches mended, and de tanks ob di congregation is giben to Mary Jonsing for m din-your spaetedpreacher's breeches. Annudder r.}n 's pelted preacherdon't blieve de debble is deadsis ibease when your,,spected preacher was 'tan-" din' in' 't e tfodder day, dar was a wite feller dat come.aong and ketched holdhob your 'spected preachers heel:and'squealed like a dog which made your preacher ump about tree foot in de air. Your 'spected preacher Ji d nd and cussed hin in hope dat two shebears wudcome out de Bost Office and eat up -forty five obh BY DEACON SNOWBALL A1tD IEDERICH LAGER-BLATTER. 13. dei white chaps. But de bears didn't come. Darfore your 'spected preacher 'spose dem to dis congregation ob color. -Darfore dese am reasons enough to' show dat de debble isn't dead, as dem dat 'suit your 'spected preacher am tosicated by de debble.- De same was de case when Rachel Jumbo 'fuse to mend your 'spected preacher's breeches. D second part ob de text tell you dat de debble is buried in de harbor. Praps he might hab been shut up dar lass winter till dey cut a'big hole in de ice and den he creep out again. Todder diwision tell you dat he 'hab come to life and turned into a barber. If dat be de case, I 'wise you to be, berry keerful who shave you, bekase he may put brimstone in de lather. If you should happen to get shaved by de debble in de shape ob a barber, you will get someting wuss dan de Jackson scratches. Praps he put lime on your head and make you blieve it is powder, and take off all de wool, as a- gemman of color dat your preacher was acquainted wid once did.. He shave you wid a dull razor and scrape all de brack skin oft youth face and make you look like white fokes. Now I'm gwoine to 'prove upon de 'hole. When de debble is dead, hewill hab a berry long funeral, bekase dar is many dat will 'grieve for dar ole massa. He is a 'ticklar-friend ob de lawyers and help dem along more dan dar big books. Your 'spectedpreacher use to.kin- die de fire and sweep out de foms for him It wasafore your 'spected preacher. got tobeb one ob d lcol ando he make fire for dat, white lawyer. Ebery mee Make fire dar de room smell 'trong ob brimstone, and oetimes de grate burn blue, and your'petd dreaer pti prafdr-book in a cheer and set on it tokyepofd de who was gwoine about like a siysrpAnt an like a lion to 'quire who wanted to be devoured. Darfore ,' page: 164-165[View Page 164-165] 164 COMIO LECTURES, &C., you better mingyour eye, all you young niggar women der in de'gallary, for fear de debble will cotch you by de heel! Now den, fork ober tin mitey sudden!- YANKEELETTER. RespecfuZ Sir: their is a coartship that has ben up heer witch the peeple down to bostown ort to heer about as i sposerthat sunof them will cum up heer to see about it, bekabe.it is so astonishing' to the human mind. Itwere .the skulemistress, and her name is Abigal Primp, Shetuk and sot up the skule heer and'fell rite a foul of teechin' the skollards. Sum larnt there a-b abs, sumiarnt there catty-kise, and other sum larnt to' spell wurds.Ev'eryboddy sed that she were fust rate at it;' ands soon as the feelers heered how she were good at teething the yung idees how to shute, they begun to hay a sort of noshun arter her. 'Peter Hanks went up fnst to the house and axed if Abdo agal was in. Her muther lookt very hard at Peter, for she had aidee that he was carter her darter, and she' noed that al that family was kinder-low and ignarrant, and she toed that Abagal was good enuff for sumthing better nor setch like he was. Fust she was goin' to tell him Ab- agal wa gone out but she thort she wood like to see how hwood akt,-and so she let him cum in. So he went into theme whare Abby wos, and he tuk off his hat and sot -ith it onhis nees, and lookt rite at her. She was darn- in' her stocking's, and she diddent hardly look up at him: but atla t sez he-" Miss Primp, mebby you doant want tcoart nor nothin'; Do you?" Then she seeks up as if she was verry much surprised and sai , aw! what are yon talking' on?" jest as nat'ral aood 'be. Ien he got kinder scared, and the old woman lookt at /.r r.r . BY DEACON SNOWBALL ANI)DIEDRICE LAGER-BLATTEB.' 18 him so sharp tue that he soon ketched np his hat and he cleered not as if he had ben scent for. Peter never went there agin, aud evveryboddy is laffin' at him about it.- Sense then he tryed to git Sukey Frollicks; but she toled him to go about his bizziness, for he was tue lazy to eat. i doant noe what Peter will do; for i spouse he ort to git a wife of sum sort to be sure. Tue or three dais arter Peter was gone, their, was an- uther feller thar tuk a noshin arter Abagal, and he thort himself big things as he'd got straps on his panterloons. So he seed her in chnrch, and when church was out he run rite out to her and begin to tell-her it wos a fine day; but she telled him that she noed all tbat be4, and that he nee- dent tell her nothin' about the day. But he spunked up, and sais he, "I'm akquainted with your brother, Miss Ab- agal." Then she lookt rite at him and sais, " Mebby, then, it wos you that stoled his jack-knife tother day." When he heered that he was dredful- surprised, and. he lookt down'at his pantaloons straps and thort she hadn't scene 'em yit. So he tuk panes to stick out his fut in site, so that she mite see 'em plane. She hooked and spit, and she spit rite on his shew, and that maid him so -mad that he up with his fist and knocked her bunnit off, and that was the last of his coarting'. Then the fellers all gut kinder steered about Abagal, and thort it wos of no use to get a courting of her. And besides she is a dredful big, strong gal, and they wos a leetle feared that she wood giv' them a licking. The skollards tue sed that she. shode a grate deel of grit in the skule, and hit won little chap til his headstruck a big gal in the bowels and hafl choked bg. But their was won feller that had jest ,um into the'vil- lidge, and was studying law-of the sqiire; and he was in tarminied tofind out about this 'gal, and to no 'what she I' s n page: 166-167[View Page 166-167] 168 COMIC LECTURES, ETC. s maid on. So he goze and dressis in his best close, and uock Oat the dore of the house. Abagal had seed be was coming, and she was orfully tickled becus she noed he'dgot plenty of munny and alwas wore good close. She wentup to the dore and she scent her mother to open it. The fust thing he axed for was Abagal, and her mother was dredful perlite to him and tuk him into the rum ware she was. So they ,wos both together, and the old woman run out and telled the fokes:in the house that now her dar- ter had.gut a bo hoo wood marry her rite off, and that she wood be a grate lady and liv' in her coach and all them fine things. As for Abagal, she lookt down and was dredful modest; but he spoke up; for he had lamed to use his toung in the lawyers ofliss. He yelled her she was pretty as hony and sweet as a bee, and that he wundered sitch an angle was allowed to live in this world at all. So she'thort. he was the dredful finest feller that evver wos; and she ,telled her muther evvery word that he sed when he was" gone. So they was all dredful 'stuck up ,and the hull family maid there brags that Mister Snaps was goin' to hav' Abagal., He tuck her out to wock with him every Sunday, and they went into the woods together and soddoun there and locked, and was as thick as tue pickpockets; and, Abby was so stuck up that she wouldn't speek to any of the other gals, and wood hardly speek to the skollards them- selves. When her muther spoke to her, she ansured the old woman as short as if she werea nigger; and as for her farther, she woodn't seek to him at all. They went on that weigh for as mutch -as sicks munce, and at last they wos published trew enuff and then Abby was so stuck .up that you would have thought her a little quean of Amerrikky The day arter they wos published, they sed'that he'd gone to town; but he didn't cum back, and BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTEL 167 at last Abby gut a leter sayin' that he woodn't cumback at nil. Sunesever Abby red that leter she turned\ as red in the face as .sevven rooster's combs. Abby's muther got-as mad as fire with Abby for tpllin' 'em they wood all be grate fokes, and sitch a fuss as there was noboddy nevver seed before. Abby went and locked herself into her chamber rite off, and their she stade till her muther busted open the door, andmaid her cum down and go off to her skool. All the fellers was dredful glad, and so was the gals, bekase she had been so stuck up. That serves the critter jest rite for being so stuck- up. Yourn to sarve, BETrY DoNE. LAGER-BLATTER'S LECTURE. Mine Goot Peoples: On dish big subject what shall be talked apout to-day,.you shall hear vot I ish told you apout it. It shall been give te text in dese few words:- "But time has passed, those days are gone-. Ay, Mere, long years have fled! An~d lying o'erthe little brook '_ A withered trunk and dead." Te text shall tcld you tat time ish past and long years have gone avay, sure enough. If te long yea's been gone avay ten times shall pe passed. Fourth of July shall be gone avay; but he shall not pe passed pecause he shall come back every year. Tey shall call it von Fourth of July ven it shall come back. Te text shall tell you tat long years have fled. _ler- haps tey shall pe fled to Texas, sure enough. Every one tat ish fled shall pe gone to ,'exas vere tey shall fight te Mexicos. Arter tat tey shall pe fled somevere else, and dat ish all tat vas done, sure enough. Ten long years shall pe fled yen tey shall have long legs; so tey can pe fled very fast, yen tey shall have te page: 168-169[View Page 168-169] P~ '. COMbIC LETUR,&, 1ng legg. I shall have years tat vas fled'too like-vat never salLpe Yen shall pe a young man, tenI shall have years =rich shall pe fled ,ow and ish gone all avay, sureenogeh. n tee days, I shall pe one great man among:te girls and shall have plenty of sweetheart. I hall pesoha ndsome and fat as never shall be, in tem days.r I shall pe so fat tat all de ladies shall fall in love mit him, and come to court him, and ax him tat he shall, marryten. But he shall vant to marry none but tem vat shall had to monish and von goot house to put him in. Tat shall pe de only vay vat he. shall get married. At last he shall find his goot vrow who shall vant him very pad because he shall wore ten pair of preeches in tem days. Te text ish said he shall lie over te little brook all with- ered and dead.' Very well. To prooks ish von vater vat pslpelong to to cold vater society, and he shall lie over little prook all, withered and. dead ven he shall get drunk and lie teir sure enough. Ven Mynheer Stratton shall see him lay teir, he shall come and pick him up to carry him off add ten he shall pe put in te house of cor- rection, sure' enough. Tat shall teach him to lie upon te brooks and get drunk like von hog in to street. He shall lay down dead drunk just like von beast. Very yell, tat shall e him vat shall lay over to brooks like von tree. Long ears shallrun away, and a man shall got drunk and}lie-overte pi-ooks, and tat'shall pe te whole matter. Mynheer Von Staught, Mynleer Von Stacle, and Mynheer hVGrunt l l1 some to wine house last week to eat dinnerecani e tervrow shall not cook:ter no dinner a hmse. I"shalol nine vrbw ven shes hall cooked no dinners4a4shallnot go to eat up te sour krout of nobo, dy else. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERIOR LAGER-BLATTER. 169 YANKEE LET*. Mr. Editvr.: i spose yu've heered of the wunderful rane stawms wea've had up hear: we had so mutch rane that sum ov the Millurs' men sed tha actually bleaved there wurld wos a goin' for to bee swallurpd up by the phlud. Soe tha wos rejoisin bekos tha wood hay there oane way arter oll, and bekos awl the blasfeemers and the scornors wood awl be housed cumpleatleigh. Simun Juniper, hoo is the biggest Millurite hear, sot to wirk and cut down a hull passle of tree and wos goin to wirk faugh to build a ark, and he went up 2 0 Mistre Jac- queth the karpintur to git him tue higher 001 men to bild the arck. Mistre Jackqueth telled him he wood as live wurk for him as 4 ennauther man, one he shud lyke faw ter noe hoo was gowing to paigh him. Then Simun Ju- niper tolled him it wos noe matter abowt that, as their wood be nough paigh in the kase ; bcut the phlud woo4 distroya 'em awl be4 thair pa wos needed. Jacqueth se( he wood ruther not injaige to dew the gob; bkuz iph the phlud shdoddent happn to droun him, he wood want their munneigh, andsas know munneigh wood cum, he woodn't git his pa for his wirk, and soe the coodn't triade. Then Simun phlue owt in a dredphul pashion and telled Jac- queth he was an onskrupolus sinnor, becoz he 'wooddent aggreigh to doo the Lord'z wirk, und haou whep the Aud cum he wood be the verra fust man that woz drounded in the phlud. As fer the gals up this weigh, they R farela raivin arter husbans. Sum on 'em runs agin a phellur wen u cum out oph church, so as ter git u tu pphur to ger hum with 'em. .Sally Widge is the most furse ov awl fur gittin marrid abowt thease times; and she trize to get evvera phellur that she seez. Pshea cum down to ougher house to se sister Cordiality the uther nite, and she braught Purseveraie Wunder with her; and tha both sot and sot till bed-time, and tha page: 170-171[View Page 170-171] }.? 0 T0fr I $OTV S, &O., +t taegspectedne o a t tpwith wun on 'em: or mebbe tha thawt i wood opfar ter go bum with um; but 1 sid oph to bedputtycwic, afd sister Cprdiality kum up into mi mrne tue sea iph i wo going hum with them gals. -e telled her ie wooddentd43o noe switchh a thing, and then tha wo dredful mad;n4,ii heered'urn jaughin down stares a grate wile ahowt me, bciz i woodent go hum with um. Iph thiae'd?-stade at hum ta woodent hav wantid nobud- da to go hom with urn uv gorse. Sister Cordiality had to ger hum with um-herselph; and eye gess tat diddent git khur tue set up with um. muth- er sais that pahe glories in my spuno, fur pshe doant want meigh tu git marrid to them; but egspects meigh for to hay sum Bosting lady, as 4ha will be er coughn- ing up heir B4 long, hull lots of um to C the butees oph nater. i-spose u've ol heerd of ,Susan. Peters. She's been courted by Silvenus Wares. Nobody thort that she wood evver git a 1h, bekase she wos so pesky cross; but Silve- nus had the nack to, maik sumthing out of the critter. When he frst went their to the. house, she woodn't hav nottin' to. say to him. She run and hid herself under the bed. Her either wanted her to hay' sumboddy bekase she etes so much that it costs a grate. deel to keep her. So~*er mher runi and cotch holt of w leig and, holled her out from. under the bed. When Silvanus seed her niuther .snaking her into the rume, he run and goddown on his niece andlade his hand on his heart and telled her that heloved her as he did his tue ize. ut her muther had her ,by her tue arms holding her fast and so se kicked out at Silvanus with her feet to drive hin %off At last they sot her in the arm cheer, .and h muthr tied her in the cheer so that she couldn't git ayaay and so as to. make her court Silvenus, Then Silve- uius s6t tpdlWse to her and telled her how she took his i BY DEACVN SNOWBALL , W;I4AGERBLATTER. 7 most dredful, and that he - et makeher his living wife. Then she spit at him, and :e dodged it and axed her if she want ashamed ef herself, ana.then: she busted into tiers and'they had a most dredfulftime of it. When she got to cryin he seedthere was sum heaps, and so he kep on and tocked to her and axed her how she could ev- ver expect to git marrid if she akted so mutch like a heethen. At last she begun to cum rounda leetle and her muther held her hands wile Silvenus kissed her, and he sed that she was quite sweet, and then she lolled out her tung at him. That maid Silvenus mad, and he telled her that he wos a good mind to slap her mouth. Arter a while she cum round and'sot in Silvenus's lap; so that fokes think they will be a match. As for me, i've gut a gal that lives up in Pinktownr-- I've gut that gal bekase she's a peeler. She's as big around as an mare and has got a foot that wood nook a boss down. Sitch a wife as that is worth having be- kase their is a plenty of the critter, and she can be of grate yuse to won. She can kill a -sheep, and. skin him as well as any other man in these parts; and as for rass- ling, she throwed down a big niggar the other day jest as easy as nothin at all. All the other 41ers is arter that galp, and hr nan -is Exalted Swamp. - Bill Russells, has been arter her and tryin' for to git eer' ll the time, but she won't hav' nottin' ut all to say to him bekase he's gut small hands. Then their wos a hull lot that went up to see her ou Thanks- giving and she sent 'em all off as fast as they could.goe bekase she had true luv in her hart for me; and all the gals is after me evver sense i got on my salt and pepper cote. Susannah Bush sed that she neuver heerqd ofastch a fine feller in all her~ hull life, and das cumming up: to our house to git akkuainted with sister Cordiality all on page: 172-173[View Page 172-173] COMIC LECTURES, ETC. my akkount, buti shaut hav'nottih'-to do with the gals only jest as fur as to treet 'em with servility wich we otto street evvery boddy.. JosHUA V. BmM. LAGERBLATTER' LECTURE. Mine Goot Peoples: I shall give you for te text in dese vords, sure enough:- "The woods re-echoedas they sang:- About the old ourang outang." Dish shall pe von text-.apout te ourang outang, vich shall pe von big nagur tat shall live in te voods mit hair all over his plack body. Dish shall pe te foolishest nagur of te whole of to'nagurs; for he shall not know how to spheak at all, and he shall pe te stupidest of all to otter nagurs put togedder. I shall see von of tern nagurs, and he shall pe in.,te museums, sure enough. -'Yen 1-shall say how do you do to tat. nagur, he shall not answer me nor take off his cap. Who shall. pring up tat nagur. I shall never see such nagur. Yen I shall puy von nagurs to do mine vork, I shall not give three dollars for tat nagurs, pecause he shall penagur as shall be got for notting% but otter fokes shall pay more for tat nagur mit hairs tan I shall pay for te nagirs mitout te- hairs. Te nagwrs mitout de hairs shall be almost like von man ven tey shall spheak to you aid shall take off to hat as polite as von ghentlemans Sometimes; but to nagurs mit te hairs shall peen brought. up in to voods and shall never learn vat shall pe to good manners. It shall pe pecause tey shall never go to church ugre you shall learn vat shall pe te goot manners and shall never put von cent into te plate. Ven I shall put mine hand toshake hands mit tat nagur of te woods, he shall open his mouth to bite me, sure enough. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTER.v Vat shall be te nagur vat shall bite von minister ? I shall like to see such a von in mine country, sure enough. If he shall pe in te museum ven he shall pite von mini'. ter, ten he shall be hanged, and te museum shall pe hang- ed too. Tat shall serve him right for pite von minister, sure enough. Some otter nagur shall have wool on te head like von sheeps, and von long head and long heels. It shall pe von foot on both sides of te leg, so tat ven tey shall go to fite tey shall run backwards yen toy iake von retreat. Tey shall not hay te. trouble to turn 'round at all, sure enough. Ven your minister shall run away from te patties, he shall have to trouble, to turn 'round, and shall ' lose -much time in tat vay, and shall make te time so 19ng tat vou soldier, shall stick von baggonet through his ten pairs of preaches. Tat nagur of te voods shall sot himself for von show and tey shall give more.to see tat lack nagur mit hair all over his pody tan to see your minister mit ten pair of preeches and hear te preach all togedder. You shall put in more monish to see tat nagur tan you shall put, into to plate to hear te preach. "I vish shall pe von nagur in to voods, yourself. DEACON SNOWBALL's LECTURE. Belubbed Bruddren: Your 'spected preacher hab prov.L ded de follerin' text for dis oilfactory'casion, dat will de- rogotate for your edication in de clamorous words ob do architect and 'possle Dan'el Webster; "fHear ye! bear ye! whereas certain persons D havee stolen a pig!" Pos tetbgiswd owrdharhbeaesu- o page: 174-175[View Page 174-175] VT' COMIC LECTUS, &A., are so deaf dat def car't hear; and it i a true word dat "nobody is so deaf as dem dat can't hear" ,De word is 'peated twice in de beginnin' ob de text, bekase somebody hab not heered dem de fast time, and if dey don't hear demr de second time, dey may go widout. De text 'lude to de fack dat somebody hab stole a pig-.tink oh dat- sumbody hab took away oneob de swine genious widout axing leab ob de owner heseff. Darfore a pig hab beli 'tole 'cording to de text; dis is a solemn warning' to dis congregation ob color to be keerful how dey 'teal pigs, as de law is berry 'ticklar on dis subjeck. De uses ob'do pig is various and ob various kinds. You make passage ob pig-you make head cheese ob pig, and you eat pickled pigs' feet. If you cum honestly by a ig, den you 'joy a pig; but if you hook him, you tinkde passage is made ob dog, and dat de head cheese is made ob Morphy chess-boards. Darfore all flesh is grass, and pig is grass too, only de fat which is on pig, and dat is taller. Your spected preacher 'joy roast pig berry well, 'kase he pay foghim, and use de.money dat is.in de hat. Suck. ing pigs' feet edify hin and do good to de inner man; dar- fore your 'spected preacher 'mine de pig. Your 'spected preacher must now put de question wed.- derny ob dis congregation ob color eber stole a pig? dar is a gemman ob color libbing in Charlestown dat hab lost a pig, and he tnk it hab ben tolde. He 'quest your 'spected preacher to 'quire ob dis conjugation ob color if any ob dem hab took de ting away. Any one dat hab 'tole dat pig, will please to hold up dar right hand. Nobody hold up de hand; dat show dar bringin' up. If you hab '4ole de pig, I 'quest you to say do truff. What! do you tink dat nobody 'teal de pig? do you tiuk he went s way widout handss. T 1 BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDI1rCHILAGER-BLATTER. I15 NOW I tell you bot dat ting dar is a 'pinion on dis subjeck, 'spresseby de brudder dat lost de pig.f He tink dat Mary Jonsing and Jir Phillips hab took dat pig. You needn't turn upde white oh your eve and pout it yovr 'spected preacher. You a 'spected to hab took de pig, and I ax you to prove yourseff innocent 'fore I blieve yer. In de fust place, when the bereaved brudder hut up his pen he counted de pigs, and dar was seben in de pen. In dar was one little 'ingtail pig dat. he notiss in a 'ticklar manner. Dat pig had been compainin' ob want ob appe- tite for two or tree week and wood at noasini but cab- bage stalks: darfore de colored gemran dat owned hiri took 'ticklar notiss ob dot pig. Next morni' he was gone out ob de pen. He racolleck dat he see Mary Jonsing an' Jim Philips go up de street toward de monunment late ing de evening. Dey was talkin' and laffin' loud onbecuming for two members ob dis church. A wite fellur dat lib by de place, heah a pig 'queal about twelve o'clock in de night. He look out de winder and see sumbody gwoine off wid .a bag on dar shoulder. Tony Jumbo neet de same person; it was so dark he coodn't see the bag, and he coodn't tell wedder it waS a tian or one of the fair see' only he was sure It looked berry much like Mary Jonsing. Dc white fellers tort dat it looked like Jim Philips.- Now dem two ob color is called upon to prove dar innocence rite off. Cesar is 'quested'to stop dem two deliaquents if dey go to de sullar wid pigs head or anything of that sort to sell. It is posed dey will set up de sassage bizness widide pig. Everybody is. 'quested to 'quire into de'ticklars and try toy convict dem if dey can. Now Pm gwoine; to 'prove upon de 'hole. De 'criptur tell you not to 'teal. What you tink will cumn ob you= if you steal; dat is de question for you to tink about; and now I am gwoine to Freshi Pond on de Fourf of July. page: 176-177[View Page 176-177] 176 COMIC LECTURES, &C., We shall hab a piek nack in dat placeunder de trees: an invitaion hasbo sent to Massa Greelyto cum and take a bowl ob clam soup wid us. Ebe-y one will carry dar dinner and bottle ob root-beer in his pocket. Cesar will now pass 'round de hat. YANKEE LETTER. Mr. Editor: We had a grate prodigious experience up hear inthe most wonderful hings and we believe that our villidge will take the leed herearter in everything, for this is 'mazing to every boddy in these parts. It was a man that cum hear for to lectur. He is the greatest jintleman in the hull world. You ought to a scene the lose he had on. Mister Flink who is a clark, in the store, sed he wood hay' a cote maid rite off arter his pattern. The minister axed him to his house to din- ner, and all the gals was fritened to death. He gin out that he was goin' for to lectur on animal magnetics. No. boddy.,noed what that was; but we all noed it must be samTiin' dredful, bekase it had such a wunderful curious name. SObe went all 'round to the housens, with the minister and the kool master and he was introduced ev- verry ware by them, and he axed 'em all to cum to his lectur. So evvery body was afeared to speak to him, and the men sed they'd.cum to the lectur in-coarse, and the gas curehed and:sed, 'yes sir." Then he went and highered the town hall for to deliver the letur, and when the.times cum, evvery body sot out to gotheWi. Our gals was in a dredful teaze. There was Sophia, 'she didn't noe which gowud she aught to ware, and as, for Consideration, she thawt she must borrow a newsilk of the ministers darter, but that gal had only onenewseilk, and ghe wanted that to ware herself. So isteConsideration was obleeged to ware the best calico she had gut. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGERBLATTER. All the fokes byumby crowded into the plaise,'and then the man that lectured-got up to the desk and he begin to tock and .he red it all off a peace of paper. They all sed it wos iligant, and we couldn't understand a word of it, bekase it was so high-larn't, but the minister explained it all to us arterward. He sed that the lectur was all about the way to put fokes in sleep. He sed it was very hulsome bekase sum- tirnes you couldn't git to sleep, and another sed she gess- ed the minister was sumthin' of a magnettic's himself, for when he preeched- his sarmont, she always felt pesky sleepy. Arter this big jintleman was dun lecturin', he axed a little boy that was with him.to set in a cheer, and then he set down. before the boy, and he maid up the most dredful faces, like a mad bull when he is goin to put his horns ito you. He went on that way till he skeered the" boy to sleep. And-the boy sot stock still like a post, and then he trod on the boy's- foot and he didn't start a bit, and then he held out the boy's arm and you couldn't bend it. - Then Aunt Patience jumpt up and sid it r witch- craft, and she wouldn't have any sich things dun, if there wos any law in the villidge. Then the lecturer preeched a bull passle of high-larnt' to Aunt Patience, and sed he wos surprised that so beautiful a woman as Aunt Pa- tience should git into sigh a passion, and he splained it all to her, and that Aunt Patienee was as good naturgd as a soaped eel bekase she likes to be praised for her beauty and to be called a fare seck, tho' none of us ever corted her yit nor telled her about her handsumness. Arter thathe wanted to put a gal to sleep, and he cum along to sisterfConsideration bekase she lookt at himso sharp, and he axed her to cum up Aand beept1to. sleep, and she squeeled and run off and hid behind mother. He page: 178-179[View Page 178-179] 118 COMIC LECTtRES, ETC.. chased her a good while, but couldn't ketch her. Then he went arter Charity Whipple and she didn't run so fast as siser Consideration. So. he cotch her, and carried her op to'l the desk. So he sot 'down and lookt at her and maid -up all sorts-of faces, and she couldn't go to sleep for lafing. She stuck her finger in her mouth and turned her head to look at her ho and then she snorted out a laf- fing, and then her bo he busted rite out tue. Arter a=wile, every body got tired, when they purseev- ed that she wouldn't go to sleep, and so they begin to bundle out andgo home, and i tuck Sally Hatinel up be- hind me op the boss and away we rid hum to her house, and when we went in, i begun to try to put her to sleep. So i sot and lookt at-her in the eyes and she lookt at me til she seds she felt wonderful" curious, and begun to hug me and kiss me. 0 lordy! how skeered i wos then! i hopt up and run, and got my hat and cleered for hum as hard as i could go, and that's the last' time i ever tryed to maggittize -the gals, :for' feer i should be hab up for wichdraft, seeii' thot it maid 'em so dredful strange. Yourn to sarve, EZEKIEL DANIELS. DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURE. Bel b bed Bruddren: On dis 'ticklar 'casion, your 'spected preacher will erudite upon de follerin' 'portant conjunct inn ob de 'possle Saltpetre: ",Bubble, Bubble-!. ' . , a.Toil and trouble." Here is four diwisions; de 'wision ob bubble is divided' into two ob dem; and de todder is diwided into t'oil and . trouble, which hab nefarious divisions and sub-diwisions ,and propogations. t BYD EACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTER. 179 Fust is bubble., A bubble is made of water and some- times he am made ob sorneting else.' A bubble 'tand on top of de water like a-little house wid a round top. Now dar is two bubbles in de text; de fast bubble is bubble, and de todder is bubble too-and so dat makes two bub- bles. Dese two am toil and trouble, and dat 'lude to making 'lasses candy. Rachel Mones is 'ployed in de business, and she find it all toil and trouble. In de fast place, she hab to giv de boys 'stibks to go down to de wharf and get de Masses out ob de hoxit dar. They bring it home, and den she hab to pay dem and bile urn. She put de 'lasses into de dust=pan and set urn on de fire, den she 'bliged to stir hirt till he bile up, ' and deli he bile up agii. She den is 'bliged to keep him from filing over, and dat is bubble 'corditi' to de text. In biling dclar soup dar is also bubble, toil and trouble, fust you hav' to put on de water to bile;den you peel de 'taters and put him into slice, den you put in de clam an' bile dem all wid red pepper. All dis 'quire toil and trou- ble; and you tink dat Cesar can afford to trust you for all dem ting, and bit ob lobster' into de bargain. It is toil and trouble to make clam soup and he 'spect to get pay for him-dat is de fourf division ob de text. In de next place, your 'spected preacher hab, grate toil and trouble to 'splode de bubbles ob his text and gib you saxifaction in do 'spounding of de word. He 'specks to be paid for all dis toil and ti-ouble, and dat you put M- ey in de hat. Fiffly is de trouble ob tryii' to wsh a colored geinan white. To 'form dig operation, you' hab to 'use gate deal ob soap and scrubbin'-brush. You find it i berry hard work.. Berry few niggars hab ben washed white. Wool ein be got off by using a little powdered limea; but it is berry hard to 'traighten- it out. page: 180-181[View Page 180-181] 180 COMIC LECTURES, &C., Your ' pected preacher hab been 'quested to establishh a library belongu' to die church, for de purpose to 'prove your mind in larnin' out ob books, and hopes dat dey will prewent de niggar gals from spending' dar time runnin' 'bout de treatss. All dem p'oppyalshun ob color dat hab books wil leave' dem index sullar, to de keer ob Cesar.'- We hab got a Al- manac for de year 1840, and we hab got de history ob Blue Bad in: two wollumns, andY a Jim Crow song book. Besides dese, we hab got some old newspapers and two or tree new year address dat hab ben kindly furnished by Peter Jumbo who blacks beot in de sullar. All deseprecious wollums will be hired outto, de mem- bersob dis church, for de perusal of people ob color. A.ra e 'willtake place in dis house, on de forty-fust day of nixt July, when de follerin' tings will be. raffled for-one flannel petticat, two cards of gingerbread dat has been in de sullar ever since Cesar took possession,. 1 side of a pare;of belluses, a turcle-shell comb widout de teef which'hasa/been broke off, a pearl handled knife wid- out de handle, a beautiful story book wid all de leaves tore out, and a pai'e ob breeches widout any legs. De raffle will begin at haff past ten o'clock arter wich dey will 'journ' to de s-llartnd partake 'ob a elegant col- oration wichebery one will bring dar wittles darseff in hjs pocket and suit hisseff. On de next day, in dearternoonyour 'spected preachers nd si odder gemmen ob color willgoto do back side of rnker Hill to play at de game ob leap-frog. We expect you to put 'nuff munnty in de hat to pay de axpense of riding in de stage C*Y-your 'spected, preacher and de tod- dervgents of color. On de sebenteenth of June we shall hold a fast in dis church on 'count of the wictory ob New Orleans wich was gained by jineral Washington. On dat 'casion your 'epec. I BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTEB. j81 ted preacher will deliber a speech on de beauties ob lite- ration, and take up a collection in de hat. LAGER-LATTEBR'S LECTURE. --r Mine (Goot Peoples: I shall give you von text, vat you shall hear in dish vords :- " They tell me first and early love Outlives all after dreams ; But the memory of a Arst great grief To me more-lasting seems." Te text tell you of to first love. Ah! your minister shall know very well what tat shall pe, tat first love. He shall remember to first time tat he: shall love sure enough. It shall pe ven lady in mine own country.-in to Hollands sure enough yere he shall love. I shall see in te house of dish lady a plenty of cabbage, and cold slaw, and pot cheese, and I shall know tat she ish got -a plenty of goot clothes, and -horses and cow. Ten I shall fall in love wit dat lady, and it shall pe to fust love, because I shall love to pot cheese and to schnapps in to house of tat lady, more petter as I shall love any more schnapps and pot cheese. So you shall see. Tat shall outlive all after dreams. I shall dream apout~othng else only tat lady mit to goot. pot cheese and schnapps, sure enough. I shall remember tat fust love venever I shall see pot cheese or cold slaw or schnapps. But I shall forget to lady her self because she shallget married- to Mynheer Schraup of Amsterdam, and I shall not think of her; but to fust love shall not forget to schnapps and cab go. Te otter part of to text shall tol ou tat von. great grief you shall remember long too, just to same. Ohi tat ish to ting, sure euough. I shall have von great grief vich I shall remember a great vile t o. It shall pe ven I shall be von young man, and teir ish von otter young man ^ page: 182-183[View Page 182-183] COMIC LECTURES, &O., Who hi a plenty of schnapps in his cellar, and I shall think to get acqaiited mit tat young man sure enough. I shall wish to know him on account of to schnapps, vich is ver; goot ven you shall be asked to trink vitout pay-_ ing no monish, dize enough. ! Ta say=.sh Al try to get acquainted mit tat young man I sAliloften see him speak to von young voman, and shall think it is his own sister. So von day I shall see dish ung vman carry vontbasket on' her head, and I shall run toj it and make her very low bow, and shall ask to carry te basket, sure enough. She shall say, "0, yes-you shall catry te basket on your head too." Ten I, shall take ugto basket and put it on mine head, and ish cary te basket aloeg to street and she shall walk by mine aide At last ve shall see te young rman vat I shall think i to bother, and he shall pe te sweetheart, and not 6ether at l. He shall ax me vot I shall speak to titoung voman, and shall neck me down mit to bas- ket aid kick rv eery bad. Oh! I shall never forget tat gi-ief how I shall pe kicked by to fellow tat own all to achapys.; s, DA. CONQN ALLS LECTURE' ~ebbd4 BrudM Do text dat your 'spected preacher abios fordi'portaniasion am found in dose words o' de 'pos ible Bar ab:- -- 't;Th rye:was a- oldi man in a. velvet coat. UKis d is n'dald gav5 er'a groat;, Theg twas or' , a and would '1 go; ' wasnf' W Ssu e a rogue to serve her so?"Ole o t u n o m a Sta 8ob d same, ih i bery tklarto your eddication; it is de part ob tr'petd preacher to 'pound it for you. And it is yoiwr te o'end to what your 'spected preacher tell t you. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERIOH LAGER-BMATTER. 183 Dis text is divided into fifty-tree parts, and dem -pairts divided into sebenteen divisions, and dem diwisions is diwided into fortyfive sub-diwisions. When you get home you must 'member. de text, and 'lapse all de diwisi- ons in your mind, or you will neber sabe your sins. What youttink is de old .gan in dewelvet coat? Ha! now I got you fast! - You can't tell hin, hey?- Dat shows how you was brought up. You nebber know nossin wid- out I tell him to you. You better go out ob de church, and let somebody come in dat can undertan' de words ob your 'spected preacher. Dis ole.man in de welvet coat is dat whiteheaded nig- gar dat libs up in Cat Alley He had a gal to lib wid him, who was called Porcia Emeline Clarissa-Ann Congo. She was about my -color, only about seen shades black- er. She wasn't so dark complected as dat little hump- backed nigger dat sets on top ob de 'tove, and she would hab been a good lookin' wench only she had cross-eyes, and one leg was shorter dan de todder, and todder was longer dan de todder. She had six fingers on one hand and todder hand was de biggest. Besides, she had a wooden leg rade ob cork. Her nose had been bit off in a fite that she had wid Luker Johnson's sister, and her front tea was knckeout But she made up for dat, bekase she had two eye-teeth dat was twice as long as todder teeth and stuck out of her mouth. So dat she showed se had arudhivo'fvas odder fokes, and made up in de eye teethwhat she 'lacked in front teeth. Dat white-headed -niggar dot hired p is named Solo- mon, and he wears a wolves coat sen er.he canh get one, which is not perry ofen He eddiermadonfey - 'tandin' in de entry, and he Went utioher; an dg e; "lubly, Miss Porcia Eneline Chtrissarn, I 'reyou be-. ry miuch." Den h laid his hatid on hfisBell*h Ai ' 9 w page: 184-185[View Page 184-185] COMIC LECTURES, &..' heart;is, ob course, and he lookt at her so cinder sly dat sheflier sofbosom all in a flame ob fir . Den he beg de favorto squeese her sweet lip agaiiis own, and she was ro modest dat she lookt right down and didn't say a word . Dene ried' tokiss her de lips, and one ob dem eye- teeth stuck into his cheek, and made him jump right up in de air. Den she was so steered dat she run up to put a plaster on de place whar he 'was 'cratched; and sheknocked -her cork leg agin his shin; and den he was dredful 'larmed sure enough,:and thought dat he was dead. So he turned her out ob de house, and. when she went to himforer wages,he 'gin her a fourpence happenny; andwhen:,he went to de sullar to get bowl ob clam soup' Cesarfund dat it was a tin fourpence- Dis was berry bad for a 'spectable gal ob color like dis darkcorpleeted young. lady,. and she come and told your 'seeoted preacher.So your 'spected preacher couldn't do nosein for her; and she leff de tin fourpence wid your 'peCtedIpreacher, and be passed it off to white foes for crab, ober to Charlestown. Yo spetedhareacher had been 'quested to ax de prayrs ob dis con g4ion ob color for Nancy Philips and Tbed Ambo who hab taken darsef for better and id bd, ob widelocks, and as boff ob dem think b g sk in marryinde odder, dey 'quest de pr'yO: s o1 dis.4 ongregation,,oh color. ur sped teacher ws ''wited guess at de wed- di ud Jeha icklar observation oh de lubly briqe. S kblo ingas de blossoks in autumn when de fr_ i . pe for de ikle' {and on one 'portant 'casion, she f:int awaykwhepthecotch ight oh dat short' nigger what ns ~ tourt ede same one dat -she 'gin de 'bag tree S gbkase h' e 'fuse tobuy her kid. glove 'She BY DEACON SNOWBALLAND DIEDEICH LAGER-BLATTEL 186 faint away in de arms ob your 'spected preacher and she kicked so datgour 'spected preacher couldn't hold her up and he was 'bligd to let go, and den she cum to her8eff right off, bekaspshe didn't want to fall on de floor, Darfore dat is de 'provement on de 'hole and Cesar will pass 'round de hat., Dar will be a raffle in dis house on ,e thirty second day ob dies month, when your 'spect d preacher will er- pose of a pair ob white-top boot.. Arterdat Cesar Wid- geon will hab a raffle for a pair ob flannel drawers. YANKEE LETTER. Bespec ful Mr: their is a thiug that has. cum up heah to this villedge, and it is cawled a winnadg ory! There is thousands and thousands of venemous beastesses and tha ar awl in kages:except sum two-legged hairy. things wich are cawled munkeys. I took sister Jerusha their, and Pa- tience, and both of them was dredful tickled. The wild beastesses lookt so quere that they kepp 'em a lafn' the hull time.,~ But they lookt at the munkeyethe most, be kase they had such funny ways about thea, they had lit- tle hands, and did all sorts o' things:with there hands sl funney. They wood run 'round on 1iere hands an4feet, and jump like nothin' at all. Then they wood turn over, and lay down, andojump ver theirselves and turn 'rount and clime up a rope, and ete things dend theyheld 'e in there bands like f6kes when they ete a ae1. The bige a thing was nedL.E:. 'aut. ;e was ug- lay assign and as big as.a tree. Hlda longthinglike ,a peskygrate horn onla he coodtwist it about like a cork- scru, and the upiitended thatit ws his:: trk s I;wt- ed-fa'ther toby him to ploe&Vithbut Fhesedadt e tua mutch for him. SThere was anther cretur and it lookt like apeshi/big page: 186-187[View Page 186-187] :=16COQI1C LECTURES, &O., goose aind they called it a graft. I spouse it was bekase the cretur-had ben grafted; -for his neck didident belong tu his little short body, and i thort it had ben tuk oph of sum oiler animal and grafted on to his body. He 'pear- ed to be of no sort of use only to look over fences, tho' he Mite hav' ben sot up, on top of a meetin'-house for a steeple.. Then their Was a spotted leprosy and he was dredful furse.. i neer seed one be4, though i've red of 'em in the scripters., Their was a lyon their in a big kage with up and down sticks to it, and so this lyon lookt at me with his two ize, as if i owed him sumtnin' tho' i'd never seed the critter be°4. When 'i went 'aleng byhis cage he stuek out his por threw the sticks, and cotchedhold of my sholder and tore mly nue eote half off Patience was so mad she diddent noe what tu doo, and she as going toalick the lyon. with a stick, but he lookt' at her and ua'd a kiider noyse and she cleered out pret- ty wend wenthack to the nurikeys, for she cooddent keepher ize o#ffof them, they was so funny in all theii do- W Pat 1 ie e-aed the mnat that oaued these beastesses tu 1len ie his eogte to -ire home, bekase his lyon had tore. minerabt; hewvowed he wooddent do it, and so i was obli- gdto go humje sas i was,wich maid me veiey inad, bek we D fthBobbins, the gal that i'm payin' at- tention tue. Shooktatyt, c -te all tore to peace and she onlyha spoke toete, *Rhii took very kind. as ' hoA tre$*edhei- to as hAtch gingerbred as shecoogA et, only eaweakabe4that day. Sig bass Wilox as gut married. He.aried. 8pan Re aoe. Phrpagnou've eered on her. -She ,ws the gabthatlapt Joe Tomson in the chops at a bawl the oth- .a igasdathat maid Sighias fall in Inw with her, on ak- kount of her spunk BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIED1OH LAGER-BLATTFA.8.j1T All the gals send there luv to you and boap to see you up heer when peaches are reype. You, nay hay all yew can ete,"if As a bushel. Muthdr wishes you'll put the price of stockins in your paper, as she wants to by 4pare for Jeemes, and meens to send to Bostown arter 'e4l, wen farther was in town last spring, he got a bad fopnee of a man dow by the Funny Hall, where they hay a mark- it. He wants you shood go down and git a good one and send it up to him. All the gals up hear is ravin' arter youre paper and tha want to noe if you won't sendzit up to thein, as tha pose you want t6 distribbet it round like; for that is the way they duz tracks, and they sai that when you git the tipes sot, it don't cost nothin' to print the paper. G. S. ENN BEE. Does you noe a ,man in a gray cotethat liev in Bostown i Wish you wood tell him that farther wood liee to see him about that dung-hill fowl he wanted to cell him, praps farther will by it, if he will o0m up hear and. trade. Postcript. If there's any gals in Bostown that - wood like to git married, you may tell 'em that their's a plenty of fellers hear that wood like to be married too, and if they'll rite to us we'll send the boys down' to 'em. Yours to sate, G1 EoN SnooKs 4 LAGSIRBL 'TBIV80LECTUI mine Goot Peoples: Your minister shall take dish text "ir earth we now a-nJ nt to ± th Soodsof likeness o' ed With vIenes ong, nielt One wide exinded eld blood." Dis text shall tell you apout te vickedness all ovr te 1+ page: 188-189[View Page 188-189] 1 188 COMIC LECTURES, C., world. Tat shall show you tat you shall vant plenty of preacato put I4ya te vickedness. Tetext shal1 told you tat he lament to see te earth; if he -g von"of both his eyes, he shall not see it, sure enoug" Heshall not lik to see te earth ven it shall be overspread. In defirst place, it shall be overspread mit wickedness. Tat shall pe te preaking te sabbath ven you shall not come to church6to put your monish into te plate. It shall ye von very big wickedness tat shall overspread te whole land. JI shall pe von piece of bread yen you ish spread te butter .all ver te bread. Dish wickedness ish spread over tewhole world like to carpets on te floor. It shall be called "floods of wickedness.". Te wickedness shall pe flods; tat ish like te time tey shall build up te ark and putin te floods ven it. shall rain like not never shall pe. Te text shall ax you cruelty, violence, and wrong. It shall bevery bad to have wrong too, ven you had cruel- ty and violefice pefore. Vat shall pe te cruelty? It ish been crueltyyea you shall get te milk tat you vas bought and shall find it half vater, sure enough. Tat shall pe von of te cruelties. It shall pe cruelties ven your, schnapps shall pe bad gin mit water in it, and ven you shalibrgke your schmoke pipe. Tediolence is very pad too. It shall be violence ven ye o al have a vrow tai shall take up te proomsticks. Tat ish violen in te house, Violence outside of te house shall p4-,te dogsa shall chas you in testhet and shall catec yoir-wit te teeth in telegs and tear three pair'of trowsers. Butt text shall told you tat teir shall Kpe wrong be- Vathallpe te wrong? It-shall pe wrong ven your' clock ish run down and give te Wrong time. It shall pe ven teyghall charge too much against von mit piece of chalk BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTER. 180 in te tavern. It shall pe all wrong, sip enough. Teir is much of tat wrong, and violence, anfl cruelty and te world shape covered all over mid flood, and shall pe "von vide extended field ob' blood." Tat shalh-pe te slaughter-house vere ish all Qer blood. Ven y walk in to street be careful you shall not slip down pecause it shall pe blood all over te world. DEACON SNOWBALL'S LECTURE. Belubbed Bruddren: On dis 'ticklar and 'portant occa- sion, your spected preacher will abrogate and delectate on de follerin' text ob 'cripter, from do 'possle Dinah ob de Feezhans: "Strange that such a dItrerence there should be 'Twixt tweedle dura and tweedle. dee 1' Dis is diwided into fifty parts'; arter dat it is divided into two parts; de fifty two parts is too tedious to nien- tion. Now, we willItakehold o.de two parts-dey are tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee. De fust part ob de one is like de todder, and de fast part ob de todder is -like de todder. Boff am tweedlein de beginning, and de Just one is du& in de ending and de todder is dee in de ending' But de text tell you it is berry 'trange dat dey aint boff alike; dey might as well habbeen de same ting. It must hab ben made by white fokes and darfore def"hab urn dif- ferent. But de text is 'stonished bekase dey is boff^dffe- rent. Darfore, you must find ut what is dese words? Your 'spected preacher hp lookT in de dictionary and he can't find dem; dis is bekase dey habsperitu and must be sprainedd by.:your 'spected pro Twee- die-dum 'ply to de sullar kepp by Cesar Widgeon and tweedle-dee 'ply to de sullar dat is'kepp b Peter Widge- on. Now it is berry strangedar should be so much differ- ence teenn etwo. In de sullar ob Gesar you get clam page: 190-191[View Page 190-191] * .OOIO LECTU~WS, &O. '' soup for fop4'n~ and inthe. sullar ob Peter, yon. hab tc pay F fourpend4po, but you get no cracker in de- soup. Tree ntsia charged for root-beer in Peter's sullar and don, lW of de frog from de top; but dey charge de sam . inCesar' n dblow of de frofinto de. bar- gin gr de roenoeg 'teen de quantity when de tum- bler ishafftfull of frof- Dofroff is the third division ob de text; froff ob root- beer is speritual andlude to de speeches i 'lection time. .Speeeheis de froff, and de lecture's ob your spected prea- chez ide beer.. De fenrf dision 'ude to dat report, lass, week about your 'spected preacher and Clarissa.Sims. It was spread by Emeline¢ones, Miss Jane Porel, and Phillis Jumbo. Dey purtend dat yourp'spected preacher pay 'sclusive 'ten- tion to Clarissa which am false in de fust place; de 'ticklar particklars in dis conjunction am in de follerin' manner: day sa dat qlarissa took you, 'spected .,preacher on a '8kgsinr of pleasre, and dat dey hired a hoss and shay to g1dowA to ahant. It is also said dat your preacher pop de ggest onto, Olarissa anddat she 'fuse your 'apect ed preacher-de fax an yr dese: your 'spected preacher put his arm 'round de neck of Clarissa, and she gaped and opaedr her noaflike a duck. and lookt at your:'spected preacker.wid her eye in de most 'fectin manner. Your 'spted.preaher was feared dat she was gwoine to faint anha begun nto fa her wid his handkercher.; den she d nossaas. de ntter only she feared dat de sun ud herplexion. Datwas all dat passed on dat 'p0 n and she nebber 'fuse your'spected prea- chereae ebber ax her to hab him-dat is de truff. De}*ayers ohdis con-egation; ob color is 'quested for Elia Pinkumwhoraants band berry bad and can't getnoneS u spectere acher offer reward ob onebiedlobster and bowl oh clam soup roay gemman oh color dat will find a hu arid for Miss 'Liza. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DEDE IE LAGERLATTER Now P'i gwoine to 'prove upon de -lile, hen munque- toe bite you on de:nose, it istweedle-d m. 'en ge bite you on, d ear, it is twee4le de fDar i &obvio dife- rence. Gesar ab got a pasleb daislt in his ulla4ey is ripo and melk P as a peach. e clrge on. Ce.t a bunch to de poppyla pIh ob color: antwo centhanch to wite fokes. Niggar ga la i'quested not to tel. onio s fro d 1sullar weA dey pass ont adin Your 'spected preacher am 'quested to make de bae, wation dat sister Flunka wi#, fb her bawl on two eks is a Sunday in de afteroog at twelmv o'eck couciely. All dem dat wish to cum will leave dar name :n de ,sular wid do money for do ticketswich will be giben out at de door. Luke Johnson will not be 'mitted to de bawl 'cept he get a new coat, as his elbow ik out berry eceedin'- ly. On dis 'tishlar ' aisiere fat wil ber pad'oad by July 'ieke, in i9 4at yd zwilputia more money when a ladjob color tales 'roun d'dh t; 41 del4at puts in, Afo pence apeae, isa tatlid to tiek '1~ses cand July now will pass 'round de hat, and I hpope at di oongrega ion will gibgo f ,.ly 1 la4 y of 41olor. 1TANKBN.LTTmL 31r. Editor: They has a monstraciousd thig happent uptear, it is a old wotnantht is ae ver seed won be4,. and.never noed-what till i sead her. We was awl seti down to supe hen bg Peck cugi rite in, and he eirsgiiig to bha e do. in's in this brhd e eeeofa kd A,4 page: 192-193[View Page 192-193] 192 OMIC LECTURES, &C., Then muther sot down the t-pot, and lookt rite at her, and held up both her hands and sez she-" mercy on me! what has happened now, and what is it that is to pay, sure enuff?" Then we left off etein' to see what was the matter. Then Abagill pulled oph her bunnet and lade on the arm cheer, and she sot up close to mother and sez she--" i thort it was bad enuff when Lucy Brown got into a scrape with that Aldritch feller; but there's sumthing wuss than that now!" " Law suz-a-daisy!' sez mother-'is it possible that this miller book, has cum true, and we're all goin' to be burnt up?' "No, it's sumthin' wuss than that!"said Abagill, "it is a which!" "A what?" sez mother. "A which!" sez she. "Well, now, did you ever?" sez mother, "and a dred- ful thing is this which i'll be bound to say,"-sez mother, "what is a which like?" "Why it's that old Dinah Spooner," sez Abigail, " and a horrid thing it is.' It's a woman that has a sperritt in side of her." "A woman with a sperritt inside of her," sez mother. "0 dredful! and what does this sperritt do there? Is there no weigh to git it out?" "Yes, they say theirs a weigh," sez Abigall-" if you draw out six ounces, of her blood and hay' it all biled away in a skillet, it will kill the evil one and her too." Then Abigall went on to tell about the which, and how . their was noises maid, and how the lites burnt blew, and a gray cat was seen settin' in her winder every day at 21 o'clock. Then he telled how Mr. Richardson's chil- dren had been bewitched by her and had red pimples broke out all over there face and hands. The doctor sed BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGERBLATTER. Igg they was poisoned by goin' into the swamp, but Abagill sez she don't think it is pison at all. She thinks they are bewitched by this old missus Spooner, 'specially when the cat was see, tother day, playin' with won of Mistur Rich- ardson's children. Soon as ever- Abagill telled us this, we wos all of a trimble for fear of bein' bewitched, and sister Dorothy sed she began to feel strange, and so mother and Abagill looked over her face and neck, and true enuff, they found a pimpal jest under her ear. Then Abagill held up both hands and sed that the which aught to be shot rite off, for she didn't bleve-but what the sperrit that wos in her had ben bewitched, and then sister busted rite out a cry- ing, and mother and Abagill axed her what aled her, and she sed that tother day, when she was goin' cross lots, there was a cat that run down into the holler amungst the bushes and she seed her as plane as day. Then we wos all skeered to deth,. for sister had seed a cat and had got a pimpal under her ear, and we noed she, wos bewitched sure enuff. So farther put on his hat and cote and sot out to go rite up to the minister and ax him to cum down to the house. Mother begged him not to venture his life by goin' out of doors when there wosa which in the villidge;.but he sed it was his duty and when anything wos his duty he won't afeered of nor- thing. So he went up and brought down the minister. The minister heered what Abagill and mother sed, and then he lookt at the pimpel under sister's ear and axed her how long it had ben their, and she couldn't tell; but she told about the cat that she seen when she wos cross- ing the lot. The minister lookt very serious, and arter a wile, he sed he dien't bleeve that Missus Spooner wos a which, but he told sister it ought to be a warning to her,and teech her to consider her latter end. page: 194-195[View Page 194-195] 194 COMIC tiCTURE S, &C., Then the minister went hum agin, and Abagill, shQ sed that the doctor' and the minister had laring' and sot up upon it; but she noed that Missus Spooner wos a which, for she had bewitched Mistur Richardson's children. We all concluded to set up that nite and watch, and we called in tue neighbors to set up with us, and won on 'om was Mister Pussy, the sope biler, and he sed that their ought to be a town meeting' called to see about it, aid he sed that. he felt a kinder strange himself ever sense he had heered about the which, and he bleeved he seed a cat' a week be4. Then he telled a most beautiful story about a woman away up to the country wher he lived when he was a 'prentiss, and how she wos bewitch- ed and every time she saw a cat, she sed her prayers till it cured her. Nit day, we got a few foes to go over to Missus Spooner's with us, and we peaked'at her while she was washing' oe her apurn, and every one sed she acted pro- per strange,,and she kepp wipin her forrid with a hand- kercher, though there wasn't a drop of aw ett to be seen on it. We dasent speek to her, but we lookt at her as much as hafflan'our, and farther sezthat sumthing aught t be dun about it, and if she has got a sperrit, it ought to be perjured to cum out of her. Yours to serve. NIcuous PETERS. BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDERICH LAGER-BLATTER. 195 LAG -BLATTJR'S LEC'1TE, Mine Goot Peoples: Your minister shall, give you von text to-day, vot you shall hear rite off:- " Hark! bark! the dog bark, T'he "beggar come to town Some- in rags, somie. in tags,_ . some in olde ret gowns." Dish is von'verry Yankee text. It shall tell you tat to togs shall bark. You shall see tern bark on Sunday too, Vat for you, shall let te togs- park on, Sunday in dish place? ,Te text tell you tey shall park at te peggars, as ish come to town. Oh!- it shall pe te beggars, sure en- ugh, as shall make te-togs bark. Ven te peggars shall sed' stuboy to te togg ten tey shall park like von pig can- ion ball in te house, Dey shall make so much noise vot never shall-vash peen. LTe peggar comes to town in te rags; and' ten'dogs ish park sure enough, pecause tey shall see te rags. Tey k ° page: 196-197[View Page 196-197] r4 : , ,. , - ' - , F, T. "y ~ , . , ry' shaink torags ish lag flying en toy shall park. In nco a tey shal' put te beggars ino te prisons t agsbut in dish country, toy shall let to peg- gai's djtnrb al4te togssure enough. In mine country, ,gsalpae e soers shall come to town, and teir ala . penoAbe aeonly shut up inste prisons. Tey hll ow. vatt 0ith te beggars in mine country. ' to hallsee von beggar their he shall not park, ; t e h l1 ite te peggars9 e Yankee dog shill try to : ^ te you±gentlewans. Your minister shall be going along to st s*n vonYankeetog shall cone out and take oldof ha1Y mithis teeth;but he shell not do nothing only totear to preehevon little pits He shall stick in his.et like- on p o vere tore shall pe ten pairs of re e Histeeth shall pe as long as te long embargo, before ter.shall raeah through all to preeches, sure en- onmgh._ Y our minister shall g' up three pair of stairs, to see te mn nat shall own ty tog, and ax te dog to be killed; and ~ te1 an v %sb1 Yyourminister ifhe shall sell sausages, tat-he shall va t von _ dandot' So your mnster shall gual" M IT cr tem. pt at uch a dog :s tat an to owner -tg nmi ountr, f von man shall say such ' , ti , ";' " {miter -,gou a 8' tput ' him in t prisons, and a.(t suree ugh.Teney' shall know how to sa t miste more peters dat. All tem peo- S :_' rt.good ha1+el made goot ven'tey shall oouNh o!tat shal!!pe to country yore your s Wliv -yTif' y tollhave to uteh 'soldiers '" %i,' 4 7!;'-. ' r e fo yo rn tte Mexicgns, ten you _d nT il2go toir to Mexicos nmt te a ut oftpce But te Yan- _k ba.... fl e d o ial1 run avay rite y r ' te l ts at eir head t -: ' ' Y Sti ,, u x ' E "1r hY f" ' ' " _, - / e 3 rtrtrt'.t R r TSi1f. WjLEOTURES, &c~ BTDEACON SNOWBALL ANT)i DX)LAGEBLT TTE.19R LAGER-BLATTER'S LECTURE Mine Goot Peoples: I shall -,eard of te young emman vot you shall call Tom Fiddle-faddle, a shal kno more as his fadder and middei- boff' alike, nsureenugh But your minister shall pe more as dad; he shall know, and you shall put von monish in te plate to pay for suoch : 4 Johnrx boy Iil see you righted, Johany boy, my fellow, Dish text shall told you apout Johnny boy who shal be some big gentlemans, vot he shall got ito troubles and shall see you righted, Johnny boy shall pe von fellow too. Tat shal pevon tat he shall. But he shall pe right- ed for all his troubles. Te vay tat youtshall pe righted, I shall tell you very soon. If you shall go into von house, and ask for von glass of sclinapps, and' e shall give you some poor gin, instead of to Hollands, ten you shall preak te pottle lover his head. If you shall camne to church every day, and shall put notting n te plate teniif you shall come and put in von white dollar ten your n ster shall pe righted like vot never shall pe. Tat ish te vay tat you shall make it all right it your minister, ure enough. Yen your vrow shall give you cold eofee u&t morning, and you shall upset te tea-kettle overte f or and hit your 'vrow on to head .i t' tea-c ,ten ou shall pe righted for to cold coffee ure ano g' Ishall pe rightedin mine own country a grlatsmany tiues, as never shall pe sot shal te coen tries yere you shall pa righted. Ifpan onbb you their, you shall goto yed bgonase t"l. and he shallright ala ptfllwa Thte pri-ns sure enough; andif he shall pe sucy voned~ i~d their; he shall hav o brinskn ro t Now e shal ha dish10 hrcIrite g. t& Ve shall' haee t place itevashed pca e t on te walhsAit teir none"s, and their ish' n '6t Si- page: 198-199[View Page 198-199] d e rite oners offto walls as I never shall see. Ye '4l1h0,6'.voAdmittees to see tolhouse gli cleaned up, and. oiii hall puteon bottlee of good Rollads in te pub 'pit,1 Vere 'I shallstake von thinks von I shall pe dry. It sMll help' rlongte preach very much to take one little 6 i i hile, sure enough. Nowy' on:s l lass roundto plate;r'and remember to in emonish you can parefor te minister, who nimre gotasyu 'AGE.EBLATTER LECTURE. Mi ne 9o& P' o; l:.You shall have to test, vich I shall' give' ou in itese vor Here ' to he wind that blows, The~shiip that oe Andth+lass thtgoves a sailor It shall be a text; for vat shall you :call him-vat shall l him 'yen you shall pe gone. for to doctor-Oh;! I tik h efor health Yenyou hltrink te, health, ah te;text. Yautrink one:ealth to te youshatnotin e health often rnitttalotbhws-Tafish to von~health, ish to to otind shallnotstop to hearyou pecause he sa pe '1waygo fast, andtshallmakeYso Much, noise hiwself ahe hl1 xev eairyvat{you shall saiddto him. Te otter hoalths ish'petter as that, an shal pe to te h hh h allgo.To ship shallwent cause t'-tt Y 's trink von goot health to 4,po usoto ipshal go n te n hal 4b:s but zrV_:sbal p no healtheoto steam poatsvich. ' s J} (( t. /yen 'wind shalL pl9w pecasa toyshall n r e or to wids nQ more'tai von hwu8e, whic hall rnot r; aiilon to l'and, xvetoinds shalleplow.surelenoptgh. Th~ 4hi~bps vil sl ot pe voatheamn poatnish g~~l ~'ix~evn te indaU 1o a e ~ halb . BY DEACON SNO ALLAI I LAGERBLATTER. To other health shall been to to las;.tat.shall loe Vo saiors. I know not vat lass -shall{ aei for te silors, I to lass shall love to ministerit shallie veryggoot, pe- cause it'shall pe to duty of allhegwo ens to loretomiin- istees. But I shall not trink to heaho any l ass t ish in love: mit v6 sailor, whose echeha e, oer with tarand his hands ahailpm onselek f hat But if it isYvonsalor of ian eointrVte n Hl[ trink his health as never shall ~peoesume the th hsai lors shAll fight on te seas, and.shall nwhipte agfish^and. American sailors Pothilt togebler ita" r1 shall sweep to sea mit brooy,anid li toEn}i r sh'l run away :vn tey ehalll a* hin do nieiirit1'ta 'broo. Mine Uncle Mynheer Vonaas shtll pevnt sdilr too; and he shal fi gall to other ships t n to grA I shall hear fror'timlas e shall ien tathe ish going to have 'von hieof Duth p t, totbeatrlal steam ships, andsp 8ng te passenger_ t Ar., ri .a ...-2"+ tr you shall see t en to D tchT hlfhve, steamships, suireenough. Myneer Van SlwkhberieadM hrVrnStx- e i, shallipe v' a ei"t~ e, /4"c -e w ho skall _ -", r'4 te plate; and all m tAthallt nt shall pe tuaid ou fte eburc a' 4ter,4o.4a y. N-_ ;;y=.y shall pass himiroundo ante commitee sall:kr u a- d see. . Eda Ant Th ot by a whtto fame the liteorttr ds ethiww6 aright T o bout it nd fid o i ~h at W&8At d see A ane wa a sitting pt nd hen heWas heitr hedes , 1' t Yl t he Ant Jane :as 'ogt4;yirold A44tor b4 'I, l page: 200-201[View Page 200-201] aer "ot up with noa fellers ii her life. So th- is ;man a)ee , w. ,terPnch and he as their aAnt eot gittin are of trowsis maid big- g~ 4 Mit p reyv is a 4ayleress. So he lookt atane n ane loot at him, andi then e:t yyokt atne anoth- er~~in id~~~idr~ oo/Ant Jnes ',end ,she: kinder aese sbhd afelin'er ciu.over hextha se~iyeI~e~ e4,inhe life when she lookt at a ~'mn. ~e el a~ixie~,tede iniie boozuir and. when '"e t r k, n al.ngn t wod lost up to her, she t~kil~ ~flpvr] ff h~twa our-runner of love, they :2,ttre dshest down.Mister Pinch es4d n t: eadrr h.had lookt at her arhlea~~~{his~,woo b~e~a oleino her, he spunks s.ee 'Te bkde kfedfor she .. i , 4r. ' .r ' ba t rita uprnto her throte, as if it Withhat orits outplane; Sez be, bs arts Then she pato s a asdfine andperlite as s, yas thank you,-very ~u ~ ~s afftikled todethibekase she spoke so 4ehputffstone leg on henee of- he otl; a theh. angeit'oer bad /\j / Pputtother Nd o it 3 or imes, ~ i oum~iniier to gity trow- ~iij~~'~ ; Tey sedto inc we swhen i wauk.- ,edt hldupbh bakhandeMand ezxshe,-. "yu a'tsa 6!Tatut b readful flowdid ata: i s yo. 1j ea her, r-"itas ifgrate Tohe dy a lyin' tu BY DEACON SNOWBA0I D IDP!iCH LARGE BT"TEB. aall down in mister Dickson's pastor', and hen i stoopf down to pick up heavy stun,ytrowswas so tit that they busted all out behind." " 0 dredful' sez Ant Jane,.and lie kinder collugd up. So they kepp a tocking, and he telled her how'lie hid re- spectable relations-htw one of his un/clehad aof a was reckoned e y smart and howbe cood nlaymore stun. wall in a day than Sam Phillips the big niggerfronit Var- mount. Then Ant Jane thortshe should, have died for ghis love, and when he laid his' hand.on her nee 'fe tionatelehe wiggleds thase didn' noewhat wa- th mn.tteWith herS So heentto=AtHepseys :y'evray d.y rter dat; and Peter called' every dayt see'if his tiowsgsWasdone;, and Ant Jane tolled Hepseythat-she' beter not hrry with the trowsisp and ode dayshe kethe d An1t Jane pck' ing out the stitches v;hen h erbkack as.turned _ So he kepp coming everyday to:.e th h istrowis, and then he sotand wkeddi anhadffaouata time, and then Jane telled'him thatshe, had d$eaeof gray cloth at-horethat w sjestabout bge ftc ' k a new seet for hi trowsis; and if he thort eet' she :obd taik the trowsis to hernone hou se, ad sw_ on. o he was tickled-haff to peaches and-{ e S he took them homeandsow ene athh a leaf to go to Church with hIeoni the uiiztSabbath So they went tgeer, and hehda=o theontroais with a new seet aind'as soona.he sot down by th&al$ of Jane in the puehejit riiu a cat; and begun to hop alioutin the pue4 i aw y s sed; and Ant Jane hortAthatlovewas=in 'hsr tit? . , wasn't that. it was ane's needle wihsebd lf the patch, anda'it run iuto his bhin&a irthaf~? nh So ht heldaher smad ingtbttl to hiu nosetEen.- er i, and she was so ffsetioe tatbegggl i lov with her, and they was published and married. page: 202-203[View Page 202-203] 4Atithy4iad been marie d awilinthraud site W{«a woke ne."p "oz rnt iii a hurry ad teled ji.a t t + rkw as rntori, i~teyeod' f 4,te r. 4}d, P t~r 71i ,yd;r h . t ' Luo r" wa &pretynamt j&A 4 t 1 TA ~ ' h'4 ' V ,/'. t a a ,,frGttek j-;'ey f S 1r-:bort. So we 4 are i=;7° _lIJ amazed_ s 'd-°' t' . &y h w i at npo"S t i.' air'-th to,' name .: ,ts-it Fay- "ter se .4,.L '! , ) , Y + M c ' and the was " goin' down ~ pto6ni ~i't~tod t yua word orto tell ou how*t _ t oxi n a .adpunig Susan 'Skire4 8cOfof'dwn-,, t~ tu& git a OW ui. nd rud fh her,+ a nd4sho w her.. , + :h & It b " :#=AI' 4 dith Promontory she g tori to t n f e t ¢'ko4j she wants to rmat ya' bo to n jentlrn l7} "ait + veya d to h.+hay'} hie :'t cbfftodoabt' wpAwat"o do i t r' §yth fxh the nsa~r~,d~b~a1,' o ad t aong' eter F hl1 &6~ wth on-fth wu~ing d.o-It .vii s n -+s tit Vt fettha+aiiit i: erix# to 'uh C d r ws "mn,-' '*' th V h ,'. hYit,;2? Y± A j' fw ' 1" F. I,' _ j v-tsfll ,L}' ' .4 r 4"++Y j, I=1 +X' " 1'. a" _ y, to, "AN ' t " r -S' ', l" T' ,.,al i-, Ord OA- I f X, "i"ct ;, .- .111" P +' _ .r _- i F'iy 1~.a^' '1}la's{ *l"J'=J_ ':kiH '. ' : :iiT" J ,dt .l+ page: 204-205[View Page 204-205] Si , "}l=: o ' bdel alway; sacalledRuth the hansumest $4Ui for she its tall and slim and asgot y} bl-:a eyes. So when thifiller, and his n~i~m w hh as ata arty were Rth was ,sout, s i.gess he didn't like ita ~~~~ $e'b,"gi asum fokes hay curious ", i . ' .,"3Y*" I, t ebut' he iookt at her a but he di4'Vs a wr. Ten silas Snith cum along and kist tind hene look atSilasndhuth zshe-~ ~ i gsi ou'd better go and kiss Abigail y. F eSfor 1ome foke thinksthat she isbetter than Ssh lotite at that airBrown, ~nd~e akiner okred 1eka4 luv was in his heart for ad t1 r *aeiu .+ he rom, and her father e he-" So ~yuv tider noio!ate y dart!e r;,. and eu rer'ryps . = !T';y, ' ~~ oe sity intem~nand ieu think that you'll h ay her ~ oBon s ey, hehad a' kinder notion arter the gaaL" ok "W.'ea, . " don ' no yieu and, i dont no as you 'eworh 1 thadaerD you noe your kate- : 4_y s; benord it ever sense he was 'a boy. Then him, hened rarnarad he sd yes. A' Wll~ ~in much, foinee larded gramar and 'I , ri it,a he J~ws~evrhe le rw e p that nite with is ~$o h~ ld oed wettoebed and thesot up.ai =U- q ze&,'4biaijh{,kshe woodtik; te lis'-in the sitty .44 b t 44ih. wod i e swell and axe him'ifhe kinder 5b g i $ uet U115 ,B o . e tt 'e b i . d r.f t e owed a _ coach,,.and whe.hetelled ber n&, she =sedtl i ti she married hi, she sho eeto h a cocha six white horses like inde rille. Browte edYbig}tahe woodh.a a coach with severghorses, and that w a d beg betr yet. Thenshe was tiekledup to her eyes,:and sedthat as soon as he ,botthe and seven horses to the do she would get i and}"o ortith hip Then he aed that theywo a good as ina{riedalr dye aud he went:up to herto gi hre a hug, and he a her on=the p nd she tr toulh himaw n h wos, so:tronge e him -b ckwrdsan htu bled er at a a he fell he cotho o fie galtohold himself turnbe, over oateof him nYdit maid se a: raeet.that it woke up th ldfokesnd Abigails father 0u n down stairs iiis shirt-tale and s. B.row;sgot up 4 nd hea stood their logkin s d.in the fgge a s eser; and so hefatherhetell d mheost p fthe milk hhad spilt. So{I ut iitefdown ron hisea e and -swore fhat he hadn't a centin is pocket d at, e a his last si peuce for a jintiel .iga i Thgei bg be- gun to cryforsheY4eed t Kt *osh ul yi' - her &oach and seven hbsses and Br sca mpered,:and he':,evr been seen sense. ~i 'elubbed J:rudcr m: On/dai usaf - r'casion pus' -=ct-- ed pre herwill edifyd oq b die ongb color, w de folerin' oitet ob de pos ernes: Ior ' can'txe Lr ,' hi"e # f~ _~_ " r ',1"rts " r '{,_I_' ray v, i- Vt'5'. ) page: 206-207[View Page 206-207] ,F " re " , rt t .4 _ . _'-K k ii_ Fe , r . '. " l U:s 1e.t_' -Yo'bL I '11 heeij ed ob aJth th1A IiNwd~ ~nidesm h~~tra r-"X" ', i1t mipte -. Dein d t is-fosd j.' plearure t3 c n'0 rc. e'r:wel dro e ou m , , si. ~~ ' cI .' a , t . F, n "4 pl, ! i..tebde fo14xriu'-tF g oii its in rr ' 'd-t e y: J u s r way t h rak irr it }'1y r ; YorrtuJk %Jes ^p r bkln thi i f- "' /\! -- n ')else t 4ohwt * , "f l,,, k4m" ' r f it uyi ^1 * I soup 8LA~. A.f/o . oh ou adon t o friir be =~sE r y 'i e. e 'e rd s l;'a :.ri derk~ l. ~a~r~ :but y0rj 're-tedp e ,' _ .aC I" ,* i r. F,"pS "'_ o " t, 41 p, o rt i J. .Yo~'L, apeete .0e 0, f~re#toitl t;; de ii ttre J E kisei t' da!k - 1''~elj,^ t ~f7,'di: roh'"; oh r,,''' V Jay.' in 'ou_,ato y i g~ ,"to _b e ' yr v x .i Y 'r'u" tt _-b ' 4id ^ d ime o .osebei, at"~ i 'r ft W w isio3n.;ud", tode'raelw4'4t you-r f °: , p' "ar h~~Ay~~~pected~ 1ki~ t &4'e, ~ ~ w~ittt1 *° ~er yugt .)p I a WeuJur'~ptle pa rwt i n; YA;[ W w .. ,,"'' F."gseo}- - -.tn '-,s .- o.~ t ., 4 ar- )_'s peote& p Se-rt' tl.s^:1; . ad, = ,_ 4 -d' i , *& te y f J czf~wrd . ize' e tat d' K.d 13YYIDflACO?; SXOWD*At MOR sh oxily:humn ober d r to 'lokat ,unk r IJ ou : Darf ~~Orur Op drahe'1oit6tQdecro ohis reye at her,At l~ he ied an~ n made im a. -cuirhee,; and'se gshr-" I thaik"y ouki:= ly, Datlubly ou 1 Myo clor dti .h r bd r ~ on de grou dar -n464yu' $ete~rh&toe down to pick itt up; bt.t he :dt ,w1 w Ftrry cl1l fa t+' n-i +ihdarfore he :t tU t heedo i and. arei; eb it to 'dat lady oh 'of r; ' asehe did1 wnV totouhitwi his 'finger. - fie De+ end iiin hd do 'rcumstane dat .y 'I jp ected 'preaehei'sbrud r hab gth- 1 f o1ogKI~ lad;and lhe aut t4:,fnd}"umtmngto do inxi line 1He hab ben Ks d "to -i gandpoknrppeand rnilldti cowsandas hfrbisie s di n e;o:+ ry ~i cun olostou -= to Wa sittva :nand hopes yoawF ill rin. quire if dar i antiugn rhm od De third -dii isi~ iS'~~ttfka eioi l~r vin' lg m gar soup' is c ang:ed, and;;nows y ;omwU hb five o'clock in do harte tnoonin' ted oh si;1iflfurther: _0 tiss-price 4 pence. a bowl widout -crackers, h jin ewid , derv. Cesar will clo.e .ipa he ti lz dat hie augkhteut to sell rwssin;.dent ' codiniy dor to desnil.a and youcan our &.4rjn yu. pe lubbd p° tu*h,bzso :z*' hoeadt i41 grVei *$wto y i ll :lat ic= fors.pos4$a ; {; ar ¢ i l~~pkIt~A to Tyz 'Art i i"lrAin 4~v~~ bTM,~~t a ws g~4n 0. K . A ,;;;= page: 208-209[View Page 208-209] Al a s* t afr' d mdt'sgottno.religion. When your prea d r gitsd.,,he will hab church in upper part ob lecturs da every eek-. i'de to de wacancy ob saxon in disg cT dder ole 'eak obgin fishin'to ketch' na}:. ee° a and i:ewa t. sumbody to take de place ob da tonan.^Youn a1 b de place for-five-dollars and st centnYeduty o de saxon is to sweep out dA me 'to mako fire in do stove, to'hit boys wid rat- tb dey eat peaut: and to 'pass 'roundde hat; for dis~rie ea a n de fpllerin'mannern wieneber ao d h ankerolerin. dechuich, or lose her oleondfloo,'ade=sax on -hab right- to -pick it up- an4~keegitffor:h eft: till he gut enuffob denm ting to hab. i4 endo&x 4dselL den. oft Beides dathet, hab de pr"~ob{ b b clrm'souponce aweekin de sullar. . 11wlpass 'rounddhat on 40 portentt 'casion, l~en coleetionwill be took up for your'spected preal chr' brde. esidoadat he wants sumwI ere to sleep "Woi9. igh t. " Me o sPe Y u minister shall. peach to you "T oeada;ate better than one" D~hi~ e~wpr itaa w heasis roite petter as one A~I ou~cat ~ it t n oanings of e w9~. ~ red i topaers ta sild wasp porn mit tw~he4s &t~, ees him fr; show Tat is perry 'w4~ ~i h~te mae-mi t~shid mit~two heads, ~dj~hslal 1~veon badto ske moish at all ~'t doti~ ~o a hoW peaeinqboddy are ~u~f~i h~e~rly e ead; ut if ounshll Y DEACON SNOWBALL AN-I eHLGRiBLAT 2Q have two heads then every pody shall oallto seeyou;{a pagte monish intoto pargan. Dish is a miracle; Ae'i}Edsrish von rnirac:le and ish perry goot-formuch t ainut it i r:bad, for de vittles;-peau-e tans two m tto of to head haveuO dout for et1de'ittles. Wheuyou shall treat yourself to shnappi you will payvfor wo glassesof :schnag-p f for boteo m touthshics dry and want todrin. envonhead can drink ahelth o to todder head, and te can:trinke;health of oneinother. Ven you shall bayete two:head, and youg oetead tre or to museumie y charge-yotoete bb hes e cause to four eyes shallee tto.play.I io head' tile shall jine dish church andeto odder head.go.foeyine 50om otter churc, ah, tat ould be tontuivrl all over, because te two heads quarel togedder, and nottiugshall pes pad as quarrel between twoneighborsat.shall live o close togetter. t Putt to text hall say ta.w heads is0betteras von, and you must believe te text or you shall returned out of tis church. Darfore, pefore you come in tis wordyt gt .o bray tat you peonmid twoheads;pecuetw heads isamore.pett r as.a.y refvosvopLpig yhO t hU. te Ilandsatwas seenpy.mie audnD strecht, tat -had seventeen hias-ta vo ghst Jit to text sha" say notting- apout teiea,'nd it dont say ttoevntehesi*ptz'atioptyo shall kno tat-,ifrtwo i 1a p;t''wvou;--".. tem pa together. To -is"ct rz ehtsEg* ' m a beads to te1s fliofl'. To'+o#e he;tp t. :"x- * p= ' _4,y, /- 7 ,,.' ' r1 F ./ . li t " r 1 : S i ; f ( ,ham -'; L. r . - s page: 210-211[View Page 210-211] B. re :As yus'peefMd prefer habi ld l~ .ox eye o en todert dU ,e te~t-o ~ d5want ge ob r de pop. weu't 6b, tj ; ,ook t utbi oa 3te h'Ighway" ~ ~yft dt h *~ ~din~ 1~ iScot- t le~ve dat ~laY e+ifs -jmewhardewn East Whar r i, ++ tt'i pa ce z tr:s. co e cm. De'caite tl ~beli~ ort o~n. ie ~*i~a~wads, born only ~Ittishb oti Spo te} he' be brn on p4e's greett h-lie"',or nd'At s e ecn F at ~orkorn iMd prta ame for ek~s~b~*a~hirig: h~r~rehe a~ ung ons tie- S7 Al(~t ~at'sxenya e' toka wf, en oh de *ait oyearoldshe a ' !ki,' ~ i nfr t5'f4f + {^, r hi ; } it t ,,t ,t; +ri t look t't Y al o V ii e , r ; ij d I ;i =fl t s e'i ck . "outY' le a. 'i bd.i 3kib~a- ljt r kin 'r w~'" ; }i'+1ee ti s ga ady~ n r i 4 M1 's ai'h ' 4: el ,I BY DEACO' SNOW 0,LL z ~ 4 -BLATTER. den she; kiss hit- and make a. d r8fee ad uiak sir, kindlyY Defouf diwsion oh d~e t ~tde =her de fack dati h sa / pothrj*ffu x4~~ ut prettbonne ohr head; -and-hab her l air ""c _dby d , :bTrber_, heh _'b' r, t .., ty brass huiger r i h&a ;i/he pi ilk +frco~n dat vwhite ay U .nY.~~q~znie~~n nt o b doin' like- our 'pte rezd:Oe krWideou Whb ben sullar to" sell ol a = ou , gib rt o 'al on de hihsy Hrttat d-al ~jcar, d when he.,owishu i dem, he '.in n~ :d &ra mo ;y..idt~k f a l i~ put 'on di hite g al. t1 ;h 4t"fid 7tdd te hisr neck ,foer him Dh Ig s feelbrrery r'el in' dem--b ting - : ; .I hoe dis ba elniwyni pallds ~te gagio, ob -color: how 4y~'teal tii/g an pdd e armoey to u- close for dar ga 4You? 'pe _rdrpisaoher 'lude n'ik lar to" Luke Jmowh ''ayi'teto o PIli on sigand hab gt her a ,newr ak ndl.petticoat.I°op dat Luke cum honest byd, 'm__ -_ t ; .-: , an l dar-is so.' " s 'pi.r . ' cion adat he, come -disho a t Pb y . Defore I h pe de. al Ill fuse to take- dem inda Akbngerbeaed deceiver is hrad ag-d ti f. . 'y Your~cl'eckbd e ll wh ' dat l~li er ni ,gare fodonEast 't le . ar _o3 nQ u t 4d& } ~ eh cre nggr tn mk "ble'esh t;kd r ii4 hfi Di/ sh h ab neI b r Had trpei; et~bit~ aadttiiuo t ig. 'C batI4 /' . _ _ ' __ i - j, f r ' ! ..., . 5.. ; r ... Wit" ~ i page: 212-213[View Page 212-213] V Vt "krt olh isular whar d rs sum woodee pd ass eat fire. eWhabinwite4 d amperorSoldpauee d Massa Gree- le~ti~ e~crne-on b el, de iEt Fourf, W hae. b)ea de' 6dder kind der 4bell. Brudder L~e~~bgot a i~~a h Le hag up dar, anid do Hes~wi d 1krywl ~g W: sum one to d~i~~bl an you Nsped $ pointed eo into de te' ndhg basand a tiikleob do simble." s.ou srit 4;pecher will 1 de. bell, and charge y~u'affa, 61lr adooo de. neyt e left mi do sullar. m~ loetaf lab dewm ~% '~oneyr dar-if you Aid vae has got to go on ae top-ob do 'teeple, so rudde Wi6 Stiheahonetde 'cqafish dat hangs up udieellBr ,dde g11inet 'prvon doe'hole. t'spect dat yon putoo ltbh oey de hat onds 'portant 'casion, bekase you 'spe teadher amgwoinee to Fresh Pond oi Jumo and odder ladies ob color onda 0ttcasl dahas wolunteered to nde with ' r Widgeon widpa= 'round de hat nd sister Cr~t~il pas round herbonni 'mong de 'lubly ladies 1r ', Unclerolr i a nd fartherand me and cuz- -G;dh r #' jest' d,huui fm going in the steem-lte. 4We4 'hdeed adgiatedeal abont'hbe stemebote from p ruddeepl tak' ws.iwthe cangd ' last we had a wan hoo BY D1ACQN SNOWBALL ANDDIED ! QT}LAGE-RBLATTER. 21$ cum' to our house to work at moivi'and he:. had ben. in a steme-bote and he tolled us all abo t it, so then we intar-- mined that we od seenth&}4ter ad hav' a ride in it, We had'never had g4i3ge ontle water, ,only in a canal bote abowt teh mil $d h leered kwait no more dana gerous to ride in aee-bi e thar won -f thenmaiw. At the time w e i i:r a canw l te:heir -as a grate many galp in wiah us, a d that ni It. more daneiouser than ever, bekase e% we had ben eastawa thegalg d hay' clinghed bhld 4'afeller, like a ^ct, aild heldthen down u4 t# tilthey gatdrownded Ho:guineve we, intarmine o in' the stei -bote, 'We ed.up the wagging and bid goodbye toy allu r:relations nd we went down to Portlagd and their was a=stere-b to there and we noed that 'we coed all. go n it,. Se we want up to the place where it was ted fas, to three all-fired grate posts. We axed w a mn hoo Vwas takin' big boxes into the boat, how to git.in. He=telled uswernst wogk' down im' to the bote on a'big board tat ts their With. onerend: on the bote and tether on thesairth._ V Then we locked along on that;air b ord aid i was pes- ky afeared shood'fall"offand bb ete pby the. b igwales that.swimsin theragig mane As tofarther he e sd.we V must trust t4 Providence and that he 'believedwe shood git 7s nothe; og'if. a kept steddy ,At last; We all gtsafest into.hbotei waeta y .ta got in safet, andthen tenqui edhoowad the river, we wanted to ride on thoawer. Nobody wood tell us foagra w man cu up an dhe t aing as hcal self."'-' ' Then farther-and i and uncle John andou z Obad tk off our hats :and aida lo b6 rgh}4.nd we sz "We hoge you ar 1ell, fandallyo'fMr- ( H' lookt .us very sharp, an4 hedidd1entay nothing atellyland. thhere w as azi 0hc~an hr s krr itee page: 214-215[View Page 214-215] 214 COMIC LECTURES, &O., out, so i am glad their is a native party to put down the irish, hoo awt to all be sent back to Africa whair they R from. Arter a wile, this capting asked us what we- wanted of him. F arther and Uncle Obed telled liim that they wanted to ride on the water; and if he was the driver, they wood pay him any munny to git a chance to ride, He telled us that he was goin' down to Bangyor and wood ax us a dollar a peace to ride there, and another dollar to ride back, and we should be obleeged to stay all night in Bang-yor. Farther telled him that he wood hay' no sectionss to stay all night, if his wife new he was out; but she hadn't sposed he wood stay all nite and she mite be jellus. Then the capting sed we might do what we was a mind for to do, dnd he went into a little clozzet and begun for to rite; and uncle Obed sed he sposed that the capting was riting to farthers wife to tell her that he wood be gone all nite. So we stade in the bote, and the fust we noed, we heer- ed something rdre like a pesky grate tickkittle a biting, and we looked up and seed a big black thing, bigger than the nose of a blacksmith's bellusses and the smoke and steem was goin' out on it like all natur, and it went whiz whur-r----.-r-r, and maid all sorts o' noises. Then we see a hull passle of people hurryin' into the steam boat and they cum with ban-boxes and trunks, and- then, in a minnit, the bote begun to ride, and the ropes was ontied from there bigposts, and a little inn, gallus begun to go up and down, and there was a dredful hissing- and smok- ing, and the steemboat rid out into the seize where the water was deep and the waves lookt as white as a guce. There was tue wheels to the bote, and .they kept a turnin' round and maid a heap of dust in the water,- Far- BY DEACON SNOWBALL AND DIEDRICH LAGER-BLATTER, g1 ther's wagging has gut four wheels, but this thing had only tue. 'So we rid all the way to Bang-yor, it was nite. So then we found a plaice to sleep in, and the nixt morn- in' we cum back to Portland. We got into the wagging and rid hum, and mother was so glad to sea us cum back safet that she upsot a pan- cake into the fire, and telled uncle Obed to run homr to his wife who wos worried to deth for fear he was cast away and got drownded on the raging mae. Arter this i think i shall stay on the airth for i've gut eDuf of riding ovh the water LAGEllBLATTEWl' LECTURES Mine Goot Peoples:; To text I shall give you shall pe in tese vords: On a brben hogshead, Weeping all forlorn, Sat a bnited loafer- All hig gloiry gone ! Two large tears were streaming. ]Down hirsslemn face, e'en like Free and Jaceson Rumnng their great race." Teir shall 'pe many kind of seats, and hear shall pe to von vich te gemman is setting on-von proken hogshead sure enough. He shall set down dere pecause all his glo- ry shall pe gone. Tat shall pe bad mit his glory gone, as if it shall pe tat all his monish igh gone. Tat ish pad too ven all te monish shall been gone t It vash von busted loafer, lie shall had monish vonce, and now it shall,,pe goiter and tat shall pe von busted loa- fer. He shall veep all alone, pecanse ven his minish ish gone who shall vant to see him ten. Ven he shafl had no more monish to pay for te schnapps who sh all vant to be mit te man vat shall treat you no more? Vat ladies shall page: 216-217[View Page 216-217] COMIC LECTURES, &C. vant to see te man ven he shall not buy tern no more ice- cream? I shall not vant him in te church, yen he shall have no oe t to put into te plate, as you shall see ven rotting shall pe in te pocket, and he shall set on von pro- ken hogshead: Teir shall pe two large tears on te face of tat loafer. Vat shall pe te goot to drop down te tears? I shall not drop down any tears ven I shall get married to mine goot vrow, and tat shall pe te vorst tings tat.I shall ever did, yen I shall get"married, sure enough. Teir shall ape von ,nan in mine country I shall hear apout andhis tears shall pe von shilling-von silver shil- ling-shall pe every tear. I shall have him here to cry into te plate, it shall pe-goot. Oh! he shall shed as many tear as he shall please. I shall like to see him weep a plenty, sure enough. He shall corne here to veep venever he shall please. Te text shall say apout Fogg and Ellsworth tat run their great race. Tey ish shed tears I suppose ven tey run. I shalt believe tey shed tears ven tey shall lose te vager, and shall laugh till tey cryvon tey shall vin to vager. Tat shall pe te rvay tey shalI shed tears ten. -shall never shed tears but vonce in minelife. It shall pe ven I shall fill mine schmoke-pipe and sot down to schmoke, and vonhorse and cart shall run:avayvere I set in my door, and pefope get nut of te vay, te cart shall run against mine piped leak it all to pieces and spill all te tobaccos. THE END. I
